I think I need a WetNap

I will say evil things about you behind your back. I will tell you that your 4-track prog rock demo tape sucks. I will refuse to argue with you when you want to have an intelligent discussion about world affairs or the philosophy of famous old men. I will give you the best massage of your life, only after you've begged me a million times and have offered me a million dollars or a million sexual favors. I will show you the jackass that you are by writing about you in a short story and re-naming you 'Chaz McNamara.' I crochet fanciful animal hats. I like boring museums and shoe gazer bands and terrible teen movies. Be careful, because I might quote you, but never believe your own press.

My favorite diaries:

hermitage profile - diary
comments: if she were a monster, she'd have two butts and red hair. :-D
joe-average profile - diary
comments: if he were a monster, he'd have long long legs and go far.
thschrmngboy profile - diary
comments: if he were a monster, he'd grow poesy instead of fingernails.
pixiia-8 profile - diary
comments: If she were a monster, she'd have four boobs and an exposed pulsating brain.
perceptions profile - diary
comments: If he were a monster, he'd have a fish-eye eye.
thebeesknees profile - diary
comments: If she were a monster, she'd probably dress better than you.
ebm profile - diary
comments: If she were a monster, she'd throw the best mizzonster pizznartay.
magnetichand profile - diary
comments: If she were a monster, you'd never keep her in a cage.
jwinokur profile - diary
comments: If he were a monster, he's have ten testicles and a webcam.
el-guapo profile - diary
comments: If he were a monster, he'd have no penis.
cptninternet profile - diary
comments: If she were a monster, you wouldn't be able to resist her.
facepunch profile - diary
comments: Dude, she already has a monster on her page.
biloon profile - diary
comments: The Monstress of Comedic Insanity
heidiann profile - diary
comments: HELLO KITTY MONSTER FREAK SHOW
crepesoda profile - diary
comments: Fucka cool WEINERMONSTER
yeb-vas profile - diary
comments: Monster loads of monster love and verbiage :)
no-and-then profile - diary
comments: off the heezy!

My favorite music:

helium
handsome boy modeling school
mirah
apples in stereo
buddha on the mooon

My favorite movies:

dead alive
the last unicorn
so i married an axe murderer
the breakfast club
city of lost children

My favorite authors:

jeffrey eugenides
aimee bender
stacey richter
sandra cisneros
fabio

leave a note for four-eyes
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last updated: 2004-06-02 15:22:03
this user's total entries: 394
user since: 2002-10-01

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