messages to awittykitty:
(click here to add new message):

from fairygodmum :
3/23/22 Just sayin hi... HI.... How are you doing??? Have no idea how I remembered my password... lol
from u-saved-me :
miss you
from perversions :
I would have said hello.
from fairygodmum :
Hugz Gurl.. give me a shout out.. I left my info on my page... Woot BIG HUGGGG
from kittiefan17 :
where are you??? It has been almost A YEAR since you last posted??!!! Hope all is okay.
from annanotbob :
Your latest isn't showing up, darling xx
from wtng4lezlie :
Fer shizzle.
from annanotbob :
Hello darling. Just a hi from an incoherent me xxx
from annanotbob :
Yeah - go us with the art and the fucking exercise! Hope all is working out without too much anguish and very little snow. Feel free to offload via email WHENEVER you like. Hugs and hugs, sistah xx
from serenaville :
Thank you for the add to your faves/buddy list! I do hope try-outs last a good while... or at least turn out better than that one time Craftacular and I went head-to-head at cheerleader try-outs. Hmmm. Ehn, it was worth the in-school suspension. Anyhow, thanks again! :) -Serena
from idiot-milk :
Don't you want to just hug everyone you know? Or every random person on the street? Or, well, okay, maybe pat them gingerly on the shoulder, because I'm just not a hugger. But something, you know? I don't think I've ever screamed as loudly as I did when it was called for Mr. O. Good times and happy days ahead.
from goodluckgold :
hello I like your profile it's very creative
from fairygodmum :
Thank you for the Birthday Wish! Here's hoping your Art Show went equally as well! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum
from artgnome :
I'm hoping and praying that your opening went really well, and that you are selling better than I am so far.
from annanotbob :
Maybe dark fugly cupboards would look better with lots of flowers painted on them? Or stuck to them? Thanks for your comments - it feels so much better knowing there's a few of us, not just me. Good luck with the show - hugs xxx
from artgnome :
how did the hanging of your show go? are you pleased with it? I'm sewing up all the loose ends here and am confident I will be ready tomorrow.
from artgnome :
good thing your therapist has nothing to do with your success. Success hinges on you, and no one else. I believe you can find a place for yourself witty. I really do. Best of blessings to you. - juni
from falo :
Hi WittyKitty. Thank you for the kind message regarding my rose pics. Best, O.
from artgnome :
This new art piece is on show with The Artist's Breakfast group. I usually show with an organized group. I love ABG, it's a downtown group with no dues and they don't take attendance. Very laid back, open and supportive!
from kellifornia :
I just wanted to stop by and thank you for the comment and advice re. my hubby's medication, etc. I wrote you a long rambling comment, only to be told at the end that you don't accept comments. duh! haha, anywho, the gist of it was that here in California, Medicaid no longer pays for the prescriptions of people on Medicare, evidently they thought it was a "neat" idea. We've also looked into generics, but unfortunately, only one of his medications have a generic, at least here in California. I do understand that there are MORE generics available in Oregon, which will help in June when we get there ;) Thanks again for the advice, I really appreciate it! Oh! I wanted to ask, what state do you live in? and I noticed that you said you saw my photos on flickr... what's your flickr name? Do I know you on there? If not, why not? :)
from artgnome :
We are all wounded, no doubt. But to take it out on others is rude; and he was rude about it. Still no word, I should have bet money on it. :)
from artgnome :
I think you are worth far more than you will ever know. Eradicating the negative relationships from our lives is liberating, I hope you practice it on the person you have mentioned, and soon.
from artgnome :
I do love Brummel and Brown. I have used it many times. Thank you so much for the tip! :)
from fairygodmum :
Thank you gurl... I'm just tired of being a Dizzy Damme. Hugz Bebe da FairyGodMum
from artgnome :
It's always good to get exposure while waiting to be paid, if you think the venues are going to be worth your while. I always think of what the audience and the traffic flow will be, then decide whether it's worth the rigor to show. Sounds like you've found a good connection though, I would work with bobby and see what happens. best of luck to you!
from northrup :
I think I'd pay good cash money for a copy of Frodo's Mom....
from northrup :
Howdy! I just came back to D-land and it took me awhile to figure out how to get to your new site, but I persevered (and clicked the right place completely by accident) and found you. Herro!
from rs536-2000 :
Aretha! now that's exciting. Thanks for keeping track of me during my move to greener pastures.
from pyroguysr :
I noticed that you were one of Tony's (T85225) friends. Perhaps you read his blogs about his battle with cancer. I'm sad to report that he succumbed and passed away this week at age 49. He was a good online friend of mine and will be sorely missed. I left some details on his D-land diary notes.
from rs536-2000 :
I'm not sure I can date someone like B9 who makes substantially more money than I do. Issues, issues.
from rs536-2000 :
I need to email him today. He's too good to be true.
from kittiefan17 :
awww thanks for the kind words...you cheered me up=)
from rs536-2000 :
Brilliant idea. The climax would be when someone got pushed on the tracks.
from xat :
If I should get to the rock throwing stage, I'll be calling you and Hiss first. *grin*
from fairygodmum :
Hey Gurl...Funny how I view shopping differently. It becomes work, but even funnier how I LOVE Shopping! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum
from chaosdaily :
thanks! i love my template, it was made just for me by golfwidow! she did a great job, didn't she?
from xat :
I have to admit that I had an unholy urge to "accidentally" spill the teas all over her immaculate coat and coiffure...damn. Why am I so nice? *giggle*
from rs536-2000 :
I wanted to wish you a Happy B-day. I know it's early, but I won't have any computer access on Monday...
from fairygodmum :
You silly gurl... We ALL have Karma. The trick is staying on the Good Side. If people really knew how good it is, they'd never go back! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum
from xat :
Thanks--that's the message I've been getting from a bunch of people. I'd hate to have that regret.
from rs536-2000 :
maybe I really should be looking in that warehouse in Jersey.
from xat :
Having grown up on the east coast, I'm highly amused at the locals' shenanigans when it comes to snow. My boss just called to tell me that the shop is closed this afternoon--and there's only three inches of snow on the ground! Oh my dear, sweet, stars and garters... **!G
from smedindy :
100% correct, as usual...overanalysis led to paralysis.
from xat :
Ugh, sounds like a rough way to start the new year. However, at least you got to enjoy "Dreamgirls" before it went weird. I hope that this incident was all of the bad that you're going to get for the next long while. Fingers and toes are crossed. **!G
from true-diamond :
you're right witty. There is something rather bad about starting new meds just before Christmas. In spite of that I hope your hoildays are happy. Hugs,Diamond
from heydomsar :
that ~is~ freaky! kismit.
from for-you-only :
Hmm. I can be funny if I want to!!! But I suppose my journal would be a horrid reflection of any humor I am capable of creating because I use my blog as an outlet for getting off my chest the things in my life that bother me - obviously that is not what 12% beer is about. ~Phoenix
from for-you-only :
Hi, I was reading 12% beer, and I kinda got addicted and read all the posts up on the index page. Now I want to know what the theme is with all the posts - like, somehow, they really DO resemble BEER!?!?!?!!! So, now I want to join. How did you join?
from xat :
Hmm. Elvis in a yarmulke...it'd be quite striking, wouldn't it? I may have to work something up. Oh yes.
from kungfukitten :
I wanted to double check and make sure my e-mail yesterday regarding elvetway eerbay wasn't spam filtered. *wink wink*
from babylove1997 :
Hi this is babylove1997 i was wondering how old are you i haven't looked at your profile yet maybe i should after this please leave me a note so i can no also are you a boy or a girl well i am going to go debate someones profile or diary so bye bye for now.
from cardiogirl :
hey, you're amusing!
from sixxgunn :
You're good at this. Definitely adding you as a favorite. Thanks!
from rs536-2000 :
I'm glad that you liked the entry...I was afraid it was boring.
from rs536-2000 :
Thanks for the note. Billy Barty? You don't look short in that picture.
from onewetleg :
blank comments for me too. I tried three times. it was really sad. I have no life. 10 cans of corn and a gallon of water and I could live for three days until someone rescued me after an earthquake. If I could get to the can opener, that is. You know what is good? Corn chowder. Heaallll Yeeeaaahhh! Oh, and don't be embarrassed in front of the cat, he poops in a box. I assume. Pooping in the yard isn't much to be proud of either. (hugs) JJ. PS, did you see the little movie I made?
from stepfordtart :
tried to leave a comment but the screen went all blank so Im popping up here to say I cant see anything wrong with ten cans of corn. Its my favourite. That picture just made me think "Oooh, corn! Yum!" rather than "that witty, she's a nutter". Actually ten cans of corn is 'letting your stocks get a bit low' in my opinion. s x
from fuzzy-grey :
I just left ex-TVZero (now johnny's blogspot) a note also. 2 admirers with BPD, what more could a gentleman ask for?
from autumnleigh :
I'm mailing Tom Jones to you today, pussycat!
from fairygodmum :
My unemployment lasted longer than my sleeping pattern and court TV watching... imagine than in dog years. Then I got my but up and went back to school. go figer. Ohhh... uhhh... I live in San Francisco and work in Pinole, CA. My Dad lives in Pacifica and I was driving home that night on Skyline Blvd. in the Fog. Henceforth... "Fog City" tee hee Hugz, Bebe da FairyGodMum
from killsbury :
Yeah, that video confirms what I've always suspected; everyone is getting some, except for me. I'm just so full of the bipolary goodness today. I can always spare a hug though. *hugs* for you.
from sopeculiar :
We did have one sloshed "act" at the open mic night. He seemed to be enjoying himself, though the audience were a bit bemused...
from wickedcrazy :
are you kidding? she's already insufferable! Once she noticed that she was up there, she cheered with her head tilted towards the screen with this cutesy smile on her face. They actually caught her batting her eyes. Everyone awwwed and me and T just groaned, haha. I cant believe you mentioned the presents, haha. Afterwards, she said "mama are you proud that I was on the big screen?" when I told her yes, it made me proud, she said "well are you going to get me anything for that?" BRAT!
from autumnleigh :
If you have a cassette player, I'd be happy to make a tape of my Tom Jones CD for you -- or just the one song, whichever you prefer. Let me know: [email protected]
from clipchick :
Ahem...I know this sounds lame, so please forgive me. If you ever have time, I would love it if you would check out my Myspace page. (there's a link to it on my Diary) There's a free cool slide show you can get from Rockme.com, and I wanted to know what you thought about the pics... Only if you have time, of course. I'm going to run away now before I get too insecure and erase this. By the way, I just got Victor/Victoria (the BROADWAY production) on Netflix that was filmed in 95, when Julie Andrews was 60. You should put it in your queue. It's very good. And musical-ly.
from rs536-2000 :
if you believe that that Being created poo, then it should be able to see in the bathroom. it's only fair!
from fairygodmum :
We must be twin sisters, starting a new job, both artists, standing on feet all day.. my dogs are barking, man hunting.. oh right maybe yours will be straight? Oh wait... we're both fag hags.. hehehe Pass the Epsom Salts Plueeze. Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum
from fairygodmum :
Thanks for stopping by! I'm adding you to my list of favorites! Best thing to do with a geek, don't answer the door. I'm told those kind of momma's boys are the serial killers of today. So, please be careful. And stop taking gifts! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum
from discodave :
Oh dear - and now, just to top it all, they're supposedly going to show the film of his death? Ghoulish, much? Dxx
from xat :
Here's to living, eh Witty? So much more fun than the alternative. Whee! **!G
from stepfordtart :
Hi Witty, thanks for the html lesson. I locked up for a bit - I think Ive got a stalker from work. I wont be updating til after the weekend so I'll unlock then or will pass on password etc if Im not sure its safe to come out yet! s x
from kitty-paws :
Wow, I can't believe it took me this long to finally take notice of any notes I may have recieved on Diaryland... You're so sweet and you've brought a smile to my face, so for that I thank you very much for wishing me a Happy Birthday. I hope your day is like a kitty litter box! Er...lol let me add to that...A kitty litter box filled with wonderful little surprises! lol ^_^;
from sinslaidbare :
Thanks for the comment. "Flossing the cat" has now turned into my new favorite euphemism. Is it a bad thing that I now try to work it discreetly into conversation about a dozen times a day? ~Zoe
from kittiefan17 :
thanx witty!!!!!!!!=)
from gradylover10 :
Hey whats up read my diary it so cool my lifes a hole lol so sup wanna talk email me [email protected] lol talk to you later if you do leave a note
from scotvalkyrie :
Please send your snail mail to [email protected] so that I may send you your foofie prize. What colors do you like?
from bettyford :
i guess it's like scientifically enhanced loneliness developed for the 21st century. these friends who are only their words, photos, and (in your case) art. and i know you've heard it a million times, but GodDamn, you can paint!
from sixweasels :
Guestbook wants to be a wanker so I'll just put this here. Glad you got to meet Meany! I missed her when she was on the Maryland leg of her tour, but isn't meeting other D-landers so much fun?
from wistful-blue :
Just couldn't help myself, read this quotation and immediately thought of GuardCat: "The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." - Doug Larson
from his-holiness :
Or maybe I was just raised Catholic, leading to a predisposition for such conclusions.
from xat :
Isn't that the +biggest+ playground ball you've ever seen? I was agog. Oh yeah, lacrosse. I grew up w/ lacrosse. *grin* I've been told that it's based on an Iroquois game. A fairly violent one, too. (I don't know if there's a lick of truth to that.) Here's a scary thought; there's enough of a lacrosse crowd in Stumptown to support at least one retail store. *cue terrifying, dischordant crescendo* !g.
from xat :
Golly. *Quoted.* Dang. To think I didn't even know about that diary. I'm an ass. >=) **!G.
from elgac :
I'm going to clean out my own huge stash and being a pack rat sculptor there's bound to be stuff I don't need. I'll put stuff aside I think you might enjoy. Thought of you during the sale, but everything was so crazy. Drop you a message when I have a pile.
from monkey-king :
Shit. Sorry for the double comment post. Feel free to delete the first one.
from onlyemma :
I just found your diary and I love it!
from idiot-milk :
Well, I'm hoping I can get by with half a bottle of vodka and a case of Thin Mints because that's what I've got. The others might be a little hard to come by, so I'll have to make do. Bah. Today is teh suck.
from annanotbob :
I just added you - yay for being honest about mental health stuff. All the best xx
from sixweasels :
Yay for hairy-chinned Russian ladies and all us non-blonde-Amazon but still frickin' cute people.
from dangerspouse :
I was just waiting for you to beg for it, like all my other bitches. Well done. And hey - that's a pretty lame description you gave ME, so you have no grounds for complaint.
from xat :
Can you imagine a whole Busby Berkley chorus line of luminescent vibrators? *giggle* *snort* **!X
from metanephros :
OK, so I read your comment (and I giggled), then it disappeared. Is it HaloScan, or is it me? Sheesh...
from metanephros :
Hey thanks for the support, witty. And I'm pretty excited about the mom thing, too. Woot!
from xat :
A hit! A hit! A very palpable hit! "I've Got a Ticket to Clitorides" oof...argh...brava! *grin* **!G
from kittiefan17 :
Hey witty, thanx for the comment. I really should stop caring about whether or not I win a poetry contest...I don't know, I guess i made such a big deal out of it because winning prizes would make me feel validated as a poet...but you're right, screw 'em all.
from smedindy :
Ah, but I want something original, something that sings out to ME and me alone. Yet, I suck, and cannot do it myself. Oh, woe is me.
from smedindy :
I hope you know you are now #1 on my buddy list, since my other "a's" freaked out on me. That's a good thing! No pressure!
from dangerspouse :
That WAS a nekkid shot of my ass. I just have very poor skin. And you really are a slut, you know that? God, I love you.....
from discodave :
sounds a pretty damn good idea, actually... Dxx
from xat :
As far as pain, eep!, but the results are worth the discomfort. I think. *laugh* **!G.
from xat :
Awww darn! And you're right, art and terrible movies +do+ go together. Dang. **!X
from smedindy :
Well, the women were more memorable, yes, but I have an eye for the ladies in the hizzy, yo.
from awittykitty :
That would be interesting if "A" asked ME to shag. Woo.
from sixweasels :
Okay, one of my friend Sully's more (or sometimes less) endearing qualities is that he likes to imitate Austin's "shall we shag now or shag later, baby?" line. So now I'm envisioning your "A" doing this, even though I have only a vague picture of what he looks like, and it's cracking me up!
from falo :
Hey there Witty. Just wanted to let you know that you totally got me with your Snowmo Erectus entry title. Thanks for the laughs.
from crazy4muffin :
You know I'm not talking about you Witty when I dogged persons in my last entry. You are not the problem. I wouldn't begrudge a single cent to help persons like yourself out. You have to remember what I am surrounded by every single day. In fact I am a huge proponent of more services for the mentally ill. It is a shame what little Texas has to offer persons with mental illness. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a place that is giving money and services to people that simply don't want to try. If you want to have a baby here and can't afford it, we will pay for the entire thing. However, if you have a mental illness and need some well deserved help and services, we can't turn you away fast enough. It sickens me.
from dangerspouse :
Yeah, we manage to dredge up some of those Cosa Nostra chum once in a while. If they're wearing a nice suit (good odds) we'll usually purloin that, but otherwise we cut them free. Just too tough eating.
from gerg69 :
happy valentines day kitten!
from thecrankyone :
stupid d*land comments like to call me a spammer!! appy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Witty, happy birthday to you. Just be glad I'm not really singing, as being almost tone deaf is a little hard on the ears, or so I've been told.. Glad you had a mostly good day
from arc-angel666 :
Happy Birthday in advance! Tomorrow I shall remove several candles from my birthday cake. I'm taken 10 off for Poola may I remove a few for you? :-) Happy Birthday!
from sanetwin :
ha. um. I'm an airhead. Really I am. Please. do call me one and laugh. I just reread the comment and my message to you and uhhhh yeah I'm an airhead.
from sanetwin :
don't fire 'em yet. No doubt I trashed it thinking it was penis enlargement ads.
from sanetwin :
I didn't get an email?!
from thecrankyone :
what exactly is dbt? I'm somewhat familiar with BPD, having read about it, in relation to research on my own issues, but I've never heard of dbt before. I'm suprised none of Warren's doctors ever mentiond BPD, or maybe it is just because of his age. I never made a connection either, though he does fit some of the requirements. I've love to hear more, so when I go to his dr again (we are also hoping for more neurological testing), I can sound like I know what I am talking about.
from catsoul :
Hey Witty, you've been TAGGED...by Catsoul
from smedindy :
Hmmm...I replied to your missive? Hmmmm...maybe the spam filter on your ISP ate it? I'll resend, too.
from smedindy :
Did my answer to your email make sense?
from awittykitty :
Sorry CS, but when I clicked on your name it doesn't go anywhere, so I am unable to help you. But the answer is: No, you can't change your name unless you start a whole different diary. Good luck.
from csmaciej :
hello. i am new and just clicked on a name. is there any way to change my user name? i just opened this up tonight. thank you
from whystinger :
Cool diary. I will respect your privacy, except to make a comment. I like your pictures. I clicked in on your banner, so i hope to find more pics... I had a friend that wanted to take pics in the graveyard. I thought that was kinda, well bullshit and disrecpectful. I went along anyway... And I had a blast. We went to a very old Cemetary that was still in use. It had some real beauty. I found that I had respect for the graves and we visited and shot pictures. I have since visited a few. Funny, but I think the dead would enjoy someone enjoying their final resting place...
from discodave :
Oh god - the images you've unleashed... ewww. Dxx
from wistful-blue :
"I've liked some but if it involves too much re-typing of html codes, my eyes glaze over and I need a cookie." Oh my gawd, you are hilarious! :-) No wonder you're a PROFESSIONAL writer. Please forgive me if I'm coming across as a brown noser, I'm really *not* trying to kiss up. It's just, so few people can make me laugh out loud with their writing like you, I feel the need to pay homage. -cat
from loob :
I really love the picture you put in for November, which I will refer to as the rainbow-coloured sea anemone. :)
from boxx9000 :
MERRY CHRISTMAS 2005!
from soft-fairy :
the name's like so quite...wittykitty...lol
from smedindy :
I didn't mean that in big, deep snow you shouldn't drive slow. It's that some people here see flurries or light snow that hasn't accumulated and drive like it's a monsoon.
from northrup :
Thanks. I may be a theatre prostitute, but I can't bring myself to deny my core values. I'm a HARD CORE clown, darnit.
from northrup :
What can I say? I read somewhere that Chicks dig guys with really big words.
from niceguymike :
The kitty-zapping thing is pretty good (well, OK, bad, but good in a sort of mean-but-humorous way), but my favorite thing was putting tape on their paws. They can't stand to not feel the floor, so they high-stepped all over the place!
from true-diamond :
your latest pics are cool witty. Nice to know someon besides me thought of john today. TD
from sixweasels :
Your post on dating reminded me of all the reasons I don't wanna play. I wish we could order up men like carry-out Chinese food.
from northrup :
She keeps requesting that I pour pickle juice into the acquarium. And making 250 tiny cribs is a pain in the arse.
from sixweasels :
The car stuff does just suck, suck, suck! Hope you have a much better day today.
from xat :
Damn, and I've already tendered my regrets. I have the PERFECT friends to carry off the whole QT/"Pulp Fiction" ambiance/effect. With tattoos and Bad Attitudes and prepared to discuss the relative merits of the Cheeseburger Royale ad nauseum. Oh well. Maybe for the Fabulous Company Picnic...if I'm still working in this hellhole. *mwah!* !X
from gumphood :
You need to stop feeding the cat so that it gets hungry! This mouse must go. Don't use glue traps unless you want to hear a mouse scream as it chews its own leg off. (and you're comments/supergold is out!)
from poolagirl :
Dang! I know better than to read your entries whilst drinking hot coffee - or rootbeer - or anything, for that matter! You just crack my shit up!
from goingloopy :
Oh, yes. Thadeus will be back. Poor little Guardcat...but at least you will have fun tormenting your mother for the winter. "I think he may be back inside...Guardcat was lurking by the [insert name of furniture or appliance] again..." Now, if you could only train him to use the litterbox...
from hissandtell :
"Kill the mouse! Cut her throat! Bash her in!", to paraphrase "Lord of the Flies". Awww, he's such a cutie. But you are absolutely correct, dearest kitticakes: Nobody and nothing - especially not if it's two inches long and possibly poxy - should make the magnificent Witty Pussy feel like a failure. Damned cheek of the little bugger. (And are you sure Guard Cat was merely *playing* with the pen? Sounds suspiciously to me as if she were teaching herself to write...) Love, R xxx
from smedindy :
Hey, your comments are turned off. So, I'll copy it here: At least that was a cute l'il vermin. My mom would have insisted he was skewered, though. Of course, she's the one that always kept the Oatmeal Pies out of the box, so mice could just chew threw the cellophane to get that Little Debbie goodness
from thecrankyone :
if this posts twice, I appologize, my computer is having "issues" I would say go for it, what little you've said, sounds like a great story, the other's you described sounded more like "Dick and Jane" kids like fun stories they can use there imaginations on, not ones that talk down to them. You are an amazing writer. Oh and I agree, "the what if" game is enough to drive anybody insane, we all have to make choices and live with those choices, but I was also thinking about how we can be shaped by things totally out of our control, how a single random even, like my uncle, could have such far reaching consequences. LIke for example, if Jack Kennedy's older brother hadn't died in the war, how would American politics possibly be different, weird shit like that.. I told you my mind was strange..
from ramblin-bill :
Thanks for adding me... When and where are we doing the Broadway thing? :-)
from beelucky :
The funny thing about the Fancy Feast projectile barf, is that way more Fancy Feast comes out than initially went in. How do the good folks at Purina manage that one? Now I only buy the flavors that match the color of my carpet...just in case.
from clipchick :
So sorry about the double post-I've been having issues with that lately...and I just wrote you a note in my notes section. Gosh! The John Wayne thing is what had me laughing so hard yesterday too-and Hank Azaria's so hysterical in that it almost overlooks Calista Flockheart (sp?) lackluster, half-hearted attempt at acting...
from clipchick :
Hey There-just wanted to let you know that yesterday I had a movie marathon-saw An American in Paris, Birdcage, Brigadoon, AND Singing in the Rain. I thought to myself-"Witty would probably dig this!" So, there you have it...
from clipchick :
Hey There-just wanted to let you know that yesterday I had a movie marathon-saw An American in Paris, Birdcage, Brigadoon, AND Singing in the Rain. I thought to myself-"Witty would probably dig this!" So, there you have it...
from thecrankyone :
thanks for the kind comment regaarding Warren. Actually, he does see a councilor, a very nice gentlement, Dr. W, who helps a lot. Thank the Maker I have good (if over priced)insurance BC/BS thru work. I am thinking he may need to see him more often, unfortunately I think my insurance also limits how many visits a year he can have, which is really shitty. But so far they cover 100%. :)
from smedindy :
Hey, it was a fab looking outfit, if I do say so myself. Oh, I know, woe is me about the expensive toy without a remote. But I really thought I did a great job in putting the dang thing back together - even if I did injure myself with a screwdriver. Sigh...
from his-holiness :
Aw hell, look at it like this; You didn't have a kid when you were 16. & yeah, the stories are endless. there's a script in there somwhere.
from sexychelle :
Love the diary often read but always something comes up so thought while its quiet here I will drop you a couple of lines keep up the excellant writing
from smedindy :
I think they were singing stuff from "South Pacific" and "Brigadoon"!
from true-diamond :
Hi witty sorry I haven't written in a while. Your sunflowers look great, your cat is adorable....and you're right about the dark-haired stanger it always happens that way. Hugs, TD
from true-diamond :
Hi witty sorry I haven't written in a while. Your sunflowers look great, your cat is adorable....and you're right about the dark-haired stanger it always happens that way. Hugs, TD
from sixweasels :
That view from your new apartment is amazing. Enjoy it - after all you went through to get there you deserve it!
from idiot-milk :
Well, see, but I have always maintained that I am not OCD for reasons just like that. My friends and family, however, counter with the suggestion that I am selectively OCD. I think they're just jerks, and that I just like certain things in certain, precise ways. That's not pathological, that's a sign of discriminating tastes, that right there.
from hedgehoggy :
Find anything interesting? You come by from time to time. I'll admit that I am curious as to why people keep doing this.
from candoor :
I was enjoying you when my microsoftware crashed again and I must reboot, but your window remained open so I am leaving this note to remind myself of where I was in my browsing this weekend... hope life is smiling for you :)
from zencelt :
This is cool stuff, isn't it?
from sixweasels :
People who volunteer to help and then think that just by being there sitting on their asses they're doing just that deserve evil glares of doom. Three cheers for asshat co-workers - NOT! Sounds like you made sure the event went fine anyway, though.
from clipchick :
Thanks so much for your kind words, they helped a lot to make me feel better! Daddy's girls rock the house :D
from wickedcrazy :
Thank god I'm not alone in my paranoia. Wanna hide in a bunker together? I snore sometimes but I know the words to just about every song ever from the 80's so I could entertain you with my crazy cool jams.
from sixweasels :
It has been so long since I moved that I've forgotten what a horrible pain in the ass it is. Yes, splurge on that massage. You're doing wonderfully with all this ... moving makes me want to huddle in a corner and drool.
from celebrations :
Come to Celebrations and join, it's fun and it's free!
from somstar :
I've never seen Annie Hall, but you make me want to.
from sixweasels :
Yep, no doubt. If I end up on my own, I will absolutely call boys to kill bugs. And if no boys I know are home, I will start calling strangers. Good luck talking to Harold The Geek!
from onewetleg :
i love it when cats fall in love with stuff. thanks, witty, i know im worthy. argh. he's making me insane. he's so cute. so cute. smells so good. lives so close. argh. i wanna punch him in the head. why can't he just stfu and do me?
from hissandtell :
Darling witty - I adored your last email - I'll write back to you when I get my own computer back. I cannot write anything meaningful on a boy's computer in a big black leather boy's chair with icky boy-germs everywhere - there's even a spanner-thingy and a pair of pliers on the big hulking ugly laminate boy's desk, for goodness sakes! And don't even get me started on all the satellite imagery and maps and images saying "chromatic aberration" and documents on Salinity Management and preventing loss of biodiversity and maintaining ecological processes associated with natural wetlands, lakes and springs I have to wade through to find somewhere to sit. I suspect I'd even find a couple of poddy calves and a bale of hay under the desk if I dared to look... Love, R xxx
from monkey-king :
Hiya - as to Magnolia and what hits hardest, the whole William H. Macy's broken-mouthed admission of having love to give, the kid telling his dad that he has to be nicer, and the Claudia looking up and giving a shy, hopeful smile to the camera at the very end. Which is odd, 'cause that's supposed to be a hopeful ending. Did you know that if you put on subtitles at that part, Jim the cop is actually giving her a speech? Anyway, maybe I should have watched Strange Brew instead. "Now he's not here, I got two soakers, this isn't heaven, this sucks!"
from sixweasels :
Oh, man, your reaction to my reaction to the shrink-call had ME laughing. Thanks!
from f-i-n :
i love tjmaxx
from razor-vixen :
Women who pee on the seat....they squat. I know several friends who do this. However, if you can't control your squat, then it's time to sit. Totally grosses me out, too. At least wipe it down afterwards. Don't be lazy AND disgusting.
from xat :
Oh, if only his name had been Dick. *sigh* If nothing else, Curt was a wonderful description of his intellectual prowess. (Gads, I'm a bitch. *grin*) **!X
from gerg69 :
kitty kat, Thank you for the birthday wishes. you are an awesome woman to rememeber that. One thousand kisses, hugs and naughty thoughts go to you.
from my-solitaire :
Wow we have 1 wal-mart and we don't even really have it, the next town over does, but hey we have do me sex here too!
from thedetails :
I just saw your Tom Cruise Prozac Banner and I actually scared the Hubby and kids with my raucous laughter. It's really great.
from his-holiness :
Thank you, Ms. Witty. I think drawing is kind of like dealing with Los Angeles. We all know that it's fake, so if we take it on its level, as nothing more than an imaginary space, we will win.
from sixweasels :
Yay for the Wittyroar! I used to stand outside yelling in my Asscrack Neighbor's window when they wouldn't let their poor dog in and he barked his head off at 3 am. It never worked. You have "Be A Better Neighbor, You Asshats" Mojo!
from kidzpinkcat :
My husband is 9 years and 11 days older than me, but he acts like he's 50 years older. He is a bit of a fuddy-dud, but he he says he likes my "youthful spirit". PUH-LEEZ! He plays golf for fun and thinks stepping out is going to the all-you-can-eat buffet at Golden Corral for military discount night. (snore) He may be 38 but really he's 68. Trust me.
from arc-angel666 :
Dear Ms Witty: Obviously You and I are of different opinions when it comes to dining. I feel one should never eat until everything as been properly prep-ed, seasoned and the table properly set. As far as certain areas being nelected I assure you I leave nothing to nelect, that area will always get the attention it is due :-) By the way I have run into a number of folks here that share our birthday. All incredibly good looking very intelligent and modest just like us lol.
from mpeacock :
I don't want to be a downer but every single guy I met on match.com was a complete weirdo! I think you should stick to your guns. No to too much older guys.
from sixweasels :
Chris is two months younger than me. Before we met, everyone I dated was anywhere between 1-5 years older, but I don't remember seeing anyone older than that.
from crazy4muffin :
You are amazing; I read your entries in awe. They should follow you around with a camera to caught these people whose paths you cross. I'm excited about the new apartment; mostly I am jealous of all the beautiful art work you will have to cover the walls. I spend 1000's of bucks just to put something nice up, and here you can create your own. Again I will ask, do you ever sell your art work?
from yeahimadork :
Oh, I am all over the gardenstate blog. Smart and funny really does it for me with men. I found the blog a long time ago, and it just solidified my desire to become Mrs. Braff. He finally updated it recently... I was beginning to think he'd never come back. He's ever so dreamy...
from sixweasels :
The heat and humidity around here has gotten totally ridiculous too. I always said if I wanted to live in a swamp, I'd be a frog or something. Hang in there!
from zencelt :
I'm feeling very powerful right now. If I were magical I'd be dangerous ;)
from hissandtell :
Is your comments section working, darling? I can't tell. Anyway, here's mine: OOOOOHHHHH! Comments! Am I your first, miss witticakes? You dream about really enormous vibrating English cucumbers and I dream about really enormous vibrating English penises (usually attached to Colin Firth) - now I wonder what "A" would make of that? Love, R xxx
from his-holiness :
Everything went wonderfully, but a hug would still be welcome. As would more coffee... I think I'll get on that.
from bluemeany :
Your work situation sounds like hell! I hate unsolicited advances of any kind, but it's even worse when you have to work with the person every day -- no thank you! Oh, and by the way, happy belated anniversary, because I'm stupid and forgot to tell you before :)
from yeahimadork :
I only signed up on match a week ago, and I've gotten three lesbian matches. I don't get it. Nothing in my profile indicates a love of all things vaginal, but it keeps happening to me, too. Damn the man.
from clipchick :
Happy Anniversary Tooooooo Yooooooou! Congrats, woman! This site's a much better place because you're on it! If you hadn't posted this entry, I never would've known that we both have cats that share the plastic bag fetish. He also enjoys licking the hamper, my once new sleeping bag (until he licked it into submission), and his sister Sylvia (boy, that sounds soooo wrong!). In fact, in order to calm down his crankiness (being an 18 pound cat, you don't want him angry) I have to throw a plastic bag down in the middle of the floor to change his focus... Anyway, if it wasn't for your hysterical and impeccably classic writing, I would never have gotten brave enough to start a diary of my own. Thank you for inspiring me.
from poolagirl :
Happy anniversary, kitty girl! YAY! I think you should download your entries and sell them as a book! Happy day!
from thecrankyone :
Happy 2 years on diaryland. Hope you stick around for many more, I always get a laugh reading your entries.
from hissandtell :
Happy anniversary, deerest kittikins (oh, damn that spellcheck!) Please promise you'll continue to entertain us here, spreading your fabulously snarky witty-kitty-joy forever. (And after that "dairyland" remark you made, I can't stop thinking about the cat-milking conversation in "Meet the Parents", for some reason...) Love, R xxx
from bluemeany :
Witty, you are too generous -- but of course, rules are rules! I will share Johnny, as long as I get to wrestle in chocolate with you and Hiss. (Need I remind you: primary goal in life?)
from his-holiness :
Oh my lord... you nearly made me wet myself... I'm hyperventilating...
from mpeacock :
I am honored, but I could never live up to your writing. username mpeacock password sammo.
from xat :
Congratulations on surviving the storm of noise over the 4th. How gauche people are, neh? And I looked up my ex- recently, found a few pictures and...dear gods, he's turned into Rob Jeremy. *insert horrified screaming here* I say good riddance and since he's marrying AGAIN this month (a mystery for the ages that I cannot fathom), he's SO going to be someone else's problem. Be brave, buckaroo...my heart goes out to you. **!X
from entrapta :
I look at my ex's website all the time, even though I dumped HIM because he was dumb like rock. And I don't know what to say about T. I want to say "I hope his wife gets herpes and then is attacked by rabid jellyfish of the coast of Africa" but that's bad kharma. Damn kharma.
from pandionna :
You're beautiful when you rant. Your snark is so poignant. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!
from hissandtell :
(Wink, wink, kitty.) Yes, I'm guilty of occasionally googling my old boyfriends - well, only the famous ones. Or the rich ones. Or the bastards. Or the Russell Crowe types... Oh, babe. Look at it this way: if you'd married T, HE would have been forced to make something amazing of his life to impress YOU and keep you happy, and now you'd be a miserable lush living in luxury screwing the poolman for a diversion from your relentless overseas travel. Or something. (Send me the perfect family's details, doll - when they get to Oz, I'll pinch the living crap out of his rich wife for you, alrighty?) Love, R xxx
from darcy-farrow :
Thanks, Kitty. Golf is definitely on my expanded list as is people who rush out of public events just to end up causing a traffic jam (can you tell I just got back from the fireworks?) Happy In(ter)dependence Day!!
from xat :
I'm sending stalwart mojo to you from the shadow of Mt. Hood. So is HellKitty. She just looked at me and said, "Prrrrrrrrrrt? Ngaow," which I will cavalierly assume means good mojo to you. Go. Breathe. Be fabulous. (And anyone who says differently shall be taunted with acerbic wit.) **!X.
from crazy4muffin :
You give manic depressives a good name; you are so funny and talented. I can relate, perhaps not to the extent of your situation, but can relate. Two types of meds have successfully kept me from committing multiple homicide at out local Walmart. And the manic thing? I get very very big ideas on art and home projects. I still cannot remember what in the hell I was thinking when I bought a butt load of craft pillows? We won't even speak of the picture mosaic that was to rival Michael Angelos chapel ceiling. Notice the ironic trade off of manic depression is that it affects the truly talented and most artistic? Damn. If only to be untalented, stupid, and think the triple framed pictures of the chinese vase with flowers sold at Walmart is truly "art". PS the phone phobia. Practice on calls that don't make a difference. Call people you don't know and will never meet. So what if you sound like an idiot, they will never meet you. But get caller ID block first.
from hissandtell :
Sweetie pie-pie, I can't think of a single conversation that ISN'T enhanced by the occasional mention of hamsters. If I could, I'd be there in a heartbeat with my pick-up truck to help you move - I hope you know that. However, if you'd like to send me one of those strands of bouncing and sensuously curling hairs of yours (not from the chin - I have enough of my own, thank you) I can do you one of my never-fail spells, if you like. Or, I can just send you all my happy thoughts and remind you how completely wonderful you are. Good luck with the move, doll. Yuppie Village sounds perfect for you. Much love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
I'm so glad you were able to get enough out to make an appointment to go look at the apartment! Your house sounds freaky. And loud. I hope it works out so you can move. Actually, an in-town U-haul rental is usually less than $50 if you get the little one...and perhaps you can bat your eyelashes fetchingly at work and/or art class, and see if you can recruit some boys to move heavy things. Yeah, moving does pretty much blow, but once it's done...you will be all happy. :)
from bluemeany :
You know -- and I mean this in the most sensitive, loving way -- I'm glad you have crazy issues, because you write about them so perfectly! I literally snorted while reading your second paragraph. (And, psst! By the way? [whisper] I have an "addictive personality." And I should go to NA, but I don't! [end of whisper]) So keep being the wonderful sweet witty nut you are, because you're just spectacular and I love you! [grin]
from crazy4muffin :
I too have never been pregnant. It freaks me out to see a stomach that big. I want to run over and hold it up for fear that it will suddenly detach. Ouch. I can hardly stand to carry period weight around. Can not imagine. And I love your painting. Do you sell your art? What do you do with it?
from his-holiness :
Well I'm definitely thinking Harvey Fierstein as Caiaphas, and changing Judas' big dance number to an adaptation of Ziggy Stardust. And, of course having the role of Herod handled by a Divine impersonator.
from pandionna :
A headless Tom Cruise. Hmmmm. I'd still do him. Heh.
from bluemeany :
I always knew you were edgy. It's the passive agressiveness toward Billy Fucillo and inanimate objects that leap off of tables that made it clear, though! (Even though in Billy's case, it's justified. My mom bought a car from him and I wanted to scream "NOOOOOO!") Did you paint the pregnant woman? Are you going to post it? What an interesting model!
from kittiefan17 :
Hey witty, your childhood sounded waaaaay better than mine=(
from thecrankyone :
I think Tom Cruise needs mental help, the guy is clearly over the edge or on something. No wonder Nicole got out when she did, she probably seen it comming long before the rest of the world. Smart woman! I won't be seeing War of the Worlds precisely because of him. I read another interview, I wish I could find it where he was basically quoting false information and urban legend about psyciatry as fact. What little respect I had for him has been lost
from bluemeany :
You are SO referring to Billy Fucillo, aren't you? "This is HUGE, Tom, HUGE!" If that's not who you're talking about, then he's cloned himself, and that's just too scary to think about.
from poolagirl :
Oh, yeah! Those awful local car dealer ads! YES! Now, there's a guy here in San Diego - Cal Worthington. His ad says, "Go see Cal! Go see Cal! Go see Cal!" At a party one night, a guy, not hearing the words correctly, was taken aback by what he thought he heard. Pussy Cow! Pussy Cow! Pussy Cow! One of the funniest things I have EVER heard!
from pandionna :
OMG! I had the Creepy Crawler Maker too! Now was it me, or was it a royal pain in the arse to make the millipedes? Their little legs would tear off in the tray. Never had the Easy-Bake Oven, though. I think that was my mother's statement in the name of women's lib. But we had so many "hazards," didn't we? Well, I STILL won't wear a helmet if I'm riding my bike on a paved path. Nyahh!
from goingloopy :
You still look the same in photos...something about your pose and your smile. And I miss dangerous toys, too. I had an Easy Bake. I broke a bunch of crayons and tried to cook them. My mother was not pleased. Whoops. :)
from poolagirl :
What an amazing entry! Are you going to write a book, dear one?
from bluemeany :
You got to experience fingernail-sweat! Wasn't it fun? I know I enjoy it. Also, as far as cute-blonde-size-zero envy goes, I'm totally with you. My best friend from birth through high school was 5'9", blonde, skinny and gorgeous, compared to me -- 5'4", semi-proportional, frizzy-brown-haired and average-looking. Needless to say, I was "the funny one" in that duo. And, to dramatically change subjects yet again, I think you should intentionally exaggerate all of the man-bits you draw from here on out, and send the finished product in a frame to your cousin. Just because, you know, conflict is fun.
from pandionna :
I am sorry, but I will NEVER find it acceptable to see someone's bra. In Glamour, they had the Do and Don't of visible bra straps. I couldn't believe that visible bra straps could EVER be a Do. The Do was wearing a racer back black top, with a regular black bra. It totally defeated the purpose of a racer back top, which is to show off the shoulder blades. The Don't had the same thing, but with a white bra. I don't know. I think visible bra straps look trailer-park-trashy. In fact, I may have to write a rant about that soon.
from juliepoo15 :
Hi, it's me again. I saw you mentioned birds again so I had to comment 'cause I'm a dork. I currently have a lovebird and he is SO AWESOME. Plus, he didn't cost that much (only $50) because they're easily bred in captivity. If you ever want to get a little birdy friend of your own, I suggest a male lovebird. Get him as a baby and he will be your friend for life. It's a myth that lovebirds have to be in pairs. They are fine by themselves, just so long as you give him attention every day. It's not too hard to have a bird with a cat, either. I have a kitty and it's no problem. Kitties are smart and can be trained. Or, if you're looking for an even LESS expensive bird, you can get a little budgie (parakeet). You can go to the pet store and pick out a young one that isn't petrified of you and work with it... It's a lot of fun.
from discodave :
Yeah, the eyes...could be - although you don't actually see them in the movie ;) He has a strangely proportioned face. Still, the guy from Spiderman looks like he'd be more creepy in reality... Dxx
from autumnleigh :
The lilypad photo is GORGEOUS! Love the colors! Have a great weekend.
from yeahimadork :
About the comment you left in my diary: MY GOD. I couldn't even imagine what that must have been like. I am flipping out right now thinking about it...
from xat :
A spider silk 26-storey condominium between the knees? Well dang, *laugh* I am impressed. I doubt I'll get there; I do have an unnatural relationship with my shower head. No spider can stand against the mighty power of the pulsating massage setting. *cackle* You can imagine my surprise though, upside-down, towel clutched around my noggin and *eep!* an eensy arachnid swinging like Esther Williams from a trapeze over a pool of water. **!X
from goingloopy :
If you figure out the clay body and lottery ticket thing, share the love. And I just read your comment on Andria's diary about your cat...and that seriously almost made my heart quit beating. That is horrible. I can't even imagine. That also removes any thought I had about having my little Emily's knots professionally removed.
from autumnleigh :
A friend of mine went through a similar ordeal with her dad several years ago. The woman was a pro -- my friend's father was her third victim. Fortunately, they were not married and my friend was able to intervene (legal guardianship), but not before the money was gone. Very sad, very frustrating.
from thecrankyone :
I'm so sorry about what happened to your dad. It sounds like there wasn't alot you could have done, in your dad's state of mind, it was too easy for the bitch to lie and manipulate him. With any luck there's and especailly hot place in hell for people like her. Too bad the Phillipino gov't isn't more help. Have you tried getting the US gov't to help? or are they worthless also
from poolagirl :
Gosh, witty. That is absolutely horrid! I am so sorry this happened to your family! Holding you in my heart.
from goingloopy :
That just sucks on every level. I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of this.
from bluemeany :
Wow. I hate that bitch. Make her die. Maybe send her to the Taliban.
from hissandtell :
Hey, I had a massage by a m to f transsexual the other day. She was 6'2 and blonde, with huge hands, a deep voice, and the magicest fingers ever - and she didn't come onto me even once. Now, what do you make of that? Love, R xxx
from poolagirl :
Eeeeks! You've got yerself a ghost, girl! Or maybe it's one of them guardian angels!
from autumnleigh :
Groovy!
from awittykitty :
EEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEE! Don't say that Meeny. I'll start freaking out thinking I'm going to fall into another dimension.
from goingloopy :
By the "National Enquirer" thing, I just meant, why not make some money off this...so you could move somewhere less freak-a-licious. I hit "send" before I was done typing, because I am a retard.
from goingloopy :
That is some seriously creepy shit. Maybe you could sell your story to the National Enquirer. But I think the thing on the photo lens looks like some floating pollen, or a bug, that got too close to the camera...or someone who moved. You did look all cute in your hippie outfit. :)
from bluemeany :
I think the thing in your photo is a portal into another dimension.
from bluemeany :
Damn, what an ordeal! Hang on, I'll be right over with some margarita mix and The Best Of Jimmy Buffet. And a hot naked man, of course. Can't forget him.
from kittiefan17 :
Hey, just wanted to say how funny I think you are, and how much I enjoy reading your diary. The one entry that really got me, was the one where your printer (or was it your computer?) turned on mysteriously. That's way freaky! I also liked that little picture you added of Buckwheat. haha that was cute. Anyways, if you wnat to, you can read my diary (kittiefan17.diaryland.com) it's full of a lot of teenage drama and imaturity, but oh well, that's me.
from xat :
Laws a mercy, I don't know how many times I've wished for an easy pour, directional spout like the male of the species. It ain't fair that women have to basically get undressed to pee. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. **!X.
from zencelt :
Oh, I'm so with you. Why isn't letting your vulnerable child sleep in the same bed with a grown man who is not a relative, etc. illegal? Any other parent would have been charged with child endangerment. I thnk the prosecutors were less than stellar (or paid off). There is a fine line between your nephew/god-kid sleeping with you because they are scared of the dark and some stranger's kid sleeping with you because you want to play with him. Anyway, thanks for the extra venting. Hope you're having a nice day otherwise!
from juliepoo15 :
Hello there! I'm somewhat of a new reader of your diary. I really enjoy it, you are a very interesting person and a fantastic writer. Love your bird story! Soooo cute! I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. Hehe...silly birds! It's great to see that you're doing so well for yourself, considering all of the obstacles you've had in your life. Keep it up!
from bluemeany :
Oh witty, why did you have to get me started thinking about Angelina and her whips? Now I need some alone time ...
from onewetleg :
thank you kitty! it really felt good to have this woman listen to me and praise me and actually trust me to do a job without looking over my shoulder and berating me or making unfunny jokes all day. the pain in my neck went away! literally and figuratively!
from minnapop :
Saw your comment about Grand Theft Auto: Amish and your frustration about them not driving. They DO, however have those buggies and they hitch rides from neighbors sometimes. They just don't own cars. You could just find the cars toting the Amish and take them out...
from zencelt :
; ) ) Oh yes, and assholery DID commence...
from goingloopy :
Spiders are icky, no matter what size. So are home improvement projects. And I really need one of those bumper stickers. :)
from wench77 :
Hey there! thanks for the note. Yeah, that is a bit excessive no matter what one is doing... very mafia-like, not parental-like. Congrats on the painting sale, and I'm glad you're able to do artwork now! tah!
from monkey-king :
Not at all kitty, not at all. I mean, I have all that stuff for Daredevil. That HAS to be worse. And I WAS reviewing the copy of the book of the making of the film for Nightmare. I just had no idea there was that much stuff. It was a little frightening. What would make you a loser is if you pointed out that I got the dog�s name wrong. But I figured that out on my own, so what�s that make me?
from poolagirl :
Damn! I just HATE it when my Diet Coke lunges off the shelf and douses my electrical systems! Actually, I have had that happen too. If it was hot in your room (yes?), it slid off on its own condensation. Maybe. Or maybe it was just possessed.
from mpeacock :
I just found your diary. I am crying with laughter!
from sixweasels :
You could always have told him the toy was some sort of art-deco lamp, but the bulb was out. Then again, maybe not. I hope you find out who did the drawing - I'd be sooo curious if I was you!
from crazy4muffin :
the hell? No "glazed donut"? I suppose "duck sex" is also out of the question.
from bluemeany :
I've never had the exquisite pleasure of watching duck-fucking, but I must give you props for your comment on the subject. When all else fails, state the obvious!
from thecrankyone :
I've never seen fowl sex, however I have had the pleasure of watching barnyard orgies (well not exactly) but I do remember as a kid watching out dog (not a real bright dog) try to get it on with the cats (who didn't know what to think). Ahh hippies, when I was a kid I would see them on tv or see the older hippie wanna be kids at the high school (considering my hometown is like out of the Waltons with out the southerness - ym ya) and think they were so neat. Considering I was born in '69 near the end of the movement. I've been hippi-ish. I like underwear and shaved pits, but I definately have some hippie tendancies towards child rearing. (family bed, nursing till the kids weans off, etc..). I'd kill for a chance to see San Fran and Marin Cty. Not just for Skywalker Ranch either. The whole place just sounds so cool!
from awittykitty :
Why am I not surprised that you have seen a duck dick, Hiss?? Hee Hee!! Yeah, I've seen Geese Sex too. I used to live next to a river. And its VERY noisy!!! Although I didn't run over to check out its little honker-wanker. LOL.
from hissandtell :
I've seen a duck-dick! It was pink and squishy and shaped like an oversized jellybean, except it didn't look at all appetising. (It was in working order and actually attached to my drake, I hasten to add - he just didn't put it away properly after he withdrew from his duck-daff - which was not with me, but with a very pretty Khaki Campbell - or was it a Muscovy?) Oooh, you'd enjoy goose-sex, too. It's very animated and noisy and the other geese swim around the happy couple honking cheerfully and trying to get in on the act (menage a trois is considered tres chic in the goose-world, I understand). Which reminds me: we had a gander once who had NO IDEA. He used to take ages to mount the hen-goose, then get on backwards so his bottom was in her face, flap his wings around a lot and fall off. The poor girl was pretty damned pissed off with his inexpertise. Love, R xxx
from his-holiness :
Yeah... He's the best. Just moments ago saw that Anne Bancroft died. Also just learned that she was married to Mel Brooks... I never would have guessed.
from xat :
Gracias, merci, grazie, and thank you for the good juju. *grin*
from lynz-q94 :
heh. i thought my dad was the only one who knew Omar. :)
from goingloopy :
Yeah, I'm not fond of the foreign waxing/nail gluing chatter, either. (Around here, they are vietnamese.) And I just got eyebrow-raped, too. They asked about the 'stache, but I'm like, it's blond, and I have never felt such pain as the one time I did that, so not only no, but FUCK no. PS-You posted a pic of yourself last week-ish, and you do not look fat, nor does your chin look hairy. You in fact DO look hot, so work it, witty. :)
from sixweasels :
My clothes have been making me fat these days too, and they're really starting to piss me off. I'm terrified to do the eyebrow wax thing - I pluck my own and whine like a baby every time I do!
from poolagirl :
So sorry to hear about your cousin. It sounds like her life was an inspiration to so many!
from goingloopy :
Damn. I thought since you hadn't mentioned weirdo lesbian chick in a while, that maybe she quit or something. Icky. I'm sorry about your cousin, but it sounds like the way she lived was inspiring.
from xat :
Lovely work, and yes, hands are a bitch and a half. *grin* **!x.
from poolagirl :
I really love your art, witty.
from goingloopy :
You left one out..."plow my furrow"...but the rake & toolshed thing was pretty damn funny. And "Kinsey" (fairly new movie w/ Liam Neeson) has some exposed penis action. Plus, it's all about sex. ;)
from sixweasels :
I'm going to be making gardening innuendos all day now, because for some reason the rake/shed thing just cracked me up!
from zencelt :
Hey, maybe with that cute pic on D-land, all the single D-land men will be jumping at you !!! DLANDMATCH.com
from gumphood :
I'm a total coke addit.
from ariawoman :
Oh and one last thing, in case you have Shoprite in your area...they too seem to be doing the coke 4 12 packs for 9.00 and then a 5.00 mail in rebate thing ;-) I'm trying to help a fellow "coke addict" hehe
from ariawoman :
You'd not like H then. He voted for Bush. I still am not entirely sure how i'm dating him LOL. As for the profiles, i'm pretty sure they dont read them. They are like "oh, tits, i'll wink at her" cuz I have been pretty specific in my profiles and still get men that think they are perfect for me. Oh, and I'm totally with you on the spelling thing. I can't date someone that can't take the time to express themselves at least somewhat close to grammatically correct...(yeah that was probably grammatically incorrect but that's ok LOL). Is that really you in the picture? You've never shown yourself, and I'm all excited if it's really you! :-)
from xat :
It's not that men don't read, they're cursed with eternal hope. "Let's see," they think,"I can charm her with my boyish good looks and sparkling wit. Then she will not notice my thriving taxidermy business and the Oliver North bumper sticker on my filing cabinet." Yeah. That's it.
from poolagirl :
My GOD you are funny!
from goingloopy :
They are all lying sacks of shit and they can't spell. Just my personal experience, of course. However, sometimes the on-paper perfect ones are spark-free, and the opposites...well, the sparks fly. However, if nothing else, online dating is always lovely diary fodder. *snicker*
from purplecigar :
"If there are any men reading this, are you all lying sacks of shit?"---well now, this ought to get you some interesting comments....Also? Jimmy Hoffa?! HAHAHA!!
from awittykitty :
I was wondering what all that mojo was on my mojo radar. Thanks Xat! Right back at'cha!
from xat :
There's good mojo flyin' at you from the Pacific Northwest for new friends, lover(s) {as you see fit} *grin*, and nothing but yummy deliciousness in all your dealings. S'truth! **!x.
from ariawoman :
Yeah..it was on sale 4 12 packs for 9 dollars. But then there was a 5.00 rebate, bringing it to 4 12 packs for 4 dollars. 48 goes into 4.00 at 8 cents a can. I was stoked, as I too, live off the stuff, at least, I try to LOL. :-) It was at Pathmark, not sure if you have them in your area, but if so, check it out, because it's still on sale, i believe til tomorrow...
from sixweasels :
I thought I was the only one who thought of the Drew Carey show when I came across those "memes" in journals! Oh, and you had a monkey growing up?
from hissandtell :
Arrggghhh! You've never told me you saw Janis in the flesh! I MUST know more. And besides, that in itself is enough to make me want to marry you (don't worry; we'll probably never get around to it) because I decided today (for the 322nd time) that I really must bonk Kris Kristofferson before I die - and, as I'm sure you know, Janis always said Kris was the best bonk she ever had. He was so good she farmed him out to her girlfriends to try. So, you see, this is sort of three degrees of separation, and that's pretty darned near enough for an aging starfucker like me. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
Love those old cowboys. An old one passed me the other morning and says "morning glory". How sweet.
from his-holiness :
It went Brilliantly! Looks like I've landed 8-10 of the voices.
from goingloopy :
...see, I don't think I would ever go to a GI doctor unless I was actually able to see pieces of internal organs when I yakked. I seriously almost hurled just READING that. I'm glad you made it through okay...and it sucks that you didn't get $50 grand, because you deserved it after that.
from pandionna :
No married men. No romping naked in the woods. No showing your boobs to innocent passersby. But man oh man, WE GOT WOOKIE! Hugs!
from goingloopy :
Amazon.com online shopping RULES. Congrats, and enjoy...and I am sending you a virtual hug and wishes for some real ones (and more, 'cause if you're gonna wish, wish BIG)! :)
from pandionna :
"...non-discretional fartopia..." Thank you. I needed that. I needed to smile today. Ridiculous, what they put you through, though.
from blazingstar :
Yuck...a colonoscopy sounds bad enough on its own. You should not have to go through the preparation more than once!
from gumphood :
Gumphood make the money, see. Gumphood get the honeys, G. Drivin in my car, livin' like a star. Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus
from sixweasels :
I think I would have reacted the same way. When you fast and take medicine to make you poop, there should be an unwritten guarantee that you can just get it overwith and NOT have to even think about dealing with it again for a long, long time. The "crock of shit" line is already taken, so I'll just say I hope tomorrow is much better!
from goingloopy :
That is some complete...ahem...shit. Doctors suck.
from xat :
I'm going to attempt to become less invisible as I age. However, I hope it doesn't involve wearing purple with red hats. These aren't good colours for me, especially in tandem. Now, maybe in a bellydance costume...hmmm. Inspiration? Maybe. Unfornicate invisibility! **!X
from awittykitty :
EEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (that's me screaming like a little girl at the thought of a spider near my girly bits, no matter how potentially pleasureable).
from hissandtell :
Hmmm, I guess you wouldn't be interested in trying out my prototype TarantulaVibe(TM), then? Eight arms that grab hold and tickle you in really unusual places? x
from hissandtell :
How enchanting. I keep imagining Lucille Ball's cooking scene in "The Long Long Trailer" - seriously, it could be carnage back there if the driver hit a bump. I suppose peeing in one's vehicle is some kind of badge of honour, though: indoor plumbing being such a novelty still in some countries and all. In Oz, seat belts are compulsory and one isn't even allowed to use a mobile phone while operating a vehicle. Gracious, I suddenly feel so deprived and backward. Love, R xxx
from warcrygirl :
<quote>"Honey, while you're in the back seat dropping a few logs, could you hand me a soda?" It truly sounds like a Monty Python bit, if you ask me.</quote> BWAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, and I'll take a ham sandwich while you're back there. Yummy!
from pandionna :
Oh, you just HAD to poke fun at Madtch. Just had to, eh? Well, I clicked the bleepin' banner, missy. And I signed the bleepin' guestbook over there. And now you OWE me. Muah ha ha ha ha...
from ariawoman :
Jewelie does the same thing. If I get out of bed at 3am, she'll jump off the bed and meow at me while i'm peeing. It's weird. Maybe she's related to GuardCat. Every time I'm in the bathroom, she comes running. I do pet her too, though, so maybe it's a Pavlov's dog thing. "Ooooh she's peeing! Time for petting!" lol.
from dangerspouse :
The DEVO dance is THE BEST! It's also the only one I know, also. If we ever get together, we've got to go to a club and impress the locals with it!
from warcrygirl :
Just so's you know, there happen to be plenty of Bushies out there who despise The Evil Empire. That is all.
from crazy4muffin :
Like your landlady, I will not answer the door after 6:00 pm. Scared? Or too lazy? Jury is still out. PS you ought to see Republicans dance.
from pandionna :
If you bend over and a giant satellite dish sprouts from yer arse, then chances are you've had a run-in with Visitors. At least, that's what Kyle and Stan would say. ;-)
from goingloopy :
I KNOW I'm a slacker, dammit...hehehe. I hate those insomnia moments where you totally wish someone else could WITNESS the bizarre shit, because no one will believe you the next day. But a hearty congrats on the garage sale finds...my favorite thing to get at G.S.'s is BOOKS. :)
from monkey-king :
I was here during the weekend!
from sixweasels :
What a creepy kind-o'-night. The printer thing would have had me jumping up and running around too. Maybe you can ask the landlord about the car. Or if it all happens again, run to the cute chiropractor's house in your cute nightie and ask for shelter ... a little damsel in distress act never hurt a girl.
from warcrygirl :
HA! You said 'garage saleing'! I've always used that term though I haven't been to any yet this season. Another trick I like to use: put a $5 and two $1's in the pocket of your dominant hand. Keep the rest of your money elsewhere. When you want something really badly and the price is too high just pull out the 5 and two ones and say "all I have is $7". If you don't want to lie keep the rest of your money in your car. This has worked for me countless times. I love a good yard sale!
from awittykitty :
That was great "Crazy4Muffin"! It actually far exceeded the original hand drawing exercise, but definitely gave me some new ideas! :-)
from crazy4muffin :
Okay, see, "L" has pissed me off. It is quite apparent she is insecure. Quite frankly I think the hand drawing idea is f'ing brilliant. I am sitting her thinking how I would describe my hand: This hand felt the new tiny beating heart of a kitten, it also felt the dieing heartbeat of a bird. This hand that carressed a lover long lost and nursed a sick friend. The cut on this hand from planting the rose bushes that I love so much; and the scar from falling off the bike my wonderful father taught me to ride. What an incredible exercise. Please try again. It is a wonderful exercise with such great potential. Did you think that up yourself? Because I am impressed.
from goingloopy :
"I feel HAPPY!!" (I tried to pick one that would better summarize today's entry.) Go Witty! And being Little Miss Depression myself, I agree with you. Wallowing is not the answer. I mean, isn't the idea of an illness to, um, like, get over it? Or at least try not to make it worse? Evidently not. Sounds like "L" is trying to become a member of the Drama Queen Brigade and have the support group be her Princesses. I'm glad you are trying to make her stop.
from warcrygirl :
How the hell did I miss this entry??? "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"
from bluemeany :
How did I miss your photo entry? "You've got two halves of a coconut and you're banging 'em together!" Spamalot better still be running when I get back from this deployment.
from xat :
Yes, and they were all proper hats; a regular and a straw fedora, and a porkpie. I go all giddy just thinking about it.
from pandionna :
"Your arm's off!" "'Tis a flesh wound."
from goingloopy :
I fart in your general direction. ;)
from ramblin-bill :
I just got tickets for Spamalot today! June 11th at 2:00 - I will be there! Woo hoo!
from crazy4muffin :
I actually majored in communications; well "organizational communications" to be exact. What does one do with a degree in communications? Well, they go to law school. We used to sit back and watch how long it would take a woman to do the "touch the arm" move. It was a sure sign she was into the guy and going in for the kill.
from hissandtell :
I also think you very much have the look of your grandmother, darling. And I understand the hiding-in-the-attic business completely. If we'd had an attic when I was working in my last job, that's where I would have stayed. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh, boys; they're so transparent. It's like when they used to chase you at primary school and pull your plaits - all because they really wanted to kiss you but they were just big doofusy scaredy-cats. When I was a much younger woman hopelessly oblivous to all cues, a friend kindly explained that whenever a man touched me - playfully, or pretend-accidentally, or whatever - it actually meant he wanted to bonk me. And darn it if she weren't 100% right! So you be careful, missy. Love, R xxx
from xat :
Darlin'! I'm so thrilled that you like my new art. Lurve to badge idea, and have made myself a laminate badge to wear. Interested? I could make on for you. Oop. Must fly. I apologize for being curt. **!X.
from bluemeany :
You look so squeezable in that picture! If I had seen you, I would have squeezed you.
from poolagirl :
My GOD you were a cute little girl! OMG!
from monkey-king :
Ok, both you and luva made Kotter references. This is some kinda Freemason thingy, huh? Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
from crazy4muffin :
Loved Fantastic Voyage as a kid. Even then I couldn't help wondering 'if they have the technology to shrink an entire ship and crew' why can't they figure out what is wrong with the guy and just fix it? I think a of folk thought that, but still, Racheal Welch in a jumpsuit with perfect hair?! Now that was the technological triumph! I want that mousse! Liked you quick sketch. I actually extended my stay in undergrad another year in order to pursue life drawing. Can I draw a vase? Nope. But I can draw one hell of a penis.
from kidzpinkcat :
Witty, Ants are attracted to moist areas. Have you ever heard that for every one you see, there are a hundred more you can't? Time to hand the ant family an eviction notice because I promise they won't be catching their end of the rent. Kidzpinkcat
from xat :
"El Gato le Scream" is fantabulous. *grin* KaliHellKitty even prrrrted her approval. **!X.
from bluemeany :
Witty, your painting is mahvelous! I feel more cultured for having seen in. Also (total change of subject) remember the mantra: "Married Men Only Want New Pussy." (pun intended, tee hee!) So watch out for those bastids. Oh, and I had an idea about your ants. Instead of talking to yourSELF, you can give them little Ant Suicide Prevention therapy! Oh well, just a thought.
from poolagirl :
Liza Minnelli with a penis! OMG! You are just too damn funny, lady!
from crazy4muffin :
It took me two cups of coffee and two smokes to get through your entry and I loved every bit of it! "Is that Liza Minnelli with a penis"? That painting is insanely cool. Keep painting and writing; it is a good outlet for the manic phase. I have a case on a guy that decided putting 50 coats of paint on everything in the house he rented was a good idea, well at the time it seemed like a good idea.
from sixweasels :
I love it. Le Gato Le Scream. Abosolutely. Love. It.
from hissandtell :
Oh, gracious. That painting is stupendous. Love, R xxx
from rladyofpunk :
Thank you! I was rather fond of the portrait myself... but don't you be dissing yourself now- I've seen your work (what you've posted- so not a lot, but some) and I can say that your art is 100% primo. I'm pretty sure that's drug talk for badass. And badass is college-girl talk for good.
from for-you-only :
Yes...bi polar is great!
from hissandtell :
Ha! Funniest closing line I've read all week. Inviting attractive men around to see your big neglected hole is certainly a few steps up from that tired old "etchings" business you arty-types usually use. (And have I told you lately how pretty, intelligent, nice and funny you are? Or don't you want compliments from married women either?) Love, R xxx
from bluemeany :
Hey, cool! Your town has the same seasons as my hometown! Also, I do know what you mean about Married Men. I used to be notorious for getting involved with those sly dogs ... until I became a Married Woman who now has to worry about my own Married Man. Oy.
from onewetleg :
i just read your comment about me. the one in your profile. it's not a secret. i want to bitchslap all of them. :)
from ramble-on :
I just read a note you left for Muffin about domestic violence. Perhaps your neighbors are now my neighbors? They have two children and it makes me SICK the way these two fight. I have called the cops on them several times. IN my opinion, people like that should not breed. The life they are creating for their children is absolutely terrible. And then those children grow up and have more issues than they rightfully should have. My dad decided to take his physical abuse out on me. It is because of this, I will NEVER have children. His cycle will end with me.
from sixweasels :
I think you ARE a successful person, moreso than so many people who "have" everything on that successful human list.
from bluemeany :
When a man gives you chocolate, what he's really saying is, "I love you." You know, kind of like "As you wish."
from hissandtell :
So, how was the ill-gotten chocolate when you finally swallowed it? Or did you opt for delayed gratification? (No, that's not a euphemism. Well, it might be.) x
from hissandtell :
And if you're thinking of attaching electrodes to anything to zap, at least make it your spectacular nipples. x
from hissandtell :
Ha. It's mid-afternoon here, and I'm not at work...and the time spent with my battery-driven friends is glorious. You've just made me realise why I hated my job so much, kittykins! Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
Hey...your yummy food is the same as mine. Hehehe. And I don't like that crowds of people thing much either. It makes me wanna hurl.
from monkey-king :
Yes. Yes it is. I was at the show recorded for Bobcat's last comedy album.
from monkey-king :
I heard Kenney on NPR not that long ago, and he talked about being best friends with Bobcat.
from bluemeany :
You're right, Paris is pretty much empty already, isn't she? Oh well, I just kind of picked the brain-deadest person I could think of, and she was it. By the way, if you really want to be completely surrounded by men, they're all over here (except Johnny, who is at your place, of course!), and they're uncontrollably horny. Seriously, you might want to join the army; you'll be married in like .02 seconds, if you are so inclined.
from his-holiness :
Thank you so much. You were (as strange as this sort of shit always sounds) one of my distant inspirations. Thank you for all the kindness over the past year-and-a-half since I came to this rotten place. One day, although I know (although you would never say it) you laugh evey time I assert that I will possess one of your paintings; Damnit!!! I Will Have One Of Your Paintings!!!
from xat :
I'd say hold out for both kisses and laughter. Why sell yourself short? *grin* Go on, you fabulous woman, you~ **!X
from sixweasels :
Yes, I definitely prefer a day surrounded by men too! I think there are many people who hide behind humor and sarcasm so they don't get hurt, or people don't get too close. I'm one of them myself, sometimes.
from crazy4muffin :
I would imagine another legitimate gripe on the menopause and the unpredictability on periods is when do you wear a pad? I guess all the freakin time so you don't know when you're going to flow. Well that's a fine how do you do?
from xat :
Have you ever read "Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a SmartMouth Goddess"? It's by Susan Jane Gilman and it's a hoot. She suggests that rather than excusing or scattershotting our PMS-power, we should channel it into political/social change. Can you imagine the current administration under siege by crowds of PMS-ing women? Yowza. *grin* !X
from purplecigar :
You, quite possibly, have discovered a new disorder with "Menopausal Malfunction." At the least, you've coined a new term. At the VERY least, you've given me a reason to understand why my aunt is such a ginormous twit.
from blazingstar :
Oh no! I just realized that I'd accidentally taken you off my buddy list when I updated it and retyped your name, missing a "t"! All this time I've been wondering why it keeps saying "updated over 3 months ago" and takes me to an error page when I click on the link in my profile! Well, I have a lot of catching up to do!
from goingloopy :
What's up with the grocery checker attitude problems lately? Sheesh. And if you actually find a source for the CarCondom, let me know. Because my rear windshield is still leaking. I think I need black. Or something with glitter. ;)
from ariawoman :
Yes, you need to have a livejournal account and I'd need to add you to my list so that you can read private entries. Let me know if you create one...
from crazy4muffin :
Appears you might be the poor sap that bought my old car. Anytime it rained the radio didn't work. I had to open it up at 100 mph in order to dry the radio off. At the time I lived in a crappy town known for hail storms; because I was poor, I lived in a guesthouse with no garage. Because I was almost government cheese poor, I couldn't afford a car cover. I used to throw old bed comforters and blankets on top of it. Sadly, nothing color coordinated. There was no Martha Stewart living look going. It looked like a make shift shelter for the homeless. In re the anger? I tried the holistic approach for awhile. Finally told me doctor that if he didn't prescibe something to help me cope with the overwhelming idiocy of society the next time he saw me it would be behind bars. Hello Welbutrin. I love your writing! If you agree to come live with us we promise to clear out the other half of the garage and give you a decent place to park.
from hissandtell :
Ahem - condoms come in THREE sizes, darling - large, extra-large and Australian (i.e. fucking ginormous). And I don't believe Calista actually *has* nipples to accommodate the Tiffany's clamps. Or, if she does, they're painted on. And did you know there actually is/was/used-to-be a company called Car Condoms? I found them several months ago on the web, but they seem to be gone now. Anyway, get yourself an Oz-sized prophylactic instead (your choice of flavours) and that ought to do the trick on most vehicles (except perhaps double-decker buses, limousines and Lear jets). Love, R xxx
from kidzpinkcat :
Please tell me how--HOW--do you put items on a grocery conveyer belt wrong. Is there a rule? Oh my gosh! What if I have been doing wrong all these years and that's why some of the cashier people look at me all mean-like or get snotty with me sometimes. Man, I am such a grocery conveyer belt dope! How could I be soooo stupid! (PUH-leeze) How retarded was that cashier chick? What a hoochie.
from his-holiness :
Oh, but, I turned on the idiot box, so I could pop in my Jesus Christ Superstar DVD, and it was set to BBC America. My timing was such that I came in on The Kumars, just as Tom JOnes was walking in. Does a soul good.
from his-holiness :
I've been at it for more than seven hours, and all I have is one unfinished painting, and four pages roughed in blue, along with a few more pages worth of script... My brain is considering mutiny. As for the supplies, that's just part of the collection I brought with me... But god-damn if my Great-Grandfather's quill doesn't make me giddy. It smells like the pencils we used in grade-school... the ones I learned to draw with.
from bluemeany :
I would kiss those toes.
from dangerspouse :
Damn that Rite Aid photo guy! He stole MY nude negatives also!! Shit, if you can't trust minimum wage generic pharmacy workers with your Amature Porn, who CAN you trust? (Pssst - get a digital camera and e-mail it to me like all the OTHER lesbians, willya?) Thanks for the note :)
from poolagirl :
Thinking of you. Wishing you well.
from ariawoman :
I once did a focus group for an entire day. It was actually really neat. It was a mock trial for a pharmacutical company. I think they ended up paying like 100 or 150 for it too, which was awesome because at the time, I was unemployed as I had been laid off. One might truly be able to make some decent money off focus groups. I have one around here that calls me like every other day, but their groups aren't at times I can go to, grrr!
from hissandtell :
Ooooh, your watermelon is sublime, darling. It brings to mind (ever-so-slightly) Frida's painting - what's it called? Viva la Vida or something? xxx
from hissandtell :
Mr Spencer sounds like a complete doll compared with my piano teacher, Mrs Byrne. She used to chainsmoke and blow smoke into my face, whack my fingers with a long cane when I hit a wrong note and rouse on me when I played too fast or too loud (which was pretty much all the time). Over the whole nine years she taught me, she never, ever, ever gave me a cookie; she gave me plenty of bruises, though. It's amazing I can play a note, she was so scary. Love, R xxx
from warcrygirl :
Ooo, good questions! Are you getting a javascript error when you try to make a comment? Sometimes if your right click and open in a new window it works. Let me know and I'll see if I can tweak it a bit.
from his-holiness :
Thank you, m'dear. It worked out that she left early, and it ended on a positive note. I'm feeling much better. Have a very exciting project for the weekend. A fucking exhausting project, but I'm a really excited about it. The Girlfriend is just ridiculously supportive, and has helped me build up just enough faith in myself, that when a big hairy, audacious art project popped up, I didn't just laugh it off as beyond my power. I've got so little prep-time (in the ever-procrastination-ruled Klug-Reality), and so much trepidation. Buuut... if I pull it off, even if I don't land the publication, I'll land a spot of pride & faith.
from nascarwidow :
Thanks for the note!
from arc-angel666 :
Hello Ms Witty: I'm a fellow of the 12th Februarian myself and was wondered, your Horoscope, was it for all born on the Feb 12th? I was wondering because a bunch of us are about to helicopter over the Volcano on the big Island (Hawaii). If so maybe I'll meet a fiery woman around the edge of the Volcano or about to fall in it. I don't know but meeting the love of your life on or in a Volcano sounds kinda neat, but then again I like tight shoes and bumper to bumper traffic :-) So how have you been?
from xat :
Witty, you're wonderful. Fabulous. The yuppie grocery store doesn't know what it's missing. You can tell them I said so. **!X.
from gerg69 :
No, Madelaine Kahn was his sister, he couldn't marry his sister.
from xat :
Fabulous painting, Witty. Dame Edna, indeed. Thank you for the lovely compliment...though I'd tend to say warmish rather than hot. *giggle* *grin* **!X.
from dailypieces :
OMG your car and mine must be related! Hahahaha!
from hissandtell :
Wait ... are you suggesting that Dame Edna is, in fact, a man in drag? As she herself says about those who make such scurrilous accusations, "Let them talk to my gynecologist!" Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oops. My aging goddess eyes did it again: "The two giggling hymens from my art class." Indeed! Love, R xxx
from autumnleigh :
Love the painting, as usual. Have you sold any? I'd be thrilled to own a wittykitty original.
from poolagirl :
Why, thank you so much for that vote of confidence, kiddo! You are just too sweet.
from poolagirl :
This entry could win an award. It is THE best thing I have ever read on Diaryland!
from hissandtell :
Um, never really been into shrimping. Had an ex who loved it and became very disillusioned that I couldn't take it (or his considerable efforts) seriously. But here's a thought - put little red spot stickers on some of your toes! And then - voila - C gets to suck ONLY those toes with the red dots! (Oh, and the Girl Scouts can do what they like with the rest...) Love, R xxx
from purex :
I LOVED the entry about Guardcat and her new boyfriend! I wish I had found your diary a long time ago, as I've now moved to LiveJournal.. great entry though! :)
from xnavygrrl :
I know I never leave notes but I have to tell you that reading your journal is like a religious experience! I need my daily dose of witty! I am also bipolar, and I admire the way you manage it. Group therapy and art, I wish I could do that. However, I work for the government, and they watch us for stuff that might mean we're mentally ill, so I don't do any of that. I just write in my journal. Anyway, congrats for leaving that group. I agree with Poolagirl, it sounded like it was toxic.
from poolagirl :
Oh, the drama of it all! I knew someone who would be perfect for DQA. She one-upped everybody ALL the time. If you said you saw Richard Gere on Hollywood & Vine, she said she slept with him not once but twice. If you got bananas at the market for 35 cents a pound, she found them somewhere else for 30 cents. It went on and on and on. I really applaud you for leaving. It sounds like the group has become somewhat toxic for you.
from bluemeany :
Hello wonderful lady! I have come to join you as a fellow Poor Me Drama Queen! Together we shall invoke more sympathy from more people than we ever before imagined we could. Tee hee! Love, Meany
from zaziel :
Thank you, kind lady, for the compliment to my self of five years ago, when I smoked and had short hair. I don't see why, if a man can make a very lucrative career out of painting dead blue dogs, you can't do the same with twine-handled purple bags.
from poolagirl :
Your painting has a certain "bite" to it. I really like it!
from goingloopy :
Funny is the first step, Miss Witty. :) And I like the bitten bag....it's different. And it makes people wonder, which is never a bad thing.
from poolagirl :
Hiss is right about the naked snow angel thing. It is indeed a pentacle - and a very nice one, indeed. No wonder you are geting the coven questions! And you're so right about seeing somebody you know get all nude and stuff. It takes some adjustment. I have lots of friends who are actors, and when they do nude scenes, it can be somewhat jolting for the friends in the audience.
from hissandtell :
Hmmm, that's a hard call to make. (Whether I'd look at your pentacle or your spectacular bosoms first, I mean.) Hey, if you bought your pentacle from a garage sale, you probably should do a little charging ritual to make it your own - but I guess if you wear it while you're making naked snow angels, that ought to just about do it! Love, R xxx
from his-holiness :
*blush*
from xat :
I could get behind some 72 degree, rains only at night, weather. Yesirree, Bob. However, I do hope that the yoghurt and toilet paper incidents were resolved successfully. **!x.
from poolagirl :
The cable man cometh only once, but it lasted almost 90 minutes. Yes, it is warm in here indeed!
from bluemeany :
Thank you for your company in Pepperland! I always knew you were a Boob! (And I also knew that that Boob was a Somebody.)
from hissandtell :
I'm trying to envisage a situation where one might employ toilet paper and yoghurt together - simultaneously, if you will. I've come up with those spitballs that teenage boys like to throw on classrooms' ceilings. Or, a textured conceptual artwork. Anyway, I really want to see Condee sliding down a pole like Bridget Jones - and, even better, the Olson Twins getting a good dose of liposuction on the Plastic Surgery lifestyle programme. Hey, I'd actually PAY for that. Love, R xxx
from poolagirl :
Whoa! Your mom is a piece of work! My mom was somewhat like that, but not to that extent. Maybe you could varnish her and sell her as a piece of art.
from bluemeany :
Your obsession with drawing families? I had one with drawing horses and mermaids. Granted, I was 7-10 years old, so horses and mermaids were my entire WORLD, but I think I drew enough of them to fill a Bad Drawings Of Horses And Mermaids coffee table book. Sadly, my parents never recognized this marketing opportunity, and a few years later I started learning curse words, subsequently leaving the world of equine and aquatic art forever. Happy Belated Easter!
from hissandtell :
Oops - left out a closing bracket. Stick this - ) - wherever you think best! x
from hissandtell :
Your mention of the kids' art show reminded me of something I organised in my last job. We got a grant of several thousand dollars to employ different people to teach art to the kids (aged 4-13), and then we photographed all the works, made a catalogue and put on an exhibition. We had a wine-and-cheese in the local community hall and invited lots of out-of-town dignitaries. The kids explained their pieces and answered questions, posed for photographs with visitors and sold quite a few of their masterpieces (stuff like paintings and photographs [which we'd got a grant to frame], pottery, wirework, mosaics, beaded dream catchers, wood carvings, vases full of paper flowers and more. It was a very swish soiree and and fabulously empowering for them. Love, R xxx
from rladyofpunk :
I feel ya on the dental trauma thing... I went to the dentist 4 years ago and had a panic attack the likes of which ye hath never seen. I finally dragged myself back there last summer, but the silly woman acidentally held the novacaine-injection needle right in front of my face before using it. On my phobia scale of one to ten, needles are an 11. So I spontaneously fainted. When I woke up the dental hygenist was giving me straight oxygen and obviously shaken. Guess she had never seen a patient pass out before. To which I responded "Ha, welcome to MY world, lady!" Man, government funded healthcare sucks.
from true-diamond :
hey kitty glad u like ur smile hehe I hope things get 4 u. have a lovely weekend girl. And guess how has a hot new younger bf...???? ME!!! hehehe Hugs,True-Diamond
from goingloopy :
Why is it that when things go bad, it's never just one thing? Sigh. I'm sorry you had a yucky day...but hopefully the next time you go to your art class, those idiot giggle morons won't be there...and you'll have Mr. Fiiiiiiiine all to yourself ;)
from poolagirl :
From the photo, it looks like your pops was a real sweetie. Remember him with all your heart and be gentle with yourself. The photo you posted says it all - the two of you sitting there like imps. How fun.
from hissandtell :
Oh, sweetie. Look through your memories and have a good cry, and thank him again for helping make you who you are. Love, R xxx
from thecrankyone :
Glad to hear it wasn't the big C word. I live about 3 blocks from the local police station so I have a small idea of what you are talking about, though the fire trucks come from a different place, but I do get to see lots of cop cars in front of our house.
from rickscafe :
Kitty, Just paint the damn picture for A. would ya? :^)
from hissandtell :
So glad your polyp was a kindly one, dear, and not an evil one. I do hope you now will be inspired to do a series of paintings - maybe of coral reefs? Loads of love, R xxx
from poolagirl :
Glad the polyp thingie is okay. I was thinking of you!
from blazingstar :
Hi, I found your diary right before the diaryland tsunami. Yet another reason to be glad it's over. Just wanted to tell you I love your writing!
from hissandtell :
Ha - I just clicked on your "anger management" banner. I loved it! Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
Yikes. Hopefully it will turn out to be nothing serious. And Nazi Nurses suck. I've quit going to like three doctors for that reason. I'm glad that you felt empowered and were helping someone else along, though...that's awesome. :)
from poolagirl :
YOWZA! I can't even imagine having a polyp twisted off my cervix! YOWZA! I am keeping you in my thoughts. And....for the record...I free-catch (but not clean catch) urine every time I pee in the woods. It goes all over my hands too. EWWWWWWWW!
from themarassa :
Good lord, a funny story about the cold duck lips of doom. Fabulous entry! (double entendre NOT intended)
from hissandtell :
See? If only you'd had the mid-evil metal-torture device to hold things open, you could have had a nice clean catch. Sure, you would have rusted out the medical equipment, but it would have added that extra element of fun and risk. And darling, I don't actually pray either, as you know, but I do send you my very best thoughts each day, silly. Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
Your kitty is adorable. I want a shamrock pimp hat. And you are not invisible...at least not here in D-land. It just sucks that really good friends seem to be about as rare as good men. Only not quite so much. But it's still the same "crush" like feeling when you meet someone you really connect with...and I hope you do.
from dangerspouse :
As a matter of fact, I *was* talking about something else when I wrote "pumelling the pomodoro". Congrats, you were the only one witty - or slutty, probably - enough to pick up on it! Your prize: you get to rub The Girls in a sensual way now. BTW, that was some great list! And OH MY GOD! Your 50-ish bakery lady looks just like me (but she's got a bushier moustache I bet). I've gotta cut down on the tiramisu.....
from poolagirl :
Your entry shocked me and almost knocked me out of my chair. I had the same experience with my mom's best friend's husband. I too was the "apple of his eye." And to this day, my mother doesn't really believe me. Amazing how we all survive in this world.
from gerg69 :
I know exactly what you mean about the invisibility thing. I have days where I wonder," Hey, am I here or not?" I hope I don't make you feel that way. I rarely answer any comments or notes but only because of time limitations, not because of preference of the person leaving them. You're not invisible. Hugs for the kitty.
from poolagirl :
Happy birthday to the kitty! Looks like the curtains are still intact, however. Come on, kitty! You have WORK to do!
from hissandtell :
Hey, I clicked on your Prozac banner! If I didn't love you so much already, I guess I'd have to add you to my buddies' list on the strength of that alone. And please give Guardcat a saucy little birthday skritch for me. (Oh, give yourself one while you're at it, just because; you know.) Love, R xxx
from lynz-q94 :
Cute pics! Happy b-day Guardcat!
from ariawoman :
Aww happy 6th birfday to gard kat hehe. My Jewelie will be 6 this year. I made her birthday 7/13/99 cuz we didn't know the exact date, just the year and month. Meows all around for the birfday kat. :-)
from xat :
Oh dear, now I shall have to develop new questions to ponder in the night as I try to fall asleep. *grin* Thank you~ *!x.
from poolagirl :
You are always such a breath of fresh air. Your diary and a nice strong cup of morning coffee - the perfect combination to kick-start my brain.
from sixweasels :
Yes, here's to the opening. I hope it goes extremely well!
from hissandtell :
Well, as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark might say, "Here's to your BIG opening!" (And I think I speak for everyone when I say I particularly would be interested in seeing any drawings of huuuuge penises.) Knock 'em dead, darling. Love, R xxx
from xat :
I'm cool with the double kiss thingy (after all, I had a French last name when I was married, and my ex- is first generation) you can't enter or leave a room in France without smooching everyone. Everyone! Still, I get the woojies because I can never figure out which cheek the kisser is going for first. So you stand there and do the little head bob dance...oy. Sounds like you handled the kiss thing with aplomb and grace. Che brava! *grin* **!X.
from goingloopy :
Love the picture...and hate men who run around acting all stressed out and then expect you to hold their hand and fix everything. (Have I worked for these people? Who, me?)
from poolagirl :
You are an amazing artist! I can't draw shit - or Jack Shit - or anything even close. I think you should get up on the table and impersonate Mick Jagger next time. Get some of those big wax lips so you are ready.
from hissandtell :
Absolutely ADORE the drawing. Love, R xxx
from purplecigar :
Not that it helps much I suppose but my brother is the same way. I remember his b-day, he never remebers mine. I think it's just men. On the up side, you got $25...
from dangerspouse :
Jeez, my sisters have a MUCH better brother than you! Although they say he wears too many gold chains and heavy cologne. Hey - post pics of some of those nekked "art works", willya? Some of us need more, uh, culture in our lives. Yeah.
from purplecigar :
I would PAY to see Kid Rock host the Oscars. PAY. How hysterically bad would that be?
from poolagirl :
EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW! Squirrel fillets! What a gross story! It actually plopped down on the stove? GAAAAA! I had a squirrel take up residence in my glove compartment (old Ford wagon). He ate all of my Smokehouse Almonds. Rat bastard squirrel!
from bluemeany :
If I had graduated high school, I would tell you about my yearbook, but I didn't so I won't. Oh, and you did look pretty smug in that picture, but why don't we just say that's your way of sticking it to The Man?
from his-holiness :
Sainthood for a 300... Hadn't occurred to me... I'm going to add that into the letter I began yesterday, outlining my plan for Papal reform, and political overhaul of the Vatican. That can go in Section I, Paragraph a... "& Klugarsh didst speak unto the Vatican, & he didst say, 'Y'all bitches need to recognize, for I am Klugarsh, the Buster of Bitch Ass Heads, and you shall not question mine wisdom when I say that for the Midget Pope Bowling leagues thou shalt bestoweth Canonisement upon S/He whomso shall Roll the Greatest Game, & thou shalt furthermore bestoweth the title of Saint, in Honour upon Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski, for this I say, & you had better recognize, Bitches!!!'" Or some such.
from warcrygirl :
This one was always my fave, by an upperclassman who was the major stoner-dude: Tanja, You lip sucker! Well this gay fagot year is over! What a bitch it was. I'm not going to go into the It's been nice knowing you and having beg inst. with you BS So party enthisiastically and try to get over Def Leppard. METAL MADNESS MASACRES Love Mike Well, at least he spelled Def Leppard correctly...
from luvabeans :
i misplaced my yearbook at the post-graduation party, and thus, the only signatures in it are from the teachers who signed it during class the day before. one was from my history teacher. i had previously apologized to her for always falling asleep during class, becausee i thought she was great and the class was interesting, but i was SO TIRED. she signed my yearbook, absolving me of my drowsy sins. great lady. the other memorable signature was from my bio teacher, a wonderful, perceptive, melancholy man who loved outsiders, perhaps because he was a poet trapped in the job of an underappreciated high school bio teacher. he signed, "sleepy kelly - you're much more than you think you are. love, mr. v." i then took my yearbook to my best friend's house so she could sign it, and we found it 2 years later. ha.
from goingloopy :
I really should, oh, proofread or something sometimes...I didn't quite get where I was going with my whole "evolutionary brain" train of thought...it's not that I don't think it's ok to want a family, I just think that some people really don't and get sucked in by the fairytale. And I think you should go out with a few people...duds or no. If you're with them and they bore you, smile and mentally compose the blog entry wherein you shall mock them mercilessly. If nothing else, they shall provide amusement to your D-land buddies. ;)
from xat :
Ahh, zits. The great leveller. I still wake up from nightmares about the zit I grew on the tip of my nose for my father's second wedding. It was horrible. Lights would pulse in time to the throbbing pain that was the hideousness on the tip of my nose. However, I've had particularly good luck with a big blop of clay-based facial masque. ***In other news, I'd come do naked, bellydancing, snow angels--think of the press coverage you'd get.***Be fabulous, because y'are. **!X
from hissandtell :
Or try Windex. It worked in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", as I recall. (I woke up with the HUGEST nuptial zit on my chin the morning of the day I got married. By the afternoon ceremony, you could land a jumbo jet on it. I covered it with Max Factor Pancake and added extra eye makeup to distract the punters, wishing all the while I'd worn a veil. Or a paper bag. It went away the next day, amazingly.) Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
I'm sure this will sound weird as hell, but put some toothpaste on the zit. (The plain white kind works best.) It will make it pop....and of course, now I'm all hungry for some alfredo pizza to dip in cheese.
from goingloopy :
I love your silly drawing... :) And I love your answers, too. PS-Late comment, but you rock for doing a naked snow angel.
from poolagirl :
Nice survey answers! You are extremely funny - and also insightful. I really like your diary.
from hissandtell :
You know, that crocodile looks a bit like Jack Nicholson, doesn't he? Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Stimulus, damnit; it's singular. Or we could just delete the "a". Bugger.
from hissandtell :
You know, kittycakes, from my observations women seem to attract the most men when they've gone somewhere straight from the gym, or straight from work - and are unshowered, mussed up and even sweaty. It's all to do with that effortless base unkempt sexiness we all possess. So now, you just need to work on some irresistible chat-up lines, non? Vegetables in a raw state like zucchinis, cucumbers and carrots are always a good, um, stimuli for further conversation (perhaps not pickles, though). And phallic bakery items - or even donuts - afford certain opportunities for quasi-risque discussion. But for now, I too will spend the rest of the evening obsessing over what kind of party those two deli trays were destined for. I need closure, damnit. Love, R xxx
from true-diamond :
tour latest entry made my day!!!! naked snow angel how naughty of you. LOL!!!
from warcrygirl :
What, no pics of the lovely witty snow angel??? Face down? EEEK!
from dangerspouse :
Hey, he's no longer known as "Buckwheat". Since converting to Islam last year, he is to be addressed as "Kareem Of Wheat". Thank you. Thankyouverramuch. (Thanks for the note at my place, nekkid angel! Luv and Chianti right back atcha :)
from hissandtell :
Damn, I wish it snowed here. The most I get to do is dance naked in the rain. Oh, and sunbake nude every morning, of course. I'm so glad you made snow-angels, darlink! I bet you were just like the naturist painter/artists' model Topaz in "I Capture the Castle" - only much sexier, of course. She was always stripping off to go communing with the elements and saying very dramatically, "It gives me release!", but I don't actually remember her having stalactite-nipples as such. (Oh, and "Secretary" has been doing the rounds on TV here recently, and J has watched it, oh, seven times. Just thought you should know that.) Love, R xxx
from idiot-milk :
See, I could handle the Austin Powers quotations. I could even handle either a love of Dion or a love of Xena by themselves. The combination of the two, however, proved too much for me. I am of the opinion that for a person to feel so strongly about two such incredibly crappy things, they must clearly be unbalanced and a crap human being themselves.
from bluemeany :
If I were you, I would've stomped on the Mrs. von Rude's foot, then thrown her precious blowdryer into the sink and turned on the water full blast. What a bitch! By the way, yours was the first profile I have looked at and seen so many of my interests, so I've decided you rule. Oh, and how do you make those buddy lists on the side of your diary?
from hissandtell :
Hey, you know what I do in similar von Rude family situations? I say to the obnoxious boy, "You really are a horrible little girl, aren't you?" (or boy, if it's a girl), followed by my snakiest glare and, "Why don't you ask you mother to teach you some manners? If she knows any, that is." This almost always results in the irate mother swooping up the crying child and leaving. Sure, I might get called a fat bitch, but so what? Instant revenge (and/or even "a plate best eaten cold" revenge, for that matter) makes me feel so much better. Love, R xxx
from wench77 :
Dang! you've got it spot on! That's what I feel like! I have friends who have marriages that didn't work or kids with an exwife or kids who have left home etc and they are always like "look at me"... and I'm like yeah, someone asked you to marry them once. You have kids, you will always be a parent etc. I dunno. In my watercolor class are young starting out artists who want a career (or might marry or whatever) and retirees. I am the only one 41 taking an art class in the middle of the afternoon. And the retirees HAVE kids and grandkids and spouses or exspouses etc. Sigh. cheers and thanks for the comment.
from warcrygirl :
OMG, what a bitch! If The Captain is out of my sight for 20 seconds I got into full throttle Panic Mode. And to not apologize for her son's tantrums? Rude. Clearly she cannot control her children in public and had no business bringing them out by herself. If I were you I'd have left the girl in the locker, I mean, it's not like she was in danger of drowning or anything...
from thecrankyone :
I'm definately in favor of him playing in band. I played Clarinet from 5th grade thru 9th grade when I dropped it for science and study hall. There is a lot to be learned from music, teamwork and working with others is definately in the top ten. It can also do wonders to improve other skills. I am one that believes it is as important as phy ed, general ed classes, or art. They are all important and have value. :)
from xat :
Well sweetie, it's difficult to risk being hurt, we all know that. However, living behind a shell hurts too. Each one of us has to decide where we want to take our risks. Be brave, little buckaroo, you never know where magick lies. And friends are magick, y'know. *grin* **X.
from goingloopy :
I know what you mean about the wall...and I hope that you find some people who can break it...people outside of the blog-o-sphere, I mean. I do think you let yourself be vulnerable here, and your fellow bloggers are your friends. :) PS-I think you're probably right about the dream. That was some fucked up shit.
from gerg69 :
*Smooch*!! Happy Valentines day ....yesterday. And while I'm at it, why don't I just look like a big tool and forget your birthday too. I'm sorry Kitty Kat. Happy birthday! (late)
from queentrixie :
Happy Valentine's Day... since I am still less verbal they are more visual this year. But, I figured that out of everyone... you would understand. http://home.earthlink.net/~littlezen/valentineswitty.jpg
from hissandtell :
Smooch, doll. Love, R xxx
from discodave :
Apologies for not wishing you a happy birthday ON your birthday, but happy birthday nevertheless. Mine is actually November 28th '75, but I thought I'd try that meme out now anyhow. Dxx
from warcrygirl :
Happy Belated Birthday, Witty! Sorry about the Massage Nazi; hopefully you'll find a good one soon.
from queentrixie :
Happy happy birthday! Glad you are here!
from arc-angel666 :
Happy Birthday from another February 12th-er, there seem to be a few of us here at Dland.
from dustinthwind :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It's my B-Day, too. Aquarious' Unite!!
from supermom3604 :
Happy Birthday! People born today are cool.
from poolagirl :
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! I hope you have a lovely day - and I want to thank you for making me a fave. What a lovely present!
from boxx9000 :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (Aquarians rule!)
from thecrankyone :
Happy Birthday!! Have a wonderful one!! The problem with Warren is when you are not quite 12, everyone over 25 is old, by the time they are my mom's age (72) as far as he is concerned they probably witnessed the big bang up close and in person. Of course when I was his age, I was convinced my parents who grew up in the 30's and 40's were raised like the kids on Little House on the Prairie and just as ancient. LOL!! The 70's can't be part of history class, I still remember them!!
from xat :
A quippy, wittykitty has a birthday tomorrow / Huzzah! Hooray! May she have a good wallow / with luscious men and jokes that follow / their own crooked path. **Argh. Bad doggerel. No biscuit.** Hope you have a lovely b-day. *!X.
from goingloopy :
Happy early birthday...one of my other buddies has a b-day tomorrow too (supermom3604). Massage-good. Flirting w/ 30 year old...good. Naked young boy ass? Better. :)
from madamepierce :
hey! happy birthday - tomorrow!
from luvabeans :
so you know, i wished sf "hello" from you. i got a response from a drum-circle in golden gate park. at least, i think that's what they meant.
from dangerspouse :
Hey, thanks for the birthday greetings kiddo! But...whaddaya mean peeing on my manifold is "odd"? Oh, like YOU'VE never done it. Sure. Hey - how 'bout posting some pics of that nude skiing you like so much? I mean, as a birthday present?
from hissandtell :
Well, humph. You just got an email from ME, missy. Love, R xxx
from lynz-q94 :
I hate those cell phones too. I feel so retarded when I answer them and realize they weren't talking to me at all! Those walkie-talkie cell phones bug me too, I really don't need to hear the person's entire (LOUD) conversation. Anyhoo, have a good weekend!
from poolagirl :
I really like your diary, and your images of your father's wife had me snorting coffee all over the computer! You mentioned your expiring drivers license. I assume you are one of the Aquarius gang. I might have guessed. Me too. February 12th.
from rickscafe :
Kitty: You are coridally invited to complete the Music survery, post it and pass it on to 3 others. We eagerly await your answers. :^)
from warcrygirl :
Hey it could have been worse; he could have had the ligntning bolt tattooed on his schlong...
from his-holiness :
I was very nice to her this evening, & I intend to continue this through this weekend. Hope you're well, oh witty one.
from hissandtell :
Wait - now why on earth would a man paint a lightning bolt on his penis, unless he's a member (heh) of a KISS tribute band or something? I mean, unless it's to imply that it goes faster than normal penises - in which case I would have some serious concerns about a number of issues (heh), not the least of which is premature ejaculation. Love, R xxx
from supermom3604 :
Hi, I found you through goingloopy. Cars were only put on this earth to drive us completely bonkers. I'm sorry for your jerk mechanic troubles. I also noticed that we have the same birthday. Happy early Birthday!
from goingloopy :
Fucking asshole mechanics. Car trouble sucks on its own, and then you have some dick munch trying to screw you. Grrr. I'm sorry.
from awittykitty :
you are going to get me is sooo much trouble Hiss. But UPS men do deliver :-)
from hissandtell :
So let me see if I read this right, darling - you were so pleased to get a box of functioning naughty toys that you actually snogged the UPS man? And then attached a pair of Venus flytraps to your nipples? (And I suspect Georgia O'Keeffe might have had a few words to say about all that cross-pollinating orchid imagery - goodness! I can't wait to see your next few paintings!) Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
If you are...then I am. My "did I turn it off" thing is the coffee pot, and "did I lock my car." And I don't even want to think about the 1.6 trillion pieces of paper in my apartment.
from arc-angel666 :
Ooophs! More proof to exactly how smart I am lol. I forgot this [email protected] :-)
from arc-angel666 :
Good Evening Again: I think I know that Sax's player :-). Are you aware there are more people with Genuis IQ born in our month are any other? Unfortunately all an Intelligence Quotient is, is your ability to adapt to a new learning situation and not a guaranttee for success. I am a fine example. I was educated in the Parochial School system of the Catholic Church. I skipped 5th grade. By the end of 6th grade I a had taken Alegbra I, Plane Geometry, Alegbra II. 7th grade I found myself passing Analytic Geometry and Trig. simultaneously.. I skipped 8th grade. In the middle of the 9th grade I had completed the requirements for differential and intergral Calculus (I know my curves), I spoke Latin, French, German and a little Italian. I graduated from High School at 16. I had complete all my Science and Math requirements and a two year course of study in a year and a half at Colorado University (Boulder) where upon I left and joined the Army (there's an indication of a great mind). I was commissioned a 2d Lieutenant at 18, a Captain by 21. I went to War did what soldiers do (an experience I shant ever forget) got wounded stayed in the hospital for a year finished my Hitch and went back to school. Graduated 2d in my class with a Bacholars of Science degree in Biology, minor in Chemistry. I passed the M-cats in the top 3% was accepted to Medical School at CU. During all this one must remember I couldn't spell. I was taught to spell phonetically, I grew up in the South (New Orleans) if you spell phonetically tried spelling the word peculiar as heard by a child in Louisiana... As they say in the South, Sound it out....pa-cu-ya, viola! Peculiar. I took a course in Surgical Anatomy that summer before Med School (that course impacted my life with women forever, in a good way I might add). I began feeling poorly. A week before the start of Med School I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia for the second time. Blah Blah Blah. Then I became an Actor/Writer. Now just how smart I'm I? LOL. I had a Professor tell me upon hearing of my IQ and potential that there is a fine line between Genuis and Insanity, yeah? Tell me something I don't know. Alrighty then! Did I mention anywhere in this rambling missive that I talk continually? :-) I have to tell you I do enjoy your diary a great deal, I read it in the morning and truthfully it sets the mood of the day (always good). I would like to know more of the Witty-Kitty if that's okay with you. Here's an early Happy Birthday for ya. If you are interested here is my email address email me and I'll send you a photo of me so you might add a face to the ramblings of Arc-Angel. Good Night Ms. Witty Respectfully Michael
from arc-angel666 :
Hello Ms Witty: My Birthday is on the 12th of February also Yay! I'll rub your feet for your birthday
from loob :
hehe that sounds weird, but it's just about kittens! :)
from loob :
I think you'll like this! http://screenclean.j1media.com/lick.html
from goingloopy :
[Nods head compassionately, thinks Witty makes sense. Says yes.] And go girl with your little slutty workout alter ego...because there are sometimes most tasty male specimens at the Y. ;) Much better than referrals from the shrink, no? What's funny is my old therapist WANTED to do that, but she was being all "no, ethics"...then WHY TELL ME ABOUT IT? Probably because they want to keep us neurotic...job security. Hehehe.
from goingloopy :
And if your life is scripted...the rest of the song fits too..."We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files...it's a little secret..." *snicker* I suck at the treadmill thingy too. But like I said, treadmills scare me....
from hissandtell :
And, speaking of Mrs Robinson ... Dustin Hoffman was in "The Graduate" - AND he was in "Midnight Cowboy" with John Voight! How spooky is that? Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
Dear god, the car driving dream is almost as bad as my obstacle-course-of-death recurring dream...which happens when I feel like I'm under assloads of stress. I agree with your interpretations of your dreams, and I'm guessing that "A" does believe you, and think that your problems can be addressed, or you wouldn't still be his patient. Oh, and regarding the naked snow angel thing...that is exactly my vision of what would happen if I tried that. Except the hot pickup guy.
from dangerspouse :
Wow, I wish I had dreams of floating above toilet bowls! It sure beats my "raped by a burning octopus" horror. BTW, thanks for the nice note you left about that! And no, the nuns at Our Lady of the Perpetual Fist somehow missed that one. They were probably too busy fitting themselves with strap-ons to lecture us on basic hygene. Hang in there, Hippy Chick! And be proud of those Bedroom Eyes - they're a lot better than the Outhouse Eyes my family's been cursed with (we always look flushed).
from hissandtell :
Absolutely fascinating dreams, kittikins - I think your interpretation of them is spot-on, too. The carefree children who are able to be absorbed into walls and come and go freely are you, and you've encapsulated your ability to rise above. The "Mother's Roses" bit is especially intriguing: one of the things about dreams I'm particularly interested in is the actual words spoken, and their homophonic values. Unfotunately, all I can come up with at the moment is "mother cirrhosis", which I suspect doesn't really help at all. Finally, adults who say things like that to children should be horse-whipped. Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Good Morning from Sunny And Warm California: Once again I did so enjoy your chilly but witty missive this morning. My buddy Dangerspouse and new Wifey who's home apparently has turned into an ice cave is also experiencing the New Ice Age in New Jersey. Your description of your lovely Eyetalian Landlords paints an inviting picture of old age. I couldn't help up perk up a bit at the mention of your proclivity for brown eyes, the habit of sleeping in the nude/nude exercise and that you are an attractive Woman. Well, I have brown eyes, well, one at least, the other is emerald Green in color. Its a bit foggy here this morning but should clear by noon, I shall think of you while laying on my beach basking in the Sun with 74 degree temps. Seriously I hope you thaw out soon :-)
from warcrygirl :
OMG, thank god you've got some heat! At our old house whenever the winds blew hard the shades moved but we never had snow in our house. If it gets cold again bypass the cheapskate and call your cousin!!!
from poolagirl :
Ahhhhhhh......the old broken fan in the furnace excuse! I had a landlord once who told me the heater in my wee apartment was set as high as it could go. For two winters, I froze my keister off. Then, one day whilst looking for a lost button, I discovered a HIGH/LOW switch underneath the flame thing. I switched it to HIGH, and whoosh nearly knocked me off that frozen keister. Within minutes, I was warm as toast - and my landlord's utility bill reflected my "discovery." Served him right!
from arc-angel666 :
Good Morning Ms Witty: Ahh, an Artist, a Writer, Drama Queen, Way-Bipolar and Former Hippy! EUREKA I'VE HIT THE MOTHER LOAD! After reading your last entry where does one sign up for your Fan Club? Hi my Name is Michael and I have found your Diary delightful, interesting and indeed Witty, if its okay with you I shall stop my regularly.
from awittykitty :
I should mention the photo I smashed of Married Guy was taken BY his wife. She was aware of our friendship.
from boxx9000 :
My daughter has also told me she feels invisible. It doesn't matter how much attention I give her, she will always feel invisible. I used to find photos of my EX husband with other women and he always said they were just friends. I was part of my Ex's family for 25 years and when we divorced thay cut me out completely.
from goingloopy :
GO WITTY for breaking the asshole's picture!! That's so liberating. And PS-I bet you burned more than that on the treadmill in 30 minutes..because the calorie counters on those things are completely inaccurate. This website lets you enter your weight & activity level and stuff when it calculates. http://www.healthonecancer.net/HC_ActRegimen.asp :)
from hissandtell :
Rice Krispies, hmmm? Now there's a thought for a Women's Institute nude calendar - nourishing English breakfast dishes! Just think, one could have kippers, porridge, toast and marmalade, weetbix with strawberries, crumpets and jam, bacon and eggs ... yes, yes, I see it now! Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
The treadmills scare me. I mean, I get on them sometimes, but under no circumstances do I EVER let go of the handles. And that talking to the computer thing? I do that a lot. My co-workers may think I'm a freak, but who do they call when they have computer problems? Me. I think it's like that whole "talking to plants to make them grow" thing. ;)
from poolagirl :
Okay - lesson learned this morning (of many, I am sure). NEVER read an entry by awittykitty whilst ingesting Rice Krispies or drinking coffee - or ANY food or beverage. I laughed so hard I almost expired on the spot! God knows when someone would have found me. It would have made all the papers. Perhaps a nasty autopsy too. I know better now. No food or drink until AFTER I read your entry.
from hissandtell :
Okay, I am in awe of your full bohemian artist regalia. At the moment I'm toying with morphing into Wendy Whiteley ( http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/05/18/1084783518633.html?oneclick=true ) who is the widow of Oz painter Brett Whiteley ( http://www.cultureandrecreation.gov.au/articles/brettwhiteley/ ) - I watched a documentary about her the other night and am now ready to perm my hair and wear little pirate scarves wrapped around it all times, and baggy jeans stuffed into shaggy Yak boots. She is MAGNIFICENT and could easily become my new role model. (After crazy adorable you, of course.) And Australia Day! How exciting. In true Oz tradition, you must promise to drink lots of Fosters, have wild rampant bonks with hundreds of strangers and patriotically wave the wattle about until you're dizzy - and then chunder everywhere. (Hey, you could aim it at a big canvas and turn it from a pure Dadaistic performance into Abstract Expressionism: just a thought.) Smoochy antipodean kisses, R xxx
from warcrygirl :
*gasp!* Naughty Witty! ;) Was your bath stall made of one way mirrors? *tee hee*
from poolagirl :
I found you via hissandtell, and I loved your diary so much I made you a fave! Hooray for faves! I think you are a sensational writer.
from abitofmer :
What's the deal with the dates on your entries? Just curious.
from loob :
ahahaa! Your Yoko Ono poster is fantastic!! :)
from warcrygirl :
"Yoko! Ono!" Bwahahahahahahaha!! Funniest damn thing I've heard in a long time!
from boxx9000 :
#1. My birthday is two days after Valentines. I always get a heart shaped cake, too.
from boxx9000 :
#77 Apple Blossom? I live in Sebastopol.
from warcrygirl :
My latest isn't is NOT an attack on anyone in particular. You are one of the few Liberals who comment regularly so I just wanted you to know that in advance. :)
from goingloopy :
I'm with you...the word "spigot" is much more fun than "valve". And good luck with the Australian Art-Class Hottie (AACH, for short...and that's a good name for him, eh? As in "AACH, why don't you check me out instead of my painting?" Hehehe.)
from hissandtell :
So, Ms O'McDougall-LeGerg (if that is indeed your real name), didn't Jan Brady teach you anything? ANY attention is good attention. (Just maybe not from a love-struck lesbian intent on recreating the plotline from "Single White Female" ... not that there's anything wrong with that.) Love, R xxx
from gerg69 :
Aw kitty..! You know I love ya more than my luggage. Smooch! And, Ahem..... I think a life size macrame Ed would scare the shit out of the cat. Though THAT in itself may be worth it, I'll never have that many plants.
from loob :
I loved your diary today, all about nude calisthenics and Barnes and Noble and the guy from the bizarro town of 1950's Nice Men! heheh :))) Made me smile a lot.
from hissandtell :
Hi doll! If you go to "Edit your notes settings" on the left of the page under "Other stuff", then to "click here to delete individual notes from your notes page", you should be able to smite whatever notes you choose. More later, baby... Love, R xxx
from pandionna :
Yikes! What a fortune. 2005 will be better. Enjoy time for you. We women don't get enough of that. Hugs!
from warcrygirl :
Doomed to be happy in wedlock, eh? A marriage does not make one happy in and of itself; it's hard work. Here's to Doom in 2005!! :)
from warcrygirl :
I get like that too sometimes; when it's just easier to lie in bed and fantasize about the life I wish I had instead of getting up and facing the life I DO have. I usually try to drag myself up, get in the shower and get dressed even if that's the only productive thing I end up doing. Hope you feel better soon, hon!
from hamiltonian :
I solved the problem for returns! How? I didnt receive ANYTHING! I could careless...
from loob :
Definitely write a letter of complaint to the head office of that art shop, because they might be decent enough to give you store credit as an apology. I recently had some extremely bad service at a hotel during a vacation, and I wrote them a letter (not expecting anything but hoping for an apology), and they actually refunded me some money without being asked.
from gerg69 :
A giant snowman? Yes, please do send me one dear. I'd like to see the looks on the apartment mangers faces when they hand me a soggy wet package. I'll tell them there's a puppy inside.
from autumnleigh :
Hey! Where's the rest of the drawing?! After that vivid description of your well-endowed model, I was hoping for a full frontal drawing. (Geez, this pathetic single girl needs to get herself some porn. *sigh*)
from warcrygirl :
"Will U. Callme"...classic! ZENgarden, eh? My kids have been asking for the most god-awful thing for Christmas now: Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia! Fucking t.v. commercials...
from rickscafe :
Those little sand-zen gardens make excellenct littter boxes. Guard Kitty will love it.
from true-diamond :
Thanks Kitty for your very cool diary entry 2day...if u ever do get that picture of ue caller id u know the "willu callme" thing um can I see it 2 cuz well that'd be awesome. Signed: True-Diamond
from ariawoman :
hehehe, my "young man" is 5 years older than me. :-) he's awesome though, hopefully, he'll stick around for a long time :-)
from hissandtell :
Glad your shaman worked out. And can I count on you next time I have a shitload of potatoes to peel and mash for hungry stockmen, wittycakes? (Whenever I used to visit J's parents on their sheep property, my job was to peel a hessian bloody sackful of potatoes for the entire bloody shearing team every bloody night - J's mother didn't like doing it, you see.) Oh, and I need to tell you that my husband has started reading your diary because he thinks you're fucking hilarious. Love, R xxx
from warcrygirl :
Did you try typing 'WIN' at the prompt? That's how I get from DOS back to Windows.
from goingloopy :
...I like playing the game MUCH more than actually doing things like (cough) organizing my collection of random shit. I prefer to view this habit as a way of enhancing my memory skills rather than a symptom of my complete neurosis. ;)
from caresses :
Sometimes you just stumble upon pearls and jewels in this huge collection of diaries. Your diary is a jewel! You are a fabulous writer!
from ruachadonai :
I understand the pain you are in. But I think you are better off without him, even though the pain feels like it may kill you now. ::hugs::
from autumnleigh :
Yes, James Spader. I'm past my blond phase, but he does something for me, too. I think it's that whole "I look like a good boy, good enough to bring home to Mom, but really, I'm very naughty and I like to do naughty things." That's so sexy.
from rickscafe :
You sound perfectly normal to me. I have exactly those same fears, act the same way at work and constantly talk to myself. I've been labled eccentric. Go figure.
from thecrankyone :
I thought about putting a note on it, to that effect or something about my having bad gum infections or somesuch but then I realized somebody will see me eating from that, and who needs that reputation... LOL.. Thanks for the funny comments!!
from gerg69 :
THANK YOU KITTY! Hmm December 23 you say. Gee I didn't know that, I'm surprised you remembered that as well. You're an awesome woman. Sorry I've not been in touch too much recently, but not having internet at home and only updating at work kind of makes it hard, but you were one of my first that I logged onto and you'll always be on that list. kisses and hugs!
from ruachadonai :
Love it, love it, love it. You are hilarious!
from hissandtell :
I've played "Pin the Penis on the Donkey" before at a hens' night. (Not with a real donkey, silly. Or a real penis, for that matter.) And when I've been drunk and disorientated in the past, I've often had trouble remembering where the penis went, too... (Oh, and I have to tell you: sometimes I sit at the piano and play "Corner of the Sky" fortissimo and assai allegro. Presto, even. Not to mention brioso.) Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Unfuckingbelievable. The $1.00 makeup story, I mean. I think you should have taken the product and made HER re-enact Deep Throat with it. What a nasty little girl. I hope Santa gives her exactly what she deserves. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Too, too cute. (The kitties, I mean.) Well, fine, you're too cute too. But you knew that, right? Love, R xxx
from boxx9000 :
I have a black feral cat. Her name is Noodles. She was born at the local dumps. I adopted her thru Forgotten Felines. I love her very much but she is quite the scaredy cat.
from boxx9000 :
I'm 100% Aquarius (born 2-16) I have good childhood memories of Christmas. The last 5 years totally suck, tho. I too am an artist. Teaching kindergarten right now. Pays the bills. I'm giving my 2 grown kids art supplies for Christmas. Isn't that what EVERYone wants?
from boxx9000 :
Your mom sounds like quite a character!
from goingloopy :
That sucks that they won't let you bring your kitty. Gosh, you'd think they were afraid she would like, go psycho, wig out, and destroy everything in a 20 foot radius, or something. As for your (ahem) "little" lesbian admirer, you have set boundaries. You just have to continue to enforce them. Or really gross her out somehow so she will leave you alone....
from hissandtell :
Gosh, it never rains but it pours with you, you saucy temptress! Anyway, I've read your description of me on your favourites list, so I know you're not about to stray. Seriously though, folks, I hope you can sort things out companionably and warmly-professionally with your paramouress wanna-be. And re the Virgin in the Apple, you might be interested in this: http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/p/pentacle.html - just so you don't go wasting time fixating unecessarily on kumquats or other citrus fruits, you understand... Love, R xxx
from boxx9000 :
I added you
from sanetwin :
THANK YOU for pointing out that it is men propogating these fights!!! How come the media hasn't drawn attention to it? Oh and I giggled when I read "betty called". That's my name. I think I'm the only person under 50 w/it.
from autumnleigh :
You were on the verge and you answered the phone?! Tsk.
from goingloopy :
{{{HUG}}} I know how you feel, sister. And getting interrupted by the phone at an inopportune moment REALLY sucks. And the rain really sucks, too. I don't even live near Canada, and it's been raining here for a week. I need sunshine. I feel like I'm mildewing. Finally....and then I'll quit blethering on your notes page...the whole swimming/hot tub thing does really wear your ass out. But it's a good, sleepy nice feeling.
from hissandtell :
Oh, your story made me flashback to when I was at university studying Journalism and writing film reviews for the uni newspaper. And because I got in free for writing the reviews, I used to go to films ALL the time - often instead of going to lectures or tutorials. And I adored the once-a-year memorabilia and poster sales the uni cinema used to have; I spent all my non-existent funds on them and have a stack of posters somewhere. (My favourites posters are "Animal House", "Don't Look Now" and "Fedora", I think.) And sometimes I'd get my reviews printed in local papers and even get paid for them, which meant I could afford pizza and red wine SERVED IN GLASSES after a film. (And Bridget's attraction to Stodgy Lawyer Guy? Well, it's simple. We Anglo types just love restraint in a man, darling. We just know that under that stodgy restrained aloof boring stiff-upper-lip buttoned-down exterior he's all whips and chains and handcuffs and boarding-school buggery. That's why.) Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Yep, I would have picked you as a chicken-fat-roller, too.
from goingloopy :
I'm so glad you got your car fixed...and that it wasn't some $600 problem! I'm with you. If I'm without my ride, I start feeling all claustrophobic and freaked out and will generally do anything (write hot checks, beg, steal, borrow) to get the auto back.
from his-holiness :
Having now figured out who Diane Arbus is (yes, I know, no respect for the history of photography... I'm new to it, I'm sorry), I want to thank you again for the comment. I'm going to blush.
from loob :
It�s very possible the waitress Gwen has no idea there are pictures of her on the internet. After all, she obviously has no idea what a sleazy scumbag her husband is, sending the photos to old ladies behind her back. I just feel sympathy for Gwen, because I can think �How would I feel if that happened to me?�
from gerg69 :
Hey Kitty! Hows it hanging?
from goingloopy :
Usually if the battery goes, the alternator is next. Until I finally made a committment to being poor (I mean, bought a new car), I had a piece of shit car. I know lots of things about cars and how many parts they have which will make them not work....sigh. I hope it will just magically work again. It did once, right? :)
from hissandtell :
Now, darling kitty, I'm not suggesting I'm in your league for obsessive-compulsive behaviours, but I can certainly relate to the the 2am vacuuming and not ever wanting to touch new people in case they have germs (in the midst of my "breakdown", especially) and the need to sit on clean toilets when I pee every 26 minutes! (It's not that I have a small bladder; it's that I drink four litres of water a day. I have this idea I just can't shake off that I'll simply shrivel up and die if I drink any less.) When I'm travelling - anywhere at all - I'm always armed with my little antiseptic washcloths to attack public restrooms. And don't try to speak to me in one of those or I will stare you down and make you wish you hadn't tried it! So just embrace your anxieties and enjoy your germ phobias, I say. Love, R xxx
from petrichor :
What would bug me if I sold a piece of artwork is, if by a stranger, where would he or she put it? And when people come to see it in their house, would they notice it or would it blend in with the room? Did they buy it as a conversational piece or as art or as decoration?
from goingloopy :
Love your painting...I'm just jealous that I didn't get to buy it. :)
from autumnleigh :
Congratulations!
from thecrankyone :
Congratulations on the job and the painting. Sounds like things are starting to look up for you, you do deserve it you know!!
from smartepants :
so what's your title at this job? It sounds pretty fucking sweet if you ask me!
from goingloopy :
Your job sounds way cool...and it's always nice to have people vying for your attention. It probably is weird that you're working at a place where you were a client for a while, but think of it this way: (a) you're familiar with everything there (b) you have real empathy for the clients and (c) you've come a long way, baby. :)
from goingloopy :
I hate those super-real naptime dreams. Ugh. Not only do they fuck with your head, they make you feel like you haven't slept, either.
from goingloopy :
Sounds like your new job will be both interesting and educational. And you should definitely witty-ize your cubicle. :) Thanks for your nice comments yesterday. I like your philosophy, even though it is a touch morbid. Then again, life is a touch morbid...
from hissandtell :
God, you crack me up. Rust spots on her tits? Eeeewwwww. Whirlpool workout? Yum. Love your work, baby. R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh, darling kittycakes. You are so wonderful and I'm so excited for you about your new job and your new potential executive-husband and your PAPERCLIPS! And POST-ITS! (Forgive me; I become uncontrollably aroused by stationery.) Now get out there and break some hearts ... Love, R xxx
from queentrixie :
I love the witch! It would make a fabulous illustration for a children's book.
from hissandtell :
You really should get a job writing the (authentic and unrehearsed) testimonials for the Penultimate Chopper, dear ... but is it just me, or is there something hellishly alluring about a man with a big, sharp, well-honed, ah, chef's hat? Who knows how to use it and isn't afraid to? (Wait - Jenilee - she was the homely one, right? Oh, no, that was the one with dark hair that no-one wanted to sleep with?) Oh, whatever. Just be thankful it was Suzanne being stabbed by knitting needles and not Jenilee - oh, the horror of burst collagen lips! The humanity! Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
6:66 p.m. evil things are afoot. Bwaahahaha!! :-)
from warcrygirl :
Hey Witty, you do realize that your post was posted at 6:66 PM, don't you? Spooky.
from discodave :
I hope it was a good epiphany? Hell, write a book - it doesn't have to be all about the reality of your life after all - not if you don't want it to be, or think it could be. Dxx
from xat :
Ah yais, advertising makes it happen. *sigh* *laugh* Oy.
from goingloopy :
"...so stay the fuck home, NyQuil breath!" I am SO stealing that for use in my personal life. Good god, our office sounds like a TB ward most of the time. And the whirlpool at the Y is like me trying to get up...."five more minutes..."
from hiddenchance :
i just want to say that you're so damn funny, and you definately put the 'fun' back into 'dysfunctional'!
from hissandtell :
Absolutely fabulous witch, darling. And once you've prised off your limpets, do go visit xat's diary (http://xat.diaryland.com/041025_58.html) to read about her body-casting experiences with alginate and plaster - you'll like it, I think! Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
Thanks for adding me to your favorites. :)
from goingloopy :
Yep, I have secret kitty nicknames. And I have three cats, so it gets a little confusing sometimes. Basically, one comes no matter what, one usually comes, and the other one waits until you are POSITIVE it's HER idea....and the secret snacky words are fun too. Mine is "kitty MUNCHIE" in the most obnoxious voice ever. Kitties are fun. The party sounds like it will be fun, too. :)
from warcrygirl :
Our cat is like that too. His name is Gizmo but lately all he's been answering to is his nickname 'snookums'. Now the kids call him that and not Gizmo. For a while we were calling him "kikis", or sometimes just 'snooks'. As long as he gets his 'din-dins' he's a happy cat.
from hissandtell :
When I say I want you to include pictures, I mean in your diary. Not, like, in your masturbatory fantasies, or anything. Well, that's perfectly fine, of course, if you want to go that way; it's just not my place to request it. Smooch.
from hissandtell :
Your BOO-tacular art class sounds, well, boo-tacular! Please make sure you include LOTS of pictures of your drawings. That's LOTS, you hear? Love, R xxx
from his-holiness :
Thank you, dearie. Yeah, the Ease came through. And now it has become my mission to find him a hott chickie. I grin.
from goingloopy :
Congrats! Your loyal D-land fans know you will kick some ass at your new job. :) Yay for you!!
from warcrygirl :
YAY for you! And no you will NOT fuck it up. Deep cleansing breaths...
from saamba :
Fruck! hehe. I love that word. Good luck with the job - you'll be fine! If you get nervous, just picture your boss naked and...oh, wait. That was your LAST job. Well, you'll be fine anyway. ;)
from ariawoman :
Congrats on getting the job :-) Don't worry about it, take it one day at a time, I'm sure you'll do great! :-)
from goingloopy :
I'm with you on the brains and funny thing. Gets me every time. I thought only I had aliens on my couch. No, wait, that's just the cat. She likes to pretend sometimes.
from hissandtell :
Pants? So glad you didn't disappoint, you grumpy darling! Love, R xxx
from warcrygirl :
Congrats on the board position hon!
from avrilfan12 :
hi i like ur profile look at my diary thats is named Life is Fucking Shitty then youll understand me ok i just wanted to say hi
from hissandtell :
Oh, kittikins. I'm glad you've drawn the line in the sand. Hold tight to that thought: not because he's married, but because he's a manipulative prick. Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
Go girl!! That's what they mean by boundaries...not letting people walk all the fuck over you. At least that's what my shrink told me. That, and all those "take care of yourself" messages. Men suck. Especially ones who do shit like M.G. Hang in there, chickie...you are beautiful and intelligent and talented, and it is his loss.
from ittybittycat :
Oh! If Pippin could be shipped here to Florida without the worry of being harmed I would adopt him faster than you could say the longest word in the English dictionary..
from luvabeans :
echoing thecrankyone, i don't think you're a loser, either. and, as to my last entry, i was trying to call attention to the fact that my i recognize the silliness of those games i play. but i thank you for the reality slap. i know this might sound empty and dumb, witty, but you really will be okay.
from thecrankyone :
I don't think you're a loser. Actually if I had it to do over, I would still have Warren, I just would have gotten rid of his loser dad much earlier. Life would be easier if we could have kids w/o men, oh wait, if you have the money, you can...LOL!! Though I don't think once identity should come from one's kids, and I know the best way to keep other people from thinking you're a loser, is to first convince yourself. It carries over in to how you present yourself.. ((hugs))
from thecrankyone :
Actually Lawernce Welk is German-Russian, he is from about two hours west of here, a little town not too far from Bismarck (ND capital) he is the same nationality as my MOm's family. They all talk that way, and most were raised extremely Roman Catholic (ie very very conservative and very very uptight and very strong work ethic - which is why the show makes Disney look PG). His house is actually a museum of sorts right now. Its actually not that unusual of an accent in ND.
from awittykitty :
Yikes! How do I delete freakish "Vote Bush" messages off my D'land message thinigie? HELP! EEK! Patootie! I think I need a flu shot. :-0
from iamhubpluh :
If you are voting AGAINST Bush, check out http://BADNARIK.com he is for 100% EQUALITY rights for EVERYBODY as well as for stoping the war in Iraq, and NOT sending more troops as Kerry is for (based on his debate answers). Vote your heart, not the less of two evils!
from autumnleigh :
Sweet. But at first, I thought that was Gloria Steinem in the first pic.
from ittybittycat :
My beloved wittykitty, how i missed thee. Wow, to the entry. That's all I can say... I hope your dad had a rockin' party in heaven.
from his-holiness :
Damnit Woman!!! Are you trying to make me cry with your sweetness? thank you...
from shaded-lily :
OK, let me get this straight: Utterly self-centered mother pays no attention to witty's art = witty depressed. Unrelated third parties pay attention to witty's art and like it = witty depressed. What's wrong with this picture? (pun, ha ha.)
from sanetwin :
Well, it seems to me (and I'm just venturing a guess here) that having your artwork on display is like having tiny little pieces of your soul and tiny pieces of your life on display for the whole world, the public, everyone to view and criticize. I write awful mediocre poetry that the very few times I have ventured to show people they have applauded and then followed up with "it has potential BUT" which is as good as saying it's crap so I know ferret it away because it was dashing my heart and soul to the ground. I can understand perfectly why you are so terrified of this upcoming show. I hope you can stand through it proudly by your beautiful artwork.
from goingloopy :
I'm with you on "truth=relationship over" thing. That's exactly my problem. Well, one of them...hehehe. But then again, men suck...they are perfectly fine with enumerating all your faults, but try pointing out theirs, and they act like you've committed some massive crime. You're also right on about Martha Stewart. And you can bet that they will SHOW her jail cell on the news, too, no matter what catastrophes are happening elsewhere in the world....okay, I'll shut the hell up, but I love your diary. Hang in there, sister. :)
from sanetwin :
I review old conversations with myself and *laugh* about them. Try that one, talking and laughing in public to yourself. Yup, people think I'm insane.
from ariawoman :
Oftentimes when I'm walking alone, I'll close my eyes and walk. I dont know why, it's just, a different experience. I usually get nervous after like 10 steps, but I try. :-)
from hissandtell :
Fiestaware, darling witty? Of, god, I love you. But you know that anyway, don't you? Love, R xxx
from rickscafe :
great diary. Thanks for sharing with us.
from saamba :
I used to be a big fan of Dave Barry - I would have friends or family down in Florida send me clippings of his column. That was awhile ago, before he got big. But after awhile you get used to his writing style and it becomes way too predictable. The jokes aren't funny anymore because its always the same schtick. Your writing style is more flowing and unpredictable, and I like that.
from sanetwin :
I love the sketch (is it a sketch? I suppose it is, yet I don't know art lingo, I am a bit of slow at those things) of the girl with the skinny body who flung her arm up and hid part of her face. What wonderful eyes.
from shaded-lily :
I always feel a twinge of guilt when I just scan through the Sunday newspaper and then put it in the recycling bin. I think, "Somebody put their heart and soul and an awful lot of work into that story, and I can't even take the time to read it!" Thank goodness there are people out there with time on their hands to pick up the slack for me. ..... Good work on the skinny-chick-pic, you managed to make it interesting and that's not easy when you're dealing with skinny chicks .... speaking of which, and tying in belly-dancing here, I just got a belly-dancing-based workout video featuring Kathy Smith, and it's amazing how UN-SEXY her toned, six-pack abs look compared to the softer tummies of the professional belly-dancers backing her up. There's hope for us yet.
from sanetwin :
Oh dear, I watched "Dirty Dancing" and "Working Woman" yesterday. it must have been a girly movie day for everyone.
from warcrygirl :
Bwahahahaha! Loved this entry dear. Or should I say, Board Member...:)
from warcrygirl :
You can say you're sorry he took your email wrong. Ask him to read it again and maybe he'll get it.
from xnavygrrl :
You used the word "harpy". Twice. You crack me up.
from hissandtell :
Darling, for what it's worth, I wouldn't be in too much of a rush to apologise. His wife's actions sound appalling and Married Guy should be made aware that behaviour of that nature in front of a guest - whether he considers you a quasi-family member or not - is unacceptable. I really think you should do nothing for a couple of days and let him approach you: with apologies for both his wife's behaviour and his response to your note. Love, R xxx
from thecrankyone :
My brain knows you are right, but my emotions have other ideas. I know others have been thru much much worse, and I could be much worse off, but right now I can't seem to find the forrest for the trees. I think I'll recover once I get past throwing myself this big old pity party. I am grateful that I have Warren and he had a home and 'hood for those years.
from hissandtell :
Okay, babelicious - you look utterly fabulous, of course. I just wish I could see the ubiquitous purple underwire. Ah, however much I hate to be the one to mention it though, darling, I do have to wonder whether having the dog posed there (ex utero, as it were) would have made the photograph less suspect. I'm thinking it could have looked like a promo for Suzy Slutsky�s Guide to Canine Pleasuring. And your weeds are divine, by the way! Love, R xxx
from autumnleigh :
Yes, you MUST submit your work to the show. I love what little you've posted. Do it. It's a great opportunity. And to hell with a frame.
from warcrygirl :
"snerkwad" Loved it, stealing it! :)
from hissandtell :
Well...to sift through the suitors, you need to arrange some sort of test. Maybe it could be, "I shall marry the man who is able to pick up a pair of my purple bikini underwear without using his fingers, or his teeth". Or something.
from warcrygirl :
*sigh* Witty, Witty, Witty...You should have really asked her what she was doing trying on running shoes. I wish I was there, I would have totally gotten into it, suggesting shoes for her and asking her how many miles a day she ran. I also would have made up a phony lawsuit that I "won" involving unruly children, but that's just me...hope the burn fades soon.
from gerg69 :
I didn't do anything to milk, shes just goofing on me. She's one of my best fwends. See we just do this thing where we call each other dork and say "no one likes you."
from queentrixie :
Yes, there is sushi without meat, raw or otherwise. It has a special name and everything. I don't know the name. I don't like sushi either.
from hissandtell :
And have I told you lately how much I love you? Honestly, I think you should have that note from your father framed and next to your computer where you can look at it all the time. I think it's absolutely touchingly achingly lovely beyond all words. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Chin hairs! Arrggghhh! Actually, I'm obsessed with mine. I check them out every day, and pluck the little buggers if I find any. A friend once remarked to me that I'd probably never have them zapped permanently because I secretly enjoy the thrill of discovery - and the sad thing is that she's right.
from saamba :
i think you and i have related desk mates... and to think i'm an editor... ouch!
from saamba :
hi w/kitty! it sounds like you and i related desk mates! (well, mine is more of a bed mate, since saamba (him) sits at the desk and i sit on the bed with the laptop... but i have this crazy green turtle stuffed animal with a silver-dotted purple/pink tye-dyed shell. i think he and your frog would get along very well!
from ariawoman :
HAHAHAHAHAHA! i totally need to take a pic of my desk at home as it is currently. I'd hate to ruin your vision of me and my neatness, but you'd certainly get a huge laugh out of it :-)
from chakra-chick :
Hi Witty! I love reading your entries...Iv'e only just started reading your diary, but I feel like I have forever! Keep it up!
from warcrygirl :
Thanks for the compliment! I wish I could do cakes for a living but I'd need to take a decorating class. Right now I'm self taught and only make two cakes a year. But it's fun and I love doing it.
from silverbiker :
financial issues are always a pain but i hope you get them sorted out! hehe! take care!
from warcrygirl :
Glad you're feeling better hon. I had strep throat once and didn't realize it was strep. By the time I found out I had almost lost the ability to swallow. Ick. I wouldn't wish strep on my worst enemy. Well, maybe just a mild case...
from autumnleigh :
Sadly, sometimes it takes making a scene to get things accomplished. I think we all have a store or two on our "lay low for a while" list. I can't stop laughing about the cat food coupons -- sweet!
from ittybittycat :
WITTY!!!! I missed reading your diary oh so much!!! It's good to be back. Anyways, your art work is oh so beautiful as always :D :D I love going to the Barnes and Noble. I work in one :D Its so awesome. Everytime I go there, I get lost in a book. By the time I realize I have to go, I already spent 4 hours reading a book.
from hissandtell :
Oh, kitty darling, I laughed and cried (as always) at your last entry. Your comments about things like fembots and Paris Hilton really struck a chord, since they happen to be some of my very fvourite topics in the world. The sausage-machine uniformity in women's appearances as happily promoted by media, and how cavalierly women are rewarded for being excessively thin, artificially blonde and authentically air-headed distresses me hugely. And darling, I've had half a lifetime or more of falling in love with gay men who love Gershwin, too. Ah, it's my curse. And my husband tells me repeatedly that my dog and I have identical personalities. (Apparently we're both highly strung, completely pig-headed and inherently lazy with frequent bursts of energy, but very pretty and able to ooze charm and "work the room" when we choose. Oh, and we both love eating.) Good luck finding the man of your dreams over the frozen peas. I'm rooting for you, baby! Love, R xxx
from serikat :
http://www.healthsquare.com/newrx/omn1519.htm a link about omnicef and what it's used for in laymans terms. fruck if i can understand "medicalitis terminology". feel better soon!
from gerg69 :
You're the best cat in the whole world witty. Birthdays are important no matter how old you are. It doesn't matter what you get for a birthday, it matters when someone remembers.
from csympathy :
Just so you know, I've been drawing Anime (different, I know) for about six years and I still can't draw hands. The rest of the body is fine. But hands... no way. We have a war declared. I really, really loved your drawing today. It was awesome. I always enjoy it when you post artwork. Give us more!
from warcrygirl :
I like your stuff, dear. Since you sell on eBay, maybe you could list some of your stuff for sale? Just an idea.
from queentrixie :
Actually, I like that work best out of everything I have seen you do. It really evokes a mood. You should definately try pen and ink again. I would love to see more if you do.
from hissandtell :
We Australians are fucking nice, not at all brusque and we can move as slow or as fast as we bloody well want to. And tell that married bitch from me that we don't take kindly 'round these ridges to some jumped-up squawky scrawny little bantam rooster type askin' for eatin' irons like she's the bloody Queen of Sheba. She's got more arse than Jessie, the pushy bloody scrubber. (Oh, and love your work, witty, maaaaate.) Smooch, R xxx
from ariawoman :
Sometimes they say people that are passed on can come back and make their presence known to you in that way. Ringing the phone, pushing things off their place, etc. Not sure if you believe in that sorta stuff, but yeah hehe.
from shaded-lily :
It looks more like a comet than seagull poop to me. And the puddy tat one is CUTE!
from warcrygirl :
Glad to hear you're back up and about. To get rid of that stubble you need to shave against the grain. Makes it nice and smooooooth.
from hissandtell :
Oh, misswitty, I can completely relate to your desire for a lamb's femur. I have those sort of skeletal urges myself, which is why I have such a fine collection of bestial skulls and pelvic bones. I also think it's significant that the Top Lamb himself spoke so openly to you (and I'm a Capricorn too, so I swear I speak with some authority here). If the sign of a really good Rubens is that the bottoms follow one around the room, I think you've hit on the head (as it were) the secret of a paint-by-numbers Jesus. I just hope you learned something from the chance encounter. That is all. Love, R xxx
from shaded-lily :
Ahhhhhhh! Can you find a priest to exorcise that Mommy Guilt demon? Those evil spirits are stubborn, I know.
from warcrygirl :
Yes, it's probably mild anemia. I have some extra iron supplements that are still good, if you email me some kind of mailing address I'll send them to you. Otherwise, any grocery store or drug store that sells vitamins will sell them. Or you can eats yer spinach like Popeye...
from ariawoman :
More than likely the excessive bleeding is making you anemic. Back when I had the tumor, I had really severe periods, to the point where i'd go through 1 super plus tampon per hour. I'd get really tired and feel like someone kicked the shit out of me. I'd also get the chills and feel achy. Unfun. I suggest you really get checked out, I know it sucks and all, but anemia isn't to be toyed with...
from warcrygirl :
I agree, you did get the good DNA! I enjoy your diary because you sound like my favorite and and you even look a little like her! Too cool!
from gerg69 :
...and the balloon machine is broken.
from gerg69 :
You're right, you did get the good DNA Kitty
from his-holiness :
Family Guy! But Home Movies needs to come back...i miss you brandon...*sob*
from warcrygirl :
Your mom sounds like my grandma in as much as "you can't do anything 'right'". Drives me insane!
from antihoyhoys :
Witty Kitty! You are great. *rawrrr*
from warcrygirl :
Witty honey, you need to turn your phone off at night. Do it for YOU! Sorry you're going through such a rough spell.
from thecrankyone :
http://www.depoprovera.com/vc-user.asp#1 that should have some info on it for you. I am on the shot also. But I haven't been on it long enough to tell how it is affecting me. they also have a 1-800 number.
from shaded-lily :
If I had to sum up your artwork in one word, it would be "vibrant." Did I say that before? ****************** I think that business about the anger management certificate was just a test to see if you'd get all bent out of shape when you didn't get what you were promised. You passed. Your certificate is in the mail. :)
from hissandtell :
You know, darling kitty, I never know what to say to you about your writing. Is "I fuckin' love you" too much?
from warcrygirl :
Cussing at your computer doesn't count against your anger management points, dearie. You HAVE to be like that to even own a computer. And yes, try the Adware!
from zaziel :
I hope someone recommended Ad-aware from lavasoft.com, because it sounds like you had spyware. Spyware can be missed by anti-virus programs.
from idiot-milk :
Married boys suck. Actually, as I think about it, all boys suck. Why the fuck can't you be friendly without them thinking you want to jump in their pants? And why do they INSIST on being so goddamn cute, and smelling so goddamn GOOD, when they're GODDAMN MARRIED. Bah. I'm going to become a nun. A crazy, hermit-nun who lives in a cave and throws rocks at people.
from warcrygirl :
Just sent you an email with some free sites you might be able to use. Also, let me know if you still can't use my comments, it may be a javascript error.
from gerg69 :
Kitty, I wish there were words to say to you but we both know there aint any that really TRUELY help. I know how you feel, I've been there and will probably be there again. Hang on though, It can't rain all the time. Maybe you should sell your diary into chapbook status like transjen? That would surely give you confidence. Maybe?
from gerg69 :
You my dear are the most thoughtful cat in all of diaryland! Thanks for the B-day greetz from vienna dear. I didn't get to wish you a happy anniversary..... Because I didn't know about it. Lousy Nitmo. So here it is now. Glad your still here dear.
from gumphood :
gumph needs percaset
from hissandtell :
So your lucky, delighted recipient will return all that attention in most charming manner? Well, goodness. I do hope you get a little bit of, um, climbing in tomorrow. With or without ropes, of course. Or the need for oxygen, unless you're into that sort of thing. And remember to take your own Sherpa along to carry the camera during the long hard ascent! (Of course, the going down will be much easier.) And now you'll no doubt be pleased to learn that I'm almost out of mountain-related innuendoes; shame, really. Love, R xxx
from gerg69 :
holy crap! how did you remember that? yes its on friday... i think.
from his-holiness :
Witty, you hopeless tease!!!! (& thank you so much for the note yesterday. I don't know if being away from home with my head in this state is better or worse [or causative], but your support means alot)-K
from hissandtell :
When you get a ferret you too can regurgitate food into its mouth while it sits on your shoulder. Won't that be cool?
from dangerspouse :
Ok, you can have a ferret. You're welcome.
from warcrygirl :
And just how do you know you've been Googled? Is there some sort of alert you can get? Or do you just Google yourself at every opportunity? *giggle*
from shaded-lily :
When your employer strips naked in front of you, and walks into your bedroom without your permission, I think that's perfectly reasonable grounds for leaving, and I certainly hope "A" would understand that. He didn't expect you to overlook Zenshrink's similar transgression.
from hissandtell :
Well, surely you could showcase your purple strappy meshy trampy see-through silk thingy on your diary, darling. I'm sure we'd all LOVE to see it. Or is it just me?
from warcrygirl :
Happy Anniversary!!! Here's to another year of Wittyisms!
from hissandtell :
Happy Big One, misskittykins! You know how much I love you. Smooch. xxx
from alicefalls :
run!! ignore my previous note and get your kitty and run!! obviously the dad is a creepazoid... french maid uniform? undressing in the open? eeeeew.
from razor-vixen :
Hmm...that doesn't sound like the most desirable situation. Maybe this job is not for you? Or anyone???
from thecrankyone :
The dad definatly sounds a bit creepy, though I feel really sorry for the kids, it sounds like they are just really looking for somebody to give a damn.. Too bad they can't find that in thier father, who sounds he went off the deep end when his wife died.
from queentrixie :
The french maid thing is totally out of line. And killing small mammals would bother me too.
from alicefalls :
witty, ok dad is weird, but it does sound like the kids really need someone like you in their lives. Although in the end do what your heart tells you. and if dad is making you feel uncomfortable tell him you are there for the kids only. hang in there.
from warcrygirl :
Ah Witty, he sounds like trouble. Not to mention a little weird...has anyone told you how his wife died? Probably of boredom. Please be careful!
from warcrygirl :
I wouldn't worry about Black Widow bites...I saw on Venom ER on Animal Planet where a pregnant woman was bitten by one and they couldn't administer anit-venin because of the baby. They both survived just fine. Get yourself a can of Raid and kill the little fucker. I hate spiders, but I adore Tobey.
from hissandtell :
I'm loving catching up on your recent entries, Miss Kittycakes. Oh, fuck it, I'll just have to come right out and tell you how desperately I missed your incessant witticisms while I was away. Love, R xx
from xnavygrrl :
I take Zyprexa and have been since September. It used to have a sedative affect on me. Now, though, it doesn't make me tired or anything, so either I'm getting used to it or I'm manic. However, I'm still carrying around an extra $30 pounds from Zyprexa so I'm really not out of the woods yet.
from dancing-eyes :
hun, if we all gave up on the things that no one else believed in then none of us would be happy even if they are sometimes ill-fated, we will be happy even if it is for the shortest time and in doing what we want to do regardless of what A or others think then we are living...get out there and live life with M.G even if it all ends in tears - at least then you can say you've lived how you wanted to. I also think that you should do what you want about the nannying - if you don't think that you want to do it, don't let A or anyone else talk you into it - you're the only person who knows what is good and right for you - maybe you're just not ready, nannying is hard work and tiring and takes a lot of you emotionally, if you don't have so much free to give at the moment... is it fair to have it drained from you?! As far as the nude modelling goes, look out for the next naked chick with dancing-eyes and an english accent - it might well be me!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from thecrankyone :
wierd that some people get so many pop ups and others don't get any? Which pop ups are you getting? As for 12 years olds, well my son is 11 adn basically he just needs somebody to cook meals, and be there for emergencies and to make sure he doesn't get any not so good ideas, they also love being treated like little adults, even though they aren't. The younger one, needs a little more supervision, but unless they are preschool or younger they don't need to have somebody next to their person every waking minute, just somebody who is there to talk to, feed them adn make sure they don't get hurt or do something they shouldn't.
from warcrygirl :
LOL Ah yes, the Teletubbies. Both of my boys loved that show. In order to watch it without losing valuable brain cells you must think like a two year old. Kids that age love watching other kids and they like lots of action, hence the incessant jumping. Plus, the whole gender assinging thing doesn't kick in until kindergarten so the asexual thing doesn't even phase them. You want to see a laugh riot, watch one of the potty training videos they have out, I almost pissed myself the first time I watched the one we have!
from warcrygirl :
Nair, nuthin', get the weed whacker!
from gigantor :
the Sopranos ain't got nuttin' on me!!
from ittybittycat :
That's you on the log with your dad? YOUR SO PRETTIFUL!!! :D :D :D. This is such a sweet entry. It made me want to cry.
from gerg69 :
yes it's founded. As an aside since you may be the only one to understand this. have you ever been dooty nadoged...twice in your guestbook? I have!
from awittykitty :
Shhhh. I'm incognito. (hope my hype about being somewhat cute everyday is not totally unfounded)
from gerg69 :
OMG the first picture of witty kitty ? the one on the log?
from gerg69 :
Am i right to assume thats you and dad there in the picture?
from warcrygirl :
Squirrel sex, love it! I have tons of squirrels in my yard, they think they can kick my cat's ass. And, of course, there was the one who didn't look both ways before crossing the street...
from ittybittycat :
I ment to say this sometime ago... I'm glad you enjoyed the Johnny Depp website. You're squirrel sex story reminds me of something that I saw a few months ago. I was waiting by the school bus stop and these birds were chasing each other. When I looked up at this high fence, the birds were mating. There were two other couples mating too. It was like watch porn, but bird style.
from queentrixie :
I am sending a card. A homemade one because that is his preference. But, I needed to vent. Thanks for keeping the nudity alive.
from gerg69 :
And what did YOU think the 69 in my name meant? Huh?
from alicefalls :
I also must agree with shaded lily, seems like the dad is a bit out there, and if even his brother says he isnt there for the kids then it would be amazing to have someone so creative, kind and fun to have in the house. You could be the modern day Maria!
from shaded-lily :
Wow. With a dad that materialistic and self-absorbed, those kids could benefit from being exposed to your alternate world-view.
from alicefalls :
Go for it if the kids are nice! With 7000sq feet you probably wont run into Greg very often. And free vacations! I bet he goes to hoity toity places that are all inclusive!
from luvabeans :
yes, ma'am. i sure AM happy fersure. and a little drunk fersure. and i've certainly been seeing YOU around as well, fersure, and i'll be back to check you out. because i've totally been checking you out from behind, and i'd like to see the whole package. awwwww, yeeaaahhhh.
from thecrankyone :
aqua massage is the ultimate BOMB!! I've only been twice because of the cost, but it totally ROCKS!!! I hope everything works out on the nanny job!!
from dancing-eyes :
my wonderful thing about myself for the day is that i have so many curves that life drawing artists and photographers seem to love my naked form...the other is my never-ending optimism that you and Married Guy will eventually live happily ever after... Keep writing wonderfully and I have a plan to make you a millionaire!
from warcrygirl :
Bwahahahaha!!! I can just see your cat doing that. I could have fun for HOURS with my cat and a flashlight.
from queentrixie :
Grace Jones is attractive in her own way. A little scary but... okay, fine... cartwheels.
from gerg69 :
rather good post today cake flinger. You know I do the same thing, Mickey will sneak up on a towel on the floor. You know, cause you gotta Sneak up on em. Thats when I clap my hands and she she jumps backward through her own ass, ricochets off the door jam, and crawls under the carpet. I don't know WHY she's so skittish. Can't figure it out
from queentrixie :
Yesh, maybe if we bribe Zaz with penii he will return? I am better, I am naked. How are you?
from autumnleigh :
Another beautiful drawing!
from hissandtell :
Dear Kitty-pie, please check out this website for an amusing interview with Our Hugh. He talks at some length about the time he peed himself on stage. I think you'll like it: http://www.abc.net.au/enoughrope/stories/s1105705.htm Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh, you are just so beautiful, missy!
from ittybittycat :
My dear WittyKitty, since I figured that both you and I share the same amount of passion for John Christopher Depp III, I figured that I should share my finds of this website: http://johnnydeppweb.com. That website has so many pictures that you can build a whole shrine and then some
from ittybittycat :
We share the same fantasies... Well, two and a half. Don't you just wish you could just snatch him from his girlfriend just for a little while? yea, me too...
from hissandtell :
Well, all I can say is that I hope the dog stayed under the table all the time YOU were on the bed, you naughty girl. That is all.
from gerg69 :
Thanks for the concern Kitty Kat, I could use a nice fan right now. I don't wish you everything you want, I wish you everything you need. Everything else will fall into place if you have those things. Try to open up more and I'm sure it will flock to you like a big...Christmas tree?
from hissandtell :
Damn you, you teasing taunting temptressy bosomy-hiding vixen!
from warcrygirl :
I love reading your diary, and I really love your artwork. So you're drawing naked judges eh? Keep any ones you do of him, it may come in handy if you ever have to show in his courtroom. :)
from hissandtell :
Um-a. I saw where your boobies would be if you'd left them in the bra. You are a very naughty witty to show off your underwear to all your readers. I can only hope you're woman enough to punish yourself. Cruelly.
from his-holiness :
Empty bra? I tell you what...
from hissandtell :
Mmmm. Perhaps I shall write you a haiku, even though I'm not a man. I rather like your idea of using erotic and neurotic. Mind you, I also like anonymous and autonomous. Of course, if you used those in a haiku you wouldn't have much room for many other syllables. Damn. There's always a downside to writing good poetry, isn't there? What a bastard.
from ittybittycat :
love your new template! :)
from falo :
Hey! Nice new template.
from gerg69 :
thats not a bad sketch kitty. Thanks for the comments lately, sorry i haven't been around much lately. I'm back now!
from banefulvenus :
great banner! Better site!
from warcrygirl :
Duuuuude! Not all men shrivel up like a Little Blue Mushroom. Of course, he could have been freakishly blessed...did he have big hands and feet too? I always wanted to do an informal survey if that was true. Not sure about Married Guy tho...sounds promising. In a creepy sort of way...
from hissandtell :
Well, of course Married Guy is stalking you! I wonder how you were supposed to react when you saw him waving wildly at you? Oh, I have to tell you that Mr Travolta is HERE right now (well, not here with me exactly, but about three hours' drive away) promoting the airline Qantas. He's wearing a real flight captain's uniform with shiny gold buttons, and everything. His customised aircraft features "leather-bound toilet seats and a beaver-fur throw rug on the master bed. On display is a bottle of Penfolds Bin 707 cabernet sauvignon, a two-year-old Qantas magazine with Travolta on the front and April's issue of Architectural Digest, whose cover story was on Travolta's home in Florida. In-flight entertainment is Face/Off, a 1997 movie in which Travolta's character has his face surgically removed". I think he's almost certainly got his large and fantabulous love handle safely tucked away, though, just in case someone tried to surgically remove it...
from queentrixie :
Thank you Miss. Kitty. Suddenly, I feel like Marshel Dillon... I am glad you are here too. It isn't a party till somebody is naked. You are the token naked chick. Now we just need somebody to puke in a potted palm.
from falo :
Yes, yes, you are absolutely a creative person, writer and artist. Do not let the nagging doubts and negative thoughts define you. Oh that makes me mad.
from warcrygirl :
Aw hon! Too bad your mom doesn't see that you are what she raised you to be, i.e. if she raised to you be successful you would be successful (or have the resources to be so). Some parents think kids are like houseplants, a little nourishment, a little sunshine and voila! They take care of themselves. I like your list, I wish I could have made mine. :)
from warcrygirl :
Thanks for the comment hon. So, did you call you mom yet? Fortunately, all I have to do is send mine an email, she doesn't seem to care. She focuses more on sis, anyway.
from nascarwidow :
You've got to pull out the stamps! I think I have some extra ink pads I could send you. I had tons, but hubby got rid of so much of my stuff and I'm not sure anymore what I have and what I just imagine I have! Let me know and I'll see what I've got if you want.
from hissandtell :
I'm naked! I know who Mapplethorpe is! And do you have any idea just how seethingly jealous I am of Patti Smith that she got to fuck both Robert and Sam Shepherd? Hmmm? Do you? Mind you, I have a real soft spot for plastic Virgin Mary kitsch and attractive cement lawn ornaments, too. I'm like Andy Warhol in that way, but with fewer cookie jars. Or maybe I'm like John Waters; I forget which. I'm almost certainly a gay man trapped in a woman's body, though, to steal a line from Madonna (the singer, not the mother of Jesus). And I have a couple of very nice Lourdes-esque shrines dotted around my yard. And Infants of Prague, too. Yet now I feel so...phony. And my suggestion for the Press Club awards clothing is, well, go naked. Publish and be damned. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh, wittikins, how moving. There's something about a barbecue and a bonfire in the same day, isn't there?
from hissandtell :
Wittybaby, is it just me or is there something vaguely arousing about JT-with-hair-man making suggestions about "measuring things out"? Goodness. I feel sure I'd be over there in a shot to look at his, um, drawings.
from hamakosan :
Thank you so so much for your sweet words. You shouldn't have.. but you did and it was VERY thoughtful. Ugh. thank you!
from warcrygirl :
Ah, I see we have the same mother. I, too, detest mother's day. Only with my mom I usually just ignore her. She lives 1,000 miles away so it's easy. She's getting lucky this year: she's getting a coffee mug with a pic of my boys on the side.
from wilberteets :
I forgot to kiss that frog. If I had kissed the frog, I'm sure the cleaning lady would have walked around the corner just in time to see it and like all the other frogs I've kissed, it would still be a frog instead of a prince. But hope springs eternal, right?
from hissandtell :
Kittybaby, it sounds like you're In Like Flynn with Interesting Older Guy. How many men give women they've just met free tin light switchplate thingies AND want to walk them to their cars? Hmmm? And David Hockney - oh yeah baby. At my last workplace I had a huge poster of "A Bigger Grand Canyon" on my wall - I'm sure it was the only thing that kept me (almost) sane (oh, that and the rather fetching picture of Heath Ledger as Ned Kelly on my notice board, too - grrr!).
from super-suzan :
OH! If only I had heard about no underwear day sooner. Sadly, I just stumbled across your diary today and I'm really likeing it. I'll be back for sure. See ya! ~Susanne~
from discodave :
Yup - if the builder's crack doesn't put you off, then the semi-automatic weapon probably will... Dxx
from ariawoman :
If there was such a pill, I'd take 20 a day to stop caring about how "cute boy" feels about me lol. Damned us and our loving men that are not available to us, for whatever their reasons. We are both worth more...
from autumnleigh :
I LOVE the pastel! Love it!
from ittybittycat :
Talk to him! Its worth a shot.
from awittykitty :
(site was down temporarily but a word via e-mail from the lovely, wise and talented Hiss and Tell): Hmmm...I'm thinking that the Eight is Enough man probably has a wild hidden side (not to mention a nice big Victorian house with a picket fence, if you're into that sort of thing). And definitely talk to Woody, if you're planning to marry him. It would be a good thing to suss out if he's likely to want to sleep with your adopted Korean daughter at any stage down the track, before you fall madly in love.
from discodave :
Plus, we get the whole wan, pallid and sloe-eyed look down perfectly. OK, that comes from the calcium and vitamin deficiencies, but I still maintain that tobacco is a vegetable. Dxx
from hissandtell :
You are easily the naughtiest girl in the whole of diaryland. I want to be just like you, you know.
from zaziel :
Thank you! I love it!
from idiot-milk :
And how do you feel about cheesy, made for television movies? Because if you also have a deep and abiding love for such things, then I believe we may really BE long lost relatives of some sort. Oh, and what's your position on pudding cups?
from ariawoman :
I'm glad someone understands that whole feeling more important walking with a man thing lol. Maybe you and I were separated at birth hehe cept i'm a little younger than you based on what i've read in your diary. Maybe one day we'll both have men of our own to walk into stores with :-)
from hissandtell :
Oooh, I love Ry Cooder. I just received, sweetheart, your yellow roses...
from thecrankyone :
((hugs)) I's sorry to hear that. Finding a therapist who is a good match can be very hard. I'm still looking.
from science-boy :
Hey! Thanks for stopping by and adding me as a favorite! I took a peek and like what I see so far, and plan on coming back. I'll bring the sander right over! Have a great day! s-b
from queentrixie :
Thanks for the compliment. You gotta love PMS. I think every woman should do at least one entry while in the midst, kinda like the drunken entry craze except slightly easier to read. PMS aka Ray's revenge....
from ittybittycat :
So thats how it created! :D :D Woot woot! Now I feel all smart and stuff. My favorite creation of God's is, of course, Johnny Depp. I just wish he made two more Johnny Depps. One for me and one for you. That would be perfect, don't you think? :D
from hissandtell :
Sure, I have a question: What's God's real name?
from hissandtell :
I always had trouble telling the Lamb of God clipart from the Jesus with the Halo clipart, too. They're both so, I don't know, saviourly.
from ittybittycat :
Thanx a billion for the note. I promise to change my layout ASAP. ((((((((awittykitty))))))) :D :D
from ittybittycat :
I swear your entries will be the end of me. You are just TOO FUNNY! :D :D Nice artwork. I wish I could do that. But the second I see a naked person, I'd start turning redder than a tomato. Imagine if it was Johnny Depp...
from csympathy :
Your last entry was by far one of the funniest I've ever read. I'm betting my neighbors are wondering why I ran outside choking on chicken-and-rice soup. Yeah, it's an automatic reaction... to run outside... *ahem*. Anyway, it was a real funny entry. I'm reading it to everyone I know.
from hissandtell :
Oh, the picture was sensational, by the way. When we go to Sedona, I'll catch 'em and you arrange 'em and paint 'em, okay?
from hissandtell :
Well, baby, you managed to tap into about a million of my fantasies in one single entry - are you proud? Vinnie sounds like a complete wonder; all that talent and huge props (and dress-ups) besides - woof! No, I'm not becalmed yet, either. It was the mention of the pointy-toed boots that pushed me right over onto my back, still writhing and squirming. Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!
from witchfire :
*bows in awe to the run-on sentence queen* You just made my day. Thank you. :)
from awittykitty :
gee, I just realized I'm making everybody feel guilty about their favorite's list. I must be channeling my mother.
from hissandtell :
FUUUCK. Darling, I'm NEVER taking you off my favourites' list because I don't want you to be fat and unhappy. Trust me, I'm only doing this for your own good. xxx
from csympathy :
I thought for a moment that I was the 157 entry person but then I checked and I had... 156. Don't worry, witty, I'm not taking you off my list. Ever. I've had you on since October, when I started. You're too cool to let go.
from autumnleigh :
Lots of stuff on my fridge. Anything to cover the avocado puke green color.
from queentrixie :
Please, forgive me. You are hereby invited to dinner. It will be ready in an hour so, hurry up!
from ittybittycat :
lol! that conversation with jessica simpson. i wonder how nick deals with her ditziness. i don't think i could handle that. oh, thanks for the note on my tagboard :D :D :D
from his-holiness :
Good call.
from hissandtell :
Sorry it took so long, but what can I say? It's tough being a goddess. You know that.
from zaziel :
Hey, you can still indulge in lengthy melodrama. Just hyphenate it.
from nascarwidow :
Just catching up from my vacation and had to tell you that your entry on 4/5 really hit home. You said "I could discover the cure to cancer and AIDS, and save 3000 people in a building and still feel worthless. That's just how I am. And that has to come from within. . . .And getting out of that pit, is not unlike trying to climb out of quicksand. The harder you scrabble up the edge, the deeper you sink." You put into words exactly how I feel. Hey, are you hiding out in my brain? Thanks for your openness and honesty!
from zaziel :
Try pasting this paragraph in: <P>So we totally had it out today on the phone. I am, shall we say, in the clutches of a "<i>life-sucks-</i><b>my-shrink-is-going-on-vacation-</b><i>married-guy-is-hiring-a-hit-man-to-whack-me-because-he-found-my-diary-</i><b>and-</b>even-my-cat-hates-me-<b>and-</b><i>i-just-found-a-hair-growing-out-of-my-chin-<i>and-</i>i'm-listening-to-sad-mexican-music-</u>and-</u>i-think-I-<u>-may-have-to-commit-suicide-</U>by-forcing-my-self-to-watch-lifetime-movies-back-to-back-this-weekend" kind of mood. </P>
from zaziel :
What she said.
from ariawoman :
Your template did that because of the long word you put...break that word up and it won't look like that anymore....
from zaziel :
Oh, my. Didja fuck up your html, sweetheart?
from hissandtell :
Hmmm. Good luck with Osama and the camels. (WHAT IS WITH THE WIDE SCREEN FORMAT, WOMAN?) Now, regarding your other criteria, I think I'm your man! Except I'm a woman, of course. But I really do hate polyester...
from hissandtell :
Go the Kitty-Dance! I'm imagining it as a slight variation on Bruce Wayne doing the Bat Dance, but with sparkly ruby slippers, obviously. Now, I believe that I am the queen of inappropriate boundary violations these days, at least in the southern hemisphere. And I'm so proud of it that as I age further I intend to push forward and extend those boundaries until no-one in my regal swathe is left unviolated. It's my legacy to the world as an aging goddess. Make it yours too, baby! Love, R xxx
from zaziel :
I love it. Feel free to add quotes whenever you like.
from zaziel :
I never realized it before, but "silly piffle" is a redundancy, dontcha think? I thought it was satisfying piffle. Thank you. If I evah bothered to read an astrologer, Brezsny was the one. He amused me.
from zaziel :
Oh, pish. I was all excited about joining your rapidcycling ring, but it's not about barreling 38 mph downhill on a bicycle, is it? Come over and put your favorite quotes by wise people in my notes section. Betcha know some good 'uns.
from missundaztud :
I started feeling beyond bored so i started being goofy on DiaryLand and looking at people's diaries. I came across your's... obviously... and it made me laugh. A LOT. and then at one point i was like, "46? a 46 year old has this awesome sense of humor? power to the 46 year old chick!!!" heh. Rockin'. Anyway, just wanted to say thankx for helping my smile. <3 Amber
from hissandtell :
Today's entry made me laugh and cry. I understand completely. When I start typing an entry (naked, of course) my husband says, "Here goes old Hiss" which of course is my online persona, rather than R who, when she isn't naked in the garden and being lazy and having sex, is just being normal and boring - cooking, cleaning and sleeping. Funny. Oh, and I gave you some shameless promotion in my latest diary entry, too. Love, R xxxx
from nascarwidow :
Loved today's entry. I think because I can really relate to it. Hang in there and keep on fighting.
from rumblelizard :
HA! Yeah, and they're saran-wrapping the crapper in the Oval Office.... hee hee!
from his-holiness :
Just going through old entries (I've been busy at work and haven't been keeping up) & I found the Hundred List Thingie, and wanted to throw a couple of things out. First; I was dating a woman who dragged my ass to Sister Act 2 because her ex (the guy who popped her cherry) was in it. Well not only was I oh-so-pleased to be dragged to a movie I didn't want to see, so I could watch my date's first lover on the screen, but the creep was in the audience and would stand up and dance around everytime he was onscreen. And as for the Shining, yeah, it is a damn scary movie, but mostly because Jack is doing a dead on impression of my mom's ex-husband. Hope all is well-D
from hissandtell :
Oh, I am completely enamored of your notion of running off to Sedona and becoming a regionally known painter of sun-drenched nude men. That sounds like the thing I'd want to do most in the world - other than be a raptor-carer, of course. Perhaps I could combine the two...
from csympathy :
I hope Married Guy figures what a jerk he's being soon, you have me on the edge of my seat, hoping for the best. Chin up, witty!
from hissandtell :
But Johnny Depp was married to ME in '97! The duplicitous Janus-faced bastard! Hey, thanks for your note. I absolutely love your diary, and will most certainly join the Typing Naked diaryring as soon as I'm not quite so tied up...
from ittybittycat :
that's cool you saw Johnny Depp in Secret Window. Didn't he look the hottest when he was higing behinf the door? When I saw that scene, I was drooling a river... :D
from gerg69 :
great flow. I like when people put pictures in their paintings.
from discodave :
I could be mistaken, but I think I may well have been in that bookshop myself - it just hit me when I saw your note...hmm. Dxx
from pandionna :
Um, yeah, because I have that Italian blood, I mean.
from pandionna :
Hello, hello! Inigo is a Nanday conure and Louise is an Alexandrine parakeet. Don't let "parakeet" fool you though. She's not like a budgie. She's about six, maybe seven inches tall and her tail is about nine inches. "Gentle giants" they call her breed. Yeah, RIGHT! She's fiesty! So, whya no Italians, ah? Meh, I won't get all offended. I wouldn't marry an Italian man either. None of this King of the Castle crap.
from csympathy :
I wish I could do something to help you, witty, but due to the fact that I'm underage and jobless as well, I don't think I could do much. And, you know, Halmark cards are cheap. I totally appreciate someone who takes the time to write their own cards. I hope you do well, don't get too down. I'm still hooked to the computer screen, reading up on you. You're wonderful, witty, remember that.
from thecrankyone :
Sorry I took so long to get back. A reverse Ip is a lookup site for example http://remote.12dt.com/rns/ where you can trace an IP number (stands for Internet protocol and is basically the electronic zip code of sorts for any computer on the internet, its a bit more complex than that, but thats' the simle version). By using an IP number (usually logged if you have any kind of stats tracker) you can tell who has been on your site, which is handy if someone is being a jerk or you are just curious about somebody. IP numbers usually look like X.x.x.x with the x replaced by a number.
from gerg69 :
Your daddy was a pilot? Did he fly in the war? That fascinates me and I'd like to hear about that.
from xnavygrrl :
That made me cry. Beautifully done.
from xnavygrrl :
I'm bipolar also. Nice to meet you!
from elliemay23 :
Ok, so I have only read one entry, but I laughed my butt off. I will be back for more. Ellie
from orliluver43 :
thanks for the message about my friend - i talked to her and she swears it was a one-time thing and she's talked with people and gotten over it. either way she seems a lot happier recently. thanks again for the advice - loved your entry on bus people, it was very funny and descriptive!
from gerg69 :
I thought the same thing that Autumn did.
from autumnleigh :
The guy who leads the class is JOHNSON?! Stop, you're killing me!
from autumnleigh :
Are those gnomes supposed to be clapping? I see masturbation mimes.
from gerg69 :
thanks for the comments. I learned to draw perspective in architech class and I really like when someone else does it. I dig your cat painting too, my cat looks the same when it's time for her to go to the can..... Not that thats what your painting makes me think of.
from jennyserwylo :
Just randomly clicking on ramdon diaries and I came across yours. You write really well and are extremely funny. Go you. Anyways...everyone enjoys compliments :) Hope you sell your car before it rusts away!
from gerg69 :
Sometimes I wish someone would just smack me in the head. Oh kitty, you don't have to call me by my full name. Greg is fine, and my friends call me GERG. Some even call me Gerg the astoundingly cool if you wish. ......and thanks
from dancing-eyes :
i really like your writing and it makes me laugh every day... i feel awful for wishing this on MG's wife but i hope he leaves her and runs off with you into the sunshine. x x
from ittybittycat :
I went and saw Johnny Depp's Secret Window tonight (opening night) and let me tell you. He's Hot. Too. Hot. To. Handle. Hot. I'm sure a good dose of him (and that movie is a very good and healthy dose) will have all the aches a pains and sore gone like the wind :D
from discodave :
I'm not entirely sure how innuendo-ridden that comment is, so i'll just say "thanks, yes!" and hope for the best. Dxx
from ittybittycat :
Walrus masterbastion? That's a new one. Make ya kinda wonder what kind of "things" this person's into, huh? But i wouldn't want to find out. Might stalk me or something... :)
from ariawoman :
I totally understand the checkbook love thing. I can't even count how many times i've told my friends that i'd trade in all the checks I seem to get for hugs, or I Love Yous from family. My family is king of the checkbook love, and while it's nice to have it, you can't replace "I Love You". I've always said that if I ever get married and have kids, that I'd hug them way too much, and they'd not have to know about this whole checkbook love thing...
from serikat :
It is lovely. Hands are very hard to do and it looks well done. Post more artwork! ~.^ We'll be your gallery that you can infuse with culture.
from gerg69 :
Hey thats no bad at all Kit. Don't know what your moms prolem is. Did I ever tell you about the Kandinsky I have over my Steinburgh piano? It's the one of the dogs playing poker.
from gerg69 :
I'm glad! It looks like my mind control is working and I am now ready to take over the world! HA HA HA HA!!!! Now, wheres the bosses phone number....i do believe I deserve a raise. hmmm 1 million dollars should do......
from sunshine0221 :
You are very welcome. I will do my best to work Salma Hayek into an entry discreetly:) I am enjoying your journal muchly!
from gerg69 :
There is always another side to the coin, nothing is absolute, guys may think your a lesbo...and they may not. I know it's hard not to imagine the worst, believe me. I think a lot more like you than you know. You deserve nice things to happen witty, go to the fucking show for cryin out loud. You will only sit at home regretting it. You wont sit at home thinking "well boy am I glad I'm not at that thing I've been obsessing over for about 2 weeks, now I can sit here waiting for my ma to call." Go . Please go.
from queentrixie :
Accept the ride from the lesbian. Even if the men think you are a lesbian... so what? Straight men love lesbians (there is a whole porn industry devoted to that fact). They dream about lesbians. Make yourself a T-shirt with the caption "Convert Me" and wear it to your next art class.
from his-holiness :
Sounds perfect.
from wilberteets :
Nice to meet you too. I am a libra sun, scorpio moon, and leo rising. I have regular massages too, and I was thinking it might be a nice career. I'm thinking about it. I think it will be a great skill to have, even if I don't use it for a career.
from ittybittycat :
boob! Johnny should have won last night. Protest I say... PROTEST! :)
from idiot-milk :
What, you can't share?! He's Johnny Depp! There's more than enough hotness to go around! How can you be so cruel?!
from serikat :
I'm so happy you decided to submit your artwork. /cheer... That takes guts woman!
from discodave :
If it had Dubya's face, I'd use a baseball bat, not a hand. Grrr. Dxx
from idiot-milk :
Well, would you settle for a cat with no opposable thumbs, no SUV, but very liberal political views? Because I'm afraid that's all I have to offer at this time. But he's a really NICE kitty! And I'm sure he'd treat you really well! As long as you keep feeding him tuna, he's pretty agreeable! You just let me know, and I can fix you kids up. And, according to the moral majority, as soon as they allow gay marriages, people will be able to marry anyone and anything they want...including cats! So it would all work out!
from discodave :
What would a cat have on a rider, do you think? All the catnip and birdheads it can carry? Dxx
from orliluver43 :
Submit the drawing! Really, you have to. Sorry if you don't want advice from random people but I just wanted to tell you that... Happy Belated Birthday by the way (I missed it)
from his-holiness :
You're going to make me blush.
from discodave :
Heh - so many people, so few hands... Hope you had a good weekend. Dxx
from awittykitty :
Thanks for all the nice birthday greetings. I really appreciated them. Peace.
from anglewings :
Hi, was out an about, came across your diary. Just had to say i like it. Latezz
from queentrixie :
My pleasure! Happy Valentine's day. Happy Birthday (slightly belated). Happy President's Day. Happy Happy Day!
from kittyleopard :
Awesome diary!! Karma!!
from redstarhelix :
a very happy birthday wish to you.
from discodave :
Happy Birthday Miss Kitty. Dxx
from autumnleigh :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope it's wonderful.
from gerg69 :
It's official now, so Happy birfday witty! And no, I don't feel obligated to say it. Everyone DOES deserve at least acknowledgement that they were born. I hope it's nice and you get tons of yogurt, or whatever you really want.
from falo :
Hi Kitty. I just wanted to pop in to wish you a happy birthday. I know it's a little early but...Happy Birthday! Best Wishes, Olaf.
from ittybittycat :
I say that my sister should have the phone surgically attached to her ear. She's on the house phone every second of the day. And when she can't use the house phone, she uses my mother's cell phone
from gerg69 :
no you're thinking of chadguay.
from gerg69 :
I live in slobobia..thats just south of fun-free-slovakia.
from thecrankyone :
80 inches.. yikes.. we only have about 15 or 20 or so.. of course 5 straight days of -20+ temps would make Ghandi go postal but that is another story entirely... Too bad I dont' have a tow truck.. I could make a bundle jump starting stranded motorists..
from gerg69 :
ittybittycat meet wittykitty. Wittykitty, this is ittybittycat. ittybitty, wittykitty. itty, witty, witty. itty. oooooooohhhh, that was fun ..... I have a migraine now.
from ittybittycat :
Thats a really nice drawing. I wish I could draw like that.
from gerg69 :
Witty, If I could I would buy you enough yogurt to choke a ponie. You'd be all' " YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEHAW! " And I'd be all " Yepshe'sfullayogurt." Oh, I am one tired monkey. feh. I'm runnin around tired noteing people. I got the stupids now. I've gone plaid.
from his-holiness :
I will let you have as much chocolate as you want. I'd even buy you some Godiva truffles if you wanted-D
from gerg69 :
brocken? I really can spell. onest.
from gerg69 :
eh three notes in a row from me...Now I look like a stalker, sheesh. I love looking through peoples junk drawers, theres always neat stuff in there even if they dont think so. .....hang on lemme look in mine. yep. I got an an ooooold AOL cd, about 34 flathead screwdrivers some envelopes, a floppy disk holder and an old brocken beaded necklas from the lollapalooza tour. And I noticed the blackbird header on your site, coincidence??
from gerg69 :
the next BAHD is planned on valentines day at 4:53 PM. start teasing and growing now babuh. If you can get it as high as marion Barry you might make the finals.
from gerg69 :
Jessica Simpson....what a boob.
from dancing-eyes :
i hope you don't mind me adding you to my favourites, your humour just makes me giggle!
from falo :
Thanks for the note on Big Fish. I also having lost my dad was really touched by the movie. By the idea of stories told, tall tales sometimes, and by the aura that was created by the fact of the stories and them being told. The film reminded me of my dad and some of the stories he told me, and of the whole phenom growing up and how so many mysterious things feel (or are?) real as a kid. The one thing that Burton does that I can't quite reach is the darkness attached. It seems like I am always in the middle of someone's dark fantasy when watching one of his films. I think I related to this movie the best of any that I've seen. I liked Edward Scissorhands quite a bit however. I likewise liked much Pee Wee's big adventure! That was funny!
from ariawoman :
I totally understand the whole thinking people are mad at you when they aren't, or wondering why an email goes unanswered, etc. I'm the same way, unfortunately. It really does drive a person crazy...
from ittybittycat :
Aww!!! Your kitty is too cute. My sister found a kitty recently. But it ran away, I think. hoping to find it soon.
from ariawoman :
Awww, your kitty is so cute. :-)
from ittybittycat :
Thanks a billion for tagging my board. Happy Happy New!
from kate1211 :
Thanks!~ I'd love to see some of your art. In the meantime I'm loving your diary!
from ariawoman :
I know what you mean. I've had people access my diary in weird ways. One thing people seem to search for is a store called "estelles dressy dresses", another time, they were looking up some porn video called "painting my nails" or something, it was really odd. I also get a lot of people that search for "Telcordia sucks" (my former employer). That always makes me laugh. :-)
from zoombeanie :
The shirt idea is a cool one. I would wear it.
from mattieluna :
I like your site. You're a good writer, and write pretty amusing stuff. My husband's a student in massage therapy and already he's been flashed quite a few times. Also, there are stories about people who don't quite realize you're supposed to get UNDER the sheet, so when the therapist comes back into the room, the person is lying stark naked on the table. I don't think I could handle it. My husband's classes discuss how to handle that type of situation gracefully (and in a way that doesn't make the client never want to get another massage again).
from zoombeanie :
That Micheal Jackson-Cat in the Hat picture is too funny. Is it just me or does Micheal look sick?
from realjesus :
OMG you totally stole my picture of the cat in the shit!!! oh well thats ok imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and i will forgive you because you are kick ass and like musicals the end
from thecrankyone :
what a "Wheatie" (ie total flake). I'd be pissed too!!
from phizhy :
[[[[[hug]]]]]] <<<there you're now only 86,678 shy of happier life... I just found your diary and I've been sitting here all morning going thru the archives...You're definetly someone I'm adding to my favorites...
from zoombeanie :
That place sounds a lot like this resturant i went to... I say "accidently" blow up a mercedes and say "I heard that they blew up on their own ramdomly!" ^_~
from sourballs123 :
alfred rocks ur cool im leavin random notes on ples thing pple who like the same thing as me bie
from his-holiness :
A fine point, but then, I suppose, those of us who are on disability don't either.
from his-holiness :
I was going to a life drawing class one night while I was living in Santa Cruz, taking the bus up to campus. There was this woman sitting across from me who kept looking at me nervously. I was having trouble reading it. Is she LOOKING at ME? It didn't seem that way, more just kind of nervously eyeing the person closest to her. I began to wonder if she'd done too much speed. I got off the bus and made my way to the class, forgetting the girl on the bus. Once settled in, we all sat patiently, waiting for the model. Then, there she is, the girl from the bus, totally naked. I suppose I would have been a bit nervous on the bus myself. Take care-D
from thecrankyone :
Thank you so much for the kind words. It meant alot. Things may be looking up a bit.
from zoombeanie :
You deserve lots of love. :)
from zoombeanie :
That's so awsome that you had Robin William's address. He's one of my favorite actors. I hope you feel better. You're too funny to be sad
from his-holiness :
What does one do on a date? I was just recounting the last thing I'd labeled "date." I had too much to drink and allowed myself to be fooled into one of my flailing attempts at dancing. It didn't go well. I even broke a glass. Jeeziz. No, this "dating" thing is definitely foreign. I've been reading you for a while. Being a medicated loony on SSI I get a lot of what you're talking about. Take care-D
from zoombeanie :
Thanks a bunch for tagging my board!!! You rock!
from zoombeanie :
I was reading the entry about the type while naked diary ring you thought about making up. I would so join that if you made it up.
from zoombeanie :
I saw one of your banners and I clicked and read your diary. It is so funny. I hope you dont mind me putting you on my favorite people's list.
from everoboto :
I found you through one of your banners. That Brad and Jennifer thing you wrote...too f'n funny. It was so well written it could be a Saturday Night Live skit, seriously. \m/
from anathema- :
I would join your typing naked ring. I type at home so, aside from my cats, there is no one to complain. Except my neighbors...but I suppose I could shut the blinds for a bit...
from godmoney :
u r one frickin amazing writer. i am serious. there's so much crap here (mine included, i don't even make an effort cuz i have to) so know that i'm not just saying that in an "aw, urs it good" sort of tone. i mean u rock my socks.
from csympathy :
Just wanted to drop a note by saying that I enjoy your diary immensely. No reason, really, I just enjoy it. Continue to write the good stuff.
from ann-frank :
Your dream is indeed odd. don'tcha just love weird dreams? Well, I do. I love it when I wake up laughing. take care!
from tvzero :
thanks for all your compliments and support. and if you have any other thoughts on the survivng LA thing, i'm all ears.

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