siren-sound's Diaryland Diary

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For better

I stood there and heard the words, "for better or worse" come out of your mouth. This is where my confusion falls. It seems like such a big commitment at the time, and I feel like an idiot that it was just something you did cause you were just young and stupid. And now, my heart has been spun around, played with and it's also just very confusing. Maybe it's just an evolution of your life, and maybe it's you moving on, but this land of maybes is tough for me to navigate. They keep popping up like a wack a mole, and knowing you probably aren't giving a second thought is debilitating.

I question my stature as a friend, a person and sometimes as a good human. There's a lot to question when there is only one set of ears to have the thoughts bounce in between. If I only knew where I went wrong, your story or just that you gave up, I would be happy with that. But this limbo is bullshit.

So, I hereby am throwing my white flag up and bowing out. I will still wonder and still be confused, but I won't talk to you anymore. I am done failing at that. My heart can't take it, and I don't know how to completely separate you. It'll have to be a slow and painful peel and maybe the pain will be over.

10:31 a.m. - 2019-06-07

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