messages to almostnormal:
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from bettyalready :
hi?
from bettyalready :
I just took "that" entry and posted it on my other place. I just made the other blog today... it's the very end of my buddy list on blogspot. I want to bitch and not have it SO obvious. My SIL reads and I'm sure it would be hard to be objective..and I think sometimes Spousal reads too. He's not going to look for it. I need to get it out and have SOME input...because otherwise I go crazy. HOW are you? I thought i might have your password but can't find it and been afraid to ask. I'm at [email protected]
from theflyingrat :
Sometimes I wish I was single too... MEN!
from almostnormal :
If there is anyone that wanted the password and I haven't sent it...I haven't checked my notes in FOREVER...so it's nothing personal. Email me at jennifer at atypicalva dot com and I'll hook you up. (Let me know your D-Land name)
from theflyingrat :
Good to hear from you! Congrats on the business thing, I'm glad to hear it is (they are) going well. ♥
from bettyalready :
hope you're OK! email me at tgunby AT gmail DOT com
from patientx :
Hey, sorry if this seems weird but I used to read your diary all the time and have had it on my faves for ages and I'd love password to continue reading if I could. :) You can email me [email protected] I promise I'm not too weird! ;)
from girle :
hi, i signed in for the first time in ages myself! I moved to myspace. let me know about your book, sounds interesting
from theflyingrat :
Congratulations on the business and yay for a green office! AND.. oh yeah! Good luck with the book (although I'm sure it WILL be wildly successful and you don't really need any luck).
from alwaysange :
I'm sorry you're going through this trying time right now and struggling. I feel for you. I will hope for a wi-fi cafe respite for you and I hope you don't consider leaving here. You have no idea what wonders a simple lock can do. :) Take care!!!
from dukkha-tanha :
I read the whole email. Ho. Lee. =)
from theflyingrat :
What a bitch! (Your ex-boss, not you of course!) You're going to do a great job with your own business, I'm sure. And I'm so glad Maggie's improving. Yay for everything! ♥
from dukkha-tanha :
My hat's off to you, hon, you are doing the best you can in an extremely difficult position. You're dealing with a situation that's way over your head and one that did not start with you. I agree with bettylaready who says it's hubby's problem to deal with, but on the other hand, you two are in this together and should work together. There's only so mucht hat you can do, though. Ya know? Let the professionals work on the big stuff. Losing a mom at a young age is probably the worst thing that can happen to a child, I know that since it happened to me. Having been there, I can tell you that I'd sooner lose one of my kids than have them lose me beofre they're grown. THAT'S the kind of impact it's had on me. It is monumental and will define her for much of her life. I read a book years ago called "Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman that helped me a lot and it might help you to understand what's she's up against. You know, if you ever have time to read considering ya got your plate full. And not to discount YOUR role in her life at all, because that's going to be very important, too. She's going to be needing her mom (you) more and more as she gets older. I don't know where I'm fucking going with this, except to say HOLY FUCKING CRAP, if I were you I'd be nuts by now and kudos to you for keeping it together as much as you have. =)
from bettyalready :
March 03, 2006 - 5:14 p.m. - This entry - Mags needs to know there is unconditional love no matter what. She needs to know that someone will love her unconditionally. I'm getting that she's acting out in a sexual manner, that comes from somewhere. She just doesn't make that stuff up. Where is that coming from? I haven't been reading up lately, but she just doesn't come up with that on her own. She is acting out for a reason and probably a very good reason. When you decided to marry and take her as your own, she is now yours, totally. It's kind of "me against her" and it should be "me and her, together, no matter what". Something has been done to her. No matter how adult she acts, she is not. She can have a smart mouth and she is smart, but she does not get it and won't for a long time. There is no way. She's a child. You're doing all you can and your husband seems to be burying his head in th sand. That is not right. But there's your kids and there's Mags. There's your kids and that includes Mags. Who is Maggie around? Do you have the talk w/ her? That no one should be touching her? Do you tell her you love her no matter what happens? No matter what happens, you love her and she is your child, in your eyes?
from bettyalready :
I feel bad for Maggie. I'm reading back. Where the hell is he for his daughter. No excuse. She's mature enough, but she does not have the cognitive maturity to know what's going on, even though it seems as though she does. You do what you have to do. She is not a bad person, she's angry and your husband needs to be the person dealing with her at this point, not you.
from bettyalready :
The only problem with medications of any kind is the liver problems, which is that way with anything. I'm on trileptal and that is the popular one right now. It's really expensive. I was thinking depakote-tegretol...stay away from tegretol. You're having a rough go of things and you could stand to get yourself some help if you haven't already. TRUST me when I say that getting yourself help doesn't mean anything than other than dealing with this whole mess...I wouldn't be dealing with it well. And where the hell is your husband in all of this? I haven't been up to date so excuse me. But Maggie's old enough to know you are not her biological mom. Your husband needs to step in with the discipline with her and you need to be able to step back. Something needs to happen where he's more involved. You were thrown into being mom and Maggie's a kid. She cannot reconcile this. She doesn't have the ability. She will not have the ability until she's at least 17. But YOU are doing something now to help her and you're a great person for doing this. Good for you! You are in a position that is so hard and again, where's the spousal unit?? If he's working, so what? You're working twice as hard as he is and it's way easier to be away from home to work than it is to work at home.
from bodega :
What is the medication for?
from i-never-said :
God, I hope people are not stupid enough to take away your kids...You are an excellent mother, and Maggie is having a hard time dealing with the loss of her mom, and her acting out is the only way she can cope with it...Have you thought about her living with her grandparents, temporarily, to see if her attitude improves?...I know she needs some kind of counseling before she goes to far-rebellion wise...My heart goes out to you, and I wish I could help...xoxo
from bodega :
I hope everything works out... feel free to vent if you need to!
from dukkha-tanha :
Well, I hope for the sake of you and your children that that doesn't happen, but you are not so much in the wrong for not being blind to the possibility. =)
from theflyingrat :
Hey. I am sure everything will be okay. I don't know what happened but you are a good mother, anyone with a brain could see that. ♥
from busymomof2 :
Hello there!! My name is Brianna. I hope you don't mind that I have been peeking in your diary. Just wanted to drop a quick note to say hi and you kids are beautiful..
from ladybugge :
So what happened with the dogs? Are they back home now, are they all right?
from xat :
Wait a sec'. How can the plumber not closing the gate and letting the pups loose be your fault? It's his fault, okay? Don't do that to yourself, darlin'. Hope that they're okay. Hope that you're okay. Chin up, eh? **!X.
from lostinmylove :
I hope the dogs are back. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Hang in there! ♥
from dukkha-tanha :
Whoa. Whoa! Holy crap. First, I don't think you're an evil step mother at all. You do a heck of a lot more for your step-daughter than I do for mine, that's for sure. If we were to have an evil step-mother contest, I would kick your ASS! What kind of ADD meds are they putting her on? You mentioned "tried and true" which makes me think ritalin. My son has been on concerta (time released ritalin) for four years and it has worked well for him. There's so many new meds out now, I don't trust them, at least they've been using ritalin since the 50's. We tried adderall for one week and I took him off of it because it totally turned him into a zombie. Anyway. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by her, it's going to be a long road but you can do it. =)
from theflyingrat :
(((hugs))) I don't know what else to say, I'm sorry! Hopefully she will get the help that she needs and this will all be figured out soon. ♥
from busymomof2 :
Hi. I hope you dont' mind that I have been lurking through your dairy. I am pretty new at this and just looking to meet some other moms. You sound like you have your hands full.. Have a great day.
from dukkha-tanha :
HA! Too late! I read your myspace blog before you told me not to. It wasn't stupid. Silly. If I could get an IV drip of Mich Ultra, well, honestly, I wouldn't do that because I would miss the taste. I can see why you are drinking one right now--your daughter! My goodness. =)
from xat :
Going-through-hell-times are never a lark. But they make the life-is-too-fabulous-to-believe-times more precious. Be brave, l'il buckaroo. You got mojo coming from the frigid Pacific Northwest. Oy! **!X
from dukkha-tanha :
Just so you know, if I were your mom, I'd be telling you every day that you should not be working right now! Even if you do work from home! You shouldn't be working! And I'd tell you that on the phone, and on the email, and dammit I'd even come to your house to tell you that. But i'm not your mom so I won't. =)
from dukkha-tanha :
I don't miss the newborn days. Fortunately, they don't last long. Well. That depend on your view of "long". A year really isn't that long. Unless you haven't gotten much sleep in that year. Then it's forever. I can't even remember when they started sleeping through the night. Look at it this way. In a few years, you'll have two little girls close in age and you'll never hear the words, "I have no one to play with". =)
from dynamita :
Hi! Congrats to Sadie! I bet she had a wonderful time with her cake! I`m sorry you are so tired. If I lived anywhere near, I`d come help you so you could nap for a bit. I really admire you for doing so much! I hope you have a nice day.
from theflyingrat :
I'll be right over! Haha.
from theflyingrat :
Yay money! I love technology too. AND money! :) I like the new layout also. I'm doing a whole lot of liking right now... it's so unlike me. ;) Oh right! Haha, the main reason I wanted to leave a note was to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY SADIE!! It's technically her birthday... just turned 12am! ♥
from i-never-said :
I laughed when I read your entry...Believe me, I had to count on my fingers to make sure I had it right!...I admire you for still wanting to have kids-I do believe Dylan is going to by the only one for us...Some people have the "multiple children" gene-I don't think I do...Good luck with planning Sadie's party-I spent a TON of $$ and all Dylan wanted to do was play with the tissue, and the bags...I also got Dylan a small cake that he could eat/destroy, whatever he wanted to do to it...That worked out pretty good, just an idea for you...Hope to see pics of Abby soon!...
from princess03 :
congrats!! i have been checking like everyday for a post and finally i see one. that's so exciting. i hope that all things go well for you and your little one. :)
from i-never-said :
IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!...Congrats to you...The stitches were the worst part of having a kid in my opinion...I had about 20, too...I know my OBGYN was done there stitching so much, I thought she was knitting some booties for Dylan!...So glad everything is going good for you...Yeah, stitches and sore boobs when the kid cries can be a real pisser...But, they're the greatest thing in the world-the kids I mean!...Much love to the family of 5!...xoxo
from theflyingrat :
Congratulations!!!! What does Sadie think of her little sister anyway? ♥
from alwaysange :
I'm glad you have your baby girl now! Yay! Congrats!!! Sounds not too bad. Hope you rest up (let daddy do the am feedings) and are feeling tip-top soon.
from dukkha-tanha :
YAY! Congrats! =)
from theflyingrat :
Good luck tomorrow! Or congratulations (in case you've already met your little one face to face)! Whichever applies... :) ♥
from glaube19 :
Hah, that's what I was going to say (most recent comment). How would he know grief if he didn't know anyone else? Plus, didn't the movie "Castaway" prove that wrong? Anyway, I'm sending you good baby-vibes, and congrats! As for the money, maybe you could sell any old stuff you have online? You'd be surprised how much each $20 adds up. I know you will think of something. Maybe you could sell your eggs? ;)
from theflyingrat :
If a man lived on an island with only books his whole life... would he even know anyone? And if he'd lived his entire life on an island (alone) - how would he know how to read? PLUS. I'm sending you baby-having-vibes. See? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ♥
from i-never-said :
I was induced, and it didn't hurt until I had to push his big ass head out of my pelvic rim!...I have the pain threshold of a gnat, and everyone said I handled well, and they were all impressed...Just don't forget to push the button on the epidural to keep pain away...I got to talking to people, and forgot and a contraction came along that was off the chart...That was awful...Once I received my pitocin(I was 2cm, and 20% effaced-how pathetic!), I had the urge to push about 3 hours later...Keep us informed as to what's going on, we're all anxiously waiting...And I know you are, too!...Oh, congrats to hubby!...
from dukkha-tanha :
If it helps any, I was induced once out of three births. I didn't find that it hurt any more than the non-induced births, it just came on quicker. She happened to be the biggest one, too, at 42 weeks. They estimated her at roughly 7 lbs, she was almost 9. It's kinda nice to know "roughly" when you're going to have the kid. Who knows, you might go sooner. I was scheduled to be induced for my son, but I ended up going into labor the night before. Good luck and have a nice healthy baby! =)
from dynamita :
Hello!!! I hope you have the baby soon, and all comes out well!! My best wishes for you and all your family!
from soxconfused :
I hope everything goes well with the baby! Hopefully she'll come out soon, for both your sakes. Congrats!
from theflyingrat :
Actually, you have to have a kid for at least 6 months to claim them on your taxes... but you probably knew that. What I wanted to say was, I went 2 weeks overdue with Riley and I asked my doctor if she thought castor oil was a good idea. She looked a little horrified and told me (over and over) that it wasn't safe. On the other hand, I know someone who actually tried it. It didn't hurt the baby but it didn't induce labor, either. She said she did get indigestion, though. ;)
from alwaysange :
Do it. Not only does it sound like it would be more convenient for you and yours, but if you pop her out before 12:00 am on New Year's, you can deduct her on your 2005 taxes. :) Happy birthing!
from theflyingrat :
Happy Due Date Day! Here's hoping your a new mother (again) before the year's out! ♥
from dynamita :
Hi! You haven`t updated in a while, and the best reason I can think of for this is that you had your baby!! I hope all is well. Good luck!
from alwaysange :
Do you have a new baby girl yet? I just noticed it had been seven days since your last update and I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
from dukkha-tanha :
So, you'll be having a Christmas baby too. Seems to be the thing to do this year. Good luck, and I hope the next time you update, you have (good!) baby news. =)
from dukkha-tanha :
The fact that you found my misery hilarious is actually very much appreciated by me. Because I went back and read it again and it is pretty funny. If you want a half built shed, I can send my husband your way and he can build it for you. He is not a carpenter and doesn't play one on tv, either, so he can provide you with the most hacked up, horrible half shed ever. =)
from dynamita :
Hi. It is a very good thing that you are not going to lie for your aunt. Also, GOOD LUCK on your new business!
from theflyingrat :
Well, yeah. I can see how the photos could just be something funny, if I didn't know my cousin. He lets his 2 year old use REAL guns. Not just elastic guns or bb guns but real guns with real bullets. He's not quite right, sometimes. *sigh* The booze thing though.. now THAT'S something I can relate to. Haha. A prude, I am not. :)
from theflyingrat :
You're moving so fast with this whole business thing. I think it will be good for you though. I just hope you don't overwork yourself. You know, even more than you already do. :) Sorry I can't help with a business name.. look what I named my diary. You don't want "thedyingcat" or anything, eh? ♥
from theflyingrat :
I would be COMPLETELY pissed off at Kent if he didn't call like that. Are you feeling okay? Schedule that ultrasound, woman! And then post the photo, okay. :) Feel better. ♥
from sandandfog :
You deserve to have a pity party any time you feel like it! I do it all the time..hehe. Husbands just don't get it. I wish they had to deal with morning sickness and the whole nine yards! Have a great day hon!
from theflyingrat :
I wonder that all the time: How did I get here??? I actually had a little identity crisis around the time I had my miscarriage. (I'm not sure if it was apparent in my writing or not.) I'm not sure how I ended up where I am now but I guess the only thing that matters is that I'm here. It's nice that you can look back on those things and realise the good in them. ♥
from starlight42 :
Congrats at the new job!! aww, your little girl is getting so big. btw, I love all the names you have for your girls. lastly, thanks for the note!
from dukkha-tanha :
Hey! Thanks for your note & the add. I am still cracking up about the thermos song coincidence. =)
from theflyingrat :
I like the name you chose. We usually family names for middle names too. :) As far as your hubby goes, I hope he gets it back on track soon. Sometimes the family needs to come before the individual, yeah? You're in my thoughts. ♥
from princess03 :
anna. it's just so great. :) maybe i'm biased because it's my name. however, there are not enough annas in the world, and if you are gonna raise a strong woman, that's a great start. :) haha, i don't know.
from dynamita :
Oh wow! You did this for me in the middle of your own meltdown. I OWE you. Really. I don`t know what else to tell you except to hang in there. Things have a way of solving themselves.
from dynamita :
ooohhh thankyouthankyouthankyou!! I am eternally grateful : )
from theflyingrat :
That entry made me sooo happy. Maggie sounds like she is coming around. That makes me incredibly glad for you... I seriously felt like doing a little happy dance. ♥
from theflyingrat :
Listen. You're overwhelmed. You've got a daughter who acts like you're not important, an infant who needs you practically around the clock, you're 6 months pregnant and adjusting to your husband's new job. The last thing you need is someone like your cousin playing off your insecurities and fears. Kicking her out on her ass doesn't make you a bad person. If she's got a way to make a living and she's still just piddling around in your house because you let her - she's never going to leave. You are not being selfish for wanting your kids to grow up in a stable environment. Mandy doesn't appear to be all that stable. I think it's great that you care about her so much but she will never change unless you force her too. I hope I'm not being too pissy about it, I really care about you and I don't want to see you getting crapped on this way. E-mail me if you need to. I'll even give you a # to call if you want it. ♥
from dynamita :
Hey!! Repeat after me: It`s OKAY to be selfish. Its OKAY to be selfish, It`s OKAY to be selfish. I`m not saying you should sit down and whine and moan and order everyone around. Just be selfish enough to be you -a happy, well balanced you. Listen, I don`t know why we have this idea that nice, good people please everyoone, and help everyone and are totally selfless. Think about it. NOBODY can be totally selfless. Its okay to be selfless when you donate money for the katrina disaster. But really, even the word says it: being selfless means losing yourself. And people who lose themselves are bitter unhappy people. Do not bite into grandma`s guilt trip of selfishness. If she is so selfless, what is she doing to help your cousin? She can take your cousin if she wants to! Its really easy to point your finger from the outside, on your comfy life. YOU ARE NOBODY`S OPINION. Not your grandmother`s, not your cousin`s, not your daugther`s. You are not responsable for anybody`s decisions, or anybody`s depression. I think ladybugge is right. Your cousin is doing this because she can. Period. Guilt? What guilt? If anything, you should be proud of yourself for not allowing your cousin to be that way anymore.
from dynamita :
I agree with you about the fact that people should live by themselves. It totally gives you another sense of being. About the guilt thing... (in my OPINION) I think you are making more damage to her by being so condescending and letting her get her way and not do anything. Remember you can only help people who WANT to help themselves. Try feeling guilty for letting her get her way and staying in that rut she is in, instead of feeling guilty because you need your space. (Uhm this is only my outside opinion, of course I don`t live there, and probably can`t see the whole picture)
from wonderchai :
aetna's the better choice for insurance. i had so many health and physical problems last year and they are the sweetest most wonderful people to deal with on the phone and aside from that, the coverage is great. :) just thought i'd stick an opinion in there. :)
from xat :
*grin* Gave up gin in high school...tequila? At any rate, if I ever figure it out, I'll be shoutin' from the rooftops. In re: fingerless gloves; as soon as I get both done (so we can all wallow in the wonder o' them) I promise a picture. After this, the knit uterus and Fallopian tubes doll that I've been promising Hiss&Tell I'd make...**!X.
from hissandtell :
Oh, I so enjoyed your musings on exes. Sometimes I think my whole diary (if not my whole life) is just one long exercise in occasionally indulging my "how did I get here?" ponderings, via all my exes and what I learned from them. I often think of Al Stewart's song "Love Chronicles": "Of all the girls I ever knew, some loved and some denied me / And all the words I ever said have been no use to hide me / And all the songs I ever sung, each one of them untied me / And all the girls I ever loved have left themselves inside me". Love, R xxx
from dynamita :
Hi I love your Diary. I just wanted to tell you, you are really admirable. I love your attitude.
from i-never-said :
I felt kicks down by my pubic area as well...Not a pleasant feeling, I might add...Sounds like you are carrying pretty low, and the old wife's tale says that if you carry low-it's a boy...It was sooo true for me...Don't worry, it's perfecly normal to feel them that low...
from alwaysange :
I'm no doctor, but I'm hoping everything is okay with this pregnancy. I wonder if you're having a boy - they say you carry boys lower....
from theflyingrat :
Glad Sadie's okay and thanks a bunch for the comment. I appreciate it. ♥
from princess03 :
i just want to say, wow... one thing after another, huh? i'm sorry. but remember, "if you lose faith, you lose everything." i'm not religious by any means, but faith in general... i hope that things start looking up for you and family!
from theflyingrat :
Hooray for Hubby! (Yours, of course.) ♥
from chained-soul :
CONGRATULATIONS to your Hubby!!!...So glad to hear that he passed...Thanks for the update...Have fun with your friend, you deserve it!!!...
from chained-soul :
Just wanted to say hi..Hope all is well with you and the family...Hoping for an update soon!!!...Ali
from theflyingrat :
I can only sleep if I'm in my own bed too, even then I have a hard time sleeping! Is there any way that someone else could watch her while you get some sleep during the day? ♥
from theflyingrat :
What a cute family! Uhm, aren't you forgetting someone? Yeah. I mean you! :) ♥
from chained-soul :
The pic of hubby and Sadie is adorable...And Maggie is very pretty, too...Thanks for the pics...I was wondering what Maggie and hubby looked like!...
from chained-soul :
Thanks for the lovely note...Sadie is a cutie!!!...Dylan has those same blocks, too...I have 2 in his crib so when he wakes up, he can entertain himself for a while...I know the feeling of being lost without the hubby...I know that if I had to, I could make it, but he sure is the core of my life (and Dylan too)...Glad to know I'm not the only one who has wondered "what if" something happened...
from theflyingrat :
I hate that feeling. You know that you'll always be together when it's in your power. Because my father died when I was so young, leaving my mum to raise my brother and I, I am constantly afraid that something will happen to Kent. I know that I'd do what I had to if something happened to him but I can't imagine being happy without him. ♥
from chained-soul :
No need to apologize...And good luck to Hubby on his tests!!!...Hang in there...
from theflyingrat :
She sounds more like she's trying to convince HERSELF that it's why she left. Obviously she's full of the old BS. Blah. You need to kick her arse. ♥
from theflyingrat :
I try to avoid the suited pairs, myself. I know that they're nice people but really, they're like pimps. And they don't take NO for an answer. *ahem* My in-laws go through me, too. My MIL even e-mails me rather than Kent. So do his brothers & their wives. Blah. The joys of being married. Hehe. ♥
from chained-soul :
Your hubby's cousin probably hates himself, his wife, and the fact that he's a hospital COOK not CHEF...He sounds miserable, and you won't accomplish a thing by confronting him...Besides doing so would be stooping to his level, and that may be what he wants you to do...Let it roll off your back...Take it from me with the in-laws, just let it go...
from chained-soul :
Just a FYI, your profile doesn't show up on my buddylist...When I click it, it says that you haven't entered a profile, or username doesn't exist...You do too exist!!!...Just thought you'd like to know...
from theflyingrat :
You WOULD take her side! hehehe
from chained-soul :
You are a remarkable person...I'be been reading thru your archives and I'm sitting here in total admiration...We have alot more in common than I thought, things I won't list here...Thank you again for letting me peek into your life...Ali
from chained-soul :
Gee, I'm a dope...I meant an "index" link, not previous...Sorry about that...Ali
from chained-soul :
I can't remember how I found your diary, but I LOVE it...I saw where you gave someone a "previous" link and was wondering if you'd kindly do the same for me...I see that you are Catholic, and so am I...Glad to know there's a fellow Catholic here...Take care...Ali
from fuumi :
Hey! Thanks for giving me a "previous" link so I could read all that i have missed. I like your diary, I think you are a very strong person and have dealt with life in the best of ways. Truth is, what you say, and how you go on about life is really interesting´. Thanks for letting me in on it.
from hunterpoo :
I love the dolphin shot! So gorgeous!! And the sleep shots are hilarious. The "pillow" cracks me up! Thanks for the comments on Hunter's pics haha. It took about 20 shots to get 2 that I was happy with. I really take TOOOO many pictures hahah.
from soxconfused :
Aww, she is so cute. You are lucky to have such a pretty happy baby!
from alwaysange :
Sadie is adorable! You have every right to be a proud mom. Thanks for sharing.
from theflyingrat :
Too cute! I love the photos. Your Sadie is so cute! I want a little girl, hehe. ♥ And I read the entry "one back" and I didn't think you were being whiney at all!
from theflyingrat :
I hope he got through to Maggie. No scorn coming from this direction, woman. I don't believe in hitting either. I know you wouldn't hurt your kids! I'm glad everything is working out okay. It's just too bad you had to go through the stress of it all. As if being pregnant and financially strained isn't stressful enough in itself! ♥
from soxconfused :
Hopefully hubby can explain to them what really happened. Have you thought of therapy for Maggie? It seems like she has a lot of resentment towards everyone. Maybe she is just missing her mom more and more, since you are the "fake mommy" now and are "hitting" her? I'm sending good vibes your way. Try not to stress out too much for the newest little one. xoxo
from theflyingrat :
Oh shit. I had no idea how bad it was. I'm so sorry. I, for some reason, assumed it was something financial. I don't know why I did but I did. This is worse but I know you'll get through it. I'm sure they get kids who over-react the way your daughter pretty often and eventually they'll see that. My brother once told a person at school that my mother kicked him out of the house (he was 10 at the time) and she went through something similar. When it gets to a point where she begins to realise the implications of her actions she is going to need you more than ever! I will keep you in my thoughts, no good mother should ever have to risk losing a child. ♥
from bettyalready :
You know what, kids are kids. She shouldn't have said what she said, but she's a kid. She doesn't have the life experience we have to know the impact of her statements. She's an angry little girl and do I KNOW angry little girls. I'm so sorry this is happening. Little kids say such ADULT sounding things but there is no way they can comprehend the impact. Their heads are not at that level. Of course she has anger issues toward you and she's acting out, but in no way would she want to be taken away from you. As with my girls, she feels out of control and big people are making choices she has no part of. You'll get past this and intact. Foster care. It could happen at an instant to anyone, it's scary.
from soxconfused :
OMG, I am very very sorry to hear this. I don't know how you haven't beaten her NOW. What a brat, serioulsy. "Mommy slammed my head into the table"? I think you should explain to her what the consequences are that she has caused now, cause she really has no idea that she could be taken away forever does she? And what happens to Sadie? She could ruin everything, and that's dumb for a "love pat".
from theflyingrat :
I hope you're doing okay. I don't know the whole story (obviously) but the government's always putting their noses up the wrong person's butt. ♥ And I didn't mean to offend you with my entry (losingdavid). I'm not sure if I did but I am thinking so. I guess I just can't fathom there ever being a good enough reason to do that. But you must have had one I suppose. I just haven't ever been in a position where that would be an option for me. If you have more thoughts on it, I'd love to hear them and you can e-mail me. I always try to be open minded and I'd love to hear your side of it. I value you as a friend and I honestly didn't mean to put you off in any way. ♥
from bodega :
I hope everything works out.... you got me a little worried... I'll email you later to send you some kind words.
from soxconfused :
I hope everything will be okay. If you want to talk about it you can email me at [email protected]
from xat :
The geeks t-shirt...I made it myself. One of the advantages of working in a copy shop. However, there are grandiose plans afoot.... (Can I tell you how tickled I was by your note? *grin*) !!X.
from hunterpoo :
I have Cingular and my calls are doing fine. My phone did that before and kept doing it until I took the phone apart (take the battery off) and when I turned it back on all the voicemails I had missed came through. I was so pissed that it was something so simple. haha, hope it helps if you havent done it yet.
from alwaysange :
I like the name Spencer. Don't worry, I a) live over 20 miles away, b) don't have plans right now to reproduce and c) even if I do I have different names picked out. I hope you can tell what the gender is by your ultrasound!
from theflyingrat :
Hey! I'm glad I rock your world, haha. I can make your teensy one a shirt that says, "I'm cute because... theflyingrat said so!" Ahahah. But I will. And I like the name Spencer. I'm sure I live far enough away but I wouldn't use it anyway because our last name starts with R. Sigh. ;) Yeah, anyway. That's the same reason I never moved my diary, they'll just find it again if they want to anyway. And I won't be intimidated into locking it up. Humph! :) ♥
from starlight42 :
ya...I'm noticing too that I can't get to older entries. :(
from fuumi :
Hi, I am a fan of your diary, but I can´t read it on a daily basis, and it doesn´t have any links to previous entries. I was wondering how can I read them? Thanks. Congrats on the baby by the way!
from hunterpoo :
hahahah!! I would definatley do my own ultrasound if I had the chance!! hahah especially if it wasnt my doctors office. How fun!!
from theflyingrat :
Hey. I have been slacking in the notes department but I've been reading. I swear! I definitely would have done that with the ultrasound machine, in a heartbeat! You better tell your hubby to hit the books, haha. I take it you've decided on a religion? I really should volunteer more (not at a church, of course, but you know) than I already do. Yeah. Anyway. ♥
from hunterpoo :
I'm reading Haunted right now actually haha! His books mess with my mind too. After this one will be Choke and Lullaby (if my book buddy ever trades me hehe). I think my "religious" practices do fall back on Native culture alot. Although I don't follow it as closely as some. I've never been to or around sweat lodges or Sundances. But I do follow some of the traditions that have been passed down. I think I'm all mixed up in the department, as is a lot of people. I'm glad my diary rocks.. hehe I'm blushing. I love reading yours, you always have such a interesting view on things. =)
from hunterpoo :
I just finished a book called "Diary" by Chuck Palahniuk. Your daughter trying to give you a heart attack reminded me of it. There's a few parts where it talks about how the daughter just aims to piss off the mom. I think most kids go through a phase like that don't they? But most start from 13-til they're grown up. hahaha. Testing the limits? As for the religion thing, I'm uhhhh.. not good with religion. haha.
from estratto :
I think you should do what you feel is right in your heart. I am getting back into religion, but I have not chosen a church yet. I believe that God doesn't matter what you are, as long as you believe and obey. Plus, most churches are just money-hungry (around here anyway). It will come to you, I promise. If you want to talk more about this, I am looking for someone to talk to, email me if you want. Good luck with your search.
from urbancadence :
Always glad to make people laugh :) Thanks for stopping by!!
from estratto :
Throwing sausage? That's classy. Really. I want to try it sometime lol. Except if I'm that mad, I assure you they will either be sizzling hot or frozen solid.
from theflyingrat :
http://housecall.antivirus.com/housecall/start_corp.asp I'm not sure if that's the kind of thing you are looking for but it will find and get rid of viruses. You can't download it and use it offline but it will scan your computer for free. I have the site bookmarked and I do it once a week. You can run it and do other things on the computer at the same time. Umm okay, hope it helps. ♥
from theflyingrat :
& hearts ; <--that is how you make a ♥ only you need to put them all together. :)
from bodega :
Hope where ever you decide to go will help you still get your thoughts and frustrations out. I don't think anyone reads my stuff, so for now I feel really secure.
from alwaysange :
I am totally into www.myspace.com for an alternate blog/diary place. It's free, and totally dynamic.
from theflyingrat :
I can understand how a couple can still owe on their wedding. But my B&SIL had their wedding 100% paid for so they started out with a clean slate AND $3000. That's what I should have said. ♥
from darcy-farrow :
Thanks for your vote!!!!! xoxox (feel better soon!)
from darcy-farrow :
For the first 5 1/2 months I was pregnant with OC I got sick about 25 times a day - no lie. Sometimes I wish I could be pregnant just for the great diet! ;) Of course there are other reasons . . . Here's to the end of the hurling!
from hunterpoo :
In the morning my lil guy can self-soothe himself with his toys, it's just night time. I think he occasionally has nightmares, maybe because he heard so much go on when he was inside of me. Who knows huh? The teething is such a battle though. I hope ya feel better!!! I hated being sick. *blah*
from untamedwings :
OMGosh! I just finally did the math! My two youngest girls are 50 weeks apart in age! Sadie & the new wee one will be twin-like in 2 years, truly. You can't even imagine the bond until you see them together. Good luck to you. If you need an ear I've got one & I know how rough this path can get before the dust clears a bit. Hugs.
from theflyingrat :
Oh yeah. And I love pink floyd, your daughter's got good taste. ;)
from theflyingrat :
I have checked your page in 3 different web browsers and they all look fine to me. Good luck though. ♥
from wifemotherme :
its odd but your tickers are fine on my screen. They dont overlab anything and are perfectly between the lines Go figure
from bettyalready :
L O L! That was funny. you have a good imagination. not a wierd one.
from bettyalready :
I was reading through and I can see where I missed it if I really wasn't paying attention. "oh yeah, I'm pregnant." And if I miss a day or two and you're not talking about it. One day a year fertility! I had to get fixed to STOP having kids. Birthcontrol and I don't seem to mix. I use it. It rebels.
from bettyalready :
Ok, I've been reading your diary. For a while now. I've skipped everyone's for a couple weeks. Where the hell did I miss out on the fact that you are pregnant??? what? what what? I read. I really do.
from theflyingrat :
Hey. Sorry this is so late but: HAPPY {belated} BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!! ♥
from hunterpoo :
I hope you don't mind me adding you to my favs, Jenn got me hooked. hahah!!
from darcy-farrow :
I could not agree more about the child centered parenting. How are these kids going to get along at a real job with people who do not care how they feel? I think it is a big contributor to why so many people have adult kids living at home these days. Happy 4th!!
from lostinmylove :
You asked... I delivered! Hope you enjoy my "5 things!" And I hope you have a great holiday weekend!! ♥
from candoor :
there I am in the middle of something and somehow I was lead to your diary almost in time to say Happy Birthday on time... guess I'm almost normal too (maybe :)
from starlight42 :
Happy Birthday!! Sorry to hear your job sucked and they let you go. Better things on the horizon...
from wifemotherme :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a truly blessed year!
from alwaysange :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have a day full of many more warm fuzzies and surprises. :)
from darcy-farrow :
I can't believe you lived in RH! That is CRAZY! And you are in the midwest now? I wonder if we know eachother . . . ;)
from theflyingrat :
I'm glad that I misunderstood you. Sheesh. I guess my mind is in the wrong place right now so I take some things the wrong way. Whew! Well, I'm glad that you and the baby are both fine. And that you got FIRED, woo! :) hehe
from wifemotherme :
Just so that you know I have to be one up on you in the stokerish department LOL
from wifemotherme :
It is odd how much we have in common! While I know its almost easy to get down over the word fired I know in both cases it was for the best. Yours expecally. You really need the time to rest and get better not just for yourself but for the baby. Wanna panic with me over the money sitation though? LOL
from wifemotherme :
Oh my heart!!! you have broken my poor fired heart! How could you not read my 3000 word entry on being fired. Oh woe is me - LOL go back an entry or two. I wanst told why I just agreed "It wasnt working out" never thought to ask them why until someone ask me the next day
from wifemotherme :
HA! You made it 3 weeks longer than me, I was fired after 10 days. You go girl! Now what the hell are we gonna do?
from darcy-farrow :
well, that stinks. At least you can spend yoour birthday doing whatever the hell you want! Have a great day!! xoxox
from theflyingrat :
What do you mean you're body's attacking the baby? What kind of shot did you get? Are you okay? I mean geez. Okay, I'm thinking of you. Let me know what's up because I worry like the dickens. Yes, even about people I've never 'met'. ♥
from madfuzzyme :
you should try snuggling on her, or, when she's hugging hubby, come from behind and do a group hug and say, i love daady too, or something not so smartass, if you wanna... eh?
from bettyalready :
OH MY GOD, I want to pick up that little baby and hug her and squeeze her and kiss her little cheekies and pretend to chomp her little legs and make her into an airplane making airplane noises and then says "AAAHHHHHH BOOOOO!" and see if she laughs. She's so CUUUUTE and squeeze-able!
from theflyingrat :
Your little girl is sooo cute! I hope I have a little girl someday. Haha are you guys hoping for a boy this time, since you've already got 2 girls?
from darcy-farrow :
Love the pictures! Thanks for the meta thingy info. I will look into it immediately! I am emailing you the link to my site. I will be curious to hear what you think!
from madfuzzyme :
i'm glad i soothed your bowels with my (radio) head. well if that doesn't like...
from theflyingrat :
When my husband moved to his first new apartment after we met (obviously, haha, we weren't married at the time) he gave me the new phone # as soon as he found out what it was. That night I had a dream about a girl I'd never known, and I even got her first & last names out of the dream. The first place I thought to look her up was the phone book (I don't know why, just a hunch) and guess what. Her phone # was the same as Kent's, she had been the last person to have it before he got it. Your entry made me think of that. I have weird dreams and sometimes they show me weirder stuff. Haha. Yay for soy milk! We have to have soy milk here because Ri's got an allergy to regular milk. :)
from theflyingrat :
No, you never said you felt guilty! I just THOUGHT that might be how you were feeling and I didn't want you to worry about me or how I'd react. Why was his former wife's family even at the baptism? I'm a little confused. My favorite kind of party is a bbq. I hate big fancy shmancy shindigs. Blah. Sorry about the morning sickness, I was lucky and I've never actually had any beyond nausea. ♥
from theflyingrat :
If you're feeling guilty because of me (and I'm not saying you are), you shouldn't. Things happen. It's not your fault and I'd be pissed if I couldn't eat cheese. I love cheese. More than I should, I think.
from alwaysange :
I LOVE your new layout. Tres cute! I hope you got something good at lunch w/o dairy in it.
from madfuzzyme :
on blathering: are you lactose intolerant or just iffy on foods? if you're iffy, i'm sure the babe would love a home-made cheese burger roight aboot now. mmm, the meat. lmao, so cruel...
from bettyalready :
getting to know people at work is risky and people get so burned doing that.
from bettyalready :
YEA FOR HIM!
from bettyalready :
I hope it all went well. I've cut out all dairy in my life. It's surprising how much it's helped. Soy milk is DIFFERENT, but I've gotten used to it.
from bettyalready :
I have it! I have imipramine in my hot hands. She gave it to me yesterday, wrote out the RX and the pharmacy had it on hand. I feel they don't want to give it out because A. It's very cheap and B. They have the pharmaceutical companies pushing the newer more expensive drugs. It has never been discontinued. I was given sort of the same speil anytime I said I had success with it. They said "Oh well there are so many side effects with the tri cylic anti depressants that we give out the newer BETTER one's." Bullshit. The newer ones have just as many side effects as the older ones.
from frogmom :
Thank you for your words! Its nice to have someone understand where you are coming from
from madfuzzyme :
about the looking like an asshole: atleast you've got an IPOD on you, 'cause im usually diddly-ing to music in my head that is on repeat... ;)
from madfuzzyme :
you go kill that man, you hormoning pregnant! never even heard of Cosi, so if i see one i'll be sure to spray artificial hair supplement on it for you. #:) yea, like that, but on the doorknob... who wants to touch a hairy entrance? hopefully they'll fear hair in the food and have a permanently bad impression of it. All thanks to you. Victory!
from theflyingrat :
I will never go to Cosi. Victory!!!!!!! Also, I would like to see a photo of something you own that's your favorite color. And a picture of your front door. Just what popped into my head. :)
from theflyingrat :
My SIL used to pull that kind of shit with me. I let her get away with it because I didn't want to start anything with Kent's family. But eventually I got fed up with it and then she wouldn't let me see my niece. She only comes around when she wants something. Ugh. I hate people like that! :) Hope everything else is going okay! :)
from theflyingrat :
Hey Christopher Walken was what I answered for "prophecy" too. I always liked that movie, haha.
from wifemotherme :
Congrats on the new job!!! Its funny because I have no doubt what so ever you will shine in what ever position you chose, I, on the other hand am a nervous wreck! I wish I could be more like you, you always seem sure of yourself and that leads others to be sure of you also. I have never taken a job that I wasn't already well trained to do. I have also had to shop for a new business ware. Hell after trying to find business suits in my size, come to think of it, work should be a piece of cake!
from starlight42 :
OMG- I just saw that you're pregnant again!! Wow- Congrats! Your Irish Catholic you...Also, my advice for the job is, if you are familiar with the insurance industry, I think you mentioned you were, I think it's worth a shot. Would it be a stable type job- or one that if you didn't make the numbers that month you might be let go? I'd take that into consideration too. I'd say if it would be pretty stable and you're already somewhat familiar- take that job. If you think it's very risky, I'd take the other job and then keep my eyes open for something better along the way.
from alwaysange :
I don't really have any advice for you other than...to get a good night's rest and sleep on it. Sometimes that makes all the difference.
from bodega :
Congrats on your pregnancy!! Hope all goes well and that your m/s won't be too bad. Mine was awful, but finally let up 3 weeks ago.
from alwaysange :
CONGRATULATIONS! Can't wait to find out more about Baby #2 :) Eight months and counting....
from theflyingrat :
Oh! Our babies are going to be so close together. I'm 5w1d right now. I think, haha. My due date is Jan. 19, which is 3 days before my brother's birthday. And isn't that Sadie's birthday? Wow! I don't think I could have had another baby so soon after Ri. My husband's Irish Catholic too, haha. Umm what else? Oh yeah and I don't think I look that good, haha. Maybe I was holding my breath?? :)
from frogmom :
CONGRATS ON YOUR PREGNANCY!
from theflyingrat :
Yay for you! I posted the info in my journal, I'm not going to be locking it anymore. :)
from hissandtell :
Hi again - just catching up on your recent entries! Things certainly sound full of vim and vigour for you right now. Good luck with all your endeavours, from de-cluttering to new jobs (and giving up jobs) to family matters. (And re the new template, all I keep thinking about now is doughnuts...lots of shiny iced pink doughnuts with sprinkles...) Love, R xxx
from frogmom :
My husband is a horrible packrat also! Your whole entry was hilarious!
from bettyalready :
The wingback chairs...welllll...I know they have slip covers that aren't half bad at www.surefit.com. For wingbacks.
from wifemotherme :
sorry gave wrong address its freecycle.ORG - NOT .com
from wifemotherme :
check our freecycle.com - you can get someone to come get all your old stuff - usally that same day - and more than likly get the shelves and baskets you need FOR FREE - someone gave away a car on our local chapter today. Its free and its really really simple to get started
from bettyalready :
Oh boy, do I ever know where you're at because we're right there. Our house is in chaos. What good is it to shame someone? It's a rut we get into for whatever reason. When everything is going crappy, the house goes right along with it. No money. Worried about it all the time. Morning noon and night.
from grr--girl :
I hear the birds here too...
from ramblin-bill :
Good luck with the job hunt!
from starlight42 :
I've got my fingers crossed for Starbucks!!
from wifemotherme :
ps sent note via email did you get it? it was a reply to the cast list
from wifemotherme :
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
from theflyingrat :
I love useless knowledge!! Thanks for the info on that name, it's a lot more interesting now haha. And I like the spelling Phaedra much better. :)
from theflyingrat :
Growing up my brother's best friend had a sister named Faydra. I guess that's why it popped into my head because she's the only one I've ever known. I thought most people would think I made it up because it's so uncommon!
from wifemotherme :
since I started from the beigning I am a bit lost on the cast. Is there a cast list on here that I can have a looksee at? Thanks!
from wifemotherme :
ok speaking of stalkers - when you notice the sharp rise in stalker like behavior on your stats - its me. OMG how could I not be reading you! You so rock
from theflyingrat :
It's so great that things are looking up for you! Looks like things are finally falling into place. As for the hair, I wish my husband wouldn't get his cut so OFTEN, when he does he looks like a little boy! :)
from girle :
Thank you for the note! I am just frustrated, I guess. I agree with you, to try to keep your sense of self even though you have a child. I fear my friend who I haven't seen since she's had her baby...will send her kid off to college at age 18 and try to remember what she was like 18 years ago!
from wifemotherme :
no you dont sound starkerish and as far as nosey well honey no one is more so than me under the sun....its an open diary so i feel like its a given. Anyway I have written about it. The whole mess started on Thursday, Jan. 20, 2005. So read on and feel sorry for me. LOL i am kidding - spewing my venom some how made me feel better.
from starlight42 :
I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the pope. I might do an entry myself...I was reading another diary who pointed out that this guy has beliefs from the 60's!! That scares me.
from kilowatt :
I am so pleased that you took the time to pause upon my doorstep and delicately place upon it, a lovely little gift from you. The most gracious compliments concerning my diary and my personal style of writing. The act of reading your expressed sentiments was a most decadent treat that shall be the dessert to my day. "I can live for two months on a good compliment." ~ Mark Twain ~ I thank you for your exquisite thoughtfulness and consideration. I am most honored by your words of esteem. Additionally, I thank you for signing my guestbook and adding me to your list of favorite diaries. I am so delighted that you like my site and I thank you for your support. May your day brim over with beauty.
from starlight42 :
Good news about the bank stuff. And to answer your question- YES- both my Standard Federal and TCF checking accounts, pretty much as soon as I use my debit card, it shows up on my online banking screen. It usually POSTS within a day or two. But there's a screen that has "pending- transactions not listed" or "today's transactions"-- that's where I can view my most current debits NOT listed. And like I said, it's pretty much instantaneous!
from starlight42 :
Wow- what's up with the mortgage?? I've got my fingers crossed for your husband when he goes to deal with the bank!
from bettyalready :
UM HELLO? Why the hell did it increase by that much?
from hissandtell :
Hello again - I'm back and reading your (recent) older entries. I'm finding your writing so very enjoyable, and your views on things so interesting and well-considered. Obviously I'll have to come back far more often to keep up with you. Love, R xxx
from starlight42 :
I'm so sorry to hear what's going on. I don't have any good advice to give, and not that it would help anyway, but I do want you to know it sounds like you have every right to be upset and concerned! It doesn't sound fair, and it sounds like you really are stressing out on over-load. I hope you guys can talk and that he steps up, that's what a man is for. He IS supposed to make you feel safe, secure and comforted. ((hugs))
from bettyalready :
I am so sorry you're going through this. I have the EXACT same problem or did. I was pregnant with Boo and could not work and I had to really talk my husband into taking a part time job. I had to drill it in that I would if I could, but I couldn't and this is something he had to do for now. We don't like doing these things, but take some responsibility. Then for friggin' EVEr he had that crappy job that took away $8k of his yearly income and he still DID NOT get a new job until 6 months later. True, the job market sucks around here, but he wasn't looking very hard. I could go on for hours.
from estratto :
It sounds like you need to sit down with your DH and tell him how you feel about everything. I agree that it is not fair to you about school and work and everything. Guys are oblivious to everything but themselves, I swear they think that we don't need anything. What's the worst that can happen if you two sit down and talk?
from theflyingrat :
I'm sorry things aren't going very well for you. Men are so... men. I guess. My BIL actually calls it babysitting if he's watching HIS OWN daughter. I don't know how it became a woman's responsibility to take care of kids and the house all alone. And now there's the added stress of being pressured to work. I will keep you in my thoughts. (((hugs)))
from starlight42 :
did that give you as much of a headache listening to it as I got reading it?? How crazy!
from lostinmylove :
Hey, but my inability to pay rent is WAY more than your inability to pay rent!!! (Thanks so much, I NEEDED that laugh!!!) You rock! I sent you an email the other day, did you get it? ♥
from theflyingrat :
I'm not sure what the Dalai Lama has to do with anything (I too, am not trying to start an argument!!) but I'll answer your question. I would feel similarly about ANY person that I had never met myself, that had lived 86 full years and embraces a belief in an afterlife. It's not about it being THE pope. It's about him being an 86 year old man with a firm belief in a pleasant reward in a next life. We, as a whole, should be happy that this man has achieved what he set out to do. That is what I was trying to say. I just don't think the death of an old man (be he a pope or a blue collar worker) should have such an impact on society as whole. As a culture I think we focus to much on the negative aspects of everything, not just death. I hope that answered your question?? :)
from bettyalready :
That's weird that she shot herself. How weird to know someone who just up and shot themselves. I was going to say something else and I forgot what.
from bettyalready :
Dude, I was raised Lutheran and I'm worried about the Pope. I haven't been this glued to the TV since he was first appointed, when Princess Diana married, when she died and now with his imminent death.
from summerroll :
I had thrush when I was 3-years old and I remember having it. Actually, what I remember the most was my grandmother sticking her hand down my throat with a wet cloth to clean out all the yucky stuff. But I survived. Throat stuff is always the worst. I hope your baby gets better quickly.
from minstrelite :
Thanks so much for the reply. I was a little insecure after seeing that my note took up so much space. So I'm glad you appreciated it. I should clarify this is not a 90% "born-again" town, but 90% "professed Christian." Since it's pretty much assumed that one is a Christian, the boundaries between ecumenical and evangelical/born-again are not very intense, and the trust level is unusually high. People don't lock their doors, and they leave their keys in their cars. It's perfectly okay to crack a few beers or let out a cuss word every now and then, PC is fairly unimportant, no one's too sensitive, and there's a church on every corner. 98 churches in a town of 57,000. Pretty phenomenal. Oh, and glad you liked the show tunes! I think nos. 5,6,12,17,19&20 are the best right now because they have actual good female vocalists on them. :-)
from bettyalready :
Episcopalian/Lutheran=almost the same. Meaning very low key. I went to an Episcopalian service and thought I had entered a lutheran church. I'm reading back because I've missed a few days.
from minstrelite :
Thanks for your note, and for adding me as a favorite. I read your recent entry but will have to think about it some more. It's late at night and I was having a little trouble following, but I think I got the basic gist. My theory is that a lot of this is geographic/demographic--in other words, a "born-again Christian" in the town where I live is pretty much the norm, because in this community about ninety percent of the people are professed Christians and all the boundaries between ecumenical and evangelical blur and cross constantly. So no one really proselytizes because there's no one to proselytize to. People all seem fairly normal, except for that they tend to talk more freely about God than they do in more secular communities. It's a lot different in the Big City, where someone has a religious conversion of any nature and is suddenly viewed as a threat. I also think it's natural after any remarkably life-changing or consciousness-changing experience for one to be over-excited and sort of start preaching at everybody until he or she mellows out. I'm not trying to be the devil's advocate for the woman you mentioned, but I'm speaking only from my own experience. In any case, MAJOR CONGRATS on having the courage to get off the psych meds! You might want to check out http://www.breggin.com/yourdrug.html (I think I spelled that right.) Take care and God bless.
from theflyingrat :
Actually, I suppose "downloading" wasn't the right term. I thought I had seen the magic button myself, but couldn't find it. So I went all the way back to the beginning (my 2002 entries) and copy and pasted EVERY entry. I did that with my son's diary as well. Andrew does a good job here but it's hard not to be paranoid! So if *you* find the link, you should let me know because I am sure that would be much easier!! :) Good luck. `Jenn
from bettyalready :
I think it's asking too much for husbands to keep us informed. 2 hours late? HEY no problem! Nothing pisses me off more.
from blueiceflame :
Hey baby doll. Cheer up. Life is sucking major ass for just about everybody right now, but think of it this way. Atleast you have a healthy baby girl to look forward to and so many people who care about you. Oh, and whiney people need to all be locked up in a cage together so they'll all know exactly what they sound like.
from bettyalready :
I'm that way with pictures and I keep trying to tell myself it's the MOMENT! It's capturing the moment in time. What we were doing at that time in life. It doesn't work most of the time and I end up cropping the hell out of the photo
from hissandtell :
Hi - please forgive my rudeness in not leaving you a note sooner. Thanks so much for adding me to your list of reads; I've been enjoying your most recent entries (you write so beautifully it couldn't be otherwise) and will be sure to make time to come back very soon to read more of your archives. Love, R xxx
from bettyalready :
I saw ToriAmos about 5 years ago here in Seattle and I don't do drugs but I swear some of her songs had the "WHOA DUDE" affect on me. Entranced. She's my favorite. One of them. I'm also eating about one meal a day. Nothing appeals. Drinking a lot of coffee. I used to smoke. It does sound really appealing.
from bettyalready :
Why the hell is it that when you're having a baby and you say "Hey there, nurse, I'm ready to push." THEY NEVER BELIEVE YOU? WHY? I'm reading your baby story. I can't believe I missed you on my friggin' buddy list. Where the hell have I been? I swear my baby burps aiming his head TOWARDS me just so I can enjoy the formula right along with him.
from theflyingrat :
I admire what you do. I have a hard enough time keeping myself sane with just one child and a husband. Forget having a sibling living with me AND a part time job! I'm on your side, just thought you should know. :)
from starlight42 :
Great quiz! Wow- you are lucky that you can at least work from home. However, I get a sense of what you mean- that there's still so much work involved. When we have kids I'll be at home, and Dave would like me to do some type of home business...I'm just not sure what I can do, what it would pay and if I could handle that PLUS kids! Maybe when they're older or something...I've heard the medical transcription can pay well.
from cruel-irony :
Loved your quiz answers and thank you for adding me as a favorite. And your baby? Soooo precious!
from wonderchai :
give said cousin a month's eviction, and tell her "tough shit. i've got mouths to feed." also, suggest she get a phone line of her own, and if she's in dire debt, suggest she cut up her credit cards? (i hate freeloaders. gah.)
from theflyingrat :
That last message was from me. I forgot I was logged in to my son's baby diary when I posted it! Oops!
from for-riley :
The way your sister acts reminds me of the way my brother acted when he was living with my mother at age 20. It drove me nuts whenever I was over there; she would even make his meals for him and he contributed nothing, monetarily or otherwise. :)
from starlight42 :
OMG, she's beautiful!! I love the name too! Congrats!
from theflyingrat :
My brother's birthday is January 22nd. Yep, that's all I had to say. :)
from bodega :
Congrats!! She's beautiful. Hope you are feeling well... after all, you did all the work!!
from wonderchai :
she is a GORGEOUS baby. nice work, momma. *loves*
from estratto :
Aww Sadie is so cute! Congrats! I hope everything went well for you also. I'm looking forward to the update on it all. She is so precious! Hopefully she won't be too much trouble.
from blueiceflame :
Yay!! Sadie is gorgeous. Congrats times a thousand!
from theflyingrat :
Aww, she's adorable!! Makes me want another one even more! Congratulations!!
from alwaysange :
CONGRATULATIONS! Sadie is beautiful. We want details (but not too many, maybe) only after you have the chance to rest and catch up on everything. Enjoy your time with your brand new baby girl!
from bohemianlife :
She is beautiful!
from starlight42 :
The baby must be here...hope everything is good & everyone is healthy!
from starlight42 :
Pretty new layout!! Thanks for the note the other day. Good suggestion too, I think we'll have to do some sort of sit down planning session soon. If not us, then let the two sets of parents talk some planning stuff over. Keep me out of it (the shower) I just want to go & get lots of gifts...haha Happy New Year by the way!
from alwaysange :
It sounds to me like you're almost ready to have this baby any time now! I remember the girl at work having the same complaints a few days before giving birth. I also notice you're exhibiting hyper-nesting tendancies. I am sure you'll be thrilled when she's here!
from ashley2ashes :
please go here for sophie, anaz-gurl - http://www.freewebs.com/sophie-prayers/
from wonderchai :
it'll get better. and the bit about the underwear was FUNNY. and it made me never want to have babies! but i am SO looking forward to s.e.'s impending arrival. much loves and many blessings. (loves)
from blueiceflame :
Hey. Merry late X-mas. Yeah, I'm stupid. ;)
from alwaysange :
Merry Christmas to you and yours. I hope all is going well for you with the baby. I am wishing you a smooth, easy birthing when the time comes.
from omnipre5ence :
You like sushi? :(:( Eww.
from ramblin-bill :
Congratulations on the upcoming birth - and thanks for adding me to your list.
from starlight42 :
Everyone is writing about music today! I was just reading another diary talking about her love for music...Also, wanted wish you Happy Holidays & much happiness for 2005. You're only 39 days away from your baby being born- time flies!
from xat :
Thank you for visiting. *grin* I think your kid's name will be wonderful. Jane Doe, indeed. *laugh*
from irishblueyes :
Hi. I just found you through wonderchai, and just love your music entry, it's so wonderful, i love reading about people who truly love all kinds of music. so i just wanted to say hey and let you know i was reading. :) kristina
from wonderchai :
thank you for the note... in truth, it's been so awful having to fight to keep everything sane that it's been a relief to have so many readers i didn't know about come out of the woodwork and tell me what they think. it's a welcome change. i appreciate your note, and when i lock it, just email and i'll send the passkey. :) *hugs*
from starlight42 :
I think having a baby shower at your home is a great idea! I'd love to do that, when I get preg. of couse- after the wedding :) Anyway, I know in the 50's and 60's people did that, I always thought it sounded so cozy and friendly. Do it how you want!
from ladybugge :
Hi there! Nice to meet you. I saw you listed me as a favourite, and came over to say hi. No time today to read your diary, but I hope to come over and get to know you better soon. Congrats on a happy marriage and all good things! :-) Lb
from not-another :
I saw you liked Tom Petty. That makes you cool. I enjoy reading your diary.
from alwaysange :
I'm glad baby is fine, whether it's a he or a she. I can't wait to hear more about your ultrasound :)
from alwaysange :
Good luck today at the hospital for your ultrasound. What a bizarre dream...it was likely just anxiety over the unknown that was cropping up in your subconscious. I always find dreams so interesting. I can't wait to hear how many babies you're having. :)
from alwaysange :
Thank you for lighting a candle for me! I appreciate it so much (and yes, I do believe it will help!)
from starlight42 :
Just catching up...that's cool about volunteering at the school. I think the library is the perfect place to do that at too! That sucks about your dog, was he just really needy or disobedient? And, hope you're ok after falling over that chair! Glad you didn't get too hurt. Ya, I love it when I'm crying or something and my cats come over to see if I'm ok :)
from starlight42 :
Dave wouldn't care if all he got were blowjobs, forever. I always tell him that, it's all he wants. He persists that's not the case...but ya, it's his absolute favorite. Don't worry, things will work themselves out soon. It's just all the stress and stuff of being pregnant and trying to keep up with everything.
from starlight42 :
it would be very cool to be on the Trading Spaces show- free home decorating?! A co-worker was just talking about the extreme make-overs and how it's probably so hard to get picked, eps. since they usually pick people with desperate circumstances. how does an "average" person win??
from p-o-y :
Welcome to Pieces Of You !
from alwaysange :
I like this template so much! It's sort of plain but in a good way that I really like. Just thought I'd say it looks really good to me.
from starlight42 :
That's great about your the people asking for your card...and I hope the birth ends up going the way you want it. It's your choice. Anyway, like the new design and just wanted to say I think that's so cool that you're in school. I knew a few of my readers were. I have so much respect for people who do that.
from starlight42 :
ohhh, that sucks about the maternity leave!! Glad you're in good spirits though. Your boss is a jerk.
from starlight42 :
Ya, sometimes you just have to stop and be thankful and happy for what you have- write a happy entry. Like the one about your daughter. You guys must be good parents- go you! Life's too short to focus on the bad all of the time, sometimes you can't help it, but I try to balance it with keeping in mind the good stuff.
from starlight42 :
That's so wonderful to hear about you & your mom getting along so well! And your mom does really sound like she's making an effort, that's great.
from starlight42 :
well, the change at your job does sound a bit overwhelming, but sounds like it could be good too. (More benefits and pay) I hope everything goes along smoothly!
from starlight42 :
Congratulations!!! How exciting. And water birth sounds kind of cool...
from alwaysange :
YAY! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations on the news! When are you due?
from alwaysange :
Happy Mother's Day!
from starlight42 :
we all have those days that what we want is something we don't/can't have. There's something that will fill your "hole"...you'll know it when you find it :) And yes, you guys need a financial plan! Thank god I started one a couple of years ago for my debt...it's almost paid off now! If I hadn't I'd still have all my credit cards maxed out and no hope in sight...it's a drag, but it's worth it. :)
from starlight42 :
wow- your husband sounds so much like my ex!! ya, I would have been pissed too at that car situation!
from uglypony :
you e-mailed me once, i never replied. i.m going on a note rampage, feel honored i have chosen you as a vict-participant.
from starlight42 :
I do the same thing with day dreams and then wishing I was still friends with people. I've even stopped feeling happy when bad things happen to people who have screwed me over...maybe I'm just growing up.
from alwaysange :
I know exactly what you mean by watching other people in their relationships and finding it all so interesting. I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a very good friend's wedding in Tennessee and I'm actually looking forward to it since the last time I was a bridesmaid was 1998. Congrats on your one year anniversary! How time flies...I remember when you were engaged like it was yesterday.
from candora :
well, you're closer to normal than I am.
from purplebanana :
Found your diary through the nanowrimo site. Hope that's all going well for you!
from alwaysange :
You deserve a break. I hope you have a great time in Nashville. One of my best friends recently moved to Memphis, so I will be interested to hear of anything you find to do in the state of Tennessee in case I ever feel like visiting. In the meantime, hang in there with work and your distance learning class. I know you can do it.
from lilmizzmyra :
hoy! hmm... juss cruzzin around and stumbled on your page/diary. great job. keep up the work and hope you have a grrrreat life! =) well return the favor and drop a few lines in my `notes` and if you want just cruzz around my diary or web page! later, happy living! http://lilmizzmyra.diaryland.com/
from chubbychic :
Wow, that party sounds like a blast. I used to live a couple hours from New Orleans. It made me miss it. :)
from upandcoming :
Hey! Keep your head up. I locked my diary, but catch me online and I will give you a username and password!
from squirrelx :
Thank you most sincerely for your message! I don't have the vocabulary to tell you how happy it made me, so I'll just have to say THANK YOU again and hope that you can intuit the depth of my gratitude. Best, Xtine / Squirrel X
from smile18 :
Hi,i know this is a bit late but i wana thank you for your reply to the questionnaire.Interesting set of answers & thx also for your comments! =)
from alwaysange :
Love the new layout. I know what you mean about the goals thing. While you're out looking for goals, please sign me up for some. ;)
from cocktails :
Hehe...watch out for the old Mother-In-Law ;o)
from smile18 :
hey there...how r u? im new here,just registered a while ago. anyway,im actually doing a research project for my final year & the topic i have chosen is online diaries.i have decided to focus on this site,Diaryland.com which is why i would really appreciate it if u would allow me to ask u some questions in regards to your opinion or point of view of online diaries in general and also about the reason why u thought of posting up your diary online in the first place ;) just thought that i'd ask for your permission beforehand :) i dont have any specific questions to ask u yet as im still doing my research but mayb later on? thx!
from diva35 :
I am glad you enjoyed it, yes I am better
from cuillin :
Just want to add that I've lost a lot of friends, loved ones, as well. Their profession didn't throw them into the limelight, but they were mourned deeply all the same. All I care about is the fact that life is sacred...and when it is snuffed, everyone should care. What happened today is among the realm of mythology. A crew in the unknown; lives risked for the sake of science. I do think they deserve to be recognized for what they did.
from cuillin :
PS -- because I can't sign your guestbook again that quickly -- "Cullin" does lead to someone's diary, but it's not mine. Who IS that chick? ;)
from diva35 :
thank you, it is better one day at a time is all one can do
from alwaysange :
I am in your boat. I would love to pay off all my credit cards with my tax return. Power to the pocketbook!
from me-exposed :
Congrats on the wedding! You won't loose yourself with your name change unless you let yourself get lost. Congrats again!
from me-exposed :
Congrats on the wedding! You won't loose yourself with your name change unless you let yourself get lost. Congrats again!
from cuillin :
That was a really beautiful comment that you left me. I try to always keep those things in mind....and I'm really late with this, but CONGRATULATIONS!!!! xoxoxox
from alwaysange :
Congratulations on tying the knot...I am so glad your wedding was all you'd dreamed and that you are enjoying your honeymoon!
from smart-angel :
You deserve to be happy. Enjoy your marriage and your new family. Best of Luck!
from leanrinc :
Your idea of reincarnation is just like that of mine! I'm so glad to finally find someone that believes the same *smiles* Blessed Be,<br>LeanRinc
from cyropi :
I like the layout, and the content is great!
from bestdesigns :
We see that you've chosen the Today I Kissed An Angel template for your diary at this time. Would you mind leaving a note at our site detailing why you chose this template, what you like about it, what you've added to it, and any other comments you might have on it? Thanks so much!
from alwaysange :
Don't worry...your wedding plans don't sound gauche at all. In fact, be glad that you have such a different idea from Kim's wedding. At least you know you are being original about the whole thing. I don't think anything you mentioned in the entry was tacky or classless. All of it sounds like your spin on things, and don't worry...weddings are ALWAYS stressful, but from my experience, 99% of the worrying is useless. So go, have a good time, and try not to worry. Surely, it's easier said than done, but you should have a good time and try to focus on enjoying yourself.
from irsnat :
So just what part of the End of Evangelion did you like best?
from lunetia :
On tossing and turning and no comforting: :(.
from slick45 :
please please please have a happy marriage and be happy your entire life like this. what's ascerbic mean?
from maj52 :
Thanks for visiting my diary--I took a look at yours and it's beautiful. Pass gently through Mother's Day--it never went exactly well for me, either. I'll keep reading--MAJ
from jessi-dc :
Thanks for leaving that note in my diary. At least someone is reading it....and yes that entry hurt as all of my thoughts do when I think of him. He was a big part of my life. You're welcome for sharing it.
from freevah :
Hey, I had homemade chinese food for lunch too. Fortunately, it stayed down.
from nessiegurlie :
cool diary.
from anat :
I just wanted to stop in and let you know that your list of things learned inspired me to make a similar list. I'm gonna try to have it posted in my dland world by the end of the day or early tomorrow, if you're interested in checking it out. :) thanks for writing.

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