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I say go for the therapy. It does help when you don't know how to put things into practice that will help. They have tools that will assist you. Hell we are having to go through it with the niece. So I say make it happen.

from minstrelite :

Hi - I clicked on 'zania' because I've used that "word" before a combination of 'mania' and 'zany' to apply to myself, so it got me curious. Then I read your last three entries, and just wanted to say that my daughter and your newborn son have the same birthday. Also, I think yeah -- God is probably in the process of making your bf into a better man. Good luck to you, and congratulations.

from lostasyou :

feel better :) x

from horndog69 :

It's okay to feel that way sweetie. Us strong women go through that point at some point in our lives. I know you don't want to hear it will be better in the future so I won't say that. Go someplace quiet locked the door and just cry it out. I would rub your feet for you if I were there. I sorry your going through it. We love you over here!

from horndog69 :

Your dreams are just trying to sort out all the details that your waking mind could not handle. It is sorting through all of the suscipions that you had but didn't give voice to. It doesn't help that your hormones are all over the place. Sometimes your mind knows how to deal with situations better than you do. :)

from horndog69 :

Yay April! Get your passion back. It's in there. I personally think you should read my story and be my co author on my series. We would be awesome!

from horndog69 :

God may be trying to tell you something. You just gotta listen. I believe me I know its hard but you will get through this and be better for it. Know that we love you. Oh and Liz said you are always her girl. :)

from goldenboy :

Thanks you are one who does understand... Too bad we can't just run away together lol jk really :)

from goldenboy :

It sounds sad but you probably care more then most, even my wife... Well especially my wife I doubt she even likes me. All these years and we have never even met. I could use a friend right now but anyone who can be there for me does not care. I know if you could you would and it means alot really. If only my wife was as nice as you. If she only knew how easy it would be to make things right... Just listen and care. Guess that's just to much to ask of some people.

from goldenboy :

hi there

from elliestuff :

some days it just gets harder and harder to get up. yeah, i stay tired too.

from goldenboy :

Just wanted to stop by and say hi... its been a while, i miss talking to you. You should IM me sometime so we can catch up.

from meek-rage :

You're totally cute. I'm feeling this diary.

from horndog69 :

just do you. Forget about the guys for now. Did you ever finish that short story?

from ivyparker :

awesome layout to go with your amazing writing.

from horndog69 :

uh duh. you can't run away to Japan and not take me. COW!

from prapdri :

hello my friend how are you? you should call me because i miss talking to you!

from horndog69 :

Hey April. sorry for what happened and that you are feeling that way. trust me you know i dont care how much i annoy you. you aren't going to ignore me. you are my sister. me and you will never part, cecily. Nothing but death will keep you from me. Love ya, Ying.

from prapdri :

ummm... i would call tonight but my dumb ass lost for number... if you get this call me at 307-413-9095.

from horndog69 :

you are such a nerd you know you can always vent to me. cow! no matter where i am. love ya. Ying

from goldenboy :

hey whats up friend? i miss talking to you, i hardely hear from you anymore. you should IM me sometime...

from kawaiisa :

*hugs* Just dropping by to say hi! ^_^ I saw you on ICQ for a sec, but then you disappeared bfore i could say i. Missing you along with the rest of us on DM. *winks* I got a red now, wanna come back? LOL, Jk.Hope your taking care of yourself! *hugs* ~Arie (http://www.sapphiresanctuary.com/blog/)

from horndog69 :

mmm who hung themselves? You didnt bother to tell me this.

from horndog69 :

hey, are you ok now? obviously your not but you know you can always talk to me and i promise not to generalize or give you advice. You just need to talk call me. ok. but its ok to feel the way you do.I still LOVE YA!

from horndog69 :

now i see why you didnt want me to read your page. it will be ok. i promise.

from bahamagirl14 :

Hey zania. Member me?

from horndog69 :

awwww. thank you. meow mix

from bahamagirl14 :

I like ur diary. Read mine at http://bahamagirl14.diaryland.com and leave a note pullease! ~Sarah~

from goldenboy :

hi friend how are you? good i hope. thank you for writing me i am always so happy to hear from you. it would be great if you called me, or gave me you number so i can call you. i lost my old phone with your number in it.

from goldenboy :

(307)682-4815 call me anytime cheeka. bye!

from horndog69 :

I need you April and I always will. love ya.

from horndog69 :

its about damn time. i told you to go for it awhile ago. trust me it is different from online thing. no worries. follow your feelings not your head.

from horndog69 :

ok just because you keep saying a word over and over again it doesnt make it a real word.

from goldenboy :

whats up chick??? how is things??? i miss you! did you end up going to that concert? i went in denver and it was awesome. you should really come online sometime to chat with me, i can give you my new number. also the email i use now is... [email protected] well then i guess ill just look forward to hearing from you bye lady.

from horndog69 :

it's ok April. i still love ya.

from horndog69 :

who is it April? do i know him?

from horndog69 :

oh please APril you are the loop. lol

from horndog69 :

weird i couldnt sleep last night either...

from horndog69 :

oh please you can talk to me when your ready to talk.

from horndog69 :

its ok April you are not a bad friend. it is ok to get wrapped up in yourself sometimes. just dont make it a habit. love ya. Ying

from horndog69 :

Happy B-Day April!

from horndog69 :

you are a nerd and i was going to call you but the phone rang...so you are a nerd and you over think things. Damn Aries!

from goldenboy :

hi friend its been a long time. how are things? ahve you been loging on to MSN because i have not seen you on in a long time. i would really like to talk to you sometime.

from horndog69 :

dont be silly you know i would talk to you.

from horndog69 :

your a cow cow!

from horndog69 :

you cow! you could have told me about him contacting you...oh and by the way i had a dream about Eric stoddard...remember him..

from horndog69 :

i agree...but it will be ok...

from horndog69 :

how funny...did it happen again?lol

from horndog69 :

well thanks alot.... you sux. i don't like you now.

from goldenboy :

entry 1 name: Zania email: [email protected] url: http://zania.diaryland.com message: I'm sorry you and your girl are having problems and I hope everything goes better for you becuz you sound like you love her alot....... date: 6:26 am - Monday,September 3, 2001 here is the first message you ever left me, so we have known eachother for almost 3 years now.

from goldenboy :

why has your love for EM deminished???

from typelove :

hello. i saw your link on the online love ring and i was wondering if you would like to join my diary. it's a place for people who are involved in online relationships to write their feelings and support each other.

from horndog69 :

oh my God how is Elda and Monquie? call me.

from horndog69 :

it will be alright APril. you could do what me and my mom do just laugh at all the good times that were had. Which in your grandmother's case probably were alot. Not everyone wants you to cry at a funeral.I don't think she would want that either.

from horndog69 :

Its ok Apple... You can share my grandparents with me. You know they have already adopted you anyhow. :) love ya.

from horndog69 :

hey send me those witchy links. I am looking for this guy Pizzazzi spells website and i don't have the links no more.

from horndog69 :

you are a nerd....and yes you use the word in the wrong context....so there.... :)love ya.

from for-you-only :

Hello. I like your layout.

from goldenboy :

So you want a cat? OK well you can ahve mine. Whats your address? do you want him next day, or priority mail? or I could do UPS if you prefer! J/K =) How the hell are you? I miss you. I have been so busy I'm hardly online anymore. But I still love you I promise. Well I just wanted to say hey hows it going and I did that... kinda... so I'm going to go now bye April talk to you later.

from goldenboy :

Now you should know I could never forget about you. It might sound silly because I have never formely met you... but you are probably the most loyal friend I have. And I wanted to say about your last entry, I know how you feel. I am the same way. We should pull our heads out of our asses huh?

from horndog69 :

do it.

from goldenboy :

what up girl... how is things? good i hope. im back and badder then ever... just kidding. well i just thought id come and say hi. its been a while... so HI! and all catch ya later.

from horndog69 :

that is not funny cow!

from horndog69 :

funny survey send it to me...i hope i would have been number 1 on your list but that is ok...just kidding...

from fate-exists :

Hi back at ya Zania =o)

from horndog69 :

April...ok calm down...woosawwww...remember your pressure points... it will be ok.. really it will

from tarotreading :

Please visit my site if you would like a Tarot Reading! Thanks.

from fate-exists :

Hi! Found your diary on the Gilmore Girls diaryring....I must say, I just LOVE your layout!! John Mayer...*swoon* hehehe =o)

from horndog69 :

you are such a dork....

from horndog69 :

i told ya.

from horndog69 :

hey it is ok. It is good you gave her what for. anyhow. how is it going? nothing much here. talk to you later.

from horndog69 :

hey cow, I am sorry i have not been around for awhile. I have found the apartment i want. it is so cool and it is the same rent as my other one in corpus which is cool. I will be moving out in the beginning of March. Yea! So if you guys want to come up here and help move then come on by. i write more later i have to go to work.

from kawaiisa :

*huggles* your not the only one that's alone this christmas. but then it wasn't by my choice that i was... *sighs* (diary entrance is chosen/chosen) gomen, too many people using my notes for general chit-chat. *huggles* Merry Christmas Zania!! ~Arie

from faery-lights :

Me again, I'm so sorry... -_-; Your diaryrings make me happy. Harry Potter! Legolas! Empire Records! Tarot?! Yay! Pro-choice! And of course, the Wheel of Time! I just disagree with the vodka ring... I had an unpleasant experience with warm vodka once... whoo, tooooo many exclamation marks...

from faery-lights :

Heeeey! Aes Sedai indeed! (In another, more fictional life I am known as Raukowen (of raukowen.diaryland.com)... you left me a note once, in case you're thinking "Who the fuck is this?!")

from horndog69 :

you don't write you don't call. what's up? I am hurting here and I would like some support

from horndog69 :

Toby just broke up with me.

from horndog69 :

look here missy. You are somebody and you will make it. Ok. Don't let them get you down. I believe in you.

from bluknitscarf :

Hi there! Welcome to the Out-There ring! Thanks for joining! --Elizabeth

from maskedmofo :

Hey, thanks for joining the GoGo ring!! Welcome.

from horndog69 :

you are not a loser

from kawaiisa :

*pertaining to your entry* you too, eh? I Love the song, and i think it definatly fits one aspect of my life.. *huggles* So yeah, i understand. Arie

from horndog69 :

hello what about my birthday. it is on monday. THE 20TH

from horndog69 :

i see. so she is back with him. that is fine. i wipe my hands of the situation. anyhow. you were chased by a dog. :) funny.

from horndog69 :

it is ok april. i got turned down by Meryvn's. I have experience there. anyhow. you will get the job you are going to love. call me.

from me-zz :

i know exactly how you feel, been in the same mood all week. Sorry if it's odd to note(used as a verb) you. Just flipping through diaries being jealous. Remember, the word believe is based around lie.

from horndog69 :

i am sorry you are feeling so hollow. Give me a call and we can talk. love ya.

from horndog69 :

what the hell happened. I should have called you before i left. tell me. I will call you later.

from horndog69 :

You can always talk to me or not talk to me. You know I love ya. Oh by the way you should get off your lazy ass and take care of those two precious girls and brush your God damn teeth because your breath stinks. Jillian, Practical Magick. :)

from horndog69 :

I still love ya April! :) oh and i will be up there tomorrow to pick up Toby from the airport.

from kawaiisa :

Hey Zania. Was flipping through diaries, and thought i'd say Hi. Curious, how did you get the DM traiding card? i've been seeing them everywhere and have had no clue how to get one. ;_; *huggles* ~Arie

from mojo1915 :

Hello there! May your day be as follows: eat banana pudding and sleep and....Just have a good day, alright.

from horndog69 :

I love you anyways! :) Cheer up! I am going to lose my job in two weeks. but things could be worse.

from horndog69 :

You are such a dork! I read the story and it is really coming along. There a some gammar errors but other than that the flow and tempo is really good. I really got into it. No i am not just saying it because I am your friend. I would tell if it suxs you know me. About James just tell him. I think I am unique and different from other girls. so there. I finally read all those entries I missed. :) gotta go. love ya!

from horndog69 :

hey april, its june! LOL!! No for real it is LIZ :) Yvonnes friend. Just wanted to say hello. Have fun with the kiddos. bye. LIZ :) Yeah I knew talking to James would put you in a good mood. dork. but it is not like you are going to marry him or anything... Oh this is Yvonne. anyhow. Liz said to tell them your car got stolen. Tell them there was a family emergency and you could not make it in because you had to watch the children or you had to go out of town. Just suggestions. give me a call. love ya. bye

from horndog69 :

so where is the next chapter. I have been waiting to read it. hello!

from horndog69 :

I know i am the only one who has to come to terms with it and I will eventually. But that was a life altering experience for me. I know you guys were there for me. I just tend to dwell on things. but that is one of the many reasons why you love me. :)

from horndog69 :

ll you need to do is get laid by that blonde haired guy you have been dreaming about. :) love ya

from horndog69 :

it's okay April I still love you. People do things when life just seems to be too much. It is sad but that is why friends are so important. If i didn't have you guys I know i would have tried to commit suicide again. Love ya.

from horndog69 :

April Lorranie Johnson. If i ever hear you think things like that about yourself again I will slap you. You are beautiful. You are competition no matter what anybody says. And James will appreciate your honesty and telling him the truth will not hurt your friendship. It won't. I wish you would believe me. Don't down on yourself like that. Your people too. U know people people who need people are the luckiest people.... :) Love ya.

from zameer :

hi its so good to have similar nanes contack me at [email protected] I really needs a little spice in my life zameer. LOVE>

from meowth2007 :

Great site! Keep up the good work. See ya!

from kunama :

Hey there, thanks for joining up to the Runes diaryring, we are slowly growing!

from mslady215 :

Hey I was just checking out your entries... the survey was really cool...i'll be in contact...check my entires sometime i'm an upcoming artist who just wanted to display her talents for free for now..... - Mslady215-

from x-krystin-x :

Hi Zania! ~muah~ I haven't heard from you in ages girl! ~huggles~ Love from Leigha \ Amalia www14.brinkster.com/leighaforever

from rollerqueen :

Yeah I'm good (for once). Strange things have been happening to me tho', read the diary...

from rollerqueen :

yeah...uh...hi.

from rollerqueen :

yeah, last week five of them died...

from verbose520 :

Thanks for joining the Avril Lavigne diaryring!

from blustarr :

it mentions the 235 entry and your writing

from escape53 :

hi, I love the purple layout..I know there is much more to you than that..but had to at least let you know that much.

from midnightlord :

The Hundred Yeas War was the result of a lack of jelly beans throughout the land of Nigeria. The USA won...just like we win all the other wars. Once all peace was restored, Nigeria found it didnt need jelly beans...but in fact, needed hollow chocolate Santa Clauses.

from zerogirl :

did you take the "which online personality test am i" quiz?

from smilingme :

That's cool. I'm not looking for a layout..I already have one of my own. I just was wondering if you had made your's. It's awesome.

from smilingme :

Did you design your layout? Or was it created by someone else?

from smilingme :

I absolutely love your layout. It's great.

from goldenboy :

so you liked harry potter, me and danie went and watched sunday night. i liked it alot more then i thought i would. i never read the book(i never read books) the movie was great. :)

from goldenboy :

wow, i know ive said this before but... you sound just like me. we want to better our lives but were too damn lazy to get off our asses and DO IT!
i so understand what your saying, i like to say im sure of what i want... but am i really? my life is so up in the air right now. im not one who can be contempt with "the normal life" i want to be something great. but just how do you go abiut doing that?
april... i understand, and i wish you luck. =)

from goldenboy :

hi zania, i enjoyed chatting with you, i would like to get to know you a little better, if you want to set up a time for us to chat email me with with waht is a good time for you and we can work something out k... bye talk to you later...

from damik :

Well hi back at you. :-)

from zerogirl :

Thank you for signing my guestbook. I've heard much of Revolutionary Girl Utena. Is it very good?

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