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Thank you for sharing. I know how hard anniversaries can be. Every January 28th, I think about my best friend and I can tell you exactly what I was doing that day - it will be with me forever. Take care of yourself.

from heelandlass :

You doing okay Sweets? Thinking of you xxx

from alicefalls :

That was a beautiful entry. I almost cried(but Im at work!) You are both amazingly lucky. I honestly wish I couldve fallen in love like that!

from beckers-j :

It sounds like you and Eric have always had an amazing and unique relationship, and I bet you always will. Lucky girl. :) Oh, and I'll answer your question re: embarassing moments either today or tomorrow.

from heelandlass :

Lovely entry C. You deserve each other - never forget that. xxx

from missdahling :

Clarity, I loved that entry. While I was reading it, it just about made me cry. It's so good to know that there are actually people out there who truely love each other and care about one another the way you and Eric do. Isn't it cool how you can remember things from the past with so much detail, like it just happened yesterday.

from blazingstar :

What beautiful entries! That just made me so happy. I'M so glad you guys got together! Your relationship sounds so beautiful.

from theflyingrat :

Both the entries you did today (in this and your other journal) made me feel all squishy inside. You guys have had a great life together so far and I'm sure it will only get better. ♥

from vla :

Oh, Clarity, I am *so* glad everything turned out all right. After what you and Eric went through with K, you certainly deserve a little peace... That might be why you were quick to assume your friend had ulterior motives, you know? Anyway. That was brave of you to talk to her about it. Sounds like a really fun day.

from krugerpak007 :

GREAT that things turned out good. Glad you had such a good time. Glad that you all spoke about it and that you are feeling good. Have a good week. xoxox Kathy

from thekirks :

I am so happy for you that things turned out okay. Sometimes we do feel so silly about things, but I would've been alarmed too, to see her hand on his leg! Did she have an explanation for that? I guess some times close friends do that but I know me, with my jealous streak, would've been upset. Anyway, good to hear it worked out!

from theflyingrat :

I'm so glad that everything went well and it's okay to have the feelings that you've had. You SHOULD NOT feel stupid for loving your husband and wanting to protect your marriage. It was great of Angie to bring a bathing suit and I'm glad that you went and had a good time. ♥

from missdahling :

It's so hard to trust people, but sometimes you can't read into it too much; you just have to do it. That's what you did and I'm glad. I'm also glad you told Angie what was bothering you. If it were me, I probably would have told her that nothing was wrong, let everything build up, blah, blah....but you were brave enough not to handle things that way. I'm so glad you had a nice time. It sounded like fun. Also, regarding your most recent public entry, you need to see a doctor. Don't let it go...please.

from beckers-j :

Aw, I'm so glad that you worked things out with Angie. I think it was natural for you to be suspicious after the things you and Eric have already been through, and you did the perfect thing in talking to her about it. I'm so glad it wasn't what you were thinking. :) Send me a pic of the suit. I'm having trouble imagining what it might look like, and I'm curious since I probably wouldn't wear it myself. :)

from beckers-j :

I agree that Angie is being completely inappropriate. Knowing what you went through with K should make her more respectful of your marriage and feelings, but that doesn't seem to be the case. You should tell Eric your feelings and let him know that him spending so much time with her and/or talking to her is making you uncomfortable. You also might want to mention it to Angie in a round about way. If she's really your friend and has your best interests at heart, then she'll understand your concern after the other shit you've gone through recently.

from inscrutably :

Clarity I totally agree with theflyingrat's comment. If you already know that she's flirting with him why throw more gas on the fire by going out and drinking (which tends to make things worse at times like those) and knowing she's gonna get naked. I'd say don't go and just be safe. Go have fun just you and your husband spend some romantic time together and do something! You have to protect your marriage and some people out there are just ready to ruin other people's happiness just because of jealousy or envy of what you guys have.

from vla :

I don't think you're being irrational. Maybe just let Eric read this entry?

from goingloopy :

Clarity, in this case...I don't think you're being terribly irrational. I don't think Eric would do anything. The point is that her even trying is a betrayal of your friendship. I have very strong feelings on this subject, but that's just a line you don't cross. K shouldn't have crossed it, and Angie shouldn't either. Don't get too drunk...that will make it worse. And definitely talk to Eric about it.

from danddteacher :

Talk to Eric about it. She's making you uncomfortable. You know she's flirting with him. He may not know this. You should definitely talk to him about the whole thing, including your insecurities. If anything he'll be more understanding considering the whole K thing. I hope the weekend ends up being a good one...

from heelandlass :

I think she's being out of order too, especially because she helped you through the situation with K. Go and get a lovely bikini or swim suit and wear it as you would have normally Clarity. Who cares if she's naked, she's going to look naked and stupid while you've got a hot bikini on, so don't worry about it. xxx

from portia12 :

Sorry I got her confused with Jeanette. As for being naked, there's nothing wrong with you being naked there. If she's going to be naked fine, but don't be comparing yourselves, that's the worst for your self esteem. I go to the strippers with my bf, I admire their bodies, but I know he loves me the way I am, so I don't eat myself up about it.

from portia12 :

I'm just wondering where Angie's husband is? Did you mention she was married now?

from alwaysinhim :

Yeah, I'd have to say that there is a glaring lack of respect for you, as her friend, and your marriage. Perhaps, you should take her aside and talk to her in private, and then if she persists, talk to your husband as well.

from krugerpak007 :

Hi dear. I have to agree with everyone down here...that is TOTALLY inappropriate behavior. Going to spend 7 hours with him, calling and talking to HIM and not even asking to talk to you..and talking for an hour! The hand on the leg! WTF? I would definitely talk to Eric about how you are feeling. You know he is crazy about you and would hate for you to be feeling bad. But I think that she has to be stopped.Take care honey, try and enjoy yourself anyway and talk to him. xoxox Kathy

from thekirks :

That would definitely bother me! Especially the way she moved her hand away as soon as she saw you! I would maybe give the situation one more chance but that would be it, before saying something to one of them. Good luck hon!

from theflyingrat :

If one of my friends had done that to Kent, I would have said something. Right then. It's disrespectful and I think that would hold true. No matter WHAT country you're in. I think part of your insecurity might be coming from the situation with K. After all, he was Eric's best friend and look what happened. So now you are (rightly so) wondering if one of your friends could do that to you. The thing is, every woman in the world could want your husband. And it wouldn't matter. Because he only wants you. I understand that you're upset (and I would be furious myself!) but it's probably not even that she really wants Eric except that she can't have him, she is probably jealous that you've got someone so wonderful and she doesn't. (And honestly, how many men are as great as Eric?) Do you know what I mean? I get annoyed if Kent ogles women on tv too much (not that he does haha). I certainly wouldn't want him around any other naked women in real life. In fact if one of my friends said "let's go skinnydipping with your husband and hey, let's bring alcohol" I'd tell her to go to hell. Anyway, you should share these insecurities with Eric. He's a good guy and I'm sure he'll know where you're coming from (as he was in a similar place not too long ago!). Good luck with this and I hope you have fun tomorrow, whatever you decide! ♥

from meine-kleine :

Alright, well. Me = German. That = inappropriate behavior no matter where you are. Period, end. You're not weird for not wanting to get naked, either, not all Europeans are so open. Me, for example. But honestly... you're not over-reacting. She's being a bad friend by acting that way, honestly.

from coldandgray :

Ack! You are not being paranoid, that is for sure inappropriate behavior. It does not sound innocent to me. Why does she have to be nude? Are others going to be nude? Good luck, Clarity.

from milomilo2 :

I don't know why but sometimes your private diary doesn't ask for a username or password when I hit the "private link" from your main journal. I use Firefox and it may store this information -- I don't know. But, I thought you would like to know.

from goingloopy :

I'm a freak, but I always feel sexy and powerful in naughty lingerie...and I don't believe I've ever been with anyone who didn't appreciate it. I'm glad Eric liked your new outfit...and I think it's awesome that you guys are always trying to keep things fresh. ;) Go girl!

from missdahling :

So glad you and Eric had a great night. I knew that you would!

from beckers-j :

Yay! That's awesome! :)

from vla :

awesome, clarity! I would have been nervous too!!

from thehoneypot :

it had to be wonderful to make his eyes bulge.. *smile*

from krugerpak007 :

Sounds like a great night. It's wonderful to feel that passion, I hope it never fades for you guys too. I am glad you had such a good night. We do have too many hang ups! I am even embarrassed to buy condoms. And as you say, everyone has sex, why the hell should I be embarrassed? :-) xoxox

from la-blue-eyez :

Sounds like a perfect night! Yay!!!

from thekirks :

yay yay yay! So glad it worked out for you two:)

from theflyingrat :

I'm jealous, haha. Once again. :) I'd never have the guts to wear anything like that. Of course I've got a kid, so you know. I'd get all wriggled into it, step into the bedroom with Kent and he'd wake up (the boy, not Kent haha). Eww, nightmare. I'm glad you did it and you had fun with it. You deserve to feel sexy in an un-hookerish kind of way. ;) Have a good week! ♥

from coldandgray :

Awesome

from thehoneypot :

the corset would open my eyes wide and the word "WOW" would come from my lips

from singlegirl :

Whenever I wear sexy lingerie for Jeremy, I usually have it on underneath my regular clothes. It's fun to wear it out to a bar or dancing...it makes you feel sexier and it's fun to have a secret that he doens't know about. Then, when you get home, simply undress while he's watching you. From now on, he'll always be wondering what you have on under your clothes :)

from krugerpak007 :

I say, great that you bought it. It's great to see how you and Eric's marriage is so alive and exciting. It always makes me feel so good! Um, when to wear it? I guess I would put it on after my shower and just walk in to the room with it. But I am boring like that...Just enjoy and have fun! Thats the important thing! xoxox

from portia12 :

And as for Eric's reaction last time...A few days before you wear it, maybe have a little casual chat with him about sexy clothes, and how it makes you feel sexy to wear it. A woman can wear sexy clothes for herself as much as for her man.

from portia12 :

It's all about confidence. I was thinking about this. Now when Eric says you are beautiful, you have to take the compliment and believe it yourself. My bf says that if someone compliments me or says that they can do something for me and I say "no, you don't have to", it is annoying to people. Sometimes you have to accept that people are seriously complimenting you or wanting to do nice things for you. As for the lingerie, I bought something similar when my bf was leaving for a trip to Europe. I wanted him to remember me before he went, so I bought sexy stuff. Basically he just lay on the bed, with the lights a little dim, then I came out seductively. I moved around the bed, giving him a good view at every angle, very slowly and teasingly. You have to believe you are a sexy siren. Men love visuals. Even if a person is not perfect, the sexiness is in the confidence you portray. A person with a perfect figure is not sexy if they don't portray confidence. The hard part was buying the thing, now just enjoy, it's the fun part!

from milomilo2 :

This story brought back a pleasant memory! For two weeks, a present for me was spoken about in a round about way. She, too, struggled as to how to unveil the present. Although I had an inkling of an idea what was in store, I played dumb, an easy task, because she was cute in hiding her insecurities and finding the right time. I laughed because what I had in mind was vastly racier than what stood in front of me wearing of what appeared to be a figure skater�s costume. In comparison, even �grandma underwear� would be slutty to what she wore that night. It�s all in your head. Go for it � and don�t forget to write about the details because we�re perverts. My question is: when it�s revealed, usually its on the floor shortly after, if not instantly. What is a woman�s perspective as to how long should a guy take before unwrapping the present? What are your expectations?

from thekirks :

ok..I used to manage an adult bookstore:) I think what you picked out is tasteful. I think you should just be yourself, no staging. No extravagant show. I think he will like it. Let us know how it goes!

from inscrutably :

hahaha, that's so cute! my husband's always trying to get me to buy one but I don't want to because I feel embarrased. I say go for it. Surprise him! :) that's what my husband always tells me "surprise me"

from cherrypigrl :

First, I'll say I'm glad your back at diaryland, and laying down some rules for the idiots :) and as for how can I have not seen the new Star Wars and be a sci-fi fan, I rarely go to movies, hence me just now seeing closer and lost and translation. I've usually got my nose stuck in a book. As for the "special outfit"! I have been in those stores before, several times and I always feel like you did, and I've bought stuff like that as well. Just put it on and suprise him, if he laughs (which he shouldn't) tell him that it upsets you becuase you wanted to look special for him. I'm sure you'll find out he didn't want to upset you, he was just suprised. Good luck!

from missdahling :

wear it! Eric will love it. You guys will def. have fun.

from heelandlass :

p.s - I think that anybody can read your notes without having the password... is that right?

from heelandlass :

Being an old married wifey like you I understand completely (see my last email for uncanny similarities!). If I were you I would either a) wear it under your normal clothes when you go out with Eric for a great night out just the 2 of you. When you get home, get a bit hot and steamy and let him see little bits of it, that way you can test his reaction without exposing yourself completely OR when you've had a great night regardless, wait till you're going to bed, wait till he's in another room, change into it and jump into bed. A subtle introduction for a not so subtle piece of lingerie works a treat I think! Well done you though! I am very impressed. Definitely use it, whichever way you feel best. I am giving you a big grin and a thumbs up! And I'll make a deal with you - if you do yours, I'll do mine!! xxx

from orlith :

I think he would love it... but I'm no help in the advice department as to whether or not you should show it to him first... or just appear in it. I would suggest maybe hinting that you bought a sexy surpise... who knows? Very glad to see that you're back. I hope the hiatus was helpful. Cheers to you...

from f-girl :

wow. i have never done anything like that. i know shane would like it and i always wish i had the nerve. i say do it for sure. maybe suprise him one night and just come out wearing it!

from beckers-j :

Wow, you've got some balls wearing that thing in public in a porn shop. :) WEAR IT FOR ERIC! He'll be drooling.

from krugerpak007 :

I really hope that you are doing ok. Just wanted to let you know that you are missed. I keep checking your private for an update.:-( Take care of yourself and just be happy. xoxox

from lettynow :

I came to your private because you haven't updated and your lie my morning news paper and cup of coffee.. So much has gone on!!! I hope colleen is feeling better or starts to but you are all in my thoughts. WEll I understand the whole not wanted to do the online journal thing.. But for every asshole who leaves you negative comments there are like a million of us who love you!!! YOur so awesome and now your not only an artist but a model :) You fucking hottie!! WEll Im thinking of you and come back.... And for the record I didnt know it was you but im retarded!!! (the sketch) I knew the photo was you! Peace!! ANd did you see German whooped mexicos Ass those Damn germans!!! ViVa MExico!!! Con mucho amor Leticia!!!

from tigerlily21 :

I can't believe that someone would even say that to you. I think your picture is absolutely beautiful and it expresses the love and passion that you have in your life. The dumbass must be jealous because they don't have anything so great. I can understand why you would stop writing, but I hope its not for very long. I know that the comments are great, but maybe you should go back to only having d-land notes that way you KNOW who is writing you and there isn't anyway around it. Hope Colleen is feeling better after surgery, my thoughts and prayers are with you both. *hugs* Jen

from missdahling :

I wish you wouldn't take a break from writing, but I guess you have to. It sucks that someone had to ruin it for you. Hopefully you'll be back. I'll be thinking about you and your friend Colleen too. Take care

from timespace :

I am sorry about the news of Colleen. Also, that person who wrote the awful comment sounds jeolous. And an update on my friend's situation, he finally decided to admit the rumor was true, after flat out denying it over and over. I don't want to deal with it anymore. The world is nutty sometimes.

from vla :

My guess is that those of us who write here in DL or elsewhere would never lash out on someone else's diary, because we know what it feels like to be exposed and vulnerable in writing online. I'm so sorry you were attacked like that again, Clarity. I can't really ask you to stay and to keep writing, but I hope that the support, encouragement and love you receive here outweighs this bad shit. You and Colleen are in my thoughts. Take care!

from meine-kleine :

I can't get over that, either. My Opa would have me stoned if he knew, hahahaha.

from meine-kleine :

Uh, nicht du. dir. THAT WAS A TYPO. I promise. Uuuugh.

from meine-kleine :

Don't stay away for long, Clarity, we love you like whoa. (Note: America has made me rusty. I shame my first language. *hangs head*) Uebrigens, ich bin sehr muede und probiere trotzdem mal fuer dich auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Da kannst du sehen das ich dich wirklich mag, haha. Mach dir keine sorgen um diese Arschloecher, Suesse, sie kennen dich nicht und sie wuerden so etwas nie sagen wenn sie sich nicht hinter einen Computer verstecken koennten. Sie sind Feiglinge, und sie koennen einer wunderbaren Person wie du nie etwas anhaben.

from thekirks :

well, i hope you don't stay away too long hon, I will miss your entries and pictures both! so glad things were patched up with k.

from f-girl :

i wrote you a little email b/c i had an idea i thought maybe shouldn't be posted publicly. anyway, i want you to also know i really love reading your diary and look forward to your updates. your diary is super cool :o) and your art amazing. please don't goooooooo! (that person is an ASS!)

from dawnoftheday :

Whoever left that comment is a huge bitch! Disregard it, it's not even worth getting upset over. I hope you don't shut down. I look forward to your updates, it gets me through the week. I hope Colleen heals from the surgery okay and gets better soon.

from la-blue-eyez :

Just wanted to let you know that I've emailed you. I didn't know if you automatically checked your diaryland email or not?

from claritynew :

I copied and pasted my notes into a word document, saved them and then deleted them from this area. Since this is a locked diary with a public note page. I'll be doing this every so often just to protect my privacy. I really appreciate all the helpful notes everyone has left me and they mean so much to me. It will just be necessary for me to clear this once and a while, as a precaution. Don't be concerned when I do this, it's not because anyone said anything wrong or I was offended in anyway. :)

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