you're right. it's something that i knew inside as well, but i honestly liked the attention i got from him. after him sending me that final email i kept him on my facebook. i didnt remove him and noticed he didnt remove me until today, so yeah. i don't know how i feel right now. i do know that i don't feel anger. i guess i just feel disappointed in myself. after all this drama, i still like him or was it the idea of him or was it even just the sex that i liked and clouding my judgement? not sure.
i am talking to someone else who is single. he's in the navy and he's very different from any guy i've ever talked to. first of all, he's 35, has a career, supports himself and plays wow. oh, he also has a son from a previous marriage. normally i would freak out about someone who has a kid, but honestly, it doesn't bother me one bit that he has a son and an ex wife. i guess i'm at the age where men my age will have that kind of baggage. i'm not concerned though. i don't know how to be a parent, i dont have kids and really never interacted with kids. i don't know how to be around them and that was my main concern. i didn't want to be that horrible step mother, ya know?
well, he doesn't want to meet me. i don't know what to think about that. he says he's not happy with himself right now and doesn't want to sabotage any potential relationship we may have. we started talking at the same time i met the teacher last december. we didnt start talking dirty until last month and had phone sex for the first time tonight. this is me taking it slow... lol...
i just dont want to fuck this up. i think i've decided that you cant really be totally into someone until you meet them in person to see if you click or not. i think that talking to people online and over the phone doesn't have that same... i dont know.. something.. that attraction, interaction, something...
well, i'm just going to try and take it slow and go with the flow. so far, he makes me happy and i look forward to his calls and texts.
1:32 a.m. - March 05, 2009
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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