A State of Perpetual Confusion

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I wrote this at 10:20 a.m. on Friday, Jul. 31, 2015

<< ten years later... >>

Ok, so ten years later I have reunited with my diaryland page! Cant believe this site is still running! I am now married with an 8 month old baby girl! It's so funny to see this great time capsule of my teenage years!

Closer To Innocence and now Gaining Insanity

All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me I'm talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I've been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, how I used to be How I used to be Well, I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell

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And if you're taking a walk through the garden of life What do you think you'd expect you would see? Just like a mirror reflecting the moves of your life And in the river reflections of me Just for a second a glimpse of my father I see And in a movement he beckons to me And in a moment the memories are all that remain And all the wounds are reopening again We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers And as you look all around at the world in dismay What do you see, do you think we have learned Not if you're taking a look at the war-torn affray Out in the streets where the babies are burned We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers There are time when I feel I'm afraid for the world There are times I'm ashamed of us all When you're floating on all the emotion you feel And reflecting the good and the bad Will we ever know what the answer to life really is? Can you really tell me what life is? Maybe all the things that you know that are precious to you Could be swept away by fate's own hand We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers When you think that we've used all our chances And the chance to make everything right Keep on making the same old mistakes Makes untipping the balance so easy When we're living our lives on the edge Say a prayer on the book of the dead We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers We're blood brothers, we're blood brothers