Journal of A Living Dead Girl

Mirror Mirror on the wall, watch her break, watch her fall, stich her smile bruise her knees, walk among her enemies

Her eyes were haunting. Hollow and dazed she seemed not to grasp what was happening around her. On closer inspection one would find she just didn't care anymore. Every breath was more labored every memory more painful. Nothing drove her anymore. Her fire had been extinguished before it'd had a true chance to burn. To those outside herself she was talented, she held promise and future if she'd only use it, but to the angel child there was nothing left. Without her other half how could she be worth anything? How could she matter when the best part of her had walked away?

Looking back now she finds all the flaws, all the mistakes, the missteps she would correct to execute the flawless dance of life. Now she shys away. Frightened of the people and places she’s seen, frightened of the darkness she didn't now she possessed. How could such ugliness thrive in such a tender heart?

The answer is disturbingly simple... the tender heart dies and is replaced by a black mass of nothingness. Her eyes don’t just appear hollow; they are after all the window to her former soul.

Just remember darlings. I am only what you have made me.

If you could see the world in my scars, Would you turn your eyes away? Or would you hem and haw and find one more way, to tell me Ive fucked it up today.

When did I sparkle? When did I shine? All that’s left is dead inside.

We said we must be friends or die... we've died a thousand times since then.

You're just like an angel//Your skin makes me cry//You float like a feather//In a beautiful world//I wish I was special//You're so f*cking special- Radiohead "Creep"

And Ana wrecks your life//Like an anorxic life -Silverchair "Ana's song"

And no matter how you hurt me. How you hold me. No matter what you do.... in the sickest part of my mind I know I'l be waiting right here for you.

Would you like to take the knife? The marks I make are for you tonight

I am a writer of sorts, poetry, essays, short fiction, and a novel Ive put aside for the moment. Single, 18, with a group of friends to die for *the real ones that is*. More and more this is a real diary with poems scattered throughout. Mostly its Angsty Teenage Shit. So I apologize, because Im sure when Im 40 I'll look back and think "You were such a loser at 18"

My favorite diaries:

lyrical-love    profile - diary

comments:  The Music

ophelias-sin    profile - diary

comments:  The Poetry

like-perfect    profile - diary

comments:  The Fiction

chrisval    profile - diary

comments:  If there is one person in the world I could never make it without, you know it'd be you dont you?

checafox    profile - diary

comments:  And you know when I make you cry, streaming tears fall from my eyes.

dieselxxx    profile - diary

comments:  And it amazes me how one person can believe in so much of me.

nomoretosee    profile - diary

comments:  Never forget, the Nightengale can't live without it's Sugarbean.

boysfear    profile - diary

comments:  I've watched you grow, alter, and experance. I can honestly say the last three years haven

snapechic    profile - diary

comments:  When you're lost and alone, I'll be there you wipe your tears

Catpewk    profile - diary

comments:  When you look at me, what is it you see, and why doesn't it match up to my little me?

sherpahigh    profile - diary

comments:  Sometimes, when things get really dark, the only thing I have to do is remember our talks. Then I know Im not alone.

todayiamfree    profile - diary

comments:  "Musician, writer, layabout, drinker, brother, unemployed academic, son, reader, thinker, white, British, male, middle class, heterosexual, 25, single, sometimes quiet, crying and shy, sometimes loud, laughing and high..."

dani-lou    profile - diary

comments:  "I want someone to be around me for who I am, not who I was, or who I will be. Whether I survived rape, death, or anything else is insignificant; I would prefer someone just like me for who I am now."

squirrelx    profile - diary

comments:  "A Cracker? Yes I surely am"

spritopias    profile - diary

comments:  The only thing more dangerous than a man with a plastic lightsaber is a man with a plastic lightsaber that thinks it works

zipperblues    profile - diary

comments:  "Or we could forgo the mind altering drugs and give her coffee on an empty stomach. Basicly the same affect"

Hippichickie    profile - diary

fireflyinfog    profile - diary

xgreymousex    profile - diary

nycgoddess    profile - diary

ericintervw    profile - diary

My favorite music:

Dashboard Confessional

comments:  The White Stripes, Weezer,The Hives, The Vines, Bush

Nirvana

comments:  Pearl Jam, NIN, STP, Sublime

Sugar Cult

comments:  Green Day, Blink 182, Foo Fighters, Jimmy Eat World, New Found Glory, Good Charlotte

Alanis Morissette

comments:  Fiona Apple, Jewel, Ani Difranco, Lisa Lobe, Tori Amos, No Doubt (before Rock Steady)

Our Lady Peace

comments:  Godsmack, , POD, Staind, System of a Down,

My favorite movies:

Gia

Almost Famous

Legally Blonde

Cruel Intentions

Empire Records

My favorite authors:

Poe

Plath

Byron

Bronte

Shakespeare

comments:  In faith I do not love thee with mine eyes, /For they in thee a thousand errors note;/But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise,/Who, in despite of view, is pleased to dote.

give xmoon-childx a gift
leave a note for xmoon-childx
xmoon-childx's personal info (location)
diaryrings which xmoon-childx belongs to
diaries which list xmoon-childx as a favorite diary
last updated: 2004-10-13 13:21:42
this user's total entries: 348
user since: 2003-02-23

AOL IM name: broken chaos fae
ICQ number: 236739955
Yahoo Messenger name: ophelias_sin
MSN Messenger name: AngstRiddenBella@hotmail.com

recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland