I know I haven't been around in awhile, and I'm sorry. I'm in the process of setting up a new internet connection.

Anyway, quick update. I was doing okay for awhile but I am slowly slipping. I miss my baby so much. I'd be 6 months now.

Eben and I are talking about moving back in together and starting a family, but he's so busy it's hard to figure things out. He was in Canada for a month, and we've seen each other a total of 6 hours in the past 6 weeks. Things have slowed down with Gabe though, after things got very deep for awhile. His sister is pregnant, and I am happy for her but also incredibly jealous.

My friend Christy tried to kill herself as well...and of course I wasn't there for her. I was buried in my own problems. Still am.

I'm not sure what's worse: being obsessed with food and weight or being obsessed with a dead baby and becoming pregnant again. Both seem equally suffocating at the moment.

Hopefully my next entry won't be as dreary and methodical...