messages to dbfeb:
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from imalex :
Just found your diary randomly. I can relate. Christmas just doesn't hold the same charm I used to have. The gifts are never good enough. Everything seems so forced, faked for the sake of occasion. Really, it just seems pointless. Just thought you should know you're not alone in the feeling. But cheer up, it will be over soon!
from badger :
How are things? I think about your comments about being in the closet. I was your age when I finally got tired of lying. Lying came so easy, a first reaction even when unneccessary. And it has taken anther 10 years for courage to develop to a point where I can really be out. Take a small step of courage and let it grow. Shame serves no purpose. I believe we were created as special people with gifts to give. be proud of who you are. you have walked through fires most people would cower from.
from dbfeb :
My cousins would find out and tell my parents.
from non-descript :
Memorial Day Weekend. Question: What's the worst that could happen were you to come out on Facebook?
from non-descript :
I've never been a drinker so I don't know how alcohol makes someone feel better at the end of the day. But if it's something that's bothering you, why not pick up an alternative? Tell me something. What is it that's bothering you deep down in that hidden spot? It can't be the gay thing or being stuck in a rut - unhappiness with those is a symptom of something else. What is it? Damn, I can be pushy at times. Nevermind me.
from non-descript :
Please, please post your pictures with JAB and tell people you've been in a relationship for 15+ years. People - straight, gay, and in-between - need to see that. I need to see that. Please
from non-descript :
I am glad you're back.
from katress :
I'm still here! :) Good luck with the new application...
from tmb :
I can't believe it! A new entry from dbfeb! Good luck with the job application - I hope you get it, too!
from mathero :
I'm writing again. I hope you'll check me out at my new address.. http://mhmlo.diaryland.com
from lycka :
Thinking of you and doing my equivalent of praying! I sincerely hope you get better soon.
from lycka :
I'm sorry you've had a crappy birthday. Buying a new flat was the most stressful thing I've ever done - all the uncertainty and waiting, then sudden rushes of activity before going back to waiting... and waiting... and waiting... A solicitor who couldnt give a shit (and his brainless secretary), the fact that estate agents had the keys for 4 days without contacting me (I had to ring them to see when I'd get them), and so on and so on. I think my worst birthdays were when I was 16 and Mum discovered I'd been to the porn shop in town (and went mental) and then my 17th when she discovered I was seeing my first boyfriend. Much of the 'festivities' happened through gritted teeth.
from mathero :
Have a wonderful Holiday season!
from flying-kiwi :
Well, I guess you could consider it cute...some people might, but I think I must be a prude too! It's like my son calling me "Babe" 'cos he heard his dad say it...it IS cute because they get it so muddled up, but it's still something I stopped and explained to him so he wouldn't say it again!!
from lycka :
Yes apply - it doesn't oblige you to take the job. It's sad that your current one, which you enjoy, doesn't pay enough.
from jhxd :
Apply! Nothing to lose, and it always helps to have options. At the end of the day, you'll make the right decision for you. :)
from lycka :
I, amateur though I am in these things, think it must be a deep-rooted anxiety about plane crashes that the movie originally triggered. Maybe talking about having been a flight attendant, albeit briefly, was the cause of your dream. Once again you've written about what seems to be an ingrained racism that shocks me. It'll never cease to horrify me that some people can judge another by the colour of their skin.
from lycka :
Sometimes time makes the recollection of an event become fuzzy...but your entry has jerked me back to the reality of the whole terrible thing and how it affected so many people. Hope you're OK and that your cousin's wife's plan works. xx
from lycka :
Wow - so glad you're not injured. And sometimes adrenalin can outwit anything you throw at it. Take care!
from jhxd :
Change is a good thing. If you really wanted to stick with Delta and become an instructor, now might be the right time to go for it. Your leaving is an indication of your displeasure with flying and never being given the opportunity to do something different. Your returning may give you the leverage you need to make the final jump. There's no right or wrong at this point, it's good that you've taken some time off to think about things, and it's fine if you continue with or without Delta. I'd say go ahead and explore the chance to get what you want. You've got nothing to lose by trying. We're rooting for you. :)
from tmb :
Congratulations! I hope you feel good about making this decision to resign officially - it seems like a positive one.
from jhxd :
ahahah... i am traveling to san diego for work short term, but trek home to denver every couple weeks.
from flying-kiwi :
If it's pathetic then there are a lot of pathetic people around, including me. It's difficult to find one person that you can show all facets of yourself to. Maybe that's why there are so many journals online.
from tmb :
Hey, it looks like this is working now! I've tried to leave a note twice before and couldn't. Anyway, I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated with work. I guess every job has its good and bad points, as you know, and at least you know that this one is just a step on the way to what you eventually want to do. Maybe you could just use a hug, or a new pair of boots, or ... ;-)
from tmb :
Test
from lycka :
I'm outraged and SO angry on your behalf. How dare he...how fucking dare he! Mnay hugs indeed. xxx
from mathero :
I have locked my diary so if you'd like the user info just email me @ mommyofmia@yahoo.com!
from mathero :
Thanks for the question! It has been answered on my Q&A page.
from mathero :
Thanks for the note! I tend to let my insecurities get the best of me sometimes.
from flying-kiwi :
I have been reading your journal for a bit now and you often write about racism (next to nil experience except in High School when a lot of people thought I was Maori) and I thought of you at work today. I work at a Day Care and I've found that kids tend to tell it as they see it without considering anything much bar themselves. Two boys were fighting over a Duplo figurine who was apparently meant to be dark skinned...the loudest boy said "But I want the chocolate one!" a girl nearby said "Look in this box there are lots of choclate ones". I don't know how you read that, but I couldn't help think of how simply they see things...chocolate people, yum.
from tmb :
Dealing with your airline sounds incredibly frustrating. Can potential employers contact a central personnel office for a recommendation, though? I know in several businesses where friends work it works like that - they will give a reference, but only via the human resource department, not via individual supervisors. I wish you good luck!
from tmb :
Your bedroom looks very nice. I like the sparse, simple, clean style too, and I think you've achieved it. And JAB is probably right that you can rarely duplicate the look of a magazine photo, since in real life there is a certain amount of "stuff" that you just can't avoid having in a room.
from katress :
Hey hon, thanks for your message. Good thoughts are coming your way too!
from bitterwineuk :
I remember that. I saw a bit once on one of our sky tv channels. Think Chis Judd (JLo's ex) won or was favourite but that didn't seem as harsh as the UK version.
from jhxd :
Thanks for the get well message. Worlds apart, it's good to know we have friends a click away.
from mathero :
<3 Thank you.
from mathero :
I'm promoting my diary because I'm bored as hell tonight! =)
from iamhubpluh :
If you are voting AGAINST Bush, check out http://BADNARIK.com he is for stoping the war in Iraq, and NOT sending more troops as Kerry is for (based on his debate answers). Vote your heart, not the less of two evils!
from non-descript :
I always enjoy what you have to say. I envy your style of writing, I really do. Best wishes.
from bitterwineuk :
Thank you for your email. I really appreciated a vote of support. Part of me says try again but I have tried so hard and so many times. It's been a hell of a year but I am on the road to being one of those sharp independent women. I do feel a sense of loss and regret but also a new lease of life and a sense of freedom. Thank you. Becca x.x.x.
from cdives :
I just read your not on Epiphany in Baltimore's diary. I really respect what you have to say.
from lycka :
Thanks for your message! Fortunately the problem is over and my sister should arrive tomorrow afternoon without a hitch. The UK airspace was closed other than for planes about to land for about 40 minutes - it doesn't sound long to many people but obviously with such a swift turn around of flights in and out the knock on effect is still being felt hour and hours later. God knows where she would have been diverted to if the worst had happened - France or Holland? And with a toddler and a 5 year old plus luggage that would have been fun... XXX
from treedancer :
Greetings - arrived here via GayGamer's link. I like your writing style. :)
from diana67 :
Hello, I feel as though I know you. LOL. I enjoy reading your posting - we have alot in common. I just started my own diary on here. I came across your name when I was doing a search on some health issues. Thanks. D.
from mcjesyka :
I'll have to say that I do however, support gay marriages. People can't help their feelings toward another person. Rather it be, same or opposie sex. In my opinion, I really don't have a problem with gay people, whatsoever. Even though, there are people that do. I see it as, you can't help how you feel kind of thing. I haven't always had this view, I used to think that everything "homosexual" related was completely immoral, and wrong. But, being gay, is like being straight, and if being straight isn't a crime, then why can't you be gay? I mean, yes it's against god's will, or whatever, but, no peson on this earth, can help their true feelings toward anyone. I mean, if that were the case, then no one would get away with anything. It's all about feelings.
from jhxd :
"unattainability. the most intense joy lies not in the having, but the desire. the light that never fades, the bliss that is eternal, is only yours when what you most desire is just out of reach."
from jhxd :
not bad, just human. our feelings don't always have an explanation or rationale or place in our web of relationships, they're as arbitrary as a gust of wind in the park.
from katress :
I have you listed as a favorite sweetie! :)
from katress :
10/28 Just stopping in to say hello. I don't think you're being a snob hon. (((hugs)))
from ms-mayhem :
Please do not take this the wrong way. I have not been able to read many of your entries. I think I got all the way back to the "Fuck you ALL, lady" entry. A question that keeps reeling in my mind is if you are secure with who you are as a person. Especially your sexual choices. Now I am not one to judge, because I am the original nut case. But I did enjoy reading your thoughts on issues concerning the nation. ms-mayhem
from koolaid420 :
You obviously don't know me, but I read your diary every time you update. I just want you to know that, everything that you have done, or will do in the near future.. I hope your choices are for you. And no one else. And I think I speak for everyone when I say that life gets tough sometimes but the only thing that you can really do it suck it up and move on, Check out my diary sometime.
from animamea :
just so you know, your guestbook link is not working..you might still be tweaking your site or whatever, but i thought i should mention it anyway..:-) // midlife crisis is a bad term, man! just look at it as it is which is another opportunity for growth. you are growing, wanting to experience things that left you feeling happy, alive and vibrant. many people go back for things already experienced..so, instead of knocking out your senses, keep them up and running, challenge yourself to new things and feel that same vibrancy and aliveness again! god, looking back at what i've written, it seems like i've been possessed by some life motivational speaker. LOL!
from animamea :
woah~! new site design - it looks awesome!!
from jaspieuk :
Morning (well, it is here anyway!) Thanks for your message. I sincerely hope things aren't ever as bad as I painted in my rant. I pray (in my own way) that everyone remains safe. Take care, xxx
from katress :
Hey hon, sorry that things aren't going that well for you. We got some big job news today too, the industry is in turmoil right now. Be thankful that you're not being layed off!
from koolaid420 :
I came across your diary today...And thought it was pretty awesome. I've always wanted to be a flight attendant... Ad well, I still do. do you like our job?
from starkitten01 :
I like your diary, I'll be back around for updates.. SK01
from ex-bitch :
question, one Im sure you have been asked before. Do you think you will ever fully comeout? Kelly
from tmb :
Hey, Darrell, I sent you an email sometime last week. Hope you got it!
from dbfeb :
testing

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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