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I'd love to follow you to the new site! I'm pretty sure you know my Wordpress username so I think if you add me to the approved readers list it will notify me...if not I'll email you. Happy new year! Wishing you all the best :)

from hibiscus101 :

giant massive hug hope your trip to Germany is safe and allows your head to clear. New chapter girlie! new new new! YAY! :)

from sexyatheist :

i'm so sorry my friend. i know that doesn't help right now, but know that i'm thinking about you.

from sexyatheist :

thank you! for your kind words about my case dismissal and well wishes for this new moving in thing. so far so good, but it's only been a week so who knows what will happen!

from hibiscus101 :

wow. just, wow. hugs to you and a dash of clarity :) i certainly know how the confliction can feel.

from sexyatheist :

i know I'm late in this, because you wrote about it awhile ago, but i wondered about getting it all in one person for awhile too. for me it was about emotional passion and logical and responsible capabilities in one person. give up passion for stability, or stability for passion. but my new partner really does have both of those things. he's far from perfect but he meets my paper requirements and there's a lot of passion there. i don't think you should ever settle. i think we have to make compromises in every relationship but to me that's very different from settling. that's just my thoughts on it. it's a tough situation, i know. good luck.

from blazingstar :

Happy new year! Hope you had a nice vacation in there somewhere. I always like the entries where you look back at your resolutions from the previous year. Hint hint...update, please! :)

from hibiscus101 :

oi! that is completely awkward!

from sexyatheist :

oh man, i know how that situation feels. it kind of sucks but it sounds like you've got it handled. i hope it doesn't get too weird in the future!

from sexyatheist :

i'm really glad the distance is getting easier for you. and that you're feeling more comfortable with the situation. now i plan on reading that book!

from hibiscus101 :

thanks so much!! it was a long ass journey but I'm insanely happy about it

from sexyatheist :

congratulations on passing your qualifying exam! that is awesome honey, i too am happy luck (with some help from hard work!) is finally swinging your way.

from blazingstar :

Ugh, I completely empathize with you on the stress of going long-distance. I used to get so annoyed about scheduling phone calls -- in my case it was usually me getting irrationally pissed off that he'd probably been home from work for X amount of time and hadn't called me yet. It sucks to be forced into that situation. All I can say (and I know this is not very helpful) is that despite the stress, it does get easier as you work out a rhythm, and you never know -- sometimes the biggest challenges end up bringing you closer. He might be miserable, quit his job, and move back. Or you might get to a point in your program where you can do the last year or two mostly off-campus, just coming back for the occasional meeting...I know a bunch of people who have worked out things like that, especially in PhD programs. Or, you know, my college boyfriend and I were long-distance for four mostly happy years, and then immediately after we moved to the same city expecting to stay together forever...I dumped him. I guess I always just keep that in mind now, that distance doesn't necessarily destroy things (as much as it sucks), and on the flip side, glued-to-the-hip couples break up unexpectedly all the time. I know this is not particularly helpful for you right now -- all you want is for him to be there with you, and it's not fair that he's not. Hang in there. I'm rooting for ya.

from comebacktome :

Alas no, that is usually me actually *sheepish face*

from comebacktome :

Thank you for your note! Can i pretty please have a password?? I would love to read your stuff :) (if you leave it on my wall I will delete it straight away, promises)

from sexyatheist :

i can identify with so much of what you wrote in your last entry. especially the part about interacting with the faculty without experiencing an emotional meltdown. i still have trouble with that and it's been 2 months since my situation. i think your current plan is a good one to just enjoy yourself now, take classes in the spring, and then see how you feel. and honestly, i'm available any time. you don't even live that far, i'd happily drive up for lunch some time. what you're going through is terrible and i wish there was more i could do to help. but for now, enjoy Vegas!

from sexyatheist :

okay, so no scholarship. that sucks. but, if you're still able to stay in school, it's manageable. let me know if there is anything i can help you with. i've been there, i'm there now and i am happy to talk to you if you need someone to vent to.

from sexyatheist :

i'm really sorry about what you're going through with school. i am right there with you, worrying about being kicked out of grad school. not knowing is almost worse than getting kicked out. good luck in talking to your adviser and my fingers are crossed that it will all turn out well!

from sexyatheist :

i just sent it! let me know if for some reason it doesn't get to you.

from blazingstar :

I'm so sorry you had to go through that load of crap over the sexism comments. The truth is I really doubt there's any real consequence they COULD give you, but administrators really tend to enjoy getting up on their high horses and feeling like they're keeping everyone "in line" or whatever. Ugh. Mainly I can't believe someone would actually CARE about what you wrote (other than agreeing with it and wanting to thank you for telling it like it is), so I'm guessing the dude felt scared because of how right you were. People suck. Glad you get to get away for a bit!

from sexyatheist :

situations like that are so frustrating. i hope it turned out okay and i'm sorry you have to deal with this.

from blazingstar :

Also! Forgot to tell you I think your hotmail account was hacked. I've started getting spammy emails from it. Hope you can still log into it and change the password or something...

from blazingstar :

Wow...your descriptions of what your boyfriend sounds like when he's stressed/depressed remind me so much of my boyfriend...so I totally hear you on how hard it is to hear stuff like "I never should have made X decision 5 years ago" -- I'm constantly trying to remind Eric that at every point in his life when he's had to make a big decision, he's always made the best choice possible for that time. To me there's no point in ruminating and regretting past decisions. It's counter-productive. Plus I think it's a personality thing...I know even if Eric hadn't taken a certain job or done a particular grad program, he'd be finding something else to get down on himself about. And yes, it's hard for me not to take it personally when he says he never should have gone to grad school where he and I met... I think you're doing exactly the right thing staying positive as much as possible, but also calling him out when he's being ridiculous or acting like he's the only one with stressful things going on.

from sexyatheist :

thank you!

from sexyatheist :

congrats on passing your qualifying exam! that's so awesome

from sexyatheist :

your trips sound awesome! and just an FYI about Vegas over new years, it gets CRAZY packed so my suggestion is to have a specific place or party planned and just go there. if you try to walk around too much, you'll get stuck in people traffic and not really get anywhere.

from blazingstar :

I'm glad you understand what I was talking about with the I/we thing! I felt like I wasn't explaining it well at all. I totally understand what YOU'RE feeling about losing touch with close friends, being reduced to small talk during rare meetups. My college roommates and I have superficial chats every now and then but we don't confide in each other anymore. It's sad. I guess it's inevitable for friendships to wax and wane, especially when big circumstances (like location) change, but it's still sad.

from blazingstar :

Wow, I just read about your doctor... I can't BELIEVE that. That woman should not be allowed to interact with patients. EVER. And...maybe she could be right to suggest counseling? But honestly a good gynecologist has seen every issue under the sun and would know how to handle you appropriately and talk to you COMPASSIONATELY. For one thing lots of people have issues that cause serious physical pain, which LEADS to emotional trauma. So maybe there's a physical issue that the right doctor would delicately assess, without even doing anything internal. So 1) the dr. was wrong to assume your problem is psychological without knowing anything about you, and 2) even if it IS psychological, she only made things worse by berating and belittling you! This kind of bullshit makes me so furious. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

from sexyatheist :

if it is serious depression, it doesn't matter that he knows people are trying to contact him. he still won't call. i hope that's not the case but i also hope he's not ignoring you. and i hope you somehow get to see him when you're home. and finally, congrats on being one year done!

from sexyatheist :

thanks! it was retarded stressful but at least it's over!

from sexyatheist :

happy birthday!

from sexyatheist :

preach on sister. stupid brats

from sexyatheist :

my best advice is just to be honest. if right now you don't want to be in a relationship, i think it's best for you and for them if you're just honest about that. then they can decide whether they want to stick around and wait until you're ready. you're so awesome, that this might make them very sad but in the long run it's better for everyone involved if they know where you stand.

from sexyatheist :

maybe it's weird that i am super proud and excited for you. but i am super proud that you overcame this and SO excited for you!

from sexyatheist :

bing travel is a great site for flights, i use it all of the time. it has this cool price predictor thing that tells you if you should wait or not.

from sexyatheist :

i'm just now catching up so wanted to throw out there that i didn't visit or check out my apt. before moving down here. i just came. so i don't think it's all that weird at all.

from hibiscus101 :

locked up? :(

from sexyatheist :

happy birthday!

from sexyatheist :

congratulations! that is so awesome and exciting!

from sexyatheist :

where in texas are you going to be? i'm about an hour outside houston

from sexyatheist :

please. i still complain about my situation all of the time. and when it first happened, it was shitty for a long time. but eventually we both decided that we wanted to be together enough to deal with the distance. which sometimes is really hard and sometimes, surprisingly easy. but both people have to really want it. the whole process is a tough thing to go through and having just been there, feel free to talk to me about it any time. i know exactly what you are going through.

from sexyatheist :

but hey, at least you won it all last year. that definitely helped soothe me after we won it a few years ago. still sucks though and yes, the offseason is SO long. boo

from sexyatheist :

thank you. and for the hug especially. even online hugs are still pretty damn awesome.

from wtng4lezlie :

The only diary to make yellow tolerable..

from blazingstar :

Hey, I tried sending the password to your Diaryland address and it bounced back saying it the email couldn't be delivered. Do you want to try emailing me at noworries121 @ yahoo?

from achmardi :

Happy birthday!

from rumblelizard :

Thanks for your good luck wishes Wrapped! :)

from hibiscus101 :

awww hun. big big hugs for you. im so sorry.

from rumblelizard :

Aw, thanks for the sweet note, Wrapped! I didn't see it for a while because I turned off my D-land notifications...I was getting too much spam. So, thank you, and yes I'm feeling much better! :)

from omniscia :

Hey there. I recently just stumbled across your diary and added it to my "favorites" list. I really love your narratives. Even though I don't know you from Adam, even just the few entries I've read were very surprisingly relatable. (If you're ever incredibly bored enough to read my diary, you should know that I had a ton of entries that I deleted when I suddenly realized the gravity of shit I confessed on here and became freaked out. But I'm trying to get back into the habit of purging anonymously online, and convince myself that it's ok to do so...) I have a shitty relationship with my mother too, and I made the decision last November (at age 26) to finally cut off communication with her. It's sad when I think that it came to that, but freeing at the same time. But of course, I don't have younger siblings to worry about like you. I also don't have female friends since I moved here (Maryland), but I get my fix of them through chick-lit too. Marian Keyes is my favorite, an Irish writer. She blends comedy and drama so perfectly. Definitely recommend! Anyway, I'm glad you're doing well and that you are happier. I'm enjoying your entries! Take care. --Keri in MD

from hibiscus101 :

oh thats so sad, life without fried dough. the ones we had last night were far too large but soooo tasty. if i could send it to you and it would taste good i totally would! :)

from karbonphyber :

interesting, what a day.

from hibiscus101 :

absolutly love it! so frikkin good.

from hibiscus101 :

aww yay for you! it'd be nice to get a boy around i could stand enough for those fun beginings. at the moment i'm only find irritating ones. :)

from hibiscus101 :

OH OH OH! Sociology is super interesting. it's definitly a cool course to take. Wait! Your a math geek! thats my next class and I'm dreading it because numbers are not my thing. writing im good at. takign notes i rock. numbers not so much. i may be hitting you up for number help! heehee. glad to see your new year is going so well.

from impervial :

interesting read, and i am like that with smallville. same day, different time. and i love your stuff.

from hibiscus101 :

thank you!:)

from hibiscus101 :

aww thanks*blush* thats what it was! I knew it started with a U but that was all I could remember in this head of mine. :) have a great day, doll!

from hibiscus101 :

ive been drooling over Clive since Closer came out. yum yum yum.

from hibiscus101 :

omg! Grey's Anatomy gushing moment: Did you not want to just give George the biggest hug ever. poor guy :(

from hibiscus101 :

hey atleast i know someone can relate. *sigh* it'll work out for the best eventually right? i hope. *laughs* big ole hug for you for going through the same thing.

from rumblelizard :

Hey there, I locked my diary. I'm contacting everyone who listed me as a favorite and letting them know. If you would like to continue reading, email me at rumblelizard AT hotmail DOT com, and I'll get you hooked up. If you've already done so, good on ya, and don't be a stranger!

from hibiscus101 :

YAH DUDE! I'M OBSESSED WITH IT~;)

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