i guess the last time i was here, things were going pretty good for me....i really thought so.
it was just another illusion in my head. it was only me, seeing what i wanted. there has never been a day that went by in the past two years that i haven't prayed...there hasn't been a day when i haven't thought of what it would be like to have someone around that cared. there hasn't been a night that i haven't wished on a star that the loneliness would end. and i believed, i truly believed, that love was real, and people were real, and that i would receive the love i deserved one day, if i was patient. it was just another illusion in my head. it was only me, seeing what i wanted. the pain fills me up....it's all i think of. it's all i am. every day it's what i breathe, it's what i see, it's all i am. i feel as if i could suffocate on it; like i am choking on all the what ifs....and i am so tired, tired of choking on the all of the whys.dreams made me believe....
dreams and stars and fairy tales..they pulled me closer to their light, like a moth drawn to the flame...only to be left writhing and peeling in the early morning sun. nothing to show of light, nothing to show of love. it was just an illusion in my head. it was only me, seeing what i wanted. jj
| Powered by SlagBoard |
|
|