messages to erato:
(click here to add new message):

from fuck-me :
so long ago
from exoristos :
Have you killed her? My Erato? There seem only five entries here.
from raven72d :
I hope the winter stars over the Peruvian uplands are vur' beautiful for you tonight.
from raven72d :
Merry Christmas-- Joyeux Noel!
from raven72d :
Actually, it's unclear whether O does kill herself. He only gives her permission to... And Reage did write "Return to the Chateau"... But-- no 2006 business cards for you? Not even Japanese hana-meishi?
from raven72d :
Why did you give up the StoryOfO diary? And when will get one of your business cards?
from raven72d :
09 October 06--- I would so love one of your "International Woman of Mystery" cards...
from raven72d :
01 October 2006... I'm glad you've posted again. I've missed your entries. I've been reading you now for...four years? Five? You're an alluring find... And one day I must send you my meishi. I'd feel honoured if you had my card somewhere.
from permeation :
thank you.
from raven72d :
12 July 06... Do post again soon. One does miss your stories.
from protoplast :
I've battled my own demons and he gets jealous that I could give it up so easily. I made up my mind and stuck to it. I didn't need to go to rehab. * * Ummm...so, a bunch of people added me as a contact in flickr and i didn't pay attention to which one was you. i'm lazy and don't want to go through them again. send me an email from flickr.
from raven72d :
Do update soon...
from protoplast :
I've always been more of a loyal dog kind of person. I do have a cat who wanders the city and comes home whenever he hears my car, but I don't love him as much as I love my dogs. I might just use that analogy next time we have that conversation.
from protoplast :
He sat on the side of the pool smoking a cigarrette and drinking his drink while I swam and waded in the water. We hashed and rehashed the terms of our relationship. He listed off all his conquests and said he believed I had been holding back from him. That certainly my nights don't end the way I say they do. I do want to be his everything girl. I don't want him to want anything more. Because on most Sundays I don't want anything more. As we talked, every time he said anything I despised I swam farther away from him. If he was saying something I didn't want to hear I swam underneath the water. The final statement from him was he was immature and maybe when he went to rehab he'd figure it all out. "But why should it matter?" he asks, "You're the one I love. You're the one I've always loved. You're the one I want to come home to at night." And I wondered allowed if that was good enough for forever.
from protoplast :
missing you.
from recieveher :
unlocked
from bijou-noir :
It's 9:22am here in Santa Barbara. I've been up for approximately 30+ hours. I'm smoking a cigarette, drinking a mimosa, and I somehow stumbled back into you. It's been quite a while, love. I suddenly feel the need to listen to "Scarlet's Walk". It's been almost three year years since I've updated- it may happen soon, it's all up to happenstance. In the mean time, I might lose myself in the last few years of your words, as I always did. It seems you're as enthralling and rapturous and utterly delicious as you ever were. ~Bella
from candoor :
sometimes I wonder why we're still at it, this writing here, but then I read you and understand, we must (and it's well worth the time :)
from zizi :
hi.. you have your notes page turned on again! i just wanted to say hello and that i'm happy you've finally updated. :)
from tithonus :
Well, I may make some visits... but I think a full scale return is unlikely. Um. Thanks for taking an interest, though. :)
from tithonus :
My pleasure. :)
from red-abu :
OMG, I always had a penchant for Julliette Lewis!!
from poul :
erato, my muse, your beauty brings me heartache.
from autumnal :
i understand.
from tamanotenrai :
"If you believe you're a poet, then you're saved."-Gregory Corso I still read and your words still enchant. Bravo.
from autumnal :
update darling or ill come after you.
from thallium :
that's perfect! i'm off.
from namelessgirl :
you! you need to read my last two entries. and then you need to call me. i am sad, panni.
from thallium :
i've asked that question all the time, and never gotten a satisfactory answer.
from czarandom :
The new look is good. Tis' still difficult to read the text over the pictrue though.
from red-abu :
I love your new template, by the way.
from red-abu :
puta, you are surrounded with salivating claques full of testosterone, and why does your life always seem much more daring and fascinating than mine, or anyone elses in that manner? I will send a package shortly. Hope you like. (Is there anything in particular you want?)
from raven72d :
Utterly lovely new photo.
from namelessgirl :
love the layout, by the way. great picture. sorry if i seem a little spacey. my head is a mess.
from namelessgirl :
things are shit. nothing is right. this visa process is killing me. i couldn't do anything because i am three months shy of turning 18. i cried today outside the embassy when they told me that, can you believe it? i hate crying. i haven't cried since that day in the computer lab, and let me tell you, this wasn't any more glamorous. everything is just fucked. i am never going to be able to get everything together. i feel as if everything is impeding me from getting out of the country. some sort of fucked up laura blockade. i don't even know. can you please tell mom or dad to check their email?? it's kind of important that they know about this. god, am making any sense at all? i'm a bit hysterical at the moment. you are going to have to forgive me.
from raven72d :
Too many bridges in Koenigsberg, not enough courtesans brought in from St. Petersburg or Tallinn...
from raven72d :
Kant never grasped Desire.
from yamakingj :
onoffoff<at>yahoo.com. I think it has been close to three years. It's all gone by so quickly. Honestly, I feel as though a lifetime has passed.
from thallium :
glad to see you are enjoying the book. but wouldn't we all rather play mistress instead?
from yamakingj :
Yeah. Funny thing. Email me some time, and maybe we can catch up. Take care. J
from red-abu :
Yay! you fixed it, awesome! tee.hee.hee.
from pink-circle :
I know you've been busy, but if you can... there's a new event going on in the cirlce. It's a role playing type thing, but more story like. If you're the least bit interested, please check it out. Also, feel free to post any poetry you've written recently. You know, you're allowed to do that. lol. ~Pink
from namelessgirl :
yes, i know. but what can i do about it? i can only laugh now and be happy because if this doesn't keep me away from the guy, nothing will. and i know i will watch my step, and i know i won't say 'fuck it' at the end and give in like i have before. really, i'm happy that i know. this is an end to all of this. and that, my friend, is what we call 'closure'! (and what is even better is that i know it will drive him INSANE because he won't have me again. ha. hahahahahaha!)
from namelessgirl :
hey, check your email already.
from halfdevoured :
I miss you. Much.
from namelessgirl :
karma exists then i really have it coming. after all those years of being mean and making boys cry, karma has decided that it's my turn to suffer. and it's supposedly three-fold right? oh fuck.
from pink-circle :
Hey, what's happening? I have not heard from you in the last two forevers!!! What's goin' on? I would read you diary and find out, but I'm on a deadline right now. ~Pink
from namelessgirl :
something that made me feel so much better today: the post-it, while playing on the swingsets at inter, fell on his face and wrecked his teeth. i laughed my ass off when i heard. what kind of 23 year old plays on a swingset and then falls flat on his face? i guess karma does exist.
from dope-slave :
i get the feeling you're pompous as all hell. that is not necessarily a bad thing.
from starzero :
to live is to question everything. curiosity is what makes living worthwhile. exploration. adventure. learning. experience. the rest is static, the rest is empty feeling.
from starzero :
i'm not sure about head-long collisions with entropy. i get the idea that entropy is a relentless creep, a gradual decay. do you run to it, or do you flee? it comes all the same. everything spirals into chaos, into disorder. head-on, you must be creating disaster all around you. you must be set to destroy. -- from destruction, creation.
from candoor :
A Valentine for the art and the artist, the writing and the writer, the muse and the girl... and you :)
from jonathan :
I'd love to talk, to give you a call. I've been sustained here, online, for a while ... A few more threads and I WILL finish THAT novel. And you? I see you face from the inside out, I have your mind, and the shape it should make ... I carry a picture of her in my wallet. Her hair should be dark? Her features something Pre-Raphaelite boarding on the Romanesque?
from larrielou :
Are you or do know the host of 'kissntell'? If so, PLEASE talk to me ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!! I need an entry to be deleted desperately. (http://kissntell.diaryland.com/mystorytea.html)
from namelessgirl :
you have no idea how happy i am with my new layout. most of all, i am so happy that you did it for me, without me asking. AWESOME gift, panni. and it doesn't hurt it's of my favorite ass-kicking secret agent. hey--SARK! OHMYGOD! i totally forgot about him. haha, awwww only you understand. you have no idea how much i miss you. i think about you guys alot, especially now. it's weird being back in mejia without you. i keep wondering how our lives would have been different if we had never moved. while i lay on the black sand on the beach, watching the waves crash, i find my self wondering a lot of things. it's very therapeautic, actually. but it doesn't take away from the fact that i miss you so much that i probably can't put it into words. why aren't you here with me, sharing all of this? arggggh! well, everything happens for a reason, right? there better be a damn good reason for this.
from caudelac :
I don't even know what the never was about now. I suppose its gone to never-land.
from jonathan :
Happy New Year Darling !
from a-iphigenia :
and to you too, love.
from borrowmymind :
oh, matress, I was just in a kissing mood and decided to write about a prior experience because I wanted to do it again and again and again...etc. puta, we should tan today.
from candoor :
dear gifted word weaver, thank you for the blessings of your writing... may you enjoy a merry happy new year and let this be the best year yet :)
from misparking :
Happy New Year, dear
from candoor :
bless you beautiful writer of beautiful words :)
from invisibledon :
Happy Holidays - invisible don
from pink-circle :
I like your beginning. :) ~Pink
from pink-circle :
Alright, I got you lined up for first to write on the collab story. So send me (pitifulbarbie@aol.com) 10 to 30 sentenses to start it off. Somthing metaphorical if you can - so it can go in lots of directions - maybe start off with a thought, or idea rather than any events. word? Talk to ya later. ~Pink
from candoor :
and words will not express my feelings when I read you as I wish I could spend some time quietly observing your mind from the inside...
from exoristos :
Ah! Ah ah.
from pink-circle :
{Circle Invite} On behalf of the circle, I invite you to join our writer's group. I have noticed your shown interest in poetry/writing. If you are interested, please note back. :) ~Circle Counsil
from thallium :
oh, so your mumsy got back here before mine. and yours probably has nicer presents. i still miss mine. hmmf.
from zizi :
whenever i need that certain strenght i turn to your writing. if i had even 1/10 of your power...
from exoristos :
She returns with wine-like words; the world wobbles but is righter. (Some of us waited on you, in this dark and sleepless.)
from borrowmymind :
Ah, yes, thank you. I never checked to make sure everything was flowing well. I, too, rather like the nickname I have given you. It sounds so... cushion-y. ahhhh. peeelloww.
from caudelac :
there's something just excellent about all of that. Is it terribly selfish of me that I delight when Towers of any ort are landmarks in other peoples' dreams?
from jonathan :
Hi Great to get a note from you. I am printing off what could be the final draft of 'the novel' before getting it off to my agent. Quelle Cauchemar! To get this far I have written enough to complete three novels - I still can't get it to hold together to my satisfaction. Worse. I've been struck by another 'Big Idea.' Keeping a diary would have been valuable for something the last few months: depression, illness, alcohol, mad sailing ... I dobn't needs notes, I'm not likely to forget it. Reading masses instead. All the best Jonathan xxxxx
from borrowmymind :
read away, my tiny, dancing frau.
from borrowmymind :
name: fucknut password: coconut
from protoplast :
Yes, I am here, sometimes. I am deligthed to read your words again.
from caudelac :
Sweetmeat: Of course I shall. I miss the pretty face of Erato. And I know how you feel, clinging to the dried limbs of the dead.
from exoristos :
I love Erato. Shan't ever stop loving Erato. Where is the guestbook?
from candoor :
still you take my breath away
from winterfire79 :
not mere poetry, not bound by words of insufficiant self-dependance. I think if a thought is worth having, then it will be had. you flow lovely. now if we could capture every thought with extrasensory webs, maybe our minds could broaden easier to embellish? circle of thought... ~ c.j.c. *p.s. ~thanks for a good read.*
from jackthripper :
beautiful..
from luciangrey :
I am often here, or so I am finding. Wandering the halls of these words, wondering what it is, if anything that I could say to one such as yourself? I want to thank you for so many basis points of relation. Thank you for writing.
from earthandseed :
Always you, and Always Water indeed.
from sahphire :
I feel out of the loop and am slightly offended. Even if I know that preoccupation with self (even accidental) is a curse of the scorpios. Help this libra balance her worries... tell me what's going on? I'll be commitment free by tomorrow (my house guest/s are leaving then). I will endeavor to track you down in some way shape or form after that. Otherwise, take care and write back to me... okay? Okay. PS You would think that I'd have remembered from last christmas that Gordon Biersch's Rasberry Iced Tea is a potent and devilish danger only to be indulged in during crisis situations... not casual dinners with friends and friends of friends.
from misparking :
Darling-- If you haven't figured out why I haven't written you sooner, here's your chance. Is there something you'd like to tell me? Because honestly, either way, I can let it all drop right now. Actually, I already have. But I hate when people never respond to messages, so to be fair I'm responding. Hope all's well.
from caudelac :
I always thought of swimming as very like flying too.
from firinne :
Oh, how nice it is to read your words of encouragement again after so many months in hiding. I hadn't linked before because I hoped to avoid a couple pairs of prying eyes. Now, I just don't care. I've read you consistently throughout, however, and you've consistently amazed and humbled. As ever.
from jonathan :
My first visit to Diaryland in a long time. I wanted to say Hello to a friend! Hi! I'm stuck in the hell of rewriting 'the novel,' stuck on 100,000 words.
from twisteddemon :
oh yea, i'm twistedverse by the way. im logged into the other name :-)
from twisteddemon :
well, no doubt you're an amazing writer. I think I'm hooked..
from watercolored :
A delight to read something new from you. Just beautiful. Always.
from twistedverse :
i'm okay, i've just recently started reading you
from twistedverse :
hello :-)
from sensualistic :
pieceofme. although i didn't know autumnal disappeared too. it's unfortunate, hopefully they are doing well.
from sensualistic :
I wonder.. Rebecca. I know you used to talk to her. So did I. And then she disappeared from everyone. Have you ever heard from her? I check often always wondering if she'll return.
from soulrain :
Back from the pit of blackness.....betrayed....used and lied to.....I had to erase all my diaries....never get married....never...breathe free air as long as you can.....how can I give you the password to my diary?
from thefallofart :
username: sunkship, password: lungs
from candoor :
I could not get to your diary and wonder if it's a DLand glitch or is it gone? (say it ain't so)...
from caudelac :
I was, dearest betrothed, but I had to toddle off and break a young lady's heart. I am home now, however, as you can plainly see. Ah yes, and I am all for extending the marriage contract unto the realm of Diaryland. Full faith and credit, after all.
from zizi :
i'm doing well, thank you. the days are warm, interspersed with the occasional mist or downpour. right now, i suppose i'm thinking about perhaps writing a little something today :). please, tell me about this dream...i'm flattered that i'm in your subconscious..
from slutreviews :
Past college age doesnt mean I had the opportunity to attended college, but thanks for insulting me. Part of the review process is about how we FEEL and that's how I felt reading you. I have never been a fan of anyone's poetry and rather than read yours and dislike it, I chose to avoid it. You wanted a review, you got it. Your entire entry devoted to the review is what I am considering your argument. I'm giving you 4 more points since you linked me to the layout explanation that I clearly missed. Final score: 80
from halfdevoured :
Have I done something to offend you, friend? (I seem to be doing a lot of offending lately.) I miss you...and hope that you are well.
from slutreviews :
http://slutreviews.diaryland.com/erato.html
from aphoenixlife :
I'm just starting out on diaryland, with a journal that I hope will be more often poetic than my livejournal. I'm trying to foster a safe space into which I feel comfortable displaying the most guarded parts of myself. I thought I'd invite you along for the ride. -Deborah (aka FireRiven)
from poul :
mmmm, yummy tender peacocks :)
from letsdissolve :
the e-mail you left for letsdissolve to contact you is cyber_heave, it didn't recognize that address so I improvised and placed an 'n' at the end making it cyber_heaven. If you didn't get it, please let me know ♥
from dearroberta :
But of course, all in good time. Still two seasons left and one of them, the darkest of all, the season I live underground.
from zorya :
Gah. That was me posting below. Cookies are annoying.
from caerydd :
I find joining in when I am supposed to be musing on the intricacies of the Apollinian conciousness in Nietzsche is an EXCELLENT way of procrastinating. This nicky-drama was just too funny for me to resist, but I am not elite. Merely amused. Look forward to your next entry!
from suicideinc :
your latest entry is awesome (<3) and if that's your picture in your profile you are very very beautiful. i hope everything works out for you. <3 jacq
from suicideinc :
darling you are absolutely fabulous. i hope you don't mind if i add you as a favourite. xoxo <3 jacq
from suicideinc :
i love this, it is absolutely beautiful (i am truly sorry about my spelling). <3 jacq
from caudelac :
*snorts* Pay no attention to the Voluptuary behind the curtain.
from caudelac :
sheer as a nightdress, sheer as anything, my dear. Sheer as I imagine you are at this moment.
from e-nymph :
beautiful one, love is the fire that devours and consumes the soul of what we were to become something more brillant. without the burn we would never grow...you helped show me this. you are in my thoughts. x0x0x
from quois :
conversos? It could happen. I am very disapointing, however, far from backspaces and sans-serif fonts.
from poul :
it's a deal then
from wtf-reviews :
Hello! This is Evyan from Winterfresh Reviews, just letting you know that your review is up.
from rebelbabie :
god, you write with such deep emotion, I stumbled upon your "Diary" accidently, but I am glad I did. I really enjoy reading it. You are talented and beautiful.
from poul :
excellent review, dearest. you definitely should become my art critic ;)
from misparking :
I loved 'smile'; it made me want to cry. Be patient with me, I will call I promise!
from watercolored :
Likewise, I've already begun to enjoy your archives. Thank you for the very kind words.
from protoplast :
I wonder how much of what I don't write would also intersect. There is so much I don't write about--so much I don't even say out loud to friends.
from watercolored :
My God but you are beautiful, in every way.
from kitten4gd :
I just discovered your diary, and it is a thing of beauty. Based on your self portraits, so are you. I will be reading much more in the future.
from false-apathy :
I'm 14.
from invisibledon :
sorry I didn't get back the thing took longer than expected I'll be here tommorow
from invisibledon :
thank you on the comment from the survey I enjoyed answering the questions and I'm not on AIM so much anymore but I have MSN messenger (invisibledon) or e-mail invisibledon@hotmail.com
from false-apathy :
Your writing is beautiful! My goodness, how old are you?
from not-quite :
<3
from protoplast :
and i keep forgetting to tell you, i have a book for you whenever you have the time to design a new layout for me. i'm in no hurry.
from protoplast :
I want to believe I can prevent the demise. I want to believe I am in charge of whether or not someone breaks my heart. I want to believe it is unbreakable. So, I will stand there clad in armour ready for anything. I will prove his actions and words will not hurt me. It's when I leave the situation, wake up, when I realize the armour was all an illusion. I realize all he wanted was for me to give him my heart without the armour. And now it's too late.
from jonathan :
Feed me your lines. Pick your way through your diary posting me entries that matter to you. I'd like that. I sounds like an interesting exercise for all of us damaged diary obsessives.
from ciulionn :
I haven't left a note in a while and I apologize. It's just that I find it redundant to write "intoxicating" after every one of your entries. :)
from halfdevoured :
The computer is up and running... in fact, I'm on it right now!
from dwell :
hullo, darling muse. it is spring and you get a violet.
from halfdevoured :
Since you are enjoying a bit of pop culture here are my 3 suggestions: Harold and Maude, An American Werewolf in London (trust me on this!), and I just saw the newly released Dawn of the Dead and I was amazed by the way they handled the concept of the dead walking the Earth. And the soundtrack was top-notch... it actually elevated the enjoyment of the film. The musical selections were unconventional. And now I will read your latest entry.
from zizi :
it amuses me how our society perceives self-injury by blindly demanding its cessation, without examining it in the context of its need or value. one doesn't need to be insane to cut oneself, nor is it automatically a symptom of derangement. it is much more of a spiritual matter, which is something society avoids considering, and therefore requires interpretation on that level in order to fully understand its purposes, and even its benefit. not so long ago, to injure or mutilate oneself was to acknowledge the depth of emotion (e.g. grief), to honor oneself and others by evidencing the emotions one could not articulate any other way. in this way it is an ultimate form of honesty; it is indisputable evidence of one's inner state. it was also a sign of marking ownership; in the case of a woman who injures herself, it may be a sign of reclaiming herself symbolically. it is heroic in this case, and perhaps should not be subject to such secrecy and stigmatization. the act is not repugnant or heinous to me. i think there is little value in fetishizing or judging it, and i wish people would begin to consider it in the context of its value to the soul.
from protoplast :
The thought occurs, "if I leave now, I'll never know what could have happened." And later the thought comes, "if I had left, it would have never happened." I try to follow my instinct, but there are times when I have to see if what I think will happen will really indeed happen. Truly a masochist in those situations.
from misparking :
Haunting as much as cold. I miss you! Email me.
from e-nymph :
Thank you Darling. in a way I felt like my wants were built to high like a castle of sand- but probably it's because very few lovers have ever awakened even half of those feelings in me...there have been shining examples and pedestals were built in their honor. I want more of those; majestic sexual Titans. I deserve no less. x0x0x
from jonathan :
I took some pics for a concept board, compost, sweet wrappers, plastic bottles and tin cans ... then went off the idea. The kinds of collage of faces Bowie has on his latest 'Best of ... ' Album may work better, using slices of face shots I have frm the last few decades. Maybe expanding on the 'CT Scan' images I've had up before still works - 'the contents of my brain,' 'my brain bursts.' See. I'm thinking about it too much. Must sleep sweetie. I've been up since 3.00 a.m after a late night - dreadful f*cking sinus pains, again ... and desperately trying to get the family to the French Alps to ski despite the ghastly costs involved.
from quennell :
i missed you!! :D
from zizi :
great entry :). i like a person who can poke fun at her own philosophies, who doesn't necessarily believe everything that she thinks.
from ilonina :
Hee hee. That's a truly wonderful animation! Hearty thanks.
from jonathan :
I'll keep trying email, then AIM. Someohow Nestscape isn't configured properly; I don't trust it to send or receive anything. I've taken some pictures for a 'concept board.' In terms of functionality, without pushing it too far, I'd like to create a magazine like frontpage, I'm never going to be as sophisticate as the BBC or FT, but with 1050 entries and a million words I'd like to make sure the 'homepage' gives a better insight into what the diary contains. xxx J
from brutalyoga :
jeez, you have a lot of notes. here i am at the top. i found you somehow, and like what you write. write. write.
from jonathan :
Please, if you'd like, call me ... I'll call back to cover the cost, we make international calls all day long! England, wahtever that is 00 44 I think ... 01323 892120 ... I've been suffocated by exploere and netscape, aol and btconnect ... I'm quickly resorting to pen and ink. And the phone! You have invited me to offer up colours and images for a concept board; I'm game. I've got new batteries for the digital camera and will post grabs of MY rubbish, MY compost, My attic and garage ... the garbage, that visibily would be the only evidence of the contents of my brain were I to die tomorrow. I'd love to speak to you anyway - catch up on all kinds of things.
from borrowmymind :
Ooohh... On Wednesday, St. Patrick's day, friends of mine are buying large amounts of Irish lager and drinking it... I was thinking of poisoning everyone's drink with a little creme de menthe, making it all green and minty... I'm not sure if that would taste too good though... They might lynch me for doing something so foolish.
from jonathan :
You're so right. A Diaryland redesign is required; can you help??? I'd like the theme to be 'the garbage of my mind. There may be gems, but I'm prepared to toss in tissues on which I've ejaculated the pith of my brain. I won't always be tame, I'll be inconsistent, everything goes, anything goes. I saw 'garbage' with confidence, even for a Brit who ought to call it 'rubbish.' What do you think? Meanwhile your Henry is living up to his name.
from zizi :
the dogs do return, but alas the poor unfortunate dragons seem to have scorched the place and burned out the bridge, too.
from jonathan :
Please do! If I could find the original HTML that I kept somewhere I'd reload that.
from thallium :
yes i will be, fortunately or not. you are my calgon!
from thallium :
leave him where he is, maybe on some military base, getting a beating you'd pay to see. god bless those dear old boys.
from fcprincesse :
you would have to ask a Peruvian Kennedy. I would ask myself, but they're very difficult to find around here...
from fcprincesse :
I've been a tardy princess! sorry for taking so long to respond to your question (and for the last response that was missing a word or two). if you are asking about last tuesday, the 24th of february, luckily it took no french-canadian princesses to change a lightbulb since, alas, there were no burnt ones around me. same for today--however, if there would have been one around, it would have only taken one to change it. that's right, I would have allowed myself the privilege of doing it myself rather than delegating (read: I wasn't feeling quiiiiite so lazy today as I do some days). Better answer?
from greentealeaf :
yes, life is short. i've been using that as my email signature for years. good to see another kindred soul.
from zizi :
for shame. she's done it now, hasn't she?
from misparking :
Darling! I just learned of that vicious word thief! I defended you on that little harpie's page of lies. Don't worry-- she doesn't have the wit to defend herself.
from autumnal :
I am so inspired! fuck! i cant wait to talk to you , you fabulous deadly creature
from poul :
thank you for the flowers for my love. she greatly appreciates it.
from tamanotenrai :
Stunning. You are what I look for in this land of textual sand.
from poul :
last piece - the brilliance incarnated. you are really worth the diamond mountain, dearie.
from borrowmymind :
mmm. st.das malt beverage. is that any good? i'll be sampling that tonight and crying. i like crying when i'm drunk, i always feel the euphoria the next morning.
from nzforestguy :
Hope all is well in your part of the world.
from thallium :
i console myself with Naughty Bits it's a compilation of sex scenes from literature, from Plato to Catherine Breillat. great when alcohol isn't available. and unlike drinking i can do it in class.
from borrowmymind :
Hm. The nights went well. Sort of. Both ended with me crying myself to sleep, but the overall experience was wonderful.
from poul :
in the interview over instant messenger - he flatly refuses to use phones - the artist expressed mixed emotions over the news. "damn, i am honored and stuff, but being misanthropic malthusian, this is kind of working against my preferred outcome of reducing human population, especially population of stupid vain males".
from zizi :
like painting, writing produces a terrible freedom, almost too big and powerful to contain. as a child i used to be comfortable in the mayhem, and wanted nothing more, but it grew with me. to escape it i turned to focused, structured and systematic undertakings. mathematics, music, language, science. but the making of art will always be horribly private for me.
from ktdream :
You're welceome. The layout is wonderfully done. I also read your profile. Like it very much. Interesting and unique but so good. Yes the writing is amazing. =) It's hard to describe because it's just so great!
from lightfallsup :
today is rolling onward, that is about all i can say...
from cureforpain :
p.s. thank you for being my goddess and a friend. it means so much. goodnight!
from cureforpain :
thank you. i like it, too. it will remind me to keep my sense of humor intact while trudging through the memories. we'll see what happens with it. i have no expectations at all other than to spill everything.
from zizi :
often your writing inspires the same feelings in me. however, you live in your creativity, like your own second skin, while i try to balance my need to write with my need to stay sane. it seems there is always a constant struggle for me to maintain equilibrium. but your voice is effortless.
from lightfallsup :
good morning/afternoon to you as well...
from poul :
excellent, my job here is done :D
from poul :
some day some lucky girl will receive <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20040213_1479.html"> 10000000000000000000000000000000000 carat present</a>
from nebulous615 :
[grin] I knew you would understand...she reminded me of Hyacinth from "Keeping Up Appearances."
from poul :
thank you. and to you, a single blue rose. a singleton, one in universe.
from candora :
This is a test. (beep) This is a test of the Emergency Valentine's Day System. (EVS) This test is to see if leaving notes around DLand will make this a wonderful day in spite of not particularly being with anyone romantically at the moment. (ummm) May the results be that all this love in my heart found some productive use. (smile) And maybe a giggle or few (and a secret wish still lingers inside that I might someday elevate my prose to where your respect grows for my admiration for your way with words can not be fully expressed in words :)
from borrowmymind :
mm. Yes. I think maybe it was because of his fucking vice president position at nmc. The nice copman recognized him and let me on the road. Ew. As for tonight and tomorrow, 40 oz. Mickey love. No need for any of that melodramatic significant other crap. Just slurred bitching with other not bitter girls. mmm.
from zizi :
and hieroglyphics. god, i cannot spell.
from zizi :
magnanimity, sorry.
from zizi :
synchronicity, in parallel. i was the irrationally accused and then became the irrational accuser. i became the detective and found only my own ignorance. which was reassuring, in some way. it's funny how words threaten, even the template... and the cycle may have perpetuated but it was the benevolence and mangnanimity of the other that led to its halt. makes me wonder if heiroglyphics provoked jealousy in the age when there was nothing to misinterpret.
from dearroberta :
Adoring "The Apology". It's harpsicord and soft dulcet tones musing together. Stupendous!!xxPirraxx
from jonathan :
Would two people know each other better after meeting for a drink or having read that person's diary? I see you from the inside out; I see what you select to reveal - I may form a very different picture of you if we me in the flesh. Do try the 'dream analysis' thing; it's one of my surveys, 'dreamopener' - I use it regardless of the dream, usually I know the answer as I wake, whether I make use of what I learn is another matter.
from protoplast :
I say, "live in the moment, express how you feel when you feel it, because life is too short!" But many meaningful moments seem to pass me by and I become mute at the thought of what might be instead of just being in what is.
from nzforestguy :
Hi, i think you maybe mistaken, i don't know who that is, and can't remember ever seeing your diary before, and no one on your favourite list is anybody i have ever seen before. Anyways hope all is well with you.
from poul :
somebody reads my journal for pictures? i don't know whether to be proud or offended :) i am often spotting my funs from various exotic places through my web logs, it is cool to see some of them materialize. make her post something...
from zizi :
precisely. but i am happy to have glimpsed the possibility, even though it remains ephemeral. the highest pursuit is for one's own freedom; if that cannot be had, what happiness and satisfaction is there in love?
from nzforestguy :
Umm yeah i guess it has, sorry for sounding stupid but i don't know who you are, care to fill me in?
from halfdevoured :
Hi! I don't know if you like corsets or not, but take a look at this link: http://sleepyzoe.diaryland.com/commission.html SleepyZoe, one of our goddesses, designs corsets and she just posted pictures of her latest beautiful work. She also has a link in this entry to an earlier entry that feautures her modeling another design. Authors, designers, musicians, thespians... our goddesses are so talented!
from ilonina :
Bad bad Spanish. Nothing like as good as your photography!
from ilonina :
has hecho los fotos tu misma?
from halfdevoured :
The photos that you posted today are beautiful, goddess. Did you take them yourself? They're amazing!
from poul :
hahahaha, who was that? impersonating me is as futile as chasing the rainbow. and pictures are good; Machu Picchu is even exceptionally good.
from protoplast :
and oh the many heads i have! i want to go to peru--beautiful pictures.
from lightfallsup :
how so?
from jonathan :
Who are you? I still don't know. Trick;e out a little something ...
from borrowmymind :
To quote someone else: my uterus is a fortress of solitude.
from madatmydesk :
If I see one more Squirrel X banner, I'm killing myself. That's all I ever see. Squirrel X everywhere. I can't take it anymore.
from borrowmymind :
Pucker! There have not been any of that since October because because because... oh, who knows? It's an enigma.
from protoplast :
I love you.
from ilonina :
Thank you so much for listing me as a favourite. After even a brief glance at your diary, I feel humbled and honoured.
from borrowmymind :
Ooh, that brings great joy to my lonely, shriveled heart. [tear] And you, how are you?
from nakedpride :
Thank you lovely! I have repaired the notes.
from protoplast :
I think we'd end up on the couch regardless of alcoholic consumption. ;-)
from dwell :
"I know self-restraint. I will edit, but I will not destroy the voice that is not mine." and we will always use our own as clearly as we know how. you are a darling muse, dear.
from halfdevoured :
"strrrriiiiiiinnnnnngggggggggssssss!!!" and stay away from WMDs. i don't know if the world is prepared to handle the side-effects from that encounter. you have a large enough grip on the rest of us already. talk to you soon.
from e-nymph :
I've been thinking of you lately. feeling a bit meloncoly today about to write a letter to a man who i don't think ever chrished what he touched...better to walk away than feel a fool chasing something that doesn't exist. seeing my own truth tonight gives motion to my fingers. lend me some of your strength today.
from dearroberta :
Beautiful. These new digs are far more becoming and so much more you. It has the allure that defines Erato...and that was missing from your last one, the words however as lush as always, regaurdless of their home decor.
from wateryone :
You're right. The mistake is in dancing for others when you should dance for yourself. I should have thought of that, and the fact that the conflict is part of it. It's so simple. Thanks.
from wateryone :
I like that the image on your diary is like a David Hockney photo collage.
from mrs-pitt :
chica! you lucky puta...why is it that you always get the sweet, kind, rich, smart, hot guys?! i'm left here...without joe...without anyone...left wide open for all perverted stalkers that wants to hump me! SOS! SOS!! before i start running over random people.
from mysteria :
I started taking your 'be creative' survey last night, only to discover on question 14 or so that my computer had gone wiggity whack. When I scrolled down, I no longer saw boxes for entries, but the same last line I had typed, over and over until it was nothing but pixels. I don't know why (or how) that happened, but perhaps someday I shall attempt to take your survey again. In the meantime, I think I shall strike up conversations with various writers, from ‹ber and beyond.
from mrs-pitt :
hola chica~ gracias for escribe(+ing) el note. joseph es no mi shark bate. su es mi pero eternemante. hehe. i'm still working on my spanglish..and i will get it right the next time. hehe. ciao~
from namelessgirl :
puta, just give me time. the green card will come, just you wait. i will not share my rice! bwahaha!
from candora :
precious as always
from mr-knowitall :
Thanks for taking the time to make a note. I took the time to read some of your entries, and I found quickly found out why you have 312 d-landers who list you as a favorite: Your prose is outstanding. Well done.
from thefallofart :
what a fairytale your life is. you have pulled me underwater yet again anaiis. (i'm digging that image in your layout.)
from poul :
hooray! first step to conquering hawaiian art scene! we'll take them over like a storm before they even suspect something is about to hit them. and leather is the only way to go!
from zizi :
'equator vulva' makes me vaugely uncomfortable for some reason, but the rest of the piece is gorgeous.
from eloi :
"me as my own/.again" was brilliant
from nebulous615 :
It's been good to read again, good to feel your stories again. I'll wave when I next see you pass by.
from zizi :
you wonderful woman...regardless of who shares your life, even for a little while, you shall only belong to yourself.
from raven72d :
You're a hot girl. People pay *you*. Of course, you do have what economists call "transaction costs"-- actually having to expend time and energy on sex to get the things men give you, to expend time on partners who aren't optimal but who have at least something (gifts, entree, cash, status, etc.)you want at the moment.
from raven72d :
One always pays for sex, in some currency. At least paying cash buys you (1) freedom from being mocked to one's face (2) a choice of venues and styles (3)a degree of certainty (4) the girl leaving when things are finsihed.
from raven72d :
I'd pay Debra...
from nerryna :
hmm. just someone, trying to be better. and a lover for greek myths. =)
from nerryna :
heya! erato is the greek muse, for love poems. cool.
from jonathan :
Wishing you a happy, fruitful, word strewm 2004!
from poul :
a bohemian crystal flute of dom perignon for you, darling. we'll be making donuts in snow yet.
from candora :
and you still amaze me with your words... merry happy and lots of love.
from brevity :
Hope your holiday is safe and the new year brings you as much beauty as you give the world. I am thankful for your words.
from candoor :
bless your words.
from raven72d :
No one wins, as the theme song from M*A*S*H* reminds us. You have a short-term tactical advantage-- youth, beauty, intelligence, sexual allure, sexual value. Give it a decade-- and it'll stop being easy to think you can win. No one wins. Entropy trumps all. Every defeat now is only a foretaste of all the defeats and humiliations to come.
from jonathan :
Here's wishing you a happy, eventful and memorable Christmas and New Year. Jono xx
from caudelac :
Oh yes. The Emperor does not dream of elba, but of the sweet dark forests that comprise his Empress. And when he dreams, I dream. Lovely.
from autumnal :
raven doesn't exist.
from raven72d :
History is never a victim. It always chooses the victims. However much glory one has at Austerlitz, there's always a Wellington waiting, always an empty room on an island lost in the South Atlantic. No one escapes, noone wins.
from orlok :
"Let's make history our victim." Beautiful. Hope you are well.
from faux-pas :
12.10.03 wherever did you go? hope wherever it is, all is well.
from red-abu :
happy belated birthday! have you been reading my updates lately? i've been good and loyal.
from literatim :
i almost called you since you were missing in action, but figured you wouldn't know who this bizarre chick was calling to see if you were all right. glad you're back. can i borrow some shoes?
from poul :
perfectly crafted blue diamond. but that's expected from you.
from ghanima :
Where the hell have you been, woman? I miss you so...
from raven72d :
Though you may despise me, the marmosets bring messages...
from dearroberta :
First I was ensnared, now I bleed.
from ficciones :
This is Ghanima. So you know, literatim gave me ficciones, and I shall be injecting fictions there now. How odd that you quoted Keats in your comments before it was my site--I quoted the same line in the new manifesto page. We could truly get each other into all kinds of trouble.
from pieceofmind1 :
loved, immersed myself in your latest entry-some phrases extruded themselves from the pixels as it were-"art has a life of it's own" and " I am purged." The former because I can feel the pulse of the piece that I create, until it becomes one with my own. The latter because that is the essence of writing in my experience, at least in part- I don't just release- I process, integrate, try to understand what I am experiencing in the world, so I know how to choose. So when will your book be published, and where can I purchase an autographed copy? For if you haven't published a book, I know you will.
from toshchaya :
Just in case you read my journal, the new username/password is tiny/again.
from halfdevoured :
Hello, Jungle Queen. I haven't seen you around in some time. Where have you been hiding? I hope that all is well in your kingdom. [hugs]
from poul :
poetic truth is higher than courtroom truth. but, dear girl, science is an art in itself - only its language is unaccessible to uninitiated.
from dazzlinglife :
what an absolutely marvelous diary. i am entirely humbled to call myself one of the same craft as you. writing is an art, and mine is the equivalent of doodling. yours is a masterpiece. keep it up. (after reading some of your other notes, i have an odd urge to call you darling, so what the hell). ta-ta, darling. -emma
from e-nymph :
all of those things suit you, to paint an image and yet not reveal the true form. as inticing as ever, my dear.
from mysteria :
Count me in.
from sylphanie :
In.
from e-nymph :
the nuclear winter comment from your profile is made in the movie 'GIA'; is that perhaps a nod darling? and angles always intrigue me- pool,buildings,sharp boned faces. life is boring without these things to drawn the eye, tempt the game to another peak. much love. x0x0x
from emobre :
cigarettes are rather good at taking time... and money. i enjoy your writing. i think im somewhat intelligent but i have a hard time processing it into words. im nerdy. and i speak in fragments. but youre a goddess my friend. Bre
from ghanima :
With you, my darling, I am always in.
from orlok :
The dry, hard- numbers edge to your wiritng as of late is adding a nice bit of tension. It's amazing how much one can hide even when things are broken down into the simplest terms.
from halfdevoured :
I love your writing because I can feel the equal prescence of your mind, heart, and soul in every word, which is quite a feat. I have a tendency to separate all three in life, which makes it more difficult to fully express myself in writing. I've made it a goal to try to find a proper balance between each part of my being without losing the depth of feeling that stems from the conflict. I seek harmony, yet I do not want to relinquish my disparities. I'm going to end this here before it becomes an unintelligble rant. What I really wanted to say is what I said at the beginning of all of this: I love your writing. I need to go back and read every word that you have written here.
from raven72d :
If you're humiliated in front of *one* attractive girl, they'll all know about it within days...and treat you with well-deserved contempt. And of course males will know about it, too...and push you down the rank hierarchy. If you fail with a girl, you have to go home and look in the mirror and recognize that you never deserved success, that you never deserved an attractive girl, that you are without value.
from raven72d :
I always ask girls about traffic stops: was there an exchange of favors? In the cop's mind, it was at least *possible*...
from moxie-loo :
I love your layout. It's beautiful.
from raven72d :
Those who are seen to fail are no longer taken seriously. Society 2003 no longer offers second chances or believes in learning from mistakes. "Zero tolerance" as an attitude has destroyed any hope that one can take chances and learn by doing. Those seen to fail are no longer taken seriously-- if you fail with an attractive girl, no other attractive girls will find you worthwhile, if you fail at a career, you'll get no second chances.
from raven72d :
I write about countries that no longer exist and people long dead. I write about things I imagine-- imagination is the less taxing substitute (and less risky substitute) for humiliation and failure and social degradation in trying to deal with the so-called real world.
from thallium :
there is no p-c argument! it will happen, eventually, before we're forty.
from emobre :
youre terribly smart... i wish i could meet more people like you. do you speak the way you write? i mean, i dont and most people dont but maybe you do. that would be... just amazing. Bre
from thallium :
hey. hey. that whole virgin-priestess thing is just a fun way to commiserate. we have no illusions of moral superiority. there's nothing epic about it, nothing like, "on a garbage-strewn rock in the wine-blue sea, four vestal virgins were kept, creatures of flesh but numb to the touch of man" or whatever. and plato was gay!
from raven72d :
Book for you-- Jacques Monod, "Chance and Necessity".
from poul :
oh, i am sure you can wink with the best of them. if not literally...
from halfdevoured :
Hello, beautiful! How is the jungle today?
from poul :
not with sneeze. but with wink.
from mixtape- :
are you italian?
from ladyvivien :
my dear, in one of my infrequent spurts of editing my friends list, I took much inspiration from you. They better be good ;)
from candora :
wow
from poul :
the greatest achievement of science is the schroedinger's principle of uncertainty. i can be both inside and outside of your shopping cart. try to catch the tail of my probability curve when it's below 3 sigma. in other news: chiaroscuro!
from dark-matter :
leave me alone.
from dearroberta :
You are captivating Lady spider.
from cuillin :
ages have gone by...hello to you, lovely girl...I hope that all is well and you're full of moons and deserts and strange air....
from poul :
ok, it is a deal then: i come to your opening and you come to mine. seattle is not a bad place either... on a tangent, it is always entertaining to page through noisy chatter in your notes.
from nebulous615 :
Glad you liked it...though sorry it was so long in coming.
from aliveguy :
You left a message on my best friend's site saying he is the bet of wisdom added to your morning coffee or something along those lines. Quite the compliment but I doubt you would dare say such a thing to him if you actually knew him. Not that he isn't wise... in his own way, just that the last thing Dre ever needs is a confidance boost. I say these things only because I know him better then most and as stated he is my best friend. I the one he describes in his profile as "turning him on to scotch as a lifestyle and not just a drink." I like the music you like, especially Tori. She just magic. -Jesse.
from raven72d :
Procedure. I like life to have procedures and rituals. Those formalities make life itself easier. Punch the tickets, enact the ritual, and you don't have to fear being judged for what's inside you.
from knock-first :
I would like to see some of your art as I am a charcoal/pencil artist also, the make-up technic sounds interesting. Tit for tat? I am at http://www.austinwide.com/a/artsummer2003/ursula.html
from mysteria :
I must admit I preferred the chain-smoker of your last photo to the Victoria's Secret underwear-model wannabe, but that's neither here nor there. I keep wondering if I ought to bother writing to you at all, but I keep wondering if this is fiction or very embellished fact and I figured I might as well ask the source. Then again, you're a writer, and all writers have their secrets no matter how much you think they tell. So this note is really just to say 'it's working; I'm fucking hooked, anyway.' So where are you published?
from catalyst45 :
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a professional already. My mistake. Great stories though.
from catalyst45 :
I just wanted to tell you your writing is amazing. Really touching and well put. Keep it up I bet youll be an awesome writer someday. (Like professional cause you already are an awesome one)
from faded-souls :
I really like your diary, you write very well and its catching.
from raven72d :
Brilliant story...
from poul :
when is your opening? 'anything else' sounds very tempting...
from orlok :
Feverish ... very nicely wound up today with a great end.
from ghanima :
My clavicle quivers in mortal fear of my modesty's loss. I fyou listen very closely, you can hear the vibrations through the seas between us.
from ghanima :
Always. My lips are true in a world of lies. I would worship your hipbones and burn incense at the glory of the arch of your eyebrow.
from ghanima :
A post card at 25 cents is more cost effective. But I would adore your flesh by whatever means it was brought to me.
from toshchaya :
I don't htink I would recommend it. It isn't that it is a bad movie, but it is not exceptional. It is about coming of age and includes most of the bad things that can happen to a young girl growing up. I think that most of us could relate to a few of the scenes and the actors were very good, but I wasn't all that thrilled by the movie as a whole. The reason I aske you, though was because your entry was about a peer when you were younger and how you related to her: good and bad. The movie deals with similar issues, but I prefer reading your words and using my imagination to take the place of a screen...
from thallium :
the Walrus is doing fine. he buys us food sometimes, and makes jokes about boobs and peyote.
from thallium :
Oh god, NO. he is not humbert-like at all, he wouldn't say "darling!" or any cute french phrases. and i suspect he has some kind of svengali complex towards young girls. and he smokes lights. he isn't as philosophical as you'd think. jimmie lee calls him the sage with a stage.
from poul :
love new photo. when we meet, i'll drink champagne from your stiletto shoe in best tradition of russian cavalry officers of old times.
from brevity :
New layout is lovely!!
from donnaisblue :
loved the gia reference
from doublegemini :
...or we could just raise our Blahniks and just get cosmopolitan...
from doublegemini :
Re: "Fashionista". I have complete confidence in you. Your glamour-puss friend and admirer, Lola
from autumnal :
Gorgeous layout, gorgeous you! J'adore/ Je Dior/ J'Dior...
from raven72d :
Glad you liked it... Now-- do e-mail me, even if you have to create a yahoo or hotmail acct. I'd like to send you a tangible address...
from raven72d :
So-- great Honolulu story.
from poul :
splendid. so it made it finally across all ocean streams and italian inefficiency. would you scan it for me please? it'd be the 3rd, first and second one are exhibited in my livejournal.
from raven72d :
user name may be more precise. In any case, I'd get it tomorrow or Monday.
from raven72d :
For me, you mean? Simple enough-- my diary name attached to yahoo dot com.
from raven72d :
E-mail sometime.
from raven72d :
One does try to keep up standards.
from raven72d :
The trick is ultimately to loose the arrow with eyes closed.
from raven72d :
I own a Mongol horse archer's bow. I once did kyudo classes.
from raven72d :
15 November for you, 22 November for me. They shot JFK for my birthday. Growing up, it gave me an inflated sense of expectations for birthdays.
from raven72d :
Thank you.
from raven72d :
Y is for Yves, who designed fashions once upon a 60s time...Y is for Yaz, who had one big club hit ("Another Page in Your Diary")... Y is for Yellowknife, a town at world's end...Y is for Yummy, like Adriana Sklenarikova...
from raven72d :
Not quite the Edward Gorey "Gashleycrumb Tinies" alphabet, but most fun... You'll have to tell me more... But why isn't F for "foreskin" as well?
from raven72d :
I really don't know women's shoes. I only care that they're not ugly and *not* open-toed. There's no excuse for the human toe. Like the Andaman Islanders or the Esquimaux, we could do without. The human foot should look rather like a flesh-colored sock. And I've never given up my idea that Manolo Blahnik was a minor villain in an early Ian Fleming novel. But stare at your legs? Yes. Legs are...my center of attention. And I have been known to languidly slide a finger along a girl's leg while talking to her and invoking the names of Modigliani and John Singer Sargent.
from raven72d :
04.43 is a good time for coffee. It's only 43 minutes into the hour that Yeats called "the long dark night of the soul". I'd have gone with you. But wondered *which* leg was artificial.
from raven72d :
My own pick-up line would've been... "So-- do have an artificial leg?" Or perhaps... "Weren't you the Second Gunman on the Grassy Knoll?"
from raven72d :
Ah. Well, it gives me a clue that men use vur' lame pick-up lines around you.
from raven72d :
Whining? I've never thought of you as doing that. I would like to know more about what you've been saying-- something more concretely exemplified.
from raven72d :
Surely it's better to star in the masturbatory fantasies of even random strangers than to spend your life thinking you never star in anyone else's fantasies at all... Though, yes-- being desired by the unattractive does make you think that there must be something wrong with *you*.
from raven72d :
I have paperwork (with official seals and stamps) that says I'm Smart. What I want is to be told that I'm desirable. I want to be of some value on the sexual market.
from jonathan :
reinventit@aol.com - from Jonathan. I'll be in London all Wednesday and could call mid-late afternoon BST?
from thallium :
the boots are NOT deconstructed or falling apart. just sort of roughshod. but oh, how they shine now! yes, shiny shiny, shiny boots of something manmade.
from jonathan :
I'm going to call Cat in Japan. Let's speak if we can find a way. Email and I'll reply. You are 13 hours ahead so we could speak as the sun comes up on England and goes down on Honolulu.
from pale1purple :
I read your review of my prompt. Thank you for letting me know your point of view on it. I admit my grammar is off, it has been a while since I have written. I've never been to school for writing or anything...only what I have learned on my own. Correct it if you wish make it more creative... mentor me if you will...
from thallium :
forgeeeeeev me, i scuffed up your boots. but i polish them now. i clean! i good!
from raven72d :
I of course do not know what a TI-82 is... There was a time when I could talk girls into bed, but that's long past. When a girl says to me "you're so smart" I take that to have an implied final phrase "--but not sexy or attractive." Without the cash to buy drinks or pay club covers, there's no point to asking someone out. Without looks, there's no point in being naked.
from raven72d :
I never want to "pulverize" an opponent. It's enough to lay out the facts in a well-written form. After all-- I've never won an argument and never been Right or In The Right. Others have "rights" to invoke and always, always know more than I do. I do not play any competitive sport; I was unable to present papers at conferences. I would never bite anyone who was kind to me and Petted me. I offer loyalty, affection, kindness, and playfulness. I see no reason ever to bite except in self-defense of a last-ditch kind. I want to go out with a girl who is kind to me, whose looks appeal to me, whose looks show Others that I have value, and who will have sex with me without mocking and humiliating me. I no longer doubt that Any Other Male is more skilled, more alluring, and Better Endowed than I am. If were a Real Male, I'd already have a leggy girl *and* a real career.
from raven72d :
It's not my decision at all. I'm deeply, deeply lonely and sexually bereft. But I didn't go out with anyone during 3 years of law school nor in the time since. No money, no belief that I'm attractive enough to be allowed to speak to girls, no wish to risk failure in front of a girl or be mocked when my body is seen or my (lack of) talents exposed. I'm bright, well-read, a decent writer, a good lecturer and teacher. But I have no money, no real career with associated accoutrements and toys, and no physical appeal. I have no wish to be mocked and derided while naked. Or simply dismissed or treated as invisible by attractive girls. After so long-- I probably couldn't perform anyway. So I'll never have sex again.
from raven72d :
One of those things in my life where something small just...goes supernova. I think I'd asked her about "why Montparnasse?" just to ask why so many people find the 1920s-30s era so appealing, and then...well, je suis un skittish little hedgehog. I read her tone as minatory and just...panicked. Suddenly we were arguing about Greece (I'm vur pro-Turkish and a fan of the Ottoman Empire)and debate (I dislike debate as a sport or system)and I just go into hiding if faced with confrontation. I hate confrontation and believe that in all my life I've never won an argument, and that, indeed, I can't win an argument. I do become vur' defensive when I have to explain myself or my preferences, and any attack on those preferneces that uses the word "male" as a comparative I take as saying that I'm ethically and morally flawed. If ever I argue with someone, I find that I can't be in the same room ever again. I become afraid of being around people who've argued with me...and since I'm never in the right, I just find that argument and debate gives me one more reason never to think that I'm of value or can be aound girls. (I can't ever say "women", by the way..."women" are your mom's friends, your grade school teachers, the small-town librarian, therapists, the shrill and evilly strident Gloria Allred, etc.; "girls" are people you'd find sexy and want to date) I never do confrontations or directly argue. I try to be indirect and apologetic about disagreements. I say "yes" for maybe, "maybe" or "up to a point" for no. My goal in life is to be Pettable and Petted, and I raise my quills and go into an eyes-squeezed-shut posture whenever a tone of voice around me sounds harsh. Arguing with Ghanima also made me realize that I have no value to girls, that I can't risk either an argument or a date, and that I will never have sex again.
from raven72d :
The existence of "Lambada: The Forbidden Dance", one of the Ten Worst Films Ever Made, precludes anyone from *ever* dancing the lambada. Just as the word "wank" precludes any male from ever masturbating again. One can't take part in any activity that can be made to look so ridiculous. Not and have any hope of being taken seriously ever again.
from donnaisblue :
you became someone else when i read that last entry...
from liquid-mojo :
woah, that was fast... ;) looking forward to the interview. =)
from raven72d :
Well, then. I may have to try this... At least I have an espresso machine...
from raven72d :
Cafe del Diablo would be...made how?
from raven72d :
http://www.zonezero.com Go and explore the galleries.
from cautionary :
coming from you, that is a very large (&nice) compliment. thank you.
from thallium :
Aunt Julia and the Scriptwriter? Is it better in spanish?
from futureshock :
Why, thank you. The day was mostly eventless and forgettable, which is just how a birthday should be.
from knock-first :
I have a very short favs list...and you are now on it.
from faux-pas :
hey goodlookin' I just noticed you have my once escaped to diary - GInja-Puds, still listed as a fav... but I'm not there anymore! - I've moved back to my regular journal - Faux-Pas. Ta~da!
from raven72d :
Japanese minimalist or quite Central Asian...
from ladyvivien :
I promise, the day I have a picture taken in which I do not look like a red-headed goblin, it shall appear in these hallowed halls ;)
from exalt :
RE: Manhattan it can be overly sweet or overly bitter depending on the ratios, but when mixed correctly, it's heaven. And needless to say, it's always a classy and classic drink.
from protoplast :
I have made do and will patiently await for you to complete your home project. Address will be needed for payment. Though, my most favorite book will be a tough one to decide.
from raven72d :
I love decorating theoretical houses.
from raven72d :
Do you know the photos of Natacha Merritt?
from poul :
houston can do it to people...hope they have internet cafť in venice, this seems vaguely inappropriate, like sex in oval office.
from a-iphigenia :
re: his addiction I think of guilty longing. Your entry brings back swift, sweet moments with sharp longing. You write precisely, it reminds me of strategraphic layers and layers of civilizations. Always I think, I know just enough. Always, I think, I wish I knew more.
from poul :
from baltic to pacific...my way, although i stopped on mediterranian. all seas are one, but only as much as all people are one. i am out to yet another one. venice, until end of august. i'll drop a message in a bottle into pacific at my shore, see if it washes up on yours someday.
from thallium :
i am still here. i'm told i can graduate around the same time as nameless, at good old nmc. oh rapture.
from raven72d :
Ahhhh... And I do admire a girl who can stand naked in an upstairs window and watch the fog...
from raven72d :
The Baltic is unlike other seas. The grey of the Baltic littoral on the Kurland shore is all about memory. Other seas are about emptiness.
from raven72d :
Ultra Violet was bit...overwrought. But which Warhol girl ended up in the late 80s as a born-again?
from orlok :
I love the buildup to the last line in today's entry.
from namelessgirl :
your guestbook is not letting me sign. nothing is going right! PANNI... god, its one of those nights. i feel all... un-pretty. goddamit. i need you here. i need your lof. you should call... phone home, puta. i need you to make me feel better! i've been listening to ani, for crying out loud! THIS is what its come to. i feel all un-lofed and i miss you. :( lloro.
from raven72d :
The Baltic always intrigues me... I hadn't known that Anais Nin kept card files of which lies she'd told on which coast, and to whom. I like that. I really like that. And your interview... Oh, yes. I wanted to date a Warhol superstar or two-- International Velvet, I rather think. Mary Woronov at 20 would've been lovely, too.
from liquid-mojo :
Fire, such a beautiful plaything, the glow, the warmth, the pain... *ahem* Anyway, I really like the Mistress idea Anaiis, for no other purposes than amusement of course, no ulterior motives here. ;) As for the review and interview, consider me aquiver with anticipation...
from liquid-mojo :
Hey e (I apologize for the lack of a first name) - I'm officially requesting review from you for your sinecure site. No rush, just whenever you get the chance to. I'd love an interview as well. I never had one before but I thought you would be the perfect interviewer to "break me in" so to speak. Hope to get in touch with you soon. -derrick
from donnaisblue :
in italy for the next week. are you still in stockholm?
from twily :
I've enjoyed reading both your reviews and interviews, and would like very much to request both, if it's not asking too much. It's entirely up to you in which order it gets done, and by no means do I wish to rush you. You may get ahold of my by any manner provided in my weblog under "Contact." Also, there is a link to Sinecure both in my nav. and on my links page.
from bleue :
I will always feel autumnal but I can't deny I am in my bleue period, bella.
from poul :
<hand-wave and understaning smile>
from autumnal :
you know where to find me
from autumnal :
adieu.
from melieann :
is this the place you go to be interviewed?? okay, my life in historic (haunted) new orleans, jazz musician husband, tyranical teenage daughter. over 10,000 hits in a little over three months!! it's great if i say so myself. funny, sad, GREAT
from autumnal :
something new...
from donnaisblue :
stockholm? are you in flight? what drives you there
from thallium :
why am i the intellectual? why can't i be the reluctant whore, or the ingenious fraud? or the cute one? or is nameless the cute one? nepotist! bwah.
from poul :
oh, manifesto...we wrote it together over instant messenger, intellectual ping pong...these magic moments...were better than sex, and sex was amazing////of course i'll stop by oahu, always love to meet insiders in places i go to, and will love to meet you of course. needless to say, you are cordially invited to seattle.
from orlok :
I've really enjoyed your latest entries.
from poul :
oh, i may stop by hawaii myself...never been, actually. but talking about my art is the last thing in the world i have in mind. it should speak for itself, and if it does not, i failed. i'll publish my manifesto instead :)
from poul :
here's for you guts :) one condition: when they arrive to you, invite who-is-who for unveiling your new collection of polyrealism :) and email me your postal address, i'll draw you a card.
from poul :
i have a tone of arrogant bastard, is this what you're saying? well, it's true, no denial :) russia, my poor russia...it was liberated indeed; and what do russian do next thing? elect a new czar. you can take people out of slavery, but you cant take slaves out of people. here's hope it will find its way, sooner or later. oh, the colors and smells of moscow at early summer...nothing comes close.//// here's a story about defeating odds and arches: in rome, there is titus' arch, almost intact, built to commemorate victory over jews and their end as a nation. well. 2000 years later, somebody spray-painted 'am israel hai' (the people of israel is alive) over it. talk about defeating the odds...
from autumnal :
LAMENT Everything is far and long gone by. I think that the star glittering above me has been dead for a million years. I think there were tears in the car I heard pass and something terrible was said. A clock has stopped striking in the house across the road... When did it start?... I would like to step out of my heart an go walking beneath the enormous sky. I would like to pray. And surely of all the stars that perished long ago, one still exists. I think that I know which one it is-- which one, at the end of its beam in the sky, stands like a white city... RILKE p.s. i love the new design. i love russia. i love you.
from poul :
confined is not for sale...deserted and crow are sold...both orgasms go together...target woodies are among the few plywood pieces that didn't sell - nobody had guts to buy them, although many wanted, how funny. some nut case wanted to buy elecrtique, but only if i paint away the glass, can you imagine? i laughed into his face. ///////// my story? spend first 24 years of my life in russia. somewhat helped to bring down communist regime, after which left the damned place with a feeling of mission accomplished. it is perfect country to learn how to love and how to kill.
from poul :
thank you, i am honored. apparently i am having a show i forgot about this august, want to write up an intro?
from poul :
but...you describe moscow as a tourist would...how long have you lived there? do you speak russian? oh, and walls of kremlin could never stop even most inept of enemies, but were handy to protect from mutiny of own indentured people :lol
from poul :
your roots? please do tell... essay on idiot: http://www.livejournal.com/~liberpolly/27488.html
from poul :
it's among the links in my diary. http://polyrealism.com - yeah, i know, i need to finish that damn site. older stuff is at http://www.geocities.com/poulgallery
from poul :
acrylic. gave up on oils long ago - not enough patience to wait it to dry; although i miss smooth color transitions it provides. and the smell, mmmmm. art never worked as a release of anything for me, it is more of channeling from higher spheres and other realities. this is why i resort to mediocre writing in my 3rd language. probably this is the key - when art is used as a release, it is merely a hobby. do you have any of your art online?
from ghanima :
so it's my official asking for an interview, darling of my heart. Think of me as the shameless, scuff-kneed streetwalker propositioning you from a dark alley, you in your big carriage and all.
from namelessgirl :
i fell asleep today for five hours. i woke up all distraught without knowing why. i was put in a good mood when i found you and mumsy had bought me makeup (yay!). but still, something irks me and i don't know what. is it because you are out? no... i mean, that contributes, but it's not IT. is it the fact that i didn't shave my legs? could be. i should do that now. but still... grrr, something's bothering me. "morty, i don't feel loved, i don't feel special!" ...yeah, kinda like that.
from poul :
"there is no metamorphosis without emotion" - oh, but there is. sometimes we undergo invisible changes, like caterpillar. in sleep. they are the deepest ones. two years ago i just woke up and started painting again after 8 years of dry spell.
from terpsichore :
hehehe. histrionic. (ps fine then remake your profile and take away my rice dibs. see if i care. tsha!)
from poul :
that's much better. you've grown.
from namelessgirl :
can sinecure review me, puta? or is it conflict of interest?
from thallium :
it's only for three weeks, with stopovers in japan. and cheap hotels. god awful small affair. we leave in the afternoon, i think. if porcelina is let out of the cupboard you could probably do a quickie interview with the two of us before then.
from nebulous615 :
i caught you -- you non-guestbook reader! [grin] try on ying/ling, i know it would look marvelous on you.
from ghanima :
All my contact info is on profile/site, but you can reach me at snowwhiteunbound@yahoo.com or on MSN by ceridwenoftheoak@hotmail.com. I await, I abide. And--In my own character I go every which way. But when my heart leans, it either fixates or repulses.
from ghanima :
As nature abhors a vacuum, so I abhor ambivalence and seek to eradicate it. Welcome to our little cafe. I took your excellent survey--a nice workout. Beyond this, I hope only for knowledge. I could never resist such apples.
from ghanima :
And so I must sigh, and admit my ambivalence concerning the muse-verse that is you. I have eaten some like favored apples and skated over others like frozen lakes. You make me rumble adversarially, you make me slithe contentedly. And all this is simply saying that I am re-linking you after a long absence that you, no doubt, did not notice. I would like to know you, and solve my going of both ways. Come to Montparnasse.
from valentine216 :
I heard from namelessgirl that you designed her template, and I really really like it! I was wondering how to get one like that, would it be difficult? Please leave me a note letting me know, thank you!
from namelessgirl :
no no, i'm afraid it wasn't the congressmen that were talking about the dominatrix but rather the youth senators. see, we are hardxcore this way. i'm sure they thought i was a freak, seeing as how i spent all of the lunch hour reading 'the bell jar' and not chewing any pugua. and i'm sorry, i'm a countess, not a princess. tscha. how could i forget?
from namelessgirl :
i am just a pmsing girl. let me be! no! don't try to stop me! you musn't! when there is no hope, i smoke some crack, i shoot some dope. when there's no enemy, i sit and stare and watch tv. and in my ignorance, i'll be your slave and sycophant! so you shush! you cannot tell me what to do! no you can't! especially when you are not here. buah.
from onyx-cherub :
have you not kept my password?
from autumnal :
tell me you've listened to yann tiersons' amelie soundtrack? i cry i sing i dance - like air, like french rose water, like colored venetian glass, like dreams.
from onyx-cherub :
it's true that we seem to thrive on despair and shun happiness.
from namelessgirl :
oh panni, you loser. no van vants you. you no good. they don't vant. they don't pay. you fired. sending you amooooooooor, from all four corners... -the ugly, pmsing, fan (the tomodachi, amiga, ja)
from namelessgirl :
blah. blah. this is my life. it is blah. i'm very melodramatic too. tengo vodka, you want some?
from beingsophie :
I saw what you did with namelessgirl's page and I was wondering if you could give me some HTML help.
from literatim :
I'm wearing these shoes again.
from autumnal :
I love what you wrote about me on your favorites. i miss you but know youre having fun. i am too nowadays.
from namelessgirl :
really? (for the eight hundred million time) do you really think he likes me? aww... but goddamit, that stupid japanese doll is getting in the way. he should just call me. yes.... he should.
from thallium :
I swear to god that song is about fellatio.
from onyx-cherub :
you _always_ leave me in awe.
from autumnal :
Anaiis! Send a postcard & I'll return the favor! rebecca-starr price c/o CSL PROD. p.o. box 77410 seattle, wash 98177
from aesthesia :
i appreciated reading your article on body image. kinda timely for me (though, of course, a small part of the equation). anyway, moving onwards and upwards... :) you've often reminded me of things that matter, matters of importance or consequence. miss you...
from mikejesq :
"We may quote to one another with a chuckle the words of the Wise Statesman, lies, damned lies and statistics, still there are some easy figures which the simplest must understand but the astutest cannot wriggle out of." - Leonard Henry Courtney, 1895. Figure's, get it? So clever. (giggles maniacally)
from autumnal :
Sex Dwarf Isn't it nice Sugar and spice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice I could make a film and make you my star You'd be a natural the way you are I would like you on a long black leash I would parade you down the high street You've got the attraction, you've got the pulling power Walk my little doggy, walk my little sex dwarf we could make a scene We'd be a team Making the headlines sound like a dream When we hit the floor you just watch them move aside We will take them for a ride of rides They all love your minature ways You know what they say about small boys Yeah Sex dwarf Sex dwarf Aaah.. I'm in my jaguar Look it's so huge It's big and gold with my dumb chauffeur Looking to procure Run little doggy, lure a disco dolly Run my little sex dwarf, I feel so lonely Get my little camera, take a pretty picture Sex dwarf In a gold rolls Making it with the dumb chauffeur Isn't it nice Sugar and spice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice Sex dwarf Isn't it nice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice Sex dwarf Ah ah Sex dwarf Ah ah Yeah Mmmmm.. aah... We could make an outfit for my little sex dwarf To match my gold rolls and my dumb chauffeur We look so good, we'll knock 'em cold Knocking 'em cold, in black and gold We can have playtime in my playroom Disco dollies, my sex dwarf And my dumb chauffeur Yeah I would like you on a long black leash You can bring me all the things I need Sex dwarf Isn't it nice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice Yes! Sex dwarf Sex dwarf Ah ah Sex dwarf Oohh.. sex dwarf Hahahaha
from egress :
Interesting article about SARS, but there's a difference between knowledge and hearsay, and a difference between precaution and hysteria.
from jonathan :
IM on reinventit ... I think. Email at reinventit@aol.com. My devious mind is twisting and devising a string of fantasies.
from zizi :
like, gag me with a fork. but bea, some of them probably thought for hours for a "catchy" response. HOURS, beatrice. that's wasted porn surfing/masturbation time! and some of these men have real estate waiting to be enjoyed, straightjackets and blood pressure cuffs to arrange and sock drawers to empty!
from jonathan :
I'd like to meet online; we might enjoy it. The surveys you have completed enthralled me and drew me in. I should know better. But I like what my fingers can do to this keyboard and would my fingers to be touching you too.
from polynomial :
Say word. I would love for you to give me a review.. all though, please note - this is not my REAL diary.. this is just one I keep at diaryland for fun. The real diary I want you to review is at: http://babble.diary-x.com That would be awesome if you could.. thanx.
from slit :
My love, I require release. All the pillars of history, I fear, could not support the tension in their beams. For a time, I have come back to you.
from mikejesq :
Classic. I can always count on you for novel entertainment, Beatrice. Online personals are not as infradig as they used to be. If I can do my banking, air ticket reservations and restaurant bookings online, why not my date?
from onyx-cherub :
every word you write is like poetry. *hugs diary* *hugs you*
from pieceofmind1 :
Filled out your survey, loved the experience,the challenge, and the scope- had my mind racing, and my heart along with it...now isn't it time that you filled it out yourself?? ;-)
from jenne1017 :
I hear that ;o)
from tobascopop :
"Sorry, there isn't a survey of that name!" yeah, i couldn't check it... im gonna update now. haven't done that since last year. i should go do that now...
from jenne1017 :
Great interview with jon!
from scanzilla :
Nice interview with Jon. Too bad you left out his cross dressing fetish.
from thycarnival :
"genius"... i prefer "gifted".. no, wait, "queen mother" er-... scratch that, how about "your excellency"?
from genghis-jon :
Ya wanna interview me? Sure. Anytime.
from ravynemyst :
Thanks for visiting my website and leaving a message on my guestbook. I really like your site as well and will link yours to mine! Keep on reporting!
from thycarnival :
there, i was creative. well, not really. but i tried to answer seriously. um, no i didnt. oh, i didnt make 5 million typos. okay, probably not, damn...
from protoplast :
i will definitely do that. maybe a couple of vodka tonics too ;-)
from faux-pas :
ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok... I put the damned archives back in. =0)
from yamakingj :
All is forgiven, but...
from faux-pas :
Ms. Scarlet, I thought you wanted to do an interview? If I knew you were going to be coming by, I would've tidied up the place a bit - as it was, you caught me semi-naked (teehee). And 25/30 for content, what is that, like a c- or something?
from yamakingj :
That would have been better left to an email.
from onyx-cherub :
you know what's funny? i used to read this diary that was really heartfelt and honest, but then all she did was talk about boys and the love she didn't have or deserve. *yawn* it became very boring. YOU, on the other hand, weave words in such an intoxicating way that it is no matter that you refer to your relationships. they are complex enough to keep me on my toes, and i love that.
from onyx-cherub :
your words are gorgeous! wonderful, wonderful diary.
from emerald527 :
Oh dear. I get graded enough as it is. But if I did agree to a diary review, I'd give you my other one. You know, the one where I tack a zero on the end of my screen name.
from in-my-life :
Ah, very good, I was wondering where that was going at first. I get so frustrated when people who I think are super-intelligent send me spam like that. What also riles me is that most often these red alert warnings don't necessarily offer up any reasonable solutions.
from slapmeharder :
simply put I'm glad that your mind is out there. xxx alex
from metaballo :
In sooth, however tenuous and anemic my sideburns may have been for a brief while, they were never utterly absent, as the faint shadows from brighter days always retained some auspicious semblance of hope. Yet fear not, for after having explored a variety of prospective models, I have finally come upon one which may possess as much perennial value as was true of those that formerly were. I shall post pictures documenting the long, arduous road to glory within the coming weeks.
from mikejesq :
Women would rule the world if only they could find the right pair of shoes. According to 'The Improper Bostonian', a large format glossy monthly magazine, a survey of 340 metropolitan areas revealed only 4 cities in the U.S. more expensive than Boston to live in. Honolulu is one of those. This must make the arduous task of shoe selection even more frustrating. Therefore I imagine your have retained the services of a sponsor? ;)
from in-my-life :
Just a silly little note to tell you that I dig the new layout. (The words accompanying the layout are pretty spiffy as well).
from pieceofmind1 :
oooooooooh, I can tell that I am really going to enjoy visiting your site and reading-you wield thoughts, feelings, words like a baton- they twirl, they spin, end over end, and then they fly...
from jonathan :
We ventuire into each other's worlds from time to time, but rarely leave a message. I've been looking at the outcome of that 24 hour writing marathon last year - there's some extraordianry writing; challenging, inventive.
from soldiergirl :
I feel challenged to get off my duff and design a new look for my journal page. Yours has changed three times since you told me how to morph it. I think i like the pointed handgun best. To feel the weight of a three pound revolver inside a small palm. The lady with the flowing skirt I'll miss also. I kept finding myself wanting to peer underneath it. Ahh...the regression of one aging.
from emerald527 :
Are you kidding? I get way more than just three days. I get about twenty, off the top of my head. Ah, it's wonderful to be a Pagan.
from in-my-life :
I would definitely want to know. Just so that I could make sure I had said all my "I love you's" and "I'm sorry's".
from protoplast :
I would want to know. I wouldn't want to die while standing in line at the DMV or anything like that. I would want to die making love.
from emerald5270 :
Many thanks for the useful links. It's too cold (very blizzard-y in the Detroit area at the moment) and I'm too busy with school to march, but this is the next best thing.
from fuck-me :
for the record: Never been kissed
from fuck-me :
Laugh
from borrowmymind :
"dubist?"
from borrowmymind :
she did didn't she? all with the help of one deborah asper, too. yes, i will blame all my problems on them. achan somethingorother and deborah.
from donnaisblue :
124 people isn't a very representative sample, but i suppose thats something you have to deal with in that kind of research
from paean :
I'm a righty but I turn left. Always.
from emerald527 :
Me: right. The boyfriend: left. (He's a lefty, which has its advantages.)
from borrowmymind :
to the right. yes, tilty....which wha? "it's so true::giggle::hmmmmm..."
from thycarnival :
no big reason, just contemplating murder.
from lushkinky :
Sending love.
from thycarnival :
have you ever been so pissed that you wanted to kill someone, but youre not quite sure who, or why?
from thycarnival :
really? i cant imagine why people take you so seriously. but i was serious about the whole gluestick thing, you can never find them when you need them.
from tobascopop :
first of all, i was not trying to get her to "agree" with the "boob-biting" i don't know what she is talking about. what i do know, is that she was threatening to bite my finger or grab my boob, so i threatened her with the boob-biting. she bit my finger, again....so im pretty sure you can figure out what happened next. what is it with you two and biting.... the bigger concern here, is what she did to poor marie when she took her to the bathroom... oh, ask your sister to sing you her song.
from thycarnival :
there, finished it. blurg. time for sleep now.
from thycarnival :
arg. i was taking your little survey and my wonderful computer decided to use that time to crap out. ill do it again later.
from thycarnival :
hey. its me. the boy. luxetverits. you should leave me notes so i dont look like the fucking loser that i am. and also update.
from emerald527 :
I throw my hands up at the world. I'm done; check, please.
from mikejesq :
Just imagine the fun one could have with the insecure, judgemental self-inflated Mr Marsland. Mm-mmm.
from chasingastar :
the thing is, what's better? being told you have breast cancer, having a breast or two removed, and then having to deal with the chance of dying from cancer for the rest of your life? or being told you have breast cancer, having a breast or two removed, and then being told that it was all a mistake? Certainly not losing ANY breasts would be best (cheap crack at poetry, okay, rhyming), but as long as the system is run by humans there will be mistakes made. I'd much rather be on the right side of that mistake than the wrong side ;)
from tobascopop :
i didn't know what to do. i was told by your dad, (whom im not afraid of, just want not to upset), to come in when i needed to go, i was told to keep my shoes on when i was taking them off...i was told to go to namless when i didn't know where she was, all at once, so i just decided to walk forward until i see her. even if i only had one shoe on. i must say though that i did return the sweater, and that nameless still owes me one. how the hell do you lose a sweater? monkey whore...i do not know who coined it...but it's fun to call people that. Marie called me or nameless that, and it's been going on since...the parents know of it? uh oh... did you move in with the boy yet?
from yamakingj :
Sorry, but I no longer have an answering machine. I'm in technological retrograde motion. Soon my Playstation will devolve into an Atari 2600. I didn't get home until late Sunday, for which I beg your forgiveness. Call whenever you like, if I am home I will most certainly pick up the phone.
from mikejesq :
What's more disturbing about the Artic plains is that it took so long to identify the freeze-thaw process. Geology, is not lacking for solid evidence... I wrote specific instructions on left leg and awoke to find right leg shaved too. Indeed. Wedding dress. Perhaps I misread that?
from protoplast :
hey sexy. hope all is well with new apartment. your ayn rand non-objectivist play idea did indeed make me giggle in an eye's rolling kind of way--silly grrrl.
from mikejesq :
That's like a non-religious depiction of the Great Flood...
from soldiergirl :
soldiergirl
from autumnal :
energy
from lagrimitas :
thank you for the kind note...I continue to be fascinated with your writing...simply beautiful =)
from borrowmymind :
bah!
from itsbeenreal :
i'll take that last note as a compliment, and it was my pleasure to take the survey.
from pieceofme :
you are a genius, darling. thank you
from autumnal :
merci pour le note - i added more touches to links page/ older.html page / comments page & etc. let me know what you think! *wondering what you got...*
from soldiergirl :
Wishing you much Joy, Happiness, Glee As we begin the New Year 2003!
from kopy-aid :
Well hello there. I do have to tell you, even before I knew your real identity I was already impressed with your ability to awe people with your captivating thoughts. And when someone finally confirmed that sinecure and erato is you, I wasnít a bit surprised. Well, my significant other went off to la-la land last Friday (27th) but he does send his love and of course apologies for always putting off the get-together plan.
from missingmoon :
i. just. stare. at. the. screen. (awe)/
from autumnal :
Love reading you and missed you like mad!
from calico7 :
bon voyage ~ always, be those journeys physical or internal.
from emerald527 :
I suppose I'm easy to please, then. Gift certificates for DVDs and books win me over easily. Joseph Schmidt bonbons as well. (I don't expect clothes from my boyfriend, nor would I ask for them. I suppose that's just me, though.) Enjoy your holiday and your time off; I know I'm trying to.
from namelessgirl :
hmmm... in exactly NINETEEN hours you will be here. in my presence. well well. i have lots to tell you. starting with "cup my boobs" incident.
from youwilldie :
Fair enough. I'm reading your response and feel somewhat honored you wrote a response (something you may not have done for all of the people who participated). For the record I think you are brilliant. I don't say that about many (particularly all the 15 year old kids ranting about love troubles on here) but you are almost a little too bright to be among us lowly d-landers. ;) Alright, well I just added a new "thing" to my whole setup. It's under "Tha List" on my main page. Check it out if you're so inclined. I'm gone.
from soldiergirl :
Hey sweetie-- Good performance on your finals! Write or chat whenever convenient. I'll be around....
from youwilldie :
I just did your survey. I had to say it really made me think.
from youwilldie :
I'm surprised you actually wrote back. Most who read a few entries think I'm a nutcase. Not the case but this place is the only one I have anywhere to unload my emotions. Anyway...I have your email, if you want mine its-deaconblue@japan.com, though I don't know if you would really want to meet up with someone like me. I come off as angry, evil, etc but in person...painfully shy. I'm working on it. Anyway, thanks for the reply. I'm flattered actually. I'll keep in touch.
from luxetveritas :
when will you be crossing the dateline? oh, and keep our conversation a secret. for now, at least.
from cuntfeel :
Mmm, aching is a good thing sometimes. No?
from soldiergirl :
Morphing into a beautiful butterfly with fangs. Hope your holidays are bright, cheery, and inspiring. Missed you a few days sweetie.
from autumnal :
feeling disjointed - confused...
from yamakingj :
Ah, but in the transformation, something is always lost. The trick is to always gain more than we lose. If only it were so easy...
from redhorse :
ooooooooooooooooo........... very nice
from erato :
this should work
from yamakingj :
Regarding Sinecure's Gift/Burden: The constant pull of my two muses, warring for my ever vigilant attention is at times more burden than gift. I wish I could take a vacation, and for a change call on them. Just to see how the arrogent bitches like it!
from nakedpride :
I have been working with your diary as well.. but for 2 nights now... your writing is how my brain thinks... I only wish to write as well as you. Thank you for your note. :)
from calico7 :
passionate,beautiful,inspiring and stimulating...'horizons' - all that 'n more. kiss, c
from exoristos :
Marina Mora Montero.
from kaosha :
I read your annoyances, and I agree with most (especially with the coming over without invitation or announcement). However, the lack of symmetry when folding letters I don't find annoying. Its actually easier to open if instead of folding into perfect thirds, the paper is folded so the last flap doesn't reach the first crease. Granted, too much space or too little does look tacky, but about 1 to 1.5 cm of space actually looks nice. Plus, that's how they taught us to fold letters in school. ;o)
from mikejesq :
Efficiency is if one's news reader removes her clothes first, thereby eliminating the tiresome and odious task of picturing her naked, and allows one to concentrate on the news content. This is my favorite collumn.
from theres-no-i :
One can only laugh at how wonderful it is toknow that yes there is another soul in the world that looks at people's shoes when acessing them! I've done it since I was 10 and no one ever knew what I was talking about!! Thanks and have fun with the fat speedo wearing men (sorry that really does suck a whole lot! But I live in Ohio where its cold so thats just funny to me!)
from emerald527 :
Brrr. That's cold. Then again, I don't know your parents, so perhaps it's best that way.
from soldiergirl :
Anaiis - I'm sure you and your sister will remain close all the days remaining. You show much compassion and wisdom in "Last Night". I'm happy you decided not to let it print. Some windows to the soul require shades.
from greytwilight :
I can't even begin to find the words to describe your writing. Can woah possibly encompass it all? (I've definitely found one of my ellipsors.)
from needstorage :
i love you. burn me.
from calico7 :
The Dance by Oriah Mountain Dreamer I have sent you my invitation, the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!" Just stand up quietly and dance with me. Show me how you follow your deepest desires, spiraling down into the ache within the ache. And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday. Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart. Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved. Tell me a story of who you are, And see who I am in the stories I am living. And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice. Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day. Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment, and again in the next and the next and the next. . . I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring. Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will. What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness? And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud. Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart. And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again. Show me how you take care of business without letting business determine who you are. When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul's desires have too high a price, let us remind each other that it is never about the money. Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it. Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day. And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within. Don't say, "Yes!" Just take my hand and dance with me.
from mozatlan :
I wanted to dislike you for reasons I'm sure you can understand, but found myself unable. "I think you two would like each other a lot," he says. Perhaps he's right.
from sipthis :
Was wondering if you percieved yourself to be an erato or muse of the sort? Just curious. I seem to be toying with the idea that I am a modern muse, per se.
from emerald527 :
You talked to Kurt Loder?! You've no idea how envious I am of you right now. He's one of the people I really look up to in the field. Yeah, yeah, I pretended to be a full-of-shit elitist and said something like Peter Jennings or Gloria Steinem, but no. I look up to Kurt Loder. ...Had I been in your shoes, I would have also asked what it was like to talk to Trent Reznor, but then I'm a hardcore NIN fan. Oh, and I'll get back to you on what to call the diaryring.
from emerald527 :
I checked for journalism diaryrings, but the closest one I found was for people who seemed to already be somewhat established in the field. What about those still working on their degrees? If we were going to start a journalism ring, we could possibly take that tack.
from girloutcast :
I know it took me awhile to get back to you about my diary. You can read my new one at deadjournal.com/users/goaskmalice. I haven't written in diaryland since i locked it. I would be honored if you continued to read my diary. I still read yours.
from mikejesq :
Your subconscious teazes you mercilessly by creating these ideal scenarios for cutting comments...
from shiverhead :
it's me, incetardis from aim. i filled out your silly little survey. it was fun but i'm really tired now. g'nite.
from yamakingj :
Very interesting, but not at all something I would say. Of course I care though, an artist's integrity is only as strong as his art. Still, we SHOULD talk. I think it signifies a fear of convention. You should know better though...
from mikejesq :
Division by zero is imminent. Shine the crappy award.
from emerald527 :
As well you should be.
from yamakingj :
I'm glad to hear you're doing all the things you wanted to do. I met an excellent musician and we are planning on collaborating. Things are looking up, eh? Take care.
from protoplast :
i would just sit and watch the show. she's an aquarius. i really wish i could come. hmmmm.
from e-nymph :
you are a beautiful tempest- wish i had the strength to brave your storm. it's grey and rainy here today, i need a warm deversion. ;) your words are as intoxicating as ever. xoxo
from emerald527 :
a. (my original color, though I WAS born a redhead, honest!) b. (my current color is somewhere between b and c) d. (my car is cherry black)
from calico7 :
a lovely piece by oriah mountain dreamer; i have a copy at my desk that a magical cherokee woman, wolf clan circles, sent me a year ago. xo, c
from emerald527 :
I'm working on that BA in journalism as we speak.
from pieceofme :
[blows kisses] thank you, bella.
from pieceofme :
sweetheart, i have no msn and am going insane. did i mention before how much i hate windows xp?? anyway..can u pls add a comment as a test because i have received 2 comments in the last half hour but cannot open them..not sure why.
from pieceofme :
bella, are you around right now?
from protoplast :
you are the next helen thomas for certain. i feel the same way and am one of the first among my friends to intelligently critize the president and the media. i get off on educating people about their "democratic" country. ack.
from slapmeharder :
the mention of the australian media caught my attention.....you know when all this began *circa september 11* the first thing I did....not to let people know that I was okay etc. Was to call home, get the Australian Media perspective...it took two days of being in the states to realise that the media that you get there is really propaganda. Its sad, cos I know women like you and guppy and hungryghost and others who deserve so much more than that crap. xxxxlove to you. alex
from shadowglass :
all i ever wanted is here in my arms. (we have been dying since the day we were born. like love, the one thing that keeps us alive will kill us one day.)
from luxetveritas :
im looking for everything, im looking for nothing, im looking for happiness... but i push it away. what's wrong with me?
from soldiergirl :
Anaiis-- You are the beautiful one with your words splashed electronically for us to read! I love your metaphors and you...
from catwhisperz :
you have a nice diary... and i like clue too! and i'd prefer poison than wrench. ;)
from calico7 :
you should know that i am using the words of your entry today like a protective blanket
from mikejesq :
I always thought the average temperature in Hawaii was a misprint. Thomas Magnum never looked cold...
from autumnal :
oh my god i was listening to that VERY PIECE while I worte my entry this morning that touched you so. Jesus Anaiis, we are in sync...!
from calico7 :
beautiful, dispel the myth of selfless love. ***kiss***
from autumnal :
reading your latest entries and your archives for sinecure....delightful and witty... cant "put" them down!
from skarekrow :
I'm sorry about tonight somethign to my aim and i lost all of my contacts and then i found out they took out the instant messengers out of the comp.
from autumnal :
gorgeous new sinecure design. I miss you terribly but am happy you are living la dolce vita (how does one translate that into hawaiin?) please tell me how everything is when you have time. your writing is compelling as ever.
from aesthesia :
i was delighted to read your entry wherein you wrote about Arvo Part! so interesting. did you see mine? http://aesthesia.diaryland.com/020324_47.html
from slapmeharder :
*kisses* the nicest kind of course
from mikejesq :
The most simple truths are the most poignant, and you deliver them well. Stunning entry.
from shadowglass :
you leave me wordless.
from chasingastar :
the new layout is gorgeous! it conveys hawaii perfectly. I hope you are enjoying your new home.
from literatim :
oh the layout is just divine! xoxo
from calico7 :
maui~pure magic. big island~other-fucking-worldly! making a short jaunt to maui this november and taking along a first timer. i'll delight in taking him by the hand, and other parts, and watching him see all that beauty and mystery. depending on my mood and frame of mind however the abandoned filling station on the corner can be transformed into paradise. kiss,>^..^<
from calico7 :
i often hope oneís lasting image of hawaii is not honolulu just as i hope one wonít view a single episode of ĎThe Dukes of Hazzardí and refuse to visit me here in atlanta. eleven pm atop kilauea , big island, tears streaming down my face; never before have i witnessed stars in such profusion. i now know how the ancients saw the gods and their tales. a two-mile hike to a petroglyph created to celebrate the birth of a child five thousand years ago. no other human in sight for many hours; i was able to dilute even my neuroses - for a spell. kiss, calico
from aesthesia :
i had another dream about you last night. wow. well, i am excited for you about Hawaii. you MUST let me know if you cross that bit of Pacific and find yourself in San Francisco! i know just going out for coffee with you would be a lovely adventure...
from slapmeharder :
hugs and thoughts and stuff and things and wanting to know more and make sure we talk soon okay? love to you darlin girl. xxx
from namelessgirl :
hmph! how is it that you will bless the units with an email, but leave me out in the dry? WRITE ME AN EMAIL DAMMIT!!
from gomekichi :
I went on a ferris wheel near Disneyland. There were lots of young girls with high boots but no grannies with purple hair. We went for a BBQ and brought our own gear. When we arrived we found a 5,000 yen per person charge for a spot and an expectation to use the park's gear. We found a place by a nameless river instead. We drank and ate and were very merry for free. Little did we realize, the place was crawling with itchity grubs. We all broke out in a rash the next day and itched forever.
from needstorage :
there are days when you are everything in me, feeding hungry in my words and i dream in your colors. nights when i wonder what sort of force we might be if we combined. i have a feeling, akin to fear, that you might just be my mirrored image.
from gomekichi :
Please continue ... I beseech you! It is good to read the work of another who loves to write. Thanks for the note.
from namelessgirl :
this IS the work diary right? i hope so. i miss you vorking. i used to hate it, but know i wish you would do it more often. vork! vork!
from aijia :
I have to ask you something. Damnit now i have to go. Email me at raichi14@cs.com if you have time and we can talk.
from luxetveritas :
Why thank you. But, yes. Vulnerable. Perhaps too much. Maybe it wasnít such a good idea, I really should stop typing these things right before I fall asleep.
from luxetveritas :
Hmmm, I canít say that you sounded like a fourteen-year-old hooker. But then again, I donít believe Iíve ever spoken to a 14 y.o. hooker. Iíve probably talked to some 14 year olds that were hookers, but I didnít know, or maybe some hookers that I didnít realize were only 14... oops... [wink]
from slapmeharder :
are there sharks there? cos i'd prefer the naked surfing at night. xxx
from luxetveritas :
Wow I feel so priviliged to have been graced with... something. Thank you. Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europe vincendarum.
from slapmeharder :
i'm so going to come there and track you down and turn up on your lawn...sitting on the new lawn furniture.....except your mother will come out and politely tell me you are in hawaii....damn.....
from calico7 :
...and your questions sublime! kiss, calico
from luxetveritas :
Stop writing so damn well. Actually, dont. I just dont wanna look so crappy. Beautiful writing, though I cant say I understand it fully. I guess I'm just a little slow...
from luxetveritas :
Wow. I have just read some of your older entries. Genius. I hope to be able to write like that, maybe, someday. Now, I may be a little off, but you would be the muse of lyric and love poetry, no? And, if you don't mind my asking, you know, um, borrowmymind? She's amazing as well. Keep writing, drop me a note, and never let anyone change you...
from agentfatman :
I see I made the list, I should show you my new toy...
from luxetveritas :
amazing diary... keep writing and thanks for leaving me a note!!
from calico7 :
two thumbs up deliciousness; your diary is yummy. i plan to head over there often.xo,calico
from mikejesq :
http://www.sheplers.com Com'n down.
from calico7 :
thank you for filling out my kiss'n'tell survey; your answers were honest and amusing. you know embryos have been photographed sucking their thumbs - this being a form of self-gratification - makes me wonder just how young is 'too young.'xo,calico
from mikejesq :
I order my standard 30-36 or 30/38 from a Kansas based online retailer, only place I can get them. They are really a 'western' store so yes, I now have jeans but I also recieve the worlds largest mail order catalog showcasing tacky two tone fringed shirts, shiny tipped boots, tassles and the ubiquitous belt buckles. You need a forklift to move this biblically sized treasure store of twee. It's worth getting because those cowgirls... Guppy - thank you for the confirmation, our j-dead friend has a million facets does she not?
from chasingastar :
25" hips? skinny girl ;)
from terpsichore :
Mikejesq AND my dearest stoicher - make clear note this crazy girl that we love to read has done the craziest, randomest, most amazing shit for me (seem to remember a fuckign awesome gift that only took what 16 years to get to me. html free of charge. listening. talking to those random boys. lending me cash. pretending i sooo quit smoking. my god. the list is indefinite and i KNOW i'm missing a big one.) and for other people. and for that dog on the road. (!!! will you go check on it??) although she did tlel me to leave the frog i almost hit (bad monkey!) don't tell though, she's j-dead and can't blow her cover.
from twelfth :
Hey, thanks for the reply - wish I'd taken the survey with a bit less seriousness - but I suppose I was in a bad mood that day. ah well. Here's to the suitors, cheers from a nameless drone!
from jonnybox :
Bah, it appears that dare-to-date was rigged!
from exoristos :
Seen the Google.com logo today?
from jason75 :
have missed your page sweetie, was good to pop in and catch up on you
from autumnal :
i made you a little button on the bottom of my diary linking you :=)
from autumnal :
you even make fucking fashionable.
from autumnal :
i love you
from soldiergirl :
Hey Sweetie, Thanks for stopping by and leaving me a note. You still read my journal! Touching. Considering I've been so blah lately. But things are looking up. Bubbles and I are going back East next weekend to visit my side of the family. Your survey looks enticing. With so many suitors, I figured answers from your older, online sister would be somewhat incestual. Not to mention a big tease since i wouldn't be able to follow through if selected. Oh well...another decade perhaps. See ya around in DiaryLand.
from mikejesq :
It's 8:30. am. I am in the exec-cube, preparing to take over the world. Strange to find you home at 10:30. A break is always good though.
from mikejesq :
Ah, innocence. One does not always have to give money to shell out. I seem to remember a girl and an airport. I cleary remember you giving of yourself to friends in need, and are you not more precious than money?
from mikejesq :
pourquoi? They needed your college money? It feels good to give to others, no? I think I like this side of you. I believe I've seen it before.
from aesthesia :
you know, i actually had lunch at a table right next to Jean Paul Gaultier when i was at a cafe in Bastille, Paris... oh, the stories... we must chat sometime, bellissima!
from jason75 :
havent stopped by in a few days which feels like way too long., Have I mentioned how in awe I am at the way you write??
from borrowmymind :
yes. this is too small a world.
from mikejesq :
A shame indeed, sad when the icons fall. I hope nobody you knew well? We must converse at length again soon.
from mikejesq :
Morning.
from mikejesq :
It was the lion and the tiger that died in the club that caught my eye, must have been quite a place.
from yamakingj :
So now you see how I spend my time, which is erroneously refered to as "wasting it" Metaballo and I have had philosophical discussions which defy the human body's need for sustenance and sleep. Ah, that you were here...
from lushkinky :
i missed your words. i'm here and then i'm not here. sometimes it's torturous to be away for so long and not experience your thoughts.
from tilt-a-whirl :
slim fast. *scrunches nose* i really would rather not. i tried some one time, and it was pretty disgusting. rawr. i must think of something better to fill my stomach with...
from jason75 :
hey there, havent had a chance to look in on you for a few days but am loving it still. Your entries are awesome. How many people have entered to date you? I may try this!
from yamakingj :
But don't you know? "Body" is my first language. Indeed, chicken is foul. Shadow? BAH! Doppelganger. You're only safe from me in a church. Now say your prayers and the dreaded Yamakingj won't tempt you to do naughty things...
from yamakingj :
You are Mad, You are Genius, you are both. That you dreamed of me makes me want to slit my wrists by virtue of unworthiness. I understand just enough of Latin languages to know you were speaking of plurals. Which language will you teach me first? Sumimasen.
from yamakingj :
"Oh, Thanks, now I can work on getting myself out of here". They should learn to take what I say with a grain of salt. That they refuse this lesson makes it so easy to have fun at their expense.
from yamakingj :
You know, that's beautiful. You know. That's beautiful.
from yamakingj :
YOU ARE EVIL! I beat my fist on the floor out of frusteration, but there is an implacable grin upon my face. You are a challange, for sure. True to your word, I do love a challange. Check your email.
from yamakingj :
Now you're making me wait on purpose. The suspense just might kill me.
from yamakingj :
Ah do tell, do tell. I'm sorry, but it is awfully difficult to hear you over all of this screaming. Perhaps the medium is wrong. Ah, my drink. Thank you, kindly.
from yamakingj :
Ah, yes, the merlot, if you would. She writhes almost as if she were dancing. Death is so beautiful. Oh, wasn't there something you were wanting to tell me? hmmm?
from yamakingj :
Fascinating diatribe. Be a dear and pass the dinner rolls, would you?
from yamakingj :
Wicked, Wicked, Woman! shall we make it a dinner affair? With Spring Rolls and live entertainment?
from yamakingj :
But my aim was so perfect, and in truth it would be a mercy. For whom? That too, I will leave unsaid.
from jason75 :
you write so beautifully, I love reading your diary and am glad you enjoyed mine. You are awesome
from pieceofme :
when it is time for me to dance and spin in the sun and run through the wildflowers, dont you know bella, it is you i would rather do that with more than anyone else..thank you for the hugs in the form of words you have sent me xxx
from autumnal :
i miss you
from yamakingj :
Unless I am being intentionally deceptive, my face always projects exactly what is going on inside. Unfortuantly, deeply contemplative and braindead look quite similar on my face. Perhaps that's just my particular ruse. Perhaps this is all just a way to lull you into ... I'll say no more. J
from autumnal :
your words beat something in me only to build them back up (and stronger and better). I actually am considering having an affair with them.
from raven72d :
Wickedly clever entries... And why don't you have your own Videodrome show?
from autumnal :
when she is bad we lick her all over. unfortunately were tied up at the time and she is wearing pleather and burning us with hot pokers...but, er, we still lick her when she is bad...ah, yeah, all over and everything!
from faux-pas :
you know what they say..."all work and no play, makes..." um, makes, hell, I don't know? it's been so long since I worked anywhere. hope you're out having fun, anyway.
from jonnybox :
When is our date going to be? I only have a couple of months until I get tied up (and not by you unfortunately).
from lushkinky :
Hello hello. xox. Thank you for leaving such wonderful notes. I always look forward to seeing your name in my guestbook. Do write again soon.. I miss those words of yours.
from yamakingj :
No need to fret. I was beginning to think you were infalible. It's rather comforting to know you're not. Heh. A hiatus from time to time is not worthy of censure. J
from pepperberry :
hey, thanks for responding when i took your survey. merci! that was nice. and things are better, thanks. i enjoyed the survey!
from yamakingj :
I feel I am unworthy of your praise. That you disagree is the greatest of compliments. You feed my ego. For that I am thankful. J
from terpsichore :
sweet! i'm coming on your vacation :)
from yamakingj :
How to climb: Place one foot in front of the other, live as if each step were the last, drink often, and above all else, enjoy the view. Otherwise the climb is in vain. Is the route strewn with debris? Should I watch my step? Regardless, I will keep my head up and my eyes open.
from autumnal :
love the latest energy. i could almost taste her duskiness and his fragile sullen beauty. wanted to smack him around a bit. something tells me you have.
from yamakingj :
Experience is worth the pain of realization. If ever I reach the top of anything, I will be thankful for the events that led me there. When mountaineering, the climber is thankful for the view at the top, not filled with regret at the difficulty, the end of the adventure, or the inevitable vomiting from altitude sickness. No, the view is always worth the climb, or they would never leave base camp, or indeed their living room.
from yamakingj :
Your entry "Afraid of Heights" has some interesting metaphor. I think I follow. I'm sure I do.
from pieceofme :
so bella, i will bring the whipped cream if you bring the coffee..lets see what sort of catastrophes we can create [wicked grin]
from autumnal :
invite me to be a goddess? if you so desire...
from yamakingj :
Thanks again. I've seen where it's taking me, and honestly, I don't like it. I understand where you are comming from and can appreciate your inspiration... I wish I could speak with you sometime. There are volumes we could speak of, but this notes-page is not the place for that. Right now you are my only source of consolation, and I don't even know you. I'm not sure if I should laugh, cry, or both...
from yamakingj :
A muse would be nice, but I tend to send them running. You did see my test scores. They are quite accurate. I make friends easily, but have trouble keeping them. That goes for muses as well. At any rate, thank you for the constant encouragement. It has been a boon in my days of trouble. Take Care, my friend. J
from yamakingj :
Thank you for the kind words, however, lately I haven't been terribly successful. Poor Me. J
from autumnal :
tapping foot mulling through favorites. tsk tsk.
from yamakingj :
The more I read your diary, the more I realize reading your diary is akin to reading an algebra book prior to understanding the concept of numbers. I delight in a good enigma. I'm glad to hear I can give people food for thought on occasion. Be sure to chew properly. J.
from agentfatman :
Was that "were" or "weren't" and thanks I will be watching.
from protoplast :
Congrats bella! I started filling out the survey yesterday, but got interrupted by an urgent business thing. By the way, it was my fucklist ;-)
from yamakingj :
I'll bet you say that to all the boys! In all honesty however, I am a bit floored. Said I, once: "I can't win them over with charm. I have to wow 'em with my good looks and hope they overlook that glaring flaw I call my personality." I'd expected my audience to laugh. They nodded knowingly. J.
from yamakingj :
Bowie, Pop, Gitane Demone... That one of such sophisticated elegance would deem my tastes good is the highest compliment I could be afforded. Thank You. J.
from yamakingj :
I stumbled upon your diary by way of your date survey. Your writing is intoxicating. When next I update my profile, I will be sure to link you. J
from protoplast :
rosewater lemonade, hummus and pita bread. at least that's what i'm in the mood for today. if it was a sad day it would be vodka and ice cream. it really depends on the mood and movie. also, i haven't heard that xtc song in a very long time. it's one of my most favorite songs E-V-E-R!
from autumnal :
champagne for now, chai for the morning.
from soldiergirl :
I squeeze this little note amongst Autumnal's pining desires....Thanks for stopping by and noticing Helen's quote. Wish I had flowers for you to smell and admire in my blooming garden. Spring is my favorite time of the year. I like all the seasons.
from autumnal :
fucking miss you. need you. long for you. but we'll talk again...
from autumnal :
missing you
from nakedembrace :
i love your latest entry.
from mikejesq :
Is that me singing descant with your father? ..uber alles in der welt.. Will you be supporting your continent? The 3 r's look powerfull. I now support the ubermensch.
from pieceofme :
i hear that the best way to go to hawaii is via australia [wink]
from pieceofme :
i miss it too, bella. that hint of catastrophe that is ever present when we get together. lets make time..and soon
from autumnal :
again i fucking love you and your words you sexy bitch. from another sexy bitch.
from protoplast :
If you could only do one job for the rest of you life and make enough money to be comfortable doint, what would it be? * * thanks for filling out the survey. reminded me of why i like you so much. not that i needed a reminder. and i will be definitely coming to your part of the world to makeout with you in the next year (or so) so I can makeout with you. though, i thought you were coming over here this summer?
from swimmer-sar :
hey bella, i'm not feeling too great again. email me.
from protoplast :
I was thinking this weekend while reading over answers people wrote for my survey how often I forget that most people are ignorant. I surround myself with such wonderfully eclecitic, uberintelligent people I would never have guessed those stats. Craziness.
from mikejesq :
3:1 and yet they qualify because Korea won. The horror. The horror.
from mikejesq :
2:0 Half time. What?? Holy sherbert!
from namelessgirl :
'i throw bick at you home.' i want to steal the shirt...i want to steal the shirt. hahaha, not really. well sort of. *blushes*. teehee. no but that army tee incident, UM EXCUSE ME, that was not my fault. that ended up in my closest during the laundry day. but terry on the other hand, would take things off my bed. so tscha!! she's the stealer. not me. hmph!
from rebe :
oh sweetheart..i hope you are well. i am contemplating starting to communicate via email as time passes and we dont seem to ever be online at the same time. i miss you..but you would know this [blows kiss]
from aijia :
you have made me really really curious - where and what is your island?
from cuillin :
Hey, catsister, will you send me an email address where I can reach you? I hate for some things to be hanging there in public...
from halfdevoured :
I'm leaving this for everyone: http://muffinfilms.com. It makes me laugh. Check out the Big Bunny, too.
from namelessgirl :
its ms. julienne with the wok! she's a brick...oow! :) i have stepped into the forbidden forest, i had felt the sand of holy groung...I AM IN ERATO'S WEBSITE!!!
from chasingastar :
kiss, darling. you are lovely. haven't I said that time and time before?
from cuillin :
Ah, you are so right, so right...so eloquent about it, and so right...the chase, the run, until it ceases to become a challenge...because that is why we are in this, for the challenge, for the darkness, for the light...the glow of our cigarettes and the steam of our coffee, the contemplation, the need to run until something far out of reach becomes in our grasp, and then....
from soldiergirl :
Hey Sweetie, glad you like "Elizabeth". I was going to take Bubbles a ride on her yesterday, but her battery was weak. I think he tried to have his way with her. When I asked if he tried to start her, he said no and giggled. Maybe it was a coincidence. I took her keys with me and left her charged again. He promised to unplug her this morning. We'll see if the ride happens this week or not. Thanks for commenting on my poem. Would like to see more poetry posted since the collaboration project is on hold. Affectionately, ~ Soldier Girl (aka Motorcycle Mama)
from cuillin :
Bella -- my claws are curling, the desire to don latex ears, the tail...the sinister urge to prowl....too much snarling and moaning, I've tired of it...wishing for dark alleys and your company, catwoman-sister, and the accessory of the blood red, full moon, fattening itself in the blackest of skies...
from literatim :
and vice versa
from neko-carre :
Oooh, what a great read. Deliciously eloquent. Merci!
from autumnal :
sometimes i am filled with such hate it overwhelms me - and it feel like my true self. like you i am conflicted. i dont know a way out. perhaps you do? perhaps we dont want one.
from needstorage :
i want to take your dare. so tell me, what will we disagree on?
from protoplast :
i could teleport instantly to wherever i was needed (or just wanted to go).
from rebe :
i miss you too, bella...
from defect :
I have no idea. Generally, I never do. Just another feeling; biting my lower lip as I type.
from shes-my-sin :
thats a wonderful thing to hear. thank you. ((hug))
from literatim :
hmm, i wonder if that should be who didn't he fuck.
from exoristos :
A truly fascinating picture you've painted of the island Erato. Some of it I could've guessed and some I never would've. I was glad to read it.
from slapmeharder :
oh sinecure made me laugh plenty
from soldiergirl :
Hello Erato Sweetie, You'll always there to say the kindest and reassuring words to your online friends. No doubt your real life family and friends are equally blessed by your thoughtfulness and consideration. I'm honored to be your friend and older cyberspace sister.
from literatim :
hello beauty - i just found this wonderful gem that i know you'll love (if you haven't already discovered it) - femmeproject.diaryland.com - go there and wade around a bit.
from fourthorns :
hm. leave out letters. i was missing an R.
from fourthorns :
you never cease to amaze me. just when i thought i was overwhelmed, you intoduce me to someone else. you are an amazing woman, anaiis. the many dimensions may never be explained, so i'll sit here in awe, sipping tea with you late each evening.
from lost-faerie :
Ok sorry about the whole peachy keen thing, I guess I watch too many old movies. What I really meant is that I think your diary is incredable and extraordinary your writing is creative and spectacular. I don't, in any way think your diary is anything is the "peachy" sense. Unless.. you like peaches, which would make it a good thing, which is what I was going for, because your diary is the best one I've read in a while. Ok ok I'm going..
from chasingastar :
hmm. I wrote something. but don't tell anyone ;)
from belladonna- :
Oh telephone was Oh delish. Till then, ~Gwen
from lost-faerie :
Hi. Just wanted to say that I really love your banner, and your diary is peachy keen (In a good way!). w/b.
from orlok :
Ha ... what do you think? ;-)
from mikejesq :
Such spiral innuendo, that keeps you busy so.
from grimchick7 :
thanks for signing. the entry name is grimchick7 and the password is 1979. it's not a secret from anyone who can't do dangerous things to my life. just so you know. love your diary.
from chasingastar :
oooh, I cannot wait!
from jonathan :
Thanks for the message. I've just had a good read (as I do most days) ... to balance the good write I had early today. Glad you enjoyed 'L' and 'No. 1'
from protoplast :
that too is the closest thing i have that i could believe in. but is it true to say you believe in science? you believe in energy? that was sunday night's driving thoughts. so, why live life? i'm not being morbid, just philosophical.
from swimmer-sar :
Oh dear, it sounds like you had a hell of a time trying to be Barbie. Sounds like everyone had a bad experience with hair dye. I don't think I'll just stick with my hair as it is...
from dimlylitroom :
Where are you these days? And when will you post my stamp?
from rebe :
you're doing it again bella..writing my life. i miss you. god, i say that a lot. we really need to catch up...really! xxx
from defect :
I think you're the kind of girl I could never hope to get with in highschool. ...and thanks for introducing me to that stamp craziness.
from protoplast :
i think you're fishing for an ego boost here. yours of course is my favorite, but coming in a close second is endline with, "*muahz* in the general direction" mainly because i don't even know what it means, but i think it's pretty good ;-)
from girlgenie :
one more time Xs 3. <3
from ciel-de-noir :
ah, its the same for me. but two months, and two weeks in france will prove a great teacher for me. its either fight or flight...and for now, i choose to fight with the french language. its beautiful, and i wanna learn it! and i will. anyway, thank you for the compliment...was it? i look forward to see more of your inspiration as well.
from orpheusd0wn :
Much easier to type, which makes writing all the more meaningful. That's life though, it's either easy or significant, and seldom both.
from protoplast :
thank you.
from misty-girl :
Typing is easyer than writing by hand. I think to fast for my pen to keep up with, and I can type 6times as fast as I can write, so there you are. But on the other hand,when i'm writing about deep emotions, very personal thoughts I am more confortable with pen and paper because an empty piece of paper doesn't stay empty for long, while an empty blinking screen has this thing that makes it harder for me to express my self sometimes. (so sometimes I write down on paper first, what I'll write in email later). Vera.
from faux-pas :
I used to find it easier to write than type, but now I am lost and floundering somewhere in the middle.
from rebe :
but of course darling..somehow we will always travel down the same paths, experience the same things and smile and laugh as we discuss them. that thought makes me happy. twin.
from athenex :
hey, just read your diary. Beautiful layout, beautiful words. enjoy
from chanter :
what did you have in mind? chanter@dcemail.com
from misty-girl :
I had that feeling of wanting to be a vampire so badly after reading Lost Souls of poppy z. brite. Magnificent.
from nebulous615 :
one stamp, made, shrunk to fit, a bit revealing. you want it?
from bittersweet4 :
Sympathies gratefully noted and appreciated. Maybe someday I'll even figure it all out.
from literatim :
in spirit
from rebe :
darling, what happened to literatim? if you have her email addy, can u send her a note for me sending her a hug.
from dimlylitroom :
Im still here. I'm writing you from HISTORY. 15 hours before where you are now. I think thats the most amazing thing ever.
from rebe :
a poem about triangles would be wonderful..damn computers! also, still waiting for your first addition to our new little project bella. hope you're well and that the bite marks sting terribly [smiles]
from rebe :
i miss you bella. i must be content reading your words as we are just terrible lately at catching each other..
from grlscout :
Wow! That was amazing! I am through a few of your entries from the vigil and you are to be commended girl. What a fantastic experiment, I want in on the next one (though hopefully it won't take 24 hours, you're a trooper). Way cool. Now get some sleep!
from jonathan :
Amazed. Stunned. So wish, wish, wish, wish ... but you know what I wish. Pack us into a bubble and point us at the moon. I will have to be an 'also run' for now. Wow! One bonus. I could be there, but can read you now. :)
from ghanima :
totally incoherent, don't know how much longer I can keep this up...
from ghanima :
Out here alone in the backwater woods. We are brave. We are Fierce. We know how to deal with tigers. Sleep is for the dead. But yes, I think everyone else has buggered off.
from ghanima :
Fleet of foot, we twin Atalanteas, and no golden apples shall draw our sight. Onwards and Upwards!
from ghanima :
have I left, my darling girl? Must have been my evil twin pounding that last entry out...
from paean :
Wow, you wrote many entries today. I noticed because today was the day I was being a net fiend. Hope you're not suffering from too much insomnia. Exams perhaps?
from ghanima :
Indeed. Merrily we row. Are we the only ones doing this now that Jonathan has gone to sleep?
from soldiergirl :
Hey Girlie, You're getting to be a very popular baby sister. I'm always happy to see you happy and doing well. Thanks for the assistance offer. I still have your email address but thought my responses were better to read in notes since i have a tendency to ramble and write long letters. Will write again soon. You are definately my favorite.
from dimlylitroom :
CONGRATS ! HUZZAH I SAY! HUZZAH AGAIN!
from literatim :
congratulate the inevitable? but of course! the glow of success becomes you, my dear. all the best, all the time. inevitable. xoxo
from mikejesq :
I would have expected nothing less. Now when you can actually MAKE money in your final year like me...
from rebe :
yes, we do seem condemned dont we. though our force united is stronger than any other and we will be victorious i know it. and just when i cleared my calendar for you. [sigh]
from soldiergirl :
Thank you Erato for reminding me to live life to its fullest and to cherish our bodies as temples. Mine feels like Buddha at the present moment. The goddess is buried underneath some layers of fat and age. But she's there nonetheless.
from chanter :
while i wouldn't kick a trip to barbados out of bed (to mangle a metaphor), i'll have to go with the vacation in space. aside from my schoolboy dream of doing a cossack kick-dance in zero-grav, i would love to see the sun crest the spinning ball of the earth from that perspective.
from dimlylitroom :
I have come across a couple of books that are quite interesting and possibly useful to our Universe. In the enlightenment, electricity was considered such a frivolity, that lovers would arrange to have small bolts of electricity course through them, so that when they kissed, a light, tingling, shock was exchanged. The other is a compendium of various 'Steam Age' Technologies, both real and fictional. All based in (some) scientific fact. I don't know if this is 'note' worthy material, but I'm just hedging my chances of gettin in touch.
from mikejesq :
For the geometry lover, The Cosmic triangle; Where is the other 90% of matter necessary for the big crunch? Why is the universe expanding at an increasing rate and is the universe flat? The Dark side of the universe with it's mysterious increasing energy level and it's incredible transformation from energy field to matter and radiation is worthy of the Tolkein stamp of approval. Could it be there is a force stronger than gravity? But of course there is. ;) In the meantime Mr Steinhardt struggles to keep a straight face and sells his dark energy with it's capricious nature.
from vilemiasma :
well, i consume, when i do consume coffee, around the vicinity of 10+ cups.
from ooberwilliam :
i'm being kinda random, but you seem interesting, and i want to talk to someone... anyone... and i'd rather it were someone interesting... just wanna stop feeling like this
:'(
from dimlylitroom :
Random, chance meetings are all we get these days. I won't complain.
from rebe :
hey baby, hope all is well in your world. my, but we have some catching up to do as only you and i could. so much to say and so little time in our schedules. missing you. need coffee, whipped cream and a dash of candle wax [cheeky grin] wanna join me??
from protoplast :
anywhere from 1 to four. depending. today i haven't had any yet--oh my god!!
from chanter :
"do you think when you have sex? and if so, what do you think about?" i can't stop thinking during sex. *what* i think about generally depends on what point in the, er, proceedings i happen to be. for example, during foreplay i tend to record sensory data ("wow, the sunlight looks really pretty on her chest!" or "this reminds of the time when i..."). if i'm actually engaged in intercourse, however, the thoughts are more geared toward staving off the inevitable climax: "ohcrap. basketball! double-entry accounting! mygodthisfeelsincredible. uh...my grandmother in the nude! my boss' breath!"
from chanter :
"do you think when you have sex? and if so, what do you think about?" i can't stop thinking during sex. *what* i think about generally depends on what point in the, er, proceedings i happen to be. for example, during foreplay i tend to record sensory data ("wow, the sunlight looks really pretty on her chest!" or "this reminds of the time when i..."). if i'm actually engaged in intercourse, however, the thoughts are more geared toward staving off the inevitable climax: "ohcrap. basketball! double-entry accounting! mygodthisfeelsincredible. uh...my grandmother in the nude! my boss' breath!"
from protoplast :
I hate, hate, hate when someone asks me, "what are you thinking about" when I'm having sex. In general I am just feeling, not thinking. But I think this is rare. Or maybe not, I suppose I should read the other responses.
from e-nymph :
greetings goddess, my stamp is now up on my page- i have stolen yours to add to my pages. i promise to lick it carefully first. ;)
from dimlylitroom :
You say: Marry me. I say: Yes. We've talked about this before. And thanks for the info on banners and such. And your stamp(s) are on their way. Is your email? Pardon my pestering.:)
from protoplast :
to answer today's questions: in a heartbeat. i mean if we were somewhere where it were okay for women to marry women ;-)
from soldiergirl :
Hey cupcake, Glad to see you're still reading my journal and making sweet comments. I forget my lucky purse and added it to my luggage content in the last entry. Just for the record, i like your orgies, different characters, and fun sense of spirit. Some readers "read" too much into things. Don't let them sway you to the prim and proper side. Not until you're 40!
from ghanima :
grad school wouldn't be a challenge--Everest would take everything I had, a doctorate only a sliver. But both are things one does to say pne has done them, not necessarily for intrinsic benefit. I wouldn't like to die, and death on the mountain isn't heroic if you only did it to prove you could. I would rather have the Phd than the climbing tackle, rather have the snow in my nose than the museum dust, and rather climb and swim and delve intoa thousand places before Everest, which is a goal only because it is the highest. I can conquer a book or a mountain, but to find the holiness and magic in either is the trick.
from dimlylitroom :
I just saw your banner, it looks great. I should sign up for that... Get some more hits. How much does it cost?
from protoplast :
Climbing Mt. Everest would be a good story, and I'm sure I'd learn so sort of life altering thing, but I still would go for the grad school thing. Grad school--both books and experiences will also change your life, but won't give you frost bite.
from mikejesq :
If someone (bless you) would bankroll me the $10,000-$20,000 it would cost to join one of this seasons expeditions so late in the year I would climb everest instead of study.
from dimlylitroom :
Well I'd be a grad school guy. Portly men aren't built for climbing.;) Not that I'm a particularily bookish character either. Sigh. I don't think I answered your question.
from paean :
I would rather go to grad school. =)
from thedollhouse :
could I be any further in awe?? no.
from dimlylitroom :
I need to talk to you too. I'm glad you got back to me, it was very much appreciated. I'd love to make a stamp for you. A million stamps!:) I'm officially done my first year of college, so I'll be available at wierd times of the night and day, to chat with you. And we have to chat. A long chat, like the ones we used to have. Our schedules will co-ordinate. They have to. I can't go much longer, ha. Thanks again for replying.
from dimlylitroom :
Hey there. Can you imagine how many awesome stamps I could pump out? I mean, i'm an artistic *genius* after all. :) I'll make up a batch now that i'm completely done SCHOOL.:) Hope this gets through to you. Email me, please?
from rebe :
the feeling is mutual honey. i waited for you on the off chance you were free tonight but it was obviously not meant to be. until next time...muwwaaahhhhhhh
from analogy :
Saw the stampie collection thing. So I open up the awe-inspiring program that IS Paint. Made one. How do I get it to you? Leave me a note on my guestbook with an address I can send such an amazing piece as what my skull's masturbation produced.
from tickle-me-bb :
it's extremely fine with me that you have my stamp, and now I have added yours to my collection too. Thanks!
from slapmeharder :
hey beautiful, you already already do rule the world. but you knew that already right?
from jonathan :
Once a year a bunch or crazies meet in the Roucho Club in London and try to write a novel in 24 hours. Preparation is the key. I'm editing from my 12 hours writing binge. So much drivel. Learning to be consistent ... and to slow down, like 'erato' will be the key. Keep writing!
from chanter :
incidentally (this being a continuation of the remarks i left in your guestbook), i would bet real money that there aren't too many people besides yourself who think that junichiro koizumi is a hottie. raging or otherwise.
from jonathan :
4.40 a.m. spinning lines ... getting sore fingertips ... writing too much, too fast and stamping the keyboard ... and reading
from endless-loop :
Hey, thanks for your note. That specific "whirlwind" has died down, due partially to the fact that my father was away all week...but of course, as soon as he comes home today a new argument started..eh, just your typical teenage angst. Woe is me.
from jonathan :
And what are you doing? Let's see how much Erato I can read in one go. Checks watch. It is 3.40 a.m. Family wakes between 6.00 a.m. and 7.00 a.m.
from bittersweet4 :
Make sure you capitalize the "S" in Silver, otherwise it won't work
from rebe :
don't be sorry darling, and yes i will hold you to your promise and take it the most xxx way my mischievous mind can think up [smiles] i loved your entry today. it is sooo you. it gave me cause to smile which is amazing because i am sick and grumpy at the moment. hugs to you until i can catch up with you and give you a proper one [wink]
from bittersweet4 :
User: Silver Password: Light Only $250? I would've charge $300.
from jonathan :
24 writing binge. A thousand words, on the hour. Early May. 3rd, 4th or 5th. I'm asking round. I'm easy. I guess we know we could do it any day. Love the read, as ever.
from slapmeharder :
you know its funny that you just wrote that (hello! by the way!) because someone else said to me today that I didn't explain myself well enough, as in, the things I left out..the details. But I think, its one of those things that either has happened to you or hasn't and the details are not important..its how it made you feel at the time and how it still effects you. And its so personal for each person that the details in this case make take presedence over the reality of it...the morbidity may be more important and therefor it would give it more power than it already has...if that makes sense...ooh my aol messenger name is "ruflararts"....you're nice I like you (hee)
from slapmeharder :
tori no underwear and orgasms can it get any better??? I think not xxxA
from rebe :
i must have missed you by a whisper darling..next time. sounds like a broken record, doesn't it..between your schedule and mine we are destined to miss each other more often than not. hope all is well with you.
from jonathan :
'Words. What were they?' erato is a 'must read'. We have something in common. We are agile tap dancers. Tip tapping away on these keyboards, never quite keeping up with thoughts as they tumble out. And as for reality. It saves me. Put me in a dark box and I would write even more. P.S. If Andrew has his way we'll all meet in Toranto this summer.I fancy more discrete meetings. In airports. Vegas would be appropriate.
from bloodredsun :
thank you. capturing the picture of beauty with careful pencil strokes. the sound of the lead against paper, watching him, bones, skin, neck, jaw, nose, mouth, chin, cheeks, forehead, hair... and alas, the eyes. the eyes... that hold everything. darting beneath the lashes time to time, but when revealed, so enchanting, so beautiful.
from jonathan :
The Truth unravels itself. I'm just back from Heathrow.
from protoplast :
my mother went to NYC and brought each of her daughters back some designer, american flag leather, apply-shaped coin purse. i opened it up and noticed 2 things: 1) It cost her $25 ("but part of the money is going to the fireman) and 2) It was made in China. Ironically funny.
from jonathan :
Games we play. we do. we do. I'm playing one right now. where Diaryland meets reality. where fingers that have tippy typed away for weeks and months. touch.
from e-nymph :
i linked to you my dear...in my newest entry. i think i need a few lessons in defiance. ;)
from jonathan :
The Bowie meeting was lsot on me. I was 10! Impressionable though. Bought everything, saw him in concert, cover him on the guitar. Do join the 'five hundred' ring - you deserve to. Exclusive company of diaryland addicts.
from rebe :
what would the tigress do if it were not set free. run, get wet and spin in the darkness for me..
from rebe :
ooh, but you are feisty tonight. where are you when i need you to crawl all over me..
from rebe :
i stopped by sinecure today. my, but you are productive. hope all is well in your personal and professional life. it appears we are destined to send notes as we can't get the timing right for a proper chat. i might have to call you or fly over there and kidnap you for some quality time.
from rebe :
yes darling, isn't the dance wonderful. i am on the ride of my life. never moved like this before. what a shame all songs end eventually. hope you're well and keeping in trouble..
from protoplast :
"my instability was caused by naivete and my quest to experience. i was so reckless and destructive... so fun..." this was true of me as well, but it seems you've learned the proverbial lesson much sooner than I. // I feel true connection happens in what is not said. Subtle movements and eye contact. I want to surround myself with people who know me so well they can tell my words better than me. Who need to feel me insteed of hear me. Unfortunately, this is a rarity. The other night I had a late night breakfast after a night of revisited heartbreak. I did not want to speak and did not want to eat but found my Self shoveling food in my mouth just so I wasn't expected to speak. Then, I thought of you and smiled. Wanting you to be across from--or rather someone I envision to be like you. Who could sit with me in silence and just let me be as we sip our cofee and smoke our cigarettes. Perhaps, hiding behind the smoke, but not behind our words.
from rebe :
well, i looked for you darling but it looks like i just missed you. just when i had a caffeine rush too.
from rebe :
you read my mind bella. i am particularly fond of whipped cream, especially if naturally and not artificially sweetened [smiles]
from protoplast :
yes...yes...must ponder all of this talking/no-talking/emoting/not-emoting some more. it all stemmed from the last date asking me, "where's the crazy-fun Rachel" when I had nothing to say to him. It still bothers me.
from soldiergirl :
Anaiis, Congratulations on your acceptance to various schools. In your "Hard Lemonade" entry, you mentioned San Francisco. I hope you make it there someday. New York would be grand also.
from rebe :
darling, you really should be more careful with your coffee [winks]
from oedalis :
i got your love note. very sweet, thank you! kisses back, i look forward to your next update.
from jonathan :
Wow! Thanks for that note. I'm trying to write. Really write. Here's the problem. I just read this, from Terry Gilliam. For 'phone' read 'Internet'. He says, 'I'm not sure how it touch with reality everybody is, because everybody is too busy phoning eachother. How do you have time to think on your own when you're always on the phone? I'm really pushing loneliness these days. It's the only hope for the future'. He's talking about writing fiction for screenplays. More on this later :( Do join the 'Five Hundred' diary ring! It looks like you'll be there soon. I'll cheer when you make it. I'll be back here to click through everything.
from rebe :
just wanted to say hi to my twin. xxx
from xbittersweet :
i have fallin in love with your fingertips*
from rebe :
yes, i giggled and thought of you when i read it. i knew your reaction. darling, 'i am in lust' just didnt fit with the rest of the piece [smiles]and yes, lets do coffee.
from rebe :
yes, i need my erato fix. i will look for you later. never enough time, so much to catch up on.
from srch-n-dstry :
What I love most about the whole David Bowie explosion of the 70s is the gender bending. I loved how one minute that one blue eye could be looking like a coquettish gal while the other brown eye could be planning white male domination. Tricky, tricky, tricky....
from rebe :
just wanted to say hi. needed cheer, you usually make me smile.
from rebe :
[laughs loudly] that was the best freudian slip ever...did you notice? i'll look for you today
from rebe :
life goes on and on, days pass and i miss my twin. we seriously need to catch up.
from literatim :
a j-j-j-job?? i feel a bit. . .faint. send the muse! send a doctor! send a sexy intern!
from protoplast :
i am amazed and inspired by you.
from coolassaward :
Hi from Cool Chicks! Want to nominated someone for a Cool Chick Award? Come see what we are about.
from rebe :
i love that you know
from rebe :
yes, we seem to have days like this, don't we, where we just can't seem to connect. well i am here now and you're not. [sigh]
from rebe :
my claws are sharpened, let the games begin [smiles]
from rebe :
i am right here darling, where are you?
from rebe :
so, i couldn't part with it after all..i like the idea of nya nya nya nya nya [laughs loudly] goodnight
from rebe :
put your brushes down and i will teach you how to fingerpaint...
from rebe :
though i deserve it, i hate that you had to leave me so soon..
from rebe :
i hear the best thing for sunburn is long silky strokes of a lovers tongue
from eratoasis :
yikes! havn't heard from you since we had been exchanging notes on this. i'm in school now... staring at these chearleaders with nicely shaven long legs, high ponytails and pretty braids. write me if hotmail is working i still dont have the one about lord of the flies. by the way i cheated on that book report by reading the summarys online and writting a report on that. i'm bad huh? atleast i know what its about. its a good book >-rosie-<
from rebe :
i have all of a sudden become ravenous!
from rebe :
of??? [winks]
from rebe :
we really should have dinner guests more often. you are a delightful hostess. most delightful indeed [grins wickedly]
from rebe :
you know,too much work and no play makes erato a very dull person. come out and play darling, the sun is shining and i have a vodka with your name on it.
from rebe :
oops, i dropped my napkin
from rebe :
that could make a great short story. do you mind if i use it and would you like credit?
from eratoasis :
by the way- I'm leaving right now! it is 12:15(midnight) and maybe you could figure out how many hours different we are. Oh, it's Sunday right now... but only has been for 15 minutes. Rosie
from eratoasis :
great. different is fine- I just didn't want anything to seem as if I was ignoring you or whatnot. I was just curious- email bits are fun :) Rosie
from eratoasis :
it must be the connection between hotmail and aol- it happens constantly. by the way, do you have instant messanger? and could you resend the email. thank you darling :) >-Rosie-<
from eratoasis :
what has happend? you must email me! i have been confused incredibly. >-Rosie-<
from rebe :
hmm,how delicious. i'm not sure, why don't you try it and we'll see..
from rebe :
[smiles] i'm not sure. i derive such pleasure from it, as do you.
from rebe :
watch you don't spill it [winks]
from rebe :
lovely spending time with you tonight..i shall read rand by candle light tonight ;)
from rebe :
yes, the spark is fading..just got back, head spinning from the excitement..what a wonderful day
from rebe :
of course we'll catch up today [smiles]hmmm you owe me one? do i get to choose how you repay me? the possibilities are endless [winks]
from rebe :
let them! i'll dance to it [winks]
from ghanima :
I hope you read these. Your writing is stirring, and to ice the cake you are another acolyte of beautiful beloved Anais. Come find me and I shall wear my faded purple velvet cloak...regardless, come find me, Sabina.
from rebe :
you are truly amazing, breathtaking. this latest entry is a work of art.
from rebe :
certainly :)
from rebe :
circles, circles...don't you just love circles...[winks]
from rebe :
did you not get much sleep last night? pray tell, whatever were you up to?
from rebe :
and she looks like she is covered in diamonds as the dew glistens and the moonlight illuminates her skin..
from soldiergirl :
Hey sweetum, thanks for lifting my spirits. I usually see the glass half full and promising. Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold. - Zelda Fitgerald.
from rebe :
you know know too well know the chill know she breaks my siren
from rebe :
yes, lets
from rebe :
so hey do you do judo in your finery. an angels face is tricky to wear constantly. guess where i've been?
from rebe :
oh yes, relativity, assault on reason. let time stand still from that moment. so the only thing that matters lasts forever.
from rebe :
hello :)
from rebe :
flying soon..all i will see and feel is electric blue. you. soon.
from chasingastar :
I am not nearly so artistic as to leave beautiful and flowing words here, but thank you for your loveliness in my guestbook. j'adore your previous and next links. I keep coming back here, but I am shy. dare we continue our little tryst?

xoxo,
Pam

from rebe :
your blood as my teeth break her flesh ;)
from eratoasis :
perhaps you'll find this humorous. i've been on the top gazillion rankings as well. i've never noticed until i clicked on "echo.in.the.dark." this is getting obsessive. goodnite
from eratoasis :
it has been my dream to brag. but i must warn you before i do so that your entering a world unknown to anyone. you must buckle your seatbelt. can you handle this ride?-rosie-ps.i would like to know just as much about you
from eratoasis :
pretty odd... don't you think? Rosie
from girl101 :
i'm watching, waiting / just a lapsus lingae.
from rebe :
is the sun shining? the wicked warlock has me locked in the castle mulling shipping documents..i will try to escape.
from rebe :
oooh! promises promises ;)
from rebe :
[checks pulse] i feel a freudian slip coming on ;)
from girl101 :
and i dont want the world to see, cause i dont think that theyd understand.... :)
the prince? how intense.
spanish / latin?
xo.
from rebe :
sweetheart, your words climb into my mind and their tendrils travel through every part of my body and rest in my soul, giving me cause to smile more often than i deserve xxx
from rebe :
well, my dear, thank you for the euphoric inspiration ;)
from crystallia :
Your guestbook apparently hates me. It's been quite some time since I have been here.. I know, I know, tsk tsk. I do want to say though that your writing is still as beautiful as ever. Please do take care.
from rebe :
as usual, you have left me breathless..you are truly amazing. hmmm, as for your note sweetheart, you wrote it the same time as i added another diary entry..i think if our wild sides should ever meet face to face, we would be deliciously catastrophic! ;)
from chanter :
my goodness, but you can write. your prose is deep and dark and rich, like blood. if i wore a hat, it would be off to you.
from rebe :
tres sexy!
from rebe :
hmm, yes, the mind boggles ;)
from rebe :
i missed you today :(
from soldiergirl :
Glad to hear you're working on a portfolio and making school a priority! It's all good. Never mind about feeling obligated or pressured to respond. This soldiergirl is always around in one form or another, roaming the globe and map when she isn't home dealing with Boaz, and taking care of Bubbles. Take care of yourself and write when you feel the urge to respond. Your older cyberspace sister...
from rebe :
darling, thank you, though i am but a hill to your mountain ;) and tell me, is there a soiree i am missing out on. do i need to wait for an invitation? i love parties.
from shi-ou-sama :
i will try, i only hope it doesn't hurt. and you, rock me in your dreams.
from rebe :
twin souls on opposite sides of the earth, you and i..
from heartshaped :
oh, i think your advice is perfect. i'm completely and utterly over this kid, and i hope it hurts like hell. heh. good show, my love. keep in touch. mwah.
from rebe :
yes, yes, yes! i love your latest entry and live by every word 'she'(you) said - but never in a million years could i have written it like that. thank you, i have had my orgasm now i will take leave ;)
from rebe :
what a beautiful message to receive..thank you. i am a huge fan of your work - you are amazing. (blowing a kiss your way) rebecca
from girlgenie :
how have you been? i mean [really]
from heartshaped :
thank you. i'll be in touch. soon. xo.
from crystallia :
Oui, I took it. I guess I'm a predictable female.. Le sigh. Couldn't even fool a damned script. (:
from heartshaped :
we should talk. mwah.
from crystallia :
Thank you so much for the note. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy to know someone is interested in my fairly dull life. I've only just begun thumbing through your diary. I read your interview, and you mentioned that TheSpark thinks you're a man. That gave me quite a chuckle because TheSpark thinks my fiance is a woman. Anyhow, I'll be back.. Closing now before I really start going off at the mouth.. (fingers?).
from gaytales :
Hey thanks for the kind words in my diary I'll have to read who you are and why you like me ...lol ...not many people do
from questioner :
Thanks for the answers! I love hearing from people! I will definitely take that advice into practice... I will *make* those boys see me, and I won't conform! thanks :) --Questioner
from heartshaped :
(...i would if you would. but you never would.)
from stealthkitty :
Hey there, babe! I really loved your entry a while back about your parents' anniversary:). You've written a ton of awesome stuff before and since, but I wanted to let you know I liked that one a lot, too. Also, your page is looking awesome-- I've noticed the little changes/additions here and there since my hiatus, and they're good. I especially like the photos in your "interview" section;). Rock on... XoX stealth
from guys-stink :
Hi, thanks so much for the note! Your writing is beautiful. I'll be back here too. I hope I'll talk to you again!
from mousepoet :
but what's so wrong with the wandering from today to four years ago to the spiderweb underneath the toilet seat - isn't that how most people's minds work?
from mousepoet :
interesting thinking with regard to writing - i approach the poems that i try to write with the idea of conveying a moment. the words that it takes to describe even two seconds of film can make the very best reading if done right.
from heartshaped :
thank you for the note. i have no stories to tell. but yours are beautiful. i'll be back. xo.
from soldiergirl :
What beautiful stories! Thanks for sharing Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty with us. Itís a positive, encouraging message. Not everyone is breaking up and going separate directions. And like good wine, love continues to ferment, grow, and taste better with age.
from mousepoet :
some provocative stuff you have there. and i thought erato was just the poetry muse...
from honestjewel :
I couldn't help finding my way into your arms. My safehold. Words that evelopped.. an envelop.. sealed with a smooth tongue filled with names and words that have the ability to make the world bleed and love at the same time. Reality, in the end, is what we make of it. Tell me, you'll come dance on tables with me? You know I love you for writing the things you do. Never stop. I haven't stopped partly for you. :) ~Honest Jewel~ If we don't have honesty.. what else have we got? Milk?
from fuck-me :
Oh, Beauty, I know what you meant by it, I was just mussing the words. You jnow how I like to do that. I will play with the literal(pun fully intended).
from soldiergirl :
"Your Eyes" is a very sad, moving poem. I hope your mortal soul can be unbroken in the years to come.
from honestjewel :
"Don't wander to far.. my one constant star". I somehow feel that I know you, and I'm sure you've LINGERED upon me fair Erato. Visit my site, and don't say a word... you will know all when you read the first entry. Hush baby, don't moan or mutter my name. I moved without moving you see... well, wander to Honest Jewel pretty please?
from shi-ou-sama :
Happy new years, Hope you had a nice old years night. Please, do continue to be magical.
from rebe :
hi, thx for yr message. i am not a photographer but appreciate most forms of art. i hope your new year is wonderful..i am seedy this morning from excessive partying last night (my new years eve) xxxrebecca
from jaezebel :
::laugh:: Ironically, I just unlocked it before I received your note. I'd made the mistake of mentioning the diary to my ex and feared she'd find it, so I locked it...after getting an assurance that she wouldn't go looking for it, I unlocked it. :) Happy new year. :)
from erato :
mental note: remember to do reviews.
from unsurelife :
-hug- just in case you wanted one.
from soldiergirl :
Good hearing from you again! Hope you're enjoying the holiday break and getting some rest. Your entries are as vivid and exciting as ever. You're a big reason I visit daily! Affectionately, ~ Soldier Girl (alias your older cyber sis)
from namelessgirl :
hello carmela...erm. hehe. well i am a very terratorial moneky. no no, i just felt that i wasn't good enough to know the name of you know, but the monkey was. it irked me, you know? anyway, go have fun with your rent-a-boy, just like the rest of my friends (sob!) and be back later to tell me about it.
from rebe :
it would be like not breathing, not to have the pleasure of reading your words..thank you xxx
from unsurelife :
your images have fled. angelfire puts up those ugly white and blue logos in place of every single image you have hosted there.. it's quite evil.
from unsurelife :
mmm um.. nice pictures..
from soulrain :
I wish there were some awe inspiring words I could give you now to ease what you feel.....but I know where you are and were you are traveling....and you took the best part from that relationship with you...you have yourself..thank you for everything you ever wrote me....
from hermitage :
Where is that snow?
from dwell :
she said to me as she sat on the silver shadow box: that haunting mess inside of me, follow me to the ends of the earth, irreplacable, that which is inside and quiet, hard to follow, thoughts which wind up like a mummy's linen, wound up over me, (in)significant twisted stories that lose their end, that haunting mess inside me, got twisted on it's way, i am bound and promised to show clearly the dream that i am, tied up so i can't speak, clearly, ~is only as haunting... as a wrinkle on my time~ and i sat with my unlit cigarette in my left hand...
from dwell :
... yeah... anything i think i could say about that you just did.
from soldiergirl :
Thanks for sharing your holiday thoughts and good cheer with online friends. It means something to me. To float in your words and ideas in hopes of understanding life and people as well as you do!
from unsurelife :
i enjoyed your collab more than i was satisfied with mine. a lot more. my writing might be an experience but it's only comparable the smaller experiences in life. yours is more of the life-altering type.
from od1n :
I signed up for diaryland for the sole purpose of writing you this note. loved your diary. know that at least one other person understands russia the way you do. I absolutely have to know what your connection with russia is.
from rebe :
i think reading you could become an addiction..
from wateryone :
Oh yeah. I feel like you keep quoting that wonderful Suzanne Vega song... I believe right now if I could I would swallow you whole. I would leave only bones and teeth, then we could see what was underneath. And you would be free then... rinse and repeat.
from wateryone :
you have one of the slickest diaries I have stumbled across so far, and your profile is just delicious, keep it up.
from unsurelife :
oh, could i join the crew?
from unsurelife :
if you did want a new look for it i would be more than happy to oblige. though i wouldn't be able to do justice to the words the layout would be housing.
from jeksa :
Wow, I'm glad you wrote me! My diary has spice? Read yours!! Amazing =) Your diary reeks of confidence, I am a big fan!
from soldiergirl :
Dear Erato, Thank you for lifting my spirits and encouraging me not to give up on journal writing. You made my day! I was feeling very angry at Boaz when i posted my rant about "forget you know me and my self-absorbed novel". Our next court hearing is two weeks away and I hope the judge will rule in my favor to help Bubbles get the medical treatment and therapy he needs. Yes, my characters are real though sometimes unbelievable. I would love to be your older, online sister. That would be way cool! I love your fluid writing style and stream of conscious, free-flowing ideas. I like how your style resembles Anais Nin. One of my favorite DVDs is Henry and June. Affectionately your older sister, ~ Soldier Girl
from greenroses :
see, that is what we call beautiful, breath-taking, and exquisite.
from chaos68 :
Post-Coital Situation

i just loved it

i can't keep crawling back here like this....

from hermitage :
oi. you've been to the hermitage? i demand details!!!! and you like tolstoy. big phat gold star for you.
from greenroses :
SOMETIMES OTHER PEOPLE JUST SAY IT BETTER: and when i say you sucked my brain out the english translation is i am in love with you and it is no fun. (thanks ani) let me wallow inm this pathetic misery just a couple more hours. sorry. i felt the need to share with someone, thought you might understand. too bad i'm not a lush kuz i feel the need to drown myself in a bottle of gin and a pack of cigarettes.
from greenroses :
wanna talk about being egotistical? i was looking to see if anyone had listed me as one of their favorites (i know it's awful, but i couldn't resist) and someone had so i went to see what she said about me. but it was a mistake. i wasn't there. i guess that's what i get, huh?
from greenroses :
ps. write me at greenflowergirl@yahoo.com. por favor. thamk you.
from greenroses :
actually, i can only get enough of it to come up so that i can sorta of read it sometimes. that's why i said something. beautiful? probably not. but why's that?
from greenroses :
hey, i don't know if it's just me, but whenever i try to read your diary the actual text is shoved off on the side and you can't see the whole thing and the bottom of the page is a huge blank space.
from submerged :
I never thanked you for taking time out of your day to read what I write. I'm very appreciative. You are quite the shining star yourself. :)
from instability :
hey there...that book is called 'lesbian nuns: breaking silence' and it's edited by rosemary curb & nancy manahan (naiad press, 1985) haven't read too much of it yet...basically its just a whole pile of storys from present & former lesbian nuns & their experiences/conflicts with the church...interesting stuff anyway, thanks for reading my diary...i like yours lots..awesome concept!! :-) -instability (maggie) tefnut@zfree.co.nz
from jaezebel :
Thanks for the comment in my diary...I've had a rough morning, and that did wonders for my psyche. The layout of your page is also wonderful...I haven't read the whole thing yet, but I'm starting at the beginning. Right now. *Lil

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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