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[Your thoughts at this point in time: "OK, this chick has locked her diary, but she's posted the username and password on her profile. Um, OK. That's not a contradiction of massive proportions. No, not at all."]

Yes, yes, I understand. But, believe me, there is a reason behind my insane behavior.

Well . . . in this case, anyway.

Look, just stop making that puzzled expression, click on the above link, enter in the username and password, and come hither.

And afterward, if you're still curious about the username thing, just sign the book so that I can be sure to satisfy . . .

Your curiosity, that is. :-)

"The hardest thing in life is to be real. Hard for me, hard for you. To be real requires that we first acknowledge, and then accept, ALL our feelings. But that's the road to true authenticity--something we invariably prize in others but, sadly, shrink from ourselves." --Dr. John Trimble

My favorite diaries:

Ballet-Bum profile - diary

comments: I'm returning the favor, since she was kind enough to lift my spirits by adding me to her Buddy List. A nice, crisp, clean writer. I certainly look forward to reading more.

Booberella profile - diary

comments: I reeeally shouldn't be laughing at this, but . . . PAHAHAHAHA!! I can't help it!! "Don't have sex, ever, at all, unless you WANT to have babies. Because no one wants to be a dirty, dirty liar."

BurnTheNight profile - diary

comments: A skilled writer who seems to think that I am a "master of words, " which leads me to believe she must be a Charter escapee. I kid, I kid. This one is officially responsible for making my day yesterday. :-)

Carollella profile - diary

comments: She sent me an IM a few years back asking for some going-to-college advice. We kept in touch for a long time after that, but haven't spoken in a while. I found her diary due to my being a snoop who reads all of her buddies' away messages.

Chloroform profile - diary

comments: "I can conquer the cosmos with my six hundred dollars! I don't plan to actually do that, though. I'm going to go to Victoria's Secret and blow it all on thongs." Woo-hoo!! I am not alone!!

Cianne profile - diary

comments: Cianne was the first person EVER to list me as a favorite, and as a result, became one of the first diaries I ever read on a regular basis. Cheers to my Canadian friend!! :-)

CoffeeBitch profile - diary

comments: HAHAHA!! "After Laura mentioned that guys only liked _______ because she had large breasts, I believe I shouted (for everyone in the room to hear), 'What the fuck ever! I have huge tits and it hasn't gotten me shit!'"

DiaryQuotes profile - diary

comments: Use one of these one-liners on me and I'll . . . I'll . . . well . . . I'll add you to my Buddy List in the most seductive way possible, how's that strike ya? Awww, yeeea-uhhh, baby!!

DivineDesire profile - diary

comments: Jody is my fellow VIP piano bar groupie, my part-time therapist, my best friend from high school, my closest friend to this day, my future screenplay writing partner, and the future godmother of my very unborn children. Frankly, she just rules.

DrHead profile - diary

comments: My ol' buddy, Ben, from my writing class last fall, who left us all in a state of complete and utter despair when he moved to Seattle. Everyone add him to your list. The guy is a fucking riot, not to mention an absolutely incredible writer.

DumbGenius profile - diary

comments: Sans the first part, the name is quite fitting. "...I love how I have so much work that I'm supposed to get done, and instead, I'm attempting to boycott CNN."

GolfWidow profile - diary

comments: Razor-sharp wit + outright intelligence + mastery of words and grammar = GolfWidow's writing. Plus, it's been 235 days since she quit smoking. Thus, she is my hero.

HachieAngel profile - diary

comments: Hahaha. Jessica's going on my list because: (1) You'd never believe she was 16 based on the way she writes; (2) I'm returning the favor; and (3) I've kept her in suspense for waaayyy too long over something completely ridiculous.

HeidiAnn profile - diary

comments: I found this one a few months ago and am now addicted. Yay for sarcasm!! "Oh, is something going down in Iraq? I'm sorry, my head is buried deep in the sand and I refuse to acknowledge what's happening."

Idiot-Milk profile - diary

comments: "Bitch, do I LOOK like a used car salesman? YOU CAN'T FUCKING HAGGLE FOR CLOTHES IN THE GOD DAMN MALL." Uno point for simply being funny; an additional point for using one of my favorite similes ever. Hahaha.

ItsMyLife profile - diary

comments: "IT'S NOW OR NEVER! I AIN'T GONNA LIVE FOREVER!! I JUST WANNA LIVE WHILE I'M ALIVE, 'CAUSE IT'S . . . MY . . . LIFE!!" Sorry, got a little carried away with Bon Jovi. But this one's really great, y'all. :-)

KB8 profile - diary

comments: I'm just returning the favor for right now; I haven't had time to peruse his diary yet.

Love-In-Vein profile - diary

comments: Her "letters to various countries and continents" entry had me laughing out loud--and I mean LOUD--at 3:15 in the morning when I was sitting in bed all alone. Trust me, that, in itself, deserves praise.

Melomane profile - diary

comments: "You know boredom has crossed the normality line when you find yourself taking showers just for something to do." Yeah, well, you know lazy has crossed the normality line when you're not nearly that motivated.

Miss-Edith profile - diary

comments: OK, now this is just too funny: "Reasons why I am better than your average alarm clock: (1) I don't beep; (2) I swallow."

Mrs-Roboto profile - diary

comments: The name alone landed her a place on my faves list. Lucky for me, though, she turned out to be a tremendous writer. Hehehe. Oh, and of course, Styx rules. :-)

Nools profile - diary

comments: "Christina still far outskanks me. She takes the blue ribbon at the Betty Crocker Skank-Off every time. If skank were people, she'd be China." OK, how sad is it that I know she got that last line off of 'City Slickers'?

Perceptions profile - diary

comments: I've been meaning to add this one to my list for a really long time, seeing as I've been reading his unbelievably witty, thought-provoking entries for months now.

Phrygian profile - diary

comments: We piano bar groupies simply cannot resist a sensitive musician. ;-)

Piehole profile - diary

comments: Absolutely hysterical. "I am now going to elaborate on my heiressness. Some people died and let me stuff. I am an heiress. The end."

Prolific profile - diary

comments: Pure creative genius who doesn't seem to see it in himself.

Quoted profile - diary

comments: Ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable has happened: I was actually quoted.

RevHooligan profile - diary

comments: Ha!! I wish I had the balls to do this: "I may get a job at McDonald's this week just so I can quit it dramatically. I've never used the phrase 'cocksucking death merchant' in an exit interview. It sounds fun."

Roachhaus profile - diary

comments: OK, this is just hilarious: "This is what someone searched for about three minutes ago on Google: 'I am 13 years old show me girls my age nude.' I defy ANYONE to top that. Seriously, defy me. Now."

SensualMinx profile - diary

comments: HAHAHA!! "Clint is absolutely wonderful. Incredible. Too good to be true. So I have come to the conclusion that he has to be a serial killer." (Dude, Jody, maybe that's it. Maybe Jonathan is really the next Ted Bundy!!)

SheBlogs profile - diary

comments: Most of her template designs are very, very, very super-cool, and her diary is extremely well written--not to mention full of substance and "real life" stuff.

StarKitten01 profile - diary

comments: A member of my "hush-hush" ring. Hahaha. The first line in her profile says it all.

Sturge profile - diary

comments: Fucking hysterical. Like, we're talking I-just-had-to-spit-out-a-mouthful-of-Dr-Pepper-because-I-was-laughing-so-hard-when-I-read-this hysterical: "Holy fuck, I would kill my own mother for a cheese pizza and a 12-pack of Schlitz right now.

Sundry profile - diary

comments: Hahaha!! Don't you just love funny people? "All right. That's enough self-criticism for one night. Dog just dragged her butt along the carpet and left a stripe, so I've got other things to attend to."

SweetBabyPea profile - diary

comments: I haven't had the chance to scope out her diary just yet, but as a fellow fan of the Onion, she's simply gotta be cool. She had ol' Virginia listed as a fave, so naturally I'm returning the favor now that Virginia is officially dead.

TattodNanny profile - diary

comments: Cianne listed this one as a favorite, and after visiting TattodNanny's Diary, I completely understand why. Hahaha!! It's hilarious!!

Taydo profile - diary

comments: Hilarious, and automatically awesome because we share the same name. "Most mothers worry about their gay sons waking up next to random naked men. Mine worries about me waking up next to kitchenware."

ThisIsAllMee profile - diary

comments: This one belongs to my closest guy friend, Tim, from whom I need some time away until the scars heal and the trust feels worth rebuilding.

UncleBob profile - diary

comments: An unbelievably witty writer, whose entries I look forward to reading every single day. In fact, I'm totally convinced that I need to grow up and marry someone like Uncle Bob. I'd never stop laughing!!

UnsentLetter profile - diary

comments: A big MUAH! to whoever created this site. Allowing an audience of people who don't give a shit to read your own emotion-filled letters is, to my surprise, unbelievably therapeutic.

WhyIHateYou profile - diary

comments: Hahahaha. This is hysterical. It sounds like something I'd hear at Ego's during Poetry Slam. Hahaha. Love it!!

Wicked-Sezzy profile - diary

comments: I'll most certainly drink to this: "Gentlemen, the day your biggest fucking problem is that the girl you're seeing is far too enamored with the idea of having your PENIS inside her VAGINA is the day I kick you very hard in said PENIS."

X-Skye-X profile - diary

comments: Misty's other diary.

X-Y profile - diary

comments: SCORE!! He's back!! Woo-hoo!!

YouScareMe profile - diary

comments: Misty is going on my list for four reasons: (1) She is truly a good Samaritan; (2) She included me on her list of faves; (3) She is waaayyy too kind; and (4) She's got a really sweet diary, which she updates regularly . . . unlike SOME people I know.

My favorite music:

Aerosmith

comments: Because no one is sexier than Steven Tyler (you know, in that "I'm 60 and I've done so many drugs I look like a skeleton" way).

Billy Joel & Elton John

comments: Because they are, in my opinion, the two greatest artists ever to exist in the history of music. The sound, the rhythm, the lyrics, the voices--they're all flawless.

Sarah McLauchlan

comments: Because her songs are poetry. "What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage?"

Dave Matthews Band

comments: Because his songs are unbelievably thought-provoking. "Don't you wonder maybe if you took a left turn instead of taking a right, you could be somebody different?"

A few more of my favorites:

comments: Queen, Styx, Paul Simon, U2, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, The Beatles, KISS, The Doors, Portishead, Tracy Chapman, Tom Petty, R.E.M., Cake, Weezer, Pat Green, Alanis Morissette, Mary-Chapin Carpenter, Dean Martin.

My favorite movies:

Chicago

comments: Because "Jesus Christ, ain't there no deceny left? Nobody's got no class!! Every guy is a snot; every girl is a twat. Holy shit, what a shame. What became of class?"

Moulin Rouge

comments: Because combining the brilliance of Queen, U2, Madonna, Elton John, Marilyn Monroe (well, that's an overstatement), and David Bowie to write the perfect love story was just awesome. Baz Luhrman took his skills to a whole new level with this one.

Forrest Gump

comments: Because Tom Hanks was brilliant, the script was even more brilliant, and Gary Sinise was most brilliant. I'm still upset he didn't win the Oscar.

Sleepless in Seattle

comments: Because I'm a dreamer. Thus, I, too, believe in "magic."

A few more of my favorites:

comments: As Good As it Gets, Rain Man, When Harry Met Sally, Arthur, Pay it Forward, The Wizard of Oz, Tootsie, How to Make an American Quilt, St. Elmo's Fire, Steel Magnolias, Fried Green Tomatoes, Almost Famous, The Game, The Birdcage.

My favorite authors:

Arthur Miller

comments: Because Death of a Salesman is, in my opinion, the best piece of dramatic literature ever written.

The people who write for The Onion

comments: Because they continually produce the best headlines ever (e.g., "World's Largest Metaphor Hits Iceberg" / "HOLY SHIT!! MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON" / "Notorious B.I.G. Cremation Enters Third Week").

George Carlin

comments: Because he proves that there's no way to combat all of the problems in this world without humor.

William Shakespeare

comments: Because, c'mon, it's William Shakespeare.

A few more of my favorites:

comments: Raymond Carver, Jonathan Franzen, John Updike, T.S. Eliot, William Blake, Robert Frost, Tennessee Williams, Emily Dickinson, Zora Neale Hurston, Eugene O'Neill, John Steinbeck. Locally: Andy Buck, Ragan Fox, Matthew John Conley.

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last updated: 2004-08-11 17:33:54
this user's total entries: 267
user since: 2002-09-14

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