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the grand master plan (08.18.03 - 10:18 pm)

My grand master plan:

1. To finish my insomnia film

which oddly, I have had the past couple of days. The other night, I went to sleep at 6am and woke up at 10am. I was hella tired.

2. To finish ONE of my scripts in progress.

3. To pay off my American Express card

4. Move to the east coast and shoot the aforementioned script

5. After having my debt under control, move to New York

6. Try to get a production deal, work for comedy central in some aspect (preferably comic writing. I think I am just destined for comedy central) or something of that flavour.

7. If all else fails, move to Canada or London and just become an editor at an editing house.

Question for guys in the house: If you could give yourself a blowjob, would you do it? Would you leave the house?

***************************************

I had an "argument" or maybe the better term is "heated debate" with my friend cyndy.

She said that my friendships with the opposite sex or platonic relationships, in essence, were fake.

Apparently, they are fake for one or two reasons:

1. At one point in time, said male friends have been attracted me, forged a friendship for this reason and somehow fucked themselves into the "friend zone" (I highly doubt this option)

2. I am the 'ugly' girl with the personality, hence I am cool to hang out with and I quash any sexual notion of wanting to go to bed with me because of said ugliness

Although, I highly doubt that option one is true, I don't like that I could possibly be option 2. This heated debate (as with all heated debates) turned into a raised voiced argument wherein I actually said "YOU DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" which is the lamest retort but maybe I should mention some alcohol was, indeed, involved

Further, she argued "there is no way a guy would allow you to be close to him unless he was attracted to you in some shape form or manner. Ultimately, your friendship is doomed and the brother thing is a front. If you were to say "I want you right here right now" and were really aggressive about it, hands down, they would do it."

I don't think so. Actually should I be offended if they didn't agree to sleep with me? I mean, if I asked one of my guy friends "Hey, if I asked you, would you sleep with me?" and they said "Hells no!", how should I feel about that? What if the guy in question wouldn't sleep with me EVEN under some sort of influence? (which, admittedly, I have used in the past) Does that mean I am unattractive? What if he said "No, because i respect you too much" is that just a way to reject me gently? dear lord.

I just opened a can of worms.

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