description: much like mankind's desire to destroy the sun, these questions have persisted throughout the ages
| 1. You are given the opportunity to address every human being on the planet simultaneously in a one minute television broadcast. It will be translated into every language and everyone is guaranteed to watch. What do you say? (all) |
| Bite me! *Bwhahaa that's my verbal equivalent of the middle finger to the world* |
| 2. You are granted the power to permanently anthropomorphize (give human qualities to) one thing or one type of thing (all tress, all cars, etc.). What's it gonna be? (all) |
| Toilets. Maybe if they're getting yelled at to do a courtesy flush, the goons in my hallway will keep the bathrooms a little cleaner. |
| 3. You messed up bad and you're on death row. What's your last meal? (all) |
| Dodo omelet. Moowahhahaa they'll never be able to make it and I'll live forever. |
| 4. Would you trade one year of your own life to bring back from the dead one random person that you don't know? (all) |
| Only if that year comes toward the end of my life. |
| 5. Conversely, would you accept one million dollars from a mysterious stranger if you knew that it meant that one random person that you don't know was going to die as soon as you accepted? (all) |
| Two words: $$Cha-ching$$. |
| 6. What's the greatest invention in human history? (all) |
| Pudding! I have an unhealthy obsession with that stuff. |
| 7. Your longtime fantasy of having dead wealthy relatives comes true, and you inherit one million dollars. The catch is that you have to spend it all tomorrow. What are your plans? (It breaks down to a bit less than $50,000 an hour) (all) |
| Buy everything I ever wanted and spend what's left over on the stock market. |
| 8. Everyone has one: What's your screenplay idea? (all) |
| The Simpsons meet the Flinestones! Think about it. |
| 9. Describe one event in your life in which you acted out of pure, good, selfless intentions. (all) |
| Filled out this survey. |
| 10. You find a magic pill which, when swallowed, makes you an instant expert or gives you unlimited skill in one and only one field of your choice. What do you choose? (all) |
| I choose the lucrative field of magic pill making. |
