Shannen Murray is available 11:10 pm
Shannen Murray 11:10 pm
Hey.
Luke Strawn 11:10 pm
Hey. What's up?
Shannen Murray 11:10 pm
On the phone with Santi, but I just wanted to see if you'd actually reply.
Luke Strawn 11:11 pm
Well, yeah.
Tell him, no, he shouldn't shave his head.
Shannen Murray 11:11 pm
well, like, the last time I talked to you, you made it really clear how much you hated me and didn't want to talk to me, idk, I'm just babbling.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Luke Strawn 11:12 pm
Well, you made fun of my friends, and you made it clear that you were only trying to apologize to clear your guilty conscious
Shannen Murray 11:12 pm
I wasn't.
I just..idk, missed you.
When did I make fun of them?
Luke Strawn 11:13 pm
"I'm sorry my friends are normal, and actually have hormones and can actually get boyfriends and girlfriends"
Shannen Murray 11:13 pm
You said mine were overly hormonal and immature and stuff. And I didn't mean that, you know that. I love your friends.
Luke Strawn 11:14 pm
You meant it because you said it. I said everywhere you are, there always appears to be drama, and that I was glad that wasn't the case for me.
Shannen Murray 11:15 pm
There's no drama anymore. I don't really get that. I know I say things that I don't mean, out of anger.
You never really understood that..I wish you did.
Luke Strawn 11:15 pm
Shannen, people do a lot of things out of anger - that doesn't make them ok.
Shannen Murray is available 11:17 pm
Shannen Murray 11:17 pm
I know, and I try to apologize. I know what I said was wrong, and you're never going to forgive me, but still.
I didn't mean anything I said after we broke up.
Shannen Murray 11:19 pm
I was still upset over Michael..you were just my rebound, you were there, and I needed to say things. I'm sorry..I don't know, I'll just shut up. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but looking back at it now, we both have regrets, I'm sure.
Shannen Murray is available 11:20 pm
Shannen Murray 11:20 pm
You did mean alot to me, but just not that way. You were right, we were better off as friends..
Luke Strawn 11:21 pm
Shannen, I don't care what you said about michael, or whatever. The only regret I have is the way I broke up with you - no one deserves what I did, and I'm sorry for that. And I deserved the yelling, because of the sex.
And I understand all of that anger that you needed to get out
But either stay made, or stay my friend. Don't storm off, don't switch moods on me, and don't insult my friends, even if you "don't mean it"
No one deserves that bullshit, and part of growing up is controlling that.
Shannen Murray 11:21 pm
I'm no t going to.
I'
m going to fix myself..I have, I've tried.
My sister..treats people how I treated you, and I realie how fucked up it is.
You don't deserve that.
No one does.
Me and Michael are friends now..we can actually talk like best friends.
I missed talking to you like that. I know your life is better without me.
Shannen Murray 11:23 pm
I'd just rather be there for you, like you tried to always be there for me, before I made it to hard to be.
Luke Strawn 11:23 pm
My life's actually been just about the same.
Shannen, there's no way we can get back to that, I'm sorry. You know I'll be there if there's anything you need to talk to me about, but I have my people that I can confide in.
Shannen Murray 11:24 pm
I know.
I know that now.
Luke Strawn 11:24 pm
Bri and I talk like we're best friends again too, but I always expected that to happen.
Shannen Murray is available 11:26 pm
Shannen Murray 11:26 pm
I know you don't need me, and I don't necessarily need you, but I look back to when we were best friends, and..idk, my life was easier. You give the best advice, not going to lie, lol.
Luke Strawn 11:26 pm
You're a smart girl, and I wish you the best. I'm happy for you and Santi, I am, because he's someone you really needed. I'm sorry that this ruined our friendship, but it wasn't the dating that did it. It was me opening my eyes to see how you truly act.
Shannen Murray 11:27 pm
You never thought of me as a bitch before, and I wasn;t. MMichael fucked me over, and I took it out on you.
I did change.
Luke Strawn 11:27 pm
No, don't even try to blame that on Michael, because it wasn't Michael that brought out the worst in you
Shannen Murray 11:27 pm
I'll admit that.
Luke Strawn 11:27 pm
You did change.
Shannen Murray 11:27 pm
BUt I'm trying to change back. I'm trying to grow up.
Idk, I sound really dumb,.
Luke Strawn 11:28 pm
But see, you don't even know what that means. And you won't until you're older. You see the life your sister has, and you think that's all there is to it. But there's not. There's so much more to "growing up" than you could possibly realize. Shannen, you are still a kid, with a kid attitude
Don't try and change that.
Shannen Murray 11:29 pm
I know that. But I've always been younger than you, you just never noticed it before, because I never let you see the real me, becuase I looked up to you and I wanted you to still think I was a great person.
Luke Strawn 11:30 pm
I saw the real you. It was before you tried to impress me
And I should have realized it - we had different views on everything. Honestly, we really weren't alike.
Shannen Murray 11:30 pm
I know.
I realize that now.
We got along perfectly as friends though.
You have to admit that.
Luke Strawn 11:32 pm
We did.
Shannen Murray 11:32 pm
That's what I wish we had again. But we won't, becase I treated you like shit.
Luke Strawn 11:33 pm
Unfortunately, we won't. But you don't need me in your life. We have two different mindsets, and groups of friends. Honestly, Shannen, I don't think we'd be comfortable with each other hanging outside of school, even before we dated.
We both knew we wanted each other because of failing relationships. It was delusional.
Shannen Murray 11:34 pm
We were perfectly fine together before when you dated bri
And I was with michael.
And my mom was alive.
And everything was simple.
I know what you mean.
Luke Strawn 11:34 pm
Shannen, please don't bring your mom into this.
Shannen Murray 11:34 pm
I didn't mean to.
Luke Strawn 11:34 pm
It's fine.
Shannen Murray 11:34 pm
Sorry dear.
Luke Strawn 11:35 pm
Shannen, I don't know what the point of IMing me was. Maybe to get reassurance that I'd still talk to you? To find closure? I don't know.
We're not as close as we once were. I made a new diaryland after I deleted my old one.
And yes, I do still check up on yours.
But honestly, that's about it.
Shannen Murray 11:36 pm
I just wanted to see if you'd actually reply. To see if things were okay, or if you forgave me or anything.
Luke Strawn 11:36 pm
I haven't thought of you at all, except when I see you on facebook. No, I don't forgive you, and I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were. That's the plan, at least. You don't need me.
Shannen Murray 11:37 pm
I know you don't NEED me, and I don't NEED you. I've been trying to not NEED anybody as much, exce[t for like kelly and lexi and mason, but i'd LIKE it.
Luke Strawn 11:38 pm
I'm sure you would, but I'm sorry.
Shannen Murray is available 11:39 pm
Shannen Murray 11:39 pm
I know.
Luke Strawn 11:39 pm
I don't want to sound like a complete ass (though I do), but I honestly can't stand the way you act. I'm sure it's in part due to the fact that I've changed, but the giddiness and everything really ticks me. Shannen, you haven't matured, and I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with it. Maybe one day you will, I'm sure, but until then, I'm sorry.
Shannen Murray 11:40 pm
Okay. But yea, I am giddy and happy and hyper, and for some reaosn, people hate my happiness, but I'm not going to change that. My new year's resolution was to love my life, and I am.
Shannen Murray is available 11:41 pm
Shannen Murray 11:41 pm
Lol, I really didn';t notice how many peple would hate happiness.
Luke Strawn 11:41 pm
I'm glad you love your life, and there's no reason you should be sad and all proper/serious all the time.
It's not your happiness
Don't think it's jealousy, or envy, or just sheer annoyance of how happy you can make yourself out to be
It's the giddyness, the immaturity of it that just seems really really annoying and irksome.
Shannen Murray 11:43 pm
Yea, I know. It's like, you started noticing it when we began to be togehter constantly.
Luke Strawn 11:43 pm
I noticed it from the beginning, honestly.
I just pushed it out of my mind and ignored it.
Shannen Murray 11:43 pm
Oh, thanks..
Luke Strawn 11:44 pm
Shannen, I know I sound like an ass, but I'm not going to lie.
I ignored it because you seemed like a really fun person to be around.
But it's true. Your blatant refusal to accept anyone else's opinions/ideas, your judgment of others, and just your sheer hyperness
Shannen Murray 11:45 pm
No, you lied to me, you always told me you liked it.
I'm just stubborn.
Luke Strawn 11:46 pm
mhmm.
Shannen Murray 11:47 pm
Yea. So, I'm sorry.
I know you don't care.
BUt I am.
Luke Strawn 11:47 pm
It's fine. Really nothing you can do about it now.
Shannen Murray 11:47 pm
Heh, true.
Shannen Murray is available 12:02 am
1:28 a.m. - 2010-07-18
Recent entries:
And Such Is Life - 2019-08-20
In the Jungle - 2018-11-24
Gravity - 2018-09-05
Back it up - 2018-08-21
Last Post. - 2013-04-01
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