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Awwwwwwwwww, thank you for that note. It's nice to know someone's reading and actually getting something out of my diary. There are a lot of people that just don't give a crap. I'm hopeful things are getting better. It's going to take some more time, but it might actually happen. Hope your life is more boring than anything. =D

from idontpretend :

Then do it! Weeeeeeeeeee!!!

from idontpretend :

Amen sista'.

from idontpretend :

Trust me, it's true. =]

from idontpretend :

Awwww, you're right. Don't compare yourself to them. Just because they have material things or a relationship or whatever, just because they APPEAR to have a better life than you on the outside, doesn't mean they do. They might be rather miserable and unhappy and put on a front to hide it. Material possessions are worthless. And relationships aren't always healthy. Be happy with yourself and what you have. If you want something, go for it. But don't sacrifice everything you believe in for it. That only makes it empty, hollow, and worthless.....Do I always ramble this much? o.O

from idontpretend :

Yeh, I know. There's always gonna be someone out there that's so outraged they'll go to extreme measures to "fix" things. Like assaassination. I just couldn't believe that any of my friends would go off and talk about how he was gonna be dead soon. Not that she was talking about doing it herself, but she was so callous about it. I was shocked any of my friends would react so angrily, but not surprised people feel that way. Blah, I dunno. The people I've voted for have lost before, and I've never reacted like that.

from idontpretend :

Yeah, too bad a lot of people don't feel the same way. I mean, I've heard people talking about how Obama is going to be dead soon enough. How sick is that? The guy might not be perfect, but hopefully he means it when he talks about the changes he wants to make happen for the country. He seems sincere enough in wanting good things for everyone, and not just the rich and wealthy.

from idontpretend :

I had no idea you made your own costumes. That's pretty nifty. =D

from idontpretend :

Sounds like a nice place. I like the pics.

from idontpretend :

Anytime. =D

from idontpretend :

That's right! Don't take any wooden nickels!! And have I ever told you when I'm reading your diary, how cool it is how it fades to your profile when I go to leave a note?

from idontpretend :

Uh.....I'm pretty sure those are all requirements of any living being. I could be wrong though...

from idontpretend :

Awwww, how ya doin'? Everything ok?

from idontpretend :

Amen sista'.

from idontpretend :

Awwwww, that note you left was really sweet. I wish I had more friends like you in real life. I only have a couple here. Everyone else is far, far away. I'm glad I have so many friends, it just sucks that most of them are somewhere else. Family's suck sometimes. They really do. It took me a long time to figure out just how effed up mine is, and that it wasn't all me. Now I just gotta get the hell out of here...You ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. =]

from idontpretend :

Red ceramic elephant wha? :o And of course you'll be enough for someone someday. xP

from idontpretend :

Lol, maybe the fact that you think it's more fun to get dressed in front of a window instead of a mirror? :D You do realize you're a total cutie right? I'm sure you attract a lot of attention by doing that.. xD And I'll try to slow down on the comments. If you slow down on the entries. ;)

from idontpretend :

Lmfao

from idontpretend :

Lol, how can you have such a hard time keeping up? I only leave you notes when you make an entry! :o

from idontpretend :

I'm so proud of you with the capital letters and ls and stuff!!...

from idontpretend :

lol, ur too damn cute

from idontpretend :

THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!

from idontpretend :

in one of your entries, you said you ate ice cream sammiches and they gave you a tummy ache. :o

from idontpretend :

Lmao, then maybe you shouldn't eat ice cream sammiches. :x /pat

from idontpretend :

haha, a tiara. that's cute.

from raven72d :

You're a new find--- and intriguing to read.

from idontpretend :

I'm sure they don't hate you. We all fall down once in awhile. Just look at me.

from idontpretend :

Sleep works pretty well.

from idontpretend :

lol, blonde can be fun

from idontpretend :

Always. *hugs* xD

from idontpretend :

Hehe, that works. I'm starting off small too. Really, really small...like, say, food and shelter. And I'll work my way up from there. :o

from idontpretend :

Ummmmmmmmmm, a new girl, a new, kick-ass computer, a new car, a new job, a new life. Think you can help me out with any of that? :D

from idontpretend :

I guess it's a good thing it doesn't hurt anymore?

from idontpretend :

Everything ok?

from idontpretend :

Haha, you don't want to see my wishlist.

from idontpretend :

Sometimes it's necessary to go through hell, and find out who your real friends are, and discover how strong you really are.

from idontpretend :

Gawd, that sucks. I'm sorry. It seems like it's so freaking hard to just find someone to talk to and spend time with. Let alone fall in love with. I'm so not looking for anything anytime soon. If something happens unexpectedly, then great. But I don't plan on being with anyone for awhile....

from idontpretend :

If you think you've found someone to help pick up the pieces, then I hope you have.

from idontpretend :

What makes it worse, is that this is my second serious relationship in a row. Went from being married, into getting involved with a woman that I would end up being engaged to, which is NOT something I do lightly, getting engaged. So it was like this huge double whammy, when she left me, and then strung me along. :(

from shoot-down :

[email protected] :)

from idontpretend :

Yeah, what good are friends that don't know how to be a friend?

from shoot-down :

i'm glad, thankyou. do you have aim/msn? also, i'm coming to st john. april 24th i'll be at the syracuse me show (my friend's band) and probably staying at his apt for a few days.

from shoot-down :

i want to...i do often but idk...i think you know why/why not

from idontpretend :

:o What happened?

from idontpretend :

Woohoo! I like pics. :D

from idontpretend :

Ohhhhhhhhh, I like the fade effect thing. :o And that's a pretty dress. Is that just a pic of the dress, or is that a pic of you in the dress? :o

from shoot-down :

baby, i'm here.

from idontpretend :

Hey, I'm always willing to talk, or even just listen.

from idontpretend :

What you need is someone to sit down with you and walk you through whatever it is that's giving you problems in math. I taught my brother 3 months worth of Geometry in 3 days, because he was so far behind, and he finished with a B or something. You just need someone that's going to have the patience and desire to spend the time to help you figure it out. Wish I could help. I seem to be pretty good at teaching stuff like that.

from idontpretend :

What happened? That's a good question. :o

from idontpretend :

Yeah, sometimes we just need a break from everything. And stressing about things that you can't change doesn't do much good. It's good to be concerned, and do what you can to change what you can, but if it's beyond your control, then roll with it the best you can. Sometimes you'd be surprised what you CAN change though.

from idontpretend :

Yeah, one thing I've learned from I Don't Pretend, is that it really helps putting your thoughts down where you can read them later on, and remember what it was you were going through, and even gain new insights into things that have happened to you. It's been a life saver for me. :) And I'm glad you're making new friends, and forging a new life for yourself. :D

from idontpretend :

:) Thinkin' about ya.

from idontpretend :

I'm sorry you hurt so much. I'm sorry you cry so much. I know exactly what you're going through. I wish I had the words to make it better. I wish I had the words to give you hope. You can only suffer through it, and hold on until you've come out the other side. In the end, you will be stronger for it. In the end, you will be ok. I know how impossible it is to see that, and I know how much you hate hearing that. Hang in there, we're rootin' for ya.

from herdarlinsin :

Hon, you are not the entity of hate & depression & lonliness. If anything Im sure its the epitome of everything you dont want to be. Sometimes depression comes with a lingering we cant define. It takes over and slowly becomes this unknown obsession intertiwned with hate and loneliness. You're not in a forever state of what you think you are. I'm not either. I'm also going through a break-up. Its very hard when you know how much you loved that one person, and try to forge ahead trying to find hope as you move on. Someone said to me not too long ago, ("Let go or be dragged" is my motto. When you're ready to let go, there will be tremendous freedom in no longer being dragged.) I'm sure this person is right, but we have to take our own speed and take baby steps in most cases. You will be fine. I'm sure of it.

from idontpretend :

She wasn't my first love, but she was, perhaps, my greatest love. You WILL find love again. And love is never the same way twice. I fear that I will never find a love anything like what I had with her, but who knows. It could happen. I can only move on and live my life with the hope that I may find love again.

from idontpretend :

Gawd, I hear you. I WOULD give her one more chance, but it would be a long, hard road for her, in terms of winning my trust back. Assuming she'd ever care enough to want to come back, I really don't think she'd be strong enough to do what she would need to do, to make it possible for me to trust her again. So it probably wouldn't even matter. Sigh. But yeah, I'd have to take that one last chance, otherwise I'd regret not taking that chance, and wonder for the rest of my life, what if we could've worked things out? :(

from idontpretend :

I know, people have told me something like that before. Sigh. The problem is that I tend to be the forgiving type. Especially when I know the things that she's been through, and how they've affected her as a person. Sigh. My forgiveness is not unlimited, and she is very near the limits of my ability to forgive her. But I still could. If she were to change her mind, I would, in all likely hood, give her one last chance to prove herself. I mean, that's all I wanted from her, was one last, honest chance to make our relationship work. Sigh.

from idontpretend :

*lights a zippo and starts singing koom-bya*

from idontpretend :

Oh geez, I feel much the same way. :( I feel so empty and alone now. Even when I'm surrounded by family, they can't replace her or fill the hole in my heart. I struggle everyday with her absence, trying to just find myself again. Trying to remember who I am, when I have noone in my life that completes me so. As much as I hate being single, I can't stand the thought of being in a relationship with someone else right now. I'll date, I'll see new people, but I seriously doubt anything serious will develop for a long time to come. It hurts, alot, and I feel so empty. I can't even pretend to be happy. But I make it through each day, somehow, in spite of the hurt and loneliness, in the hopes that SOMEDAY, I'll find someone new to love, that will love me in return, the way that she was unable to. :'(

from un-leashed :

i can hear your crying. 'cause i do it all the time. trust - hope IS out there.

from sporadick :

When I was your age I was in a similar position I sat with my Mum and told her of my intentions to kill myself. She cried and I realised how that I did mean something to someone. Sure it was my Mum but I was loved. That was 15 years ago and I'm still here and today I'm loved by more than just my Mum. What you're going through no one will ever truly understand but talk to someone face to face and you'll see by their reaction what you truly mean to them. Get ready to hurt, sob and feel lower than you ever have but you'll come through and be one of the strongest people in the world for it. If you ever want to talk drop me a line.

from un-leashed :

just read your latest entry. i know how you feel. you're not alone.

from shoot-down :

i have the best boyfriend in the world, but the ocean has separated us for five months now. i want to be so much more than alive, or dead, and to just be skin and bones is more than anything i could wish for.

from sorceress-7 :

"I know myself that if I spend too much time alone, I'll begin to think up things that are not true". that part reminds me of myself.

from xseverity :

you are very pretty, dear. just thought id let you know, in case you dont hear it very often. :)

from anonymousrex :

Thanks for the linkage...I enjoy your thoughts very much...keep "being."

from aurian :

we get over that voting thing in australia by making it compulsory for everyone to vote. heh. but even then we get stuck with people like john howard who just brown nose to george bush over in the states there. i guess one thing's for sure..we can only blame ourselves :p

from aurian :

i'm so glad you were able to move on from that. sure, it's not always easy, but i think you're incredibly strong for being in the place you are now, for being able to look back and say 'i've changed'.

from poetic-kiss :

thankyou for adding me. your name is inspiring and intriguing. love, rainy ♥ ♥ ♥

from tornnbroken :

:) Thanks for adding me. <3

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