messages to hungryghost:
(click here to add new message):

from fifidellabon :
Well, what's the news, eh? Miss you! XOFifi
from fifidellabon :
I'd simply die if I lost touch with you! Congratulations on the pregnancy! I've done it once, so if you ever want to talk...XOFifi
from alienamiss :
Count me in.
from bibles :
I'm studying at Wake Forest in NC! I'm in my second year now.
from bibles :
That sounds really exciting! Which grad school are you studying in?
from bibles :
I just stumbled over your journal! What are you studying in grad school?
from teranika :
what a weird clown. I'm intrigued. why would he do weekend clowning? I thought that this particular science high school had pretty good salaries, which makes me wonder if he does it for fun? (oh, and I remember those dang weekend trips on the MTA lines that keep getting cut back. I lived in Queens. Just. shoot. me.)
from teranika :
ugh. academic abandonment issues. I feel for you greatly. I often felt that at least three-quarters of grad school was learning how to deal with adversity and still be able to move on constructively. It's a lot easier said than done.
from fifidellabon :
Oh, but you sound so veree busy! I could never manage to do half of the things that you do. Hang in, things will deffo get easier. I mean to say they have to, right? XOFifi
from enfinblue :
I can really relate to getting distracted by the various things that I could be doing. The only thing that has worked for me is to write down, first thing in the morning, what it is important to me to do in that day. By making a list and focusing my thoughts (and also writing a bit about what is distracting me), I'm able to give a bit more urgency to the things that I must get done. And of course, once you start going and get one or two things done, you get to lose that horrible anxiety that bubbles up later on in the day if you haven't started anything. Oh how I can relate to the struggle!
from fifidellabon :
I suspect that most people have time management baggage. I know that I deffo do. But you can train yourself to get up early even if it is one or two days a week. Stoopid Early is deffo paying off for me. XOFifi Pee Ess Really you sound a perfectly wonderful person!
from kayemess :
Wow, awesome news on the job! Good work. Man, I want to see the Runaways.
from enfinblue :
Congratulations on the job!
from enfinblue :
Do you know what I think? Cheeky me. Why does anyone care what I think? :) I think 1) that you should clap yourself on the back for accomplishing so much (I mean, you organized a series of events? Great!); and 2) the rest you need to give yourself doesn't have to be long. Even an hour here and there of something gentle will help. You're probably much more in control of things than you think you are. Lately, I've been practising "one thing at a time," and that sort of helps. Oh, what do I know? Have a great Saturday! I'm sure you'll figure it all out!
from fifidellabon :
Massive orgasm is always good! XOFifi
from fifidellabon :
Well, it sounds a productive day, though! I am in awe of your powers! XOFifi
from enfinblue :
Poor you! I know exactly how it feels to have no time and deadlines pressing in...one just wants to run in the other direction and do anything but that work. I hope you have a great week and still manage to enjoy yourself. Sorry to hear about your mom's depression. It's natural and understandable but never easy. Good luck with the show!
from enfinblue :
Hey - excellent stuff! I am glad you got in your run. Don't feel badly - I've been running for years and years and years and I haven't been running much lately for the same reasons. It's tough to dig out the motivation sometimes. Sometimes when you write things I think, "That's me talking!" ("I am ready to shoot everyone involved with this latest nightmarish freelance project in the face.") Poor you. I feel like this every day in dealing with one particular colleague. As for coming to New York...it will definitely happen this year. I realized that I can buy the flight on points and I even found one for the weekend of March 6 and was ready to book. I can't seem to commit to anything lately though. Not sure why. I will definitely be visiting at some point between March and July. I will let you know. Thanks for asking! :)
from enfinblue :
So funny - I was just on your website today, being impressed! I hope you got in your run.
from fifidellabon :
Whoooah! Coop meetings baaaad! Don't go there! I am sorry about the loose ends and things. I have always suspected that tears are a way of cleaning out free chemicals. I do hope that you feel well sooon. XOFifi
from enfinblue :
I have no constructive advice, but I hope everything continues to move in a positive direction. It's always a pain to be looking for full-time work. I've been there.
from enfinblue :
PS I was at the Am3rican econom!cs association meetings in Atlanta last week and had to tolerate arrogance and misery in the face of interactions with former colleagues...I really do understand how terrible the academic environment can be. You'd think I would have understood this in watching my aunts and uncles suffering as profs. They're all depressed. It's not good. And they have very weak social skills. Academe is an ugly world. Chin up and good luck with everything. I can't wait to follow your work!!
from enfinblue :
Ack! I'm so excited for you. That's great about the show! I just wrote a litany of comments to you in my comments section about how much I love your website. I'm so happy for you. I hope, on a personal level, that you are also feeling a bit more chipper. The Ph.D. thing as you well know I completely understand. I recognize now that it was during the period of abuse by my Ph.D. supervisor that I reached the lowest ebb of confidence in my entire life. And that is saying something. It was hell. I have many friends who would be able to commiserate. Don't, whatever you do, take it personally. You are clearly talented. Keep at it and forget about what others have to say about it. A huge hug!!!
from fifidellabon :
Mmm, hopes, yes I have them as well. Happy, happy New Year!!! XOFifi
from fifidellabon :
Ooooh, good luck with that! XOFifi
from fifidellabon :
AAHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I forgot to get your password!!!! Fifidellabon at the g mail place. Thank you! XOFifi Pee Ess I hope that you are keeping well.
from imladygalaxy :
ah, so *you're* the one who stole my name! my compliments ^_^
from moodswing :
in, in! isaidrenae at gmail
from harvestbird :
I would be glad to be included in your reading community: harvestbird at gmail dot com.
from robotheart :
me please. beckstar at distantbeat cee oh emm.
from kayemess :
shoot - glad to hear from you, and that you're still working on what you love. Did you move back to NYC after the job ended? Hope it's okay and you're surviving....
from arajane :
I'm so glad to read an update from you. I had been worried/wondering what's up. Sending you thoughts of loveliness and goodness and hoping all, including the opening, goes well.
from deez-nuts :
Your last entry was really beautiful. You don't know me, but I read your diary pretty regularly. I was really moved by the Socrates passage. I don't think I can offer you any comfort for your Dad's passing, but I do wish you well.
from kayemess :
I missed this while away but I'm sending you my good good thoughts. What a time you have been through...sorry girl
from gonzoprophet :
that passage brought satisfied tears to my eyes and such a thing seems note-worthy, despite my stranger status to you. the greeks were full of such trusting and beautiful logic...and coming from an individual calling herself hungry ghost, i think it holds a special poignancy.
from enfinblue :
I'm sorry, hungryghost. I feel for you for your profound loss. XO.
from harvestbird :
I'm sorry for your loss. The proverbs and noise around bereavement, however well meant, can be hard to bear. Having said that, a reading as well-chosen as your is all the riposte that's needed. I'll be thinking of you in the next while.
from jumblygiant :
my dad died after being ill for a long time and it was kind of a relief that he wasn't going through all of that anymore. it gets easier, but will always remain different. xo doll.
from arajane :
i am so sorry about your dad. your reading is very lovely. i hope you are well and taking care of yourself right now. xoxo
from rubyfoxx :
Oh, I'm so sorry. And you have my permission to slap whoever says "everything happens for a reason" to you.
from fifidellabon :
I'm so sorry. Your reading was beautiful. XOFifi
from bathtubmary :
thinking of you, sweetness. big hugs. xoxo, d
from rubyfoxx :
I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.
from seedpod :
god sending internet hugs is so 2002 but I wanted to send you one anyway *hugs* x x x x x
from fifidellabon :
Dude, what's going on? I've been thinking at you the past two days and wondering what's up? Hoping for the best.XOFifi
from enfinblue :
I read this a few days ago and yet couldn't leave a note. I'm thinking of you. I KNOW that things are going to turn around for you. You are so strong. You deserve so much. XO
from rubyfoxx :
Thinking of you, dear. I hope you get some kind of respite soon.
from fifidellabon :
Arrgh! I fervently hope that things improve for you. XOFifi
from enfinblue :
You're going to feel good again, my friend. For now, my thoughts are with you.
from boxx9000 :
so sorry about your Dad and your job. (((hugs)))
from enfinblue :
Yes, it IS usually frenchified here. Although I spelled it M__laine yesterday and not M_leine. I had forgotten. For some reason I thought it ended in the word for "wool." No idea why. I haven't heard the word semiotics in so long...Sigh. I hate being an economist. Hugs.
from fifidellabon :
Well, it's good that you and the boy are okay. Best wishes for your dad. I know how hard it must be. XOFifi
from enfinblue :
OK - obviously there was supposed to be punctuation there. Best wishes for your dad. xxxx
from enfinblue :
That must be so difficult. All I can say is that I care and wish you well. xxxxx. I just found a little Madeline piece that never was (the author was reworking it before his death). Hope you enjoy it:In an old house in Paris all covered with vines Lived twelve little girls in two straight lines the smartest one was Madeline no one was so quick at problems in Arithmetic Madeline knew the climate and location (and the populations) of all the world nations and every nations' population while the others were in anguish Madeline just played with language every medal and promotion did she earn unitl there was nothing more to learn one night she sat up in bed "girls", she said "I'm widely read--" over books I've pored and pored and with knowledge I am bored-- I'm bored with every sort of dictionary word in fact I'll be blamed if everything isn't wrongly named a cat--means nothing and this object which is called a bed shall be known as a dreambox instead let's play a game-- and give everything a name
from enfinblue :
Thanks! Oh lordy I would not wish my tendency for analysis on anyone! I do hope that people will give you the space and support that you need to get through this dreadful time (without an actual sign being necessary!). I am looking forward to meeting you this year!
from enfinblue :
YOu know, I thank you very much for sharing that article. I found as I was reading it that I was thinking about my own life - how these things happened to me, only earlier and more slowly. In some ways I think that that is better, but the outcome is roughly the same. It's why I'm terrible at intimacy. It's taken me nine years of building a friendship with my friend C. to even conceive of trusting someone again. Anyhow. I do not mean to write about me. I think what I mean to write is that the only thing I can offer is that there is hope. Hope grows very slowly, but gradually I do believe that you will feel better again. At least, I hope with all my heart that you do (and soon). PS I don't have an i-anything! I smiled to hear that there is an iperiod app!! :) Take care and a big hug. I am definitely going to take a trip to NYC this year and I hope that I will be able to drag you out to lunch with me.
from enfinblue :
That's horrible!!!!
from enfinblue :
Hey! It sounds like things are improving a little? Sorry to hear about the sniffles though.
from enfinblue :
I think when you're overwhelmed it helps to accomplish anything. After that you can bite of teeny tiny chunks of what it is important that you do. Good luck and don't fear - you'll get to it all. :)
from enfinblue :
Thanks for your note, my dear!! I hope that everything has resolved neatly re. the show! HUGS!
from seedpod :
hey there you! long time no note leaving.... well I'm thinking of you- thus why I made it here- I hope that you're weller than you were a few days ago- hope also that everything is okay- you know where to find me if you want to talk to someone about it. xxx
from enfinblue :
I hope that you feel well soon, as well. Also, I want to be yella, so I can be mella. :)
from fifidellabon :
Oooh, I hope that you feel better soon, and I hope that things are going more smoothly. XOFifi
from rubyfoxx :
Girl, sorry things are tough. I hope things turnaround soon. And that your therapist starts being helpful. Sometimes it takes a few visits. And it's always good to talk to someone.
from enfinblue :
I'm so relieved that you are getting help. You deserve all of the help that you need. No one could get through your situation alone. A big hug.
from enfinblue :
Thanks, Miss Ghost. Yes, I nearly lost my mind in the process. Really, I worry about so much of so little consequence. You are holding up so well! I don't know how you do it. Bundle up and drink lots of tea and get rid of that cold soon though!! Take care!
from enfinblue :
Dear hg: I really don't understand. You seem like a wonderful person to me. I really mean that. All that comes to mind for me is that people lash out when they are hurt or afraid. People are mean when they don't want to face grieving. In other words, they act in the complete opposite way to which they feel, because if they didn't they'd dissolve into a puddle. Life is so difficult right now for you. I am sorry. Oh and I am NOT very together. :) I just don't really have many problems at the moment. At the moment. Take care and a super-big hug. I wish I could take you out for a coffee to let you vent.
from harvestbird :
I am sorry that things are thus at the moment, and I'm thinking of you during these heart-grindingly difficult days.
from fifidellabon :
Wow, that is just horrible!!! I don't understand but I want you to know that I am listening. I wish that I could make things different for you. The lack of spousal support especially in the light of your father's situation is just something that I cannot understand. Life isn't always fun. XOXOFifi
from enfinblue :
Just like Fifi said, you are in my thoughts. This may sound like a silly suggestion, but do you think that trying some deep breathing and meditation might help you to turn off and relax yourself. I always want to sleep at the end of a yoga class. Alternatively, could you go out and run as hard as possible? I know that your situation is really serious and that these suggestions sound kind of weak...Take care. A big hug.
from fifidellabon :
I'm so sorry. It sounds so awful. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing all sorts of good things to you! XOFifi
from kayemess :
I have to say it again - you are awesome!
from kayemess :
with all that is on your plate, I am humbled and thrilled that you made such a helpful, linky-linked post. You are awesome! Thank you.
from bathtubmary :
i'm no good at knowing the right words, but anyway i want you to know that i'm thinking of you, and that it really, really, really won't be like this forever. really really. i'm not psychic, i just believe in you and in cycles. xoxoxo, d
from fifidellabon :
I am so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am wishing the best to you. XOFifi
from enfinblue :
I'm so sorry that you feel so unhappy. I don't know why but I think you're going to solve all of these problems. You seem extraordinarily strong to me.
from robotheart :
i, for one, do NOT have those kinds of parents...neither of them are anywhere remotely near that kind of parent...so i feel for you.
from kayemess :
like you have one second to think about it but I'm visiting Philly over the T-Giving days and figure you know the bestest food and beer and art options. Any chance of a few recommendations? Maybe in a post?
from bathtubmary :
i never even knew of the true blood books until i watched the show. i don't think they're ya, however, i imagine they are quite popular with the teenage set who enjoys sublimating sexuality with bloodsucking. xoxo, d
from fifidellabon :
I can't believe that I just typed an entire note to you without looking up at the screen and -- surprise -- it wasn't there! I was just saying that sometimes you just really have to do all the little things that have been bothering you before getting to what is supposed to be important. I like the "drink some whiskey" option! XOFifi
from enfinblue :
I'm so sorry to hear this. I hadn't thought of it that way, but maybe that's what I'm realizing, too - that everything comes with conditions. There are very few people in my life whom I trust 100%. What a sad realization. I wish I could help you in some way, but I don't even know what advice to give. The taking things one thing at a time, focusing on what matters the most sounds like a good strategy to me, but I don't know what works. And I hear you about those horrible nights on which you get dragged into spending money on some social thing that isn't even fun! Yes, I was really, really hoping to come to NYC. I was going to hop on a plane yesterday, in fact, but when I contacted A. in NY it turned out that his parents are visiting for a week and a half. And flights for Hallowe'en weekend, which he suggested, are $500! Too much. I would like to come there quite soon, actually. This weekend would have been perfect. Hopefully another moment will arise. Sometimes I think it is critically important to get out of one's environment...Anyhow, more importantly, I hope that you find some peace and a plan that works for you...soon.
from fifidellabon :
What Bluey said. Also "McSame and Pain"! HAH! You are brilliant! XOFifi
from bathtubmary :
happy anniversary, fellow fall bride. mike and i celebrate our 10th on saturday. where does the time go? big hugs to you in this season of tumult. xoxox, d
from enfinblue :
I know what you mean about indecision, but more importantly how are YOU? I am so sorry that you are feeling such anxiety. All I can say is that you seem to me to be a WONDERFUL and talented and sensitive person. It is horrible that your dad is ill and that you are experiencing such immense stress. There is nothing wrong with you socially, I am sure. Everyone is socially awkward, if you think about it. There are all sorts of people who think that they "get it," and they mostly do, only they mostly "get it" with people just like themselves. There are all sorts of layers of social interaction; no one gets them all. It is amazing that you have held yourself together as well as you have done. I wish I lived in NY or Philly. I would love to know you in person. Lots of hugs and wishes of strength.
from fifidellabon :
It's probably because you are putting so much stuff into your head. It is so hard to remember everything in these cruise-azy days. Here's hoping that things get better. XOFifi
from seedpod :
man- angry people make me angry!!! well she's the one who looks ridiculously stupid at least. not cool losing your cool- and you kept it together. hope you slept well. xxx
from enfinblue :
But your cornbread is probably very yummy! :) I must say though that I ate a chunk of the sweet potato stuff for breakfast this morning and it held me through the morning. Plus I could eat it on my way to work as it doesn't fall apart very easily. :)
from fifidellabon :
Bah to the batshit one! Everybody eventually gets theirs. Sometimes it takes an awfy long time, though. Congratulations on the success! Well done! XOFifi
from enfinblue :
Congratulations on your success! I'm sorry about the batshit woman though. Hopefully you can just concentrate on what you know to be true. Go you! I hope you celebrate this wonderful achievement! :)
from enfinblue :
Thanks for the advice re. the coffee. It's soooo difficult - coffee is one of the things that I look forward to at work - but I'm going to try quitting! The best of luck tonight, huh? I'm so sorry to think of your emotional stress, but I hope that tonight is pure joy to alleviate that.
from fifidellabon :
I like it! Pee Ess I could actually sneak in to your opening, couldn't I! xoFifi
from enfinblue :
I'm sorry that I missed your last two entries. It was kind of you to note mine. (I feel so guilty for feeling sorry for myself. You are correct that a change of workplace is in order.) Good luck with the opening! Was it today? Am I confused?
from enfinblue :
I'm so glad to hear that your bike and a new friend are lifting your spirits!
from harvestbird :
My less-than-whimsical opinion is that we are exhorted to hold it together far too much. If life is full of stress and painful difficulty, why not fray around the edges? It's as much a sign of what loved ones and circumstances mean to you as resolutely carrying on.
from enfinblue :
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I wish I could help in some way.
from seedpod :
who's the new girl? what does that mean? why am I not more up to date of the things happening in your life? tssk tssk at me. I hope you're well bella- thinkin of you.
from seedpod :
ghosty I feels for ya I really do. just remember- song dance art love- makes you a better daughter and partner too. xxx
from fifidellabon :
I hear ya, Sistah! I wish you peace. XOFifi
from boxx9000 :
I once had to write a college level paper on diatoms, they are quite beautiful when magnified.
from enfinblue :
I'm so sorry for you over this. My friend Claus had bedbugs in his apartment in Montreal a number of years ago. He's a very uptight sort of fellow so it completely broke him. They came from the apartment above him, in the building in which we both had lived for a while. We actually hauled all of his belongings to a place where they shut it all up in a container and fumigated the lot for a few days. It was a pain. I'm quite confident though that given the brevity of the time that you were where you were everything will be fine for you from here. Try to relax a little bit, if you can.
from enfinblue :
Oh my goodness. Well I'm glad at least that you've had a small ray of sunshine in your life lately. The biking skirt is Sug0i. It really is great. As I've said I initially was skeptical and even, dare I say it, embarrassed by it, but it really is the greatest invention. :)
from harvestbird :
I've been thinking about how to phrase my sad wishes since your dad got his unideal diagnosis, and now I have it. I'm sorry that he's reading The Secret, and I hope this will be the greatest of your concerns in the coming weeks.
from fifidellabon :
I'm really sorry about all the bad news. I still have not accepted my parents' mortality. hee! I almost wrote "immortality"! Well, do your best and take care of yourself as well. XOFifi.
from enfinblue :
I'm going to stay positive for you - I think that this is good news.
from enfinblue :
Oh my dear I am glad that you have a home now, but I would bargain something away so that you could have your dad well again, too. I've been on a bike during a thunderstorm, which I didn't like one bit. I haven't yet experienced hail.
from fifidellabon :
Oh, Miss Ghost, my heart is breaking for you. I wish that I had a better relationship with my father. It would be worth thr pain of losing him. I think. Well, I never even thoght of someone being out riding in the hail. Did it hurt? XOFifi
from enfinblue :
I'm so, so sad for you, my friend. I wish you all the strength in the world at your fingertips. Hugs.
from robotheart :
sweet darling, i am so sorry. im happy you can be there w/ him and i pray for a miracle.
from kayemess :
I'm really sorry to hear that. Spending time together is really really the best thing so I'm glad you're there...
from bathtubmary :
very sorry, doll. i'm thinking of you. xoxox, d
from tcklyrpharsn :
I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.
from fifidellabon :
Oh, my poor dear Miss Ghost, I am so very, very sorry. I wish that there were something that I could do to help. It is so sad. XOFifi Pee Ess I know that you know this, but try not to neglect yourself. I think that you will need strength.
from boxx9000 :
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear the news re: your Dad. My sister-in-law beat lymphoma, it can be done. think positive. ((((hugs))))
from bantenhut :
Oh my gosh. I'm sorry, I had to stop reading and go to the very end. I hope everything works out for you, and that you get reimbursed all that's due! That's awful. :0
from fifidellabon :
That is one of my biggest freakout fears!!!! Oh, that is just terrible! XOFifi
from robotheart :
ewww. what a total shitstorm. i truly hope you're able to recoup your investment.
from stepfordtart :
Yuk. Thats not good. Not good at all. Hope things get sorted for you soon. s x
from enfinblue :
Yes, I agree about the modern medicine thing. There is lots that they can do. Hope you had your run or found some other way to find a bit of peace. Thinking of you.
from bathtubmary :
i'm very sad to hear about your father, honey. big hugs, and big ups to modern medicine - let's hope they caught it good and early. xoxo, d
from rubyfoxx :
I am so sorry. For what it's worth, I also know a couple of people who survived lung cancer, and these people were also non-smokers, so there may be some correlation there. At any rate, I'm thinking of you.
from harvestbird :
I'm so sorry to hear your dad's news. I've seen family and friends diagnosed with the same illness, and have many more years of activity and not too much discomfort. I hope this will be the outcome for your father.
from gretl :
Eeesh, so sorry to hear it. Sending positive energy to the universe for you. xo.
from enfinblue :
I, too, am so so sorry for your sad news. Wishing and praying for the best for your dad. xo
from boxx9000 :
sorry to hear about your Dad, hopefully they caught it early? My Dad had liver cancer and he had never drank a drop of alcohol in his whole life.
from fifidellabon :
My dear Miss Ghost, I am so sorry for your sad news. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. XOFifi
from enfinblue :
Oh poor you! That's a horrible feeling. Hoping the cranberry works quickly. I also send all the best thoughts for your dad. Thanks for the movie title - I'd completely forgotten.
from enfinblue :
Sooo sorry about your migraine. You were making me hungry with the food talk though - and I have the same sense with that broth usually. Hmm...I wish I even knew what film you were referring to...but I live in a backwater at the moment. I'm going to google..
from kayemess :
I love love love Fatih Akin - so jealous you saw the new one. And Philly sounds like my kind of town, I need to check it out
from fifidellabon :
Philly can be pretty awesome, ain't? XOFifi
from enfinblue :
Hey that's wonderful!
from enfinblue :
I completely understand. I feel the same way.
from fifidellabon :
Ah, WFMU! That is always good when we drive through the area...one can never really know what they'll play! Yay! xoFifi
from enfinblue :
I hope so, too! :) It's a small thing, but really it makes me so mad when people are like this. I had forgotten that you get migraines, too. Oy. Terrible things. Fortunately I haven't had one in a while.
from enfinblue :
Oops that's funny. I just capitalized Finance. It's all very funny because, honestly, this is the ministry in which I...pretend to analyze stuff. :)
from enfinblue :
This is great! Congrats on the gym thing. And thanks for your comment - I'm feeling more confident and enthusiastic again today, but, frankly, I'm not a very mobile economist. :) I always do things the hard way, I'm afraid. When I was doing my not-to-be dissertation I switched from applied econometrics into economic history. Yeah. Very practical, I know. This is why I am now a labour/tax economist. I wish I were a financial analyst or something, but then that would involve...knowing something about Finance. Frankly, studying finance was always like eating nails for me...I'd just kind of...tune out. :)
from fifidellabon :
Oh, my, colour theory in art, I never knew it existed. I love so much how many new things I learn from your diary! I never knew that art was so complicted. There is a studio just up the street from us and the artist paints her emotions. I didn't really understand until I went to her website where she explained. XOFifi
from enfinblue :
Good stuff! Just don't go over the handlebars as I did. :) It's true - socializing is good for one!
from boxx9000 :
I like your template and all those boXxes!
from fifidellabon :
Oh, that totally sucks about the restaurant. I know how difficult it is, and to maintain for eight years is mega-awesome. Still, I am deffo sorry for the loss. But I'll bet that you look adorable in your new shorter hair. Metrosexual French boy indeed! Hee! XOFifi
from enfinblue :
That's really, really sad. (About the restaurant, not the hair - love short hair. :)) But as you say, I'm sure that they'll do something great again soon.
from enfinblue :
YOu know, the day that you had is my favourite kind of day. It's exactly what I do when I travel, in lieu of working out, per se. This recent trip was exceptional in that I biked, but otherwise I did nothing. And I ate lots of chocolate. What you did today to me sounds quite nourishing and nice. :)
from enfinblue :
That's very cool. :) "No drawings of cats." Ha. You know, I have tons of drawings of cats from the art classes that I took...when I was ten. :)
from enfinblue :
You have NOOO idea how delightful I find you to be. I mean, you're like my more truthful self. And it's good to have an admin-hating support group. Your weekend sounds so great. Especially the vintage finds, I must say. I have two clutches from the 50s and 60s that people are always drooling over when I wear them out. They actually were my mother's when she was a teenager. They are fantastic. I will always hold on to them.
from fifidellabon :
...if you gave yourself a break. You are doing SO very much, much more that I ever would or could. You probably sound brilliant, but as you are in the inside, you can't hear it. Plus, we are trained to be so self critical. So things most likely feel different from how they are, but still, if you feel it, then you feel it. There are a lot of good ideas that you've listed, and much more ambitiously than I would be able to! I hope that things sort themselves out and I do hope that you realise that you couldn't possibly sound like an idiot. Even if you were half or even a quarter only as brilliant as you are when you write. XOFifi
from enfinblue :
Thank you so much! OMG I'd be almost embarrassed to talk about art with you. But I will learn. :) I'm also a little bit embarrassed about how much I've been writing in recent months - I really do find that talking things through has helped me to figure out what should have been obvious: that I've made some truly dumb choices in my life. :) So here's to positive experiences to come! I hope that you're well - I'm sorry that you are so overworked and tired. Good luck with your writing tomorrow!
from fifidellabon :
The West Coast of NJ is a lot different. True, A lot of NJers would say that Hoboken is essentialy NY but that is just not true. Anyway, hope things look up for you. Your life does sound awfy fun, though! xoFifi
from harvestbird :
just a note to say that even though I am over at wordpress these days, I still read and enjoy your updates here. Your description of your recent days reminds me of a colleague today describing her coming weekend: dinner party, then another dinner party, then another. When we asked her what for, she said, "Chinese people! They keep getting married! And then we have to eat and talk and eat and talk and then go home!" One culture ciphers another ...
from enfinblue :
You're even with me - I only ran for 25 minutes today. The last time that I exercised was Sunday. And this is *me* crazy marathon girl. Honestly, exercise is good, but it is over-rated.
from enfinblue :
Gosh, that sounds delicious. Thanks! I will try it. Unfortunately it might not be "a" person. But oh well. I don't really have anything interesting to hide. I've always felt that the best way to be invisible is to be "all out there" - people are narcissistic. Yes, the haircut is awesome. I feel all flippy and shiny, and fortunately I don't, too, have a creepy movie star husband. I do, however, have the same haircut as every other girl in town.
from enfinblue :
I meant mysogyny.:)
from enfinblue :
Ah yes, mysogeny. So true. I just reread your last post and was thinking, "I read that article on willpower!" Yes, willpower can grow, although I must say lately I've mostly been wondering where mine has gone. Oh yeah - the way of the dodo, in favour of sloth and self-indulgence. I kind of like this latter state though. I recently started another journal to organize different thoughts that I do here, and I'm finding it useful. I have all sorts of recording systems at work, too. I suppose what I'm saying that perhaps a work thoughts journal would be an interesting experiment.
from fifidellabon :
Ah. I read in your message to Bluey about the inherent mysogeny of our society, and Amen SIS-tah! I am so fighting against it. It is a hopeless battle but I tend to fight those kinds. xoFifi
from enfinblue :
And PS in sync with what you're saying, I can tell you that the secret to fitness is something sort of mysterious and not so mysterious. I wouldn't worry about gaining weight. Thinking about the weight or the source is not relevant or interesting - thinking about what makes you feel physically light and free and good *is* important. It sounds really silly but I hardly ever run anymore and yet I feel most alive when I run. It's my home base. And I am the same size as when I was running ten times as much. Perhaps I'm not making sense but what I'm trying to say is that tapping into your intuition and focusing on what makes you feel good vs. what make you thin or "fit" is what is important. Wishing you the best.
from enfinblue :
All I can say is - thanks! Gosh I'm a douchebag myself to have even given this wanker a thought. I have this particularly peculiar problem of giving complete idiots my time and energy. So sad but true. I wish I had the secret to avioding this pestilance. :)
from enfinblue :
A major congrats on the book! I periodically get into that sugar shoveling thing. I'm on the fence about whether it is actually truly bad, or whether it's just that I'm needing the empty carbos. It does give one that high and low feeling though. And thanks re. the pictures! Honestly, I think that the guy just lost his nerve. Still, it left me...bewildered. I mean, I have no idea but if I had to guess I'd place him between the age of 35 and 38. I think I'll wait and see if he calls back tomorrow. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh you poor thing! I know the soul-crushingness that is this process. Keep your chin up. And thank you for your intelligent and thoughtful note (as always). It is divine to have found this voice. I've always reacted differently before and I'm resolved not to return to my old ways. :) Take care and get some rest!
from annanotbob :
Just clicked to see who was hiding behind that great username. Hope you got a good long sleep and that all goes well xx
from fifidellabon :
I looved the gmail April Fool! Sort of wish that it was for real...xoFifi
from fifidellabon :
Duuude, I am so sorry. I am feeling for you! Take care...xoFifi
from fifidellabon :
Rotting corpse zombie! You are wonderful with words. Although I do know that RCZ feeling! xoFifi
from enfinblue :
Good luck with the proposal. Take care and stay confident. I know what a hell this process can be.
from fifidellabon :
VERY exciting news!! xoFifi
from fifidellabon :
Well, it looks to me this way...you already had this idea, and he is older and whatever and it took him longer to get there, therefore, I'd say that you were probably smarter because you got there first. And who knows how much help this dude has, not to smack him down or anything. So I'll bet that your diss will be smashingly wonderful. And don't discount achievement, it seems to lurk in the oddest places. I am cheering you on! XOFifi
from girl101 :
i adore your layout. it calms me & reminds me so much of my love for crisp new bookstores & dusty library finds, wandering afternoons where anything is possible. i also love how you say 'noodling' - it cracks me up! :) i'm glad i stumbled onto your page. x
from fifidellabon :
Oooh! That museum! Did you go to that museum with all the medical specimens in it? It has a really long name. Oh, what a place! xoFiFi Pee Ess I do think that you made the correct decision, but only you can know for certain.
from fifidellabon :
Whoah! That's a big decision! I'm glad that you finished the essay...xoFifi
from robotheart :
happy birthday, love. enjoy it to the fullest.
from bathtubmary :
happy birthday, miss. xoxo, d
from bathtubmary :
marry me! xoxo, d
from fifidellabon :
Well, I am wishing you luck on the essay. Writing is haaarrrrd! I wanted to say also that I really do enjoy your writing and your honesty. It is like hearing someone's brain speak. Ah, if I only had one....xoFifi
from seedpod :
god please don't stop being so honest! there have been times when I've actually printed out things you've said and stuck them up-the most memorable probably isn't the most heart wrenching type of honesty... the time you were in a nickel n dime and someone asked if you were natalie imbruiglia.... but I did.. and ... yeah. who am I to stop you, I suppose, but still....
from enfinblue :
I hope that you don't go away. And re. the dissertation topic...another will come. I know what that process is like. I don't know what it is like in your field, exactly, but someone wise once told me to just pick a doable topic and get it done. Wish I had done that. Good luck.
from enfinblue :
Thanks! (Though I don't know if I needed to -eek- hear that about mattresses. ;)) Sounds as though you had an exhausting though productive and fulfilling weekend.
from enfinblue :
Oh I completely agree with you. Living in the suburbs as a teenager so scarred me that I will never return. I can't stand even going to parties in them. <Shiver> I'm a Jane Jacobs girl all the way - give me a city teeming with life. And I love New York, too. :)
from fifidellabon :
I read your last note to Bluey, and I totally agree about the suburbs. I just don't think that I could hack it there. Too much driving. During one of the floods, we lived with Ned's parents for three weeks or so, and althouhh it was lovely to be with them, I got the (oooh, I love this expression that I am about to use!) Shiverin' Willies every time I walked Spot. Because there were No People About! /xoFifi
from fifidellabon :
Happy New Year, Miss Ghost. I have totally loved reading your diary. Keep up the good work, eh? What an exciting life you lead! xoFifi
from fifidellabon :
I can totally see your image. You know, on the page. Well, I'm wishing you the best of things. xoFifi
from enfinblue :
My pleasure! I'm always sincere! (And truthful - yes, that dude did make that remark about my body. My face clearly displayed my displeasure...good to have a highly expressive face. :))
from enfinblue :
Thanks for the advice re. the dress! You know, in your concision and directness you're my diarying hero. Some of what you say reminds me of what I would actually state in person, but am for some unknown reason too cautiously polite to say in my diary. I find it an interesting read. :)
from rubyfoxx :
you know, i live in london - a capital city of europe - and I'd kill for one bar within walking distance of me that stayed open until 1:30 that didn't charge 10 quid to get in. Insanity, I tell you!
from fifidellabon :
Sugar is a good, good thing! /Fifi
from fifidellabon :
Der Miss Ghost, that was me strolling through your archives this morning. I think that perhaps that was you in mine. Also, that other thing was me. Took the liberty. I'm rahther pushy, and it seem to need to be done. I shall be reading much more of you! /Fifi Pee Ess I found you through enfinblue.
from enfinblue :
Hi! Thanks so much! So nice of you to leave that note. I was reading through all of your recent entries just last night and had meant to leave you a note. I just love reading about your life given that if I were to live another one myself I would make a similar career choice to yours. Really, it is so cool. I know that it is often challenging, but I'm so impressed!
from seedpod :
Ahh I know the feeling! I just did my first day of my new job- I went from having something like three jobs six months ago to ZERO jobs for the last month. I don't start regular work there for another two weeks and then I still wont get paid straight away- two months with no cash and lots of things to do and pay for. This morning I was looking at diaryland and thinking, "I hope hungryghost updates soon I wonder where she is?" Sometimes I like it when I get what I want :) but sorry to hear things are tight for you m'dear. xxxx (p.s I tried to post this as a comment and they wouldn't let me because you don't have a gold membership! bastards!)
from somthin :
Oh Hell you really were there... yes, the awful socks and broken bear, a new icky proverb for our time. Will keep an eye out for your write up. best.
from somthin :
When you go through the Basel Art Fair stop off at our booth and light it on fire. Oh, please... Also, if you find the time, please write a little review about Documenta. I'm just curious about that one. have a swell time!
from enfinblue :
Thank you so much for your note! Unfortunately I think that we are going to be overbooked--I would love to meet you if I were coming alone, but I'm with someone else--but I will email you as far in advance as I can if I have an open slot. :)
from flusianna :
Congratulations! I am glad that you are finished with the insanity that are comps. One of the worst periods of my life. Also, if you talk to Ruby Fox, please ask if I can have her password. This is from [email protected] Reading about the New Yorkers for years now. Miss the rocker! Anyway, congratulations and try to enjoy! Flusi
from metonym :
Hey - good luck! My fingers will be crossed for you!
from sea-change- :
I read the note you left in my guestbook and at first all I saw was a little cartoon strip, with me in the little block screaming, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" ... but then I realized you were complimenting me. Thank you! Coursework is stupid because there is no way you can do your best. So instead you are constantly making do. No fun at all.
from kneesocks :
i cant figure out how to give passwords for my diary to more than like 10 people = so please use sarahs - "sarah" and then "iscool". thanks!
from faux-pas :
Oh no... your diary is locked. Can I have a secret password? I promise to keep it secret. [email protected]
from kneesocks :
believe it or not i got the type 1s, the stilletos, and the hello kitty panties at ross!! the NY ones are probably more picked over - but i hear they've got the $7.99 type 1s all over the country! xoxo-h
from scrive :
fellow nyc-er? me, muse-ician-write-her, downtown little italy chinatown [email protected]
from ginja-puds :
I moved here.. from faux-pas
from kneesocks :
you must be one of the lucky ones then because my crate & barrel wine glasses i got for christmas have wet the bed like five times. xo-h
from beatlesgyrl :
The mystery is: every number you will come up with is a multiple of nine (9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, etc., if you do your math right). Every time you reload it, the symbols change. The person who came up with that is evil.
from slapmeharder :
your 'shh' just made me do a big huff laugh. yeah its tickin over in my head. tick tick tick. I'll be disowned but hey it'll be worth it. Hee. Shhh.... xxxx (night)
from slapmeharder :
my guestbook signing just made no sense apart from the 'you're brilliant' bit
from beatlesgyrl :
Bonjour. I was just rounding up snail-mail addresses for MINE club and hadn't heard from you yet. Not to fret; I'm not sure I have the right e-mail address for you. Either way, this is a not-so-coherent request for both. I'm available for questioning at [email protected]
from natasha5 :
with a thousand kisses...meow
from slapmeharder :
wow. seriously fuckin wow. It is totally surreal sitting on the other side of the world getting pieces of information about all this coming together. wow. hee. gushing and stuff. yay for you.
from slapmeharder :
yay not locked any more!!! oh and by the way....heard on the news tonight...this thing about weddings...and they mentioned two sites...don't know if they are any use to you...but one is called indiebride and the other is antibride.....don't hate me if they suck....but..well I thought of you and thought maybe they would be good....*grins and shrugs shoulders* xxx
from slapmeharder :
was thinking that I'm also scared of waitresses...so why do I keep befriending shop girls and waitresses? Better the devil you know.
from klikitak :
thanks for joining my nara kids ring. wheee-look at all...3 of us! well, anywhoo, i'll be in nyc may 26th. whats there to do there besides drink and museum hop? any suggestions?

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