pcfulchaos's Diaryland Diary

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Human Bee-ings

Sunday evening :
Everything was so loud today � Tim�s booming voice � girls squealing amidst splashes in the pool � the television � the iPod system churning music into the backyard � voices, dog, birds �

It�s like everything was amplified � and now that all has stilled � my head and ears are still buzzing � and trying to adjust to the quiet �

Or is that just a blood pressure surge �

Monday morning:
So four hours of sleep later � (girls wanted a �girls night� so we stayed up until the wee hours watching movies � Penelope � absolutely LOVED that movie � quite impressed with the lead � James McElvoy who reminds me of a young Johnny Depp� and No Reservations � nothing special) I�m up ready to face another day. The sky is blue, the humidity is building � the red cardinal in the front yard is sitting dejected amidst the branches of the old pine (I forgot to fill the bird feeder again). Love this early morning coffee � just me and Peanut Butter. These moments are my internal stability ball � reflection .. quiet planning of the day � internal conversations � sometimes I even talk to myself out loud � which usually brings the dog to my side, looking up at me wondering what�s wrong �

� not so today � a sip of coffee and the day takes shape in my mind�s eye � with built in buffers naturally � with this many people in my immediate circle and all the outside forces, I�ve learnt to be adaptable.

There�s something about ritual however that soothes the soul � for we are creatures of habit at best. Ritual, routine � is communion with self. Those stilling moments that acknowledge our choice, our responsibility to ourselves and to things outside of our circle of gravity � peace amidst the chaos.

I love these stolen moments � though the �stealing� is a misnomer as these minutes are carved out of most days � found and made possible without much effort anymore. But there was a time when finding time was near impossible, or so I thought � now they flow naturally within the stream of a day � offering me different perspectives as they rarely occur at the same time two days in a row. These early morning breaths are the best � the air is still fresh � and I imagine that the birds and squirrels have just awakened, the bees have buzzed out of the hives with sleep still wrinkling their wings � it�s a god-like feeling. The grass is greener, dew drops more reflective � as my eyes spot the webs across the back fence near the pink �Stefani�s Garden� sign �

� and then the golden buzz is shattered by the first loud squeals of civilization � a lawn mower buzzes a few streets away, a garbage truck rumbles on a side street � children giggle as they ride down the street on their bikes � and before these sounds are fully digested, there are more � and the world becomes filled with the buzzing of our human hive �
Time to get to work �

10:46 a.m. - 2008-08-18

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