messages to geekgurrll:
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from sidewaysrain :
oh my LORD that all sounds perfect! I would love to see pictures once it's all settled :)
from sidewaysrain :
big huge hugs, you sound mega stressed! I would take you for a glass of wine if I could!
from clarity25 :
I think once you meet this woman, you will feel much better and more comfortable with the situation. I understand the way you're feeling because I would be feeling the EXACT same way. I get very insecure and there's nothing worse then knowing that you're significant other is hanging out with another woman. Especially when situations like you described arise. It all boils down to trust. I know I would get paranoid though, and everytime he even mentioned her name I would be studying his face intensely for clues to his deeper feelings. It would drive me crazy. Good luck, I have a feeling it will all work out in the end and when you meet her you'll probably end up being friends:)
from clarity25 :
Your password isn't working..and I was using the new one. (God, I'm annoying. I'm sorry...lol. I'm always whining about not being able to get inside.) I hope you're doing well. I'll try from a different computer perhaps it's a firewall issue. I just wanted to say "hi" and thank you for the link to your pictures of Venice! They were so beautiful!! Have a great week!
from clarity25 :
Venice sounds like a dream! I've always wanted to go! My mother is traveling there next week and I'm so jealous. I'm glad you had a beautiful time. Sorry to hear about the dress code at Harry's bar though and I agree that 100 Euros for 45 minutes on a Gondola IS outrageous. It was a smart decision not to get ripped off. I wish you had some pictures to share, I'm in love with the canals and architecture of Venice. It's just enchanting and looks like it can't actually be REAL. Thanks for your advice on the Texas situation. I hope you're having a good day.
from clarity25 :
"...I hate when we tiptoe towards a territory that hints that things are not 100% sure between us. That type of conversation that makes your face hot because you know it could go horribly wrong in an instant... " I know what you mean, I've had that feeling and it's awful. Sometimes it gets you closer, but sometimes it makes you feel worse. But in reality, there is NO relationship that is 100% sure. You just kind of have faith and go with the flow. You believe in it. Sometimes it's scary when you fully realize that anything can happen...
from clarity25 :
It's natural to have those kind of fears regarding the changes that will occur when you live together. There will be a lot but as long as you are able to embrace compromise and have open communication, it will be beautiful. It takes some time to get adjusted to the new routine but it can be so rewarding. Just think, you wake up every morning in the arms of the man you love:). I hope you have a good week
from sidewaysrain :
oh no! you know what works to shorten a cold is zinc... do you have cold-eeze or zicam over there? zicam is THE BEST.
from clarity25 :
I completely understand your frustrations with this new girl. I don't think you're being unfair. It's important to set your boundaries and not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. You brought up some good points and you're giving her enough time to find a place. I could relate to the feelings you expressed with this, and your desire to avoid getting pulled into her drama. It's good that you put your foot down. I probably would not have been able to do that and she would be living with me for months on end while I felt pushed in a corner and resentful of being used. So good for you. Also, I'm glad you had a fantastic week with David.:)
from clarity25 :
I hope you feel better soon, I've been under the weather too. A lot of the things I've been eating have been making me feel uneasy in my stomach and not sitting well. I can relate to the feeling you described. Good luck with the girl moving in tomorrow and I hope the stresses you're feeling subside.
from clarity25 :
I know what you mean about love. It's like that. You think, I can't love him more than I do at THIS MOMENT and it just overwhelms you. But the next day it feels more intense, and you think that you couldn't have loved him more than THAT moment. It just keeps building as time passes. It alters and changes, but it grows stronger. Anyhow, I'm rambling. Thanks for your notes lately and your encouraging words. I hope you're having a good day:). It's nice being able to read your journal again!
from clarity25 :
I just wanted to thank you sincerely for your advice regarding the whole job situation, your caring comments and your friendship. I haven't been able to read your journal lately because I had the password saved on my laptop and I no longer have internet access on it. (I know, you're thinking...don't tell me you lost it AGAIN. Why don't you ever try to REMEMBER the two words instead of just automatically typing it in and saving it on your system. JUST ONCE. It's not that hard) Yes, I'm a moron. But before I bug you about sending it to me again, I'm going to check my old E-mail address archive...I'm sure I'll find it. I look forward to catching up this weekend over a cup of coffee. (Only time I can use the internet for more than 10 minute blips at work before quickly hiding the window from my boss) But I just wanted to say "hi!" and let you know that I hope you're having a great week.
from stumbletrout :
ps, im not quite sure how this thing works but i'd love to read your diary. how do i do that?
from stumbletrout :
Well i don't want to leave your name but i do want to know if its you... this may be your cousin (if its the right you), writing from leeds. let's see. is your little biscuit called pimp? Jess
from clarity25 :
I know what you mean about the hassle of returning money, they can't understand why you would do that and then they feel as though you're accusing them of being inept. Meanwhile, you're just trying to do the right thing. Oh and something you had mentioned in your previous entry I could really relate to. I know what you mean about being self-conscious. When Eric rubs my tummy, I feel and say the same thing.
from beckers-j :
Hey, thanks for adding me! I'll come back to check your diary out soon. ;)
from clarity25 :
Sorry to hear that you've been having Bad days with work. Also, you should have seen my personality profile. Not so good at all. Rash, indecisive, insecure, needing to fit in..etc. I was like "man, I'm a mess". Eric's on the other hand came out with glowing results and he basked in it. :) I hope your week begins to improve. Take care!
from clarity25 :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Have a wonderful night and a great day tomorrow!:)
from clarity25 :
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas vacation. By the time you read this note in Jan., My diary will be locked. Just drop me a line at [email protected], and I'll give you the new password. Seasons greeting and best wishes.
from clarity25 :
That's great that you'll be visiting your Mom in April and will be able to show David more of your past. I hope you have a great time on Christmas and enjoy this holiday season. Also I wanted to thank you so much for your last note. It's good to know I'm not alone with the fear I'm feeling concerning this move. Thanks for sharing some of your own experiences, I truly appreciated that!
from clarity25 :
Hey, I hope you had a great weekend. I just wanted to thank you for the password, I caught up with all the entries I missed. Yay! :)
from heelandlass :
Thanks for adding me! Are you dishing out your pass word so I can check you out? xxx
from sidewaysrain :
hi, i love how you and i are EXACTLY alike in that we complain about how fat we've gotten and then go on to talk about the awesome meal we just ate. it's good to love food!
from singlegirl :
Thank you.
from sidewaysrain :
hi loveybean, it DOES get better, but it takes A REALLY LONG EFFING TIME. I hate Father's Day with a passion. Also, I think my last Father's Day gift was $20. My dad said, "Whatever you're going to spend, just give me the cash, even if it's $5." Tender moment, huh? blaaaar!
from clarity25 :
Hi, Did you leave me an E-mail asking for my password? I just need to doublecheck that it was you because you didn't mention your username. Thanks:)
from singlegirl :
May I please have your username and password? [email protected]
from sidewaysrain :
hey - I'm starting to get worried about you. don't make me come over there! seriously, you have a right to demand to be treated with respect. Anyone who doesn't comply should be punched in the kidneys, and have a shapely back turned on them, toot sweet.
from clarity25 :
You wouldn't possibly share your password with me? My E-mail is [email protected]. If not, that's okay too:). Hope all is well.
from stillsingle :
Can you send me yours?
from stillsingle :
Thanks for reading! My username is stillsingle; password is sunshine!
from clarity25 :
God, I hate spiders. *shivers* (nice new template btw)
from clarity25 :
MY FIRST COMMENT EVER!! (running over and hugging you) thank you! Haha..I bet you didn't expect that dramatic of a response! I just can't believe I got it to work! woohoo!. ..it WAS you that left that comment right? If it wasn't just ignore the first part of this note. I'm sorry to hear you set your hair on fire. Is it terrible to confess that I had to giggle? I guess, because I related. I once set my entire shirt up in flames (When the match I was using to light my cigarette slipped out of my hand and onto my sweater) , and I had to stop, drop, and roll..While screaming! I smelled like burnt chicken afterwards..ah, memories. Hope you have a good weekend too!
from cruel-irony :
Oh, ouch. Breaking up is never easy. Nor is it fun. Best wishes.
from clarity25 :
I'm sorry to hear about the break up with David, It's a hard thing to go through..moving on and yet the desire to cling to how things were, not knowing how you're feeling, where you stand and the stages inbetween. I just hope whatever happens, things are okay:). You're in my thoughts.
from cruel-irony :
Yes, you do leave parts of yourself with people as you go through life. You also receive parts of other people along the way. That's not a bad thing though. (Nor is it dirty although it sounds like it.) It's just part of the process. Eventually, you learn to value and respect what it brings you.
from cruel-irony :
I hope you're feeling better. And hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
from clarity25 :
I know what you mean, I have nothing to complain about when it comes to Eric right now. So when all my friends are bitching about their significant others, or upset about something. I feel guilty, because I'm so happy. I feel like I need to come up with SOMETHING to contribute to the bitch session. Because my friends are sick of hearing how blissful I am or how good things are. I don't want to sound smug, So I'll say.. "well, Eric doesn't put the toilet seat down, I guess.." (shrug) lol.
from clarity25 :
Happy Birthday!! I hope your day improved, I feel for you. Overnight flights are hard, and a demanding boss doesn't help. Best Birthday wishes for tomorrow though after a good nights sleep. :)
from clarity25 :
Good luck with the self-tanner! lol. I'm glad you had a good trip to boston, also I know what you mean about covering your Mom's eyes to Diaryland. I feel the same, but I'm pretty sure my Mother has already found my diary. god knows who else is reading it..oh boy. Anyhow, I hope you have a great christmas, best wishes! -Clarity
from leah7 :
I've been reading your diary religiously for the past two weeks. I came upon it purely by accident and was shocked to find you going through almost exactly the same issues I had been going through with an annoying ex who couldn't see us as anything more than "best friends who have sex." Ugh. Now I'm confused, though. Why are you so paranoid about David cheating when GBM was always honest about not wanting a monogamous relationship?
from cruel-irony :
I miss my dad too. It's weird how it hits you when you least expect it. Take care.
from dont-stop :
First of all, congratulations on a nice evening out. But I have to ask...Face Masks?
from dont-stop :
I nodded my head several times as I read your last entry. I was trapped in a "little or no sex" situation at a vulnerable and self conscious time in my life and it was incredibly frustrating. It was the same old excuses: "I'm tired" or I'm too busy" or "I'm really sore from working out" It drove me nuts. I finally left him.
from clarity25 :
Thank you for your encouragment during my pregnancy scare. Good luck with moving in with your boyfriend. I remember the first time I moved in with Eric, I didn't know how to even define our relationship but it proved to be a great..and long-lived adventure. You never know:)
from dont-stop :
It's not foolish. You're brain is right!
from dont-stop :
The weekend was okay, except for this morning with Susan, but we'll get that all settled. Thank you for those words of wisdom.
from clarity25 :
Thanks so much for the compliment! reading your last entry brought back alot of memories for me, I was in a relationship so similiar to what you describe with David. I also relate with you when you said that you act all light and calm, casual..but inside you're wondering "Where is this going?! Am I just going to get hurt?". I'm the same way, On the outside I'm indifferent..inside I'm churning with anxiety. The best advice I can give you..(if you want any..if not, just ignore this) is just to be in the moment, and take it day by day just enjoying the time together. If it works out..great, if not you move on. You learn something from every relationship and experience. Take it all as it comes. (easier said than done..I know:)
from clarity25 :
Thank you for adding me to your fav. List. I started reading your diary,and I really liked it. I'll be back to read some more entries tomorrow, from what I've read..I take it you live in England? I've always wanted to live there..I like you're writing style and I just thought I would say "hi"
from raven9 :
Hello, I am a geek/freak that is why I am writing this note to you. I am just picking random ppl. Yes I am strange and not a stalker. byes
from dont-stop :
Thailand! Sheesh!
from dont-stop :
Oh sweetie, that must be maddening, not knowing what you said to him. I feel for you.
from dont-stop :
I know what you mean. I haven't had the real "it" in such a long time. It's depressing.
from dont-stop :
Wow, you sound like an incredibly strong and sweet person with a lot of common sense.
from vivakate :
many happy returns darling! i was so sorry not to get to meet you over xmas - i had that flu that was a killer (not literally in my case) and was down for the count thru til xmas. then i was down the cape. have many many drinks tonight and celebrate you as every girl should!xoxo
from cruel-irony :
I've also found that I'm much kinder in my sentiments, and more curious about the man, since my father died. I think about him a lot more too. I wonder why I didn't ask him about so many things when he was alive.
from felicityp :
I am so there with you. I'm thinking about you and hoping we'll both get through these times okay. It's so strange yet comforting to have a lot of the same things going on as other people. I don't want to give up on my boy, just as it seems you don't want to on yours, but sometimes we have no choice. It's just ridiculously difficult, isn't it? Thanks for your kind words, and know that someone else is there with you and thinking of you. E-mail me if you ever need to talk.
from dont-stop :
Yeah, I have several of those boxes, too. Special memories locked away. Never to be opened again.
from geeky-punk2 :
Hey I'm sorry about your dad. I hope everything will be all right. I just came across your name and I was like cool she has kind of the same name as me which is totally awesome. So I just wanted to let you know that you're in my heart and that I'll be thinking about you. luv ya.
from b-r-a-n-d-i :
I just accidentally ran across your entry and I see your dad died 6 months ago..sorry to hear that..my dad died 4 months ago from a terminal illness too..just thought I'd tell you that I know how you feel and you're not alone
from vivakate :
I don't know if you'll read this, but I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. I hope you are ok.

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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