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I'd rather be somewhere else, but until then i'll just have to sit here and write some shit to entertain myself.



My favorite diaries:

porktornado    profile - diary
comments:  "You will never hear anyone say I wish I was a cat, so I could toss my own salad. No one wants to do that."
starlight42    profile - diary
comments:  Okay so she likes Celine Dion and hates Howard Stern. We all have our flaws don't we? ;)
facepunch    profile - diary
comments:  "The downstairs bathroom is one of those very tiny ones that only has a toilet directly across from the sink, so youre forced to look at yourself in the mirror while you pee. if you can think of the proper expression to use while peeing, do tell.
eibisch    profile - diary
comments:  "And [*gasp*] the movie is bloody and violent and yadda yadda.People! It is NOT a Calgon commercial -it's a Crucifixion!"
peytonsplace    profile - diary
comments:  "Seriously. I am GASSY. If you held a blow torch up to my ass I would be HiroShima."
girle    profile - diary
comments:  A Tori and Twilight Singer fan?!?! I've died and gone to heaven!
betabitch    profile - diary
comments:  "We figured since we were traveling through the languages, and since it was April, we'd go visit the pope for Easter. Why the fuck not? We ARE his children and all. "
genghis-jon    profile - diary
comments:  "Fucking asshole, i hope everybody who works for that shitty company gets the runs and dies."
sundry    profile - diary
comments:  "Most classy social engagements include at least a mention of fisting. Why, it's practically a requirement."
sturge    profile - diary
comments:  "Then, the title screen of Sports Disasters popped up. I'm sorry television, I will never doubt you again."
kristintracy    profile - diary
comments:  "You dont think using a Mr. Clean-soaked sponge on your skin is really bad, do you?"
idiot-milk    profile - diary
comments:  "I think, should I ever become a serial killer, I will go after sweet little old ladies. Oh, and those assholes who say "happy camper." Those motherfuckers are at the top of my list."
thedailywtf    profile - diary
comments:  " It affects my tip in no way since I tip 15% unless you barf in my lap, show your tit to my husband, piss on my son's head or fart uncontrollably while telling me the daily specials."
warcrygirl    profile - diary
comments:  "My first thought was "OMG, is she touching the merchandise?" Because this is important. I want to be sure that when I pick up that can of garden peas that I'm not touching another woman's crotch crickets by proxy."
ikss    profile - diary
comments:  She's got the 411 on what makes the world go round. It's a good thing.
trancejen    profile - diary
comments:  "I have the female equivalent of blue balls (blue clit?), and damned if I'm not about to call up every poor schmuck I ever shot down in high school and beyond when I was Not Ready and say, "I NOW KNOW YOUR PAIN.""
biensoul    profile - diary
comments:  Baby Shower Drinking Game: "No more will talk of onesies and diaper genies bring you down when you can vomit on the pure white bassinet!"
tvzero    profile - diary
comments:  "Man, barely thirty and Im already crotchety. Just you wait, in about ten years, Im gonna be on the front porch of some rickety old shack with my bloodhound called cooter and Ill glare at the children walking by."
blulinepaper    profile - diary
madamepierce    profile - diary
comments:  "The conversation about ass-wiping stemmed from a different conversation about whether a persons balls were cleaner than their asshole, to which I yelled a resounding YES, because hello, whoever caught E. coli from licking someone's balls?&
ChicagoJo    profile - diary
comments:  "Nothing says, I think youre great, like a little drool on the face."
bethany9    profile - diary
comments:  "Damn Mother Nature, that egg sucking whore. She did this to me last year around this time. One day it's 84. The next day it's 42. Make up your mind, ya cock tease!"
Joecartoon    profile - diary
comments:  "It should be pointed out here that I am highly in favor of legal euthanasia of everyone over the age of 70."
juddhole    profile - diary
comments:  "she really didn't care about the ring, and told me later she would've married me if I'd had a ring made out of belly-button lint, and that she was crying because she was so happy. Damn, I could've saved some cash."
ubergrrl    profile - diary
comments:  "What is it with gay men and Cher?? Is it because she looks like a man.. so they are gay-ishly attracted to her/him?? Or perhaps Cher is an attainable goal for trannies.. "
bingoguy    profile - diary
comments:  "I wish I could have all of you cause you just make me so damn tingly inside I can barely stop from touching myself when I read your entries."
chaostraffic    profile - diary
comments:  "I'm neither Catholic, nor fair-skinned, so I figure they cancel each other out and we can move on to more important topics like... does my butt look big in these pants?"
imaphatpig    profile - diary
comments:  "It's amazing the feeling of power you get when you can take a shit so big that you clog your own toilet. Wow. Seriously. "
hotcarl    profile - diary
comments:  Because he forces me to think EVERY DAMN DAY.
plopphizz    profile - diary
comments:  "Good rule of thumb regarding family member's groins and clothing directly in contact with said groins: spend as little time as possible with both of those things."
savecraig    profile - diary
comments:  He's back and better than ever.

My favorite music:

Twilight Singers
Tori Amos
Massive Attack
Imogen Heap
Pearl Jam

My favorite movies:

Silence of the Lambs
The Passion of the Christ
Life is Beautiful
Lord of the Rings

My favorite authors:

Dan Brown
Mary Gaitskill

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last updated: 2004-12-17 12:41:19
this user's total entries: 78
user since: 2004-03-18

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