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2006-09-05 - 7:18 a.m.

The Last Hurrah

I am revisiting 'The Breakthrough' by Mary J. this morning, prompted by iTunes' weekly splashpage that reminded me she is alive and still awesome. Thanks iTunes. 'Be Without You' kicks my ass.

The only thing that's shaken me from my lax bloggery this day is the state of extreme procrastination in which I find myself. Well, really that and the longing for various Minnesotans or displaced East Coasterners who I met in Minnesota and miss. Coincidentally, many of us blog to middling success, save only Maven, who blogs to great critical acclaim. She's a punk, but we love her.

Anyway, I'm about to come to terms with my laziness about the blog, my procrastination, and my frustration that DIARYLAND WILL NOT RETURN ANY OF MY EMAILS FOR HELP OR ATTENTION DESPITE THE FACT THAT I PAID THESE BITCHES TOO MUCH MONEY TO CREATE A JANKY LOOKING DIARY PAGE THAT I COULD NOW CREATE IN MY SLEEP, ONLY IN CUTER FASHION AND WITH AS MUCH FUNCTIONALITY BUT FOR FREE SO SUCK MY LIMP ONE!!!!!!!

Ooooo. . . sorry 'bout that. I'm just pissy this morning, and they're wankers. Anyway, I need to spend much time writing a thesis, and no time pouring nothings into a blog, so this will probably be the last entry at Diaryland. Travelinman out. I'll be sure to post an addendum that let's y'all know the link of my webpage. You may never read anything interesting there, but you can hire a kickass countertenor or do a little singin' yoga by following the link. Are you salivating for it yet? ;)

Oh yeah, and it's 7:24am and I've been in this coffee shop for an hour. My alarm went off at 5am because my crazy husband (who is not in the least a morning person but needs to get up early to train rich financial district fatties) needs a real person to wake him up and not a digital shove. Being the willing morning person that he is not, I am happy to oblige him. Plus, I can usually get booty, since it delays his exit from the cocoon.

Other things that amuse me this early morn are:

--The totally heinous SBD that the dude next to me just ripped when he sat down with his scone and latte. He's a completely regular Midwestern-tourist-looking guy, nicely dressed, and obviously not the type to fart willy-nilly. Thus, I must assume (ha hahah hee hee ha!!!) that it sneaked out whilst he lowered his buttocks to the chair. We've all been there--it sucks, but what you gonna do? Blog about it, that's what! (sidenote: did you know that the past tense of 'to sneak' is not 'snuck,' which is a made up word, but 'sneaked,' which sounds fake and wrong?)

--Memories of my Labor Day textathon with Reinje, which actually started on Sunday with her random, "Wearing big hat. Driving to Hamptons." After laughing myself through Sunday with that one, I decided to respond, and it launched yesterday's barrage. The subject matter was celebrity sightings she was snagging wending her saucy way through NYC. She got Kevin Bacon, Mandy Patinkin, and then the 'hat trick,' as she described it, with Cynthia Nixon (is she or isn't she a lesbian? please help.) I did my part by sending back witty responses that included spot-on appearance-related assessments of the wild creatures that were inexplicable to her, since I have never seen them and couldn't know. What I explained was that I DO know, because it is one of my mundane superpowers to know all things about the rich, famous, and trivial. So there. Reinje's awesome.

--My friend Suelabelle, working out with me and Joey in a 'Girls Train Harder' tank that she bought at a lesbian street fair on Sunday. Funnier still--Suelabelle is not lesbian, nor is she a girl, but rather a straight woman of 50 who looks about 29, and moves better than most of the fitness center meatheads who were surrounding her yesterday. I had to chuckle when she was straining and grunting in this weird tricep extension, shoulder raise, decline pushup, ab circuit that Joey was inflicting upon us, and a meathead turned to me and said, "Dude. . . " I chuckled and said, "Dude!" Har har, hee har.

Ok, that's it. Mary J. and I are going back to work, and so I bid you ah-dyoo. Please read here sometime in the future for one last post.

Love and kisses,

TM

Wearing: a "Sex, Drugs, and Christian Rock" t-shirt
Word of the Day: sneaked
What's Next: dogged research

1 Chirpin' Birds

Maven - 2006-09-05 12:51:40
Bitch, who you callin a punk? Bitch.
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