It's been eight years since my last entry. Fuck! I don't even know why Diaryland suddenly popped back into my head tonight, I think it's because I'm listening to Embrace and that seems to take me back to the time I was on here and woooooahhhh memories are flooding back! Everyone's notes to me are still on here. I don't even know if anyone is still on here. My heart broke a bit when I saw messages from Jessie, (R.I.P. angel <3)
My diary had a password to it and when I finally hacked my way back in it was just to see that I'd apparently deleted every single entry I ever wrote and to say I was leaving! Nooooo! I wanted to have a really good nose back over the past!
Ah well.
Things are pretty different from eight years ago. Jesus. The relationship I was in with Russell lasted a turbulent 7 years, some major ups and downs, more downs if I'm honest, a bazillion break ups and make ups and now when I look back I get angry at seeing just how manipulated I was and just how much of my time and energy I wasted on that.
I am now in a relationship with a wonderful man, Adam. He is my best friend, truly. I've known him since 2008 as a friend but it wasn't until 2011 we got closer and fun times turned into love and who would have known he'd be the man I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. We are currently in the process of buying a house! A beautiful house. We are being held up by solicitors and the vendors dragging their feet with certain documents at the moment. I won't be able to fully relax until we have that exchange date for definite. We have two beautiful cats who are one next week! They are my babies, my actual babies. Me, loving cats. what! I've known I wanted to marry Adam since before I even knew I loved him. One day, soon maybe ;)
I still have M.E. Twelve years it's been now. I deal with it a lot differently now. It still affects me a great deal but I now push through a lot of the time and just get on with life as best I can. I cannot work properly; I do secretarial work for Adam's company which is very part time. I got qualifications in reflexology, indian head massage, pedicure and hopi ear candling and my plan is to set up my own holistic business from home once we have the house, so I can work freelance and part time when I am in charge of my hours :)
I have a new autoimmune liver disease too, which is quite frightening but I'm assured it's under control and unlikely to progress, but we'll see. Thats the nature of the condition for it to progress and worsen so let's all keep our fingers crossed eh. It doesn't bother me too much apart from I get a bit martyr-ish
about people drinking, which I shouldn't I know, but I can't help it. I have a ticking time bomb in my liver and people are allowed to abuse theirs as much as they like :)
But life is good. Life can still get me down a lot; who wouldn't being alone most of the time and still feeling pretty horrendous most days, but life is so good over all. I am so happy. And such a different girl to who I was. It is pretty spectacular :)
10:37 p.m. - Saturday, Apr. 25, 2015
Recent entries:
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