messages to alifewithin:
(click here to add new message):

from silentletter :
everything is great...still with the same boy! it's been 3 1/2 years now...we live together now, have actually for about 9 months...I just finished my freshman year at college in Denver... what's new with you? how are you?
from thelongreign :
I just want to say that I'm really proud of you. You a very intelligent and strong young woman, and I had no doubts you'd find your way. never stop looking for new and better paths.
from lerin :
Just caught up with you... I've been thinking about ya!!!
from thelongreign :
I'm always here to listen babe. And I'm telling you, regardless of how much people in your everyday life don't want to hear it...I have no judgements about someone I do not know. Feel free to complain or gush or anything else. That's what friends are for.
from lerin :
My beautiful girl... don't do this to yourself. xo
from thelongreign :
A cheater is not always a cheater...but if someone has cheated on you...and you have forgiven them...and taken them back....without some DRASTIC occurance to change them or you...they will continue to cheat on you. If they have cheated in PAST relationships, this is no indicator of how they will act in future endeavors. Put the blade away. Look at yourself in the mirror...realize you are young and this too shall pass. I understand, I do...but if I had done HALF the damage I had intended...who knows how things would be now.
from ashnwesten :
Once again, I know exactly how you feel.. You're smart to see all of this and not let it get any further.. And you write so well. :)
from explicitsoul :
Hey I know I never comment but I always read and I felt compelled to say something.I once wrote something entitled pieces, I think you have such a beautiful soul and so much promise and that you should never just give away your pieces. I want to let you know that you are not alone, I have been in the same place where I would be with someone just because I didn't want to be alone. You need to realize though that you are so special and that the people you let in your life should be worthy of you. So ask yourself a question before you give away a piece of yourself.....Are they worthy of it? Pieces Before we go any farther there is something I need you to understand. Before we get intimate I need you to understand, that Iím not one to just jump into bed itís not about love and itís not about you respecting me or me just not being easy. I just want to give you a piece of me. I need you to realize that I need you to get meÖbecause we wont just be fucking and it wont just be sex, youíll be inside of me in more ways than one because in order for you to obtain a piece of me I need to obtain a piece of you. So donít think that Iím just teasing you, or trying to control you. That Iím just playing one of those games to try and make you want to stay. Only you can truly decide if thatís what you want. All I want from you is a piece of you. Something that when itís over and all is said and done ... Iíll be able to look at and think that even though I donít have you or if I never even did have you I still once upon a time had a piece of you. And even though you donít realize it you will always have piece of me. So donít think when I say weíre not ready for that step that its about love, or respect or me trying to not be easy its only about me making a trade with you for a piece of you for a piece of me. Would it be better if let you inside with no depth and understanding of one another. Is it better to just use one another for sexual gratificationÖknowing that it will still leave us in wanting. Yes, there will be a moment of content but that is all it will ever be, a moment. And when that moment is over we will still be left with wanting for more and the realization what you were really reaching for was a piece of someone else. So is it wrong for me to want a piece of you? To try to get below some layers and have a deeper understanding? Or shall we join the crowd and participate in the trends of fucking?
from lerin :
You are so precious... such a wonderful young woman. You are better than all of that, and you deserve more. I'm sorry you are hurting. ((HUGS))
from ashnwesten :
I know *exactly* how you feel. I don't know what else to say other than I think it is somewhat normal and is a stage people go through..
from ashnwesten :
It wouldn't have. It would have only been worse.. much, much worse.
from lerin :
Thanks for telling me about the IP address, it helps my paranoia! I can't decide whether to be happy that I fit into them finally, or sad because I still have such a long way to go! You'll bounce back quickly, I know it. I don't know why it's been so hard this time for me... I think it's a combination of having a *third* baby and getting older!
from ashnwesten :
Good for you.. I hope you figure out what you need/want. I'll have an e-mail coming soon.
from lerin :
I truly believe this is for the best, but I am sorry for the sadness that will come with it.
from lerin :
Oh no... you shouldn't have to be your boyfriend's mother. That will totally hurt your relationship in the long run. :(
from ashnwesten :
Oh wow, you're right.. Our situations are VERY similar. Scary almost. :) I have no advice to offer you, since I'm in the same boat. :)
from thelongreign :
it's interesting...you say "I told him" Problem is that you just can't be telling him what to do and expect him to DO it. I had a husband that didn't work with...and it won't work with Justin either. He has to WANT to be honest. and jumping his ass all the time isn't going to make him WANT to be. It will just encourage him to keep up with the halftruths. I wish you two luck and keep my fingers crossed for you. I think you are great and deserve the best...but constant mistrust isn't the best. You either need to just trust him, and hope he deserves it...or let it go. But constant reporting back where he is at all times will never work for either of you. He'll come to resent you...you'll keep not trusting him...It's a nasty cycle that I've played out too many times.
from ashnwesten :
That is so weird... We had a talk today too!
from lerin :
Just caught up with you... I am glad you are feeling better! I got a package from you in the mail, but I am saving it until the baby shower. :) Thanks SOOOOO much for your little note and for sending things for my kids on their special days. It really means a lot to me. I just wish you weren't so far away!
from ashnwesten :
Good to see an update. :) I'm glad Kim's helping you! And great job in school!
from ashnwesten :
Thank you SO much for your note.. You really have no idea what it means to have someone understand!!!
from lerin :
POOR thing!
from ashnwesten :
I have that same desire. It can come in many different forms, though.
from lerin :
Yaya, I am caught up with you now! :)
from lerin :
I can't, for the life of me, remember your password. Send it to [email protected]
from ashnwesten :
Wow, congratulations! You are amazing girl!
from lerin :
YAY! Great job. You shouldn't be surprised, though... you are SO intelligent. :)
from ashnwesten :
She is just trying to get to you. SHE is not happy with how it turned out, or she wouldn't even be making comments like that! If she was really happy with her life, she would have moved on and not given a care to you or Justin. And certainly she wouldn't be making stupid, mean comments.. That just shows she's completely jealous of his feelings towards you. I'm glad you got the text, because otherwise, that would have put him in a hard situation I'm sure!
from ashnwesten :
Are you ok???
from emaciana :
could i have your password please? i found you through lerin.
from ashnwesten :
We all have those days. Relationships are about loving each other regardless.
from lerin :
I don't think anything is "wrong" with you. I was on the pill for about nine months, and I got *extremely* depressed, slept 10 hours and still felt exhausted, gained 10 pounds, and broke out like I was 13 again. Once I stopped taking it, I went back to normal in a few weeks. It does mess with your hormones... that's the point... so it could be that. (You know I am anti-Pill and probably biased, but I'm just telling you what happened to me.) On top of the fact that you are under a huge amount of stress and still experiencing pain over this relationship.
from myself--asis :
The guy I was seeing at the beginning of the year used to have to hear me fall asleep on him A LOT. The reason I didn't want to let him go though was because I slept better drifting off to his voice. You just put Justin at ease. I know it's frustrating...but take it as a compliment. He loves you and wants to fall asleep to you. (lol see what a little spin can do??)
from myself--asis :
you keep focusing on her. I think that it's all well and good to feel some resentment towards her...your focus is kind of off. He is the one who made a promise to you. He is the one that violated that promise. And, I know it's painful...but honestly Winnie, it's minor babe. It could be so much worse. Hopefull this was an indiscretion that allowed him to get whatever out of his system. He was going through something. Going from High School to College is a huge transition. I'm sure that part of him was scared of the change...and part of him was just kind of...brain dead. He made his choice. You won. She lost. She has been humiliated by it, I'm sure. Know she's suffered. And if she hasn't learned her lesson...there will be plenty of hurt down the road for her. The best revenge is a life well lived, darling. Breathe, be happy.
from ashnwesten :
I know exactly how you feel. You HAVE to go through these feelings.. and know that they WILL ease with time. Try not to let it consume you.. No one likes to hear about their mistakes.. Just keep focusing on the good and the positive.. YOU have him.. He loves YOU.. He did NOT mean to hurt you.. and you CAN forgive him.
from ashnwesten :
Have fun!!
from lerin :
I'd never, ever, ever. I promise. Don't forget, I'm in Tulsa this week and the ISP is cox.net just in case something weird is going on with your stats from my end!
from lerin :
AH! Did you change it again or am I typing it wrong? Email me, girl.
from explicitsoul :
[email protected] I saw the name alife within and started reading and now Im hooked I've been reading your diary for about 2 months now
from myself--asis :
password??
from explicitsoul :
Can I puhlease have your password.....puhlease
from ashnwesten :
I need your password!!! [email protected] Thanks :)
from lerin :
Locked?!? Email me at [email protected]
from wish4friends :
I wrote an unsent letter myself at http://unsentletter.diaryland.com/09202006.html
from wish4friends :
It's so nice to hear you found love .. its a wonderful thing .. lost love and then found again is even better I'm sure ..
from myself--asis :
long-ignored....turned head-unbowe...now this. But soon, all of those will be in one journal. (thelongreign)
from myself--asis :
You know...let me give you some advice after having the history I have with my husband. You can't throw it up in his face. For two reasons a) he will stop being honest with you. and b) he will begin to resent you. You have chosen to take him back. It is NOT easy and won't be...but you have to let it go. Vent here in your journal, vent to your friends, family....but don't punish him for being honest enough to end it with you. At least he didn't cheat on you babe.
from wish4friends :
I think you sound pretty great
from lerin :
Thank you so much for the adorable Pooh blankie for Isabella! I took pictures of her playing peek-a-boo with it. I'll try to post them today.
from lerin :
No matter what anyone else says, you do have to follow your heart.
from lerin :
I'm glad she isn't reading here anymore... I am actually surprised that he ended it so abruptly with her and is just ready for things to go back the way they were. I do think you should keep him waiting... he has a lot to prove to you, to make up to you. That's just my feeling... I'm not you.
from javablues2 :
hey there, I've been reading your journal for about a month...and I've been through heartache, and it sucks...but, it will eventually get better...and you'll meet someone who will cherish you and appreciate you way more than justin ever did. stay strong! plus, my email is [email protected]'d like to read what your keeping private, but thats up to you if you want to give me your password since you don't really know me...either way, take care! - Liz
from lerin :
I emailed you, but I sent it to the diaryland addy. Did you get it, or should I try again and actually send it to the right place?
from ashnwesten :
Do you mind if I have the lock info for your private entries? My e-mail's [email protected]
from lerin :
You're welcome. :)
from lerin :
I'm laughing right now, and I'm sure you know why! Thanks for all of your comments on my archives. It's fun to revisit those, for the most part. I know we're good together... not perfect, but close enough. :)
from lerin :
Jason is right. I couldn't have said it better. You are getting through this. It hurts and it is hard... but you are doing it. ((HUGS))
from lerin :
You know I'd like to read everything you write. Email me at [email protected]
from lerin :
I emailed you! :)
from myself--asis :
of course you can email me. [email protected]
from lerin :
Ugh... I hope that by the time he's satisfied his "need" to be with others, that you will have already moved on to someone who KNOWS how special and extraordinary you are. That's disgusting... a complete lack of respect for you. Don't be someone's back-up plan... no matter how much you love him, no man is worth your dignity. PLEASE!
from lerin :
I absolutely love William Blake. :)
from myself--asis :
I will never tell you what to do...I will never assume to know what is best for you. I don't know you well enough...but this i know...No man is worth all this. That old saying "the one who is worth your tears will never make you cry" and yet anothe bit of wisdom Winnie..."NEVER make someone a priority who only makes YOU and option." And that's what he is doing...you are an option. The best revenge is a life well lived. How many more cliches can I shove into this box? lol The fact is, it hurts now...it does get better. Give yourself another week, maybe two...then find a nice guy to go out on a date with. You dont' have to fall in love. You don't have to not love Justin...you just need to create distractions.
from itwasalwaysu :
I know how tough it is trying to get over someone, its not easy, and there is always heartache.
from lerin :
I think it is so good that you have this plaace to write everything out. You are right... you can only be you... you were very good to him. And you know what? YOU ARE ENOUGH. For him, for anyone.
from lerin :
You did do everything you could... you didn't give up without a fight. He is the one who is losing, not you. I'm so sorry you are hurting so much, and I know he'll be sorry one day when he realizes just what he threw away. But YOU, you are not any less intelligent, beautiful, and worthy of everything you dream of just because he was too blind to see it.
from lerin :
That's horrible... he wants you to wait for him just in case he wants you back after he's tried some other people out first? Maybe that sounds really harsh, but you do deserve so much more than that. I hope he comes to his senses quickly.
from lerin :
I'm sending you lots of luck, hope, and love!!
from yami-angel :
I'm really sorry about what happened and hopefully everything will work out well for you.
from myself--asis :
oh babe, I'm sorry. I know that it hurts like hell...and I can't say that it won't always...no matter what happens in your life. But it does get better...it just takes a WHOLE lot of time and a LOT of distractions.
from lerin :
What a horrible reason to let go of something so good. I hope he'll be back. I'm sorry you are in such pain. It would be easier if you didn't both love each other so much. (((HUGS)))
from lerin :
I sent my password to you at 9:00 this evening. Let me know if you didn't recieve it!
from mylife--asis :
I am so glad that you did!!! Because of my advice? Wow, sometimes I guess it's not so bad that I stick my nose in. lol
from lerin :
I really think you are going to love college... you need more faith in yourself. You are wonderful, beautiful, intelligent. I hate nights like those. I hope you got some rest and things looked better in the morning!!
from myself--asis :
Honey, remember...it's never too late unless YOU decide it is. Make the move. Even if she rejects your efforts...you are both moving on with life in other areas...so, you won't be faced with the rejection. And...you might just get your friend back.
from littlelove4 :
Hi! I ran across your diary and have really enjoyed reading! I have added you to my buddy list.
from lerin :
I'm so glad that you had such a wonderful night! :)
from absdiet4life :
it sounds like you've experienced a lot of pain and hurt, I hope you find some peace .. you deserve it.
from beauthentic :
Hey hon, I wanted to let you know I will be closing down my diaryland site.. I have been on Xanga for several years, and I am going to stick with it, finding it too hard to keep up with both. My xanga is www.xanga.com/i_am_perfectlyimperfect or my email is [email protected] Much Love !! Talk to you soon (( Hugs ))
from kayrayne29 :
Hi! I have moved! Please follow me to: http://kayrayne.diaryland.com Happy reading!
from beauthentic :
Hi hon !! I am glad that you were able to have closure with Thien... I know what that is like, saying good-bye to someone. It's almost bittersweet. Take care of you !! Much <3
from lerin :
I associate that picture with myself SO MUCH that it is weird to see it on a book cover! Thanks for the link.
from beauthentic :
Hello! I just stumbled upon your diary, and I added you to my buddy list. I love your diary, the layout immediately drew me in. I am sorry that the person you wanted to come to the concert didn't come. I know the pain of feeling rejected or left. Add me to your buddy list if you want... Talk to you soon!! Have a good day today <3
from lerin :
Oh, you sound so upset! :( I'm too young to be a mom to a twelve year old, and I'm 24... so no suggestions on how to get her to do her part. But what I DO want to say to you: do the best that YOU can, you can't control your sister. And don't live off-campus, TRUST ME, it's just not the same. I know you've taken on responsibility for the house and you know how hard your parents work, but THEY are the parents, not you. It's so nice that you want to help your parents have easier lives. Maybe once you are in the dorms and she matures a bit, she WILL recognize how hard they work on her own. Good luck! :)
from lerin :
It is such a bittersweet time... cherish the memories and try to keep in touch as best as you can.
from lerin :
Did it work this time? Let me know if I need to email you again! :)
from lerin :
I emailed you with the info for my private folder. Good luck with senioritis.. you are thisclose to being done!!!
from jane-dreams :
Put this code in your template, after the <HEAD> code: <META NAME="ROBOTS" CONTENT="NOINDEX, NOFOLLOW"> It stops Google and many other search engines... I got a hit or two from some weird obscure site, but that code will stop the major ones. :)
from head-unbowed :
he's new. A little over a week new, in fact.
from head-unbowed :
well, sometimes it's easier to have a stranger read the private stuff. HA Email me...I'm not on everyday, but when I get it I'll respond [email protected]
from jane-dreams :
Oops! I sent an email to your diaryland address linked on your diary. I sent an email to the right place just now. :) Thanks for the note!
from jane-dreams :
I emailed you the password today. Don't worry, things seem to be just fine! :) Thanks for your note!!!
from kayrayne29 :
Why is my quote still pending?? :-( *pouty lips..*
from true-diamond :
I really liked your poem called I Miss You. Thanks for leaving it at the circle. TD
from true-diamond :
I really liked your poem called I Miss You. Thanks for leaving it at the circle. TD
from head-unbowed :
Here is what I think...if you are doubting if you were ready...then you weren't. Although you can't take back having done it...you can not do it again until you are ready. It's a nasty cycle to allow yourself to be persuaded over and over...and trust me, it doesn't stop.
from pink-circle :
Hey! Just because you don't have any recent inspiration doesn't mean you should cut The Circle from your life until you do. Not only do I want you to feel free to post your poetry, art work, photos, or creative writing, I'd also like to see you read others' posted work and add an entry about your thoughts for improvment or thoughts in general. (I'm writing everyone this, don't feel too special, lol.) ~Pink
from candoor :
the image of your diary inspired a smile, and music always attracts me, so i left this note to say hello and wish you a happy day :)
from head-unbowed :
my unsolicated two cents follow...You are too young and too beautiful to twist yourself up over a guy. Keep it all in perspective and you'll be fine...I have had a hard time of that in the past...which is why I'm just now, at 26, figuring out how silly my love for my high school "love" was/is.
from absdiet4life :
I hope you are doing well my friend.
from absdiet4life :
Thanks for the note, I'm feeling pretty great these days. I may use both (diaries) from time to time, but mostly the new one. Thanks for keeping me on your buds list. Take care.
from summersands :
.. I loved your most recent entry (8/7/05) .. a great read. Thank you.
from jane-dreams :
What a relief... I've been through that whole terrible "what if"-time waiting for results too. It is very scary and I am glad that you know for sure that everything is okay now.
from xmemorylanex :
hi . . . i don't know you but i just wanted to wish you luck with the tests, hope everything turns out okay. i like the layout - "fly me to the moon" by frank sinatra.
from summersands :
.. it doesn't stop at the teenage years either, that's just problem .. pain comes at all ages .. I'd like to think we all eventually find the happiness in life that we are looking for.
from pink-circle :
{Reminder} Hello Circle Member! Feel free to add your poetry to the circle, or your short stories, or even photos... :) Are you on the newsletter? I forget who is and who isn't... If not, note me your e-mail and I'll add you. ~Pink
from summersands :
.. thanks for leaving me a note, I sure wish I could read your diary. I hope you're doing well .. have a great weekend.
from long-ignored :
what didn't hit me like a ton of bricks was what I already know. That he's what I want.
from pink-circle :
not entirly. There's a new event, check it out, and add to it if you can
from long-ignored :
Yeah...it's just a white page. And it says "done"' at the bottom. It's always done this to me...
from long-ignored :
why can't i get to your journal when I try to read it?
from long-ignored :
you know...I was thinking that too...I changed it. Let me know what you think. THanks for the note
from yami-angel :
I've ran into all sorts of things. I'm such a klutz. Thanks, I'll have lots of fun.
from invernal :
I would love to give you my LJ addy: http://icyred.livejournal.com
from pink-circle :
Well, whenever your mail bounces, send it to [email protected] Then, leave me a note letting me know you did so - because I only check that mail when I know there is something to check. Okay? Oh, and btw, I know you're a ways away on the story list, but make sure you're ready when it's your turn - some people are taking way too long for something that should take about 15minutes. ~Pink (be ready! mwahhahahha)
from pink-circle :
Winnie, I donno if I got the e-mail or not, because I'm not at home and I can't check my e-mail from here. I've only gotten two poems so far. It's not exactly a contest, but we should have one of those sometime soon. :) If it bounced back to you, try sending it to [email protected] and let me know when you sent it, and if it worked. :) ~Pink
from pink-circle :
Hey, are you interested in working on the collaborative story? If you are, note back and just let me know. :) /collab.html explains what is going on so far. :) ~Pink
from pink-circle :
Next chat: Monday at 7pm eastern time. I hope to see you there. http://pink-circle.diaryland.com/voteforit.html >>Vote for the next writing workshop subject- there are a lot of great suggestions this time. :) Hope to hear from you. ~Pink
from pink-circle :
Hey, are you still interested in being part of the cirle? If so, leave a note to this account. I'm thinking we should start meeting once a week in the diaryland chats. ~Circle
from yami-angel :
I'm sorry but I have a really dumb question. The only part of your diary that shows up on my computer is the scrollbar. Is this just my computer being dumb?
from yami-angel :
Hey-lo! I saw that you added me so I added you back. Thanks for adding me, BTW.
from shiami :
Thanks for messaging me. I didn't mean to be so late replying, but I haven't updated as much as I used to. Just haven't had a lot to say as of late. But so you know, I have made a username/password for you. Just enter Guest as user, and Shiami as password. I never knew I had people who read my rantings so often.... huh... who knew?
from kokiden :
Hello, thank you for adding me as a favourite. I'll be reading through your diary too!
from for-you-only :
Welcome to the circle diaryring - by your entry you signify your wishing to be a member of the circle. Please visit the circle diary at http://pink-circle.diaryland.com.

back to alifewithin's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland

Recently updated
News
update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

Sign up for paid membership if you want!

Users online