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I clearly haven't been visiting you enough either. And you did come see me a few times at SS! That was much appreciated. I miss it, I do. I hope that the new job is going well for you, and that mine will for me. Hugs, and warm thoughts. :)

from ahopeinhell :

Existing spends energy. Resting metabolism, all that. Dot dot dot.

from ahopeinhell :

Meow? I miss you, M. I hope you're doing well.

from raven72d :

found this diary just randomly looking at D-Land sites... But the entries are really compelling. Good writing.

from hissings :

changed username/password username: wannabe password: sedated xheartx, the bastard demon-child of Joni Mitchell and Kurt Cobain :P

from hissings :

username: shrinking password: violet thank you for your desire to read! xoxoh

from castigated :

this diary is very old, and not used for good reasons. quite ironic that you bring it up, actually. i plan to call you soon; i haven't had a free moment recently, though. i assume you'd like to talk for more than 30 seconds, followed by me saying that i have to go.

from losercreep :

"This server could not verify that you are authorized to access the document requested. Either you supplied the wrong credentials (e.g., bad password), or your browser doesn't understand how to supply the credentials required." sad.

from missfickles :

Thanks for joining the bisexual diaryring! -MF-

from bleedtears :

this was me. i don't live here anymore. better is as better does, right? but i smoke too much.

from misfitdork :

i never asked. what did you get done that whole three months in hospital? are you seeing anyone? do you have any support? do you have things to look forward to? cuz i dont. they think they help but even if youve got things to do/people to see, they all fall apart.. in my case they did anyways. point of the story is that i really miss you and hope you'll be Ok. [me=hypocrite] wow im really really fucked up. and i wish i had enough guts to show you.. (so many levels) oh goodness. i love you. <3

from misfitdork :

i love you.

from misfitdork :

leaving traces of myself everywhere. hoping to see you. someday. when youre ready. im open. come on in. i actually dont feel i exist [without you] and even then.. im afraid i've lost you. for good. come out come out wherever you are.. youre always on my mind. and i dont know how often i check for updates. but i think ive lost you. and ive definitely lost myself. want to help put the puzzle back together?

from missy-17 :

hey, whats been going on??

from missy-17 :

ha ha thanx!! hey umm do you have hotmail or somethin, cause i do and maybe we can chat???or anything else that has "chatting" on it?

from missy-17 :

well whatever the hell!

from misfitdork :

i liked that entry.. it made me feel not so crazy... made me feel that maybe all the things ive been thinking, you've been thinking too.. i woke up to my mother putting me in the car to take me to a 'follow-up appointment' with [name] and ya. im awake/alive/waiting to see you.

from misfitdork :

whats this "black eye experiment" ?? i miss...

from missy-17 :

hey i dont know you but it would be nice to!!!

from dragonflycry :

i only just realized, that i'm going to miss you. I'm still feeling like i barely know you. please don't forget about me.

from misfitdork :

no maybes please.. come back ...for me? [dont worry; im not worth it] i went for a week with my dad.. i think you can do this.. i think you'll have to. on another note, dyou realize how annoying it is to spell 'unknown'??

from dragonflycry :

I don't remember when you leave, but i just wanted to say i got here ok. And i won't get too attached, i promise. If you're not leaving before Friday i might see you(we'll be back friday night...ya...) I love you, i hope you're doing ok.*hug*

from dragonflycry :

Good. I saw him going and figured i might as well not. I really wanted to do it though:( Call me tomorrow, and if places are closed i do need to go shopping someday really soon(before friday).I'm glad you came today, you always seem to make me go a little less crazy.

from wacked :

cut away clear away snip away and sever this umbilical residue that's keeping me from killing you and from pulling you down with me here i can almost hear you scream give me one more medicated peaceful moment

from kiddo18 :

the second song i ever heard by postal service was district sleeps alone tonight. it was wonderful, i loved it so much and wanted more and more and more. as a result, i hate every other postal service song. [slash, not such great heights because it was the first i ever heard.] i love that song. vodka can't talk.

from kiddo18 :

.emit.time .trap ffej eht ot nemha

from misfitdork :

i hope im not getting you to where you are now.. i feel like im draggin you down.. so many things i want to say to you.. i thought a lot about what louanna said.. i didnt fully understand what you meant at first.. thats insulting... i love you

from dragonflycry :

I'm worried about you, give me a call if you need anything.

from kiddo18 :

what are you piercing?

from misfitdork :

can i come to smoke signals for similar reasons? /i want to do some shopping of the sort some time.

from wacked :

I know what scared you the most. Being Alone, Just like them, Being Alive, Feeling so... DEAD.

from misfitdork :

pretending that i can get something across through text.. [msgs, notes, etc.] feeling too shy to call.. to afraid.. that i'll say all the wrong things.. its so much nicer to look in your eyes.. it makes me feel truthful and real and everything.. i am.. and can be.. for you? -von

from dragonflycry :

I'm sorry...please don't let my crappy sleeping prevent you from calling me. I wish you would come to me when something goes wrong.On thursday we'll do something really fun,something to remind you that you are real. and i'm not going anywhere.

from misfitdork :

i've always thought you were real.. correction: i think you are real. ive several letters to give you.. please dont go away.. dont change..

from dragonflycry :

I'm worried about you. Call me if you need anything, i hoped talking to me helped a tiny bit. If you want a hug, all you have to do is ask.

from misfitdork :

dont do anything stupid [i didnt mean that] dont do anything i wouldnt do.. wait im sure i would do it too.. just dont do anything to make my return more painful than i anticipate.. i love and miss you.. [i look tired? i mean i LOOk tired? physically? or just... lifey??] hang in there cutie, just until i can get my hands on you - von [such a creep]

from theeverafter :

hey. i don't have a phone right now, and my internet is being sporatic. wanna hang out sometime, though? if you send me an email, i should get it within 48 hours. let me know when you're free.

from dragonflycry :

you told me to call, but i'm scared to. It's late. i miss you and i barely even know you. i'm thinking about hanging out with you, it's distracting me. i love you. if you don't leave me, i won't leave you. I promise.

from misfitdork :

you. k. hi. 1 - i havent seen you in a while [or so it seems] 2 - i DEFINTELY do that whispering of the name thing.. god dammit, i do it and it freaks me out.. 3 - depersonalization disorder.. hmm.. [why do i always think youre (worse) and sometimes i think you think that of me?] 4 - im hearing things lately.. that im not quite sure are there.................. 5 - i need you... i miss you lots michelle.. first two days of summer school are DONE, woot! at least i have chan's company..

from upchuck :

I hate the sex in commercials more than the sex on tv. What do cell phones have to do sex? (Except for maybe the vibrator.) Anyways. 382 Second Av. is my address. You have my cell number. End communication.

from misfitdork :

wendi.. i've done it again.. twice now though.. not long just gross enough to be 'very intense'.. and why do i expect you to care? [this is going to turn into an entry in itself] point is i think i should really write you some more letters/notes/things cuz it seem to allow some clarity as to .. ah screw it.. *-ve-vi-vo-von

from wacked :

what's your old eljay [shudders at the name]

from misfitdork :

i would hate to use names so im going to guess this is who i think it is.. i dont know why but i think about you a lot.. things seem very familiar.. and i really ..see where you coming from.. for some reason it reminds me of me? i dont know. i wish i knew you better cuz then id have a reason to feel for you as much as i do.. -von

from wacked :

No one but me can save myself, but it�s too late Now I can�t think, think why I should even try Yesterday seems as though it never existed Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

from upchuck :

I forgot to tell you something. [email protected] when you get a chance. I use [email protected] for MSN.

from wacked :

I will form a spike [to drive through my throat] in order to stop my words this time I'll put them in the ground along with my Memories and my feelings. I'll burn it down and walk away. Let the fire warm my back.

from kiddo18 :

*sentEnce **grammAr "Its the pain, and the blood, and the thought that the groups and the scumbags aren't bleeding quickly." have fun with that. and i like your mom's bitchy reasoning. though you're right with the whole society thing being unnerved and unaccepting, she'd definitely win that argument logic-wise one on one. i don't understand the concept of time. and the concept of you not wanting to go to mainstage with my family. turns out my dad's not even coming, just my mom and brother. hey, hi michelle.

from unknowntome :

of course. only the grammer. "Its the [noun], and the [noun], and the thought that the [plr noun] and the [plr noun] aren't [adj][adv]." is what I meant to say, I think.

from losercreep :

that sentance couldn't be grammatically correct. it probably should be: "...[noun] aren't [adv][adj]." or it could be "...[noun] aren't [adj] and [adj]." cuz, you know, the grammatical flaw was obviously the most important part of the entry....

from upchuck :

By the same token, you get addicted to the routine and the things you make yourself do.

from wacked :

the testaments a bloody knife the rotting meats the butcher's wife i eat myself stupid i starve myself smart i thought she was a crow cuz she cried tomorrow

from at-the-core :

I want you to know that if you leave, in any shape or form, we will miss you. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow.

from kiddo18 :

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! they didn't work [ 's]

from kiddo18 :

lea's fucking awesome. does html work in this? if not i'll just take the chance of seeming dumb. heh, heh heh? yes, lea is fucking awesome i just felt like pointing that out. another thing i feel like pointing out is that you wrote that entry two days ago and were like "i'll write better tomorrow" which was yesterday, which you didn't. NOT THAT THAT IS A BAD THING, I THINK THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME BECAUSE I DO THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME! acceber.

from upchuck :

Yes, I know. I tried to say something like "It's going well, at least well enough." But it didn't come out right.

from unknowntome :

ididn't mean to. I like it

from upchuck :

I dunno if you meant to do this, but if you didn't, "fingerprints alover you" is the wickedest typo ever. As far as humans go, sometimes it's nice to know you have something to lean on.

from wacked :

guidance can do something. talk to me sometime.

from kiddo18 :

"one day you'll just wake up and you'll realize 'hey, i haven't been depressed in a really long time' and then you grow up!" -Jade i had no fucking clue she was right.

from upchuck :

I have a lot I want to say to you. In the good way, not the "I'm hiding what I really think of you" way. Try not to go crazy at work tomorrow.

from upchuck :

I'm worried about you. Life can't be a game, because in a game you can cheat, you know the other players, and "passing go" to complete the next cycle is a good thing cuz you get rewarded. The important thing is that you remember a number of people care about you, and think you're awesome. I know it's a mental issue, but at some point it becomes physical, in which case watery foods, fruits and vegetables, things like apples or baby carrots, help you feel hungry at those times where you know you're hungry but feel like you can't eat, it gets your body digesting food instead of itself, which makes it feel hungry cuz it's not constantly digesting something anymore. It feeds off the food instead of itself, so then it goes looking for more food, and you feel more hungry. Sorry this was random, I'll leave you alone now.

from losercreep :

you would if you really knew me

from upchuck :

I definetly have wondered that as well.

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