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5:41 a.m. - 2022-05-01
Dream journal ( nightmare about insecurities)
I had a nightmare last night. It basically played on all my insecurities. Ugh it was horrible. I dreamt that me and my bf where at a party and this pretty girl befriended me only to hit on my boyfriend and lure him away from me and he fell for her. He was charmed by her and didn’t wanna leave the party. I was upset so I left and he stayed which made me really sad and left me stranded with no ride home. I felt so betrayed by both him and the girl who I thought was interested in being my friend. Then as I was looking for a place to stay that night because my boyfriend left me, my sister said to the church ppl that somehow where at the party too, that if I didn't switch Boyfriends so much I wouldn’t have this problem. Ugh 😑 I felt beyond betrayed by her and embarrassed. It was bad in the dream I just felt so alone. First my lover and then my own sister betrayed and embarrassed me.

I woke up thinking about how this reveals my deepest fears and insecurities. Yesterday was a good day but you always have things that you don’t speak about in front of others and a lot of that happened yesterday. It was interesting 🧐 but revealing and felt like a social and mental sort of walking on a tightrope Experience.

I don’t think I Could ever do a threesome
Because I don’t want my bf to ever leave me and want someone more then me. That’s my first insecurity. Secondly there’s the church bit in which I will always be considered promiscuous in their eyes. Third, is the insecurity about the way my sister perceives me and her betraying and embarrassing me.


😔 sigh

Things to work on and thru in my relationships.

 

 

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