messages to flicka:
(click here to add new message):

from atrandom :
(Having read back more...) I think what makes your writing here so especially scrumptious is that you're just naturally, pervasively, and apparently unavoidably sincere. It's a rare gift.
from atrandom :
Oh my G'd, this is SO GOOD. You're a genious. Thanks for being so brilliantly neurotic. I'm smitten
from catsoul :
hey there again, your diary is locked, would you mind sending me your PW? My email is: ambereyesforyou@yahoo.com Thank you. =^..^=
from catsoul :
7/2/15....hi there, glad to see you back here. Let the sunshine and the peace radiate from your soul. =^..^=
from writergrrl88 :
You never need the steps.
from inmesaaz :
fel this is d as much as i would have to admit ityou have been doing the best i have seen when you were with denise yes i dont care for him but that is understandable look dont take this wrong i love you to death but you have a issue of making something out of nothing then turning it into the end of the world im not telling you that you should stay with him cause if you are not happy then you need to move on but at least tell the guy what is on your mind and tell him the truth he has that coming you are an amzing girl any man would be lucky to call you his dont ever forget that now if their is more than you are telling ;like following or other controlling things run for the hills if i have learned anything over the years that i have knowen you it is you are the worst thing you have against you anyone that has put up with what me you and denise have their has to be something their good luck chick i hope everything works out for you
from catsoul :
I went back and read alot of your enteries. Sometimes you just can't write. When I was having my challenges I took up knitting again. It was like having a string to reality, something to hold onto when I couldn't talk with anyone. I still knit because I find it very zen. I make alot of scarf and throws. I also like FarmVille, because for a time you are busy creating a lovely place and you get away for awhile. Just some thoughts. I understand about your cat. My dog Katie passed away on Nov. 7, 2005 and I still miss her. Sadie her pal was lost for a long while, then little Malcolm(whom was a rescue doggie) came into Sadie's life. Sadie is Malcolm's girlfriend. So anyhoo, have a good day tomorrow. =^..^=
from catsoul :
Thanks Flicka, glad you are back writing. Writing does help. Also thanks for the positive remarks you wrote to me. Take care. =^..^=
from emu-head :
Glad to be reading you again. Keep writing! I will be here.
from graypaint :
There is a time of day when I should be away from the computer. I hope I didn't catch you in one of my 'schizoaffective' periods. If you would like to be friends on facebook, please do. Things work out in the end, they always do, I believe.
from graypaint :
Hi. I go to the Warehouse 1005 right next to Phx Art Awakenings. It would be good, and scary, to see you again. When do you start AA? I usually go on Wednesdays, but could go other times. I am still 'making art.' Just finished a couple abstracts and working on oils at home. :)
from graypaint :
Hi. I had an art show in downtown PHX and one of my pictures had a faerie coming into and going out of my life. Sound like anyone? I saw Cynthia, remember her? Anyway, take care.
from graypaint :
On second thought, PLEASE don't give me access --- this is not reverse psychology. ;) Bye. I think I should move on with my life... Please check out MY diary if you are so inclined.
from graypaint :
Hi, maybe you know who this is - maybe not. I am sure interested in having access to your diary. Please consider it.
from devils-rose :
Hi there, I'm back from my own extended hiatus and trying to catch up with everyone - password?
from depressmarks :
Well I guess I'll find a new ring thanks anyways.
from depressmarks :
Hey I am new to your ring : ) But it appears most have their diaries locked or have not been on for a while. May I have log in info please !! at least you update lol MarksOfDepression@yahoo.com
from flicka :
If you want a login and password, let me know
from flicka :
I've locked my journal for now. I'm sober, doing better, trying to heal, and am calm. There's nothing like paranoia (or actual threats) to promote healing and wanting to preserve oneself!
from writergrrl88 :
May I have password access? (writergrrl88@yahoo.com) I hope you're doing okay.
from franksfrank :
Look I am done fighting with you, and leaving mesages. Say what you want to, it doesn't matter. I though we could still be friends but it's all good if you don't. If you do " cool " I always like going to the show with you, if you don't " cool " I have a lot of goals I'm working on, and this isn't about us getting back together it never was. You know how to contact me if you want too.
from writergrrl88 :
I hope this person leaves you alone, because I enjoy your presence here and believe it is a good outlet for you. Know that you have my support. Take care!
from life-my-way :
I just wanted to tell you that I enjoy your journal and will miss you if you go. I'm sorry there is meanness and that some of it is coming your way. You deserve better.
from franksfrank :
LOL you are unbelievable with your lies, you can't even tell if you are telling the truth or not any more.
from franksfrank :
LOL ALL I SAID IN THAT NOTE ON YOUR COMPUTER WAS ABOUT HOW MUCH I ENJOYED THIS OTHER GIRLS PUSSY....... THEN YOU KICKED ME OUT YOU BITCH QUIT YOUR FUCKING LYING, FYI I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR NEW TOY YOU ARE HIS PROBLEM NOW YOU CRAZY BITCH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I CAN'T BE WITH YOU ANYMORE AND I HAD TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU. FYI NOW THAT I'M NOT WITH YOU I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO SHOOT UP AND BE A WORTHLESS JUNKY LIKE OTHERS I KNOW. I PLAN ON RETIRING AT 40 AND NOT HAVE TO WORK AGAIN AND I AM OPENING MY OWN BUSINESS IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. : p EAT ME AND STOP TALKING SHIT, I WOULDN'T HURT YOU ANYWAYS AND I WOULD NEVER THREATEN YOU OR SAY IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU NO ONE CAN LOL YOU KNOW I DON'T ROLL LIKE THAT. ILL GIVE YOU MONEY SOON, BUT DON'T FORGET THAT I HAD A JOB TILL I MET YOU. " LEECH " GO DIE IN A FIRE YOU WITCH !!! LOL I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT YOU ARE STRUNG OUT AGAIN AND WILL JUST OD AGAIN ANYWAYS, FYI I AM NOT GOING TO BE THEIR TO GIVE YOU AIR TILL THE MEDICS GET THEIR THIS TIME YOU WILL DIE !! GOD I HOPE YOU ARE OK AND DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN........ WHY DID YOU GET SO MAD WHEN I FUCKED THAT OTHER GIRL, IT'S NOT LIKE WE WERE TOGETHER THAN LOL YOU DAM CRY BABY.... GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET HELP BEFORE YOU KILL YOUR SELF.......
from franksfrank :
Felicia you are losing your mind and you need to get some help you should check your self into a long term hospital, and get back on your meds.
from franksfrank :
I take that back don't ever contact me again for I have a restraining order against you now. Don't ever talk to me again you crazy !! Or I'll put your but In jail.
from franksfrank :
Hey just remember to keep your head up and have some pride. If you need a friend you know how to contact me : P
from writergrrl88 :
*hugs* Wishing you the best -- I'm at writergrrl88@yahoo.com if you need to rant a bit.
from btex :
Praying for you while you are in hospital, Keep thoe doctors and nurses on their toes! - Make sure they service you well.
from writergrrl88 :
*hugs* I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to you. I hope you find some relief soon.
from somstar :
I've been down that same road and it sucks, especially when someone you care about forgets your birthday :( That's pretty fucked up. Try to stay optimistic.
from somstar :
I hope you feel better by now!
from writergrrl88 :
I'm so sorry you're going through all this -- you really need to get out of that house and somewhere you can heal (physically and emotionally) safely. Most importantly, you need to get away from poisonous spiders. (What part of Indiana are you in ... I live in the same state and am wondering if I should be worried about the little beasts.)
from princesscee :
You sound like you do need to get out of that house at least. If it's making you ill, then you shouldn't be there. I hope you can get to the doctor to take care of the fever, and you start feeling better soon.
from illusionless :
I'm so sorry! Holy shit that is a lot to deal with all at once! I think you should follow your dreams. It's never too late.
from candoor :
take control of your life and you - only you can - and you can the moment you believe you can - doubt is the enemy, fear is it's power, you can be more powerful and overrule everything - do it! (or just take a vacation, wanna run around disneyworld for a while? :)
from graypaint :
hay, I just had a severe case of deja-vu whilst reading your latest entry. You know that feeling when the Matrix checks in on itself to make adjustments? Anyway, I had a beer and am listening to the music CD you ONCE LONG AGO gave me. I don't want to throw the past in your face so I'll say I hope you are successful in whatever you do try in the future! And may we all get what we dream and be what we want!
from princesscee :
Yikes, I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. I hope you have a safe pregnancy, and everything goes well. I think you know what is best for yourself. It doesn't hurt to get advice from others, but it's ultimately your choice and your own instincts that guide you. Take care and let us know how you get along.
from writergrrl88 :
What happened?!?!? What do you mean you almost died? If you ever need to rant about the things going on in your life, I'm here. (I know you don't know me very well, but sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't have to deal with IRL.) My e-mail is writergrrl88@yahoo.com. I wish you health, happiness, and stability. *hugs*
from godzgirlz :
Just dropped by....Piperjoy myspace.com/agirlhadgone...myspace.com/agirlhadgonemad
from candoor :
thanks for visiting whenever you did... i've been gone a long time and may be gone again for a long time, but i was here just now and send you a smile :)
from life-my-way :
And we're gonna rock her (expensively manicured) toe socks! We're gonna make that Eat, Pray, Love chick look like a bucket of lukewarm spit (which, frankly, she kinda did anyway). You're going to be the next...oh, hell no...You're going to be the FIRST YOU!!!
from life-my-way :
Co-author. Editor. Agent. You name it--I'm woefully underemployed and over educated and can do it all. Let's get writing and we'll be on Oprah before you can say "Gail King."
from life-my-way :
Fiction is all about the lies, just be smart enough to leave them speculating as to its autobiographic nature--you know, the difference between the being and the seeming. I'd love for you to read my diary--username life, pw onthesly. I like to believe I'm at least 70% as interesting as any other 46 year old housewife, but I may be deluding myself. I say, give the book a chance, you've got the right stuff.
from life-my-way :
Fiction is all about the lies, just be smart enough to leave them speculating as to its autobiographic nature--you know, the difference between the being and the seeming. I'd love for you to read my diary--username life, pw onthesly. I like to believe I'm at least 70% as interesting as any other 46 year old housewife, but I may be deluding myself. I say, give the book a chance, you've got the right stuff.
from flicka :
Yeah, but my book would be all lies....
from life-my-way :
I found you through your banner and read nearly every entry--you should write a book, it would be better than A Million Little Pieces.
from apathyascend :
Thank you for pardoning me. Luckily the Man upstairs feels the same. Hope all is well, or at least better.
from emu-head :
You ARE Flickalicious.
from calmish :
Hi, I'm still here, just haven't updated in a while. I've been so up and down recently I couldn't put down a coherent thought. I hope you're ok, I always find myself wondering how you are...it's odd. xx
from catsoul :
Well I tried to read your writing. There isn't anything to click on to get there. I don't know what I am doing wrong. =^..^=
from razornotes00 :
ok i set your password and username up :) happy readings lol <33
from bipolarchild :
(A)my Winehouse CD's
from writergrrl88 :
1) I friended you on LJ with full access, which means you don't need a password to read all of my ranting, whining, and reflecting. 2) I have a very unusual (but not public-appropriate) story about how I heard about HST's passing. If you're ever interested, e-mail me at Writergrrl88@yahoo.com. 3) If you haven't read his "Screwjack," you should read it as soon as you get a chance. 4) It's always worth counting the days you're sober. 5) Do you read Elizabeth Wurtel? I recommend "Prozac Nation" (especially while getting/staying sober)?
from flicka :
When Hunter S. Thompson took his life, at least 5 people came over and/or called to check on me. I was fine, but you guessed it--I did read him and like him. I received 2 Bs in grad school--one was a rhetoric class. It was basically worship Kenneth Burke soup and read like mad. The other one was the PhD version of the rhetoric class which was basically Burke salad with Queer Theory dressing. I wrote a paper about the film Bound, and I don't think he liked it much....violet being a gay color...bla bla bla. I'm out of academia, and it's really quite strange. It's like two worlds colliding (not original) (it's a Tim or Neil Finn album). Anyhow, I'm glad to be discussing all of this with someone. It's been a long time since I've discussed such matters that I paid so dearly for.....
from writergrrl88 :
I read a bit of Burke during my early M.A. program (during which my friend, seeking her M.A. in Communications, kept shoving his work at me and saying "there has to be a way to tie this in with your zombie/consumerism/film stuff" ... in the end, there wasn't, because I was doing a genre study). Still, what I read, I liked. I'm guessing you've read Hunter S. Thompson and the like?
from writergrrl88 :
What about Kenneth Burke?
from writergrrl88 :
Yay for fellow Yule-enthusiasts. I'd gladly give you a password, but first -- are you sure you want to read? All my entries are years old -- I use LJ as my regular updating place now. If you make an LJ name, I'll gladly add you so you can read my friended entries there. :)
from miedema2002 :
I hope you are not self-harming. I wish you luck in recovering.
from miedema2002 :
lol yeah! I like Judith Butler and M Focault etc. What's funny is that I made sense of it for my friend and then we brainstormed hard questions for her groupmates in class! When she attended class none of the students understood it accept for her and the teacher, so the teacher had to try and make sense of it for the class ahd my friend helped. Our questions caused much debate as well among her group and she said the rest of the class had simple yes or no questions. She bragged to her class about me saying I was wicked smart and stuff! I don't think I am. Really if you look at it Judith Butler is repetitive and blabby. If you can disect those two things and get to the nitty gritty of her points and the details surrounding them it's really quite simple...to me at least. lol that made me feel good. I felt bad bragging about it to my family though...I'm usually very humble. A little ego boost whoops not good! anyways I hope you enjoyed your christmas and new years! Stay safe. bye bye.
from graypaint :
Dare I say that on my website is a picture I was going to say "For F.B.V." but feared both the unknowns of the pulic scrutiny and the controversy it would cause... It's called "The Impossible" and it is in the "new" section and yes, it's for you. (remember I am a surrealist and meanings are not as clear as mysteries are in this case)
from liquid-mojo :
ouch... is it bad of me to want to take a baseball bat to the bastard?
from for-you-only :
I've seen your notes everywhere. I clicked on your banner which is incredibly well designed for something that must have been made in Microsoft Paint. :)
from fluttrbykiss :
Ohhhh Sweety!!! I am soooooo sorry that he did this to you. I don't live with physical abuse. I live with mental and emotional abuse, which IN NO WAY compares to what you go through, but I want you to know that I know how you feel and if you EVER want to talk I'm just a note away.... *huggles*
from razornotes00 :
Holy crap!! You poor thing.. Try a heat pack, or somethign warm, at night time to ease the pain and possible muscle damage. you look very skinny too, so try to eat something, and have a cup of tea. Just relax a little, girl. I hope the bruises go away for you soon <3
from miedema2002 :
Is that you? Holy crap...I don't quite know how to respond...I'm sorry...I wish you out of this hell hole you're in.
from graypaint :
Hi, I have been participating in a Surrealist/Fantastic/Visionary Arts forum on the internet. It keeps my artist happy :) I have also read your diary. That is some rough stuff to have to deal with I know. I feel for you too. Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" is corny and popular but has a good message. (a song)
from razornotes00 :
*happy sigh* Bright Eyes are beautiful, and I'm glad you love them :] You totaly deserve all the healthiness and happieness that you want, so don't hold back from giving yourself it, ok? ok. :] Peace!
from calmish :
Now that I'm here I don't quite know what to say... what can I say? There's no point saying you shouldn't stay with someone who hits you because that's obvious, and maybe part of you thinks you deserve it, but you don't. I used to take a sick sort of pleasure in being treated badly because it validated my own sense of worthlessness. Is that what you're feeling? Once again I wish I could do something for you, but I suppose there's nothing I can do. I'm a non-person really. Take care. x
from graypaint :
I was struck by curiosity once again... It's good to see your writing although I feel like a voyeur in some sense. But your life is so fascinating --- all the drama is there. I always look at where I am and wonder how I got this far. Then extend that thought into how far I could still further go!!! So, what I'm trying to say is, there is hope around the corner I'm sure. If you want, look at my latest entry...
from fluttrbykiss :
Hi. Just wanted to let you know that I added you as a user... Your user: flicka.. Your pswd: flicka. Let me know if it works. I've never done muliple user and pswd's before... ;o) Thanks for wanting to keep reading... ;o) *huggles*
from devils-rose :
Take a moment to breathe. You'll get through everything. It may hurt like hell, but you'll do it, and you'll be stronger than ever. Maybe then you'll truly realize that you're far more than you give yourself credit for being, and that you really do deserve all the good things in life. Until that sinks in though, fake it for all you're worth. Eventually the act will become a reality. There are people looking out for you. Trust them. They'll see you through. -hug-
from for-you-only :
I don't use music on sites anymore like I used to. I find that I can't read with music playing. lol.
from paintedgray :
so you know all this, yet you are perputually making the same mistake over and over again. what about you? what about making yourself happy?
from miedema2002 :
Thanks for the note. I don't think I'll tell her. I'll just try and forget it. Life is a hard road. I'm sorry that your bf abuses you. Please get out of the situation and find someone who treats you wonderfully.
from paintedgray :
i think you know better than to with someone who hits you. why are you with him? what counter balances the fact that there is physical violence involved? i am very curious to understand what is your reality. happy writing!
from apathyascend :
Don't let an innanimate object control you. Now I can go tell myself the same. You're in my thoughts.
from offbymyself :
addiction is something that is hard to define because people can be addicted to different things and in many different ways. every addiction is unique, yet similar. i know that alcohol was something hard for me to give up, but i saw what it was doing to my life and decided that i could no longer obtain such a habit. to give way to any addiction that calls to you is to say that your desire to have is stronger than your will to abstain. i pray the best for you and hope you make the right choices. to gain control of an addiction is to gain control of something that once controlled you, making you stronger than you thought and more proud than you can ever imagine. don't get me wrong though, the road is rough, but you have people that have faith in you... but most importantly, you should have faith in yourself.
from offbymyself :
hello. i know you don't know me, but your journal truly makes me heart ache. i've seen a lot of things of the sort and i've had an alcohol addiction myself, which is hard to stay away from when you live in a small town where everyone parties. i dropped a lot of 'friends' and lost many more. i hope the best for you and your recovery. i know how hard things can be. the emotional restraint is almost as hard as the physical one, when it comes to any kind of addiction.
from emu-head :
Glad to hear you're getting better. I wish you so much luck.
from emu-head :
I'm honoured that you'd pay to read me. :-P And you know what, I think for the first time in my life... I agree with what Oprah said. I've missed you too, I wish you could write more.
from graypaint :
Hello there your secrets safe with me. I once before cried tears for the sake of death. Now I cry for the sake of rebirth. Catch you on the other side I hope? Other side he he he
from devils-rose :
*e-hugs* As I've said before, I'm sorry you're hurting and that life is all screwy for you. I don't believe in a specific god, but I thought I'd tell you that even while I've been AWOL from my journal, I've been praying to the universe on your behalf and will continue to do so because it's really all I can do. I sincerely hope that things begin to improve - although it must seem as though they never can. Not that there's much I really can do for you, but if you ever need anything, you know where my diary is. I'll try to help as much as I can. Just take it one day at a time; things can only plummet so far before they level off and begin to rise again.
from orgami :
day before the weakend listening to a 1982/83 version of a medieval french song sung by Siouxsie and the Banshees on U Tube a young Robert Smith is in there the televisied show is grainy its hard to say if its just a set or a real back street very cool video very
from liquid-mojo :
happy pre-birthday. :) i owe you a shot for each year. so what are we up to now, 21? ;)
from miedema2002 :
What can I say? I'm a nerd lol! I like your diary. The pink is hard to read against the yello, but the black text is so easy to read! so it evens out! Take it easy and like liquid-mojo said take it one breath at a time...
from liquid-mojo :
i hate to sound cliche, but i'd say, just take things one breath at a time.
from miedema2002 :
*hugs* From a new reader.
from calmish :
I have no idea what you're going through so I won't say "I know what you're going through", it wouldn't help anyway. If I was over there with you I'd give you a big hug, but I'm all rank and bony so you wouldn't exactly feel comforted, more horrified. All I can say is that I'm thinking of you, which probably doesn't mean much either. So now I feel as useless as you do helpless...how's that? Sorry for the nonsense.. lots of love, Jo xx
from crazyblueyes :
you are not worthless, not not not. *HUG* i can't say i know exactly how you feel but i can relate, and i'm deeply sorry for all that has happened. What can i do to be a friend?
from scotvalkyrie :
((hugs)) from a stranger.
from phatgrrl :
Hugs from a stranger. Please remember that the tunnel vision of depression is only temporary.
from apathyascend :
Wouldn't it be great/horrible if they sold Cheese at your local deli counter? Kind of like the Amsterdam of the heroin world.
from nattsvermer :
do you mean flicka as in the swedish word for girl?
from apathyascend :
Just wanted to drop you one and say hi. The tone of your most recent post is a depressing one. I'm sorry that life is like this for us.
from devils-rose :
My sympathies. I'm terribly sorry you're going through all this horrible stuff. My best wishes are with you, but being an agnostic, I'm afraid prayers are a bit out of my league. I hope things get as close to better as they can, in light of everything that's going on. Sending e-hugs of consolation. -hug-
from liquid-mojo :
Sorry to hear the predicament with your partner. Having some experience of people close to me passing away, I know facing death is never easy, but I do wish the best for both of you.
from emu-head :
No such thing as over-noting. :-P Hope you're doing as alright as possible.
from apathyascend :
I appreciate your notes. Words of someone that remembers my existence means more to me than most, but maybe that's an unfair assessment. The woman you love? Is it in the way that I'm thinking?
from calmish :
It's unfortunate having the same birthday as Bush, but he's a fud and you're not, and he won't be president forever, hopefully he'll be replaced with someone better and the world won't hate americans so much. I think it's unfair to judge a race based on their eejit of a leader anyway. I'm sorry you're having such a shit time at the moment, really wish there was something I could do.. lots of love xx
from devils-rose :
Sending sympathy and hugs. Hope life gets better soon! :)
from emu-head :
I've really missed reading you too!!
from devils-rose :
I'm terribly sorry to hear what a rough time you've been having lately. I hope everything gets better soon. :)
from pyroguysr :
I noticed that you were one of Tony's (T85225) friends. Perhaps you read his blogs about his battle with cancer. I'm sad to report that he succumbed and passed away this week at age 49. He was a good online friend of mine and will be sorely missed. I left some details on his D-land diary notes.
from devils-rose :
Well, I'd be being facetious and very obviously lying if I said "nobody important," but I'd like to preserve as much anonymity as possible at the same time, so...are you familiar with the musical Wicked? We'll call him Fiyero...he's a good friend, if a bit shallow and self-absorbed, and I can't help but like him more than I should. He's also European, which doesn't help in the least, and he and I have been friends for over a year despite living on opposite sides of the Atlantic. I guess that's a good enough answer. Glad to hear you like your new job and orange hair, too. Smile!
from calmish :
Hi, I'm glad someone remembers me! I hope all's well with you and you're not stressed. Orange hair sounds interesting! I got all mine cut off and now I look slightly boyish :( lots of love, xxx
from devils-rose :
Hope everything's alright in your corner of the universe...I haven't been on in ages, and I see you haven't either. Hopefully the silence means all's well with you.
from devils-rose :
Thank you :) It's appreciated.
from liquid-mojo :
Well I don't know, I'm sure there are guys that would find the double bi thing sexy. ;) As for me, I'm scoring some after-valentine's day sale candy tomorrow. =p
from emu-head :
I love you!
from liquid-mojo :
No, I don't personally know any sharks that will work for free. ;) There are some that give free initial consultations however and if they smell the possibility of large punitive damages that they can get 1/3 of who knows?
from liquid-mojo :
yeah, people in general are dumb, some even bordering to the point of craziness and i'm certainly not immune to that affliction, because there are times I certainly feel like i'm both. sorry to hear about your former employer not paying up for the needle stick. if you haven't already, maybe you should consult with a lawyer.
from apathyascend :
Fucking exactly. --- "I have tried to fill the emptiness with food, hunger, friends, fucks, loves, hates, shoes, medication, shopping, drugs, alcohol, family, houses, pools, planting trees, overworking, underworking, caring, not caring, exercising, not exercising, watching TV, playing excessively on the computer, artwork, completing art, writing a poem or two, journaling, and crying."
from liquid-mojo :
I've actually recovered from my cold recently, although it took quite a bit longer than usual to do so. I'll check out your friend's diary when I get the chance. :)
from emu-head :
My pleasure. :)
from emu-head :
Hey, you ARE wonderful. Employers are universally stupid though.
from liquid-mojo :
Thanks. :) I wish some of the girls in my phone directory thought more like you do.
from freesey :
You're hard on yourself, you have high expectations... I'm not sure that constitutes hate of self.
from t85225 :
No matter the green in the kleenex, the less-than-girly feeling (although I suspect you're always girly), they sexy-but-dying car... I still think you rock :) Just wanted to say that.
from devils-rose :
I'm sorry you're scared of those things. I hope things end up turning out for you the way you hope for them to be, and better, although judging by your most recent entries, it doesn't seem like they're heading that way right now. I hope you didn't get any scary diseases from that needle stick, and as for the rest of it, well I sincerely hope that everything improves for you.
from apathyascend :
I've been wondering where you've been. I miss your notes. My life has been stagnant and miserable up until I put a downpayment on something I've wanted for a LONG time--an African grey (parrot). He was hatched 12/15/06 and will be ready to come home with me mid-March. This is the only thing I feel like I have to live for at the moment. Oh yeah, and my husband. pfft. Eh, 'pfft' is harsh, I think. How about I just go with 'sigh'? Works for me. I love my husband. He just makes me want to beat my face in with a hammer at times.
from wherwhenwhy :
I will get back to my writings when I have figured out what I have done with the rest of me. Happy 5th of January, every day is the beginning of a new year. lots of love
from freesey :
It is really hard to live sometimes. I wish there were something I could say to help. But when one is in the depths of despair, being told that it will get better does nothing to take away one's current pain. You feel how you feel when you feel it, and no amount of logic can change that. The only thing that logic can do is give you a reason to hold on for another day. BTW, I think it's great that you've taken someone in to try to help... that can give one a great sense of purpose. You sound like a very caring individual... perhaps you love too much, if that's possible?
from apathyascend :
I've wondered where you'd been.
from t85225 :
DAMN I'm glad to see you back! HUGSSSSS
from t85225 :
Where hath my flica gone? Let me know you're OK... ok?
from freesey :
You remind me of the 25 year old version of myself. I too thought that it was not possible to experience depth of emotion without feeling depths of pain. I too had thoughts of suicide for many, many years. I too would sabotage myself in the 23rd mile of a marathon. I too would draw people near, love them and discard them. Where you are now is a difficult place to be. You have my sympathies and I sincerely hope you find your way.
from fuck-- :
Good fucking luck on your exam >:D I fucking hate exams >:|
from t85225 :
While we ALL love to hear from ya... stop farting around and study! :) (then, come back and write your heart out... we miss ya!)
from t85225 :
bliss = good YAY!!!
from calmish :
you had shingles too! I thought I was a freak of nature, thankfully they're gone now. not sure what's going on for you as I've been missing in action for a while, but hope everything's ok. lots of luv, Jo xx
from t85225 :
Here's to at least 19 of the 20 holding up and making your day less sucky (or... hey, lets dream BIG! lets have 'em make your day totally non-sucky!). Hugs ya...
from emu-head :
I know notes like this never really help at all, but I really hope things get better for you. And I agree, if that many people have that much time to get that worked up about a damn fax, then they really need more to do.
from emu-head :
How does one get Google hits? I don't know. They just happen. If you have a Gold membership, you can see what people are searching for when they come up with your diary. It's great fun. And scary.
from liquid-mojo :
falling for someone and loving someone are two different things i guess. although i've only experienced it a few times, the "lovers high" is a really nice feeling and it's even better when it's mutual. but yeah, a broken heart that you haven't quite gotten over with may prevent you from feeling it again.
from bipolarchild :
HIV meds, what the hell did I miss?
from emu-head :
"Things get better, unless they don't". How true.
from catsoul :
Hi, thanks for reading my journal. I feel for you with your health. This year I have dealt with some life threatening health issues myself. It puts it all in perspective. Yes I love my pets, all of them, even the two that passed away this year. So I hear you woman! =^..^=
from apathyascend :
Chocolate and bullet holes. I love it.
from girlof78 :
Just stopping by to send you a great big "HELLO!" look behind it, there's a big hug hidden there. 8o) Hope you're staying warm, it's chilly up here.
from liquid-mojo :
you should share, because sharing is caring and not sharing is well, not caring. =p oh thanks for stopping by.
from t85225 :
hehehe... take it over, eh? You're all set for England, short of a ticket. Bloddy and fucking... both key phrases over here... even on TV. Gotta wonder about a place when they run a series on television called 'Designer Vaginas' and next week's lineup is called 'Wankers Week' (I kid you not). Bloody fucking hell, I've run outta space... drop me an email sometime!
from t85225 :
it's a pimple or a maggot... writers block? :p How ya doing, anyway? Inquiring minds want to know!
from apathyascend :
If only. If only we could speak things into existence. But it'd be a scary ability to have, because surely, being faulty and disgusting creatures, we'd use it for terrible our own carnal desires; completely blind to looming consequence.
from devils-rose :
A beautician, eh? There are a lot of good schools for that. I know because I worked at one as an office intern...some of my very best gay boyfriends came out of that job. But anyway, as for the love thing...isn't that what all of us are looking to do? Seems like it's impossible to recognize a good thing while it's there. Well, Happy Halloween, and good luck. :)
from emu-head :
Glad to be of service. :-)
from annanotbob :
Nothing useful to say but wanted to give you a hug {{{{hug}}}} xxx
from t85225 :
Thank god someone else posted a note... with 3 in a row, was appearing / feeling rather stalkerish. Oh, I haven't anything to say... it just felt safe again. Hope you have a great weekend flicka
from alwaysmuted :
Purple and green pens are awesome to take notes with.:)
from bipolarchild :
welp, there goes EVERYTHING I EAT. Does double cheeseburgers at Mcdonalds have corn syrup in them? HE HE.
from apathyascend :
Awesome. Those are all of my daily staple food items. Lovely. How's things?
from t85225 :
omg girl! lol... you do know how to get yourself into a pickle. At least your getting rosy cheeks in the process... go with the flow :p
from t85225 :
smiles... at times, Mr Zimmerman knew just what he was talking about. Maybe you shoud just kick back, chill and give in to his coaxings.... or just kick back and chill and listen some more :)
from t85225 :
smiles... at times, Mr Zimmerman knew just what he was talking about. Maybe you shoud just kick back, chill and give in to his coaxings.... or just kick back and chill and listen some more :)
from annanotbob :
I want you to do my hair too, but with a few little blue/green/purple flashes - I've always wanted to have it done in bonfire colours. 8TD are one of my classes. I teach in what we call a high school, kids from 11-16. They're taught according to age (not kept back) and the years are numbered from year 1 at age 5, so year 8 are 12/13. TD is their form tutors intial. I don't know how you have time to breathe, never mind anything else. Your workload is PHENOMENAL xxx
from annanotbob :
Hiya - thanks for your notes. The name comes from our having two cats called bob and pete, which led to bobnotpete as a password on some things and then to annanotbob. I like to think there's a hint of Dylan and Marley - nah, I know there isn't. I have not found out how to protect my entries from google without locking up, and I'm pretty pissed off about it. When I started writing here I assumed that no one would ever be able to find one little diary in amongst all the zillions of pages and wrote openly and freely about everything. Pretty uncool for a teacher. I still resist locking up though and intend to claim ignorance if I get in the shit for it. I still don't understand how photos I post can turn up on google though. Any ideas? Hope you are well xxx
from emu-head :
I've missed you too, Flicka!
from t85225 :
Welcome back... missed ya.
from annanotbob :
There is some weird kind of magic that means when I am bored and have read all my buddies and randomly click on those who have updated I will always find someone who is either a) dealing with mental health shit (like me) or b) a teacher (like me). Or sometimes both - woo hoo!! I wish you well, dear flicka, from across the ocean, and I'm adding you xxx
from t85225 :
Hey, flica! You there??? (wipes the fog off the glass and peers in) Don't MAKE me come over there and tie you to the excercise bike so you can post (how DO you to that, anyway?)
from t85225 :
Hey, flica! You there??? (wipes the fog off the glass and peers in) Don't MAKE me come over there and tie you to the excercise bike so you can post (how DO you to that, anyway?)
from jaydeco :
hmmm...how strange and utterly random.
from t85225 :
Hows the new roomie? Inquiring minds wanna know! Hope you're having a good weekend!
from mspersephone :
I am humbled by the sheer number of tasks you take on. Also, I was amused by your curling iron incident a few entries ago...I was immediately swept back to my junior high days!
from girlof78 :
Could it be that you're too hard on yourself? You're awesome sweetie, that's a great starting point. 8o)
from emu-head :
That is exactly what I want too.
from bipolarchild :
it's the lack of sleep that brings my empire down. I LOVE THAT!!!
from calmish :
Hello! Just wanted to say hi really and make sure you're all right. Take care! Lots of love, Jo xx
from flicka :
No worries. I slept 7 hours last night...that makes 21 hours total in the last 7 days! I'm feeling better. It's the lack of sleep bringing me down.
from t85225 :
Stop stressing you out? But I just bought all this nifty 'stress out your friends' gear (ok, so some was used... so sue me!). Look, rain on your own parade if you want, but don't take away my ONE simple pleasure of stressing you out away! Seesh...
from mspersephone :
Congratulations on getting rid of the Jackass! Your superfun/weird friend sounds interesting.
from bipolarchild :
thanks for your concern. You know, I sometimes doubt God when I see the trouble Gavin has to go through. But then I'm reminded EVERYONE has their struggles - babies born fused together who have to have surgery, burn victims, people with aging parents in nursing homes, my sister and her daughter who's 4 and has cancer....the list goes on and on...its our test!
from anipunk8831 :
Thanks, Flicka. ^_^ Thanks for welcoming me back.
from t85225 :
boundries... yup, yup, a tough one all right. If it helps (misery loves company, after all), most of us don't get that one right
from anipunk8831 :
Hi there! I'm back! I haven't seen you for a while! How's it been?
from rifrisido :
oh, you're in alright.
from t85225 :
Hugs for ya... remembering Big Baby. Let it make ya smile instead of frown.
from mspersephone :
Woo hoo, anthropology!!! Fun! You sound like a very busy bee...
from hip2bme :
Thanks! I'm just busy busy!!!!! How are you doing? HUGS HUGS HUGS! Love, Anele
from t85225 :
Wanna keep the Dan's of the world away? quit feeding him (yeah, we guys are all alike! shallow and hungry!) Hugs
from girlof78 :
(((HUGS))) I can sympathize.
from crazyblueyes :
no they don't, but it's not a big deal... i feel bad asking, i'd rather they buy something from me haha then i don't feel bad. I hope everything is going well with you :) i do make it to your blog some but i just suck at leaving comments.
from wherwhenwhy :
I'm thinking you might just need a break from men for a while, step back and gain a new perspective. It all just seems so complicated. Either that or just kick him in the head back, that's simple. lots of love
from emu-head :
lmfao is "laughing my fucking ass off", isn't it? I dunno, I've never been all that up on internet slang. Anyways... I think you're far more of a trooper than I am. I'm just a complainer.
from flicka :
what's imfao?
from after- :
lmfao you're not supposed to use it on your "special parts"
from hip2bme :
It didn't count you in... did you write your name and pressed to save it after you colaborated? Hugs!
from mspersephone :
Hey, I like your diary...so, umm, thanks for writing a good diary? I, personally, think that moolah is a free spirit, not meant to be held captive.
from apathyascend :
Seven deadly sins: Wrath, Slothfulness, Gluttony, Lust, Greed, Pride and Envy. How many do you struggle with? For me, I struggle with every single one of them.
from t85225 :
Different-colored baggage? OMG, it was you I saw at the airport! I think must of us seek out those that carry things colored differently than the rest... but I'd take those scissors away from ya in a heart-beat :p
from emu-head :
Hey! I'm still reading you too. Always look forward to updates.
from fuck-- :
fuck me, I procrastinate...
from hip2bme :
you can just enter kevan.org/johari?name=Hip2bme
from apathyascend :
Hope everything's going well for you. I'm in the middle of mayhem, but not all of it bad. Most of it is pretty decent, strangely enough. I can complain, though I won't. >_<
from hip2bme :
Oops, crazy me gave you the wrong url. The right one is this one: http://kevan.org/johari?name=Hip2bme Sorry! hahaha! Hugs!!!!
from hip2bme :
Hey!!! Really long time since we last talked! I'm glad you don't hate kittens anymore! lol I understand you were in a bad mood, that's ok! :) As you can imagine I'm going crazy here. With trying to find a new house and all... anyway! Hey, I made this Johari Window, would you like to describe me? Here: http://kevan.org/johari?view=Hip2bme Well, I'm going now! Don't be a stranger!!! Hope to talk to you soon! Hugs!
from iamblessed :
Mr. Cameron is a high school teacher who taught me for three years. He was an incredible mentor and friend to me throughout my years there.
from after- :
How the hell can you hate kitetns? That's like hating bunnies! You don't hate bunnies to do you?
from calmish :
Hi! So happy to see you're happy! You truly deserve it. Lots of love, Jo xx
from girlof78 :
Just dropping in to say "Hi my friend" 8o) Thinking of you. 8o)
from girlof78 :
My friend, what happened??? 8...o( I'm so sorry for your loss ((((HUGS)))) I know it's of little comfort right now, but I hope you feel better as the days progress. So sorry sweetie. 8o( My love.
from calmish :
seems little comfort saying sorry when you you're feeling so awful, but I really am sorry. hope you've got someone to talk to about it. lots of love, xx
from emu-head :
So sorry for your loss.
from emu-head :
That's what I'm here for! :-)
from calmish :
So so so sorry about your cat, can't imagine how hard it must be losing him after so long. I hope you have lots of photos to remember him by when he's not around. Hope they're making him comfortable. Take care and try not to get too down. Lots of love, Jo xxx
from emu-head :
I'm so sorry about your cat. I know how painful this must be for you. I know that doesn't really help you much, but I just wanted to say it.
from hip2bme :
If you're lonely, you can call, e-mail, whatever! me. I'm here for you! And poor cat. Hope he's gonna be ok! Hugs!
from girlof78 :
Hi my dear, (((HUGS))) Sounds like you will have a lot going on. What are you planning on teaching? Hope your cat feels better. 8o( Constipation, not cool! SF is big enough for you and psycho (or not) boys. 8op hehe Learn to love your perfect imperfections chika, itís apart of whom we are so love them in the process of changing them that way itís not so difficult in the meantime. ;o) Must love in your direction, know that I think of you fondly always. 8o)
from calmish :
It's a book written by a woman who had a serious eating disorder when she was growing up and ended up in hospital etc. I liked it because it wasn't self-indulgent like a lot of those books can be, it felt more like reading poetry. It's a bit triggering tho. Lots of love, Jo xx
from emu-head :
Well, I called in sick on Saturday, I actually was sick and I still felt guilty. And I felt guilty when I quit. And I still feel guilty. But I'm surprised that I managed to do it. We all reach our breaking point, though, and I think that was mine. But I wish you well in your job... maybe the new facility will work out well. Gotta keep an open mind.
from hip2bme :
Nah, I just have my link on my signature on a couple of forums I go to and when I play a game or something I leave a comment saying I played the game. People simply visit others that play, and sometimes like my blog and come back. I also visit other people. But I don't ask for visits. I don't like asking for it since I can't stand people who come over to me and ask for visits! HUGS HUGS HUGS!!! Anele
from calmish :
It's like the old fashioned billiards, and a more complicated and difficult version of pool with bigger tables and more rules, I think. It's ace! Hope you're doing fine, lots if love, Jo xx
from lovemyfriend :
.. the sex in the city girls would seem to be a cool group of girls to chill out with for sure ;)
from emu-head :
Ooooh, San Diego. I'm jealous. Every once in a while I think I'm so destined to be a Californian.
from hip2bme :
Wooohooo! Happy birthday, happy birthday!!! I wish you aaaaalllll the best!!!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE! Anele
from iamblessed :
I honestly don't know how I came to be so lucky. I suppose it's more than luck. He's been my best friend for years now, and we finally just realized that what we have is so much deeper than a simple friendship. In my opinion, if a couple has been friends first, their relationship can be that much sweeter.
from crazyblueyes :
thanks :) haven't heard from you in a while. they do look kinda like apples but they are actually cherries :D. hope all is well with you.
from calmish :
happy birthday, I hope you feel better soon, depression sucks but it's so enlightening. Lots of love, Jo xx
from girlof78 :
(((((HUG)))) for you on this day.
from after- :
haven't you seen the "depression hurts" commercials, choose to not be depressed, that's the way I'd go anyhow!
from emu-head :
Happy 4th of July to you. And me... I'd kill to be 31. It just seems so much better than 21.
from girlof78 :
Have a fun time in SD, you will be missed. 8o)
from after- :
I hope you're having fun on your trip! Happy 4th!
from emu-head :
Ooooh, nice banner. :)
from girlof78 :
LOL I had a good laugh with the last message you left me chika! Hope you do have a good (you know what) when you go (you know where). LoL!! More attractive you could not be my dear, you go and have fun! 8o/ eek hope you figure out whatís going on with your mail, thatís so scary how someone can steal your identity. ďI like liking someone to call, hearing someone's voice that's pleasant. And I HATE the telephone.Ē Story of my life, lol.
from alwaysmuted :
Not sure about layout stuff. Girlof78 is really good at that.Go ask her.:)
from calmish :
My support worker once said to me that the reason she tells some of her service users things about her life that she's really not allowed to divulge is because it feels unfair to her that she gets to know such intimate details of their lives when they know virtually nothing about hers. If there's a way for you to tell your client something about yourself without getting into trouble then you should do it, because it will help her to understand and feel closer to you which will help you to help her more, if that makes sense. Sorry for rambling! Lots of love, Jo xx
from mechanistic :
You're a trooper. :internet hug:
from hip2bme :
No, your life doesn't sound boring. At least for me (maybe mine is even more boring?). And I've got myself falling asleep while eating. What can I say? Eating makes me sleepy. (I know, I'm a strange person).
from hip2bme :
Yea, I like calmish! :)
from hip2bme :
I feel for the girl. It's a paradox. She needs some freedom but can't be totally free. I agree with you, her problems won't let her have her life completely. The things she was deprived of or stolen can not be restored. Maybe she could get personal care. Give her some sense of freedom and yet have someone care for her? It's really complicated. And of course you care. You're human. Not like others who foolish call themselves humans. Hugs!
from girlof78 :
Sweetie I'm so sorry to hear about your client, I feel for her. I mean to get to the point where you'll hurt yourself, wow, I can only begin to understand how much turmoil she's in. My heart goes out to her. You're such a caring person.
from girlof78 :
LOL I figured that you meant to say "fun" still, I had a good laugh with the "Freudian slip"!! ( 8op
from t85225 :
ahhh... membership fee? < digging in pockets > Lets see... some lint, a half-eaten and re-wrapped Charms (cherry), a pen that is bound to explode and ruin my pants... any of this stuff work? Check your yahell email... and thank god that girl has you to care <hugs>
from alwaysmuted :
Leave me an e-mail:)and I shall oblige,my friend.
from hip2bme :
Darling, you made me laugh! I love your last entry! Priceless! Hugs! LOVE LOVE LOVE! A.
from t85225 :
damn... I quit reading everyone for a bit, and they start writing. It's enough to give me a firm start on developing some serious paranoia-type thoughts... Drop me a line if ya get a chance (damn you're busy!). Missed ya!
from emu-head :
Oh my god. Truer words have never been spoken. I agree and can relate to that completely. Oh, to be not moody and making more money for less work.
from hip2bme :
Take the poor cat to the vet. Sorry I don't know what to do to help. Well, but sure the vet will know! Hugs!
from hip2bme :
Awww, I wanna be like you when I grow up! heehee You look good, are intelligent and have skills (even some are strange). You go, girl!
from apathyascend :
Hawt. Love the hair.
from emu-head :
Ooooh, I like inspiring people. Makes me feel powerful. If only I could inspire some people to give me money.
from hip2bme :
Thank you for the birthday wish, girl! And my wishes while I blew out the candle... make it more like 7 or 8! hahaha
from mechanistic :
I never respond to your notes enough...in fact, I don't think I have but I should. You're sweet. Thanks for the comments. They are a little uplifting hiccup during the day. :)
from hip2bme :
Love the description of my diary! lol Totally random cake comment. I want some, by the way! xox
from hip2bme :
Too many thing to even comment on. You were calm while a plane was falling (gosh, I hate to fly). I'm adding you! I'm also on medication for depression, panic attacks, and so on... and I'm soon becoming a psychologist. Ironic, huh? I love your random ramblings. Hugs!
from emu-head :
I just had to say, great random things about you list. You seem so damn interesting, probably more interesting than you realize. And I can definitely relate to a couple of the things that you wrote there.
from calmish :
If I had the money etc I would so come and live with you, and we could take over the world and make it better. yay. lots of luv, jo xx
from sweet-lilly :
After the initial confusion of that note, I understand. Hah! I don't know. Chris is telling me over and over again to text him nownowNOW. I'm scared though, boohoo!
from hip2bme :
I know, that's how children are. Most of times the intentions are of a prank or to know how much their parents love them and not to make them suffer. That's probably why you felt back and started crying when you heard your parents anguish. Well darling, I must go now. I have an exam at university in 40 minutes, so I'm on my way. Hugs, Anele
from hip2bme :
What an imaginative child you were... to stage running away at 6! Your poor parents must have suffered while you were growing up! hahaha Hugs, Anele
from sweet-lilly :
Thank you :)
from after- :
that was off the set ;)
from calmish :
It sucks that you're feeling sucky, I hope it passes soon. This is a bit random, but do you like Billy Connolly? When I feel like shit I watch one of his DVDs and it always cheers me up. Then again, you might not understand what the hell he's saying! And there's always writing stuff down, but I guess you've already done that. I cuddle my cats, maybe you could cuddle your cat if he/she's the cuddly sort? Well I'm rambling now so I'll shut up, but I do hope you feel better soon. Things always work out in the end, you just have to run with it. Lots of love, jo xx
from after- :
Too bad she doesn't write her own lyrics :( I cant wait to hear something that SHE thinks of :)
from girlof78 :
Just wanted to leave you a "bye" note, I'll be back the first week of June. Be safe and happy and keep journaling and I'll "see" you upon my return. ((HUGS)) Kat
from apathyascend :
Just saying what's up and the like. Hope you're not doing terribly poor.
from calmish :
I totally didn't think about that, that it could be the meds I'm on - thanx for telling me that! My tattoo is of an owl, but it's not corny or anything, its kool, I think. Do u have any tattoos? Take care + lots of love, Jo xx
from emu-head :
Intelligent? I don't know about that. :-P Anyways, thank you for the nice words. I'm truly flattered.
from graypaint :
That is because Television isn't a waste of time.
from calmish :
Yay you for being all drug-free! Your an inspiration, I hope one day I too can be off meds for good. I'm so glad your feeling more positive and I hope you manage to keep it going, I think you will. Good luck! lots of love - Jo xx
from girlof78 :
Love Linkin Park, They Are All Talent!!
from girlof78 :
Sweetie, you were there for me when I was feeling down, I am here for you as well. Sending you a great big ((HUG)) hope you can feel it! I'll be sending you positive vibes 8o) and even when we feel alone know that you'll always be surrounded by those you love and love you back.
from t85225 :
Hey flicka. What calmish said is so right. And ya know... while it's only often said via typing in these little white boxes, your friends here do care... and patiently wait when you don't feel like talking much. When you do decide to talk... we're always here :) No need to worry about us going away girl... friends don't leave.
from calmish :
I just read ur entry and i'm sorry ur feeling so depressed. I'm just as bad at keeping contact with people when i'm down but if your friends aren't willing to stick by you thru the worst times then they aren't very good friends. As long as you have 1 or 2 people you can trust thats more than enough, at least thats my opinion. I hope u feel better soon, take care, lots of luv, jo xx
from calmish :
it means bothered xx
from apathyascend :
Yeah, I mean I actually wrote that about someone else, though while doing so, I found many similarities. The person I wrote it about should be beaten in the face with a golf club. On the pleasant side of things, I purchased my own domain -- www.TheFacelessMachine.com -- Now to figure out what the content will be. ;]
from girlof78 :
Iím so glad you went to see a doctor, I hope you can put on some weight sweetie, I suspect youíre much taller then I am (5í4) and even for me your weight would be very low. Iím glad your out view on life is different then it was three years ago. Remember that there are many people here to lend a hand and support you during your road to a healthier you, I include myself in this bunch. 8o) I think life is more like perception, how you see it makes a difference. Iím still trying to workout my own life to fit this theory. 8o) Keep us posted.
from girlof78 :
That would be eerie if his name was John, Oh I LOVED the last episode of SATC!! I was so upset that Carrie was moving away and leaving all she knew, especially with that artist guy. But I LOVED how it all came together in the end. The ending always makes me cry, Especially when Charlotte and her hubby get their picture; just thinking about it gives me chills. Hehe I never got to see the show when it was on hbo, after the show was over I decided to give it a try and rent the entire seasons, it was so much fun. I hope to have a SATC night with my gals someday; where all we do is watch episodes of the show and relate them to our own person life or how we feel about the subject. 8op
from t85225 :
Ahhh.... no it isn't :)
from girlof78 :
8o( Sweetie are you feeling any better? You there are a few free clinics here and there you can go to, also you can go get a check up and pay the bill in installments. Be Safe and healthy. PS: What you said about "Nameless Boy" and Mr. Big made me laugh so much, I thought that very same thing a few days ago while watching the show!! Isn't that funny?!! Love ya.
from girlof78 :
Ooo where are you moving too? 8o) *Hope it's closer to me* 8op Don't you run off too far now, 8o)
from crazyblueyes :
aww where ya movin too?
from t85225 :
Hugs
from girlof78 :
Hope you feel better. 8o)
from calmish :
yes, 'daft' is indeed a great word. I'm also fond of 'faff', as in, "I better stop faffing around and get some work done". If I can't find the right word to describe something I'll quite often make up my own words, it's fun and it confuses people, which is even more fun. I hope you're feeling better soon, try to take care of yourself. luv jo xx
from bipolarchild :
sorry you are feeling so bad. My neck hurts like hell too. You know, my back and neck are the main places I store my stress. I wonder if that's your problem. Also I've learned with all my dealings with my son, and his problems, that sometimes, emotional problems manifest themselves physically...thus the tummy aches, the back, head and neck pain..etc. Hang in there.
from t85225 :
I can't offer the friendship (I'm too old and while I rock with Pat B... sexy little thingL, I don't know 1/2 the other artist you reference), I'm availabe as a stalker. Just think of the fun... you always have someone to hang with, you never have to eat out alone... and a step up from friends, it's always about you :p No? Well then, how aBout an occasional coffee?
from apathyascend :
Sure, you could certainly borrow the gun, right after I'm done using it. The 2nd to last post wasn't a song really, but as I read it back, I can see where you'd think it was. The 2 middle lines about the atom bomb, are in fact, lyrics to this Kill Hannah song I'm really feeling. I hear you about the friends thing, I have like none now. A nice tight-knit group of friends would be great, but I don't think I'm meant for such things. Then again, what most people are meant for, I am not.
from calmish :
spikes? not sure what u mean? thankfully my tongue has deflated now! hope ur fine. luv jo xx
from t85225 :
laughing? you better damn well be laughing :) write me... you know where.
from graypaint :
How art thou? It's been ages. Your'e probably well taken care of. Too bad I can't take care of you!
from apathyascend :
Yeah. It's complete horse shit. Too busy. Too busy doesn't exist. I'm sure of it. I just can't stand flakey people. Really annoys me.
from girlof78 :
Chika, you're rocking that haircut!! 8oD
from girlof78 :
Hi sweetie, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hoping it all is going well. You have done so many wonderful things for yourself, don't forget that. Your Rock! 8o) Kat
from after- :
Yeah Lil Kin is crazy, she thinks she's all hard core, but jail will set her striaght!
from after- :
i thought Pink did stupid girl?
from apathyascend :
I think maybe you meant Pink and not lil' Kim. Or maybe you mean something else. I don't know. I'm a jerkoff.
from after- :
Yeah, get back on track! I should follow my own advice!
from girlof78 :
LOL you're too funny!!!
from after- :
lol, that would be a poor naomi watts!
from sinovia :
Thanx for reading I'll post more soon
from djarumgurl :
what did you mean by your last note?
from calmish :
damn, my birthday's in may, oh well! probably won't be in the US any time soon unless someone dies and leaves me a vast fortune or I win the lottery, course I'd actually have to start playing it first! what about u, any plans to come to the uk? luv jo xx
from somstar :
Heh, it's funny you just added me, because I'm moving, probably today, I'll add you to my other diary :)
from calmish :
if only I could afford to escape to the US! I'd be there in a second! I always wanted a twin...lots of luv xx
from somstar :
i always benefitted from moving, new places, i grew fond of the idea...
from lifeasme66 :
You are sweet... what picture are you talking about exactly? =) **HUGS!!**
from girlof78 :
Hi Chika, no I didn't change the pw or id, still the same as before. I just tired it, it should work. I got a myspace page, do you have one? If so let's exchange id's yeah? You're going to San Diego?? Awesome, my family is over there, I get to go at the end of May. Anyway, have fun over there.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for all your messages... i've been so slow at responding/updating recently....
from apathyascend :
The poem I was referring to is in link form on my post. Just click where it says [ THIS POEM ] and you can read it--the 20k poetry winner's awful poem.
from calmish :
nurofen is a painkiller..x I have the P and P with Colin Firth, it's about 6 hours long and I love the music too. Mr Darcy looks so hot when he jumps in the pond and steps out dripping wet. hmm. have u started ur ballet classes yet? I'm terrified i'll make a fool of myself and i don't know what shoes to wear or anything. aahh! luv jo x
from scullerymaid :
I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but The Hunger Site is pretty interesting if you want to help feed hungry people. www.thehungersite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites
from calmish :
I'm with you! I wanna do something for the world too! xx
from apathyascend :
Thanks for the notes. I appreciate that someone in this world reads my journal and leaves feedback. I'd certainly love a peek into the freeflowing, uninhibited mental ghosts one has to deal with.
from calmish :
Is Art Awakenings like art therapy? thats cool. my art therapy doesn't feel so much like therapy as turning up to a place full of art materials every week, making something rubbish while someone sits and watches, then going home. anywayz...
from bipolarchild :
i love when you leave notes (at both places) The diamond, is a tension setting..so you can see on the side exactly how it sits in there. It's cool. Not as big as a lot of ladies I've seen, but it suites me PERFECT. I hope life is good for you. Hugs!
from graypaint :
you\\\\\
from crazyblueyes :
i need like a sponsor haha
from calmish :
yeah, you're probably right. If there is a god then she's done nothing for me, ever, bitch. empirical - thats a great word! Yay Fight Club...the first rule of fight club is-we do not talk about fight club...
from crazyblueyes :
haha you could help me pay off my debt so i can get a place to live lol
from calmish :
ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! I can't believe you chopped all that hair off! How did you do it? I wouldn't have the heart, I've spent the last 3 years growing my hair back after having it all chopped off in one of my 'manic' episodes. Apparently its a sign that something's the matter, are you ok? I hope you're ok. luv jo x
from vanoonoo :
hiya - clicked thru from a banner and thought I should say hias I have added you to my faves :)
from crazyblueyes :
what attorneys in pheonix?
from girlof78 :
I think it's a lovely idea to do something nice for someone tomorrow. I don't really have too much human interaction these days so it might be hard for me to come up with something. I will try however. 8o)
from apathyascend :
Hey, what's shakin? I was just saying hi because I haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you're managing to stay more sane than myself. At least you're somewhat positive--listing things on your latest entry. I can't even do something like that.
from girlof78 :
Nice goals/hopes sweetie, keep it up!
from t85225 :
hopeful list, #5 - just an observation... if someone gets hurt because you are cautious (or just slower) at making friends (as opposed to acqaintences) and they profess to being hurt because you don't accept them in THEIR timeframe... that's their issue, not yours. I understand the feeling bad about it, but it really is their issue, and not much you can do about it ... or should.
from t85225 :
$350 at Vickys??? ya tease :p
from alwaysmuted :
*hug* I admire the way you keep going.I have faith in who you are and who you are to become. Just wanted to send you a little love and to let you know I have locked up the diary. If you want a password,please email me at alwaysmutedATyahooDOTcom. OK? Adios...
from t85225 :
smiles @ flica... you do what you gotta do, we'll back ya 101% (but save the world? damn girl... pick something a bit easier!)
from crazyblueyes :
ahh good for you! when you get that coffee bar open, if you need someone to work i'll be there. i used to work in a coffee bar... and loved it. i am glad to see you feeling better
from t85225 :
Large dark roast please... got any pastries?
from alwaysmuted :
Sweetie,you know I would let you look into my life.I trust you and I know you have a good heart and would never judge or hurt me.Your kind words make me realize when I feel like nothing,I matter and am something,to someone out there.*hug*
from lifeasme66 :
Hi there, thanks for leaving the note! I'm blushing, hehe. **HUGS!!**
from calmish :
hey, I just stole someone's computer and read the notes you left me. i can't remember you so I've either got a really bad memory or you found my diary after my computer died. either way, thanks for your kindness, and I'll throw in a big YAY! for good measure! so hi and yay and hopefully I'll get a new computer soon and talk to you some more, you seem cool. bye for now...xx
from crazyblueyes :
aww flicka your a good friend :) i'd love to see your art. i hope you have an awesome day ... also thanks for letting my know about the button, i looked into it and got it fixed.
from girlof78 :
Just want to send you a big (((((HUG))))) 8o) Sleeping well seems to help me feel better as well. The days I don't sleep well I feel as though I'm falling apart.
from girlof78 :
Is there room in this hospital for me as well? 8o) I could sure use a cleansing, in particular of my soul. I'd love to see your finished paintings! I love paintings. I paint my own but I've never taken a class in my life, i hope someday I will. You might have a little trouble seeing it from where you stand, but from where I stand I can see how strong you truly are. You will be okay, trust that little voice within you. 8o)
from flicka :
That's a great thought. Thanks, I needed that.
from t85225 :
the crochet blanket metaphore... ya know, when someone is cold, they don't give a rat's ass about how the blanket looks, or how fine the stitches are... it keeps them warm. Someone is out there looking for a blanket to keep warm with...
from apathyascend :
So, why so down? Nothing's hopeless... well, some things are, but that's something completely different.
from fuck-- :
Good idea, but too much fucking work would be involved, so fuck that...
from crazyblueyes :
oh yeah a little cash makes everything better doesn't it? i wish i could send myself some cash *sigh*
from graypaint :
flicka --- where were you all day? I've been calling... Oh well, c'est la vie.
from girlof78 :
I know you've done this already but I'm running out of people so sorry hon; You've been tagged! 8op
from girlof78 :
Is this about the movie 'Memoirs of a Geisha'? Do tell what's going on??
from alwaysmuted :
Don't cross your toes too hard.You'll get a cramp and then possibly fall down when trying to walk.:)Thank you for sweetness and kindess though.*hug*
from t85225 :
Nice job redecorating!
from curejeff :
hey there, well i think that my diary will remain on-hold and locked for awhile. i certainly don't mean to be abandoning any of my good on-line friends, and will try me best to stay in touch. i may well start up a new one and will let you know about that.
from crazyblueyes :
ahh the art of drinking and sleeping to forget. i think we are all guilty of this at least a few times. i want to ask how you are and how i can help you feel better... how i can be a friend. you're not alone <3
from graypaint :
let's go to the museum huh. (on Thursday) I know I'm not Teacher's Pet.
from curejeff :
Thanks so much. I've locked it for right now b/c G doesn't like me writing personal stuff about us even if it's 99.9% impossible for someone to find out who I actually am. I'm going to decide what to do and will definitely let you know! Soon.
from t85225 :
Call me a masochist, but I liked the marathon entry better than the summary.
from crazyblueyes :
i know EXACTLY what your talking about "how do you apologize for being retarded" i just recently had to do the same thing... being depressed is something i can identify with as well. for now we just have to stick together huh?
from graypaint :
you are lucky because all that matters in a pill is the color and the shape --- both fit fine
from girlof78 :
Oh and I almost forgot: (((((((HUGS))))))) for you. (=^_^=)
from girlof78 :
I didn't know about Iams and the change in ownership/testings they're doing. I'm not happy!! I thought I noticed my cats food not having the same 'healthy' effect and less stinky poo on my cats, but I didn't know the reason. Innova huh? Hmmm, I'll look into it. thanks hon!
from graypaint :
confusion is my middle name ask me again I'll tell you the same
from crazyblueyes :
Thanks you know i don't understand the reason behind it, i guess i am just missing something. i feel like i must have a retarded relationship gene(sp?) lol. but thank you for your comment. yesterday life was shitty, the day before that was shitty. but today i am making it amazing.
from alwaysmuted :
Thank you for the sweet notes. I am sorry I don't respond back as quickly. It's hard to deserve love when it feels as if someone isn't willing to give it to you.Things are better now,but I need to communicate with him better.Anyway..happy new year,mi amiga!
from girlof78 :
Harding and I would have gotten along 8o) Questioning is eternal, I donít think we ever find answers to some of our deepest sought out questions. People like you and me are questioners, everything we use our senses (all of them) on we question. Donít be too hard on yourself; there are days like this and better ones too. Maybe one day you and I can philosophy under a shading tree. 8oD
from girlof78 :
About this "Phoenix area that would love a kind-hearted, bird-rescuer-type man" I have a single cousin that has been searching for a nice guy for a long time. Maybe we could play match-makers? j/k *hehe* I like your ending statement "I hope to push past my fears and do some good for myself, my family, my friends, and for others who I have the ability to reach". Cheers to that and I hope that for myself too! PS: I'm no longer on Friendster, too much junk mail, but I'm on Yahoo, you know where to reach me! HUGS Kat
from girlof78 :
Happy Winter Season My Friend, hopeing for nothing but the best for you! Kat 8o)
from flicka :
Tell me about it. I've been mindfucked all day. Also, see my venting after I watched the film "Jarhead." Parasites is the word you used in my notes I think.....you got it right. Just venting here. It's been 4 days without sleep, and my mood is quite poor right now. I supposed I should throw down some lithium and smile.
from apathyascend :
I hate mind games. It drains the trust right out of you, like a wounded animal draining blood. The first thing I involuntarily think when I walk into my job is how human beings are nothing more than complex parasites. Humans are parasites of a disgusting nature. It's sickening, really. Just venting.
from apathyascend :
Thank you for bothering to read my journal and for your comments. I appreciate them. It's good to know someone is reading. ^_^
from mechanistic :
Aaaw thanks for the nice lil' note. It made me smile ^.~
from flicka :
so sorry about that! I told you that I was not good with computers :)
from girlof78 :
Hey Flicka hon, you left me a note in my journal update section, please don't do that because it emails other people what you wrote. The board is simply to update my subscribers when I post an entry to one of my many journals. 8op Thanks hon. Kat
from dandlioneyes :
just clicked your banner today, tell me -- does it ever end, the PHD angst and misery?! http://costofwar.com/embedinstr.html for how to put up the ticker! take care, happy weekend!
from curejeff :
fascinating, but very creepy!! i can't stand it when human remains are treated disrespectfully. for instance, i find that display of flayed chinese people that is making its way around american museums, to be utterly appalling and sick. i believe strongly in respecting the dignity of human existence.
from alwaysmuted :
You are so sweet to leave such a message.*hug*
from crazyblueyes :
thats the best and only way to do it take a hot bath with some hot coffee or tea... thats my strategy
from djarumgurl :
Okay. the pass word for bipolarchild is bipolar hotel. Djarumgurl is my personal diary. They are sometimes the exact same content, sometimes not. I try to save the Gavin stuff for Bipolarchild.
from djarumgurl :
bipolar hotel
from bipolarchild :
nah, I didn't mean to be dramatic. Stalked is sort of exaggerating. I guess I mean, when I go to my sitemeter, I can see that someone from the Utah Educational Network looked at my site 4 times in a day, and once looked at nearly every entry...it's weird, and I fear my info about my son will scare people and they will use it against me.
from fuck-- :
fuck them too.
from bipolarchild :
love the new layout. I'm locking up bipolarchild for a minute (I think I have a stalker - there). Email me or go to djarumgurl to get the password
from curejeff :
oh no, haven't proposed yet. it's certainly something i'd write about. i'm thinking of proposing in the spring, around the one year anniversary of our first kiss or something (may 8). i really don't want us to marry before we're done with law school, and that's two more years, but i don't know if her patience will last that long!
from girlof78 :
Okay girl, it's 11/16 early in the morning and guess what? I sent you an email. Hope to hear from you, have a nice day. Kat Ciao Chika 8o)
from girlof78 :
Hi Flicka, looking forward to your email so we can get your layout going. If you are having trouble with a theme or picture, you can always go with a fav star. Or tell me a little about yourself, so that i can find something that fits you. 8o) Take care and I think your words are poetic, that's beautiful. Kat
from alwaysmuted :
Hi sweets.I girlof78 is my friend as has asked me to contact you because we both want to help to make your diary *shine* since we both think you are a sweetie. Could you e-mail at alwaysmuted@yahoo.com ? Please???:)
from girlof78 :
hey there, I'm a friend of alwaysmuted. Seems to me you could use a layout? Got anything in mind? I'm in the middle of a few things, but I'll make you one if you like. 8o) Just get a place that will host the images and we'll be set if you'd like. Let me know if you're interested. Why do I want to do this? Just because I like creating. 8op Ciao, Kat
from alwaysmuted :
She hates Mexicans,eh? Pinche stupida mamona..LOL I admire your spirit.Stupid people like her should not say anything against those who are truly gifted and have a loving soul and heart..like you.*HUG* Cuidate..
from curejeff :
hey, thanks for the note. everything's working itself out, as usual. we were both merely over-sensitive is all..
from bipolarchild :
sorry you feel alone.
from curejeff :
glad things have turned around for you!! live life, love and be happy!
from curejeff :
things will work out for you in the way and at the time they are meant to. i'm 33 and have found what i believe to be the one, but even this is a hard struggle at times (as you know)... believe that everything will work out as it's meant to, and that's what will happen. i've suffered thru years of the depths of deep depression also, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, i promise, (and it's not a train coming toward you!).
from bipolarchild :
you always leave the best notes for me. Thanks. I'm sorry you are struggling so much right now. I have been there...it sucks. Hang in there...
from xnavygrrl :
Geodon is a new medication for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
from xnavygrrl :
I know people say it's "normal" to be on a cocktail of pills but I can't help but think that there are present side effects and effects down the road that we can't see. If I was on the medication you're on it would kill me! I have enough trouble with the Geodon. That crap gives the worst insomnia!!!!
from xnavygrrl :
I'm on Geodon and Klonopin. But the stupid Geodon gives me a bit of insomnia, so I'm up to .75 of the Klonopin. I may have to take it higher, because it still takes me 30 minutes or more to fall asleep at night. :(
from flicka :
lithium neurontin trazadone remron wellbutrin Klonopin
from xnavygrrl :
what medications are you on??
from alwaysmuted :
Hiya. It will be a full house in a couple of days because my brothers and mom have decided to move down here. My mom is going to live with my husband and I,and my brothers will venture out on their own.Full house because my husband and I are staying with my MIL,SIL,SIL's boyfriend and her two kids. This will only be for,the minimum,2 weeks since we have an apartment but it is not available until the 14th of October.May God have mercy on us all. Last time any member of my family stayed over,a huge fight ensued,and someone discovered they were pregnant.Ominous? LOL I hope you are doing ok,sweetie.*hug*
from alwaysmuted :
I wish I could get rid of her that easily,but right now,because my husband was out of work for over 4 months and I am at school full time,we are staying with his mom,and the SIL,her two kids and the SIL's boyfriend.They only saving grace is that we have our own room.SIL can afford to buy her own house but is afraid to cut the umbilical cord.I am purging her in other ways,like deleting her from favorites,my space and everything else.Believe me to her little friends whose opinion matters more than life itself,being ignored in person and online hurts her and makes her look bad.She wouldn't be any kind of narcissist if it didn't.LOL We are planning to move out,but when we feel like it.I ain't letting that cow run me off.LOL Adios and take care.
from curejeff :
thanks for your note and your concern. i did address my misgivings w/ ga, and she totally understood. thing is, adults should generally be able to stay in touch w/ ex's. but she understood my concern completely, and will not be talking to him often, if ever. i have no reason to not trust her on this. she understands that an ongoing friendship is simply not possible--that while other ppl might be cool with it, i'm simply not, and that's okay with her. so keep rooting for us, we're doing well!
from flicka :
felifoo75@yahoo.com I don't get why my diaryland email is no longer functional. It was at some time???? Some of the other functions I've not used because I'm not saavy with technology.....I'm sure there are 5-year-olds that do everything on this site.....I need their assistance!
from xnavygrrl :
I need your email addy. I tried to email you from your diary and nothing showed up. :)
from apathyascend :
Hey, hope everything is going better for you. I've been working long, strenuous hours as of late, and have had little time to update. Thanks for still reading me, though. I appreciate it. I've been reading yours as well. ^_^
from curejeff :
i like your poem a few entries back. how's the teaching going?
from bipolarchild :
thanks for all your kind words
from curejeff :
i hope that you start to feel better soon, but i can completely empathize with you at this moment, so you're not alone...
from flicka :
I feel so betrayed. Simon read my online journal. I don't know what to do.
from curejeff :
thanks for the sweet note. sounds like you had a cool trip this summer. i see REM in Atlanta almost every fall. It's weird.
from bipolarchild :
thanks for your notes. I read you...so keep writing...I find your diary interesting too.
from curejeff :
Hey there Flicka! Oh,your time will come.. It's taken me 32 years, plus all relationships are strictly bliss in their early stages... by the way just for the sake of clarity, it's Georgia a/k/a ga that i got together with this weeked. she's fabulous, fabulous..
from curejeff :
Hi! I hope your dad's health gets better. Remember though that everything here will come to an end, and we are all likely to lose our parents in our lifetime. Acceptance of the reality of the transient nature of all things is a big step toward peace, contentment. Good luck with your relationship, too. Don't settle for anyone who takes the happy out of you!
from curejeff :
You are too sweet! Thank you for reading, and being interested, as I write the same things over and over. Only the girls change. :-)
from flicka :
Now, as I am new to this, do I reply to the message on my board, or to the message on your board? I missed out being a generation y techno-savvy person. Oh, I'm working on my master's degree, and I'll graduate in May (read my diary from 2000 on, and you'll see that I've been working on it for 6 years). My bachelor's degree is from Purdue. I'm an astounding 29-year-old woman (I celebrate the 3 year anniversary of my 27th birthday in JUly). No, 30 will be great. Cheers :)
from curejeff :
thanks for the excellent compliment. you're too nice. what is your thesis on? grad, or undergrad?
from flicka :
Thanks for joining--the third one is the charm... I sent you a message on your guestbook. (Now you have one)
from bipolarchild :
hey. I'm going to be reading you soon. I looked at a few of your entries...I'm in the ring with you (all 3 of us) haaaaaaa..
from flicka :
You must watch Millions. It made me feel.
from flicka :
I am already quite mad, as you can read for yourself.
from curejeff :
thank you for your note. i'm afraid, however, my diary will either drive you mad, or insane with boredom, or, unfortunately yet quite possibly, both.

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