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messages to unclepumpkin:
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from deviouslife :
Cna I marry you? Please?
from timetrials78 :
Nerds are the worst - plus they are elitest - why?? How can that be?
from timetrials78 :
Caramel is the best bitches. I am going to start my own line of clothing named Caramel - you will be the spokesmodel - I demand it!
from timetrials78 :
I like Mayhem - when is his next crazy fight? Also - doesn't Andrei have fangs? are they real??
from gumphood :
Kooz Necks is right. I can't wait to see what pirate of the ass they put up against him next.
from gumphood :
C-bone felt that K-biggie-bang's french shirt made him look kinda like the Hamburgler. Not in a bad way, but I thought that was funny.
from gumphood :
3 month mark up the date
from redsirenbody :
hehe. Two Fems together, huh? I always love to see that myself...By the way, I have no problem with seeing two hot guys making out at all...but then I am me. Glad you got to see something which made your day...Life is good. L
from janitor-x :
Unless you work in a warehouse full of discontinued Japanese Star Wars merchandise, I'm not your brother. But, yes, hello. Give the bad customers a hard ass-boot for me.
from gumphood :
I am pretty sure any girl would want the old "double horn"
from goalieman :
All right; I've sworn up and down that these things were nothing but trouble. But I figure, what the hell; eleven billion internet psychos can't be wrong, can they?
from redsirenbody :
I will bring a gun of my own if I can join you in your outing...
from gumphood :
You know, I have a good dental program, and in MA we can get married, if thats a factor.
from redsirenbody :
god I am hungry. Smiles and winks to you! L
from gumphood :
The key to any good food is lard. And will Alan eat it. Will alan eat lard? Yes...yes he will.
from gumphood :
Dude. Nik and Nat Have to talk.
from redsirenbody :
this entry made me a bit...excited. smiles and winks. L
from gumphood :
nate likes little animals.
from redsirenbody :
yes i am in on that move to canada....hugs.
from berserkfury :
I'm going to Canada with you. Fuck Bush
from redsirenbody :
don't die, love. rest and sleep will come soon, if they have not already. I am thinking great thoughts for you...Love L
from berserkfury :
Ghetto assholes and movie theaters definitely don't mix. By the way, can I have your children?
from gumphood :
which theater did you go to.
from lauralgood :
game 7.... rally time. love laural
from gumphood :
I feel like, when I fart, and I had to pee, and I don't have to pee so bad anymore...that's good.
from lauralgood :
One game at a time...Hugs and love. Laural
from redsirenbody :
well. some men sit down on the toilet every time they go to the bathroom...smiles.
from jackprague78 :
Hooray for that. Sox Roxx, "Red Sox Nation" is just about as annoying as "The Curse." I mean really. Is the Babe saying: "I'm a famous fat dead man - I'm really gonna' occupy my time in the afterlife fucking with a team I didn't play with for long, and then sent me to a team that helped make me a famous fat dead man!"
from redsirenbody :
I am sorry I have been too busy to check my updated buddy list. I always get excited when I see you have updated. That entry was really a great one. Hugs to you mr. pumpkin.
from gumphood :
It just hurt. Those fucking Yankees fans, and their gloating, and everything was too much to take when I wrote that. I am ready to come back to Fenway and get this done. I hope we can. 4 out of 5 isn't too bad when 3 are at home.
from gumphood :
I agree. I haven't given up. I still have them winning with Pedro and Arroyo. Three games in Fenway makes a diffrance.
from gumphood :
rocket. 50th entry. Make it count.
from jackprague78 :
ok... 3843 Keystone Ave. Apt #5, Culver City, CA 90232 - pass it around...
from jackprague78 :
Yo! Miss you man. Will call soon (I even have an address now!) I'm living with Mike, and tonight, bum bum bum - I do my first Run follow on the floor! Ahhh back to my crappy ass whites.
from redsirenbody :
I hope you update soon I need to laugh. Grad school is amazing...I am actually getting the feeling that I am going to learn the beginnings to the art of teaching! I am so tired of my stupid job and wish to be in a classroom now...soon. soon. soon. I keep telling myself. My dream will come true soon. I don't really know why I am telling you all this but I am. So there. I hope you are happy. L
from agentorange :
V-dawg! you are the funniest man on earth. you need to come back to new orleans! -xo-
from revuereviews :
The 'fuck you' entry just brought a tear to my eye -- and I think I might have peed a little. ;)
from zoolegs :
Wow, I was going to say that it's ok that we don't get to talk much. Until that last part... Now, I don't know what to say.
from redsirenbody :
That is so odd...I have been dealing with guilt as well about not being the friend and daughter I should be. Or maybe everyone feels that way and just does not express it. shrugs. I hope that we both find the time to do what we need to do for those we love. Keep pushing. Love L
from services :
also, I was going to buy you a supergold (not just gold, SUPERgold mind you) for a few months, but then I had to fill out paypal information, and that was just stupid and annoying. So you don't get anything.
from services :
You bastard, you spend more time on this stupid online diary than talking to your best friend. I'm gonna tell everyone in the real world that your father is aquaman. That oughtta fix you.
from gumphood :
I like the layout. I liked when we meet up. *wink Wink*
from redsirenbody :
you are an odd man, Wonderfully and Excitingly odd. Do you have a request? Hugs. L
from jackprague78 :
Yeah I was in a movie with my folks out in Nashua,NH last night when you called. Adopted huh? How odd that Aquaman is your father, when... I AM AQUAMAN!!! (does aquaman have a secret identity? well he does now.)
from redsirenbody :
wow. great layout. Another job to NEVER do...Credit. Just don't do it. esp in the casino industry you really leave feeling a bit dirty and not in a good way. L
from zoolegs :
Hey! You never call! I cry myself to sleep every night about it. Actually, my shitty life makes me cry myself to sleep. Feel like having a visitor? I need to get out of here.
from gumphood :
Dude, I thought Kerbang came up the shark and wolves thing. What a tail I tell.
from risa3000 :
Drama?? Where? I'll kick you.
from gumphood :
I want you to come out sat night
from gumphood :
I would love for you to live with us too! However, I liked the prelude to the car entry. I like the idea of an aweoseome car. Or something like that. Call me.
from anniewaits18 :
hmm...if john is moving out, philip is moving out, and i think paulette is moving out, i might move out...still need a spot in your apartment? I think everyone has gone insane
from risa3000 :
fuck! I meant Casa.
from risa3000 :
you should come live with us at Case De Malden.
from jackprague78 :
Ladies and gentelman, our newest Cheesecake bartender, "Vik the Sick Slick Indian Dick!"
from redsirenbody :
god that was funny. silly. and just what i needed. I hope work turns out to be better than you think it will be...smiles and hugs. L
from gumphood :
If I murder someone Alex works with, can she come out on Saturday? Hmmm...I actually don't think that would really help unless it was a customer she was serving. Because if one of your customers die, you get to go home and get an "a" on all you tests. Unless you murdered the customer. Then you get a B minus.
from anniewaits18 :
hey you. thanks for clenching your ass on me, now i have an imprint of it forever and ever. it was so firm and so so ...um, firm. yeah, I meeaaaaaannnnnn....
from redsirenbody :
hey you. i can't remember the name of that Clash song you told me of...but I found one called "The Guns of Brixton" that I love. I had heard it before but it was a while ago...I need to get my Clash CD's out and listen to them again! Keep happy. Pain has a way of lessening...I don't miss her as much this morning. I don't know what has changed. Goddess bless us. Laural
from redsirenbody :
figured it out. I can not get a read on your feelings and it makes me uncomfortable. But it intrigues me too. I don't think I have ever met someone so jummbled as you seem to be. Guess you are going to have to tell me to fuck off before I give up. Really you should tell me too if you want me too it will only hurt for a moment...Smiles. Hope your day is wonderful. L
from redsirenbody :
Just wanted to say hi. I hope your day is going well. Hope to talk with you soon. L
from redsirenbody :
I have been in such a mood lately. And not a good one. Why I feel the need to leave you that tidbit of information is beyond me. L
from redsirenbody :
I know hot and muggy. awful. yuck. keep cool. L
from gumphood :
Nope. Its true. You can ask "Shelly". So I liked the moive. I though Doc Oct was good. They tortured the shit out of Parker though. And parts were really funny. Things I didn't like: Quick zooms. Random Screaming women. THe "jesus spiderman hand passing scene" and one other thing...but I forget what. But overall it was good.
from redsirenbody :
Thank you for the acknowledgment...I will think good thoughts for you: I will think that your anger will dissipate and will manifest itself in the best mood you have ever been in. I will think these thoughts for you until it happens. And if that doesn't work I will help you kill people with swords. Whatever it takes...Smiles. L
from anniewaits18 :
i feel your pain. i used to work is something similar [starbucks] and i work with idiots all the time [editing tech support] and everyday i'm convinced america is the stupidest planet on earth. at least nobody asked you how to restart your computer "do i press the restart button to restart?" WHAT?! And this job has me hating californians and i'm from california. okay, back to the idiots. hurrah!
from gumphood :
I found waiting tables made me very mad, but then after doing it, I just got more mad. Finally I ended up being so mad I became a bad worker, but I didn't care. Because I was mad. Then I would get mad at all the fucken idiot pissants I worked with and freaking dutch people. God I hated the Dutch. Then I went and got mad that I had to work. But in the end, I accepted that if this is the worst, the rest of my life can be so much happier, and so I bought a bunny, and hugged people, and then snapped the bunnies neck. Fuckin bunnies.
from redsirenbody :
Ok this is ridiculous...I go from not leaving you a note to leaving two. and you aren't even answering them. Oh well. such is life. so what are small breasts in your opinion (I have breasts I consider average size though I don't know what average is...) and what type of porn do you like? anything specific? I will be back to read more and leave unanswered notes I am sure...I have a fetish for being ignored it seems. Keep happy. L
from redsirenbody :
I certainly was not going to leave a note for you for some reason but your midlife crisis (or more aptly named quarter life crisis, thanks John M) I have the same fears. I doubt anyone with any ambition does not have them. But I thought I would tell you I want to be a snake charmer too...I wonder if they let girls do that there? I could be a boy to be a snake charmer...I could. Your words are wonderful. Your friends are right you need to update more. Your words have the beautiful ring of truth to them. Thanks for sharing.
from gumphood :
SO the plan is backcrack, we want to go to your neck of the woods this weekend. So keep in the loop. Or I will poop. Doop.
from gumphood :
I love that freaky monkey thing. I just wish it would stop playing with my transformers that don't transform. ie Gobots.
from gumphood :
yeah. you me cod, datch, and cakes. I mean, ASAP. And I mean early. Before dinner I hope.
from zoolegs :
Hey. Call me already. I work until 5 tomorrow, all day friday, and then have the weekend off...
from gumphood :
speaking of which. Sports this weekend Saturday
from gumphood :
Brigga Blarg Blarg ROAWG
from anniewaits18 :
I meant I will TRY not to talk about those topics. I didn't mean to imply that I didn't or will not. My name is Sharon and I endorse this message.
from gumphood :
Thanks for coming man. I had fun. I hope you and Alex did yoo. I mean too. Sorry about that!
from gumphood :
It's okay. I understand. You can admit that your nice place in the nice part of town is really a refridgerator box, but I understand if you can't. I am trying to work with you to get you off the streets and cure up that syfilis. We will work it out. We are the world...we are the children. sing with me...
from gumphood :
I actually did write that for my class. I am really not kidding! Wasn't it awful. My other favorite story is about me taking a CPS class for dogs. I was weird. This is why I did math. The teacher was nice, that's for sure. Hazzard should have failed me.
from gumphood :
hey. I think we should break up. My love for you....is like a snake. You think it's slimey...
from promise-made :
you make me laugh.
from gumphood :
Dood. YOu need to call me or something We need to talk about a few things. Sound good to you?
from anniewaits18 :
Hugo Boss does make really nice suits. I hear Justin Timberlake wears them all the time.
from gumphood :
Sometimes...when I mastrubate...I think about wookies...
from anniewaits18 :
Hello?! Where the hell have you been? I have no life now that I'm on the east coast, hence, i need you to update your mofo.
from mondocurio :
Dude....its been 69 days.. wink, wink
from spiraloutxx :
You like the Transplants! I heart you!
from anniewaits18 :
me too!
from gumphood :
I like it when you fart on my brain.
from gumphood :
I think you have gone from zany to brany. I am going to leave that due to the horrific spelling of one of those words. ... Now I just have to figure out whch one. (chipwitch)
from sarika :
take a look at the people on your buddy list and compare them to mine. That may give you some indication...Argh my head... Your i turned your kitten into an elf. I'm very sorry. x
from kerbang :
i love your entries.
from gumphood :
Bro, my retarded comp can't read your entires until I decode them. I need to hang out with you at somepoint. Now that we are both in the city this is easier. I am not working tomarrow. Line drop me
from anniewaits18 :
dude don't knock on the women and their tampons. You try having a tampon stuck up your ass and bleeding every month...see how hot YOU feel.
from anniewaits18 :
At least your poop is firm. I can only say so much about my own bowel movements.
from gumphood :
YOU HAVE LOST IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW SOMEONE CAN ACT SO CRAZY BEEP. YOU SHOULD BURP CALL MY CELL PHONE CAUSE MY FRIDAY IS FREE.
from nateboxley :
Sometimes when I hear things behind me I think its you.
from anniewaits18 :
I also decided to go insane by the time I am 30 if I am not a filmmaker or fantastically gorgeous (whichever comes first) but not Mercury. I wanted to do lots and lots and lots and lots of Whippets at the back of a Starbucks. That or join the DMV and REALLY fuck people over! Or maybe just kill myself and have outstanding students loans...FOREVER!!!! (Thanks for the idea Unclepumpkin!)
from gumphood :
I have also considered the life of crime. I think I could be good at it, however Kerbang thinks I would be caught. I said. Your are right kerbang, and then I killed him, and now I write his diary to make it seem like he's at work all the time, when he is in fact dead. I drowned him in his hottub while singing tiny budldagles analfgg naljdhtoi agarehng ua;otnaeb;;bntau/hnwg;/a
from gumphood :
We didn't choose, just like all things in life, he just showed up. Also, you didn't have a wolf T-shirt and we had to fill our animal shirt quota.
from sarika :
ooh, i've found another one. And due to the way the world works, it may indeed be too much to ask. x
from gumphood :
rate that person liking you hilarious diary. hahaha rate ti. rate tits. 10
from caprihype :
hey i think you are just funny and interesting, and i like your diary a lot. i added you to my favorites.
from kerbang :
cyclops isn't worthy to lick nightcrawler's butt. nightcrawler wins every time.
from gumphood :
Man I really liked that entry. I like the ten things you hated about high school, expect your lonelyness at the prom. That mad me sad. Right...mad me sad. I was so mad I was sad, that I beat up my date(s)
from dinguspie :
i changed my mind...my favorite entry is "who's that cat?" i knew all those kittens were being put to nefarious use
from dinguspie :
you know which entry of yours i liked the best? the one where the vampire moved away becasue the schools went to hell. now THAT'S comedy. ha! I still chuckle about htat. i even told my girlfriend about it. she told me that i was a loser. i concurred.
from gumphood :
♦ You ♥ Make ♣ dis ♠ to ♠ easy ♣ for ♥ Gambit ♦ .
from gumphood :
♠ Losing Ain't my style ♦
from anniewaits18 :
Dude, I forgot what I was going to say. Oh yeah, give me your Email so I can send you the treatment that will make you a STAR! A STAR I TELL YOU! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!. I love you.
from gumphood :
I fucken love this shit Dawg. See you tonight. I love your work. It makes mine look fake!
from kerbang :
i am calling too
from gumphood :
I am calling
from gumphood :
Dude. This Saturday. I will see if I can swing it. I know I had something. But This sounds good too. John will be down. Get him good and drunk for work on Sunday.
from anniewaits18 :
Dude. Hey, I'm sorry. I hope you're still not mad at me? (Please don't bite my head off)
from gumphood :
Yeah total LXG. Tuesday I think is good you working then? All star game this week so you will get the bad baseball players coming in and no fans. Thats pretty rockin. Yeah baby. Whats Saturday for you. I have drinking suggestion.
from anniewaits18 :
ooooh...I know what you're talking about too. Alliteration, right?
from kerbang :
in too deep to what? gambling? whores? the mafia?
from gumphood :
Best I can do: remeber when you talked about that author who wrote in such a way that you wanted to write like that but he was just much better. Like the way he wrote. It was kinda like that. He blew me away with his words and story is all. But I think it would be diffrent for diffrent people
from gumphood :
But I manage to explain it awefully.
from gumphood :
It hard to explain in note form.
from gumphood :
The book I was reading. It just went somewhere I didn't think it would go a few times
from gumphood :
What blew my mind was
from anniewaits18 :
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! I wanted to know what you had to say about 28 Days Later so me and my imaginary boyfriend could have something look forward to. Alas, this is what happens when you have green screen and a Commodore 64..you get bumped off all the fucking time. WHY GOD WHY!!!!!! (Cue Rain pouring on me, overhead shot, arms stretched out in wide eagle spread) WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
from anniewaits18 :
I'm bored. That's all I wanted to tell you. Btw, if I were to write a script, what kind of character would you want to play? My friend Wilbur wants to be a gay guy of sorts...maybe I should write a script where both of you are lovers...hmmm... he's a "hot" buff asian guy. That might work.....hmmm....... I'm still bored.
from gumphood :
You know; I didn't tell you last night, but I really like the way your hair looked. This sounds so gay. *giggle* oh god
from kerbang :
no i'll take the steak too. haha. dude i am scared to go in your basement now.
from gumphood :
I concur...I will take the steak.
from kerbang :
hey man, anytime. best way to repay me, make sure we hang out with amanda again soon. damn she's hot.
from nateboxley :
Hey man. Whats your story. ... You are the only one who didn't update on my list.
from gumphood :
thanks
from lambrini :
hi, awesome diary. funny how being drunk doesnt affect typin innit. gem x
from mondocurio :
you want crazy people? come to my neighborhood... I especially like the old tall guy walking around in a suit and tie(he looks like a giant)long white beard carting around books and talking to himself and yealling at people. He's a good time.
from gumphood :
I liked that entry alot. Make sure you check out the scanzilla insanity. See my latest entry for details. It should make you laugh, and if not, you are inhuman. Talk to you soon bro. Have a good weekend
from anniewaits18 :
unclepumpkin sucks at basketball. unclepumpkin is not really an uncle. unclepumpkin is not a pumpkin...what the hell is going on here?!!!
from gumphood :
Abre La Boca. Misa Coming inside
from drunklazy :
What the hell is X2? I don't remember an X1, or X, or whatever... I dislike this film already.
from gumphood :
X-2 sucks. Sucks my soul because its that good. I wish I could give my sould to that movie.
from gumphood :
Like "jacked in the but From DMX" Thanks for opening the notes. Where are you. Call me. Kerbang is gone all week so we gotz hang it out there. I bea hea all da tyme @ mi crib 4-eva, gr8t.
from anniewaits18 :
After reading the few entries that you have written, I have to ask...are you the "hot guy" who works at the Cheesecake Factory? Not that I'm looking or anything, just heard from Kerbang and Gumphood that you (if I'm thinking that you are the person I was thinking) were "jacked" But over in the West Coast that means "ripped" Ah-hahaha. Jacked here means you're fucked (and not in a good way)

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