..::02.01.2020::..
I have been writing more lately. I was reminded of this space. I believe in signs. Here goes.

Two things.
1. this ends positively
2. Spoiler alert for maleficent 2

The thing is if you don’t have kids you forget that every Disney movie kills off the mom. If you’re trying to use a movie to escape the death of yours, that can be brutal. But maybe not a bad thing. Maybe necessary.
I got a bracelet on the Disney cruise that asked me to make a wish. (It was the sweetest.) When the bracelet broke in two, the wish would come true. The kid in me. The hopeful one. The one that defies reality sometimes couldn’t help but wish she’d come back. I had a back up wish since I knew that was cheating. And unfair. And unlikely to come true. I had my dad tie the knot since he has good luck in many things overall and my parents instilled superstition in me.
The bracelet knotted, I asked him to trim the excess. He did. He did not cut the knot. Almost immediately, the bracelet dropped to the floor. I decided the second time the first wish was not a healthy nor reasonable one and repeated the second wish.
I came home tonight to a package she’d sent before she left (forever). She’d misaddressed it so it took extra time to deliver. I knew I’d have a meltdown if I looked inside and I had little time before meeting people. I had no self control. I had to know what was in the box.
I opened the box and on top were 3 pounds of my favorite coffee from home. Something I was almost out of and was going to order today. Better yet a shower curtain of lemons I’d ordered and a floor mat that says “squeeze the day”. (There was also a sports bra and tank top I’d left which brought levity). It was both lemons being made lemonade. A hug. And the phoenix rising of my mother and wishes coming true in kind of a strange, but wonderful way.

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