messages to heartracer:
(click here to add new message):

from girl101 :
it's been so many moons, wonder if you will see this. last updated: 2008-09-03 21:01:06 - toooo long & dying to trade stories with you! it's my very best guess you are making magic wherever you are - we change but that kind of spirit is something that always remains. big xoxo
from catsoul :
hi there...thanks for reading what I write. How about your password. Thanks! =^..^=
from sephiragrace :
are you still floating around in diaryland? <3
from red-wine :
Oh my god I am so sorry! I don't even know what to say except I'll be thinking of you and hoping you can heal soon.
from red-wine :
Sweet, you simply must give me your passwords! Unless you're completely 101% on the DL of course, which I will (begrudgingly) respect.
from girl101 :
it's a year or something later, a trip, a book, a lovesong or two. things are different, so different, or maybe we are. what continent are you on? i am listening to this great song and thinking about your memories since i'm here writing in this little box; your adorable kitties and the countdown to a plane in the sky and south africa and kentucky and a million other little turns of phrase. but i don't know if that is old news; i want to hear your new memories! you have something with words, this you know. hope you are well darling c. xoxo,k.
from raw-hate :
I just found a note i had written about you, long ago. I hope you are well.
from jozkajozka :
I've moved on from D-land. www.gaiusprepcook.blogspot.com is my new blog, though its in the process of being revamped. Thank you for the note. Makes me feel good that people miss the mundane details of my life. hope you are well and fantastic.
from red-wine :
Oh honeygirl, that is so beyond kind of you. Now that I've had some time to stew on it, I've decided we'll be okay. Credit card debt isn't the end of the world (I know from experience) and ... well, somehow we'll make do. But your generosity is staggering, as always. I don't save passwords - what's your entry code, where can I find you, how are you doing?!?
from xo-liesl :
I totally didn't notice that I had already left that for you lower down. How funny that I totally did the same "encrypting" of my email address... at least I'm consistent. xo
from xo-liesl :
Hi dude, thanks for the note. I've been wondering. Please let me know if you start something someplace else... xo (dot) liesl (at_ gmail (dot) com. LOVE!
from unicorn666 :
please come back!
from raven72d :
Someone from long, long ago does miss you.
from girl101 :
miss you silly. i'm in nyc right now! and it's snowing and hailing and raining ridiculously! and i pretty much love every minute. when i stop being lazy (never?) i will email you, and you will reply, and everything will be magic forever and ever amen. or, the other way around, except i don't think you're lazy, just busy. me too me too. anwayssssss ♥
from xo-liesl :
Psst. I dunno if your codes have changed because you're doing it all private-styles now, or if I've just forgteen them, but secret passwords would be nice to have again if being given....Hope you're well... ex oh dot liesl aht gee-male dought calm.
from raven72d :
Cherie-- we used to exchange notes long ago, when you were (still?) in South Africa... Whatever has happened with you?
from patw-21 :
:)
from euphorically :
I really hope you will email me your details. [email protected]
from bathtubmary :
happy birthday, lovely kitty mommy. xxoxo, d
from red-wine :
Did you change your words again? Please advise.
from girl101 :
& [email protected] xoxo
from girl101 :
happy new year lovely <3
from euphorically :
my email is [email protected] . I can't wait to read you and I hope you are well.
from mittensgirl :
jodie dot martin AT comcast dot net
from dipso :
i cant see your update. am i allowed?
from whitepills :
I can't see your update. Am I allowed?
from euphorically :
an update! wow, i often wonder how you are! can you email me the password at [email protected] . i so hope you are well.
from bathtubmary :
hello lovely - if you could send your password to bathtubmarygirl at gmail dot com i'd be most appreciative. hope you're well - i've missed you! xoxo, d
from dipso :
password please
from girl101 :
last updated: 2005-07-18 20:26:23 too long, miss youuuuu.
from snotgirl :
xo
from whitepills :
I thought about you a bunch the other day. I read the note you stuffed into my bookbag. I wondered how you and Mike were doing and whether you got your Jade and Jet over here. We should absolutely talk soon. A lot has gone on in the last year and a half. I can only imagine how things have changed for you.
from girl101 :
this is how a heart breaksssss. hi dear. how is life these days! write me when you can, i want to hear what you're up to. life has been so, so good lately. i love home and miami in the summer and working at a job i love and now my friends are coming home and today was just a really good day. la la, lalalala, trying to be a good girl, give 'em what they want, but majory's dreaming of horses.. hope summertime is wonnnnnnderful, and that m & the cats are not passing out in the sweet summertime heat. ps, how is ky?
from euphorically :
are you still there? i miss reading your entries. i am at http://www.euphorically.blogspot.com/ . i hope you are well, my dear.
from polihero :
do you know mike gillooly? if so tell him to email [email protected]
from where-ocar :
is it the jdm1127 email address? you can also send one to username(where-ocar)@diaryland.com.
from girl101 :
you have it just right.. we live and love all the magic and music and moments and the spinning of past present and future, all these seasons, all this time. i was reading over some of my past entries today and thinking of the times we talked about all the love and boys and craziness.. time time time just keeps on flying, doesnt it/. sometimes it surprises me. how much relationships can change. time and distance. oh. do you have aim anymore deargirl? i miss talking to you! :) also, i quoted you the other day in an away message (haha), "i'll never stop wishing i had a recorder plugged into my brain because there's far too much beauty for my little fingers to record this way." lovely cheree darling, i am so glad you are updating tons, i come here & read in batches. tonight tonight. ah. sometimes listening to old songs & reading about the past & staying up late puts me in this strange loving/missing mood. and being happy for absolutely everything that has happened. ahh. its the way. summer isnt just a season <33333 and one of these days ill be telling you about a new summer. i hope the kittens &mike & the songs & everything continues in wonderfulness ♥
from girl101 :
"sleeps until bob dylan and willie nelson" !!!! you count time in sleeps too! i swear you must have picked it up from me. haha it would always be '5 sleeps til the love comes home' &etcetc. and BOB DYLAN. ohsweetlife. i did a photo project on him this semester, black & white photos and then his lyrics. one more cup of coffee before i go.. to the valley below :)
from uridium15 :
THE MOUSE OWNS MY SOUL
from girl101 :
hooray! i am so glad your family is coming for christmas ♥! what a fun surprise. i'll be down in panama this christmas with my family too, i'm excited. i'm leaving tomorrow to be there all summer! glad to hear things are good in your part of town :) did i ever send your the new password? can't remember. summer lovvvvvvve!
from pageme :
Locked Mz Cheree?! I think you know what I'm here to ask for. ;) xxx
from girl101 :
haha looking on here i definitely don't remember leaving the last note, oh crazy life. but what i came to say is that your photo of you &your darling kitten seems so far away from here, your life seems very far away. but the feeling, how you write about ouma and reading that email, i get that, i feel that, and the precision of your prose has me nodding my head at the exactness. right now i am in a study room in my dorm, with striped couches, an open window blowing in cold air even though it's april, and the donnie darko song that was his & mine is playing from someone else's computer. under the milky way tonight. and it's something quite peculiar... ♥. this song is shivers and driving in the dark in the passenger seat of his car. watching the movie from his bed. hmmm. i'm smiling now thinking of all that love and those nicegoodcrazy feelings. lovelovelove til the sunrise darling.
from whitepills :
"So's your face." "That doesn't even make sense." Have you seen "Garden State" yet? It's phenomenal. Zach Braff is very talented. I admire him greatly. I too thought the picture of your papa looked very much like you. I found it humorous that you said Andy said that. I told Mike the ticket is on your new fridge and he smiled.
from girl101 :
it's like i think i'm sick of cocaine, but i've gotta feel like it's running in my veins.... listening to it and reading you as always, and i hope everything works out, all these seasons, all this time. i want to hear your stories, real ones, you know what i mean? the heart of the matter, i love that when i say it's the heart that matters most you know exactly, exactly what i mean. remember africa and waiting for airplanes and dancing and alcohol and everything. remember florida and palm trees and swimming and kisses and so many latenights and words said and unsaid and allovereverywhere. growing up. everything's so different these days, these days. all these seasons, all this time spinning past. yeahyeah :) ridiculouslove, it's the best ♥. always xo.
from aquietboy :
i haven't heard from you in ages. and it warms my heart right up on a cold ontario night.
from euphorically :
thank you so much for your birthday wishes, and happy birthday to you, miss week-younger. life will soon seem easier because you will be more equipt to deal with bad stuff. at least its supposed to work that. anyway, happy birthday and remember your strength.
from whitepills :
You have the greatest way of making your awkward proposal to listen sound incredibly sweet and silly. I appreciate the open ear. I'd love to give you some of the details soon. It's just a long story and to write it all out will take some time. I can't wait for you to see some of this stuff. It's ridiculous. I wish I could write it all out, but too many people who are involved read it. It's frustrating that my diary has to be edited for content. Grrrr. Look to hear from me soon. ::hug::
from girl101 :
lovelovelovelove seeping from every word. i feel like you do;; on remembering, for right now anyways. i don't feel like going into every retrospect, cheers to today. what a year what a year what a year it's been. my favorite so far. ♥
from whitepills :
Welcome to the beauty of winter. I woke up to 20 inches yesterday morning and thought of you and your new experiences to come. Merry Christmas to you and Mike!
from whitepills :
The funny thing is, in this digital world, it doesn't seem at all odd to feel close to those people I've never met. To know that other's thoughts are with you is a very reassuring thing. I'll see you in less than 20 hours! You should see my grin. How often do people write grinning so cheesy like?
from raven72d :
I have missed you... Missed reading you, missed hearing from you.
from tithonus :
It's a long time since I told you how much I love your writing. It seemed to be time again. ;)
from girl101 :
"and i owe my life to the people that i love" your current entry makes me think of this; and that i saw her sing that song live tonight (oh ani difranco. its the way counting crows is for both of us. and now it's a long december. oh oh oh. to my kentucky queen. i like the metaphor of swimming and sharks, also so very ani difranco "and i hope i never see the ocean again, pushing and pulling at me as i go deeper and deeper in. and i'm so far from the shore, so far from what i came here for, i let you surround me, i let you drown me out with your din -- and then i learned how to swim" and then she does this little "oh oh oh oh" that just kills me. music in that familiar way. and talked to a person who defines several ani songs for me tonight, and it was wonderful. how far we've come. oh oh oh oh. i might just send you those songs. sixforgold. remember this january?! has it really been a year. pure insanity. xoxo.
from whitepills :
::claps hands together and bounces with childlike fervor at the thought of one more tree to help with:: YAY!
from girl101 :
i remember one month ago today too, all your words that led up to this day, the excitement, the sky. you make me smile girl. much love. ♥
from whitepills :
heh, I liked your emotional vomit. Hard times all around. :) Bush IS a train wreck. As you always say, friends til the end. I hope to see you both soon. Justin
from snotgirl :
the latest entry made me cry. it's been a long time since i've written anything worth reading. it's been a long time since i've left you a note. you're still my sister to the bust.
from whitepills :
Oh, and I DO own a sleping bag. Sorry, just like we used to write each other...I'm drunk. ;)
from whitepills :
You can't even COMPREHEND the smile you gave me. My face brightened SO much at that note...Hell, even I (that "I" should be italisized...damn diaryland) can't believe it. I woulf drive three hours by my lonesome in a heartbeat to knock on your door. Tell Mike I say "Thank you SOOOOO much!" For not worrying about the moron who keeps writing you. I want to meet (and hug,y'know, cause you owe me) you both so much. I'll tell you what, HQAX, the band I'm friends with, has a BUNCH of shows in November. However, if you guys are okat with it, I'll whole heartedly (barring deathe or dismemberment) committ to coming down in early Decemeber. I'll probably be feeling better by then, but I've got a few day off left this year, and I might as well use them spending time with people I already know I care about. :) )))))))) And all the extras there were in fact more smiles. :) You guys rock. I can't WAIIIIT to meet you both. Lots of love and hugs. Me Where should I send my next e-mail???
from whitepills :
Thank you so much. Please forgive me, did I send you an e-mail recently? I feel like I responded to the one you sent me, but my life has been such a mush lately, that I'm not sure. I know I had things to tell you, but I can't remember if I already said them. I'm losing my mind Cheree'. I hope you're adjusting better. I know you miss your girls. It'll get easier, and then you'll have them by your side.
from redd :
the better things. love, triumph. you
from whitepills :
Heartracer, you asshole. I'm sending love across these few measley miles. Think about it, we're but a couple hours from hugs and handshakes. I know it's hard to be away from family, but it won't be forever.
from whitepills :
You've probably already left. It's funny how I always seem to read your diary RIGHT before you go on some HUGE adventure where I won't be able to get in contact with you. I wish you the best on the way over here. I wish you the best in dealing with the separation from your kittens (even though the separation will be over before you know it). And I wish that sooner rather than later you, Mike and myself can meet somewhere between Dayton and Louisville. It's only about a three hour drive between the two. I know you haven't forgotten, but you DO owe me that hug! :) I'm sure it will take you some time to get adjusted and settled here, but if and when you get a chance, shoot me an e-mail. [email protected] [email protected] I can't wait to hear from you. ::ONE BIG INTERNET HUG FOR YOU AND MIKE:: Good luck and safe journey!
from euphorically :
what a wonderful aching divine adventure you are undertaking. i am so jealous and so sad for you. i so hope you write again, its been too long already and i so want to hear how you grow in this new place. good luck my sunshine, and from the bottom of my heart, i know its a wonderful thing.
from aquietboy :
thank you for paying attention to the little things. the world needs more girls like that. and boys too, while we're at it.
from rainforme :
gorgeous diary... good luck in south africa.
from aquietboy :
i'm glad you liked it. but i tried to slip that one in there without anyone noticing....
from greentealeaf :
hi there, you write very prettily. (and i do adore adam duritz and his ilk.)
from shamsi9 :
thanks
from shamsi9 :
nice. worth the wait. glad you seem to know how blessed you are.
from girl101 :
hi miss paradise ♥
from whitepills :
I don't have anything! :(
from euphorically :
will you ever write again? i miss you and so hope to hear soon how it is all working out for you my dear.
from raven72d :
I hope you come back...and write more. I hope little Jade is well cared for.
from euphorically :
are you ok, my darling? i so hope you write soon, every day i check, but there are no diary entries from lovely cheree. good luck my dear, i love you.
from shamsi9 :
this year i will have a cat again i think. i look forward very much to that day. i want a calm kitty for nights like the ones you speak of. i woke up and cried. i love my family in that way too. it's too hard to try to talk about it.
from whitepills :
I believe you're already gone, but that's okay. My message will get to you in spirit. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you and Mike.
from ihatejodie :
oh no!!!! do try to keep in touch!
from dipso :
i love you baby, cant wait to live in knysna with you.xov
from aquietboy :
it just rolls on and on and i can't take my eyes off it.
from shamsi9 :
nice. that expresses how i feel at present too.
from whitepills :
On a bad day it might take me three hours to get to Louisville. Sometimes traffic is bad in Cincinnati. But, on a good day, I can make it easily in two and a quarter hours.
from whitepills :
I'm glad it was good. : ) Lots of love to you and Mike
from whitepills :
I hope your show is unreal.
from whitepills :
I'm happy there's hope for your little cats. I wish you the best of luck in keeping them with you. When you leave, will you have the means to use diaryland with you? Will we know what's going on?
from raven72d :
It must be the South African autumn... But how are you, Cheree...? I do miss hearing from you!!
from whitepills :
I don't read your words as often as I should, and it amazes me that someone's fingerstrokes can make me tear up. You're as wonderful as always. I don't even like cats that much and I miss yours!
from whitepills :
I wrote you an e-mail, so this little message will be short and sweet. Congrats on seeing your boys soon. Wouldn't it be great to go see them in a big group? What are the chances of you and Mike making a visit? ;)
from mugbug226 :
Aww, thank you very much. More friends of my brother have wished me happy birthday than my own! Maybe that's a bad sign... hmm... Thanks, again. ;o)
from dipso :
im beginning to see the light.... i fucking love you
from snotgirl :
sisterly ties untied no longer. shoestringer fingers tent with mine. hello, dear friend. i've come to sit.
from raven72d :
I've missed hearing from you... And what is "Films About Ghosts"? But-- kitties are a good judge of character. They'll know who to love.
from dipso :
i think youre pretty too
from raw-hate :
hey sweetie, long time no talk. I have a problem and was wondering if you could help me out. Just sign my notes. Its with a friends diary.
from dipso :
all the other boys are jealous today... all the smiles a lonely set of teeth... the lame love poems are high in quantity for the girl i love... my eyes cant hide the warmth, my love cant hold itself, youre everything i am... all i need. all the other hearts are envious, all my love to you, feb 14
from dipso :
hi baby, i love you, , one more for the notes page... supriSed??!!!
from aquietboy :
and it sticks in my throat when i read you. and its nice here. its quiet. makes you want to lie down awhile and sit still. not move an inch. not flinch. like a warm afternoon. with tea. and a good book. and pretty face to look at. and someone playing with your hair.
from shamsi9 :
i miss you magic fingers
from girl101 :
be still my heart--engine turning over won't you start. oh, hearts. ♥///. you &your countdowns :)
from thefallofart :
i'm jealous of your love, and of your warm, heated winter. of africa and the sun. of all the little things that you write about. i'm captured.
from shamsi9 :
i would say boys are bad, run away but i rarely do, so....
from robotxgirl :
hi, I read your diary and it made my day a little better.
from dipso :
always for you, sometimes i think we all smell like lions in the rain, , when we can handle the moments of the hunt. the instinct, the holy bodies wrapped in arms... and the girl who thinks in pretty, the woman ill spend my life beside. the long talks, the listening, the feeling that ill talk hen i need to... and ill smile when i feel like it. cause all of my life is quarantined for us. the nights arent for you; the days not for me, , but this life is for us. even the rain king opens the sky, scares the skippies of the world, , we all should feel a little safer knowing you exist, i know i do, and always have, , i think everyone agrees, but i dont know, , cause youre the only one ill listen to. my love, my eyes for you.
from euphorically :
oh my god, congratulations congratulations. emails to be sent. i canīt believe it.
from girl101 :
dear lovelovelove, i love knowing what you mean,,, summer's not a season &your summer is those cool nights, i just love it. this is quite how my life has been lately: "when snatches of the day become their own lifetimes...oh, the moments. the things that slipped through me like waves, and sounded like fires starting. the things i wanted to write about..." and oh, counting crows! they are my favorite, wake up to mrs potters lullaby and angels of the silences in the morning, their best of cd tugs on my eyelids and the sunshine can't help but fall in. your news years sounds fantastic -- i like that you two kept scribbling and dancing, and what a scene, and those sunsets! god. our matching hearts ¶llel lives. i am happy in bundles for you, in piles of sunshine, in those nights that never end and songs that play back the memories. cheree<3, you are fan.tas.tic. love, katie.
from raven72d :
How have you been! I do miss you!!!
from heartracer :
"promise you/ll say...."
from dipso :
i wanna take you inside and throw you into bed, , through the night, into the morning
from dipso :
you even fucking nice whn you pay bills
from dipso :
if the fleshy skin you are were an oyster, you heart would definitely be a pearl.
from raven72d :
Happy 2004, Cheree! Do send me the password for your diary...and do write again... I miss hearing fom you.
from whitepills :
New Year's Kiss. MWAH!
from whitepills :
As usual, you're words are beautiful. I hope that one day someone I love thinks of me the way you do for Michael.
from pageme :
Happy Holiday beautiful!! Oh, and congratulations. Love and kisses, xXx
from whitepills :
Welp, that's the right one. I guess I'll just wait with baited breath!
from whitepills :
Okay, um, what e-mail address did you send to? I checked AOL. I had 51 new messages and all of them appeared to be spam. I feel I was VERY careful in deleting everything that was unimportant, but I didn't find anything good in there. Hmmmm.
from whitepills :
Oooh! Stop doing this to me! That makes two entries in a row (given, they were slightly spaced out), that have taken my breath away. First, I find out I may never talk to you again. WHo knew you'd be back in a month? THEN, you're BACK and you're MARRIED. Whew, talk about a stomach dropper (but not in the bad way). The first one made me happy for you and sad at the loss, this one just makes me very happy. So congratulations! What does this make you? Mrs. Cheree' _________? Hmmm, about me. Christmas is keeping me in it's heart, and I'm keeping it in mine. I still love it. I've been watching "National Ampoon's Christmas Vacation" as I'm falling asleep the last few nights. Magical :) My roommates and I separated back in October (though still on good terms, everyone wanted to "grow up"). I've been living at my mom's for the last couple months paying off a couple bills. I hope to move out in Feb. or March. We're all having our Christmas party tomorrow. I'm incredibly excited. I bought WAY too many presents and can't wait for everyone to open them. Jessica and I are doing decently. I honestly don't know how things will turn out. Her priority right now is school, with me in distant second. It's not that she makes me feel bad or anything. We still have a very good relationship, and I care about her with all my heart. She just has other priorities right now. I don't know which way the cards will fall. I'm just hoping they're in my favor. I miss talking to you very much! I'm INCREDIBLY happy for you. Don't stop writing in here again. Or at least not without e-mailing or SOMETHING. Are we clear? Glad to hear it. Lots of love and mushy friend crap, Justin
from whitepills :
I see, I thought you were describing what I do to you when you think about how awesome I am.... Okay, I guess that was a bit stupid.
from dipso :
merrychristmas.fuckface
from bruised0x :
please can i have a password
from heartshaped :
i need to read you. i need to.
from whitepills :
Well are you good? Are you alive and well and happy and back and can I have the password? Puh-lease?!?!?!?!
from ihatejodie :
the funny thing is, i thought about you just this morning. congratulations and best wishes!
from dipso :
okokokokokokokok, , so yeah, , so im here?? okok, , so I AM HERE. and yeah, , youve a perfectly nice ass to touch, , just to let you know, , . and the world should know, from all discounts of diaryland gossip, , im forever in love with you, , and i think, , , , ill kiss you now.
from heartracer :
stop fucking around, mike.. youre feeding me drinks like im starving... and im not; unless you wanna kiss me......then im starving, okay? yeh, so get off diaryland now...well, youre touching my ass... heyy!!!!
from dipso :
theyre not ALL stupid, , ARE THEY????????
from dipso :
hey there stranger. where you been???? god, , flew all the way to africa for you, , , you never showed?? god, , ive been at this hotel for 3 weeks now. the drinks are getting lonely without. where can you be? awww, , youre busy , eh? with the one boy you love? well, , thats ok, , cause i know youre happy. forever your love, forever the boy you love, , Aalways
from raven72d :
Come back, Cheree. I do miss you.
from shamsi9 :
i was thinking about faith yesterday. it's the only thing i have.
from girl101 :
"nothing ends here, except this." herestonoexcuses: heylove, see all the notes on this page. these tears in our eyes. love. i will read your words over and over and i'll remember reading them when i didn't know half of who i was who i am who i'm going to be but there is just too much love its overwhelming - you know what i mean - so many thoughts thrown to the wind in all these white pages and black ink, thrown to the air &back across the sky across waves &wires and it's good that it's there and it's good that we've been there and have a trace of it running through us, smallest traces in new skin; i'll know love in all the corners of the earth; he&you&i&he&all-together the love the love and the love. you were my magic in hell too darling, growing up, girl progression heartraces heartchases, we were there and it was love and i know i'll never forget it, in the best of ways, in exactly how it was. and tears come when those threads &traces hit our hearts in just the right way, moving in unconscious poetric streams, and the song plays (hey mister in that shirt could you be giving me directions..<3<3) and then the room is still and the window is open and we're sailing around the room in our heads remembering. and we deal with this all in our own ways, i sit and spin and write, i dance and i dream and i do, and i keep in touch with people like you that matter for these very same reasons that take me to the curtains billowing and the glass reflecting and the song playing in the first place. living&loving&leaving&loving these loves and their lives and how when tiny fingers playing on open pianos, baby grand, cold hands held together for warmth and. those paragraphs of hello and thisismekeepingintouch and letshearallaboutyourday. to live free, free in the forever-love that we make life, and that that same life, that same love, is free with us-- well then we hold hands &kiss each other on the cheek &say this has all been wonderful, and now i'm on my way. iloveyou &am sososo happy for you. send a line through the wires every once &a while, ♥.
from ihatejodie :
if you come back, you let us know. cheree, good luck.
from whitepills :
Fate made it so that you'd click on the diary of a stupid boy who liked Counting Crows. How odd that on so many days I would see you had updated and I would say, "I can read that in the morning." But today, I saw your little name in red type on my buddy list and decided I'd check on you. How odd that our beginning and our ending of sorts were both dictated by fate. I read and I assume your happiness will take you away from diaryland. Not that I blame you, but I'll miss you. I cried when I thought about that. Just a little mind you, I am a big tough guy, so crying isn't acceptable. I hope you read this and should you do that, e-mail me ([email protected]). I'll be in Africa one day, and I have a score to settle with you. The matter of one hug that has been promised, and a birthday present that never got sent. It's in my wallet right now reminding me of you. A ticket signed by Adam of the band that brought us two wordiots together. Love forever and always.
from girl101 :
i came to see what time it was. ONE DAY ♥ iamsoexited&happyforyou. before he comes &you get tangled in each other for daysanddaysanddays, send me an email [email protected] i wanna hear from you i miss our latenight talks ♥!goodness. my heart just explodes for you, ya know? xoxooxoxoxox til the sun comes up &it's a new day with him<3<3<3
from dipso :
halloween, what a fucking lost day without you, happy, , , november!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from whitepills :
Well, Jessica and I have been trying to work out some crap. It seems to be going pretty well. We weren't pissed at each other to begin with. Just frustrated that we couldn't be together (Ha! As if you wouldn't understand what I mean there). Anyway, your words of love have once again aided in lifting my spirits. Thank you....as always.
from shamsi9 :
troo
from dipso :
its never as long as it seems. even in funhouse mirrors, ill find a way.
from dipso :
"god given ass"
from dipso :
take me home, shitty, , even though wet guns still go bang, , never sounds as believable as when it rains. i have images of a girl, draped in something soft, smoking, as usual, pausing and staring into the corner of something too mineature to decide whether its real or imagined. so she can only type words to decide, , and then its real, , almost as real as something i need to stay afloat, , me me me, , something i need, , words bruise me sometimes when you write. small gut cries., , frente plays when youre not here, hear, , im just a labour of love, hear. porcupine back on my shoulders when im deciding whats the best way to kidnap somebodys smile. should i look into their eyes, will it make me sick?//will i see the moment?, , im needing to see into your eyes without the thick veils we know. goddamn, im a human, , i need you.
from frisbee01 :
thank you.
from whitepills :
Oh but you DO have the most perfect timing. It seems like last year my life was getting insanely happy while yours was falling apart. Oh how the tables have turned. I wish you the best sweetie. :)
from dipso :
none of it seems to make sense, im sure, but its all meant to remind you of one thing, , thats all, im just a social disaster, , but i fall to the floor thinking of you, i hit my head on the over-hang when i hear your voice, , you are loved, i am someone who loves.loves you , , love
from dipso :
and give to fuck, ((the all i add)) to all the lads, who seem to keep making my rounds more into the skin. more the wounds. more the bandages, , more , , the, , forgotten, , now,., , now
from dipso :
your finally picking up? so you know, , if im not out of the triangle, id like to eat slit suck bury meet lick know cover the very last of you
from ihatejodie :
i can't tell you how happy i am that you are finally picking up. everything will be alright.
from raven72d :
I'd glad you've found happiness...
from shamsi9 :
"calm gardens"...lovely.
from no-yes-maybe :
You are an awesome writer
from frisbee01 :
I'm glad that your waiting is mostly over. Keep your head up.
from shamsi9 :
once again, you have rocked me
from dipso :
scorpions breathe and scatter in the summer heat. waiting to march into their den. i send my love to all the pinchers and the pointy things. the spiny and the rough have their ways, they do. almost ten deserts ago, i had fifty scorpion critters breeding in my head, they tumbled one BY one, until there were no more. wondered where my burning babies left me. earning my head finally. in seas of disease i calmly made a home. never knowing island lands surround....other heads about. my darling one, my scorpions are not vanished gone, theyre naked now. i see them all for what they are. grown happy pets into my face. my wanted one, before i even knew why, , before i learned to live, , youve helped me to train those little sharp tails. and i say their place is secure, cause ill never run again. and i say, they have a home in me, along the broad shoulders of something greater than myself to hold. my head is bound by you, , my wrists are always in your hand. ten times we cried through the night....neveragain well live these desert ways.
from girl101 :
oh lovely c! oh you. my heart leaps up for you; i am so happy for you and your big love. i feel like we lived last september togetherapart, all those latenights talking; and ohgod, think of all the wonderfulbeautiful things that have happened to us since. it was frigid then and... summer's inside us; and the excitment for you to have that giant carrier bring the giant love.! suchsuch. it's something so amazing, all the things that have changed. hearing about your nana and theboy really brought tears to my eyes; from your africa and my florida sends shivers of coincidince straight to my heart, oceans to my eyes. and about words--- you're right on target. i can't say it enough, how glad i am you're alive&writing. let's talk soon misschereelove, trade stories til the sun comes up. xo.
from aquietboy :
that was a tidal wave and i couldn't be more impressed.
from ihatejodie :
oh! yay! you're back!!!
from aquietboy :
why have you stopped?
from raven72d :
I always write in sections punctuated by ellipses, by the three dots...and with semi-colons. They're the only way I have of spacing words to fit my own rhythms...
from raven72d :
Tell me about the "giant carrier"...
from heartracer :
_
from raven72d :
Isn't it a great song? Hey-- do send more pixels my way...
from aquietboy :
you break slowly.
from dipso :
whos this michael motherfucker, , i guess, , hes ok, , an i guess, , i like him, , if you trust him, , i guess, , im going to bed, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,, , i think, , hes something to chew on, , even tho hes still waiting for you fucker, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh , , through the phone lines an infant is borne
from dipso :
ya know, , ive never wanted to kiss a donkey before i saw you.
from dipso :
thanks sister, you aint too bad yrself
from dipso :
i followed my darling sister to the bust [snotgirl] here /& i love it. yr words are beautiful. xo.
from shamsi9 :
you do make it matter...yay, for noticing!
from shamsi9 :
i second that emotion
from heartshaped :
i wrote nearly the same words a month ago. in my diary that's locked. it makes me think we're on the same wavelength. not that i didn't already know that.
from whitepills :
Okay, is dipso coming to visit you?
from dipso :
ill never HAVE to say i love you. but youll always know its true. words to describe things without description, are small words. my eyes, have words in the,. little house on the praries on. i hope i never have to watch that show with you. oh yeah, by the way, , i love you.
from red-wine :
Howdy, kitten! Why all locked up tight?
from ihatejodie :
password please
from girl101 :
hey sugarheart. [email protected] let me know what's up with life and locks and loves. xoxoxoxox; you're solid gold
from whitepills :
::knock knock:: Can I come in?
from clearskies :
"tracy chapman never reads this" >>girl i'm right here♥
from dipso :
11/15/03
from dipso :
hello darling, hello chick, i was thinking about you for some strange reason today, hmmmmm?, i dunno, it was strange, i just was sitting here, you know, and something came over me, wonder what the heartracers up to. i wonder wht her lifes like. did that girl ever find love? one love? someone who can finally see what she is, , what she isnt, in every way. well, ill dream for you, ok. and ill hope, youve found love, as i have. yes. my love is strong. so hold on, ok, , cause hes coming.
from sephiragrace :
im sorry tracy chapman never reads this, but i do! & i hope things are going well for you. :)
from heartracer :
tracy chapman never reads this
from sephiragrace :
:D
from shamsi9 :
yup.
from aquietboy :
exhale over me. let me feel your breath.
from shamsi9 :
so wierd, i'm gonna quote myself, i have s ong that says "the science of silence, is me giving in..." that's bit like that semtiment. love the bouquet. you write me into oblivion every time. thank you.
from shamsi9 :
isn't that the best. i like when i get someone going and i'm ripping on them.
from dipso :
oh love to be in the smart showings of the parade. its inside of me, concentrating on your skin.
from dipso :
you know dere girl, i just rered "the boy you love", which was written a time ago, and the words seem bright for you, although they werent meant for me, they were you know, and i calm you cause i love. but it was an exact comment on the things you had written. maybe about me, about someone you needed, but i wished, in live creator storm shit, it were for me, satisfaction yes, ill confess, it was for you, so long ago, in my name, my girl, all along my skin, the fratures overwealm, i love, come to me, you know, i will, you will. bye baby, me
from whitepills :
Well well well. One day, over ice filled glasses of some hard liquor, when we've met and talked in person about our lives and can actually say we KNOW each other, I would be more than happy to hear about it. Until then, I remain your loyal (and distant), friendly grouping of words on the screen of a small plastic box.
from whitepills :
Your newest entry was very pretty and happy sounding. Are you happy in there?
from dipso :
jy is kwaaier as gebak roomys. ((yeh, its all i know)), de ammo, miguel
from heartshaped :
this is heartshaped missing heartracer-
from raven72d :
Write soon, lovely... Tell me about your own days...
from shamsi9 :
so beautiful. thanks
from raven72d :
I miss you! Are you angry at me?
from girl101 :
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 let's you&me trade stories soon, like old times, like always.
from girl101 :
"summer's not always a season" ILOVEYOU.
from whitepills :
Hello there Heartracer.
from aquietboy :
i'd like to meet whomever breathes fire into you.
from aquietboy :
you wrote what i feel on hot sticky nights when i see her and she see's me. and i never could describe it. but you did. you did.
from dipso :
hold on, im coming, da da da du du, de de
from raven72d :
You have a letter on the way, Cheree...
from shamsi9 :
yeah
from raven72d :
Rewind... Wasn't there a song called that a few years back?
from sephiragrace :
you are wonderful! <3
from raven72d :
what are those songs, lovely one?
from raven72d :
Write soon... I do miss you! And I envy anyone you want for a second skin at night...
from aquietboy :
sometimes i'd like to steal you away.
from thefallofart :
i forget if i ever said thank you to your note. i've been so rapidly busy and not sleeping these days to remember. but i only wished i was that perfect.
from dipso :
harassing me... ahhh, oh fuck, anytime. you think you have the nerve?.... go ahead, just you try. yeah, i said it, you go ahead an give it yr best shot. see if i dont love every little bit. mwuahhhahaha.. ... ... yeah, yup, fuck, any time, baby.
from shamsi9 :
i love you too. margarita time is coming...i can't ever read journals anymore cause i come on these 15 minute computers at the fucking library!
from aquietboy :
you should come solve my dilemmas.
from dipso :
newtitle sucks
from girl101 :
i remember that night. when the music danced and our hearts left us.
from aquietboy :
slow girl slow. nothing compares. nothing.
from dipso :
hi there, little one, little chicken hedd, little woman singing the loudest in the choir.. hi there photo queen, baby face, smoking, loving, everyday dreamings... hi there soft eyed sad time, love live, every time... im this person,,, wanting to speak with you,,, willing to uncover all the little slices of land... ahhhh, marketing myself for african customs,,, well, im sleeping now youre reading this,,, im gonna write you when i wake up,, soon, soon, i cant wait to see you soon, soon, many ways i see,, but none so cleansed like these eyes youve built for me... ahhh, well, gnight girl, night
from girl101 :
you know. one of the things i love about you is the way you feel. you hold every feeling with both hands, you hold it and look at it throw it down, smash it on the floor, stomp it out and watch the pieces shatter. &it's you there feeling it all, every piece. you there when the pieces fly back together into your hands like a crazy backwards shift of entropy. the increasing chaos. with the songs and the drinks and the people and the newfound everything. i love catching up with you. i'm so glad you write and i'm so glad you're .you., missdarlingchereeface. ♥//.
from shamsi9 :
tru
from heartracer :
oh,, hi there,, oooooo, this feels strange, hi there,, im not the racer,, but the boy in love.. ha, well, sinister shit, well yeah... and im here,, to fill in the blanks,,, and pretty the eyes
from monday-night :
fucking amazing. yes, indeed.
from raven72d :
I so want to hear your thoughts...
from dipso :
record players fly seperate. and fuck you god. ill find a way to beat you.
from raw-hate :
i miss you xoxo
from mary-harper :
so good.
from dipso :
one more solo...yeahyy,,, yaiehhhh
from raven72d :
I so envy whoever your entries are for... To be someone who attracts such passion and belief is...overwhelming.
from jozkajozka :
that was really sweet. the last two lines. yes.
from raven72d :
Send more photos, too.
from raven72d :
It's okay, darling. Write me when you can... teach me Afrikaans phrases...
from shamsi9 :
"the sun won't clean the world" and neither will i! rockin it...rockin it
from aquietboy :
wow. speechless. again. beautiful.
from dipso :
meow... phsst phsst...
from girl101 :
hi&heart;girl. how are you? the boy kissed me. we really need to talk! i want to hear about the newplace. lovelove.
from raven72d :
Silence never lies, and neither do the small kindnesses you've done me...
from dipso :
you were never a mistake. you were always my miracle. in the people who made the girl i know... the one i @#$#, i bless the notice,,, and thanks to the chemical fate which has brought us chance to see the other. ill neglect the pain... for a while.
from dipso :
oh.... youll pay. missed you by an hour.
from raven72d :
If I were a springbok, I'd want a quagga as a friend. And I wish you and I could have long late night phone conversations and talk about the world and the rebirth of the quagga.
from softplaces :
Sorry babygirl, I thought I had told everyone about the change, but helquin has moved to softplaces... <3 Thanks for leaving the note, I feel loved.
from sephiragrace :
I heart you, heartracer.
from dipso :
string it out through the bedroom windows... string it over the lawn outside... string it into everything... and hook the words round like a fish... and reel the supper in... you are, you know..., yeah
from jdm5k :
i hope you're well. you've been so cryptic!
from whitepills :
Hello my dear. I hope all is well. I want to talk to you SOON. I miss our late night conversation.
from raven72d :
I'm so glad it arrived... You're vur' special, Cheree...
from raven72d :
I want good things for you, girl... (Has a letter arrived?)
from dipso :
profanity=love... shit
from dipso :
your valued customers.... i almost had my teeth knocked out tonite . my nose bled an i wanted to hear from you
from raven72d :
I want you to be able to kick off your own shoes and run along the shore of so many seas...
from dipso :
awww fuck,,, i just missed you, you were online when i got on this thing,,, i was gonna break the ice with,,, hey, you spent entirely too much time on the fuckin computer,,,, but you got off, so i guess i spend entirely too much time on this thing. well, fuck shit cat puss and rotten oranges inside the caves we drink urine from the spouts... i miss the hearttracer
from dipso :
"fuck 10 to 20" and "i guess about 32 hours or so" something like those... those were the ones from when i was arrested... all those around or on those dates... when either i had no where to go and i was driving around sleeping w/ friends or in car or i was just sitting in labs killink time... so ok,,, youre ok
from shamsi9 :
purtee
from shamsi9 :
once again you have made america shine-bombs bursting in air indeed
from dipso :
ITS 544 HERE...MUST BE 1144 THERE... IM TRYING TO WAIT FOR YOU. I THINK YOULL BE HERE... OR ILL BRING YOU. i accidentally hit capslock
from nakedembrace :
<3, you are too sweet
from raven72d :
What song is going through you...?
from raven72d :
I mailed you a wicked letter today.
from shamsi9 :
sometimes i think i can get the song out of my head--then i realize...
from raven72d :
You're a major delight, girl. E-mail me soon, too. I loved the pix last time.
from heartracer :
the image of my genius...
from raven72d :
"the perfect V of hips"... I so like that image.
from raven72d :
I mailed it last week, I think... But I hope it arrives... And I have missed you, lovely one!
from dipso :
you have coorespondances with everyone... i was just wondering... what did you change or add into your profile.., my god its raining like i think the girl realizes its raining.. ok ok ok ok
from raven72d :
did my letter arrive?
from shamsi9 :
i wish i could bring you wildflowers in themorning and make you tea. i wish i could run your bath and give you a large white terrycloth robe and we could sunbathe. i make mean margaritas. but just for us.
from raven72d :
23 April... An entry whose story I'd like to know...
from whitepills :
I have to tell you that I am sorry for being a bad friend. I've kept up with your diary. Not that that always helps. I'm a guy, so when I see entries, I can rarely tell who you're talking about if you don't say a name (As was illustrated by our confused problem a month or so ago.).
from whitepills :
Must....get....AIM...fast. Eh, I suck. How are you doing?
from dipso :
i guess were only six hours away... huh. goodmorning, heartracer.
from shamsi9 :
if anyone bothers you i will do the dirt. IRL. dead serious.
from patrician :
that there are people like that in the world is very sad... i hope you become free again one day...
from pageme :
Sorry it took so long for me to get aquainted with all the shit you've recently been through. I want you to know I'm here for you. I know how lonely it feels when those closest aren't there to support you. I love you gril. ;) xXx
from raven72d :
I hope so much is perfect for you under the sky.
from shamsi9 :
love is a battlefield
from shamsi9 :
but you're my baby
from raven72d :
You're a lovely underwater swimmer, not a badfish... And I hope you're not doing major drugs again...
from shamsi9 :
break my heart within me
from girl101 :
our matching hearts= "a song too sad to forget/ but too quiet to remember." xo.
from sephiragrace :
heartracer. you rock.
from raven72d :
Come teach me Afrikaans...
from nakedembrace :
mmmmmmmmmmh.
from girl101 :
iloveyou and i've got sugar in my veins, coupled with the hope you're still smiling, still writing, still being the wonderfulheartracegirlfacechereelikenootherwonderfulwonderful you are. xo&♥.
from raven72d :
The 01 April entry was beautiful...
from dipso :
put your faith in everything.... if you dont youll miss the perfect equal... put your faith in yourself... when things arent worth any kind of faith... so many have none... there really is no point. love love love... bye
from dipso :
heartracer, you asshole... where the fuck are you.
from whitepills :
Okay, so get this. I sent your present from the friggen post office. It came back with not enough postage. HOW DOES THE POST OFFICE NOT KNOW HOW MUCH POSTAGE TO USE????? It's things like this that make me doubt my country. But, I'm resending this week. Cheree' this thing's gonna get to you if I have to hand it to you when I go on safari!
from dipso :
kindergarden eyes
from girl101 :
<3you. how's the new place?
from jdm5k :
just saying hi
from mutinyinhell :
for "average Friday night" - God I know what you mean.... --smoke
from raven72d :
Singapore?
from dipso :
ill fly my ship from the stars to wink once your way. id waste the moon for you. hehehehehe...
from dipso :
t-rex says....
from dipso :
.......im just a vampire for your love........
from mutinyinhell :
Glad you let me back in, I got nervous there for a bit. I love your latest poem, it's wonderful. It reminds me alot of 'Glass Vase Cello Case' by Tattle Tale. The feelings are really remarkable...I wish I could explain mine like that.... ---smoke
from helquin :
and here i am to be added to the long list of people pouting because we can't get in. if you're letting dland people read, please pass the word my way, too! <3 otherwise, i hope everything's going good for you... we all need to hide sometimes.
from dipso :
goodnite lady... this is it..goodnite[d]
from dipso :
oh, the girl.... oh shes..oh
from onlydistance :
~I'm going to add another sob to your list of tears here. I've always enjoyed reading your diary and now...this has been taken from me. Eek. What to do? ::.matt.::
from jdm5k :
hey, ack! i can't get in!
from monday-night :
hoping you're okay behind the locked door. xo.
from whitepills :
Ahem....Am I allowed to read? Oh please. Oh please.
from red-wine :
*ahem* Locked? Eh? Whimper.
from dipso :
did you lock this thing? im having a hell of a fit trying to get in. am i just fucking lame or did you acually lock it? a friend is letting me use her webtv and i was lookng forward to stealing a few words. fucker shit
from pageme :
Hey girl, what's up? I hope everything is okay. You know what I want, right? If you want to...you know where to send it. I love you. xXx
from f4sakndauter :
I am truely sorry you locked it. I enjoyed reading while I could.
from raven72d :
"the high kick of perfect ruin..." That's a brilliant phrase...
from shamsi9 :
spit pefection spider-fine
from dipso :
and lost im fucked
from dipso :
attached to you is so enough
from heartshaped :
let me tell you. i think that you are a writing machine. and it keeps getting better and better. i'll come to you when i need inspiration.
from raven72d :
Set all your clocks around me for a golden afternoon... and never think of dying.
from snotgirl :
aww. :) good deal. xoxo.
from whitepills :
I LOVE that entry my dear.
from dipso :
goodnitracer if you get so loaded you can calll...illlll be ready,
from shamsi9 :
sweet heart you make my life a cold shard splintering and i appreciate it
from raven72d :
Hands and eyes...the way the world brushes over us...
from aquietboy :
and you are more beautiful in so many ways. and you make me blush.
from heartracer :
DIPSO DIPSO ///d/i/p/s/o
from dipso :
t-rex says....
from dipso :
im just a jeepster for your love...
from dipso :
i guess its the fact that my heads been on the chopping block, and my eyes are glazed over a sturdy black. i miss you more than i will probably miss anything right now
from dipso :
i miss you
from f4sakndauter :
here. here.
from shamsi9 :
i think you're on fire just now and hope you're keeping another journal too with more where this came from-and also for your sanity cause it sounds like you're hurting.
from aquietboy :
you need someone to take you for ice cream.
from shamsi9 :
always say what you mean *love*
from shamsi9 :
into the rabbit hole/wormhole/ mineshaft
from dipso :
does you feel so much
from dipso :
how girl
from raven72d :
Enjoy having your friends there, darling... Avoid airport hot dogs... The bag o' goodies sounds nice. When will you teach me things in Afrikaans?
from shamsi9 :
i know, i know. baby girl.
from raw-hate :
I did it again i ruined my diary, please help me out. I added a whole bunch of new links and tried to do the same to the older pages but then all my entries disappeared. You know the password and all so can you please fix it for me? xoxox me
from dipso :
i need heartracer pills
from shamsi9 :
owww. i wanna be happy again. let's be happy again...although i honestly wish i had someone to cry into the phone with/to
from whitepills :
Yeah, that's better! Okay, I'm done
from whitepills :
Damn that arrow was supposed to point at the heart. Like this -----> <3
from whitepills :
Oh man! Guess who has their REALLY late birthday present on the way. Go on, guess. No, it's not Doogie Howser. It's you assface. Tell me when you get it!!!! Lots of this ---> <3
from dipso :
anything you say....!
from heartshaped :
i'm scared of other people. and maybe i'm a little scared of me. sometimes it's hard to be myself consistently. i shouldn't be saying this at 19.
from dipso :
hello
from aquietboy :
the beauty never stops in here. its too good to be true.
from helquin :
I can't believe pathetic asks for an essay now -- that's incredibly lame. It used to be they just asked for your information and a sample poem. I wouldn't worry, though, it's probably just one of those things to ask for to see if you're too lazy to do it, you know? Just throw together a whole bunch of those phrases pathetic poets love... diversity, open-mindedness, a love for writing... should be fine. <3
from raven72d :
'Twas a lovely letter...from a lovely friend.
from whitepills :
Nope, [email protected] is the correct address. I made sure to look closely at everythng in my inbox before I deleted anything I thought might be junk, cause I wasn't sure of your address. I dunno. Maybe AOL was just pissed at me.
from whitepills :
I haven't received it yet. Oh no!
from dipso :
gnite cheree...w/love...michael
from dipso :
are you around?
from dipso :
hello
from whitepills :
I haven't gotten your address yet, but I prolly won't get on AOL until I'm off work. We'll see when I get home. I was saying that when you see what your gift is, you're going to be pissed that you kept forgetting to send the address. I just think it's really cool. You might think I hyped it too much. We'll see. Either way, it's all thanks to Mike.
from whitepills :
Heartracer, you wonderful sweetheart. I'm going to stop using the "Heartracer, blah blah blah..." Intro now. Just know that I really appreciated your note. Oh, and when I finally DO send your gift, I think you'll be pissed you waited so long. Well, at least from my point of view. : )
from heartshaped :
you are the girl in my head. the girl i want to be but get scared sometimes. <3
from shamsi9 :
it's good to be exceptional in someone's mind and heart.
from snotgirl :
oh, dear heavens. i love you with more heart than i thought i had...
from helquin :
You should definitely go to pathetic.org and sign up for a poetry library. I fucking -love- your style. They're taking new members now, too, so it's a good time to sign up. <3
from heartshaped :
as long as you're okay. xo.
from dipso :
i am stopped from writin g things which id like to write... there are lots of things disssolving me...there lots of people...meaning women who cant grt their shit straight. they cant be ok together.... like id hoped ..shit.. ill try again... noyhing like an email they de get
from shamsi9 :
hello
from helquin :
My heart goes out to you, girl... my kitty-pillars are three, but still I'd be devastated if one ran away. I'll be praying, too.
from heartshaped :
hi doll. i'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. this breaks my heart. <3
from dipso :
i agree with the previous note...i think your words stuck in my throat, i think i hope i wish i could understand all you have to feel, please be ok, i smile when i read your pages, i fall apart sometimes, it doesnt matter which...all beauty causes reaction... making other people see it is your talent. heartracer is boss as shit...dont you forget it.
from raven72d :
You write lovely letters...
from dipso :
call me and gift me i promise i need it-- if its anything you want i am. and its all packed inside like gun powder up my nose-- i need it i swear. in my ears equipment i hate well live inside and grow we need. i am everything i need it i swear. all body im trapped and waiting for a key. if im what you need. and if everything seems right theres no reason not to. all reason we ignored and regret... no reason gift me i swear.
from dipso :
they wont let us non gold members add entries so...
from shamsi9 :
i never did that...but i just saw about counting crows in a friend's witchcraft book...neat. they only went to four i think.
from dipso :
hello then, ive spent all of my time here reading your entries. i dont even want to add anything into my pages now..you show off show me up w/emotion. youre beautiful captivating and all. and all and all
from raven72d :
Treasure the kitties, darling.
from raven72d :
I think it arrived this morning in a giant stack o' mail in my postbox...
from whitepills :
Damn you. I was gonna post that exact quote. I was thinking about all the tattoos I want to get. And I though about getting seven crows on my person somewhere. I really liked that idea. I think most of my tattoos from now on are going to be from songs that mean something to me. Anyway, I wanted to post it yesterday and forgot. Always day late and a buck short. Heartracer you asshole :D
from whitepills :
I'm very happy to hear that. I just had to explain to Jess who Ron is. Poor girl doesn't watch enough porn. Mike gave me your present. I'm gonna keep telling you until you make it so I can send it. If your just worried I'm gonna come all the way to S. Africa to kill you or something just let me know. But dammit, if you're not, then send your address so I can send the damn thing to you.
from shamsi9 :
moving through spacetime
from helquin :
none of this "pseudo poetry" shit in your profile. nothing pseudo about it. you're a fucking phenomenal writer.
from heartshaped :
this will be my first time seeing both of them. everything will be amazing after this. i can feel it in the air. i wish i could take you with me, doll. i'm almost positive that no one could appreciate this as much as you and i. you know. i'll be thinking of you. love.
from aquietboy :
you mesmerize me.
from raven72d :
I hope the new room works well... And I hope you'll send letters...
from shamsi9 :
yeah
from heartshaped :
i have tickets to see tori amos in less than four weeks. and then counting crows in april. life is beautiful. <3
from girl101 :
shine on you crazy diamond. x♥.
from snotgirl :
//good luck with the move. i love you.
from shamsi9 :
i like
from dipso :
no... i didnt get it... but i am curious... ive got to leave right now. .. but it was good to hear from you.. ill probably check this all again in about 4 hours...so later hracer
from dipso :
well then...youll just have to write out the entire letter in my notes page... its good to know youre alive though... like long letters are so important..
from dipso :
candy in email
from shamsi9 :
yeah, who was in this show?
from dipso :
heartracers words... s s
from girl101 :
a place where i'd be guaranteed to lose my mind.... ♥! i.ll sing the words tonight and !!! we.ll minimize the miles //on the run past the gun, think it.s about time i blew my mind. &dearcheree, your entries have just just just been so hasjkfhsdwonderful, just like that. hope all is well in far away land. your entry about missing tyler made me feel. <3
from raven72d :
"sleepy wasteland afternoons..." A beautiful entry.
from dipso :
silly me...i am going home...you write sweet like tarts and lips
from dipso :
oh yeah, i was late friday...to work...theyre like nazis...i was conditioned...written up
from dipso :
oh shit, email from me will probably make you sick. i dont really know what ive written. i think it was gooey with inconsistancy...i am so tired i am seeing little heartracer spots before my eyes. little dots of a girl writer number one. dont tell me youre the real deal ....the true words. again i hope the letter isnt insane... im not. i dont think. but you be ok, long away. long away writer girl. i should hope to touch you...like fruit to me..and all those descriptive words which accompany...yeah those.........
from heartshaped :
i'm glad to hear it. you must see old school. vince vaughn + snoop + the kid from dude where's my car. you can't get any better than that.
from shamsi9 :
those would be great song lyrics
from heartshaped :
i knew you'd understand because you always do and you always will. sometimes i come across people that i think i may share a soul with. you are one of those people. there are a few of us out there, you know. my feelings are so inconsistent as of late. you wouldn't believe the thoughts that go through my mind. and then five minutes later you would. it's just one of those things, i guess. yr the best, my love. cheers.
from heartshaped :
it's just been one of those weeks where i have to sit back and think, "how did i get myself into this situation." do you know what i mean? just one thing after the next. yesterday was tragic but i'm still alive. i'm a pro at this being sad shit.
from sephiragrace :
Thank you sweetie! xoxo
from heartshaped :
i swear that the weirdest shit happens to me. life is but a dream. <3
from dipso :
i need to write something more than bye...thanks...and i will. just not now or ill be late. fuck
from dipso :
ive no time to leave good messages. and weekend means no computer probably. bye..thanks
from shamsi9 :
you write better than the guy from counting crows. by a country mile.
from dipso :
next time ill make more sense. my legs hurt from job. sweet goodbye.
from dipso :
letters in the mail...i went blank and public computer labs are no good as ive noted. tangible things are driving me mad. when it rains i trance into heartracer thoughts... all the little i know about you. all the works you build. ill believe in some things. some things some things some things some things are the reasons to believe. send pictures and return address. send valuables for me. send sun for nite and sheets for alone. all the byes cant tell you bye... i think i know what i mean. girl.. warm and easy, ....... girl
from heartshaped :
i noticed that. and i'm so nosey that i read the note that you wrote about me. girl. my heart feels THISMUCH better. mwah.
from whitepills :
Can you tell me who this Heartshaped person is? A friend of yours? They seem to be very popular among other Dland users.
from dipso :
i hope i can control my dreams tonite...if i can sleep. all nice nice nice nice flying to africa dreams.
from dipso :
i dont think you couldve painted it on my face any better than you wrote it.
from dipso :
did you get an email from me? im not going to write them if youre not getting them. im just checking cause id like to write you another. i wish i had saved the last one i wrote but nope...no way. its fucking freezing rain outside. i smiled all nite at work. . . .
from shamsi9 :
i could fly in my nap-dream yesterday...
from heartshaped :
yr a doll. do you know how amazing it is to think that yr whole world has exploded. and then to realize that it hasn't. i'm still alive. and life.is.so.pretty.
from sirenslave :
........yes, well... so are you. sooo are you. siren.
from whitepills :
Well will you talk about the shittiest timing and the worst coincidence ever? All that coupled with the horrible fact that we haven't spoken in forever. Can you eve n believe that perfect, though unfortunate, a lining of the planets?
from dipso :
should my phone # be here? thats not dangerous is it?
from dipso :
hello heartracer i hope all is well i hope its not all getting to you like im letting it i drank to black out level sunday im obviously unhappy and am trying to shut it all down. oh boy for self-medication. youre quite possibly the best thing about this whole diaryland shit. i used to look forward to seeing how my entries read after being typed...now im sick to hell with all of that. now it seems like i write just for the excuse to read what youve written. pretend like i know you and shit. relate a little bit. so happy happy... or well... live live... i feel hung up on some chick here that i know... its no good. not meant to be. shes great... just not right. i never know what to fucking write on these stupid notes page. my phone #'s 502 894 0954 ....there, now you can call. easy. simple. expensive.
from whitepills :
message received......loud and clear
from whitepills :
To quote you decently "Heatracer, you asshole....." am I ever going to get to talk to you again? I miss you mucho. And I still need to send your gift. It's been over a month.
from heartshaped :
you deserve everything in the world. <3
from raw-hate :
i made a mistake actually its not the next or previous buttons its my older entries pages and my mail, you cant send mail to me through my diary, and my old entries are still showing up like my old layout instead of my new one.
from raw-hate :
i was wondering if you could help me with my new layout i need to know how to fix the next and previous buttons, they dont seem to be working
from shamsi9 :
baby girl.
from heartshaped :
i think i'll do that. sometimes i just lose feeling.
from aquietboy :
counting crows are something completely special live. i couldn't agree more. and when i read your description of the show you went to, i reminded myself to spend more time around people with the kind of passion inside them that you have.
from shamsi9 :
keep on a rockin me babay
from shamsi9 :
i haven't seen a great club show in a bit now. mike doughty at joe's pub a few months back...it is indescribable.
from heartshaped :
i don't know what to do anymore.
from raven72d :
Thanks muchly... I'll look forward to the letter...and to learning clever things in Afrikaans.
from dipso :
HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO DID YOU HEAR ME?
from heartshaped :
it doesn't get much better than this. yr beautiful. xo.
from raven72d :
The red skirt, the black shirt, the curve of red lips... I wish I could see you on a dance floor... Happy V-Day, darling.
from shamsi9 :
i love the way you write.
from girl101 :
&.girl. i/m here in a new city, i look out the window and the lights are different and so, i send you the snow outside & the change of view & everythingeverything//// ♥, xo.
from dipso :
good morning. you write. nice to think about. you dance.good morning. got a hair-cut. look like im eight. good nite. with wish kiss.
from raven72d :
It means a lot, darling... As do you. Write soon...
from snotgirl :
i can't begin to articulate what that note meant to me. allow me to gather my thoughts, so i can respond accordingly.
from raven72d :
I miss hearing from you...I always miss your words...
from shamsi9 :
boys are bad. run away. need addy to send things...painfully fascinating.
from xpaperdoll :
u r lovely & must be linked
from snotgirl :
dear sister to the other side of the bust. i have no words left. send some my way? love you. xoxo.
from tithonus :
Thanks for your kind words. :) I'm enjoying reading your diary very much. :)
from trashpunk :
yesterday was... not very nice.. a mental hangover from drug abuse. and happy music usually helps just a little.
from dipso :
...no time to write... im at work and thinking
from raven72d :
I hope summer enfolds your limbs with warmth and the fluid rush of being loved.
from trashpunk :
I'm glad you do.
from dipso :
hopefully ill add more monday. need a hair cut. wish i had your phone number. wish you lived next door. i am not blessed with a home computer. ahhh, the limitations of poverty. send me everything you have. all of it. i want to read your mind...or taste it...or simply fascinate inside your feeling. ok...oh well. bye now. youre bored. bye
from dipso :
well then, you seem to have a way of giving a forcast which most likely will keep me up tonite. thats the way to write a dream.
from raven72d :
Listen to the Stabilizers sing "If I Found Rome"...and to Marianne Faithfull sing "Falling From Grace"...
from shamsi9 :
sugar in the morning, etc, ad nauseum.
from dipso :
did you really like that one? i thought it might just be too sappy. whats the weather like there? snow here.
from girl101 :
lovelovelove. sending music notes across the wires&waves, makes me smile just the same ("good times" we laugh and say.) ♥ you chereegirl///<3 .yr. katie
from shamsi9 :
i'm over the new guy i thought i liked. he wouldn't give me goofiness, a prerequisite. glad you are being sent free music, this is God's Plan.
from dipso :
you must be the most super fucking dooper pooper in this world... just thought id tell you this. dirty compliments.
from shamsi9 :
hope what i just wrote didn't save...saw the boy i like/love tonight, i would have his baby...it's all in the nose, right? i know...he is really smart but i messed up....write me email?
from dipso :
im glad i can do things for other people that i cant do for myself...it gives a little sense of value toward my life. so,racer, who are these people youre writing about in your diary? forgive me for being intrusive, but i was just wondering...for instance, sometimes i make up people, or i paint people i already know into a more familar light. alot of its true...but i do tend to arrange things in order to fit my "emotional" needs. i take that back...i rarely make anyone up...but i will for sarcasms sake. just throwing that out there. constantly awaiting your messages...
from shamsi9 :
i wish that were written to me from *him* that's the highest praise i have to give
from aquietboy :
i could stay here a while.
from jdm5k :
oh, i'm sure i will, my sister's just annoying me right now. you can log in right? if you can't let me know. or, actually, just use the user name jodie and the password jodie also. thanks for asking. you're so nice.
from raven72d :
The 03 February entry...lovely.
from euphorically :
do you want to chat?
from shamsi9 :
so amazingly beautiful. thank you for that.
from raven72d :
I'm always there if you're crying... And you make me think of an old Stabilizers song-- "If I Found Rome"...
from dipso :
not to be so down
from shamsi9 :
great entry. clearly i have missed some chapters...i've missed you too.
from raw-hate :
sounds great=) xoxox
from raw-hate :
hehe, thanks babe. Do you have msn?
from raw-hate :
oh and i have one more question how do i get the notes link to work?
from raw-hate :
Thanks a lot hunn and dont worry about the aim i dont have it anyways, lol
from raw-hate :
hey hunn i'm stuck again with another template and i was wondering you could help me out again
from raven72d :
"Whispers at the bus stop..." I love that song...
from trashpunk :
Thank you for the nice words (both of them). I wish you all the best.
from frisbee01 :
ok, ive left you 3 messages so far, but those were drunk ass messages, and this one is too. but i have read from your first entry to nov 12th. honey. im a little intoxicated, and dont comprehend all that you are saying, but i wanna talk toyou, you have a way of expressing yourself, and its awesome. ive got you on my buddy list, so if you get a random im, its me. just to let you know. ill try to get up to date, but, damn. i dunno what to say. you are so cool...i see why justin reads you. very good. very true. very honest.
from frisbee01 :
ok, i was gonna totally copy and paste those lyrics to you, but that would totally be really weird...cause..um yea...but thats what im jammin to right now....look up these words, better yet, download this song, mest: hotel room. yea, once you hear the words. you'll know why its weird...but im totally jammin to it right now...im so drunk...dont mind me...ok i feel like an ass!! hhaahhaahhhahah
from frisbee01 :
do you think you know the way i feel...hold on i gotta look up the rest of the lyrics...b/c i can type that fast...hehe...
from frisbee01 :
ok dude, you have a shit load of notes....i wanted to go through and make sure i didnt make this comment...which i will get to, b/c im workin on my sixth tall boy...which i prolly wont finish...but,...dude i was readin your comment about me, and im not THAT cool. but i thank you....hmm...now its off to read your diary. this is not the most exciting note.. im drunk...:) dude i think im gonna sing to you...hold on...next note!!!
from whitepills :
:)
from raven72d :
champagne and survival... great title for a book... champagne and a sky full of aeroplanes against the grey...lovely.
from dipso :
dont be so restless...sleep well
from tithonus :
probably best to just imagine, then. ;)
from dipso :
coming back and back is rather on turning
from dipso :
no shit? s.a....thats fucked up. all this time i just thought you lived in nebraska or something. christ its amazing what the internet can provide. well, if you ever want to move to louisville, i can show you some interesting places...nothing much in the way of beautiful. if i,which is almost likely, ever come into some heavy money...ill have to for ceertain visit. what the hell is your life like? forgive my ignorance...but i am truely curious as to life in your region.well...perhaps ill email you with all of my insane wonders...later heartracer
from heartshaped :
not for long. <3
from dipso :
where are you from? i am starting a painting tonite...best news for me all week
from dipso :
use "heartracer"...passwordisoneword...
from whitepills :
You're a star in my night sky. To brighten my way.
from girl101 :
girl, it.s just////. beautifulasusual ♥
from girl101 :
<3! i lovelovelove being able to read your words absolutely properly and wow. what a difference.
from snotgirl :
i miss you as well. <3. xoxo.
from raven72d :
I'll always believe in you. I'm a perceptive and loyal little hedgehog.
from dipso :
diaryland erased my profile and wont let me create another...balls to this shit
from dipso :
i AM amazing to touch...howd you know?
from tithonus :
To me? Um, are you on dland chat? I'll go there now...
from heartracer :
ahh, i do find myself understanding *just* what you mean without being able to say it myself. i want to talk to you.
from tithonus :
Good answer. :) I guess though, part of what I was getting at with that question is, I don't know, something to do with responsibility and blame and relations... because if you make it so that a broken relationship is your fault, or is the result of the kind of person you are, then you're not acknowledging that relations are somehow... I don't know quite how to put it. The space between two people is a part of who they are, who they are to each other... I don't know, it's kind of like by setting the reality of your situation against an imaginary girl who is so extraordinary she can't be dismissed, can't be cast aside... you deny the reality of your own extraordinariness but also the role played by the other person in the change in the relationship. Bah, I'll never explain what I mean to my own satisfaction... :|
from raven72d :
wuff! i'll be so looking forward to things...
from raven72d :
Believe in your own strength, and know that new geography *is* a curative. You that you're cared for vur' much and that I for one believe in you.
from tithonus :
"have i become that girl again, the one that can so easily be cast aside?" When I read this a question came to me, um, which is, what kind of girl would you be if you *couldn't* be cast aside?
from tithonus :
Thankyou so much, you're very kind. :) Um, I'm having a little trouble navigating your diary atm, but once I figure it out I will be sure to give it a good read. If euphorically likes it it must be good. :)
from heartracer :
and i think YOU nailed my heart, you're god with a hammer, dipso.
from dipso :
youve taken over my dreams
from dipso :
i think you nailed your last entry. i was quite impressed. (bed)
from raven72d :
Write and let me know how you're doing and what's happened...
from dipso :
happy birthday? are you home yet?
from girl101 :
just the thought//// ilovehearingaboutyourmemories.
from euphorically :
are you there to chat at all?
from raven72d :
Happy Birthday, darling!
from nakedembrace :
oh! happy birthday beautybabe. x-xxx-x-x-oooo--oo-oo.
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're back. I was worried about you! What's been happening?
from monday-night :
expectation kills me everytime, too. [hugs, dear]
from jozkajozka :
its your day!!! Happy day to you. oh yes. Raise some hell, kick some ass, and treat yourself real good. hugs
from monday-night :
birthdays are overrated. celebrate all the other days, like a lewis carroll holiday.
from euphorically :
its the 16th here, and i probably won't be online tomorrow, so i wanted to say happy 19th birthday. you are the beautifulest, and i love you.
from heartshaped :
we need to have a nice little chat. you are the prettiest. <3
from dipso :
sorry i fucked up yur notes page
from dipso :
barnfly barnfly i want to be a barn fly milking at the nipples tit..not the average whore.fuck my ears hurt. i am lonely...kinda. but ill storm again. ill quit these games and wreck myself with noise one day again. barn fly born fly.born.fly.simple.
from dipso :
heartracer you are my goddess my feeling when i dont feel like feeling
from shamsi9 :
you are too too sweet. i bet i'd like yr world. idealism yum.
from whitepills :
I miss you. You're Diary doesn't look happy. Is something wrong? Hopefully I'll be able to get on on a regular basis soon. I need to talk to you!
from raven72d :
What's happened?
from raven72d :
Everyone loves Pikachu. And the Psyduck.
from rockmyheart :
i was visiting your diary (which i like muchly, by the way) either earlier today or more likely yesterday, and i was quite proud to be your 1000th hit. accidents are usually promoted to accomplishments in my world. ♥ amy
from raven72d :
A vur' lovely memory about your childhood... You write so well...
from jozkajozka :
Africa... that Toto song still drudges up a little tear to my eye. its a great song.
from raven72d :
Wuff! is the Official Small Beagle Noise, shared also by hedgehogs, long-haired dachshunds, and Small Messenger Capybaras.
from whitepills :
Hello! Disaster floods my apartment. It looks like a tornado. I'm moving. I won't be able to speak with you for a few days. Stay wonderful. I miss your happiness. Jess will be with me the next time I'm able to get on. How cool is that?!?! And just think, You'll be with your boy soon too. Happiness all around. Love, Me
from shamsi9 :
beautiful
from raven72d :
Wuff! Thank you!
from girl101 :
................♥................
from dipso :
wow...you are awake...this is unique. ive yet to find another living soul while beating my way through this computer at night. i also rarely get such friendly emails. thank you for the thought. so well??.... i dont know (still) what to do bye
from dipso :
your profiles amazing.i mustve added you or your email provider to my blocked list.i am at constant battle w/spam.i dont know what to do
from euphorically :
would you like to chat on diaryland?
from shamsi9 :
wait, i'm sorry, who's tyler. and is the ex the same guy you were recently in love with or is that your current boyfriend--have i missed a lot? very happy to hear that about yr dad.
from tba :
long distance hugs aren't the best, but i hope they'll suffice. [wish i could give real ones] xo.
from raven72d :
A belated joyeux Noel, darling... I hope everything goes so well for you in '03!
from snotgirl :
i bask in the warmth of yr heart. xoxo.
from raw-hate :
Thank you soooo much!!! You dont understand how sad i was that i might have lost all my old entries. I love you and thank you so much*kisses* oh yes and could you erase the note where i say the password for my diary. Thanks hunn. Love you so much
from raw-hate :
the guestbook works hunn
from raw-hate :
and i just realized that the previous button only goes back one entry then stops
from raw-hate :
okay thanks a lot for helping me out so much, no the guestbook isnt working yet
from raw-hate :
the current and previous ones work, but the older entries wont show up
from raw-hate :
I cant get my guestbook to work, or my previous and new buttons to work, and all my older entries have disappeared
from raw-hate :
I'M STUCK!!!!!!!Can you help me love, i screwed up my diary and i dont know how to fix it, i was hoping you could help me. Love, me xoxox
from whitepills :
Crap, I missed you by minutes. My love goes out to you this Christmas. Tomorrow at dinner, you'll be included in my toast to new found friends. Be safe!
from raven72d :
It is easy to have a mind so crystal-clear at 03h00... I know you'll miss your kitties, and it's hard to leave. But do go off and find your heart and your life.
from whitepills :
Hello my dear, I am so VERY happy to hear that things are wonderful. I was getting a little worried myself (even through all those "I'm sure everything is okay"'s I gave you). I am so excited for you two to be "joined". And if it's a little selfish on my part, I'm excited for you to be here so I can have my hug. I can't wait. I know things will be hard to leave behind. I couldn't take the leap that you are. You've an infintessimal amount of courage and strenth. Your Goddess shines in you. Man, that sounded deep. I should be a poet or something. :)
from shamsi9 :
i heart the wee hours
from raven72d :
Oh, wuff! Many thanks, lovely one!
from jozkajozka :
awww. thanks. you're much deserving of the same.
from snotgirl :
yea. well. today was fucking crazy. this last week and a half have been hectic. and i need a nap. i love you boundlessly. xoxo.
from raven72d :
Joyeux Noel, Cheree... And I'll look forward to leaning Afrikaans from you!
from raven72d :
I hope you can find affection and caring and loyalty and love-- I hope that hate doesn't poison your ties to family and friends...
from raven72d :
"hate-bottomed bones"... tell me more about that image...
from shamsi9 :
yup
from dipso :
by the way,dont be offended by the entry if you read it.it was never planned to be read...note sarcasm within
from dipso :
hello.i live in louisville at present moment.that is east coast time.my email address is buried in my diary if you ever have some urge to write a little letter.its under the older entries of i hate myself and want to die.pretty uplifting huh?but i dont own a computer.so i have to make due through friends and labs.i hate labs therefore spend as little time in them as possible. i am in a lab right now.theyre not so bad at 450 am though.still,theyre no good.i am really not too interesting though.but i do have my moments.take care.
from whitepills :
Hi. Wanted to check on you. I hope everything is wonderful. Have you talked to him yet? I won't read this until my Monday, so stay safe until then....Well, stay safe after that too. Point is, I love you. Can't wait to "hear" your words again!
from shamsi9 :
o, for the days of the un-cracked smile i think i was born with mine cracked
from frisbee01 :
alright, i actually have time to read your entries, and your page is really funny on my comp. it goes downin a diagonal, rather than up and down, and i cant find anything for previous entries and what not...maybe im just having a retard moment...but im having a little of difficulties...
from euphorically :
i want you to remember i am here if ever you need me, and if i ever say the wrong things, i am truly sorry. i love you, and i know you are strength personified. <3
from raven72d :
Hang on to your ability to smile...
from raven72d :
I'm glad to hear from you again... Write and tell me what happened...
from frisbee01 :
well, i dont know if your page is covered in shit, i havent gotten a chance to read any of your entries...but im sure you can wipe it off with some toilet paper...oh man that was horrible. (ok quick pause...i just heard a weird noise...freaked out a little) hmmm....ok but anyway...saw what you wrote in your favorites...im glad to know that im cool, i was just explaining to twnkleeyz4 why im so cool. :) hehe. but anyway...ill be sure to check out your diaries soon. im sure they are good!
from dipso :
helloits3:11
from dipso :
hello...i would love to speak with you...but i must go to work now...tracy chapman is a fucking underated god...no wait...i meant vodka is a god...sorry
from shamsi9 :
my leetole sweet peach
from frisbee01 :
hola, i was copied and pasted the conversation between you and justin. thank you sooo much!! sorry they are a little confusing. my brain kinda just takes a dump onto the page. sometimes its diarrhea onto the page...ewww..dont picture that. Ha! but thanks again! i was complaining to justin how my diary was complete nothing, and just rambles. i'm glad that someone enjoys it.
from whitepills :
Hey, what happened? I get worried when I read about friends in hospitals. You have to warn people if you're gonna get hurt or sick. That way we can come help you out. Sure, you're far way and all, but I'm sure some of us can pack ourselves into boxes and be shipped out to you. Feel better!
from raven72d :
Hey-- feel better! Do well... Write soon!
from shamsi9 :
you feel better soon. i will try to open my mind more--makin deals with god...hehe
from snotgirl :
it's my turn to be drunk and sentimental. when you have a scrape on yr knee, i feel the sting. i love you with the very essence of my being. xoxo.
from euphorically :
is everything okay? i would really love to hear from you, and for you to tell me it is okay. i love you too, and thank you so much for your amazing words. you are a goddess.
from whitepills :
Dammit, Jess isn't on, you're not on. No one to keep me company. Fudgecicles. I'll have to settle for someone less cool. Hope everything's going well. Time differences suck.
from whitepills :
No luck on the house. No fretting here. It ain't over til the fat lady sings. And Justin hasn't started sing yet. Man, if he knew I was calling him a fat woman he would laugh.
from snotgirl :
i don't know what long distance runs there, but i'll give you my phone number anyhow. 727.434.0496 that's gonna change soon cos i'll get a brooklyn number and turn in my florida cell phone. i'll write back many words. xoxoxox. take care, angel.
from raw-hate :
aww thats sweet hunn. I can give you my address if you'd like, just let me know. xoxox
from snotgirl :
apt 605. 200 tillary st apt 605 brooklyn ny 11201. anguish and sadness grips my chest when i think of you unhappy. maybe...maybe...that's the bust. xoxoxo.
from shamsi9 :
yes. you appreciate. this is perfection.
from snotgirl :
yous my sista angel with gleaming eyes and a grand vocabulary.
from snotgirl :
my heart loves you from so far away. i'm too drunk to appreciate the warmth you are. i love you liek fire in my soul.
from tba :
drinking oj & reading your words from last month. two words come to mind: stark & gorgeous.
from shamsi9 :
that is so fucking cool
from raven72d :
Got your e-mail and just replied to it...
from snotgirl :
yr words eat my heart. sometimes it's like a kiss and i feel all warm. we must lose ourselves in words and be thesauruses for each other. i love you like nothing else. <3. xoxo.
from raven72d :
I'll be looking forward to it, girl!
from raven72d :
I'm glad the fear is something you can fight off and that you're making your way through the dust. You are a vur' good writer...
from raven72d :
I do envy you being able to treat the past as dust. It always lives on for me... But the "touch" entry-- that one made me fight back tears. It hit a very raw nerve.
from raven72d :
Cabaret Voltaire... really great 80s art/performance band. They had one semi-hit with "Code"... But they could do both vur' strange art music and some vur' good synth-dance. Their "Don't Argue" was a great song/video. Run their name on Google and see what you find. I always have a taste for obscure things, and occasionally I can be a decent reference source. Write soon-- send an e-mail [[email protected]] and tell me about life.
from raven72d :
"drinking gasoline" always reminds me of the album by Cabaret Voltaire, one of the great art/performance bands of the '80s...
from dipso :
i dont know if ive written you before.im glad to read that youre a hunter thompson fan. i live in his home town...i got to see him speak at memorial auditorium when the city declared it hunter s thompson day...he writes about it in the preface for the long highway? vol. 1. or is it proud hiway? im not sure...i just wanted to write something somewhat interesting...so you wouldnt have to read..." hey really enjoyed your diary. youre so sweet" or "i really relate with you" i dunno...you probably get alot of that. regardless...really enjoyed your diary. good luck...stay interesting and interested
from snotgirl :
i'm here. i love you.
from shamsi9 :
yay
from shamsi9 :
nice
from raven72d :
I love the 4 December entry...
from snotgirl :
200 tillary st [i'll get back to you with the apartment number.] brooklyn, ny 11201. xoxoxo. i'll write back with poems on the back of a brown paper bag. i love you like mad.
from raven72d :
Thanks for the kind words... I hope that I can always have "heart"-- have kindness and affection and sympathy for people as kind as yourself...
from shamsi9 :
sounds like things are looking up from a downswing in the family life. right on.
from raven72d :
The 3 December entry is lovely...
from shamsi9 :
once again i am near-weep from the lovespell. you give me hope, babe
from tba :
supersweet. thank you bunches for the note.
from jozkajozka :
Hey hey. thank you for the kind note. it made my day. jozka
from snotgirl :
i feel as if i don't deserve yr compliments, but maybe i should work on that self-esteem thing that tries to kill me. i am so excited and so scared. it's a door opening with a bit of a wind chill, and i'm not so scared to rush into the wind. you know...you rock my core. i love you like crazy. xoxo.
from raven72d :
The Monday entry with the description of skies and rain...beautiful indeed.
from whitepills :
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to interpret that. I guess the most logical question I can pose is, how do you feel about arena rock?
from radioalex :
hey, thanks for listing me as a favorite diary. it really makes my day when people appriciate and understand my thoughts. ~alex
from euphorically :
i hope everything is okay, sweetie.
from coma-white :
of course. i think that one of the best things you can do for anybody is hope, and i hope so for many people with all that i am.
from snotgirl :
//heartkisses through the busting out sisterhood.
from raven72d :
We all need a friend who's like that. Dogs and stufflings see to the inner core: they give their love and they're loyal.
from raven72d :
Tyler sounds like he was wonderful.
from snotgirl :
//i love you more than burroughs loved little boys, more than kerouac loved benzadrine, more than bukowski loved cheap port wine, and more than i love beer. yr the greatest sister to the bust. <3. xoxo.
from shamsi9 :
i leave notes for every entry, just so you know i came through. i'm happy for you. who's the dread by the text?
from raven72d :
Many, many thanks...
from shamsi9 :
i like it. is the olde one still buggin you? i will kick his ass on the cosmic plain!
from shamsi9 :
i'm having grapes *love*
from euphorically :
are you there? i got your message, and i can chat in diaryland now. are you okay sweetie?
from euphorically :
i am in the diaryland chat now, waiting for you!
from shamsi9 :
solid as usual. tears in my eyes.
from shamsi9 :
nice. you have the courage. you've done your time. you deserve the good karma, give in to it. give yourself permission to be ecstatic. i am for you.
from euphorically :
are you there? do you want to chat on diaryland?
from shamsi9 :
you're in the deadsweetheart of it. i envy you. i am happy for you. i hope it lasts forever.
from euphorically :
did you get my email? oh well, i am glad everything is going so well.
from shamsi9 :
i love to read you. thnx.
from silverfucker :
I like the way you write. It's beautiful. Jim Morrison was amazing...I'd read anything he ever wrote.
from raw-hate :
Thanks for adding me to your favorites. What you said about me means a lot. It made me smile.
from heartshaped :
this is beautiful. <3
from snotgirl :
i'm actually not too bad. alive. getting ready to move to nyc. thank god for that. i think justen will be okay. i love you like crazy.
from euphorically :
sweetie, please send me an email, i would really love to hear your words again and i am wonder why things did not work with brad. you shall heal again, my love.
from snotgirl :
i wrote for you in the diary. it's not much. but it's there. xoxoxo.
from snotgirl :
i love you. you're my sister to the bust. xoxo.
from redd :
girl alive
from kiddynamite1 :
e-mail me at [email protected] with your e-mail address, so i can send you a password
from snotgirl :
<333333. xoxoxox.
from euphorically :
i am on an outside computer now, and can chat somewhere!
from euphorically :
nup, it won't work, we could send emails? i really want to hear what happened.
from euphorically :
am trying to log in, its taking a long time to let me in, so they might have a bar on chat rooms!
from euphorically :
i sure am, but i am not sure how we can chat! i am on a university computer and it doesn't have any chat things like msn etc!
from euphorically :
so great to see you back, and revel in your words.

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