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2001-06-01 | 4:36 p.m.

In my last entry, I used the phrase "my generation." What could that mean, other than "me and my friends"? I am peeved at myself for being disingenuous. I have no special understanding of people who are my age or close to it. Quite the contrary.

Today after school we went to the park with Felony's "boyfriend" Bay and his beautiful mother, Sasha. Sasha is quite a bit younger than I am but we bonded after realizing we're both partisans of the Bradley Method (of childbirth). I'm a huge Bradley booster but I hardly ever talk about it, because since we moved up here I've met only one other person (before today) who both knew what it was and had a favorable opinion of it.

I told Sasha that I find it hard to talk to other mothers who haven't done Bradley without being insulting, so I tend to avoid the subject altogether. I usually manage to say that we did the Bradley Method and that it worked really well for us, and try to leave it at that. I always hope they will ask my opinion, at which point I would be happy to offer more information; but they almost never do. It's really none of my business, right? But I really can't understand why more people don't take the course, or why they don't do more research before taking Lamaze. Lamaze just struck me as a complete crock of shit. I can remember very clearly thinking to myself, "Do I really want to learn a new way to breathe, so I can try to use it during childbirth? No. I know myself too well; I won't do it." Much less be in pain and try to think about something else. Sasha said that's why 90 percent of Lamaze births are medicated.

(At about this point I scanned the playground and noticed we were standing right by a woman who appeared to be about eight months pregnant, and she had an agitated look on her face. Whoops, ha ha! I'm sure she was able to hear most of what we had said, but I hope she realized we were having an honest conversation and not saying it for her particular benefit. Have you ever noticed people doing that? I notice a lot of mothers who talk to their children REALLY LOUD, as if to get your attention, maybe to prove that they are raising their children properly. I'm not sure, but it's extremely annoying. I've even caught myself doing it. What is that all about? Weird.)

Sasha said she proselytizes about Bradley every chance she gets. She's a student studying forensic psychology, with hopes of going into politics when she's older, but after talking to her for a while I decided that she ought to teach Bradley classes right now, because she needs a part-time job. I think she'd be great. She thought she had to be an RN to do it but I assured her that she doesn't. So now I'm on a mission. As far as I know there is only one other woman around here who teaches it and clearly that's not enough.

We were talking about how weird it is to hear other mothers joking about drugs. You always hear pregnant women saying, "Oh, when I get in there, I'm going to be yelling 'Gimme the damn drugs!'" Those women don't like to hear you say you didn't take drugs or you didn't want to take drugs. They want everybody else to validate their choice. Just as we do. I told Sasha that a few times women have said to me, Why on EARTH would you want to go through childbirth without drugs? and every time I have had to hold my tongue. I try to say something diplomatic, when what I'm really thinking is Because those five extra IQ points matter to me.

But of course that's just way too rude to actually say. I have to keep telling myself that it's none of my business what other people do.

I'll have to post my birth stories here sometime---that'll definitely drive away the readers in droves. My friend Ruth thinks it's about the worst thing in the world, to hear another woman launch into a birth story. To her it's like getting cornered in a restroom by a Moonie.

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