DiaryLand members area

just a hello out of the blue cuz i remember enjoying your writing... i write elsewhere these days, seldom here, but still, the whole writing online thing, it turns me on :) hope you are enjoying life, mischief, and fun :)

from athenyx :

:-) If you have a zoo or an animal park near you, go there. A zoo is the best place to be when you're sad. Or you could watch really sad movies until you crack - that always works too x

from athenyx :

I meant to write this 71 days ago when you first made the entry, but my head is sometimes in the clouds! Mostly it was j that made me smile - that one makes me so happy. But a,e,f,h,k,m,o,p,q (definately q!),w & x are all pretty fantastic in their own way *grins* p.s: You write beautifully.

from narami :

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's Somewhere Over The Rainbow... that's the song that I play in my mind when I dream of love. :o) Be good dear Crayon. Gosh, I do hope you are getting these...

from stormysky :

It's just a dream. Move on with your life. Sorry, that's all I've got for you.

from kate-san :

I had dreams like that, too. For years and years and years. It has FINALLY gotten to the point where, when I dream about my ex, he is just an old friend, and I don't ache for him or for us anymore. It helped when I realized that he was no longer the man I knew and that I was in love with my memory of him.

from panon-sequel :

Dreams are just dreams. They don't mean anything until we make them mean something.

from bebelua :

i'm still here. and i can't really tell you that you're being ridiculous, but i CAN tell you that i understand completely what you're feeling. i dreamed about my ex for years. and years. decades, if you can believe it. if i'm being honest, i'll say that i still sometimes have those "we're back together" dreams. and they're painful and amazing all at the same time. i wake up with an ache in my chest and a sense of wonder at what could have been. but here's what else you need to know: letting go of the past is an awakening. it's like seeing the sunshine for the first time and realizing how beautiful it is. when i really let go of him, i finally really understood how awesome my life is. i will always love him. i really will. but my life is not about him right now. it's about my amazing husband (yes! i found and fell in love with someone else and boy howdy am i glad i let go of the past so i could make room for him!), and our life and our dreams and our home and he knows about my past and he knows that i have these empty spots in my heart that i sometimes run across because my ex left a void there. but he's okay with it. they make me me. and he loves me because of who i am and what i've been through and who i've loved and how i've lived. and i love him because he's exactly who i want and need and no matter how much i will always love my ex, he will never be that for me. you are not ridiculous. you are just still waking up. you'll get there. promise.

from bebelua :

seeing your words made my morning happier.

from narami :

Hello Crayon! Hi. It's been years. Please don't think I'm insane, but I've missed your words. You might not remember me, but I have something to say. Again, I've done this before too. On March 14, 2006 at 12:32am to be exact. Or to freak you out. I wandered over to diaryland today for some reason and ... I'll try to start at the beginning and make it short: I've been writing an entry (I still write elswhere) for about three months about how I've been feeling. Basically, I whine everyday because I wish I had a boy I could sing Bob Marley songs to softly before sleeping. I say that with a lot more sentences. My point in that entry is that I'm tired, that I've given up, that I have no hope for love anymore. People around me can't see this, my friends don't get tired of telling me to wait, that this boy I've been waiting for is coming because I deserve it, oh, "if anyone deserves to be happy it's you" if I had a penny for every time I've heard that one. I don't think I deserve it. Not at all. And I appreciate all good intentions behind encouraging words but, I can't believe it. And tonight I read you again. You have made me contradict myself because what I want to tell you is: if someone deserves to be happy, it is you. I believe that. I don't know if you've found the girl or not, but if you haven't I want you to know, she'll come. Have the best weekend. [email protected] PD I've been reading you now for about 8 or 9 years... almost a decade... wow.

from bebelua :

happy birthday a day late. i am still here, still reading. still hoping and wishing things for you.

from animejournal :

LOL your journal is so interesting. I like that you are bold and don't hold your deepest desires back.

from thisisjohn :

it gets easier

from endline :

...so I randomly looked at your diary today (after realizing, like the person below me, that I have been reading you for so many years I can't even put a number on it anymore...) and it occurred to me that I had missed a lot in the last few months. This is not going to be as beautiful or amazing as I'd like it to be, but: Since the first entry of yours I have ever read, I have been basically in love with whatever portion of you is presented in your diary. I say love because I don't know what other word would be more appropriate. All I know is that when I read the things your write here, I am inspired and my heart is warmed, that I'm impressed and it makes me wish I knew you in real life. If this window into your life or who you are is any indication, and I think that it is, I think you're probably more than "a decent catch," as you've said in past entries. Don't sell yourself short.

from dandydandy :

A thought popped in my head the other day that had you attached to it somehow. And I come here now and see what I've been missing. I'm sad for you, but not very surprised. A girl from another time haunts you and I dunno...it seems as though you were settling. Isn't it weird that I've been reading you for nearly 7 years? Where does the time go?

from badgergirl :

<3 You are part of the proof of real men. xx

from animejournal :

lol you're funny! I love your latest entry. I really think you're cool and will give some woman a good man. Keep being you!

from mariastuart :

We don't know each other but I must have been reading your diary for years, for a very long time. Oh, this is sad, so sad. I've always admired you for being you. I've sometimes thought "do men like this exist in the real world?". I mean, you seem a really nice person and I'm sad this is happening to you. Sometimes live is not fun and unfair. Let me send you a hug from over the ocean...

from endline :

If trying to date a "woman" is as difficult as trying to date a "man," I wish you luck, friend. I'm having a hell of a time of it. :/

from lasthnstlook :

Crayon... That poem was positively gorgeous.

from christagaban :

hello. my name is chris (obviously). i'm looking for new friends. i haven't used diaryland in like...years so in the meantime i was hoping (if you're interested) you could maybe add me on myspace if you want? myspace.com/christagaban

from starsaway :

i was home alone tonight. i found myself listening to exceptionally sad music in the dark and just wanted to embrace the introspective feeling i was having. i got a little homesick for my old life and my younger years. and on the internet that of course led me to your diary. i read and read and read and it feels like old times. still moves me almost to tears like it always did. i can't tell you how nice it is to find you still here everytime i need you to be. thank you for still writing.

from dandydandy :

I wish you would name the kitten "Puppy." I just think that's the funniest name for a cat in the world.

from dandydandy :

You're pretty fly.

from endline :

You know, I am currently having a love affair with the South for these exact reasons. I mean, I have never been to much of the South (TN, the Carolinas, and obviously KY, which doesn't really count) because I'm taking a class about the American South and how this image of the South was created..... I think it seems terribly romantic and infectious, in some way or another. Also, every time I forget how much I love reading your diary, you update...and I'm like "Goddamn." I love how you write, kiddo.

from dandydandy :

Yesterday I was out working in the yard and the elderly woman who lives across the street came over to me, pushing her walker on wheels. She said to me, "You need to visit me. I'm all alone and retired and I get lonely." Now there's a woman who knows how to tell ya exactly what she wants. Only, it made me miss my own grandma and she lives closer to you than me so, yeah. Too far to visit often.

from dandydandy :

By the way, that photo on your diary is some kind of crazy hilarious all american art.

from dandydandy :

I dunno. I like cottage cheese because it gives it a creamy texture and it tastes different. I add cotto salami too. It's just a different flavor and slightly diff. texture. It doesn't hold together as well as ricotta tho. Now, Claudia says she thinks cottage cheese is gross for lasagne, so it isn't for everyone I guess.

from narami :

loved it. the short and the funny pic :o)

from narami :

Straw :o)

from dandydandy :

A cup of coffee.

from dandydandy :

You have to talk to her. You might have to try and figure out a way to cry a little bit when you talk to her about how much you need her help. And then ask her what she needs from you so that it's clear you understand it is a two way street. There's nothing wrong AT ALL with wanting her to help shoulder the burden either financially or at home. That's what it's about! Don't try to do it all, you'll only grow bitter and resentful. It might not be for ten more years, but eventually, you'll get mean about it. So figure it out now and TALK to her. Don't gloss over it or say: Oh, it's not that big of a deal. Because it is a big deal. It's HUGE. So go. Now. Talk. I was kinda kidding about the crying.

from mariastuart :

This last entry touched my heart. Beautiful words.

from dandydandy :

She's just as much part of the problem as he is. They are both to blame. She doesn't need a friend so much as she needs someone to be a part of the drama. I'm not judging her or saying she is a bad person...some people just need that kind of emotional high. It's like substance abuse--it is bad for you, but people still get addicted. So now you have a dilemma because you can't ignore texts like you received because that's being a bad friend. But if you respond, again and again it will be wasted energy. I'm probably annoying given the fact that I don't know these people. I'm just sayin'.

from dandydandy :

I KNEW it! Gah, all this time you sit there all innocent, gaining my trust and waiting for me to let my guard down. Well Mr. NCSBN police, you haven't heard the last from me! Also? Happy Valentine's Day.

from just-m :

I don't come to diaryland much anymore. I've been cheating on it with Livejournal. But when I do come here, it's mostly to read you. I've been reading your diary for years, and I love reading about how your life progresses...I love the way you write. And I wanted to thank you for your entry about Kim. I'm dealing with one hell of a heartbreak just now, and it was soothing to read that entry...to read the line about how it all works out for the best. I cling to that lately. Everything works out for the best. Thank you.

from endline :

uhm. i realize this is probably not that helpful. but your friend needs to run like hell. because, honestly, he is probably going to end up hurting her (have you asked her if he has already? not to be a dick or scare you or anything, but.... he seems really creepy), and then it will be even harder for her to leave. shit like this terrifies me, and I think that you just need to talk to her. and if she does end up leaving him, she needs to seriously look into a restraining order. i'm sorry. god that shit is scary. and sucks.

from dandydandy :

It sounds like maybe you live with my kids. I am just about to blog on mess. Stay tune, it's going to be an all time exciting entry. Heh. When I was married I was known to go ballistic about once a year on how no one helped me with the housework. Once, I went on a vacation to Texas by myself and came home to a filthy kitchen. "Oh-ho!" Josh said. "Check out the medicine cabinet!" Yeah. Priorities? Not so much.

from endline :

i think a zombie outbreak could absolutely be contained, if the people who find out in the beginning (ie: apparently only me and you) are smart enough to realize that they aren't riots, IT'S ZOMBIE OUTBREAK. this is my only real problem with zombie movies, they always act like the movie world is exactly like ours EXCEPT that they have never seen a zombie movie. if it could be contained, we would win..... but what fun is that? i am looking forward to fighting the good fight, honestly. and, i'm not sure that i condone using the a-bomb. for any reason.

from dandydandy :

My suggestion is to write them a letter riddled with humor so that you get your point across without making a tense neighbor situation. If that doesn't work, contact management and ask them for advice or to intervene on your behalf.

from endline :

the fountain in town square. two blocks from my house, easy to get anywhere from. it is also my predetermined place to give speeches from, after i take over the rebellion and have to explain to others how to fight the zombies and survive nuclear attacks. yeah.

from endline :

i will have you know that i have always had a plan in the event of zombie outbreak. and nuclear holocaust. it never hurts to be prepared.

from dandydandy :

Hey Crayon, I was going to leave you a note saying something positive about updates, but now somehow it feels a bit redundant. Huh. Anyhow, I still love you to pieces so feel free to say hi anytime.

from dandydandy :

Hooray for updates!

from dandydandy :

Just thought I'd drop in and say hello. So, hello!

from stepfordtart :

you're a nice person. s x

from freefalling :

We all have our own shit. You've done equally well in dealing, I think. Yay for random reassurance, hey?

from freefalling :

like 30's +. That's not meant to be an insult. I hope it's not so. You've just always been DOING things, knowing things, and growing up all the while. I feel that my growth and development - mentally/emotionally - has been stunted. I just can't comprehend that you're my age. I turn 24 in 11 days (it's the 13th here at the moment, so I'm only telling the truth while you take that into context. If wherever you are isn't the 13, I'm lying. Ok. I'ts 1:42am. I slept just 3 hours last night. let's see if I can do better tonight.

from lifefan :

nice to see that youre writing on a more regular basis now. i enjoy your writings. :)

from lifefan :

Crayon, read between the lines in my entry. you'll read that i am not trying to insult you in any way, but just rambling on about possible thoughts. Its human nature. I bet if you read my entries, you would think all kinds of things about me that are possibly not true. Truly, I enjoy reading your entries and I think about you and your situation often. I hope the best for you. Maybe, in someone else's eyes, i am a deranged lunatic for reading your entries and feeding off of them and thinking about someone I have no idea who they are. :) Oh hell, we're all deranged lunatics trying to live like normal people right? :) No insult intended and I apologize you took it that way. I hope theres no hard feelings. Enjoy life crayon, you got alot of it left to live! :)

from karmacops :

it's like me this time last year... I certainly empathize with your situation. May 2006 be a wonderful year for you. :)

from bludragnfly :

12/21/05: I've found your diary just today and wanted to let you know that your writing is eloquent. My heart aches for what you are experiencing right now. I have felt what you are feeling. It will hurt for a while; but you will emerge stronger and more resilient than you could have imagined...

from starsaway :

you okay crayon? password protected makes me sad. :-(

from red-rapture :

Please, oh, Please can I have a password? My day is a bit empty without your random thoughts. My email is [email protected]

from bertha45 :

it's me, little old me, and i can no longer read your entries as it asks for some password. i'm thinkin of you.

from xredstarsx :

hey I was wondering if I could have the password. I really like your diary. You are a great writer. Thanks. -R

from alwaysinhim :

I see you've updated again, but I don't know if my email got through to you.

from findingsami :

I've been reading your diary for a while now and I just wanted to tell you that you are an extrodanry writer. I hope you know your talent.

from after1990 :

Where do you live? Hey check out my diary

from sisterbert :

There's a Dave Sedaris essay that reminds me of your rude-movie goers rant. I try to go to movies late in their release time, early in the day, in the middle of the week, just to avoid seeing them in the presence of my fellow Americans. Common courtesy seems to be a luxury of the past, sadly. I know exactly what you're talking about. Thank you for speaking to that man, other then doing what I normally do, which is to silently loathe.

from sweethoney03 :

oh i have one for you!! i work at a pizza place/restaurant answering phones for deliveries and pick ups. And people, KNOW what you want or at least have some sort of idea when you call... it is SO annoying to sit there and wait for you to make up your mind. Not to mention the OTHER phone calls we have to attend to. Hahaa the rant brought out some in me too !!

from calico-jack :

i like you muchly. you make me smile-smile and that means you are gifted and sweet like sparkly coloured candy. :D and of course, my apporval is all you have been looking for your whole life so i say "WELL DONE! continue being you!"

from opopopo :

the gelatinous millings about of an introverted leg gesture bouncing a feeble pouch of delightfulness compare to the beauty and un-skewer-likeness of your diary.

from sign-devine :

I slipped upon your diary, and you are simply amazing. utterly, completely amazing. your writing gets to me in a way unexplainable. you communicate so well. you should be a god ♥

from dreamfire27 :

So I've been reading your Diary for some time now and I think you are an amazing writer and have a very beautiful soul. But there is one thing that bothers me every time I read your entries...you never let Emily KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. Sure you say you talk almost every night and that you say things to her like I miss you but you don't ever seem to say the things that you write down. I assume this because there is no way she wouldn't be with you if you had expressed yourself to her the way you write it down. I'm just suggesting you take a leap of faith and go for it all. You only live once and if she is that important to you then you owe it to yourself and her to let it all out. If nothing else, let her read it herself by giving her your diary address. I think it's worth everything for you if you would do it.

from alwaysinhim :

NONONONONO!!! Sorry, I meant that it is NOT your fault. and can't be helped.

from starsaway :

I'm glad you are going to the doctor. I always try to justify not going too, but inside you know it is the right thing to do. Broken crayons aren't nearly as fun to play with.

from alwaysinhim :

(sorry about the two entries in the guestbook. I thought it hadn't gotten through the first time) -Dragoness

from cerium :

Was surfing the net when I stumbled across your diary. The language is beautiful and makes me think. Thank you for activating my brain again.

from rainforme :

naked time, heh.

from puccapeach :

i like your new layout... wow I feel like a bitter!!!! But some how I wonder if that is you and emily in the car. Cut drawering did you do it your self??? Well umm gotta go write in my own diary!

from golfwidow :

I like your new layout.

from epiphany1492 :

you write the things i think about the person i wish i was with. how do you do it? it made me cry.

from jeanied :

When you don't write I find myself wondering what you could be up to...I don't have a name so of course I think crayon, what is crayon doing? I'm not sure when I started doing it but I do and I thought you might like to know. I come on here to read you and most times only you.

from jeanied :

from tropicalmist :

YOU have the most beautiful words I have ever read. *embraces you *

from neangel :

my most sincere apologies for making such an assumption, no hard feelings? Happy Birthday!

from puccapeach :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

from tone-silent :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

from pd12 :

so you have no favorites thats cool to, email me at [email protected]

from puccapeach :

You could always send her a note writen in crayon. Do you like me circle yes or no. LoL

from puccapeach :

Don't forget to eat because it isn't important. So your stomach isn't all growly during your dance!! LOL

from keeds :

hi. write back.

from ducker47 :

Why wouldn't she like you?

from puccapeach :

She didn�t say it sarcastically? I would take as a possible flirt. Most girls would just ring you up in my opinion with out saying anything about how you look. But I think that she was trying to start a conversation with you or she wanted you to buy more shoes.

from puccapeach :

I found this kind of funny, but I'm smiling, and I can't stop! Just because you wrote "smile for me. especially you in the red." And I'm wearing red! =^_^=

from puccapeach :

Your screen name had peeked an interest. I have to say, I love your layout. It reminds me of being a kid again. And your writing is absolutely wonderful. You have a way of bring your words to reality for the person who is reading it.

from luciyen :

you are so interesting and write so beautifully (:

from neuroticaa :

i think i could like you ;)

from natinski :

*warm big hug* Hang in there.

from lostflame :

well, you sound beautiful. cant we just pretend that i said something amazing..

from jaxzimmy :

I just started reading your diary tonight...you seem like such a nice guy, and your writing is amazing...I am deeply impressed - JAx

from iceanjwel :

Damn, I'd fall for a guy who would finger paint with me and make me feel 3 again...good idea.

from mickey4 :

You are an amazing writer. Don't ever doubt yourself. I think that's one of the hardest things in life...being able to see the strengths in yourself...it's always so easy to tell someone else how amazing they are but, it's hard to tell yourself that you are too an amazing person. I just wanted to let you know that whether you believe it or not you ARE amazing...

from britney17 :

Your entries hit all too close to home. Chick I may be, but we all go through tribulations and the heartache we knew we'd journey through. I am just starting this diary thing, but already, there are a lifetime full of words needing to write, needing to escape my mind. I admire you. Stick in there. :o)

from idlejewels :

I would consider that last entry you wrote.. quite close to a love poem.. your feelings come alive on the page.. I cant explain it.. I like =)

from atlasgirl :

re: sometimes its not just wanted to reassure you that everything will work out. luv, atlasgirl (a fellow friend who had a rough time being accepted by mr.atlas's family - eventually i was, and they love me now. incidentally, his mom now cooks veggie food especially for me too)

from britneypink :

you have to be the best all time writer in Diaryland. and everyday it shows.

from hotsummer :

whoo! ur writing is amazing....

from neangel :

Words nudgingly wring tears from my heart, prying my soul from its deep dark chasm I call loneliness. Fill in the lines of life with the colours of your own world. Make it as beautiful as you desire. I will continue to writhe in its splendour.

from justbeingme :

Hey, ya I think I'm becoming a vegitarian... everything repulses me now, I feel so bad. My mom says it's phase... I don't think so. Anyways, I love your diary.

from peoplesuck88 :

Hey I came upon your stuff by accident and I gotta say...its like poetry.Your girlfriend has got to love your writings about her. There all beautiful. I will be back for more. It's very impressive writing.

from jt7dreamz :

you are awesome! i stumbled on your diary completely by random... love love love will be back for more

from blinkgirl178 :

thats really sweet about you and your girlfriend, i dont know why i cant find a nice guy like that.

from kstarr :

crayola.com! your background! your name makes me salivate - and therefore you have become a fun kid, automatic-like. so keep it up! xox.

from belladonna- :

Like I said when I added you to my favorites list. I have fallen in love. With your words, with your life. I am so easily attached, I know! It's just that I do wish someone would write about me the way you write about Kim. I love it. I love all of it.

from savvy212 :

hm. kind of like harold and the purple crayon....only green.

from stary-night :

I just started reading your diary and I look forward to reading more. You sound like a really nice guy.

from forsakenstar :

I am a bit confused, but perhaps that's as it should be. I got the lik to your diary from cwegga, and I think foxinsocks has you listed too. And you write about a Kim and a Stephanie in the last couple entries and I'm wondering if I know you at all, because we(my friend's and I) all know a Kim, and I am the/a Stephanie. Although its rather illogical and you probably think I'm pyscho, it might actually be true. Check my diary out, and if you think you might know me, or not, leave me a note. Thanks!! ~Forsaken Star aka Stephanie

from inimitable :

i hope you're okay. i really hope so.

from marzipan1026 :

I love your diary...Makes me feel very wistful and melancholy (which is kind of the theme of my life)

from pleasureable :

Great diary. (: I love rain...maybe I'm just weird. lol...keep up the great work.

from goodnitemoon :

crayon, I still love you.

from xtars :

love the pics!!!!! especially the burning house (not the it's good tha tit burnt, but you sure did get a good shot!)

from shutupmom :

ITS BEEN AWHILE CHUMP. IF YOU COME VISIT ME, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT GREEN AND BLUE YO-YO...... MMMMMM...YYYOOOOOOOO-YYYOOOOOOOO

from cmyk :

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I can't even imagine. It's awful. I wish I had some comforting words to say....

from savvy212 :

every day i come to work and log on and hope that you have written something new. you make remember to love people.

from youturned :

You are so amazingly beautiful.

from boyrepellant :

i enjoyed your diary immensely--too bad you do not have AIM working, i would be interested in talking to you. Please check out my journal and let me know what you think!

from meganlala :

i'm on a guestbook/note signing rampage. excuse me. i miss the frog kissing entries though. but this all sounds much less slimey....

from exophthalmia :

i wish i were you.

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