messages to elipsis:
(click here to add new message):

from z0tl :
candoor passed away on march 6th, 2020. it's amazing after all these years i can still leave a note and it's amazing you haven't deleted any of my madness. i hope you are loved. hug:z
from z0tl :
03-Oct-2008 VX 742 SAN FRANCISCO, CA (SFO) 01:40PM SEATTLE, WA (SEA) 03:55PM 0
from z0tl :
i'm going to seattle on my way to anchorage, please email z0tl at yahoo a phone number. i'm on a business trip and will only have enough time for coffee at the airport. latest hangout: https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=17340756&postID=2468315627945735760
from z0tl :
are you reading [email protected] at least?
from z0tl :
do you consider yourself adult now and so the dairyland is nostalgically left behind for us kid:z? candyguru and i met yet again in orlando, fla and we're in love as always, hot and sweaty, but still can't get over the gay hump to finalize the wedding here in cali. how do you like being begged does it feel we're doing it from your past? we're herenow, you know?
from candoor :
months pass without checking here at diaryland... my email reminders from here go to an email account that i have not checked in a year or more... maybe you check in here and maybe you don't, either way, i leave this note... hope life is smiling in your world right now :)
from gods :
too much time and not enough mystery. & that part about the universe being wider than your imagination? boolshitean logic, the spooky effect wins, let us play craps fervirginmaryssakes.
from z0tl :
there's silence & then there's stillness, which one you practice?
from z0tl :
2 years ago, maybe march, instead of buying tix to seattle, i went to orlando and spent a full day (at ksc) with candoor/candora or candyguru as i often call ric. it was well worth it, but i wish it was seattle, nevertheless. i will prolly go for spring skiing in alaska via there again & on my way to anchorage, please don't make me waste my layover. i beg you.
from z0tl :
just for me, like in the old days, get on yahoo.im, once. how long has that note been there?
from z0tl :
omG!
from dcalienz :
Hi Julie. Happy new year.
from z0tl :
oct 2oo7 just marking time passing...
from z0tl :
teh star:z have all burned out, but i'm still [here] & there waiting patiently for you to be b0rn again (hopefully not xtian, don't take IT too far now, mkay?-)
from z0tl :
nope, not enuff! steel here tho.
from gods :
maybe divine intervention is what's required here to reestablish the lynklane:z!
from z0tl :
happy festival of lights and fervirginmaryssakes send a sign, i'm starting to believe you've been run over by a tonka truck or something even worse, like you got married?
from z0tl :
whereas i never expected to hear from (dc)alien(z) again, that has happened and now we're chatting on the phone every now and then, but for you to evaporate without a sign/note hey my life is significantly better without the introwebs, that i still cannot accept. oh man, so many things to let go of, it never end:z! ps: happy thxgiving, you turkey!
from z0tl :
give a sign ulie, please, it would mean a wxrld.
from z0tl :
you were going to update in 3 months, what? has it been 5o,ooo years yet?
from z0tl :
i think tithonus still loves you and i fershur never stopped, so would you like at least acknowledge us lonely heartz and let us know you're ok and perhaps tell us why so bizi as to never ever update anymore?
from z0tl :
can you believe i'm allowed to leave notes again? a miracle! left a plea in your guestbook as well, not sure if you read anywhere anymore. our galaxy burned thru all its stars a long, long time ago. be well. & happy. and dream for me, please, i could use it :) http://www.kittysafe.net/inspiration/trailer.swf
from aikan :
hey, good stuff, keep it up.
from tithonus :
Hey there, lovely one. :) Maybe you could tell us more about this boy?
from candoor :
it is long you are gone from here... are you anywhere?... online, I mean... if not, may life be wonderful without the net :)
from dcalienz :
I missed you as I have been gone for quite awhile. hugs
from candoor :
it's supposed to be about you (your diary) and good to see new words in it again :)
from amthystrkstr :
Diaryland. What a silly little space we play in. I haven't been playing nearly as much these days (you may have noticed) and it seems you haven't either. Drop on in, though, I've been bouncing some thoughts around with my limited internet access.
from candora :
sometimes I wonder why we are still at it, this public diary thing I mean, and then Iread again and understand that why doesn't matter, doing it matters (and I am glad you still are :)
from tithonus :
Awww... I don't know what to say. Thankyou. I love you, beautiful. :)
from tithonus :
Well... I try. :) I don't know... how wise I really am, to be honest. Looking at the way I spent a day like today makes me wonder...
from tithonus :
Hallo my lovely. :) What about letting go of your need to let go? I mean, you will always be able to discover some level at which you are failing the test of "have I let go of enough?" So why not start by letting go of the need to pass that test? It's easier said than done, I know, but is there anything that isn't?
from aikan :
hey, glad to see you writing. sometimes i struggle with these ideals, too, and trying to pursue them and not just talk about them; and sometimes i forget that they exist altogether. i think that the struggle is better.
from shesajar :
please see the new me at: http://aghostisborn.diaryland.com
from beagle47 :
twenty hail marys for being afraid. ;)
from tithonus :
There's no need to say more - you're very tolerant of my intrusive... "advice". Um. But, you know, thankyou for... well, for being around and stuff. And I'm sorry for... saying things that probably aren't very welcome to you. I mean... ultimately only you can know the truth of your relationships. But, um, yeah, you know, I love you and I care about you and it feels to me as though this guy has been giving the sorts of indications you're getting now for a long, long time, and... argh, I just... um, yeah. :(
from tithonus :
"Let me judge your love affairs in this very room, where I have sentenced mine to death..." Um. I feel very uncomfortable about judging other people's relationships, because you never really know it from the outside... and maybe I have ill-feelings towards Mr Delicious on account of a certain degree of jealousy... but I have to say that my honest feeling is that you are too "good" to him, and you're suffering over someone who is not suffering over you, and... you should let someone else jerk you around for a while. ;) Or even find someone who won't jerk you around... if such a thing is possible. All my love.
from revisions :
i know what you mean...if words flowed as fast as my thoughts, i wouldn't have a stuttering problem...
from aikan :
and now i've just learned the word "echophilia"! good to see that you're back. just don't let it suck you in (like it did to me). cheers.
from tithonus :
Yay! :) Doot-di-doo... ;)
from tithonus :
Thanks! Both for the recommendation and the compliment... :) I'll be sure to look out for it. Been a long while since I heard from you, I guess that means you've been having all sorts of exciting adventures out there in reality? For me, reality has been pretty stable for the last long while... the instability of this internet life makes a pleasant change from it. :)
from revisions :
i can't help but wondering if the large bus had no choice but to roll back down the hill....indiscriminately crushing you.... i guess no one really writes anymore...perhaps we have all run out of things to say....
from candora :
This is a test. (beep) This is a test of the Emergency Valentine's Day System. (EVS) This test is to see if leaving notes around DLand will make this a wonderful day in spite of not particularly being with anyone romantically at the moment. (ummm) May the results be that all this love in my heart found some productive use. (smile) And maybe a giggle or few (Happy V-Day from funda too :)
from tithonus :
That bus looks heavy. :|
from amthystrkstr :
you didn't have a twin brother that mysterously disappeared, did you? Because I have a missing twin sister, and I'm always on the lookout for her.
from shesajar :
great! i am glad you liked it. you don't have to send anything in return. i hope all is well with you and i am pleased to see you're writing in this place again. :)
from shesajar :
hey, did you ever receive that mix cd?
from candora :
so long gone, hope your new year is the best yet :)
from amthystrkstr :
hey now. hope this hiatus is only temporary, because I'd sure hate to stop hearing about the coolest person I don't know.
from gods :
did your escape complete you yet? or are ye stuck in the slowness?
from tithonus :
Worth a lot more than 2c to me... it's so good to hear from you! YAY!!! :)
from tithonus :
So, how's the real world treating you? :)
from aikan :
hey, cool, you are still alive! thanks for the comment. alas, somehow it never really sinks in when people tell me such things, but thank you anyway. so when ya gonna start writing again?
from tithonus :
My wonderful friend, thankyou for asking - it was a good question, and I hadn't even thought about it. :)
from revisions :
i thought i was articulate, and then i read your diary. absolutely amazing. thanks.
from abstrusely :
thankyou, i do/have miss(ed) you. do keep in touch. i'm learning the hard way that in life one must learn to let go....the hardest part is learning to discriminate, but there will always be some people worth holding onto, through all transitions and sheddings and incarnations and you dear Julie are one of them.
from shesajar :
http://shesajar.diaryland.com/030922_70.html you should send me your addy so that you can trade mixes with strangers. i think you'd like it. send it to [email protected] if interested.
from tithonus :
You're much too sweet... thankyou. :)
from throwingjuly :
welcome to Seattle...
from tithonus :
Sounds wonderful. :)
from demi-monde :
its been a while since i looked in..... and you're still as amazing and thought provoking as ever...
from tithonus :
Thanks. :) I can feel that hug, you know, so obviously it is possible to hug someone from across the world. ;)
from oily-night :
you're moving? where? and you're getting rid of books? I WANT THEM....as sad as this is. i've been too quiet of an observer.
from destinedstar :
I am interested in anything you are giving away. I love stuff like that. How can I get it?! How can I see the stuff? just wondering! :) -erin
from fieryswallow :
I want to take your survey-soon-but i need to think about it first. these are things i haven't really thought about, not in the sense to be *told* to anyone anyway. Your grandparents house sounds wonderful adn your track, your grandfather knows you well, unfinished. Very Julie. I hope you are never finished.
from aikan :
it's never looong enough! ...wait, that sounds really bad doesn't it? or maybe i'm just a pervert. okay, i am, i'll admit it, but anyway, uh... what was i saying? um, yeah, good stuff.
from raven72d :
Complex dreams always enthrall me.
from labeled-girl :
thanks.
from tithonus :
Generosity to one's nerve endings... that's such a beautiful way to put it. Thankyou. :) You always make me feel better and I shouldn't be surprised anymore at how often you surprise me with a completely original way of looking at something, but I still am. :)
from starlight99 :
hey, thanks for taking my survey :) I agree, fisting is something I will NEVER do. The thought of ot makes me shudder.
from eve-elle :
just wanted to say im thinking of you. you seem a little down lately. or maybe just melancholic. or maybe i read too much into words on a page written by people i dont really know. either way, im thinking of you!
from tithonus :
Yes, it's ok. Or at least, I think it is. :) And who lied to you, the fink!!??
from hovergirl :
(i don't know why i said "perpaining"...i'm typing with a cast on my right hand at the moment, so...i meant "pertaining")
from hovergirl :
i'm feeling the exact same way as perpaining to not feeling scared or excited. thank you for putting into words. it makes me less confused. :)
from hovergirl :
you are awesome. like, buddha-awesome. yeah.
from z0tl :
you never drop me notes anymore, you never even told me if i scared you good or not:z
from greytanit :
Beautiful entry. I've been mulling over connections of late, prompted mostly by the awareness that some of my connections with others are growing thin. I enjoy your conception of that connection as an energy, rather than a specific emotion. I've been trying to articulate that sensation recently, in private and public journaling, and reading your entry made me smile and have that silent-inward crying you described so well. :) Thank you for sharing.
from doorholder :
It is pretty all good.
from tithonus :
Have you read anything by Thich Nhat Hanh? Reading your entry today made me think of him for some reason... something to do with this anxiety about permanence and impermanence...
from z0tl :
blah blah virtuality and more EricAnthonicity, blah, i left you a note at alienz, are you still up for butterflies & icecream before donna and i gag you and whoop yo ass with a big frizzbee, if you catch my drift....
from dcalienz :
Ya I cannot help it if I disappoint people. I have no control over their expectations haha. I have visited you twice now without leaving a note. ok three times this time I am tho. Bye Julie. *hugs*
from candora :
I think the reason I like you so much is because I can drop in anytime (and I have been away) and find an uncannily similar feeling of wanting to find more time to read more of you but not being sure of exactly why and not only not minding not knowing why, but enjoying the positive vib from the unknown.
from z0tl :
no lipsey, i ain't afraid of disappointment, it is one of my greatest qualities to give up the high (done it 3 times already) without any ensuing depression caused by having to face the mundane yet again. i've got it licked lipsey, i've got it licked :)
from z0tl :
i'm eating some bryer's choco mint chip, so does that mean you're still open for icecream with donna and i where i-69 meets i-96? mayhaps we can visit the alien later that same then. i like vintage lionel hampton :)
from gods :
you're not nice, at least not when it counts!
from dcalienz :
Julie, you are such an excellent writer. *HUGS*
from tithonus :
Well, *I* knew exactly what you meant about "please". All these simple little formal words have a profound resonance in them if you listen for it... A pleasure reading you, as always. :)
from aikan :
i always write to an audience, even in a pen-and-paper journal. that audience, to me, is composed of the anthropologists and archaeologists of the future, and possibly also any chicks that i'm writing about. ironically, sometimes i consider the audience here less than i do there. causes me no end of troubles. to me, though, this place is like a tv show or standup comedy (but without the comedy) -- a performance, definitely, because we're aware that we have an audience, but true, because that's what the audience is looking for, and i, for one, want an audience.
from donnaisblue :
thats why i turned to fiction. i rarely write anything of any actual substance anymore. it has grown beyond me...
from gods :
long entries! and guilt for being lazy! blah!
from z0tl :
steinjul, how many jules of energy does it take a stupid mule to trek to detroit and have icecream with donna & a jew?
from z0tl :
it has come to our attention (and when i say we, i speaketh for Jimmy Hoffa heeself) that your latest entry isn't really a liquid, now you do have a license to kill in the liquid markets, but now you've overstepped the boundary into banana piuree which technically is m*o*s*h if you're diluted enough into douggy addams books, but here in the real real world it tresspasses into solids and as such we will levy a 2% tax on all your liquids from now on, because according to the 3 strikes you're out rule, we'd like to prevent you from inducing more harm to your brain and since it's easy to stop your ass in the dead track #1, there you go say thank you, i don't give a fuck what samsung stands for, I STAND FOR 2% ON STEIN'S FIRST MISTAKE! what have you to say my dear witty dreamcatcher?-) (NOW THAT WOULD BE CRAZY, your dream is called good fun for all will be had ;)
from z0tl :
i'ma promptly let dao know about your entry so she can pee on the floor laughing as well. you are a dream master, lipsey, A PHD IN DREAMING YOU SHOULD HALVE!!!! AND AND MEMBERSHIP IN THE CAPS CLUB MANAGED BY DAO!!!! SO YOU CAN PEE ON THE FLOOR WHENEVER NECESSARY :) :) :)
from z0tl :
turns out you had this dream because dao & i were chatting this morning and dao brandished a gun at my head to get me to post a nekkid picture of my bust in my fotolog.
from z0tl :
LIIIIIPPPPPSSSSEYEYEYEYE1!!! oh my fuckin god, i have not LAUGHED LIKE THIS since elementary skewl, i shit you not. big tears are flowing down my cheeks, my ribs are aching from laughter, i have to give it to you, you have quite a potential for bringing the best in kid:z :) :) :)
from z0tl :
and one more thing lipsey, i met a guy bill today and plugged saMSUng to him for you, turns out he already liked you :) :) small world:z
from z0tl :
haha, thank yous, you know already i was bluffing about the bossing and lucky me the same link didn't get to me, who knows, mighta reformatted the shit outta me :) :) ps: you're very cute when you get stern like that, didja know:o)
from z0tl :
http://www.yhchang.com/SAMSUNG_ENGLISH.html here it is, but you still have to dig it in the correct order and then send the robot the fuckin link. SEND IT SEND IT SEND IT !!!!
from z0tl :
send the bitch the link now! please!
from z0tl :
because i delete my notes, I COMMAND YOU & URGE YOU to remember the link you sent me that one from the heavy industries YOUNG HAE-CHANG or something, the one where it explains to all how to CUM with saMSUng!!!! do not fake ignorance, i will ticket your ass at 94mph before you can blink the 4th time!!!!????!!!!
from z0tl :
do me a big favor, please email the samsung link directly to your kin at [email protected] and cc: me for good times ;) it's all in good fun lipsey, all of it. now DO IT! bizzzatch! with MORE GO! like nikey :) :) :) :z
from oily-night :
you know, you may be on to something....we just may be best friends....this theory is worth testing if you ask me. any ideas on how to test it?
from tithonus :
I thought paneer was just a generic Indian word meaning "cheese", in the same way that the Spanish words salsa means "sauce". But I could easily be wrong. :|
from z0tl :
lipsey, i've this friend who just came back from south korea, he has a biz card from some hot shot samsung ph.d. i told him samsung! what's it stand for? he didn't give a fuck. i told him it meant to cum. he didn't give a fuck. i misplaced the flash preso, can you please relink me and can i please link him and instill some respect for msu in his uci ass? now we begin the more serious ball playing, please lemme know if i shall stick with icecreamy butterflies, they really matter, but soony says we also have to play ball, so i'm starting AND AND AND i'm coming to detroit by turbulent airplane and rental vehicle. l0ve me tender & gather up with donna for icecreamy 88 flavors at your commonly accepted among us 3 icecreamery :z
from oily-night :
p.s. why do you have to write so well? i wish we were best friends. oh to dream!
from oily-night :
you have the porn on your computer too eh? wow. suddenly i don't feel so alone.
from occipitalobe :
i wish i could go to field days, but funds are tight since i just moved.
from tithonus :
There's porn on your computer? *blinks*
from z0tl :
and when can you take me on the beaten path of butterflies who flap them dusty wing:z like they be hummingbird:z or have you already taken me while awareness was escaping me grossly? :) :) :)
from z0tl :
how liquidity has got to do with barometric deviation i shall never completely understand, BUT I STILL WANT ICECREAM AND YOU BEST BELIEVE I"M A MEMBER OF DAO"S capsl0ck CLUB, SO ANTE UP, 0k???!!!???
from z0tl :
lipsey, open the damn bottle goddammit! then let us communicate and reason our way thru what the message is saying and how we may prioritize the tasks at hand. but by all means, keep the bottle closed at the same time :) :) :) ummmmssssuuuuzzzzvvvv....
from tithonus :
That's why you need to mix those ideas with some nice watery ignorance and hatred in order to make a good solid opinion that you can throw at people...
from z0tl :
did you know you can achieve more with a one line note than an entry that takes 3 PgDn's to read?-) 's why i color my notes blue and my all important entries red :z
from gods :
congrats on your 111th entry.
from candora :
suddenly, I feel strange... that isn't really what I am supposed to think, is it?... oh, I'll never fit in this world.... meanwhile, you're still smile inspiring.
from z0tl :
yeah, but ask yaself this: am i back 0n?-)
from z0tl :
haha- plasticity- anyway, at least get together with donna and after that, when you two poke at each other & eat some icecream to decide you're real, then lemme know and i'll make you an offer you can't refuse :) :) :)
from z0tl :
too much noise?-) the attitude in this wee corner is fuck it, let them come to us, but that attitude is somehow caused by not being able to see past the ceral in the cereal box you're hiding in, so i'm determined to get to detroit by lil pickup truck and have a serious party in cleveland to discuss if everyone can just take a bit of time off and figure out where to go from here & the evah buggin q:now what?:z
from lasirene :
If you're ever in Miami Beach, let me know. I already have the sidewalk chalk. My daughter and I draw all the time! :)
from z0tl :
& i think for me to fly to detroit would be vur' complicated & turbulent, so i figure i'll jes drive. i've packed a cd with lil kids educational musix (#13&beyond) and i could get there by the end of the week iff donna makes it too. otherwise, maybe we'll just meet at the cove where weather is good & likelihood of llama occurence possibly low:z what does <3 in acshuality mean? i just took as *kotc*
from donnaisblue :
whoa- two more things. apparently signmyguestbook.com has been bullshitting me and not telling me when people sign it, so i just found your note there, and by pure chance! and i didn't write that last thing, it was a letter sent to me. i actually disagreed with her a lot, but she cracks me up so i thought i'd post it.
from donnaisblue :
did you get the email i forwarded to you?
from tithonus :
*hugs*
from aikan :
here i am again. are you sure we're not siamese twins linked at the medulla oblongata? okay, perhaps the pinky toe.
from aikan :
re. amniotic teas: that's the truth.
from raven72d :
Books are the thing I most enjoy...
from z0tl :
!
from raven72d :
A book for you-- Jacques Monod, "Chance and Necessity"... and Charles Petzold, "Code"...
from z0tl :
can you please iron my hair? coz it's vur' straight, i needs it curly, so you can show me the butterflies & the kids :) in december where perchance there may be no irony even tho we be no keeds anymo? msu stands for mmmvvvzzz, at least in my logs which are highly inaccurate. maybe!
from decemberguy :
Loved your entry today. Kids rock..especially kids who don't understand irony!=)
from z0tl :
or was it canadian geese?-)
from z0tl :
and all i wanna do is have ice cream & feed those ducks. complicated times we live, i tell you :D
from tithonus :
Hey, you updated RIGHT NOW, which means you're online... come into the chatroom?
from tithonus :
Those are some *very* interesting dreams. I won't try to interpret them, though. ;) Um, as for people freaking you out... I know what you mean. A lot of the time I act around other people mainly based on my anxiety about what they're going to think of me... but then, I don't know, if I wasn't anxious around them, *who* I would be, or *what* I would show them if I wasn't "covering up". I don't think it's a problem that has a solution... one of those things that you can learn from so long as you're not too frightened of it, I suppose. Oh, and have you heard the song "Misunderstood" by Pete Townshend? It's great. :)
from z0tl :
why dontcha get yo ass in sd then & we'll cook for ya & show ya monsters, inc. on dvd & then our normality will shock you beyond such limits that perchance we can arrange for blueallover to be in the house at the same time, for he my friend WILL instill the FEAR of MONSTERS in your soul beyond any hope of proper salvation thru beauty of nature :) :) :) oh, lips, you're such a d0rk :o) and i pout at you for not wanting to reveal anything about the matrix. i pout!
from lasirene :
You are most definately NOT a dork; you are absolutely lovely and I am crazy about your diary. Your whole last entry about the arm and the flowers and the note, etc... was so vivid. I want to know what was in that note!! I could just imagine you smelling the flowers and it was so beautiful and dreamlike. The whole entry kind of made me think of a beautiful Dr. Seuss animation come to life. I have no idea what that means. Take it as you will :)
from z0tl :
dam! & i have to wait till friday, coz if we couldn't go today z1tl can't go till then and she would kill me if i saw it 1st. i wish you'd take me on a walk, last time i checked your voice was dry & i couldn't make out your greeting, so i took it as an oh-shit reverberation :o)
from z0tl :
oh yeah & the other 1st was evah here in d*land unless i was drunk and can't remember. i will remember this tho even if they force me to drink a full bottle of propylene or some other reformatting liquid. i will.
from z0tl :
i can only hope you'll weave me s'more :-D
from tithonus :
You wish you had more? I think you have just the right amount. :)
from z0tl :
if they had data, that be next generation w/ cpt. picard & the q continuum & the b0rg as well. i think you're too young to have watched the old 1st gen w/ cpt. kirk, yet the tribble episode was one of those. hmmm... :)
from z0tl :
i love you, you know that, right? & you can #10 me any time you want and i will #13 atcha alway:z
from z0tl :
lip:z
from z0tl :
lipsey, i forgot to ask you about that absolutely cutest thinghie you got, omg, it looks so like in that old star trek with the whatchamacallem (kibblets, trimblets?) that infested the enterprise & were making all those fuzzy funny noises. yes, i cannot instill respect for any kind of animal in my monster, not for other cats, not for dogs, not for nothing & he wants to eat anything that's even slightly less than him, but everyone who comes in the house says they have never seen such a friendly, soft & overly adorable kitty. he is the master of deception & he rides me, i've no doubt about it. i guess i shall have to leave him behind when i visit detroit 3 decades from now when you & donna won't be afraid to do cartwheels anymore :) :) ps: i admit i'm a star trek geek, but i only dig the next generation really, please hold it a bit less against me, please?-)
from z0tl :
hmmmm.. but check it, my book 1 only has 14 tracks :) please let me know the name of the unwritten in my bubble yet #15 song :o]
from z0tl :
no one has ever given me a poem before, so i ate it, but i'm keeping a perfect clone to eat later & later. i've been laughin all day at my lucky ass day, i was grinnin at the sun & clouds pattern, my stereo blasting track #10 of all eyez on me book #1 (which might have been 'only god can judge me') and it looks like my luck bubble was burst right then & there. but not quite now :o]
from dcalienz :
You mean everyone does not hear flies landing on tissue? Hello, J.
from z0tl :
and i forgot to show you these bubbles, i think i was thinking about them before you started thinking about yours this time around, but i think you started it first, overall :) http://www.fotolog.net/mirror/?photo_id=101292
from z0tl :
i'm sorry, the ultimate team called me & cancelled practice on me, i doubt i'm good enough for them to ever take me, so not in detroit yet, but check with donna, she's thinking about it as well, perchance it could happen any weekend now :o] ps: i'm happy to offer you the floor whenever it coincides with your needing it :z
from starlight99 :
you should see the film 'at first sight' with val kilmer and mira sorvino. its based on a true story about a blind man who miraculously gets his sight back, but then loses it again. best quote from it: "As a blind man I think that I see a lot better than I did while I was sighted. Because I don't really think we see with our eyes. I think we live in darkness when we don't look at what's real about ourselves - about others, or about life. I think no operation can do that. And when you see what's real about yourself, then you've seen a lot. And you don't need eyes for that."
from z0tl :
i have to agree with that one ... but i am just wrapping up doug adams' 5th hitchhiker's guide book (mostly harmless) and it's talking about the unlimited perceptions bird, the latest version of the guide that sees everything ... haha ... talk about your wishes for unfiltered perceptions - careful, careful, i said this before :z
from aikan :
hmm... i think you've been reading z0tl too much...
from z0tl :
i will soon fly to detroit for a long weekend & hope to meet you & donna if you guys are up for it. if we're to hammer out some kind of liquidic theory of abyssial nothingness, i think a kick 0ff meeting would be appropriate :z
from staticremedy :
I saw your name under other Diaryland members who like sigur ros. Your last entry that mentions Helen Keler was so interesting. I feel like I am missing out on a lot of life without being able to see all that exists and hear all that is around me. I'm glad you opened me up to that.
from donnaisblue :
interesting. liked the helen keller idea. and the perception of everything at once? one would go blind with sight.
from z0tl :
for clarification, z0tl & the zotl continoom are secretly something completely else, but my lack of imagination gets the better of me :z
from z0tl :
you are tutu kind, you know it! hey, d-r-y made us cute buttons, you a spider, i an ant, wanna switch at times? because secretly you should know a zotl is a.a.attanasio's evil spidery creature that suketh at the back of the human's neck feeding on paindorphins? yeah, the last legends of earth, perhaps you'll never read boring sci-fi like that, so i'm tellin ya :) oh-and-oh, stop staring into the rain drops, you are causing major weather disturbances throughout & it's been raining here too & i've been staring back atcha :z
from starlight99 :
you are too, too kind. you overestimate me by far too much but nonetheless, your note left me with a huge grin on my face. thankyou.
from z0tl :
i said 1 week, you said 1o daze, you pulled your stuff from the sky & you are right, but the last 5 should be more internetted than these first 5, but i have all the notes i need & it's not infinite iceberg of them that did it, it's the 0ther lil thing :z (don't lose the bottle, evah :)
from occipitalobe :
The course IS north campus. Use trees, garbage cans, light posts... Just beware the red cedar. Park in the complex right by the library, at the top level. Hole 1: off of the top of the parking complex down to the green patch between the roads, just north of the parking structure,to one of the construction pylons at the left....The ashtray in front of the administration building... the fire hydrant across the street from IM circle...
from aikan :
you've got a great way of putting things. every once in a while i have to update my profile because i've found another great phrase that i can use to describe your diary with. to wit: "up-close pictures of nature at her most brilliantly savage" and "because 'shh's and laughter sound the same no matter where you go", just to name a couple. i ought start writing these down.
from tithonus :
Um, how am I, huh? I think I'm in a weird kind of liminal state, where I'm not sure if I'm doing too much stuff or not enough, but I have a feeling that I ought to be doing something different from the amount that I'm doing. I don't know. I wish some wild breeze would whisper something in my ear that I could then take as gospel. Um... So, how are you? ;)
from z0tl :
z00 appears in no imdb, so i assume zoo, but what year? there are 4 movies with that title. still, look what you did with one book and a few gorillaz! stiller, i trust you more than my unborn daughter, so pinpoint it for me and i shall watch it in the comfort of my cage :z
from z0tl :
when i think of the british empire, 3 things immediately pop into my head: brilliant, bullocks, honk your horn = farting. that is the extent of my grasp on royal matters & don't read too much into this either, because all i wanted to say is this: have a happy hump day, you know, wednesday ;* do i detect a bit of drag there? you can doo it, you know you can :*
from candora :
why gee thanks... now if I can only remember what was said...
from z0tl :
i could swear i saw you handle a mellifluous transmografier and, if i'm not mistaken, the dreadful mol-asses-o-zapper. but if you insist you gots no wmd's then i guess we'll just take you to your word, because your word is prettierer than any others we've heard. and you are prettiererest. haha! hah! turns out they make them rubberizers(tm) under japanese license in bali. how am i rubberizing? call 1-888-rubber:z
from aikan :
hi, sorry about that. i get carried away trying to be funny sometimes and end up losing the point. my point is just expressing sympathy with the need for "life-affirming" things... well, okay, one thing in particular. on the other hand, i'm still not quite sure that it's a good idea. but here i am rambling about myself. carry on.
from aikan :
ahh, i could certainly use some life-affirmation. ahh, but not from you. i mean, nothing personal, we just met and all, i mean, not that... uhh... run away!
from tithonus :
My little sister and brother, who can never bring themselves to harm a living thing, get ants out of the sink by blowing on them. They just blow on the ants, making sure that every ant gets a gust, and then go away, and when they come back the ants are gone. I'm a bit less fastidious, myself. Bad, bad god.
from candora :
I love what you do with ants... life affirming sex and ants, yes, that's definitely worth coming back for again and again :)
from z0tl :
you rubberized me this morning, you know that, right? i wanted to just stand up and take a compliment goddammit and i kept folding over the back of my chair. very eerie feeling, how do you do that?-)
from z0tl :
ohohoho, ms.lipstein, i just started down the thick, leafy path written by old man Z and i gots to say, it starts promissory. at first i wanted to just shelve the textbook back because when someone tells me 'this is not for you' i take it very personally, but then i remembered you were right there with me, holding my hand ever so gently and pouring liquid ice down my spine and i knew i had to delve in and i did, ms.lipxis, i did with utmost enthusiasm and i know i won't have to look back and i would like to stop this right here because it's escaping my control :z
from geekguru :
You know you need help from the Guru!
from z0tl :
before it slips my utterly non-creative mind, i'm sure you prolly have seen it already, if not go see http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/riversandtides/ it is about a creative mind who gets nature like none other, you'd like :z (not that i'd be one to encourage you towards things that reinforce faith in humanity har-har :]
from fieryswallow :
Dear Julie, You are PURE. You are fresh. You are conventionally unconventional, albeit perhaps more on the inside than the out. I was at the zoo a few days ago and I was so mad and angry. They had this enormous enclosure for teh Sun Bear. (I was happy about that) There was only one, (That I find sad.) but he had so much room. His enclosure really was enormous. But then the Big bears. I almost cried. They had these twp enormous bears in a pen half the size of the sun bears. I hate seeing them all closed in. I hate seeing them in pens, cages, "enviroments". ANd I know it seems hypocritical of me to pay to see something that makes me sick to my stomach, I am happy that my daughter feels the same way. But she pointed out to me, in her whole seven years of wisdom, that "But Mum, some of these animals are only still here because of zoo's. Because of breeding programs." On that part she's right. But that's only because we damaged them in the first place.
from z0tl :
yeah, but was bugs bunny there? no, that is incorrect. the correct answer is, no, but his carrot was :z
from z0tl :
listen to this lipsey, 1st you tell me eggsactly what i wanna hear about madonna, now i finds out she's gonna be on today in will & grace! WILL & GRACE! do you see the cosmic implications of all this? ordinarily i blow off omens & coincidences just like that (or else i'd long since have gone completely crazy) but this, this will put me to sleep a very happy puppy tonight :D
from z0tl :
you, you my friend, you have not been crowned queen of maybe for nothing :z
from z0tl :
one other thing that's been on my mind and needs your soothing elucidation, but if you're off a cliff in a car, wouldn't the ONLY thing that might lead to your survival be a somersault out of the vehicle?-)
from z0tl :
lips, you are such a woundrous dreamer. i have to get pointers from you. i've been trying to get madonna in bed with me, all sorts of women i cannot recognize instead keep appearing which leads me to believe i end up in their dreams, not them in mine, if that makes sense. but i am proud the only 2 celebrities that appeared in my dreams thus far are jay leno & yes, mikey jordan. and what mikey jordan wanted is to show me a body swap, but he kept saying in order to not fuck up anything, we'd do it with bugz bunny and i was too paranoid of becoming a carrot up his ass instead of the desired outcome, so it poof, ended ... i still envy your dreaming skillz, what i can remember is always weird, but short, just scenes, never contiguous episodes ... i often thought perhaps this is yet one more proof towards the fact i am still dreaming http://z0tl.diaryland.com/dr3am.html if you missed it :]
from d-r-y :
THAT is one weird dream!!! :D
from z0tl :
lookat, a loong note!
from z0tl :
oh, lips, i don't think i can throw a frizzbee worth a crap, but i know for a fact i can throw myself at the ground with great intention, so if that combination can put a stretch/relax combination on your face, i shall do it with great enthusiasm. coincidentally, i have located a group of peeps who play weekly in pacific beach, so just call when you get here :) on the subject of hate, oh c'mon, you could do better than that, all loving creatures have not been evolvoluted on earth yet, that i know. the other terms, you know i use them more as terms of endearment than their original interpretation, you know that. but i'm bad, i know i'm bad, i can't help it & i don't try to, i've only received one message in my life, it wasn't a voice or an image or anything, but when i got it i knew with every little atom of my body that what i heard was this: "do whatever the fuck you wanna do. alwayz!" and all i can do is live accordingly. ummm... but still, as an excercise, try saying after me: kill zem all! kill zem all! did that give you a tingle behind your ears? haha. ok, thank you for dealing (so graciously) with all of me.*
from d-r-y :
I like redhot hot hot too.
from d-r-y :
I should put aside a whole day to myself just so I could read ALL of you in one sitting. When that is over, I shall flip you back to the very beginning and start 01-12-2001, have a pause and take a break at 17-12-2001, have another but shorter break at 11-07-2002 before proceeding onwards to what I call a beautiful journey. I shall gather my family and friends for this marathon. That'll be healthy for everyone. :)
from oily-night :
i'd been meaning to tell you where i've been. i didn't know if you read mine enough to care to know, so i wasn't sure what to do i have moved to troutmask.livejournal.com for lots of reasons. but i hope in heaven you check it out. i view yours a couple times a day, you know, just in case you get over inspired. i'm not sure if i'll write in oily-night anytime soon. troutmask is my warm new blanket.
from z0tl :
hmmm.. right attitude, right recipe, wrong universe to measure the results in? bun:z & frixbee yes? orangex & apple:z maybe? ~~~ back to our sheep, have you played ultimate on the beach? it's a whole different ball game, they say. very unconstraining, so to speak :o)
from oily-night :
about Redhot Hot Hot that was probably the best diaryland entry i've ever read. you have a way with words that stuns me, makes me fat and baffled !!!!
from z0tl :
intentional frixbee!
from z0tl :
next time you play, try to mentally tell the frixbee to intent itself please along with your intentions. using cajoling words and petting may also help align its intentions with yours. assuming it is intention-less is a very constrained view, certainly not ultimate :z
from z0tl :
elemental frixbee!
from z0tl :
did i open an unlimited notes account with you, misslipss? my memory fails me, it only works backwards, you see, and i distinctly remember this account being open some time in the not so near future. distinctly :~]
from z0tl :
i keep misspelling you elipxis, i kinda like it, if ok with you i'll stop backspacing it. is throwing yourself at the ground with intention the only requirement for playing ultimate frixbee? i will reload us a matrix and we be throwing ourselves with major intention at the ceiling >:]
from z0tl :
your weaving skillz are splendiferous. my positronic pathwayz are tingly with anticipation. from red to green to yellow to blue to infinite shades of gray and a quick stopover at the event horizon. we will all of us into a happy direction that all of you can follow and maybe stretch & relax your facial muscles. a bit. ty :z
from z0tl :
so all those smilies you left in my notes then, they don't mean you're mine?? :o)
from candora :
I saved 3 (waterclors)... I would like permission to use it... I do not know where (I will ask again when I do)... more time is required here... just wanted you to know...
from z0tl :
oo lips, but the gorillaz know, lips, they know, they fooled ms.jane all along ;)
from occipitalobe :
i might go to that field day. I'm moving to Philly the weekend before. See ya there.
from z0tl :
dearest lipsey, you put sunshine in my bag :] i'm out from my cave and i gots me panoramic view. have an ultimate weekend :z
from z0tl :
i was just thinkin, you know who's gonna be at those concerts? blueallover! you have got to meet him dood and you have got to twist his nipple rings until he says mmmmvvvvzzzz. please do that for me coz he doesn't seem to be moving back to cali anymore, so i amn't sure when i'll get to do it :z
from raven72d :
everythingforever.com was fun... And I still read your entries on a regular basis...
from occipitalobe :
oh i missed wine night at beggar's... damn the final project!
from z0tl :
dood, why do you do this? why do you update just before bed time? there should be rules against that. because now you've linked me to this humming dood, i don't even know the shit he's talkin about makes my head all spin, not hummmmvvvvvzzzzzz and now i gots to read about everythingforever and wake up at 7am to go deal with all those things you hate so much: work and (is there really responsibility in a state job?) anyway, you make too much sense for a drunk lady, try harder next time :)
from z0tl :
it depends on the angular momentum, of course and once you escape surface tension, keep them eyez on the road signz and don't mind the flashy billboardz. when you be that springy old lady and have more of an interest in cabbage, we will share many notes over a cup of your renowned tea :*
from z0tl :
pleased to make your acquaintance, ms.jul1e. i gots to dig it out, i'm sure i said it formally somewhere before and you have read it, i'm sure and yes, here it is in all its cryptic and non-sensical formulation: http://z0tl.diaryland.com/acquaintme.html
from donnaisblue :
i have something i want to show you- from our conversation of sex without bodies. i wrote a story about it a while ago, but it's fairly graphic, i mean, the entire plot is driven by sex. not that there actually is a plot, because most my stories lack that...but it also shows the theory i have behind my characters, which is, i'm not trying to make them human, i'm using them as a devise or medium. rarely do i give them names, and in this one, they don't even have faces. i wanted to make sure that was ok with you before i sent it though, like, a disclaimer or something, and if it's not ok, that's fine too.
from z0tl :
i am one, now you've busted my secret. i haven't killed the rest either, i just found out one day that i am one and i'll get no help with reading assignments, so here i go... (we'll still travel ;)
from throwingjuly :
if you haven't already, read "The Blacks" by Jean Genet. its confusing and somewhat hard to read on ones own, but one of the key issues in the play is the relationship between the spectator and the actors. in addition, it's poetry as well.
from z0tl :
if you weren't an english major, i wouldn't say this, but now i have to: begun!
from z0tl :
is this british humor or have the spores began to travel wildly again? ... zzz ... anyway, 4th Floor Books, PS3554.A5596 H68 2000, NOT CHECKD OUT, danielwski, mark :z, HOL, have i got the wrong one? is it truly horror? give the sign & i shall blow it away like the wolf.
from d-r-y :
Haha! I did not eat my notes. I delete them. It's two different things. :]
from z0tl :
hey, i'm outside playing, where are you? :]
from d-r-y :
did you spin that?
from oily-night :
ok, this is serious. did you do that maddening drawing yourself? i can't stop loving it. i must say, in all honesty, it's simply fantastic. you simply are an amazing person. and i don't even know you. i have it set as my background on my computer. ugh.
from z0tl :
did you weave that cobweb yourself? jeezooz, i've never seen so many charted lynklanes in 789 lifetime:z i've a similar one only it's got a y instead of the who. have candy, we'll travel :)
from eve-elle :
that sure is a crazy dream. i like it though its pretty sad. (sex in convienience stores is not that uncommon you know..i happen to know someone who joined the 'convienence club') were you sad when you woke up or just felt weird?
from raven72d :
dreams with convenience stores never seem to have good sex in them.
from elipsis :
GOOD* IDEA!!! *in the wonderfully biased and entirely unproven sense of the word.
from z0tl :
lips, the idea that i might evah get mad atcha has prompted me to do some laundry. i know you have it in you to carry on an argument and watch people in the eyez throughout. so you need not concern yourself with such nonsense, we have already agreed to disagree at times, but we both like candy, so that's enough to go on for a very long time, forevah for all intents of purposes you might say. just have plenty of candy for when we might hit the rough seaz of trexelius 8 or those pesky spiderz of the continuum :z
from z0tl :
don't worry, you gonna live forever, just like me. it's not fucked up once you get used to it, it's fun if you never get bored, it's a bit of a drag otherwise. ummm... candy!
from z0tl :
i will never be able to forget your lucky lottery numbers that you expect to receive on a fortune cookie. never. because they make sense to me. i find that even more disturbing :z
from z0tl :
maybe?-)
from z0tl :
if ever you think i'm leaving you too many notes or make too many demands, please let me know and i'll cut it out according to specifications. as said before (i think), lacking ability to read minds, i got myself in trouble because of my careless noting habits, so i feel i shall issue a disclaimer to make it clear: the customer is always in control :)
from z0tl :
in the absence of evil, good has no meaning. if there is falacy in that statement, would you be so kind and point it out for me. ty :z
from z0tl :
you're supposed to (from memory) quote the entry names, then you pass the test of history :)
from z0tl :
I VOW TO TRY HARDER TO IGNORE THEM.(tm) but dam those 4 horsez can get jiggy with it :z
from dcalienz :
I love the way you speak of such deep things, and then you never fail to keep it light. Well at least almost never. It looks like we may finally get some spring in our state. Yay. :)
from amthystrkstr :
God, you're Reading House of Leaves. Of COURSE you'd be reading that book. Damn. This is the part when I then say something about how much you remind me of a reflection of myself, yada yada yada, you know it though, I've said it a million times before, it seems like. Constantly amazed, I am.
from z0tl :
thank you. and finally i put me some wheels around this box, so we can go rollin with damn g:z
from gods :
he says he'd say 'thank you' personally only his eyez are all drippy & shit.
from z0tl :
everything is a fact until one day you forget all the facts you've been stating ... never mind, i got distracted ... i wish i had mind reading capabilities combined with time travel, that way i could keep up with people's requirements around here. anyway, by all measurements, today was a bad day for me. fortunately, it all happened in sims land, so hah, i'm hitting the pool jes' now and did i tell you how much i love that blue berry fusion from pepsi(tm)? i thought i did, it so keeps me liquidly uncaring and all :z
from d-r-y :
hmmm. did i make you blush? that was never my intention. you, amazing, is just a fact. :)
from z0tl :
are you staying in bed today? being lazy? screw work on a monday type of thing? it seems that way from a distance, but i can't claim any clairvoyant ability, none whatsoever :z
from donnaisblue :
i just realized that we're both from michigan (from your report of the weather). isn't it amazing? i dont know how bad you got it- but our power was out for three days and most people wont get it back until tuesday or wednesday. and then today there's a couple inches of snow. michigan is so screwy.
from d-r-y :
i hope you know how amazing you are. :)
from flamingbird :
From the book I'm reading, it's very much a one-sided conversation. The insight into her mind is startling. You only have her perception. It's all the letters she wrote to Johnny. (I think in all there's about 65) Some short, some really long. Some very abstract. It's like looking at the world and mostly her relationship to Johnny through a broken kaleidascope. No matter how hard you shake it, it won't/can't reflect reality. Only the perception of a fractured/broken mind. And yet no matter how dark, damaged and fragmented that mind maybe, her heart still beats, it still loves and it never loses sight of that. You can't help but like the woman.
from z0tl :
i couldn't remember where dani would've read about the 'house of leaves' fucking with you, so i went to amazon to pull up some reviews thinking i have to read this book i had no idea existed, so user x was saying among other things: "so it becomes a tedious teasing act." i went: "hmmm..." :z
from tithonus :
The thing I think, I guess, is that you can't *cure* yourself of being you, but if you have some sort of relationship to the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable (rather than ignoring or denying them) then they can teach you something and they... change, somehow. They never go away but they sort of... operate in the open? You learn to recognise their voices when they speak to you. I don't know. Something like that. Oh, and thankyou. :)
from dearcynthia :
wow. I am totally feeling the flow of thoughts you've gotten yourself into lately. "there is an infinity INSIDE of YOUR BODY." I thought I was the only one who thought like that. And "house of leaves" will seriously fuck with you? I've had that book for a number of years now but I somehow never picked it up to read yet. Maybe I'll follow your example here..
from z0tl :
*sigh* liquid weekend to you :z
from aikan :
hidy ho; i guess that the funny feeling (unrelated to ropes) involves the oddity of being complimented by a stranger, and especially that someone finds my writing to have clarity and style. just new to me, i guess :)
from z0tl :
haha, when i said i was gonna go hydrate, i didn't expect 5,000 gallons of drool dumped on my head. hahahah, you gots to get in IM for us to have that kind of conversation that spawns multileaves and bends the moral supports of our humanity :) :) ps:z
from z0tl :
i'm not sure i read your note yet, i'm jumping here like the chick on a flicked booger to say this: i ain't buyin i ain't sellin. you don't believe me, you read my updates like d-r-y flaky fluff and go hmmm... some of that shit is really trippin! so to what you want, i say you'll make it happen. what i want is to rapid cycle thru all of it and spend only time enough for love in each and every lil place. that's what i want and everyone else can have what they want. absolutely to the last final detail. it's frikkin mind-bogglin haha, ok i go have lunch & hydrate myself now :z
from z0tl :
i absolutely love your writing.
from bubbleviciou :
I absolutely love your writing.
from shesajar :
good work with the self examination stuff... it makes for a good read and some of my own introspection. will we see more pictures of and by you?
from tithonus :
I think the tension between 1 & 2 has something to tell you. And 10 has a LOT to say - you should write more about it. That's what I think. :)
from aikan :
hey, i never did say it, but thanks for the note. i really appreciate such kind words, and it still makes me feel all funny to read it. no, not like in gym class when we climbed the ropes. i get -that- feeling from reading your diary......... just kidding! eheh.
from flamingbird :
Wow, you're reading House of Leaves? I haven't read it yet, but I have read just finished reading the Whalestoe Letters. I found it for a dollar at the supermarket in one of those bins at the end of the isle. Something MADE me buy it. From the first line of the Foreward I was mesmerised. (" Beside the fact that she was of fierce intelligence and beatuiful at that, she was mad.")
from z0tl :
firstly- if i paid you money to write about that, you wouldn't have i'm sure, but hey, everything goes for thrills :) rock 0n! secondly- :z
from donnaisblue :
firstly- i started reading house of leaves last summer and became bored. but that was after only a few pages (short attention span). so you'll have to tell me if i should read further. secondly- i know this idea of sexual fantasies without people, of sex without body... i love that idea
from d-r-y :
the note you left me... it is just ever so sweet! thanks elipsis! *hugs*
from z0tl :
many a god have told me they could use a rope or its quantic equivalent in some cases, but if asked in public i will deny all of it but of course, since i still need the establishment to give me a job so i may pay for my 40,000,000 liquid drips (or was it trips?) that are for sale on ebay. i love elbowing my way thru the crowds :z
from d-r-y :
i am in your faves? already? *shy smile*
from occipitalobe :
lets be friends
from dcalienz :
It is probably hard to detect patterns in oneself because of the closeness. I liked the analogy of the monet. If you can detect no habits, perhaps you have none that cause you enough problems to notice. Not that I really know anything about all this. Not that I really thought you were asking me. :)
from z0tl :
i ain't sleepin with no kant. only thing i know about the dude is that he's got a paper on self-judgment, but it's a rudimentary particularization of my unifying field of dreams theory and that is why google features me when you search for 'self judge' and features kant only when you search for 'self judge kant' - oh, well, but i'm all for inviting the man over to the corner starbucks where those not constrained by time can borrow a barista and brew a potent latte for me! where's the volpukian hedgehoggie anymore?
from z0tl :
so now you're whorlin gossamery faces on the bathroom floor. i have to caution you! be very careful with this shit and be very careful with wishing upon stars upon stars upon stars that you may climb god's elbow. you know that if god should speak to you and you should ever speak of it, you will forever be cast among the mentally insane and drooling and that would be disconcerting to say the least. now, i found this: http://www.brainmachines.com/body_experiences.html and didn't go thru it all, i just think the psychedelic paragraph & the part about tripping may soon be applicable. also, if you decide to try the chemistry at the end and get good results, i'll fly over thru turbulence to experiment together :z (just for any pure soul out there who might read all this, i'm kidding, unless of course your name is elipsis in which case i'm dead serious :))
from donnaisblue :
it is in our nature to try to find patterns in things that are generally without. that is why we see a face in the moon and in other formations. and not seeing a pattern in yourself may be because you are too close to yourself to see it, the way you cant see the patterns in monet paintings unless you take a step back
from smokinblues :
patterns are overrated. If you could find patterns in yourself, wouldn't that be monotony? And there's nothing wrong with having your head in the stars, just so long as your feet are on the ground. My god, i just referenced casey casem. I'm OLD.
from z0tl :
you trickled between my stretched fingers and maintained your elusiveness. just now :z
from z0tl :
gotta love IM technology! i just realized i'm having a WONDERFUL day!!!! ty!!!!
from z0tl :
the note that required an answer was the last one, the other two were just rhetorical babbling ;)
from introibo :
that was a great metaphor, and i thought you should know. the end of the universe one. with the ball. really, really good. really. good.
from z0tl :
that sparkling liquid laugh of yours, how did you do that?
from z0tl :
but really, all i wanted to say is i hope you had a great weekend and aren't you free tomorrow as well as a state employee celebrating the advances cesar chavez made in the farmlands? i sure hope you do :)
from z0tl :
what is the difference between deconstructors and constructors? i was just perfunctorily reading some lecture notes on this and can't make up my mind yet. for example, when the constructors are the cancer cells and the destructors are the chemotherapy agents, is that kinda the same as when the constructors build a lot of buildings and the destructors take them down? perhaps not, perhaps not at all, perhaps it all depends exclusively on who puts the judgment frames in place and has the power to judge accordingly. hmmm... liquid dust, i envision :z
from tithonus :
I had to think a while about your answer, but, yes, that makes perfect sense. I was going to say something like, I don't know, recognition of the fact that growth is also always death, and progress in one direction is regress in the other, but... what you describe doesn't sound at all like the ambitious project of self-building that I'm so wary of... more like, hmm... even a necessary accomodation to the reality of our dust-filled lives? And it's you that's wonderful. :)
from raven72d :
I like the little creature waiting in the watercolor.
from dcalienz :
It is nice to be who you want to be, minus demands from a cavern that can never be satisfied.
from lasirene :
Thanks so much for your sweet message, which came at the absolute perfect moment. You made my day, truly. I wish I could give you a big, big hug and some Swiss chocolate.
from z0tl :
*crimson blush*
from raven72d :
We all need a place to stand. Mine is Square One...though it sometimes looks like a table in an exiles' bar.
from dcalien :
That last note you sent me really touched me. You gave me one of the two things I most want in life. To be appreciated is about the nicest present a person can receive. Thanks for showing that to me. I only hope I express my appreciation for you as well. I am very happy that you call me your friend. I know you are surely that to me.
from raven72d :
I always seem to find myself at square one...
from z0tl :
i'll give it a rest now, next thing you know all sorts of misconstructions may materialize out of nothing :z
from z0tl :
some of your wishes are coming true, albeit in a stylized formation: http://z0tl.diaryland.com/message.html
from z0tl :
i will tell you this about being a cat: when you knead, it's better than sex. i know nothing about being a fish, sorry.
from z0tl :
now rush up to me and kiss me and there won't be any misconstruing, i guarantee it! no tricks!
from z0tl :
your mind is beautiful and you are pretty and don't blush! there, i'm a genie!
from z0tl :
another god: have you tried pulling a trick on an ant lately? to make her believe you can take her grain away? try it! it's more satisfying than a snickers bar. i ain't one to dispense advice and shit, but of all fears in exploring the question, the fear of being tricked into it should be way down in the charts.
from z0tl :
i've always suspected autistic people, the ones who get really skilled at it, have a full life in another world and leave their unattended body with us here, just for feeding purposes. i can't prove it, but i suspect it nevertheless. what i can prove is that you haven't moved to north carolina in december.
from z0tl :
i will take a break now, because somehow i can't see you as a third wheel. as soon as you mention lesbian friends, all i see is whipped cream and bubble baths, no automobile parts whatsoever, none!
from z0tl :
it'll take me a couple of hours to read all of you. your defense is that it's but a small part you chose to show here. but what if it'll take even less to live all of you? that is not a god relating to the waking life, so you can file it away as rhetorical.
from z0tl :
and don't you love the idea that living is but dilly-dallying, waiting to die? scratch that, because i only asked for one god, not two.
from z0tl :
someday i wanna ask you a god about waking life. that day is today: was he killed by the car in "reality" or was it only a dream within the dream within the dream within the question?
from z0tl :
say hello to yertle for me.
from z0tl :
maybe, i will worship you in perpetuity.
from dcalienz :
You have my empathy. The plan you have sounds like a good one. Now it is my turn to say I care. Sometimes warm fuzzy towels have no strings attached, and want nothing more than to be a towel. I think it is courage that allows a direct look at a situation. I think you have courage. *hugs*
from occipitalobe :
Cheer up, buttercup. Might I recommend listening to Kid A and talking with someone close about things you've never told ayone, like childhood confusion and recurring dreams? Shut up, I'm not emo-This Charming Man
from tithonus :
:( I like the economy analogy, though. :) Tell me, how important do you feel growth, progress and the like are in your life?
from z0tl :
*cupped hands holding water for dried elips*
from lasirene :
I love your watercolors. Especially the middle one of the small, brown figure with the raindrops coming down. It looks like it should be on the top of a magical box.
from z0tl :
i am. tho not necessarily from your perspective. also glad to see you so well taken care of by the allied forces of dlandia.
from raven72d :
My favorite things are hiding and avoidance.
from tithonus :
There's no fixing of anything, my love, :( But it's good too - because everything's always fluxing instead, and you don't have to do anything to make it happen. Anyone who wants you to be a stranger is on the steep part of the slope to madness, anyway. ;)
from dcalienz :
Losing a friend can be painful. Soggy carpeting reminds me of having a thorn in my foot. I can still walk only it won't be right til it is removed. I don't mean to repeat myself, just to say that I care and am there. *hugs*
from z0tl :
hmmm... maybe :z
from z0tl :
yes.
from dcalienz :
I did not know the lengths that dna could go. Whether stretched to encompass a solar system, or left in double helix, yours I think is capable of embracing a universe. You have a touch that heals. Sometimes a soul stretched wide is thin. I am sure you are aware of that. There is power in your words to allow me to see past myself. Thank you for being who you are.
from z0tl :
was that as weird for you as it was for me?
from z0tl :
dam wirez in the skyz, can't have a private thought anymore! :]
from dcalienz :
Most anything is better than numb. Unless of course surgery is being performed. *hug*
from z0tl :
from z0tl :
from z0tl :
but still, it feels refreshingly liquid, yet solid in its stance.
from z0tl :
from z0tl :
sometimes i can't do it perfectly, i'd be like ...
from z0tl :
from z0tl :
that's my way of saying nothing and listening to you saying nothing back.
from z0tl :
from tithonus :
Oh, and just read your entry. I feel sad for your appendage. :( As for the things inside and outside of our control, um, what is it that I think? The important things are always outside of our control, and yet, somehow really the most important thing is not to try and be in control of anything. I don't know how to put it. A while ago I asked you if I'd spoken about Adam Phillips to you at all. The thing he says about obstacles is that we don't know what we're doing until an obstacle gets in the way of us doing it; so the obstacle is actually a great gift because without it we wouldn't be doing anything. Except he says much more than that and he says it much better. Maybe I can find a copy on the net...
from tithonus :
Aww, thankyou. :) You always know exactly what to say. Or rather, whatever it is you say always seems like exactly the right thing. :)
from donnaisblue :
yes, constantly.
from dcalienz :
I beg to differ. You are not one who says nothing. In fact you are one who says everything. While good to see you say you care, I must say I learned that in the words you wrote before. Your words freely given are like pictures of silver in frames of gold.
from z0tl :
i concur!
from pillow-wept :
(you are beautiful) x
from z0tl :
it has become ever so complicated just to leave a note. hi. this is a note just to say hi and wish you a pleasant week with easy in|out breathing and all. no ultimatums, no pressure. hi.
from dcalien :
Hope you got some of that sleep. I am glad you enjoyed the notes. After I had written, I thought perhaps I should not have said what I said, I see you took them the way I meant them, so I am glad I did.
from raven72d :
Thai is a wonderful little stuffling!! Tell me about him.
from eve-elle :
wow, 167 problems solved huh? and in one week?!thats pretty amazing. do you give classes? motivational speeches?! i want to jump on the elipsis bandwagon and solve me some problems!!
from smokinblues :
interesting your use of the word universe...does this come from a specific belief system or lack of one? just curious...
from z0tl :
that was eggsactly it. thanks so much. have a nice weekend. see you down the stream.
from raven72d :
I've missed hearing from you!
from z0tl :
hi. your art of being is beautiful. how do you make it look liquid like that, yet interact so solidly with the surroundings? you were elusive again, undeniably drawn to some cheap wine, no doubt. long time no see. longer time will pass until a change in that condition. if war is what'll take for you to send your freshly baked notez, war will structure itself to provide the ingredients. thank you for somehow showing my colors to demi-monde. she showed me rainbows in exchange. i prolly said enough :z
from dcalienz :
Hope you got your three other hours. I believe the universal laws are rather loosely enforced, even the more strict ones like gravity and such are suspended depending on your perspective. If you should need a lawyer, I may not be one though I play one in my dreams. OH and all my work is pro bono. :)
from z0tl :
you said leave them moths alone, now look at that juice blender overflowing... screw the rules of the universe, the entz of war are pondering some improbability for this quadrant. be sleeping peacefully, dreamcatchers have been deployed for your safetyness, queen maybeline or maybecircle.
from dcalien :
I have no desire to play with the intricasies however that is spelled of semantics. Ahead linear tangential. growth in what ever plane seems a good positive thing which comes with a cost. I am not talking down to you here. It is hard to express emotion with words for me. In fact I consider myself inferior to you linguistically. no matter. I like you, and I enjoy your words.
from z0tl :
Don't forget to send im...
from raven72d :
Don't forget to send e-mail...
from raven72d :
I think everyone needs a Spirograph! My little nieceling (age 4) and I play with hers whenever I babysit. She brings the Spirograph, I bring paper and colored pens.
from introibo :
i enjoy your journal very thoroughly. :)
from raven72d :
I've never been a fan of Kurt Vonnegut. But I do think that you need a Spirograph.
from mobiuslife :
It must be fate since Catís Cradle is the very Vonnegut I would have recommended. I am interested to see how you like it. Hippity hoppity skippity boppity we all fall down.
from z0tl :
back to work dammit! holes everywheres! at least my thirst is temporarily quenched. ty.
from elipsis :
curiouser and curiouser... i think we're in the same rabbit hole, z0tl...
from z0tl :
hip-hip-mind-meld! yay!
from z0tl :
hahaahahha. that was weird.
from z0tl :
mobiuslessness. anyway, hi, are you? my lips are dry. i could use one of your liquid concoctions. ty. :z
from mobiuslife :
If you have not already then you must read Vonnegut. A linear path is for sissies. The only good that comes from thinking of life as a linear path is that it allows those precious few who are brave enough to be tangential. And when they are it makes them easier to spot. You should just choose to be. If you analyze too much yourself and your actions then you run the risk of forever existing in that state just as a quantum particle subjected to measurement and defined at that moment to exist as only a wave or a particle. Live as the dichotomy. Choose both.
from z0tl :
as you were, lips, all we're saying is that we expected your arrival and now that we're seeing it structuring itself, we're so very glad it's you. maybe you won't have to worry about the moths that much, just keep your liquids spinning.
from dcalienz :
I hope you are doing well. You wrote pretty seriously. I want to ask you a question so I will. Could I have a pic of you to put in my fotolog? You can see it from my fotolog link in dcalien without the z. It is mostly people from dland. ok bye then haha I am being assaulted with im and can't hardly finish this note.
from z0tl :
apparently alien has discovered that we were in the liquids market before you were born. it's all documented somewhere in my poetrix chain and alien has left me the key to find it in my notes.
from dcalien :
*hugs* :)
from z0tl :
i won't tell you about warz anymore because rumor is the queen wants everyone to 'just lighten up.' i'm trying to do my wee part and send my vassals your way. you should have very low expectations there, turns out most people like to do the opposite of what they're told. have a nice 50% remaining of the weekend :z
from decemberguy :
Just finished your mixtape..you should be getting it soon!! Hope you like polka...
from dcalien :
oh how cool to see hovergirl in your notes. I like her quite a lot. Your last entry is so hmmm revealing i guess is the word I want. I would not be disappointed to know that you are human and not like some super being if that makes sense to you.
from hovergirl :
i like that in you which is also in me. i like that which makes us alike. i like the things you say, those which make me feel not so alone in my thoughts. you've shifted my perceptions into a slightly different angle, and i thank you for that, because it is special and sacred, not like most things, which are overplayed and dry. this really wasn't what i was thinking, but it is as close as i can get right now.
from raven72d :
A Spirograph. You really, really need a Spirograph.
from z0tl :
i am tone deaf, my voice is ducky, but your highness' wish is my command: bessame, bessame mucho ... so many rugged places to have adventure we can find, but ... bessame ... why don't we sit right here and now ... bessame mucho ... and sip some of your exquisite liquidness while we stare at that blade of grass until dew happens to it? mucho? ... i do believe i'm drunk :z
from dcalien :
I still ... hmmm I still ... have much to say about ... certain things....
from pillow-wept :
(thank you. so much.) x
from raven72d :
The long coat definitely works... Now-- shorts and a tank top *can* work at soirees in Paris if you're tall, leggy, and disdainful enough... But what constitutes "spiffy" for you? [I apply "spiffy" to the leather aviator helmets and white silk scarves worn by Small Messenger Capybaras on their courier journeys by flying boat and autogyro...]
from raven72d :
I've never put "pina colada" and "Mother Theresa" together in a sentence 'til now... Okay-- long coat and running shoes. Each seems useful, but how do they mix? You'll need more than $US 300... That's only a couple of nights in a Tokyo coffin hotel.
from tithonus :
"I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail..." Have I talked to you before about Adam Phillips and obstacles?
from orpheusd0wn :
Are you not or aren't we all? At the end of the day, the snail that tries its best to find something to cling to is just as likely to get smashed. The snail that would rather be smashed could very well wind up safe and on dry ground. Such is life.
from caezar :
brilliant...i have been wondering about this too, the likeness of polar opposites, the mirror, the ease from which one can sway from one thing to another...
from z0tl :
** galactic warz newz ** the rim stalkers have emerged from a few singularities known as the range where energy levels are millions of times higher than regular space densities allow for. once in normal space, their tranport vehicles have expanded to form solar systems in the ankaran sector. the zotl contiuum has done nothing as they view the ankaran sector angularly from a tesseract present or not present, depending on the angle. however, there are mules constructed from ancient zotl manuals by the zentaxians who are highly sought after by evil empires across galactic systems because they can provide transport to the elixirian rings, but only when the rider has been infused with tritonic amber liquified in "moth juice" - the street name for z0radium. thus the levels of guilt are rising on both sides, so brown matter is bound to hit the reactor blades. s oo n.
from decemberguy :
Sure..just drop an addy to [email protected] and I'll be sure to send one out to ya..btw, deep snow is very pretty.
from dcalienz :
I think you may have no trouble waiting. I have so many things to say to you, and I do not have the time to say them now as I am about to go out and save a portion of the free world. Oh I just can't hardly wait. I am so excited, I may have to sit on my hands to keep from clapping. Excuse me. That was quite an outburst. I will now assume a calm exterior. I wonder if that is what you mean by inside out orbitals. I know you said windex can clean up a sentence. I have to say with no cryptics and in plain language that I love your subtlety in concept linkage between the things you write. I am not sure I succeeded in plain language there.
from flamingbird :
Glad to see you added the drip....You have a lovely face, and a beautiful puppy!! Nature, what a wonderful thought. Makes me want to play too.
from gods :
we solidly hear your liquidity.
from z0tl :
nature abhorrs nekkid singularities :) hawking said it, i repeat it, i don't believe it. cosmonology = going thru revolutions like me to the bathroom. it all seems pretty fascinating tho ... woohoot! read your IM someday.
from tathagres :
that is just beautiful... i read all the time and never know what to say. except thankyou.
from z0tl :
note****** i tend to associate more with nebulas, but i'll hang around your cluster for as long as you tolerate. i love your profile. everything else too :) thx for bringing it back from the war zone for me :z
from dcalien :
"pushing my sentences to be more clever than honest and... well.... here you go. this is me. i'm so imperfect it makes me smile." Of all the things in this entry that I wanted to comment on....I abandoned them all to quote you in your notes. Here is a sentence that transcends clever by it's honesty. Your words inspire me to......"maybe" St. Johns giving tree? From north of you? leaving gifts for others at Christmas?
from z0tl :
my anthill is not ready to have friendly relations with another. isolationism fits it perfectly. ant designers, inc. is a corporate structure. the worst performing anthills are those placed in charge of the bureaucrats. you should see the work the engineers have done. every goddam feature has been designed into the anthill, no fucking ant can ever use it. hahaha. more info than you really requested. i want my _personalized_ war news soon :)
from tithonus :
Mmm, love the pic. :) I'm in the city right now but once I get home you can be sure I'll produce a corrupted version. :)
from z0tl :
i wanna weep on this pillow.
from pillow-wept :
(god. im so in love / awe with your writing. its rare that im so taken by someones words..and you do that for me. thank you. its truly inspiring...truly. ) x
from z0tl :
do you have the correct plugins for sex with vega (alpha lyrae)? she's been going around using 40 other names, if you've seen her tell her to please come home. is sex with a star cheating the human condition?
from z0tl :
es posible (for lack of other trademarked words) you only imagined owning a perspective from which you don't exist, for you can only own your own perspective in which you always do. but don't we all love analogies now? i'm giddy your weekend involved the industrial noise enhanced hancock experience and the starz, omg, the starz! i think i begin to know what you mean :)
from z0tl :
literally, you went away in the middle of our yahoo chat ... sort of ... hope you had a nice weekend :)
from pillow-wept :
"dishwater delight" is such an amazing entry. seriously. i hate leaving kiss-ass notes for people--but wow. i dont know--i guess it just caught me and drug me in. nice work. (and camus and hesse....niiiiiice!) xx
from tithonus :
That was... I like the new diary. :) Thankyou for your note - sorry I haven't answered it, the real world has been keeping me away from the internet, I wish you lived closer and we could be rl friends instead of having this shadow-world connection... my dad is on the phone and it's distracting me... um, wanted to say something about touch. I know what you mean about never touching anyone. I hardly ever touch anyone, but sometimes someone will touch my arm in conversation or something and it's like, BOOM! WOW!!! What the hell was that!!! Um, yeah, and I love it, but, ah, god, sorry this phone call of my father's is going to win and I'm going to stop. :|
from z0tl :
a lot more war news that i bargained for. and liquids. just drink more liquids. and wrong them!
from z0tl :
you are so elusive :z
from kant :
In line? I thought I was posting haphazard thoughts in a haphazard entry. Thanks for the credit. By the way, sweet website. Pretty. There. End inanity.
from smokinblues :
if i had to guess, a dog on a leash is probably happy that the leash will keep him from getting hit by a car.
from z0tl :
also, thank you for maybe crowning me as the crowner of the crowned queen. embraced fully.
from z0tl :
i just discovered tithonus is like france. he has veto power. but i think that was for contracts in this realm of this plane, so we're still exempt. i'll now say what everyone else is saying: you got yourself a spanky nice new layout, missy. can you go on without a daily infusion of war news? i can't. but i have to.
from dcalienz :
I can still *get* there, sometimes, but I'm always aware that I'm visiting.... an imposter. From your third entry I think. Said not making sense. Does to me.
from z0tl :
i crown you as the queen of maybe. maybe you have e-lips. maybe awesome deaths await us. maybe we're assbackwards and can't devise an experiment to prove it. maybe you skipped a plane yesterday and everyone's still here for you, but you aren't there for them there. maybe i should write shorter notes. maybe i wasn't drunk when i married you :)
from z0tl :
i secretly can't shake the 'i really wanna see a nuclear weapon detonate somewhere' feeling and i really, really should try getting rid of it because stuff tends to go my way lately both at macro and micro levels and i really shouldn't want to see that happen, but still secretly ... goddam it! let arrogance meet stupidity and see who wins, eh? tell me we're all precious and worth saving from having a peek at self-annihilation. tell me. you make sense to me.
from ayudar :
oh you poor thing. sorry bout your car. i'm glad you made it out ok though.
from ayudar :
oh you poor thing. sorry bout your car. i'm glad you made it out ok though.
from z0tl :
hmmm? very german requiem like. no speculation, just know the password and enter it in whatever closest resembles sand at the time. maybe granite, maybe ionized gas, maybe *no words for it* - just like that :) meanwhile, i was expecting some war news, i get all that stuff from you exclusively, i don't trust cnn.
from dcalienz :
I am so glad when I read the note you left me. I left it open ended about your comments, and you were kind in explaining both their meaning, and the motivation behind the links. So I will return that, haha now that sounds like a bargain. Not my intent. You expressed the possibility of being wrong in your assessment of the two diaries, well I never thought of it that way, though I believe you are right about the blue one being a more ok I will use my word here a more direct link to my inner thoughts. I believe you said clear. Probably the same thing. I have referred to the emporers' new clothes so many times over the years, and I had given up on anyone ever having an idea what I was talking about. Obviously I had not talked to you. I smile because of that. So much to be learned from that tale. I am so pleased to be compared to the child in the story. Once again, never thought of that till you said it. Awareness from the words of elipsis. I am so pleased. -dave
from tithonus :
Good god. I'm glad you're alright. I'm glad you feel glad to be alright, too. :)
from z0tl :
you sealed it with the last word, hmmm? so when you'll scribble an ellipsoid in the sand and the other will inscribe a circle in it, the resulting eye shall be the witness and we'll know our scheduled time is there. just like that :)
from hauntedmind :
Never stop writing. Ever.
from z0tl :
is it tithonus?-)
from dcalienz :
Probing for questions. Interesting comments. thanks for adding me to your list. I never really expected anyone to add this diary. It is hmmm a secondary one. with primary function maybe. Thanks tho cause it got me into yours, and your writing is hmmmm well I like it. I read a lot of it at once. I won't pretend to understand what your comments for me mean. I would like to hear it tho if you want to tell it. -dave
from z0tl :
will you marry me? you know how my schedule looks like, if you can fit it in yours. you turn at an angle, i negotiate the corner in the circular path, it will be a moment structured in beauty and symmetry. *8*
from tithonus :
*has mental picture of a tiny set of theatrical curtains in front of each of elipsis' ears* And, uh, I'm sure you didn't really look like a boy...
from z0tl :
check out my notes, i think you just got married :)
from smokinblues :
very true. i couldn't do it. i'd have offered saddam france by now. so i figure i'll just drink beer and watch porn. that way if i do get turned to dust i'll either be drunk or happy at the time. lol.
from z0tl :
would you teach me how to become elemental sometimes?
from smokinblues :
okay, two new entries posted, the last why i don't think war is such a bad thing. I'm not in the best of moods today, so it's probably a little harsher than i would normally word things. but it makes my point i think
from smokinblues :
well, the gist of it is in one of my earlier entries. but there is probably more to be said. Some time later tonight I'll post a more thorough entry on the subject. hope all is well.
from tithonus :
I cut my own hair. Just grab a big chunk of hair that's annoying you, and hack it off. It actually works surprisingly well. :)
from eve-elle :
haha i guess i havent found the 'right' shampoo yet either!!
from drufus :
hey, our weekends were almost identical. i also saw daredevil and marched for peace in lansing, and then hung out with family. we must be cosmic twins or something.
from smokinblues :
Hi, found your diary from 'orpheusd0wns'. Read some of your entries. I especially agree with what you said about people being to busy with minutia to get involved with current events. I disagree with you about the war stuff. But no matter...I enjoy what I've read so far. Hope all is well.
from occipitalobe :
My name is Matt and I go to MSU and I'm 21 and I'm a cancer and I have a twin brother and I'm left-handed and I have flat feet and I like music and I like art and I live on Stoddard and I have a messy bedroom in the basement and I'm moving to Philadelphia in June for an internship and the aesthetics of this sentence structure are a lot like the ones that you won't find in my diary.
from z0tl :
your words are far more interesting than mine. v-day afterglow sure sounds great. i've always liked personal holidays better. thx.
from tithonus :
I like the way you write drunk, too. :)
from eve-elle :
as per usual, that was really good. australians arent big on valentines day, but it still manages to make everyone feel like crap. i really enjoyed reading that. made me feel a lot better. and i reckon one of your un-hallmark cards would kick arse and take over the whole card making market!! thank-you, sara x
from z0tl :
you like waking life, you like zebra ... mmmm, zzzz, vvvv, you tickle me the right wayz :) i'll leave a bookmark here.
from tithonus :
Nah, I disagree - the world needs builders more than wreckers. There really are plenty of people trying to knock the foundation out from under things - and don't know what to do next when they succeed. As for... um, the other thing, um. At the points of that ellipsis then I answered the phone and spent half an hour talking to someone and now I have no idea what that second point was going to be. :|
from dearcynthia :
wow.. hi.. i just now saw that you listed me in one of your favorite entries.. i'm flattered. and i wanted to say thank you so much. :)
from oily-night :
and by the way the way you write sends coils of steam up my spine and suddenly strange doors are opened
from oily-night :
thank you for the secret coves of rome. i will explore this. and thank you for your kindness. your diary is splendid and electrical and i plan on continuing to read it like the morning paper! it's true. Did you know we're in the same town? Well, I'm in Lansing....not East Lansing, but it's basically the same location....or did you already know that? I'm off to struggle the snow....thanks again
from throwingjuly :
you may not want to be helped, but maybe you can help..i wrote a couple entries ago about my idea for a theater of the senses, and it is going to tap precisely into that elemental vein, in particular the ocean. it is room gone completely dark and the sound of the ocean playing softly at first, then getting louder until it completely overwhelms, then recedes, growing softer, so that a drum (or two) may kick in, playing deeply so that the body vibrates in resonence. a light may be flashed, projecting shadows but illuminating nothing. the scent of the ocean will waft around....this is about all i have, and it needs work. a lot if it. if you're interested, e-mail me at [email protected] i'd love all the imput i could get in making this truly fleshed out, instead of some pambey mediocrity.
from flamingbird :
What have I learned, will I ever win? I am a firm believer in the journey of the soul, and to quote a friend....(aurenna.diaryland.com)"the soul would be lonely without knowledge". if you are no longer learning, no longer seeking wisdom, no longer growing inwards, then you are dead. Like you said....not being able to say anything with certainty...it's okay. And knowing that, means you have already won.
from tithonus :
Ah, it always feels weird to say this, but, uh, you know I love you, right? Just, um, you know, letting you know. :)
from kant :
Oh. Hey, by the way, thanks for the note on the Guestbook. Concerning Brahms, I haven't heard his work in a long time, but I'm sure I'd recognize the German Requiem if I heard it. I'll go check to see if I've got it on record, or download it, or God forbid, buy it. Thanks for giving me a diary to check out. Reading material online tends to suck.
from tithonus :
Consider it promised. :)
from pigfly :
Thanks for the note. I enjoy your diary tremendously. I only wish you would update more often, but don't we all? Take care.
from eve-elle :
confront your ghosts i say! i was confronted by a ghost, twice. they both turned out to be the loveliest people and one of them is now one of my greatest friends. we can now combine forces and rock the whole building. we tried to spread our love to another girl who lived by herself on the other side of me, but she wants to remain a ghostly ghost. meh, her loss.
from tithonus :
And who's this amthystrkstr who thinks he's marrying you? I DEMAND RIGHT OF FIRST REFUSAL ON ANY SPONTANEOUS INTERNET MARRIAGE!!!!
from tithonus :
Your ghosts? Brave girl. Good luck with that. :)
from throwingjuly :
Thanks and same to you. -Nicole
from amthystrkstr :
what are you doing this weekend? want to get married? but seriously, I was actually read an old issue of adbusters minutes before I read your note. the coincidence blew me away. Thanks again.
from flamingbird :
I'm glad I could help.You made perfect sense. You are too kind. It's merely my life, snapshots of words.Simplicity works best for me.I really like the way you say something, but I have to think about it, realy think about it. it's not just you and what you did, it's what you think/feel/stand for. your diary is one of the few that has soul.
from throwingjuly :
your entries continue to amaze me. that dream sounds incredible. i had one recently where i literally flipped out of this reality into another one of complete harmony and understanding that lay just to the side of ours, in the shade of a desert. it was wonderful, though i remember nothing about it. as far as the protest goes, i felt absolutely compelled to join it, like it was part of my duty as a US citizen. and i agree about the moment of silence...a mass silence would probably do more than the shouting of all the slogans and anti-war/pro-war cliches combined.
from dearcynthia :
It's scary [and sometimes comforting] how predictable the human psyche is. It's been studied so much that.. no matter how *different* and *unusual* your situation is, it's actually all been done before. Stuff like, people like me will marry and choose their partner in the hopes of building the exact OPPOSITE type of home that they grew up with. But then living with him, I started to see traits of my mother in him, and I panicked for fear of repeating my childhood. So I began to RESENT him. Even worse, *I* started acting like my mother, yelling at him, and sometimes the exact same words she would yell at me. I thought it was a highly unsual phenomenon and I felt so alone, isolated, and terrified over it. And I felt like an absolute monster. But then I read a book saying how this exact same thing is very COMMON. [I wrote a long entry about this once.] They're writing books about me, and I didn't even know it.. :)
from moonrattles :
a very nice note, and needed. Thank you. Ever feel like you are 10 years behind the rest of the population?
from flamingbird :
Every body has a hidden agenda. Unfortunately at times those agendas can seem twisted, outrageous, proposterous and vile.But not to those advocating it.The trick is not letting the actions or agendas of others diminsh your sense of self or take away the feeling that you can make a difference. It takes guts to stand by your convctions.No matter how futile it may seem.
from throwingjuly :
the space inside and out, breathing to fill your lungs and to expand your heart, communicating across miles of a surrealist's inner world just to talk to the person sitting next to you...i just wanted to mention Antonin Artaud to you, as your writing kind of sounds a little like him, though a little more grounded. while its more than likely you already know about him, i just wanted to throw it out there just in case.
from tithonus :
Good for you for going. I'm sad and frustrated with the whole thing, but, you know, the world was ever thus... maybe it's getting better and these disasters are a catalyst for our learning? Hope so... :(
from eve-elle :
thank you! i understand the need to get things sorted, i have been slowly sorting myself lately. have a good day!
from mobiuslife :
You used the word "hubris" in one of your entries, and that to me is a treatise on love.
from eve-elle :
hooray! good to see your name in red. hope you had a lovely restful and happy christmas/new years break. And i understand the clean appartment high. I am messy and lazy by habit but anal by nature..its a confusing way to be. i go from mega pigstye to beautiful appartment one week to another..when its clean i wonder why i dont keep it that way all the time and when its messy i cant be bothered to tidy...crazy. anyway, glad you're back :)
from fieryswallow :
Well, to be honest, you have A LOT to say. It certainly isn't nothing...not in that sense....don't underestimate the beauty of your words....I liked your thoughts on Love...especially the part about when it's over, you hope he at least tells you it was fun. I had an ex who once told me I was an adventure...one of the strangest and excitting adventures he had ever been on. And yes, it feels fantastic to hear someone say things like that to you...especially when it's almost a year after a very nasty break-up.
from drufus :
hey. it's a small world. i met luscious a couple times... i used to date a guy who lives in new community. i immediately was intrigued by Lush b/c he had a juliana hatfield poster on his wall and JH is one of my favorite artists ever... and also b/c, well, he has a pretty bitchin' name. so yeah. thats the story. have a nice holiday.
from drufus :
hey. it's a small world. i met luscious a couple times... i used to date a guy who lives in new community. i immediately was intrigued by Lush b/c he had a juliana hatfield poster on his wall and JH is one of my favorite artists ever... and also b/c, well, he has a pretty bitchin' name. so yeah. thats the story. have a nice holiday.
from eve-elle :
hi i just had to come back and say how after reading your diary yesterday, i went on to have a really good night, enjoying the little free things in life that i forget to smile about sometimes. thanks again!
from eve-elle :
just passing time at work, found your diary through favourites of my favourites..i can see why you're so special now. i love the way you write. and i love your taste in films! thank you.
from fieryswallow :
you say such sweet nothings...I wracked my brain looking for the right words to describe your diary, and drew a blank, nothing sounded quite right. I find myself pulled to your words, like the arrow on a compass is pulled to the north. But even that doesn't cut it. So I simply left it blank...for now.
from moonrattles :
wonderful, wonderful. Thank you. I am glad to be the one to tell you about Borges and thrilled that you are enjoying it (I had to read them several times, as well. You have to work for these stories..) And thank you for your note of congratulations and luck.
from tithonus :
Yes, it does. :) NOW WHERE'S MY PIC!!!! >:[
from tithonus :
Please, PLEASE send me a pic for me to corrupt! It doesn't have to be decent; my genius will compensate for any deficiency in the photograph. ;)
from dearcynthia :
wow. just found you. i love how you write. and i love how you think. and also, if i could fit five more movies into my favorites, i would list the EXACT same ones.
from eatthestars :
It may sound unexciting but there is no other way I want to say it: I really loved your last entry.
from tithonus :
Wow. Love it. I've been thinking a lot about choices and decisions and whatnot lately - this is a lovely fresh perspective for me to devour. ;)
from tithonus :
*sighs* Ah, it's good to have your diary, it really is. :)
from eatthestars :
I could not have better explained what I wish language could be. You stole the pumpkin pie right out of my mouth.
from moonrattles :
I loved "cream soda." I often think of the seemingly endless potential of objects despite their very limited intentions. They seem to have a soul of their own. If dogs and cats can go to doggie and kitty heaven, why not paper cups and broken appliances to their own respective heavens? Not literally, but rather in our abstract ruminations on them; in the stories we tell out children to make them feel better? Ah well. I wanted to tell you about a Borges story about a planet. The N Hemisphere had no nouns, only strings of descriptive, textural words to place them. Likewise, the southern hemisphere had no adjectives, only strings of nouns that lent descriptive essence to objects. Unfortuanately, I forgot the name of the story and loaned out the book. The story is named after the planet, though, and can be found in _Labyrinths_ if you are interested. Thanks for the thoughts and the note about the leaves on those MI trees. It makes me a little bit homesick. B.
from tithonus :
Think of the paper cup this way: matter can be neither created nor destroyed. Once it was part of a star, now it's a cup. Parts of it might become earth, which might become a tree, or a clay sculpture, or something entirely unimaginable... in the long run, the cup's future is just as bright as your own. :)
from orpheusd0wn :
A friend of mine once told me that the perfect language would be one without symbols, but only pure meanings. The trick to wanting anything is simplifying your approach. You may want to be happy, but happiness, like all things, is not a permanent condition, which is a good thing. So why not then want a cold beer, or a liquor drink? Or a milkshake, or anything else that ever scratched an itch. Less you let anything be complicated, the less it will be, because all of life is how you look at it.
from tithonus :
So beautiful. Thankyou.
from tithonus :
and... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *big happy birthday hugs*
from tithonus :
Um, diurnal. Nocturnal would be too... um, invariant? You know, the light changes over the course of the day, whereas the night is... although, come to think of it, the night sky is probably more interesting than the day sky. Or is it... clouds vs stars. Um, it's a hard choice. I think I want to stay as I am, changing between notcurnal and diurnal on a regular basis... Oh, wait, I think I was meant to be writing about this in my diary...
from moonrattles :
Hi! Surprised and pleased and may i add, Happy Birthday! i was born in Lapeer. Yours is the first MI diary I've come across. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, as I do every fall. I miss the trees turning. This year we are having some freakish weather down in TX, resulting in displays to rival the ones I am always begging my grandma to send me photos of this time of year. I hope to catch up on your entries tomorrow. I was really amused by the few I read today. Check out Orpheusd0wn and Lightfallsup. They are up there with Shesajar in my book, though very different. Thanks so much for the note, by the way. I don't think I've said that yet, but it was unexpected and very pleasurable to find. :) 'night.
from tithonus :
Thankyou for the note and thankyou for the favourites comment... I am smiling a big silly smile, all big and silly. :)
from tithonus :
This might seem like a strange question, but, what purpose does the list of trivial grievances serve? I mean, I believe the answer isn't "none", otherwise it wouldn't be there. So, I guess another way to put that question is, what does it produce? What does it defend? What does it allow and what does it prevent? If that makes any sense...
from tithonus :
It's good to have you back. :)
from amthystrkstr :
*can't*
from amthystrkstr :
You. I swear, I think I know you already, if only because we share the same mindscape. Reading your old entries, I keep thinking "yeah!" "wow!" "Hey, *I* thought that too!" And after reading your most recent one, I was floored. I doubt you read this entry in my diary because it's buried so far back, but check out the one called "When I get old..." It's from this past July and it's maybe the 4th or 5th thing I wrote. Our two lists just flow together seamlessly. I can find words to describe how amazing I find that to be.
from amthystrkstr :
Damn you! You keep saying what I want to say, but you keep saying it better! :)
from amthystrkstr :
Thanks for finding my diary, because it has lead me to yours. I like the way your mind works.
from tithonus :
Thankyou. :) Hope I didn't bring you down. :( I'll be over it soon, I'm sure. :\
from tithonus :
Thanks for offering to be an ear... I'll tell you all about it once I get around to writing you properly. Much love to you.
from tithonus :
You've never hurt me, in fact, I'd say you've never failed to do the opposite. :) I know what you're saying about forgiveness, though - I wonder myself whether I've ever actually forgiven someone, rather than just smothering my feelings about them or avoiding the question in some other way. However, don't rely on me to make any great discoveries - I don't know if you'd be able to forgive me if I disappointed you. ;)
from tithonus :
Hooray, you came back! *claps hands and jumps up and down and around and around*
from itylus :
Where have you disappeared to? Come Back!!!
from itylus :
Hey... just thought I'd let you know that I've written you a proper email but I can't get into my account. : ( It's 3 in the morning and I have to see my supervisor at 11... so I'm going to stop trying and send it to you tomorrow...
from starlight99 :
hey, i found your diary through itylus'. It made me feel better to hear someone older than me still gallops up the stairs on all fours ;) Now I dont feel so silly that i still do it... I thought that when I turned 20 (in a few weeks) I wouldn't have any excuse to still be acting like that. though I didn't have any intention of stopping! :)
from itylus :
That's so beautiful... now I have a picture of you in my head, running up stairs on all fours with a crazy great grin on your face...
from itylus :
Oh... I wish I could say some magic words that would make it all better. To paraphrase something someone once said to me... I don't think any guy is good enough for you, and to think of some egomaniac telling you he's sloughing you off... the world's all topsy-turvy, I reckon. I'd volunteer to be your "good friend" but sadly I think the other requirement may be a little difficult for me to fulfill. ; )
from jen7 :
Thank you for leaving me such a nice note. :) I think you're being too kind but it brightened up my day. :) "I'm the biggest tyrant in my life" is a kickass line...and your entry today reminded me of the funniest things. When i think back to Christmas when i was younger, i don't remember bickering or not wanting to go out into the cold to cut down a tree with the whole freaking family (although yeah, totally, those things happened), i remember about how our dog was so happy and yet so confused by the sheer number of trees he had available for marking. Gave it a good college try, too. And the non-matching schizophrenic tree lights...we had those, too, and i love them. I think all trees must be real and smell nice and leave annoying needles everywhere and have 500 different colored non-matching lights. Those monochromatic tree decorations that match each other perfectly, bleargh, who needs it!? Okay, sorry, enough babbling for now. :) Really do like your entries (and i know how you feel with item 2 from your 12/7 entry...the same thing used to happen to me. I don't understand why i did or why i later didn't, and couldn't put it into such cogent words as you did, but i'd bet it's not so uncommon...)
from itylus :
Hey there... I think I might have, um, that is, we might have, uh, you know, where those small misunderstandings gets magnified into a bigger misunderstanding? Um, like, a comedy of errors? Anyway, I guess what I was trying to say was that I didn't want to make you feel bad, and, what you were saying (or at least part of what you were saying) was that you didn't want to make me feel bad... I think this is why life gets so messy when people care about each other... because you worry more about what might upset someone else than you normally would about what would upset you... only natural, but naturally capable of producing all sorts of mountains out of molehills. So, the answer, obviously: people should stop caring about each other! ; ) Or, maybe there's a problem with that solution. I wonder what it might be? Anyway, you are one of my favourite people in the whole world, so how's that for a coincidence?
from itylus :
Wait, what did I say? Make you feel "undone"! Oh, no, no, that's not what I intended at all! If you'd rather not bring other people into this, I promise I'll stop reading your diary. I mean, you say it's "not fair", but you shouldn't worry about its effect on me or anyone else who reads it; it's your diary, after all. What I make of it is my responsibility. ; ) It's just that, I just wanted to warn you that making such a hard, unforgiving task for yourself as revealing some secret shame in every entry might drive you away from the diary altogether, and to be careful not to push yourself too hard. I mean, I probably reveal something I am ashamed of once every twenty entries or so, but only when I really feel like it. I was just trying to be sympathetic - and now I'm terrified that I've come across as an overbearing monster, telling you what you are and aren't allowed to write! Please, forgive me, and I promise I will never interfere in your writing process again.
from itylus :
Hooray, it worked! Um, what I wanted to say was, I think you might be going too far. I mean, it's your diary and all, but if you're going to reveal a depp, dark secret in every entry, you might find that you dread your diary and hate writing in it. Um, I don't know, I don't want to tell you how to run your own diary... although I am an "old hand". ; ) Yeah, anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Oh, and welcome aboard!

back to elipsis's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland

Recently updated
News
update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

Sign up for paid membership if you want!

Users online