Wife, mom....what happened to the saucy chick????

Sunday, Jan. 16, 2005

Alright, so it's been FOREVER since I've updated. So much has happened!!!

We moved into our new home, about 60 miles south of our originally home. It's not so new to me, as it's a town I hung out in when I was growing up (I lived in a small town outside of the one we live in now). So, I know my way around. The hard part is just getting to know people - luckily there are a lot of couples our age and most all have children, mostly under 10 years old and a few Dylan's age.

So, the hard part hasn't been being a mommy - I've been loving that part. The bad days don't happen so frequently and when they do, I usually just pray or drink. Honestly. *lol* Alright, what I MEAN by drink is that, after Dylan goes down for the night, I'll have 1 mixed drink. O.k., so NOTHING that big of a deal really. Dylan stopped nursing at 6 months old so I don't have to worry about not having alcohol because of that fact.

So anyway, back to the hard part in my life. My husband. I love him dearly but the man is driving me insane - quite honestly. There are the obvious things that tick me off - like not helping out as much or not giving me a break. Argh! BUT, that I can handle and it doesn't make me sad.

What makes me sad is my DH saying that he would be more attracted to me (or maybe just attracted to me), if I lost weight. Omigosh - he did NOT say that. Oh yes he did!!!! And I lost it. I just felt heartbroken because let me tell you, there are things that I could EASILY not like about him but I don't even think twice about those things because I LOVE HIM. Yeah, LOVE - isn't that what it's supposed to be like? You love each other no matter what? I mean, it makes me wonder what would happen if something happened to me and I was disfigured or needed his help. Ouch, it just killed me to hear this.

So, that was over a month ago and I've been stewing over it and just can't get by this huge obstacle. He doesn't think this has anything to do with love - but to me, it does.

Well, I finally decided that we need to see someone unbiased....a professional (yeah, a quack!) to help us because we cannot seem to work through these things and communication is so hard for him. Of course, I feel like I am near perfect....but I'm sure that view won't last long once we get going at this counseling thing.

Whew....just writing this down helps. Of course, I wrote this L-0-N-G story about my marriage and sent it into Dr. Phil. Apparently, we aren't dysfunctional enough.....yet. *lol*

Alright, so a little about my pride & joy!!!!! Dylan is 9 months old and has had 3 ear infections, 2 colds and hand/foot/mouth disease in the last 5 months. Argh!! And I was so sure breastfeeding would help that....along with losing weight. Guess I was wrong on both parts!! Wicked twist of fate.....

Anywho, he is such a handsome little guy! He was crawling at 6 months and standing and cruising along the furniture at 8 months and I'm just waiting for him to walk - it's inevitable with how much he pulls himself up and stands. He's becoming what my husband calls a "mama's boy." But I don't mind - it's heartwarming to see him want me. Whew, so all my hard work at being a good mom is appreciated! HALLELUAH!!!!!!

Gotta run - I'm going to TRY to keep this updated more often. Somewhere to vent and leave a note if you like but nothing mean please. Mean people suck.

Here's a newer picture of my baby!!!! Isn't he just too cute!