Can You Figure Me Out?
June 03, 2002 @ 4:04 pm

Ugh... my sister just disconnected me from the internet and now my MSN is freezing again, which means I have to redownload it again. This will be the fourth time in the last week or so. It gets to be a pain in the ass after awhile.

Today at school... hmm what happened? Andrew got his hair cut. I think that's about it. In Spanish I was talking to Meily, Jen, Adam, Tori, Linds, (who are all in the same room, except Linds was home sick today) and Ross.

I tried to get Adam to open up to me so he wouldn't be so rude all of the time, but he is a closed book, I guess. It's too late to try and form new friendships anyway, I suppose. The grads only have four days left, which saddens me. It really does, I feel like there's something tugging at my heart or something, maybe I was supposed to try harder to make friends with people older than me. Lord knows I can't stand most of the people my own age.

I've made friends with a lot of people from grade 12 this year, not even thinking that I would never see them again, and now I don't know what to do. I suppose I will see them someday. Some of them. They can't all be going away to university, some will hang out and come to the hockey games next year on Friday nights, and some will come to the dances or I'll see them in the mall or at work.

It will be even worse next year. I always act like friends mean nothing to me, that I could drop them like a hat if I needed to, but they do support me a little. And I hope I support them a lot more then they do me, because I don't get a lot of it from them. Just physical things are what I get from my friends, they come with me when I go to the cafeteria to keep me company, or maybe to strut down the hall trying to look cool to impress someone they have a secret crush on. As for mentally and emotionally, my friends and I don't relate. I guess I'm just different, but I still love and try to understand them, somewhat.

I don't really know what I am trying to say.

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