messages to jess1976:
(click here to add new message):

from heylee :
Hi! May I please have the password again??? My computer bit the dust so all of my passwords are gone. :( Hope all is well. leannesim13ATyahooDOTcom
from theflyingrat :
congratulations!!!! Good to see you writing again! I can't believe I remembered the password, haha.
from stillsingle :
Congrats on the 2nd baby! My son is now 4.5 months old and I couldn't possibly think about having another baby now. We do plan to adopt our 2nd though, so we might end up with 2 around the same age. We're going to start the adoption process once Kyle turns 1. Glad to hear everything is going well for you (well, busy, but good, right?)
from blondeness :
OH, how CUUUUTEE! I love his cheeks!! It was good to see an update again from you!:)
from readyorknot :
hehe, he's so so cute :) i love those nice warm snuggly halloween customes :)
from stillsingle :
Wow, Nick is a little cutie! I haven't been on here much but will update soon. We are STILL trying for a baby...starting fertility testing soon. Hoping we'll be pregnant in the next few months, though! Hope you are doing well.
from blondeness :
OMG!!! He is soooooooo CUUUUTE!!! :D
from theflyingrat :
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Those photos are way too cute! Love them!!
from readyorknot :
awe, he's soo sooo cute :) he looks so pleased that he got his feet. What is it with babies and their feet, anyway? :)
from starlight42 :
Wow- DJ was only 20lbs when he was a year!! But then again my friends son who was a premie was 19 at 6 months, goes to show! I love all the pics, I think I've seen most on your myspace, but wanted to comment again. He's a doll!
from readyorknot :
i love the last photo, of all three of you! nick looks soo happy! he's adorable too, of course :)
from heylee :
Love the pics!! He is getting so big!
from kait77 :
If I haven't already said it thank you, I haven't gotten notice of notes in nearly a year. I think I need to check my email's spam filter. I update when I have a spare minute now, but I feel a little overloaded at the moment.
from blondeness :
Bradley does that sit up thing too! How funny! He can't yet sit himself up from a lying position, but he sure tries! And oh my goodness, Bradley is also 19 lbs, and a little older, but boy do I understand the carseat thing!
from starlight42 :
That is crazy you had to give him a buzz cut. So cute though!
from blondeness :
Hey, thanks for the note. I started my new job this past Monday, and so far, knock on wood, I LOVE it, but things have been SUPER busy at home every evening now, something going on every night and not enough time in the day anymore, so I'm ready early for work right now and taking 2 minutes to check my notes and emails! At 4 months, Bradley only weighed one pound more and was maybe an inch longer, I think, so I understand the big boy thing! And the lugging the carseat around! I hear you there!! Bradley is up to 19lbs now, and he still is not sitting well enough on his own, so yeah, I understand, completely! You guys looked great in the photo and so happy! Gotta run! Bye!
from theflyingrat :
So cute!!! I just caught up (I know, I'm horrible!) and love the photos. 3rd haircut already?! Sheesh. My son didn't even have any hair at that age, haha.
from blondeness :
Thanks for you note.:)
from readyorknot :
awe, seems like you just had him and now you have to go back to work! he's so adorable! my niece wouldn't take a pacifier either. it took me a bit to get logan off a pacifier so, it might be a good thing that he's not on one :)
from blondeness :
He looks like a little man! How cute! He looks so much like his daddy, from what I remember from his pictures. As for going back to work, yes, it's tough. It will be for a while...but if you know he's in good hands and if he goes willingly to his caretakers and has fun with them, it really helps. So, good luck to you and ((HUGS))!
from blondeness :
I loved the pics. Everytime I see them, I'm like, "Oh my gosh, the hair!" LOL! Cute! I love the one of you with him. You look so pretty and so happy.:)
from readyorknot :
such a cutie and his hair? my goodness :)
from stillsingle :
Wow, he's beautiful! All that hair, oh my God! I have to say, I'm completely jealous, but so happy for you. We are trying (still), but I know it can take a while. I just don't have any patience. Happy Easter!!
from blondeness :
Oh my goodness how cute! That hair!!:D So much more than Bradley's little blonde fuzzies!
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Somehow I missed the entry announcing the arrival of your bundle of joy! Belated congrats. He's handsome. :)
from blondeness :
Yay! I'm so glad all went well and thanks for the reassurance!;) And congrats to both you and the proud papa!! He's just beautiful and oh my goodness that head full of hair! It reminds me of Brian's hair when he was born. And I thought Bradley had cute chubby cheeks? LOL! I'm so happy for you!!! Now, get some sleep!;)
from readyorknot :
i still cant believe he was that big, my goodness!! :) he's beautiful though!!!
from blondeness :
Everything going ok? You are good? The baby? Yes, of course, that's why you don't have time to update, right? You are too busy recovering and enjoying parenthood.:) Take your time...;)
from blondeness :
Take your time updating. I understand, you just had a kid! I'm just anxiously awaiting the "news" and I'm letting you know I'm thinking about you and hoping it all went well.
from theflyingrat :
Oh my goodness, I'm so EXCITED! You must be holding your cute little guy by now! I can't wait to see photos. :)
from heylee :
I hope everything goes well tomorrow. Can't wait to see pics of the future little firefighter!
from blondeness :
Probably time you get this and by I read your next update, just think, you will be a mom!!!:D But I meant to come online sooner today to wish you luck. I've been thinking about you. And relax, of course you will be a great mom, silly!! I can't wait to "hear" all about it!
from readyorknot :
i was JUST thinking about you, which is why i signed onto diaryland. i can't wait to hear about the little baby boy!! :) good luck!! I can't wait to see him and hear all about the delivery! i hope all goes well and you both are safe and healthy!! and you'll be a good mom, don't worry!!
from blondeness :
I thought Bradley was big....goodness.:) Good luck and I'm sending prayers your way.;)
from stillsingle :
Sounds like things are coming along with your pregnancy - you must be so excited!! I know you're scared, I think all first time moms are, but you'll do fine. I agree with you on the c-section, too. I don't think I could deliver a 9 lbs baby either! Your Dr knows what's best and I don't think he'd steer you wrong. Good luck with everything!!
from readyorknot :
i'm so excited for you! i can't wait to hear abotu the little guy and see him!! you'll do wonderfully!
from blondeness :
Relax! (As much as you can, I so do not miss being big as a house with Bradley!) What I mean is, I am sure you will be a GREAT mom and when you hold that little miracle, you will just not be able to stop marveling at it and you will be surprised at how natural everything will come. It did for me the first time around anyways. The second time, I wasn't worried, but afraid of the added stress and Brian's jealousy. Added stress? Yes...but when I look into Bradley's eyes and his smile, it makes it all worth it! Jealousy? Hardly any, to my pleasant surprise. I'm so proud of my big boy Brian.:) Anyways, enough about me. Good luck to you no matter how it goes down and be sure to update us. I'll await the "news.";)
from jennifergwl :
Hey Jess! Wow 35 weeks! It seems like yesterday you let us know you're pregnant! Well, I had two c-sections. The first one happened because I pushed for 4.5 hours and nothing happened lol The second one was planned because I didn't want to go through what I did the first time. Just so you know, I had no problems with my epidural/spinals. I didn't even know they were doing anything. As for the c-section, it's a unique experience. I totally suggest that if they offer you any kind of meds for right after the section(to make you kind of sleepy), take them. I got them automatically after the first one and they made me very sleepy. I opted not to have them for the second, however, I didn't take into consideration that I had been in labor for 15 hours, 4.5 of them were trying to push. I was obviously tired to start! So, I do wish I had taken the meds the second time around. They kind of make you sleepy so that you don't have to pay attention to them putting in the stitches, etc. It takes quite a while and worth missing all of that :) Also, if the hospital you are having your baby offers you to keep the baby in the nursery at night, TAKE THEM UP ON IT! lol I didn't the first time and soooo regretted it. With a c-section or even a vaginal birth, you need the rest. You will have all the time in the world to be up all night after you've had a few days of rest :)
from readyorknot :
i think you're right to go with what your doctor think is best for you and the baby! I don't recall ever knowing the weight on Logan and he was 9 lbs 7oz luckily, I didn't have a problem but, I think its great that your doctor is concerned for the baby and is looking at everything with your pregnancy! Being uncomfortable at this stage is definitely normal! You'll be a great mom, don't even worry!! ((hugs))
from blondeness :
Thanks for your note. I understand the whole uncomfortable thing and the big baby thing too! At least he is healthy, eh? I'll be watching for updates, but no pressure, now that I've been reminded of your due date, I can be patient and wait it out. I'm so happy for you guys.:)
from starlight42 :
Glad you passed your glucose test! Sorry the baby isn't cooperatign for ultrasound pics...won't be long and you'll get to meet him in person. My friend Michelle had her baby last Monday. 6 weeks early but he's 5lb 6oz and doing good. Makes me want another......
from blondeness :
Glad to hear the great news! When is your due date again? Isn't it coming up? I can't wait to hear the good news of his arrival!:D
from readyorknot :
i'm so glad you don't have it! i bet it was still exciting to get the 3d ultrasound and hopefully they can get youback in again. I'm glad things are going well!!!
from jennifergwl :
Hey! I'm sorry you failed the 1 hour. I had GD with both of my pregnancies and I did freak when I had it with my first. I felt like I had been hurting him because of it. But, I was able to control my diabetes with diet and both of my boys were fine. I am so passionate about this subject for some reason. So forgive me if I sound all BTDT on you lol! I just know that some OB's don't offer too much support with it. My OB sent me to a nutritionist and she put me on a calorie-based meal plan. I know, you haven't even failed the 3 hour test yet lol but if(IF!!! and hoping you don't!!) you do, you can have some info to discuss with your doctor. I hope it goes well for you and that you let us know you passed with flying colors! :)
from jennifergwl :
Hi! Could I get your password again?? My computer crashed and I didn't save my passwords :(
from blondeness :
Thanks for your note! As far as being a big baby with pain? Don't worry about it. I am too and you somehow find the strength to make it through and then it's over. To get you through the contractions, it helps to breath through them, focus on an object, pretend you are shooting the pain out through your eyes towards the object, and remember the pain will be over soon, before the next one comes along, you will get breaks in between. How much longer? How are you doing? And good luck to you!!:)
from stillsingle :
Wow, I'm just catching up - congrats on the baby - that is awesome!! Another big congrats on the raise! And you're having a boy - yay! Chris wants a girl so bad - we're going to start "trying" right away. We don't want the pressure of really trying so we're just foregoing all BC and we'll see what happens. So happy for you!!
from starlight42 :
That is awesome about the raise!! Glad everything else is coming along well, minus the aches & pains. It's normal to be worried about when teh baby is here, and apparently it's normal to worry forever after that- LOL. You'll be a great mom.
from readyorknot :
i'm glad to hear everythings going so well, except for the uncomfortableness, I mean but that's definitely not going to go away any time soon so, I hope things stay steady in that area.. I'm just so glad the pregnancy is going well.. and congrats on the pay raise!! What a relief that probably is for you! I'm so glad you updated!!
from blondeness :
Thanks so much for the update. I'm glad to hear things are going good, and normally.:)Your fears are normal. I still have them now, with the second pregnancy, just realizing our lives are going to change so much with one more child, instantly. Well, part of me wishes it was more instant!! I'm sooooo READY to deliver this baby already!! Pray for this weekend! My due date is Monday and we still have our Halloween party planned for next weekend! (Yes, we are nuts!!)
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Congrats! I'm just now getting caught up...I missed A LOT! :)
from heylee :
Congrats on the little future firefighter!!!!!!!
from readyorknot :
Ooh its aboy, congrats!! :)
from blondeness :
Ok, found it! Duh! My blondeness!! Thank your for sharing and for mentioning me and my "pestyness" by the way, LOL! I love both names.:) I had Nicholas chosen as a boy name too, one of the many that Jason and I did not agree upon.
from blondeness :
Awwww! Congrats to you and for Dan!! I'm so happy for you both!!! I remember Jason was just estatic when we found out Brian was a boy.:) And I'm reading your notes..."name"? Names? Where? Did I miss an entry or something?? I'm going back to check.;)
from theflyingrat :
P.S. I like the name you've got picked out! :)
from theflyingrat :
Yay! Boys are so much fun!! Congratulations! ♥
from nicolerenee :
Ack! Your killing me!!! What are you having?!?!!
from mozangeles :
Good luck, sweetie! I cannot wait to find out what the baby is! I'm so excited for you! xoxo - me
from nicolerenee :
K, I think you are having a boy..and hello? THose names are great!! And both have either my name in them, or a form! ;) Yay! I can't wait!!
from blondeness :
I had meant to say I had a gut feeling that this baby was a GIRL, not boy.:)
from blondeness :
Great news.:) And I had a gut feeling that Brian was a boy and I was right, but I also had a gut feeling that this was a boy and was wrong, so there is no telling until you see the proof. Also, this one has a pretty high heartrate and it's a boy...so....I can't wait to find out from you! And what about those names?? You never mentioned you had any chosen? Or are you keeping them secret for now? Hmmmmm???:)
from jennifergwl :
Aww how great the results came back so good! Much relief for you :) And my boys heart rates were 142 and 148, so think you are somewhat near the low end, your intuition may still be right! :) I am so anxious to know now lol
from readyorknot :
oh! how wonderful to hear the results came back fine, what a relief!! I cannot wait to find out what you are having!!
from theflyingrat :
I hope no news is good news... how did the screen come back? And yay for the big ultrasound! I can't wait to find out what you're having! :)
from blondeness :
How were the results? Or are you waiting until the ultrasound to update. I'll be patient...lalala...:) Just letting you know I'm thinking about you.;)
from blondeness :
I'll be hoping and praying for your results, but I feel confident for you that all is fine.:) My first sensations of feeling Brian move, and Bradley felt like a fluttering, like butterflies in my stomach, but I thought at first I was mistaking gas as the baby, LOL, until I learned to recognize it as the actual baby after all, so could be.:) Right now, Bradley is getting so big, there is no mistaking the movement as you can see my stomach shift! I'm excited to hear if you find out the gender! I can't wait for that update! And let us know what names you have picked out, if you want to, K?;)
from readyorknot :
i hope you hear good news with the results ((hugs)). I'll be thinking about you!
from blondeness :
Thanks for the input! I'll check out that site.;)
from blondeness :
So glad for the update! Yay! And glad to hear all seems to be going very normally for you. I hear ya on the cankles! Mine swell up here and there, but not too bad, like I was in the end with Brian. Not yet anyways. I thought Bradley would be stinker too at the big ultrasound, and he wasn't so who knows? Ok, well, I can't wait for more updates. Try to have fun camping, lol!;)
from jennifergwl :
Oh. My. Word. You are going camping. You are going CAMPING. YOU are going CAMPING. I can't wrap my mind around that because, well like you said, you will be 18 weeks pregnant. I would have been like, uhhhh I am SO not getting involved in that one HAHA! I hope the weather is amazing and that the air mattress will be comfy. I remember 18 weeks pregnant and even my bed wasn't comfy. The FL thing, well that is awesome! A much needed final retreat :) I am going to FL in Oct actually. I look forward to hearing the results of the ultrasound! My first one showed us right away, my second it took 3 ultrasounds lol! Stay cool!
from mozangeles :
Yay! You updated. I should talk, huh? I've just been...blargh...I dunno...uninspired to write. :( I'm glad all is well! xoxo - me
from mozangeles :
I understand that you'd keep the baby no matter what, and I applaud you for that, but wouldn't you want to know just to be prepared? I mean, maybe it's just this doctor, but he's making it sound awfully complicated, delivery-wise, if there are problems. I don't know...I guess my advice would be to do research on it...and if you honestly feel uncomfortable with this doctor because of this decision, I would switch. Your happiness is key to having a good relationship with your doc! I'm glad you updated...I've missed ya. Love you! xoxo - me
from blondeness :
My doctor left the choice up to me. I chose the initial blood screening, but whether it showed risks or not, I was going to opt out of the level2 ultrasound (mostly because my ins. would not cover it) and the amnio (because of the risks there). Luckilly, the initial blood screening came back negative for any risks. I want to know too. Are you going to find out the sex? And do you have any names picked out yet?
from nicolerenee :
I'm steaming right now. I cannot believe your doctor was saying that to you. Grrr. Honestly Jess? I would switch doctors. ASAP. And I'm gonna guess you are having a boy...just a guess though... :)
from theflyingrat :
That is RIDICULOUS that he is virtually forcing you to have that test. I refused it with my pregnancy for the same reason that you mentioned and my doctor was fine with it. I just don't understand why some doctors act like it is their choice. It's not. It is YOUR choice, YOUR body, YOUR baby. aaaah. Anyway. I'm so glad that things are going well. I'm sure you'll have a wonderfully healthy baby by the end of this pregnancy. All pink and wrinkly. :) Are you going to find out the gender or will it be a surprise when he/she is born?
from blondeness :
Hey, how are things going now? Past the 12 week mark? Update please? Thanks...:)
from blondeness :
Thanks for your note, and you are welcome for yours. I'm now just a couple days over 27 weeks along (almost 7 months). Luckilly, my stress level has gone done some, other than the fact that I can't drive right now, and other than the high stress moments that Brian still gives me at times. I'll keep praying for you!:)
from blondeness :
Great news! I am sooooo happy for you!!:) How far along are you now? (((HUGS))) of happiness go out to you!!
from heylee :
That's wonderful news!!!! :)
from jennifergwl :
ahhh that is SO amazing! Ok, how far along are you now because I am just not remembering. Isn't it so great how quickly things change and this time you're like my bean sprouted into a baby!! I am so happy for you! Rest easy for a while :)
from readyorknot :
i'm am SO happy and relieved for you guys!!!
from classygirl83 :
Good luck....I'm sure it will go GREAT!!! Don't worry to much!!!
from jennifergwl :
Yeah, I'm pretty miffed still! I liked my sticker there. I do have another, but I don't want it to happen again only to get angry again. Plus I wanted to keep it. Eh, oh well! I hope you are continuing to do well, too! I can't wait to see that ultrasound. I had it pretty easy with both my pregnancies, only some nausea with both for a short period. While unsettling in the beginning lol it was nice! I bought a heart rate monitor (which apparently I am not allowed to sell on eBay and had planned to afterward, how annoying! Because it is used.) and it really helped to ease my worries. While they aren't that cheap WELL worth the money if you are looking for a little reassurance :)
from readyorknot :
i'm glad things are going well. Let us know how your next ultrasound goes, as soon as you can! I'm excited to hear about the little one. I hope dan gets it! I'll be saying a prayer for the three of you! ((hugs))
from theflyingrat :
I hope he gets the job and I will be sure to keep you (and your little one!) in my thoughts. ♥
from blondeness :
I'm glad to hear that things are going good. Sorry to hear you are feeling queasy. I remember with Brian, I was so worried when I didn't feel sick at first and I told Jason that I almost hoped I would get morning sickness, just to know that it was normal and ok and then I got sick all of the time and he teased, "You just HAD to wish for it!" Tee hee! Thanks for your note. Yeah, unfortunately, it's pretty evident, that even in spite of the cold hard evidence that Dawn has found that he has feelings for another girl, wheter reciprocated or not, she is just not ready to leave him....and as for how I'm feeling? Well, pretty good most of the times. The last time I got sick was 4th of July morning, in the shower. The heat gets to me, wears me out, especially if it's a hot day that I'm in and out of the air conditioning a lot, and yeah, I feel the extra bundle of weight when I waddle and stuff, but it's all good.:) I just wish I had less stress to deal with, but at least Bradley is becoming used to it? I can't wait to hear about your waddling.;) Take care!
from starlight42 :
Glad to hear things are going well. I love ultrasound pics!! As far as the heartbeat, since you heard it last time, you should be able to from now on, however, it may still require an ultrasound. I know everytime we went in for DJ, she'd chekc and couldn't find it, so they'd do an US (they had one in the office- which is the BEST), and find it each time. I think this happened until I was 3-4 mos along and then we could hear with just the other thing they have.
from theflyingrat :
I'm glad everything is all right, I think of you lots! I'm sure that you'll soon be holding a VERY HEALTHY baby in your arms. ♥
from blondeness :
Just try your best to relax and just remember that I will keep praying for ya, k?;) Our OB appts. run around the same time. My next is on July 19th, though it's not an ultrasound.
from lerin :
We did a registry clean thing, and now my saved pw's are wiped out and I don't remember yours. Could you send it to me again? (I'm sorry!)
from jennifergwl :
It is impossible not to worry. It's funny, I was you with both pregnancies, surfing the net to find out everything I could and always coming up with something bad. The internet is a wonderful thing, but it is too much sometimes. I'm still praying for you and so happy you are feeling good. While you would probably feel relieved if you were throwing up morning, noon and night, you'd probably be too miserable to be happy about it lol! Can't wait to hear about the next u/s!
from mozangeles :
Hey you! I'm sorry that I've been so wrapped up in myself lately...but I want you to know that I've been reading, and I am incredibly happy for you. I love the pictures, and I want to see more as the pregnancy progresses! :) Love you! xoxo - me
from blondeness :
Wonderful, wonderful news! It brought tears to my eyes, I kid you not! I admit I was a little worried when you didn't update yesterday. I wanted to check your update today before I did mine. I am sooooooooo happy for you and for Dan, girl!! ((HUG))!!!!
from heylee :
Wonderful news, hon!!
from readyorknot :
awwwwwww!! i was thinking about you and wondering how it went!! i bet it was sooo great to see him/her!!!
from jennifergwl :
YES YES YES!!! Look at that little jelly bean! CONGRATS! You must just feeling so much relief! However, I totally understand the apprehension along the way as well. Try to enjoy that sonogram and just rest and drink lots of water. I was told to do that if I felt crampy, too. Just drink, drink, drink, drink and when you feel like you can't anymore, DRINK! lol :)
from jennifergwl :
Hey Jess, How did yesterday go? I can't wait to hear!! Keep us posted :) Praying for you!
from blondeness :
I know it must be scary for you. *hugs* If it's any consolation at all, I've been having brown spotting on and off throughout this pregnancy, but it's not like blood, it's like a thin watery fluid, but I've been told by the doc it's nothing to worry about. As for the pink at this stage for you, I don't know, but I will be praying for you and awaiting the update on the ultrasound. (((HUGS)))!
from theflyingrat :
*hugs* I'm thinking of you. ♥
from blondeness :
I'll be eagerly awaiting the updates and I'll be praying for you too!! How exciting!:D
from starlight42 :
awesome news!!! I'm betting that you're pregnant with twins... :)
from singlegirl :
Yay! I was thinking about you and I'm glad the numbers have gone up. Stay away from self-diagnosis. I am guilty of it and it can just stress you out. Relax and think happy thoughts!
from jennifergwl :
YAY! Doin' a happy dance! Doin' a happy dance! haha! That is SO great! With baby #2 I had super high numbers like that and found out I had twins at my first ultrasound. One didn't make it and I truly didn't tell you this to upset you, but I would think like you are, that you would be feeling pain or something if it were something bad. So, keep thinking that this little one is growing strong! :) Can't wait to hear how the U/S went! I will be praying! :)
from readyorknot :
i'm glad the numbers are higher but please do not read anything online about anything.. if you are concerned, ask your doctor because the internets information is just going to worry you into soo many worries about the baby. please don't look up information.
from starlight42 :
I hope you got some good results today......
from theflyingrat :
No news is good news.. I'm sure everything is fine. I'm thinking of you! ♥
from jennifergwl :
GAH! How annoying! Talk about making you stressed out! sheesh! Ok will be praying for you!
from readyorknot :
I will be praying that everything goes well for you!! ((hugs))
from blondeness :
I had fallen so far behind and finally caught up. I am soooooooooooo happy for you!!! You ARE indeed prego again!!! I know it's scary, trust me. I spotted a little with Brian, but all was well. And the fact that you are so tired is a good sign! It sounds to me like all is going well this time around, but I know it's hard to relax. Just wait until you hear the heartbeat or see the miracle on the ultrasound.:) Keep us updated!;) And congrats!!!:D
from jennifergwl :
Oh my word, you are SO disciplined. I'd be testing every single day. I did that with both of my pregnancies for a while. Especially the second one. I even bought a doppler heart rate monitor for later in the pg. lol Yeah, I was pretty paranoid. I look forward to hearing how your blood work went! :)
from starlight42 :
Got caught up....congrats!! Try not to worry too much, I know it's near impossible, but try anyway. ;) I had barely any pregnancy symptoms, most of my pregnancy!! I did not have morning sickness, altho a few nights I was nauseaus, I guess they call that "night sickness". Anyway, that doesn't mean anything. Just keep getting through each day and before you know it your first trimester will be over. :) Sending lots of good vibes your way!
from emaciana :
hey i would love to read. i found u thru lerin. starrysugar @ hotmail xoxo
from emaciana :
hey i would love to read. i found u thru lerin. starrysugar @ hotmail xoxo
from starlight42 :
I can't get in!! If you wanna share the pw, my email is [email protected] or you can leave it on myspace. Ohhhh, and I see by your notes you may be pregnant again?! Yay....I just found out today one of my friends is as well. :)
from jennifergwl :
aww yay, you're tired!! lol! That is a good sign, too! I remember the day my doctor confirmed my first pregnancy, I was SO tired. We went out to dinner to celebrate and I was falling asleep at the table. It's a wonderful thing :)
from anita-girl :
I am glad to hear that things are doing better. So glad! I am hoping for the best for you! Try to remain positive! Speak out loud that this baby will make it to fullterm and be healthy, believe it!
from jennifergwl :
Hi Jess, How are you doing? I know it's only been 2 days lol but I have been thinking about you and looking everyday to hear how you are :)
from readyorknot :
oh, that is SUCH a relief! I am so happy to hear that you can be a little less stressed! let us know what's going on ((hugs))
from theflyingrat :
I'm so relieved for you! Take it easy... I'm sure everything will be just fine. ♥
from jennifergwl :
OH I am SO glad. That is enough to help you relax a little for now. I hope you can rest as much as possible and just cost your way to the 19th!
from readyorknot :
oh dear, I am so so sorry. I think you showed take jenn's advice. I am hoping and praying that it won't be a repeat ((hugs))!
from theflyingrat :
Have you been to the doctor for another blood draw yet? I only ask because after my miscarriage, I had spotting with my daughter and I ended up with a healthy baby that time. Hopefully it will be the same with you. I know how scary it is, I have been there! You're in my thoughts, go to the ER if you can't get into your doctor - they will draw blood there since you know your previous numbers. *hugs* ♥
from jennifergwl :
Ok, don't panic because that can be normal. Some women will still get what seems like a lighter period when they are in the beginning of their pg. If the numbers quadrupled that is amazing! Just hold on and pray!!
from theflyingrat :
Yay!!!! I knew they would. I'm so so so excited for you! ♥
from nicolerenee :
Praying the numbers will be tripled!!!! Let us know ASAP!!!
from jennifergwl :
Praying for you this morning!!!
from theflyingrat :
I'm thinking of you! Good thoughts! ♥
from jennifergwl :
Just keep in your mind how early it really is! I only got that super faint positive 4 days before my period was supposed to be here, so you are definitely ahead of the game. So, that is great that you are seeing that line. Also, how awesome it is that your doctor is doing blood work so early, too! Most won't even talk to you until you miss your period. So, I'm praying and look forward to your post on Friday!! The wait is SO hard, I know! Having been where you are, I TOTALLY know the egg shells you are walking on and the mindset you are in!
from nicolerenee :
Prayers going up for you my dear. :)
from theflyingrat :
You're in my thoughts. My numbers were low like that with my baby girl. And, like you said, it was early. Sometimes the embryo implants a bit later than others so it takes longers for your numbers to rise. ♥
from jess1976 :
Thanks for the note!! I can't wait to see if you find out what your having. How exciting. Make sure to update!! And have fun in Florida.
from anita-girl :
YAY! Good luck Good luck! Actually when I saw that you updated I totally thought maybe.... I am so excited for you!
from blondeness :
How exciting!!! Good luck, good luck, good luck! When I tested with this baby, the plus sign was really faint and the box said that no matter how faint or strong it is, if it's a positive, it's a positive!!! My hopes, thoughts, and prayers are with you girl!;)
from jennifergwl :
Awww YAY! My first positive was faint like that, too!! I will be praying everything goes as it should!
from nicolerenee :
That is what the pg test looked like with Kyra...I actually called EPT and argued with them! The nurse there told me that you can't get a fake positive...so...here's hoping Jess! I have been praying!!!
from theflyingrat :
It's faint but it looks like a positive to me! I'm thinking of you and I hope this IS it! :)
from readyorknot :
ahhh, I am soooo excited for you!! I'll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!
from lostinmylove :
Hi there. My buddylist page popped your name up as adding me again. I remember you from the past :) (Your name looks so familiar! LOL) I am not updating this diary anymore, though I have a new address. If you would like it, just email me. [email protected]
from blondeness :
It will happen for you! I have a good feeling, if that means anything.;) And don't worry, I understand how you are feeling. It gets so frustrating! I was glad to see you updated. Sorry to hear you're down.:(
from mozangeles :
NM! I suddenly remembered after I wrote that! LOL! God, talk about scatterbrained. xoxo - me
from mozangeles :
Poopsticks! So many people are locking up these days, it's hard to keep up with log-in info. Can you send it to me again? Thank you, bellissima! [email protected] xoxo - me
from blondeness :
I was about to leave you a note to see if things were ok, then I saw you updated. Hang in there Jess. It will all work out.;) (((HUGS)))
from jennifergwl :
It's good to keep a positive outlook! As hard as it is... All you can do is take it month by month. I hope next month will come quickly for you!
from jennifergwl :
Hi Jess, I've been thinking about you a lot lately wondering how it's been going for you guys. I went through the same question "why is it so easy for some?" I had a hard time conceiving both of my boys and needed Clomid. After a very frustrating year of trying, we had testing done and it came down to trying Clomid. It worked on the first try. Apparently my progesterone level wasn't enough to keep a pregnancy viable. So, I don't know if you've asked about that. Low progesterone is a common issue with women not getting pregnant. Maybe your body is still healing as well. I know it's impossible not to feel frustrated and I won't even tell you to relax, because that is even more frustrating lol! I have been praying for you guys and I hope it happens soon!
from nicolerenee :
I'm glad you brought God up in your entry, Jess. I would love to talk to you about Him and His plan for YOUR life (and Dan's). I think sometimes people get into the 'what can God do for me...' but then forget that God requires from us as well. Anyway. My AIM screename is ccolerenee, if you want to talk. I am praying for you guys though, and pray that Gods will is brought upon your family-and I believe it is His will for you to have children..when His time is right. :)
from singlegirl :
I think only you can decide what is right. If it doesn't feel right to go, then it's not the right time. If later on it is, then you guys will go. No worries!
from blondeness :
Of course we support whatever you and Dan decide, silly! I'm glad it helped you two to openly discuss things though, which may be all you needed in the first place.:)
from classygirl83 :
I agree with what all of the other girls have said..........I agree that sometimes it's best to just work things out on your own....In November, everyone was telling me that I needed to go talk to someone, and I went to the appt, but when I got there I realized that I didn't feel right about going......So? I left. Did I work things out on my own? Youbetcha! Did I take some meds for awhile? Yep. I think that people often know what is best for them, and if going and talking to someone didn't feel right? Then y'all both know what's in your heart, and what is best for the two of yall. I'm sorry that yall got into such a huge fight. That sucks. I'm here though if ya ever need to talk/vent/whatever!! I hope that things continue to get better. You've both have been through alot lately. **Huggss**
from xx-angel-xx :
you and dan did what you both think was best. It doesn't matter whose disappointed if you didn't go. i am sure if you really felt you NEEDED it, you would have went, no matter the outcome. Perhaps its better that you two works things out by yourself first, it might work ((hugs)).
from jennifergwl :
aww don't worry about what others think LOL! Ok, so that is part of your issue lol but I mean you need to do what's best for you and if counseling isn't it right now, then so be it! If you need it, you both know you are willing and will know when that step needs to be taken. I hope all goes well. You both seem to have good communication which is SO important :)
from mozangeles :
Aww, you know that I love you and will always support no matter what you do. I will push ya from time to time, but always know that it's because I care about you and want the best for you! AND...I don't like quitters! :) LOVE YOU!! xoxo - me
from makinganewme :
Wow, I am actually writing a note on diaryland!! Do you feel special? :) You should, because you ARE!! And not just because I wrote you one...hehe. But anyway. Just my two cents on the situation....I think you should do whatever the two of you are ultimately comfortable with...however! don't think that just because you go see a counselor, and she recomends something (such as splitting up, or waiting to have a baby) that you HAVE to do that. He/She is not with you and Dan 24/7, therefore i'm not completly sure that he/she would know what is ultimately best for the two of you. Counseling is just a sstarting point...just someone putting in an extra view that might not be seen by either him or you. See what I'm sayin? I hope. And I also hope that things work out for the best in the end for you, because you deserve every bit of happiness in the world. I love you!! XOXO
from mozangeles :
It's unfortunate that you see couples therapy as "throwing in the towel." Throwing in the towel, to me, would be splitting up and getting a divorce. But, I hope you two can work things out. xoxo - me
from nicolerenee :
Can I ask why you were so nervous to go?
from blondeness :
ok, I am finally caught up. Since you asked, I'll give you my point of view, but every relationship is different, so it won't necessarilly help you, but here it is. As far and Jason and I, yes I am very satisfied with our marraige, but yes we argue sometimes too, but it usually only consists of a couple of snaps back and forth and then I run off to the bathroom to cry, tee hee. I'm so sorry about your elbow, ouch! By you and Dan going to counseling, it does not signify the beginning of the end of your marraige. I think it's a good thing to help disapate the issues you have with one another and the anger issues early on. With my first husband, we waited way too long to begin counseling. By time we went, the marraige was already essentially over and for me the counseling only clarified that for me, but I do not see it happening for you and Dan. Also, for me and my first husband, the miscarraige took it's toll on our relationship, because there were a lot of unspoken feelings about it for years. Then we tried on and off for years after to conceive, and didn't, and he didn't really want to, and when he said we needed to work on our marraige before getting pregnant, we were already married for 10 years, so, for me, when he once asked me if I was trying to have a baby as a desparate attempt to save our marraige, I realised that no, but I was trying to cling our marraige as a desparate attempt to have a child. And I knew that was not right. But for you, I don't see that at all. Your "problems" are no where near what mine and Mike's were, I'm just giving my take of my own experience. But relax, I'm sure it will go fine. I can see that you are both willing to work on your problems. With Mike, he wasn't, and in the end, I wasn't. Ok, I'll shut up now.:)
from mozangeles :
Most of the time, doing what's RIGHT is the hardest thing that we have to do. And it's hard because it requires effort on our part. I've been a supporter of the counseling from the get go...I don't think that your problems are going to magically disappear if you sweep them under the rug instead of dealing with them. But also - I think your intuition is correct. Your counselor may recommend waiting to have a baby until you two can work things out...and I know you're really excited to have one and almost feel a need to - but you and Dan need to be good parents for that baby - and that sometimes requires that you two take care of your own issues before bringing another person into it. I know, I know...I'm always devil's advocate, but I really want what is best for you...and I think that, with time, you'll figure it out. I love ya. xoxo - me
from blondeness :
I've fallen so behind, and now you are locked??? Can you please email the password? PLEASE?? Thanks!</P>[email protected]
from xx-angel-xx :
things will be okay. (hugs)
from jennifergwl :
I think it's SO great you are both so willing to go to couseling. Soooo many people would rather keep going as they are because they don't want to appear weak. You will both probably end up so much stronger afterward and have such a better understanding of how to handle things in the future. I will will pray for you both! :)
from theflyingrat :
I'm glad things are looking up, I don't think a counselor would recommend that you split up! I hope you have a nice Easter & thanks for the pw. ♥
from mozangeles :
I'm glad you decided to keep the appointment, and I hope that you two make the best out of the time that you have there. I know you two will be fine. I love you, and I am thinking of you. xoxo - me
from theflyingrat :
Hey, I noticed you locked up & I was wondering if I could have the password? [email protected] - I hope everything is okay. ♥
from anita-girl :
Hey! I feel horirble for oyu! Everyone fights and you always feel that you are the worst spouse and have a horrible marriage afterwards! I think the consoling is a good idea, and I totally understnad how you are scared! Do you guys ever read marriage books? I think that is a great idea to read one togather and talk about it, you can learn so much. There are ones for the man and woman by the same authors and those are great too. I could give you some recommendations if you want. I hope that your long weekend is good! Don't let your fear of the counseling apont ruin it for you!
from nicolerenee :
Ack! You and Dan fight like me and Chris! Minus the window thing...but we have had plants go flying, doors slamming, tires screeching, etc. I totally understand what you were talking about in the restaurant. Chris does that sometimes in front of other people...so demeaning. And I don't want you to think that just because you are sharing this stuff, that people are going to think differently of you and Dan. Everyone fights sometimes...if they don't-there are deeeep problems! I'm glad you are still going to go to couseling, it can only help, really.
from anita-girl :
Hi! I am sorry I thought that I gave you my email so that I could get your user/paswrd info but I guess not! Please email me at [email protected] if you would like ot share the info with me! hope so! I really hope that things are going well....
from jennifergwl :
Hi Jess, I know I am new to reading you, but I'd love to keep reading :) If it's ok, you could send me your password to [email protected] Thanks! :)
from xx-angel-xx :
thanks for the password. Maybe conceling would go well for the two of you, it doesn't mean you have a problem but, perhaps it'll hope both of you with your anger and defensive sides. I hope you have a great easter!! Take it easy!!!
from xx-angel-xx :
oh no! you locked up, can you please e-mail me your password, IF ur giving it out and want to send it my way (holli 921 @ aol.com)
from silverscorp :
Password [email protected]
from mozangeles :
I think that couples counseling is a fantastic idea, and you should definitely keep the appoinment. Not because you and Dan are a bad couple, but because I am firm believer that EVERY couple should get counseling...before marriage if they can! I think that living with someone for the rest of your life can really be taxing and a hard adjustment...people take it very lightly when they get married. I think that counseling can help create a framework to build on to learn how to live together in harmony and love one another. If I had the insurance (goddamn insurance at my company pisses me off) or money to afford couples counseling RIGHT NOW, I'd totally do it. Paulo and I have had many moments lately like the one that you described...I just never write about them because I feel embarassed as well. I always thought that once things got ridiculous or physical, we'd be over...and I'm not saying it's normal or healthy...but it happens...and it IS a sign that counseling is necessary. I know that you and Dan will make it - you both just need to put the effort in. I love you. xoxo - me
from singlegirl :
Hey did you get my email? Can you please send me the password? [email protected]
from lerin :
I'm so sorry that you had a BFN. :( Email me your pw to [email protected]
from lerin :
I'm so sorry that you had a BFN. :( Email me your pw to [email protected]
from silverscorp :
Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. But it will happen for you! With God everything is possible!
from stillsingle :
So happy to hear you and Dan are trying for another baby. You SIL and MIL may just feel like they want to give you some space. After my brother and his girlfriend had their miscarriage, our family was there to console them right away, but then we backed off as we thought they needed some time to heal and grieve. I'm sure they're not not calling because they don't care; you're right, they probably just don't know what to say. They'll come around again, I'm sure. Good luck with the baby making!! Chris and I will be starting right after we're married.
from theflyingrat :
P.S. I LOVE the new kitchen (I just got caught up)!
from theflyingrat :
After my miscarriage the only baby/child that I could really stand to be around was my son. Everytime I was out and saw a pregnant woman the 'why me?!' monologue would start up in my mind again and I'd get so upset. The day that my SIL told me she was pregnant (and her due date was right around what mine would have been) I burst into tears and ran out of the room! It is completely normal to be upset. I think you have a right to be bothered by your MIL and SIL acting that way, too. I was so upset with my best friend because she didn't even say ANYTHING to me after my miscarriage. But really, it was that she just didn't 'get it' and she was afraid to mention it or say anything to me for fear of hurting me even more. Maybe that's the deal with your in-laws? Anyway! I've got my fingers crossed for you, I hope you've got a teensy little embryo in there waiting to be discovered! ♥
from silverscorp :
Jess in my opinion you can feel anyway you like. Even if one day you feel one way about something and then the next day it's the total opposite feeling on the same subject. You lost your baby and this is a very difficult time for you. You are going to have emotional ups and downs and I personally think you are completely entitled to them.
from mozangeles :
Oh honey, it's only natural to care what your "in laws" think of you. I care a lot, too, even though I shouldn't - especially with certain future in-laws of mine (not his parents). Did Dan's sister and mother keep in good contact with you before the miscarriage? Because if so, then they are definitely being really rude, even if it's that they feel uncomfortable. They have to imagine how you must feel - you are the one who went through the miscarriage, not them! Otherwise, you may be looking into it a bit - and it might be because you feel sensitive about the subject. Either way, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I'm here for you! xoxo - me
from singlegirl :
The new kitchen looks great!!!! Thanks for the compliment on the weight loss. Hope things are going better for you.
from starlight42 :
Hey- Just catching up on the last couple of months here, I don't read too much on DL lately. Anyway, first of all I now want to re-do my kitchen!! What a difference the wood cabinets make, it looks like you used to have the metal like we do. Nice!! Also, again I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage. I'm crossing my fingers for you that a baby will come along soon for you both!! Also, dont' fret too much about morning sickness, some people get it really bad, some have nothing; I had none. And dont' let it scare you when they say that people with morn sickness are more likely to have a healthy preg. Mine was absolutely perfect except for at the end when they thought he was too small, but he wasn't. Anyway, no complications at all, so think happy thoughts and maybe you'll get as lucky!!
from xx-angel-xx :
i love your new kitchen!! I hope you feel better!! Don't worry so much.. that won't make you feel any better, dear :)
from anita-girl :
Your kitchen looks amazing! So good! I love it! Enjoy your day off! Dont' worry about it. And don't let them treat you badly just say I wasn't feeling well so please act like an adult!
from mozangeles :
Don't you dare feel guilty for taking your paid time off! Enjoy it and relax! No point in staying home and resting if you are going to worry all day! :P Good luck with this cycle, and just keep trying! xoxo - me
from theflyingrat :
My husband's boss sounds like your boss - sort of. Kent has only called in ONE day since he's been working there (5 years) and that was the day I miscarried. His boss stays home quite often but always bitches whenever anyone else calls out. Bah. I say TAKE your day off, ENJOY your day off and try to ignore your boss if she's being bitchy about it tomorrow. ♥
from jennifergwl :
aww I hope you have a restful day today. Who knows maybe you will be surprised when you go in tomorrow and no one will be any different (ok, I will just giving you something positive to focus on LOL!) Prayers to you on conceiving this month and don't ya love a new kitchen? Everything new, nothing anyone else ever touched or made dirty! We had ours redone Jan 04 and I LOVE it! I can't believe I didn't take before pictures, however I am sure I have take photos in there one time or another and should put them together with new ones. Oh well :)
from nicolerenee :
Wow, Jess, that looks so good! What a gorgeous kitchen you have! And I love that window about the table. SO cute!
from blondeness :
Yay, glad to hear AF finally came! Good luck to you! Also, thanks for your sympathetic note. My husband wasn't sure the doctor was right about the Unisom thing because it is a sleeping pill. It didn't work the first time I tried it and I hadn't tried it since, but I haven't needed too, thankfully. But it was $12 a box, so now it goes to waste? I dunno. Anyways, remarkably, suddenly yesterday and today I am feeling so much better. I think the other day was a bought of the flu on top of the morning sickness.
from silverscorp :
Glad to hear you in good spirits! Take care!
from blondeness :
Good luck to you and Dan on everything and as always, my prayers are with you.
from xx-angel-xx :
((hugs)) everything WILL work out.
from theflyingrat :
It's not possible that you're already pregnant is it? I have a friend who recently had a miscarriage and she was waiting for her period. And it didn't come and didn't come and then the doctor gave her medication to start it and it STILL didn't come. So her ob gave her a blood test and she discovered she was pregnant. She was shocked. I don't want to get your hopes up, I was just wondering if you've tested or if it's even a possibility? Maybe I'm too nosey! :) ♥
from nicolerenee :
And, AW! Thanks for the compliment on Kyra. She is SO caring and sensetive and wonderful. I know that at some point the other two will follow in her footsteps, I just hope it's sooner rather than later! :)
from nicolerenee :
Hey, with Dan looking for new employment, maybe you relocating to OK could work out?! Maybe it's a good thing? I'm sorry your job is so stressful...I could never handle anything at that calabre...I'm SO not classy and put together enough for it! lol
from silverscorp :
Okay girl I added you again. I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I hope you know you have tons of support here. I'll email you my passwords.
from blondeness :
Hi Jess, thanks for your notes. Sorry to respond so late. Good luck with getting your period and trying again. And ah yes....nausiousness (sp?)....I've been going through this and it's making me feel "bad" for not feeling more "happy" and excited and all just because of this....I'm so hoping it only last through early pregnancy this time...
from theflyingrat :
All pregnancies ARE different. With my son I had virtually NO morning sickness. Same with my second pregnancy (the one I lost - which is part of the reason I'm convinced that one was a boy). However, I had morning sickness ALL 9 MONTHS with my daughter. That was fun! So it is possible that you won't have it as bad WHEN you get pregnant again. ♥
from nicolerenee :
Hey there. Well, of course you know how I feel about the whole physic thing. So I won't even go there. ;) But I totally understand being scared of morning sickness. It is horrible! But you know what, they do have medicine for it. Before you even find out you are pregnant, you should ask your doctor about it. Then you might not have to endure it too much. God bless you girl, and I hope that your 'friend' comes asap, so you can quickly start trying to conceive again. :)
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
I've been to a psychic before. It was great fun! I'm glad things are getting back to normal for you.
from jennifergwl :
I just read your whole diary lol! Your wedding was beautiful! What an amazing cake! It made me think about my wedding and I want to go look at my photos haha! I am so sorry about your misscarriage (I hope mentioning it now doesn't upset you too much), I had one in March of 05 and I lost my second son's twin early on. So, I understand how you feel. I'm glad you are ok and can TTC again! I will pray that all goes well and that you will soon get to tell us the wondeful news :)
from jennifergwl :
thanks for adding me :) I added you, too and look forward to getting to know you :)
from mozangeles :
I am so relieved to hear that your results were normal. I just knew everything would be ok. Good luck conceiving! I cannot wait to hear all about it. :) xoxo - me
from blondeness :
I'm so glad to hear all is fine. And good luck to you guys.:) My thoughts and prayers are with you, again, always. Also, thanks for the notes.;)
from theflyingrat :
I'm so glad everything looks normal! Good luck on TTC. I know it will be scary for you - we didn't tell anyone about my pregnancy last time because of our miscarriage. I'm sure things will work out all right & I'll be thinking of you. ♥
from xx-angel-xx :
i'm so glad everything came back normal!! I hope to hear very soon that you're pregnant!!
from nicolerenee :
So happy to hear the tests came back ok. I have had many, many abnormal paps, but that's because I have HPV-so I have to get checked all the time. It sucks, but it's life saving. My prayers are with you and your hubby...and your future child. :)
from heylee :
Glad to hear the good news hon!
from lerin :
SO glad to know that your test came back clear. My heart is with you as you try to conceive again. ((HUGS))
from blondeness :
Glad to hear the possible good news about the pap. As for bowling, I am the same way. I am lucky if I average a 90 or 100. I'm not on the league, but when they have a 9 pin tournament, I'll go for fun. Occasionally I'll get a random strike here and there. Jason and his friends are pretty competitive too and it always makes me feel like the dumb one or something. That's why I quit volleyball. Jason reminded me too much of the jocks in high school whom I lothed and I felt I could never measure up. It became not fun anymore. Anyways, have fun and good luck!:)
from lerin :
You have them!!!
from xx-angel-xx :
((hugs)) i'm sorry you're goin' through this. I hope you get some positive feedback and nothing's wrong ((hugs))
from theflyingrat :
I'm sorry. You're in my thoughts. ♥
from mozangeles :
I know that this is really hard advice to follow, but don't worry until you know that you have something to worry about! I think that you will be fine. An abnormal pap could mean all sorts of things - and I think that your recent gyno issues probably have something to do with it. I know you will be just fine. Hang in there! I heart you. xoxo - me
from blondeness :
My prayers are with you!!!
from blondeness :
((HUGS))
from lerin :
I don't have the words you need to hear, if there are such a thing. But I am glad that you are finding women who connect and relate to your pain. If nothing else, I hope their friendship, support and advice give you some sort of comfort.
from xx-angel-xx :
i'm so sorry jess. i wish i had something to say, ((hugs))
from mozangeles :
I'm sorry that you're having a rough day, sweetie. I just want you to know that I am always here for ya! xoxo - me
from blondeness :
Thanks for the note. I'm glad you liked the poems. Let me know if you care to read more, and I'll email some to you. If not, no biggie, I understand. I hope all is going at least somewhat better for you, emotionally. My prayers are with you.
from theflyingrat :
I'm glad that it helped. It's my only diary that ISN'T locked and that's why. Actually, it's funny (odd funny) to say this (and I've been meaning to add an entry there to this effect for quite some time) but I don't feel much sadness about the miscarriage anymore. I mean, obviously I still wish that things had gone differently but I do see now that there is a reason for everything. So no, you didn't bring up bad memories and I'm glad you left me that comment. It really brightens MY day to know that I've made a positive difference (however big or small) in someone else's life. I'm so so so sorry for what you're going through - it's the hardest thing you'll probably ever have to go through. It was for me. My thoughts are with you. ♥
from mymemry :
I was reading Sue's diary (blondness) and came across your link. I'm so very sorry and my prayers are that you will be able to hold on to your hopes and dreams throughout this time. It sucks - it isn't fair. I'm sorry. Sincerely, Julie
from lerin :
I'm just so sorry you are going through this.
from justagal :
I got your diary from Blondeness. I understand what you are going through and my heart breaks for you right now. I have been through your pain, and I know that nothing makes it any better besides time.
from mozangeles :
Everything that you are feeling (and then some) is perfectly normal considering what you have just gone through, sweetie! If you didn't feel those things, I would be worried about you. I think that your husband and mother-in-law are just having a hard time expressing how they feel about this situation. It's hard to think that others (beyond ourselves) are going through the tough time as well - even if WE are the ones taking the major blow. I bet this must be really hard for Dan, too, and it must be equally as difficult to try and comfort you going through this. The situation with your boss is worrisome - if I were you and could afford it, I would take some personal time off of work. I mean, the last thing you need to be worrying about is someone else's life, worries, stresses, etc. when you've got your own to deal with. It sounds like your boss is not being diplomatic and sensitive to you, either. That is really disturbing. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I heart you, and I am really proud of you for getting through this, even if you are struggling. It shows a lot of strength. I love ya. xoxo - me
from blondeness :
I'm sending this on Monday. First of all, I got your note, and thanks for letting me know you've read all of mine. And how did work go for you today? I read your entry and I cried a little. You don't know how much I can relate. The day after I had my miscarraige, I got a card in the mail from my sister, congratulating me on my pregnancy and it was a cute card with all the "joys" that were to come. Then a friend of mine whom I had dropped out of touch with for a little while called that she was pregnant. She didn't know I had even been pregnant and lost mine, but of course it stung all the same. Everyone around me was pregnant. There were 2 other woman that I worked with who got pregnant around the same time as me. When they had their babies, I had to go off to the bathroom to cry. I was happy for them of course, but you know.....and the whole thing about how people think you should be "over it" or dealing with it better??? My husband at the time, he was "worried" about me when I greived for so long, I will never ever forget the words that came from him, "It was only an embryo." It was not ONLY anything! It was our child that would have been!!! I'm sorry if I'm making you feel any worse. I'll just end this by saying that what helped me a lot was writing. I wrote a lot of poems to let out my feelings and I wrote a lot in my diaries, and I cried a lot, in private, and I shared my feelings and my thoughts with others who had gone through the same thing at fertilethoughts.com. And it took a lot of time, and I still had my "moments" even when I did feel better, but it will happen for you. (((HUGS))) go out to you. Take care of yourself, k? Also, if Dan doesn't understand, I'm not saying he doesn't, but if he doesn't seem to be reacting the same as you? It's different for men. They just grieve in different ways. I had a hard time accepting that with my first husband and it took a toll on our marraige. Ok, I'll shut up now...:)
from xx-angel-xx :
((hugs))
from nicolerenee :
You know, it burns me when people think you should grieve a certain way. You grieve the way YOU want to. Whether that be walking around crying and eating Ben and Jerrys all day, or delving into project after project. It is up to YOU. Maybe you should talk to your MIL about how you are feeling? The silence can only make things worse. Don't be afraid to break down in front of her. You are hurting and NO ONE should tell you otherwise. As far as your work goes, I'm going to pray that your boss just plain chills. You understand that your job is important and I believe you will do what needs to be done. Hugs, hun!
from heylee :
So sorry Jess...(((hugs)))
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
*hugs* So sorry, honey.
from xx-angel-xx :
I am so so sorry Jess. if you ever need to chat with anyone, i'm always here!! ((hugs))
from blondeness :
I am so so sorry Jess....my heart goes out to you so much....:( ((hugs))and prayers go out to you and to your hubby too. Like I said, please know that I am always there, when and if you feel like talking, when nothing anybody says is the right thing and when you feel alone, maybe, in what you feel, you are not, ok? Remember that I've been there and I haven't forgotten it and I'll be there for you, if you want me to, that is.
from nicolerenee :
I'm so sad for you Jess. Nothing that anyone says can make it better. I pray that your procedure goes without a hitch and you feel ultimate peace. God bless you, hun. ♥
from lerin :
This news is absolutely devastating. I'm so sorry. (((HUGS))) and the peace of Christ be with you!!!
from blondeness :
Not knowing has got to be the worst for you. I just can't wait until you hopefully soon get some answers and can just hopefully enjoy the rest of your hopefully (fingers crossed and praying an being hopeful and postive for you!!), healthy pregnancy. ((HUGS)) again!
from lerin :
He is absolutely right. I had not only "spotting" but actual hemorrhaging, and here I am at 32 weeks with an absolutely healthy boy. I have so much hope for you and your baby!!!
from mozangeles :
Isn't spotting also a symptom of early pregnancy? I thought I had read that when I was looking up pregnancy symptoms. I'm still crossing my fingers for you! xoxo - me
from mozangeles :
I cannot wait to hear how your appointment goes today. I am so anxious!!!! xoxo - me
from singlegirl :
Keeping my fingers crossed for you! Please let us know soon! I'm thinking about you!
from xx-angel-xx :
((hugs))
from blondeness :
I will still be crossing my fingers and praying for you. That is much better news! Hurrah! I bet that when you were spotting, that was implantation spotting. I'll be waiting for the updates and hoping along with you. Hang in there! (((HUGS)))
from xx-angel-xx :
oh that is SO wonderful to hear!!!! I'm praying for you and your little one!!! As always, Let us know how the next sonogram goes!!
from blondeness :
I will be praying!!!!
from mozangeles :
Good luck, sweetie. No matter what the outcome is, we are all here for you! I love you! xoxo - me
from lerin :
OH, I am SO hopeful for you! I am holding my breath... waiting for your update!!!
from blondeness :
How dare they jump the gun and tell you that you would eventually miscarry and now it may be just fine? To get you all upset like that could have been potentially dangerous for a normal pregnancy, to put you under that stress. Grrrrr!!! I am glad you found a new OBGYN and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I'll be awaiting the update. (((HUG)))
from nmnohr :
I haven't been on dland for a bit, and I just was catching up. WOW< you've had quite the rollercoaster! I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!!
from xx-angel-xx :
i am SO glad you found a new one!!! I am sending you a TON of warm wishes and luck!!! Let us know how it goes!!! ((hugs))
from mozangeles :
JESS! THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS!!! I knew that doctor sounded shoddy as fuck. That pisses me off royally!!!! Even if this pregnancy turns for the worst, I am glad that you found a new OBGYN!!! YAY!!! I love ya! xoxo - me
from mozangeles :
Hey Jess...this is also Jess (Queen is Jessica)...I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this medical bullshit. This is why I don't trust doctors. They tell you one thing and get you all riled up, and then it turns out that you could be totally normal. This pisses me off, and I feel for you. I love ya. xoxo - me
from lerin :
The not-knowing must be the hardest thing for you right now. You'll be in my prayers, sweetie.
from xx-angel-xx :
I'm sorry. It doesn't seem like you got ANYTHING answered or figured out. I hope Monday's ultrasound is more clear and try to ask tons of questions so you aren't confused. ((hugs)) I hope monday's appointment gives us all high hopes for this pregnancy!!
from stillsingle :
So sorry to hear the news - everything will work out in the end. Lots of women miscarry the first time they become pregnant and go on to get pregnant again and carry full term. I can name at least 10 of my friend and family members that this has happened to. I was just talking to my mom about this and how often it really does happen. Hang in there - you're in my thoughts and prayers.
from eggsaucted :
I can't find the words, so I'll just say ~hugs~!
from blondeness :
I'm soooo so sorry to hear the news....:( ((HUGS)))My heart goes out to you more than you will ever know. When you feel that there is no one out there who will understand, who will truely relate to your grief, who will not minimize it or mean well, but say all the wrong things, know that I will not be one of those people. Know that I have been there too. Anytime you need to bend my ear, don't be afraid to. Another place that might help you get the support you need, or at least read peoples posts who may have gone through the same thing is fertilethoughts.com They have a misscarraige bulliten board on there. Or at least they did, when I was going going through it. Again, (((HUGS))), big ones! To you and to your hubby. My prayers are with all of you.
from lerin :
You definitely deserve, at the very least, some compassion and some questions answered. It is terrible... for them, this may be "routine" and part of their "work," but for YOU... it is a life-altering tragic event.
from xx-angel-xx :
I have no words to express to you. I am just so sorry ((hugs))
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
I just started reading your diary. *hugs* I hope things get better for you soon.
from blondeness :
What I meant was if you lost my email address.
from blondeness :
I just now read your last two entries. (((HUGS))!! I just wanted to let you know I've been there, if you don't already know. And by that, I mean, I had a miscarraige during my first pregnancy, but mine happened differently, the spotting got heavy and didn't stop. And also to reassure you, not to give you false hope, but to try to put your mind at ease, when I was pregnant with Brian, I spotted for about a day, panicked, went to the doctor and all was fine. They said it might have just been implantation spotting and you usually don't need to worry if the bleeding has stopped and not got heavier. As far as the HCC levels though, all I can say is that my heart and my prayers go out to you no matter what may happen, ok? Keep us updated, or email if you want. My email address is [email protected] if you lost it.:) (((HUGS)))
from xx-angel-xx :
i am so so sorry! ((hugs)) I'll be thinkin' of you and your little one!
from lerin :
My heart is breaking for you... ((HUGS))
from lerin :
CONGRATULATIONS!
from heylee :
Congratulations hon!!! So happy for you both!
from xx-angel-xx :
Congratulations!!!!!!! I'm SOO excited for you!!! Congratulations!!!
from singlegirl :
Oh my goodness! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How exciting! September is a good month to be born - take it from me. :) Oh, I can't wait to read all about your pregnancy. No fun with the nausea though. But yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from stillsingle :
Sorry to hear about your Christmas, that sounded horrible. Hopefully your New Years will be better!!
from singlegirl :
Oh no! Sounds like a very adventurous Christmas. I hope you and Dan are both feeling better and everything is back to normal. How are the meds going now? I'm off to look at your wedding photos (I can't believe I haven't done that yet).
from blondeness :
I'm so sorry to hear of your "ill" Christmas. I hope you both feel better very soon and I'll pray for you that you don't get what he has too. You poor things! ((HUGS))
from blondeness :
Merry Christmas!!!
from stillsingle :
Sorry to hear about your funk. I have heard from other brides that after they get married, they have sort of a post-partum depression. You get so caught up in the planning and excitement of your wedding and then you have your honeymoon and then you come home and then what? I'm on theknot all the time and brides that have been married for over a year, still stop by because they don't want it to end, so being a part of other bride's planning helps. I'm sure it will get better...maybe there are some fun post-wedding things you can do like putting together albums for you and your parents?
from blondeness :
I just read your most recent entry. Here's sending ((HUGS)) and hoping that you adjust to your meds soon and pull out of that funk.:(
from blondeness :
Thanks Jess. I hope you had a good holiday too. As for me feeling better, well, I finally did go to the doctor, so hopefully I'm on my way! I thought about the ovulation thing too, but I'm afraid that if I obsess too much or try too hard, that will lessen our chances, if that makes sense? It's just my history with my first husband that is scaring me that we haven't conceived this time around. I keep telling myself that Jason has had 2 kids, so it's not him, and yes, we did have Brian, so we've got to be able to do it again and we will.:) Good luck to you, again.
from nicolerenee :
Thanks hun.
from blondeness :
Ok, cool I'm caught up. Good luck to Dan with his surgery. How have you been feeling now? Any sign of the period yet? Just curious, not nosey.
from blondeness :
I still have to catch up here, about to try to do so. Thanks for your note again and good luck with everything.:)
from starlight42 :
I'm sure the lasik will go well. My sis had it about a year ago, it was painful afterwards, but it worked miracles for her!
from blondeness :
And I just read your last note. I'm behind at your diary? Are you trying too? Congrats and good luck! Wouldn't it be funny if we got pregnant at the same time. I think my period was off the first month after I went off of the pill, in regards to the last note I read by another person.
from blondeness :
Thanks for your note, Jess. Yeah, I have to figure out how to fix my guestbook it's just not working. I have to ask a friend. In the meantime, feel free to use my notes here or to comment on the photos at that site, if you want to. Yeah, we all had fun.Thanks for the compliments.;)
from lerin :
Hmmm... I can't remember if my period was weird after coming off of birth control, but that was six years ago so no wonder. Make a doctor's appointment if you are truly concerned. It will ease your mind, if nothing else! I am excited for you, crossing all my fingers and toes! I can't wait for your big announcement that you're expecting.
from stillsingle :
Congrats on your wedding - you looked beautiful! I can't believe our wedding is less than a year away now. It's so fun planning it, I can't wait for the big day!
from blondeness :
I'm so sorry I haven't read you in so long that here you did an entry a month ago and I didn't read until today that you are now married!!Congrats to you!!! How's married life?;)
from saucy99 :
Congratulations! You look beautiful!
from aloneindark5 :
u: stupid p: people
from lerin :
I sent my password to you at 9:00 this evening. Let me know if you didn't receive it!
from h2ophobic :
I've added you to my favorites. I hope that's OK. Thanks!
from chakra-chick :
Hi love...please provide me with your e-mail addy so that I can send you the passoword.
from jaykay617 :
Hi. I saw that I was on your favorites and I thought I'd stop by and say "hi"! I see you're getting married in a few months - congrats! Believe me, it'll be here and gone before you know it!! Also, I read that you're going to Sandals in Jamaica - that's where we went and it was soooo nice! You'll have fun - as long as the weather cooperates! We had sunshine all week, so I'm sure it'll be just fine for you guys!! Anyhow, thanks for adding me as a favorite and good luck with everything!
from lerin :
I love the engagement photos! You make such an adorable couple. Thank you for adding me to your favorites.
from smedindy :
Oh, and I found you on MySpace, so "you've got a friend"! Take care. And nice pictures...sigh...i remember...
from smedindy :
Thank you very much! I'm smiling! Thanks again and have a great weekend!
from classygirl83 :
OH MY GOSH, Can I just say how much I LOVE your pictures? I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch lately, but I really really LOVE your pictures. I think that is a great way to do your table settings. It's soo sweet and special. You are beautiful!! I can't wait till I get married. DId you have a prefessional photogoher? Or did you have a friend do it? Was it alot of work having to go to all of those places? How did you pick all of those places out? I really love it. I love the music and the slide show. I'm in the middle of closeing my diary down, or I might. actually I'm trying to figure it out.......What I want to do with it, but I just wanted to tell you how much I loved your pictures!!!!
from nmnohr :
Your pictures are beautiful! I absolutely love them!!!
from makinganewme :
Stupid work! Oh well- we will find ways around it! My email is [email protected] if you ever want to get in touch other than on notes! Things have been good! We got approved for a home loan today, but the approval was lower than what I wanted so I am a litle bummed about that. But hey, it's still money towards a home! I'm trying to look at the positives. Other than that not much is new. No myspace drama :) How about you? Are you guys doing okay?
from makinganewme :
Jess-The-Beautiful! I'm glad you updated- I miss your updates! Only 4 months to go- I can't believe it! It seems like yesterday it was a year away! I really, really love the idea of the photos with the velum and place names. Thats unique and sure to catch everyones attention! Way to go! Where were you when I was planning my wedding? :) Have a fantastic weekend!!!
from beachbride06 :
JESS!!!!!!!! I unlocked it! sorry girl, had to do it the other night... what is your knottie name :) i am obsessed STILL. after all this time.. the NJ*lOC*al*boar*d.... i will find you my love!
from jamsjunction :
Thank you for the very kind note, and the add. Have a great week!
from eggsaucted :
I'd lend you my vacation time if I could. We only get three weeks as well, but we also get two weeks of sick time and 4 personal days. I've been there 2.5 years and I have 4 plus weeks of vacation accumulated and 3 weeks of sick time. It's nuts. Anyway, hope things are going well.
from starlight42 :
It sounds to me that you're having the wedding in the city YOU live in, most likely for more convenience for you and the groom. That's who's most important the wedding day...it's nice when it can be in a convenient location for everyone, but that never happens! You guys will be the ones running all over town to get tuxes, hair done, makeup, pictures etc. We actually ended up having our wedding Madison Heights- where we both grew up in, and not far from Warren. It just so happens in was kind of in the middle for our family coming from the West side like Farmington Hills and those from the East like Sterling Heights. We also chose the location though based on the facility that we found we liked the best!
from beachbride06 :
Hey Jess! I haVE BEEN sooo behind on this thing... i am on myspace more ;) I wish i had an aquatics class around here.. i would SOOOO Do it with you!!! i gota little less than 2 months, you have 6... time flies, doesnt it!!! good luck with the planning!!! :) muah!
from blondeness :
I've been so behind on reading and I'm such a blonde, that I didn't even realize, until you signed my GB today, that you've been back! Yay!!! I just caught up on your entries! Welcome back.:) Good luck with the getting in shape and the wedding plans. Have you found your dress? And yeah, it takes a while to get used to a new name! I had to do it twice, and I can't count how many checks I had to void when I got married the second time around, signing it with my former married name, and Jason would tease me that I'd rather have *that* name, but it was all in good fun.
from starlight42 :
Hope you were still able to enjoy St Patty's day even though your work sucks. :( Yay- only 6 more months!! That's the same exact resort we went to, you'll love it!! Just make sure to get to dinner early- like within an hour of when the restaurants open. Because after that they will have hour waits, or some, if you get there too late, even an hour or hour and half before closing, they won't be able to seat you at all. As for the married name, strangely enough, haven't had a problem at all.
from beachbride06 :
user ID: jennlynn24 password: jennlynn24
from imadad2 :
I don't think she has a guy on the side. However, two different therapists I talked to asked me that question. Some jealous or over controlling partners have cheated on their spouses and become controlling out of guilt and fear that their partner will get even. It is a simple test. If she hides the flowers and pretends she never got them, I know something is up. I don't think she cheated on me. Her previous spouse did cheat on her, so that is why I think she is so untrusting.
from xx-angel-xx :
awe, that would be so much fun going to the super bowl!! I know a lot of steeler fans pay a whole bunch for tickets, if you're looking for the money, hopefully he finds someone who will buy them if not, have fun at the super bowl!! :)
from kiki1206 :
this diary is actually going to be just for me. a girl needs some secrets..... you can also check me out at my myspace. i can't remember the address right now but just go under search and type in my email address which is [email protected] enjoy :)
from blondeness :
awwww...so sorry to see you are leaving here! I will have to check you out at myspace, when I get the chance to.
from blondeness :
Merry Christmas!!!
from blondeness :
Just wishing you and yours a happy Thanksgiving!
from lightupnight :
Thanks for the note and thank you for I name suggestions. We've been talking a lot and don't think we're going down that road. I really don't like boys I names and I don't like enough girl I names. I make it sound like I don't know what I'm having and I do although I haven't told anyone else about it yet but I'm also thinking for future reference if we're to have anymore kids, you know? Anyways! I added you as a favourite!!!
from perfect-race :
I just wanted to say that you look gorgeous in the pictures!!! It looks like you had a fun weekend :)
from nmnohr :
Just found your diary, hope you don't mind me checking it out!! I love it so far!
from nicolerenee :
Thanks! :) And you really think that Kyra looks like me? I don't see it, Chris says she does, maybe I'm just blind! lol xoxo ♥ PS You and Dan DO look like siblings, I think it's your eyes. Anyway, cute pics, you too are sooo cute together!!
from soverycherry :
You are SO photogenic! I am jealous. The pictures are great.
from xx-angel-xx :
awww, thank you for your lovely note!!! Haha, that was funny, the part about your mom... I'm really and truly hoping to wait until marriage before having sex again.. i know a long shot, blah blah. lol.. but, I will probably have to think about the IUD, thanks :) I hope you have a great day!
from xx-angel-xx :
I wish I could go onto the pill to go back to having my periods reg. but, when I'm on the pill, even the lesser strength ones, it made my migraines 20 times worse and made my body go numb. The nurse told me to wait 4 more weeks and if its not reg. by then, i'm sure i'll make an appointment. Thanks for the note! I know, i'm sure logan's sleeping habits are just a phase, atleast I only have that problem with him.
from blondeness :
Thanks for the note! It's funny because I *just* left you another note, to come to my notes and see yours and I thought, " Wow! That was fast!" Thanks for the compliments on Brian.:) We've already decided for sure that we will try for Baby #2 come Spring, maybe in April. Then if I get pregnant by May, the baby will come in January. I don't want it too close to Brian's bday or too close to Christmas and I want to try to get Brian potty trained before then too! We're going to start potty training Brian after the holidays this year, or more like Jan. of the upcoming year.
from blondeness :
Great photos! Your hair looked so cute for the wedding. It's funny because I just read the note below about you and Dan looking alike and I've thought that before too!
from xx-angel-xx :
cute pictures!
from aliboomboom :
Cute pictures!! You and Dan kind of look alike, has anyone ever told you that before?
from blondeness :
If you lock your diary, I want the password too! How was the wedding? I have one to go to this weekend myself.
from heylee :
Can I pretty please have the password if you lock up?
from xx-angel-xx :
if you lock up, I'd like to be able to continue reading :)
from makinganewme :
Ditto to what singlegirl said!
from singlegirl :
If you lock up, I would love the password...
from aliboomboom :
Taylor had some issues with "friends" of hers so she deleted her account. It's really sad, I've known of a couple different people who had to do that. As for Noble, I don't know how to contact him. I'm kind of mad at my sister because she wouldn't let us go where he said he would be. I wasn't mad at the time but now that I've had time to stew over it. She gets jealous and does stuff like that. Now I have to find him again, he's just perfect.
from aliboomboom :
I love fall too but I'll definately be complaining come winter!!
from aliboomboom :
I noticed the same thing, isn't that awful? I was like Gosh we look amazing together. I guess because I had that huge crush on him for so many years that I kind of have him on this pedestal and I never think I'm good enough for him. I hope I see him again. I didn't give him my number when I saw him on Saturday. I'm such a dumb dumb dumb girl.
from icyjewel :
Yay! I appreciate you adding me to your favorites. :) I will have to return the favor because I just started checking out your diary as well.
from icyjewel :
Thanks for the note you left on my last entry. I really appreciate your kind words!
from chakra-chick :
Thanks so much for the note and for adding me...I shall be returning the favour. I haven't had to chance to read your diary, but I will when I have some more time. Have a good day further. ~smooches~ P.S. I will send you the neccessary details for my private diary via e-mail.
from blondeness :
Thank you for your note as well. Yes, Brian is a little character, lol! I'm glad you enjoy my entries.:)I can't wait to read about when you are a mom one day too, but first I can't wait to read about that wedding.;)
from makinganewme :
Florida looks like so much fun. Where were the table kegs at? Michael would LOVE that. The bridesmaids dresses are BEAUTIFUL (they are the same color mine were, too) It's going to be such a pretty wedding with a gorgeous bride!!
from starlight42 :
The hotel you stayed at looked awesome- and so did the table keg! I've never seen one before. Like the bridesmaids dress too- is that just the color, or the exact dress?
from saucy99 :
Nice pictures and I must say, your dog is such a sweetheart! I used to have a golden retriever too who I loved to death. I think they are the best breed, just love them!
from blondeness :
So glad you had a great time in Florida! You two make such a cute couple!!!:) I loved the Bridemaid dress too.:)
from xx-angel-xx :
You are Very Pretty!!! That pool looks so awesome! Looks like a fun time you two had! I LOVE the bridesmaid dresses and I Love the color, they are So pretty! Whens your wedding?(sorry if you've mentioned this, when it comes to dates, I'm horrible!)
from alwaysaroura :
At this point, I defiantely think it would be best for me not to go to GA. BUT as much as I wish I didn't care about what my mother and father think, I do. I want them to love me. I want them to be happy with me. I don't want to disappoint them. Why do children always feel like this regardless of how very awful their parents are?
from alwaysaroura :
Oh Florida, have fun. Are you going to Disney World? I love it. And sex in hotel rooms, awesome. Can't wait to hear how the trip was.
from xx-angel-xx :
I hope you have a wonderful tim ein florida!! And thank you for your note about Logan :)
from aliboomboom :
Have fun in Florida, it's always fun to be around people who have never flown!! I hope that you both end up having a great time!! And yay for winning the raffle!!
from blondeness :
I just caught up and am sooo glad to hear that good news about your dog!!!:)
from singlegirl :
I like dresses 3,4,5 - they are similar though, so that might be why I like them all. I like the flowers in the 3rd photo too. Too fun!
from starlight42 :
Love the colors. I like dress 3 and flowers #1 :)
from heylee :
I love the tea length bridesmaid dresses, and the colors are going to be so PRETTY!!! Beautiful flowers!
from aliboomboom :
It is going to be so pretty. If I ever get married, I'm going to do a fall or winter wedding. They are so lovely!!
from makinganewme :
I am in love with your colors! I think I am biased though because those were my colors too. The bridesmaids dresses were a candy apple red with ivory trim, and the flowers were mixes of that reddish color, mauves, ivories, ect. It will be so beautiful!! What is the date again?
from aliboomboom :
I'm praying for her!! You need to update more, I miss you!!
from xx-angel-xx :
awww, I hope all is well with Annie. i'm hoping and praying for it only to be stage 1 ((hugs)) Let us all know what the results are! ((hugs))
from singlegirl :
I'm unlocked now :) How's the puppy?
from blondeness :
So sorry to hear the bad news! (((HUGS))) and positive thoughts going out from me to you, Dan, and the Dog...:(
from singlegirl :
I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I hope it's just stage one and that everything will be fine. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way.
from aliboomboom :
I am so sorry to hear about your dog!! It's just awful. You will be in my thoughts!! Best of luck.
from heylee :
Awww hon, I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I'll keep you all in my prayers.
from horseshoes :
I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. It is scary when you find those lumps. I was fortunate with Katie last week and it was a fatty cyst. I freaked and went ahead and had it removed. I'll be crossing my fingers for you. Good luck.
from makinganewme :
Ohh Jessica honey, I'm so sorry! I'll be praying!!
from blondeness :
Oh, and I love the wedding dress too! I saw and ivory one almost just like it in a store window in my town recently.:)
from blondeness :
I just now finally got caught up on your journal. I loved the photos! That beagle puppy looks JUST like Lou did at that age!!! Those big ears! And your little brother is a cutie too...:)
from singlegirl :
Thank you for your note about my grandpa. I'm glad to hear that you are enjoying life. I love to hear about wedding details, so keep them coming!
from aloneindark5 :
Yeah, sorry I thought that I emailed it to you. U/N: imalone P/W: andbroken
from starlight42 :
I love the wedding dress! It's gorgeous!!!
from xx-angel-xx :
Awe, I'm loving the pictures!!
from makinganewme :
Awww- too freaking cute!!
from heylee :
Oh my gosh!!! I want to just pick up pudge and eat him up! That beagle is too cute! Keep the photos coming. hehe :D
from makinganewme :
To be really honest about it- I was pretty worried for a while as well. It was just an awful position to be put in- stuck between him and my mom- and really it was only hurting one person and that was me. I finally just had to make the decision to be completely honest with both of them and things did get better. Sometimes Michael can act like such a kid but then I have to remind myself that thats part of why I love him so much- he brightens my day being silly. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I want to ring his neck but for the most part I forget to write how good he is to me sometimes and usually just write about the times I'm upset. I get what you are saying about your mom- it is similar. It gets frustrating at times but then I remind myself she is my mom and she did do a lot for me- I should only be gracious and return the favors. She will learn one day. I just hope it isn't too late and she doesn't look back and regret all the years shes wasted on him. Shes got so much to give to someone and I just wished she'd find someone who would return it all.
from makinganewme :
Things with Michael and I are wonderful. We're planning a weekend vacation with his cousin (my best friend) and her boyfriend for the end of August. I'm super excited. Things with my mom...ehh, not great. Willie brought the remainder of his stuff and is officially living with her now. He's decided not to get a full time job but to do odd jobs on the side (he's a mechanic) so basically- live off of my mom. I haven't spoken to him or seen him since he's been here and contact with my mom has been minimum. I'm upset with her and I'm not. I think she should know better, but then I love her and just want her to be in my life no matter what. it's always been a difficult situation with her for as long as I can remember.
from makinganewme :
Time flies when you're having fun! I can't believe that my anniversary is almost here. We were married Sept 18th. I only gave myself 10 months to plan the wedding and looking back- I was crazy. You definetly need all that time to get it all done and still be sane. It does seem like a lifetime away now, but it will be here before you know it- and then you and Dan will have the rest of your lives together. Aww!!!
from makinganewme :
Oh that sounds like sooo much fun! I want my honeymoon back, lol! You might have said but I didn't catch it- when is the exact date?
from heylee :
The dress is gorgeous and your doggy is too cute!
from makinganewme :
Oh I love the pictures, keep them coming! Happy Belated birthday! The dress is gorgeous and the cake sounds delicious!! Are you taking a honeymoon?
from singlegirl :
Gorgeous dress!
from heylee :
Great Pics!!! And happy late birthday!
from starlight42 :
which one is you though? the left or the right? don't you just love digital cameras?? Happy belated birthday!
from krugerpak007 :
Have a wonderful birthday tomorrow! xoxox
from alwaysaroura :
I definately think that being a parent is something that has to be taken seriously and I want to be sure that I'm up for the commitment before I jump in. At the same time, sometimes I think it's best for it to be a surprise because then you don't overthink everything and you just fall in love with the baby and I love that. I don't know. Part of me wants to adopt. Sometimes I feel as if people are infertile for a reason, ya know? Not necessarily that they are not meant to be parents, just that they are meant to be someone's parents that are already here or that are going to come into a bad situation. It really intrigues me more than having biological children. As for the wedding pictures, thanks for the compliment. I really don't have any more on the computer so that's it for now. If I ever find the disk or get them scanned, I'll post more. I just don't like to deal with computer stuff like that!!
from nicolerenee :
Thanks! :) xoxo ♥
from starlight42 :
cool- glad to hear you booked! you'll love it!
from starlight42 :
I love Brian McKnight!! Bet the concert was awesome. As for Sandals, the resort itself was wonderful. It was gorgeous. The food was excellent. The staff was super friendly and kind. A few of the disappointments were: the room wasn't anything spectacular, Jamaicans are always late (one tour we took left a full hour later than it was scheduled for) and, at 3 seperate restaurants the waiters were pretty bad. One completely forgot to put our food order in, so we were there for 2 and a half hours! And, in addition to that 3 seperate waiters kept forgetting to bring our drinks. It was so bad each time, that after asking 3 times, Dave went to the bar and got our drinks. That really sucked. Word of advice, eat what you can before you get to the resort. Depending on the day you arrive- we arrived Monday and Monday is beach party day so when we got there at 4:30pm all of the restaurants were closed and we were starved! Hadn't eaten a meal since the day before, only snacks. Anyway, we had to wait until 6:30pm to eat. Also, the food is great, but keep in mind the portions are very moderate. I think they do this so that you have room to order an appetizer, soup or salad, your meal and dessert. So if you want an appetizer, both of you order one. For instance, I ordered bruchetta, it was 3 crouton sized pieces of bread, I kid you not. So there's no way to really share that. Try the water sports, they're really fun! Talk to the locals and bar tenders, they'll chat about anything. Take a tour to see the island, it's awesome.
from xx-angel-xx :
Thank you for the happy birthday :)
from heylee :
He's going to be a paramedic/firefighter. He was an emt/firefighter for almost 3 years, but to get into certain stations, they only want medics, so he's off to get his cert for that. It definitely takes a certain kind of person to do that kind of job. Especially in Detroit! But, you're right, there are some good things about that chosen profession. ;)
from imadad2 :
I could not have said it any better. Just when I think things are going pretty good, they revert back to the old ways. She has a therapy session on Friday and I hope that brings her out of this. If not, I am going to have to relook at a divorce.
from aliboomboom :
Aw, thank you and yes it must be possible because I feel the same way!!
from aliboomboom :
It is lonely being single, isn't it? I hate it.
from heylee :
It WILL be ok, hehe. Have a good day.
from aliboomboom :
Cookie received some threats from one of her readers so she had to get rid of her diaryland account and her myspace account. The woman that threatened her is obviously psycho. It's really sad. Cookie will be missed.
from lifeasme66 :
Hi there, just wanted to say thanks for adding me as a fave! The pleasure is all mine =) Have a nice day! **HUGS!!**
from quinngirl33 :
hey i got your email but deleted it and i forgot your email address. i would leave it here but you never know. just email me again and we'll try it one more time. i am a bit slow sometimes.
from heylee :
Ok back again. Just one more...(can you tell I'm bored at work?) If you still need to know how to link, type in this: <a href="(copy and paste address of page you want linked)">(word you want people to click on in your diary)</a> But before you post that, take out the (). If you already found out how to link, just disregard this note. And if this is completely confusing, really sorry about that. :D I think the %% shortcut is all wacky from the crash on d-land...
from heylee :
For some reason, I just NOW saw your entry on being tagged by me. Thanks for filling it out. And by the way, Brian(my fiance) and I, of course had to rush right out and buy ladder 49 when it went to DVD also. It was a good movie, but it still made me bawl like a baby.
from horseshoes :
username: horse password: shoes
from heylee :
Holy Cow!!! You get TWO cookies! haha. Good job. :D
from aliboomboom :
Yea, I know that they were married. They've been together since the show started, I think. Sophia is gorgeous. She got her hair cut for a new movie and it looks great, she has bangs. Chad Michael Murray gets on my nerves. I've seen some reality tv shows with him and he is such the whiny baby. I can't satnd that.
from heylee :
Thanks girlie!
from sweet-cynic :
thanks for the note you left a few days ago. i see you have q&a up! well if it isnt too late here are mine. 1. what house hold chore do you actually enjoy doing? 2. if money wasn't an issue, what would be a great gift you can buy your fiance? 3. when was the last time you left your state and where did you go and why?>
from blondeness :
One of my/our favorite memories is of *our* first date too! (and he came to my place too, even though we met online!) It was such a great all day long date and it set the impression for our relationship to follow...:)
from singlegirl :
These are *easy* questions... What are your top 5 favorite TV shows (since you like to watch TV)? What is your favorite, can't live without, beauty product? What is your ideal vacation?
from makinganewme :
Okay (1) What is your favorite memory (other than your engagement) of your time with Dan so far? (2) What is something you couldn't live without on a daily basis (besides the obvious--food, water) and (3) Has there been anything in your life that you've done/said that you'd take back in an instant if you could?
from blondeness :
Ok....hmm...3 questions....some I might already know, but may have forgotten: 1. How old are you? 2. How long have you and Dan been together now? 3. How many kids do you plan on having? Or is that too soon to ask, lol?
from xx-angel-xx :
ooh, Thanx. I feel so dumb now, lol. :)
from heylee :
I just noticed you added me to your buddylist, so I checked out your diary too. I read the page about going through other buddy's buddylists and reading them but never adding them(if that makes any sense, high five for you!) and it had me laughing out loud since I do that too. Congrats on the engagement! You are on a roll with your planning, I'm jealous. I hope my procrastination from high school doesn't come and bite me in the butt with this wedding planning stuff...Well, I'll catch up on your diary and I'll add you to my list too if ya don't mind. :D
from krugerpak007 :
My best friend went to Cuba for her honeymoon to an all inclusive..If you would like the details I could get them In fact they enjoyed it so much they went back to the same place for a vacation not long ago. Her pictures are beautiful. It looked like paradise there. Wedding planning is so exciting! Take care and have a good weekend. xoxox
from jennlynn24 :
AWW GIRL!!! I wanna check out your diary. thanks for reading and congrats on your engagement!!!! the knot is sooo addicting i cant even begin to tell you.. I am obsessed! im gonna catch up on your life, if you dont mind!!! :) Have a great weekend!
from starlight42 :
Sandals all the way!!! My friend just got back, she loved it. We're going in June, I'm sure we'll love it.
from classygirl83 :
The wedding plans seem to be moveing right along!! Yay! Thanx for the B-day wishes. Have a great day:)
from makinganewme :
St. Lucia. Aruba. I'm so jealous!! Glad things are moving along...I love when I log on and your name lights up :)
from lanne :
I love the first dress - so beautiful! Isnt' wedding dress shopping so much fun? It makes you feel like a princess!
from sweet-cynic :
oh 1 mroe thing... 3!!!
from sweet-cynic :
thanks for the note :) gotta run but will check back soon.
from stillsingle :
I'd say 1 or 3...but 3 is gorgeous! Have you tried any of them on? How do they look?
from nicolerenee :
Number 3 is gorgeous!!!! I love the detail in the front with the seam split open. Beautiful!
from xx-angel-xx :
Hi, Thanx For Adding me to your favs, and thank you for the comment as well. I will read through your diary also. Oh, The wedding dresses you have linked are beautiful! I reallly love dresses 1 and 3. Tough decision.
from tfrunner262 :
Hi, thanks so much for adding me. It must be so much fun to be planning a wedding, I LOVE the third dress!!! Take care, ~luvs~
from rdhdprincess :
Hello! Thanks for adding me, and I already know that you are crazy because you like my diary and I'm not exactly sane. Still, thanks! Anyways, all 3 dresses are absolutely gorgeous, that is a tough choice! I think maybe #2 is my favorite. I love the v-neck, and something about the neck and the boobs being kind of pointy just doesn't look right on number one. Of course 3 is stunning.....
from pinklady877 :
I love the third one :)
from horseshoes :
Wow, those are so pretty. I like the third one!
from singlegirl :
All 3 are gorgeous, but I think my favorite is dress # 1. How exciting!
from princesstosh :
I like #1 and #3. Number 3 is really gorgeous but logically I want to tell you that carrying around that train (even though it's small) is a pain. I had to carry my small one around and it constantly pissed me off (but it looked good in pictures!!). If you have pretty shoulders (I'm sure you do!!) I'd go with #1. I dont know--it's such a hard decision. I tried on a million that I loved and it came down to when I put the one I bought on, it fit like a glove. It just felt perfect and I just knew it was the one. Best of luck!!!
from soverycherry :
Oh, I simply *love* dress #3 - it looks like something I'd want for myself. All of them are pretty but that one is my definite favorite!
from thaichic :
The first dress is my pick. I don't know what you look like so I can't really judge what I think would look better on you. I'm thinking any wedding gown is going to be gorgeous on you. All three of these kind of have the same look going on. They're all very nice. Enjoy planning this wedding because it's going to be over so quick.
from blondeness :
It's so easy to get all wrapped up in wedding planning. It can be hectic and stressful, but so much fun! And the earlier you plan things, the more time you have in the end to tend to the last minute fine details. You'll be amazed that all that planning and then BOOM it's over in one day and then afterwards, you might be kind of bored that you don't have the wedding to plan anymore and you don't know what to do with your time, ha, ha!
from princesstosh :
Jessica, you always make me feel so much better. Sometimes when I feel a certain way about things that happen with Michael, or I feel alone in them, there you are leaving me a note saying Dan has done the exact same thing and I don't feel alone anymore. I love how you and I relate on that. Thanks so much!! Also, I saw the note below about how wedding planners are bitches, or whatever. I love the line in the movie The Wedding Planner where Jennifer Lopez says "Those who can't wed, plan" I bet it's really true. Maybe they feel the need to be mean because they're jealous they arent getting married!
from aliboomboom :
I totally though I had already emailed it to you. I don't know what Jessica I emailed it to then. Uh oh. I'll do it now.
from starlight42 :
You'll soon learn that the women who work in brial shops can be all around bitches for NO reason. It's not just you. So try not to let it get you down, the ones like that, I just walked out of. They didn't get my business!! Oh- and you might want to try the shop I got mine- I know they had a few racks of plus sizes- it's called Once Again Bridal and it's in Clinton Township. I can get you the number and address if you want. The great thing about them is that they have clearanced dresses, last year's fashions, even some used dresses (cleaned of course!). The prices are spectacular compared to what you'd pay anywhere else. Also, they do alterations and their costs are HALF of the other stores I looked at & asked alt. prices. That's a major savings!! Good luck.
from singlegirl :
I hope you find fantastic dresses - I've never even thought about having to ask about plus sized dresses. Great. That lady sounds like a lifesaver. I cannot tell you how many times I've thought about starting my own plus sized store. The choices out there are overly priced, cheaply made and tacky. Even "trendy" stores like Lane Bryant (which is where I do most of my shopping) make me angry. Easy solution would be to lose weight, which is what I'm working on, but seriously! Do you have a Kohl's in your area? Supposedly Daisy Fuentes has a plus size line there that's young and "trendy". I'll believe it when I see it - have a good weekend.
from thaichic :
This is my 2nd wedding coming up within the last year that I'm honored as a bridesmaid. And both time when I went shopping for my gown I have just wanted to cry because the bridal rarely carry anything over a 12 and I'm an 18. So I can't get the idea of what it would look like on me. Wedding planning should be a happy time, not a depressing time. That lady sounds wonderful and I know you'll experience will go much better than mine. Plus you seem much more of a positive woman than me. Good luck and have tons of fun, because other than the trying on of bridesmaid dresses, I had a blast with wedding planning.
from aliboomboom :
People who work in Bridal stores can be such bitches!! I hope you hav good luck and find the perfect dress!! I'm sure you'll look beautiful!!
from princesstosh :
Hey girl. I hear your frustration. Have you tried Davids Bridal? That's where I got mine and they had a GREAT selection of plus size gowns. You can look at them online, too. They werent on the snobbish side either. The dress shop lady sounds fabulous. Clothes are getting easier to find here, but I remember a while back it was fustrating to go clothes shopping because nothing fit right, or nothing in my size was cute. Anyways good luck dress shopping (and get lots of sleep the night before because putting those things on and taking them off is no easy task--they're soo heavy!!)
from classygirl83 :
Okay~~ I have to comment on this. I know how you feel with buying a plus sized wedding dress! (Well, maybe not a wedding dress, but you know) I hate it! It's like everyone is rude because you're plus sized, and plus plus sized clothes aren't as cute and don't fit as well, as none plus size!! So, In the end i can sympathize with you I'm glad to hear that there is a plus sized wedding dres s shopp! I might have to come up there when I get married which will be enos from now I'm sure.
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the compliment regarding Griffin. Being engaged is exciting but I can see how it could wear off. Just try to enjoy it!
from nicolerenee :
I'm here, silly! I came back about 4 days ago..happy reading.
from princesstosh :
Fake food for fake people, I laughed until I almost cried at that!! I'll have to remember that for next time. That would make her fall over dead. Awww, too bad. (Oh that was too cruel!)
from princesstosh :
Ouch on the ER incident. Are you all better now? I guess the glamour of engagement does wear off after a little bit. You have to repeat the wedding date 5641265 times. Then after you get married people will ask when you're having children 1564615 times. Sometimes you just want to say "leave me the hell alone!!" but it would be rude ;) Have a great day!
from starlight42 :
So sorry I missed your entry where you got engaged, otherwise I would have sent you a congrats note...but better late than never! Anyway, I saw the pics of the rings you like, that's my style exactly :) Great minds...Anyway, unfortunately, the excitement of engagement does wear off, esp. when people stop asking you about it as much. Get ready for a ride though- the planning is crazy! good luck
from blondeness :
Sorry to hear of your ER experience. OUCH! I never experienced that (knock on wood), but it sounds very painful and scary. I can TOTALLY relate to you about having obligations every single day of the week! I've been having so many weeks AND weekends like that lately. And everytime I think I am finally going to be back on my normal 8-2 work schedule AND finally be able to go straight home after 2, not run around for my Mom or run errands, etc. something almost ALWAYS comes up....grrrrr!!! Hugs go out to you!! Hope you have a great time on Thursday night!
from singlegirl :
Even though the newness is wearing off, I bet it's still fun and exciting to talk about your "fiance" instead of your "boyfriend". Congratulations on the weight loss - 12 pounds is awesome. I think you gave them to me:)! And I so hear you on the ovarian cyst - I had them not too long ago and was in pain for over 48 hours! The bad thing is that once you get them, you are more prone to get them again - so unfair! Take care, and congratulations again!
from princesstosh :
I was just reading your note to singlegirl involving weight issues and I wanted to say it sounds like you have a very sweet (and smart) mother in law. You got lucky!! ;) Also, fill us in on the first couple of weeks of being engaged. Are you still showing the ring off to everyone you see?? Thats the best part!!!
from quinngirl33 :
sorry, too much drama concerning the diary lately. i am going to keep it to myself for a bit and just let things settle. i think this is the only way i can let go. i will be back though.
from kris-tee :
OMG! CONGRATS! That is so great! I am so excited for you! This is one of the reasons I love diaryland, I can remember when Dan and you first started dating! I remember leaving you notes about him! I am so excited for you guys!
from blondeness :
I forgot to mention that your wedding date is just 2 days after Brian's Birthday! Fall is a beautiful time for a wedding.:)
from tommy212 :
diaryland is stupid and won't let me unlock my diary. for now, username is tom, password is tom.
from kris-tee :
Congrats! My user name is kristy and the password is blake1717
from princesstosh :
CONGRATS!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! I got online this morning and asked Ali if I missed anything important yesterday (I took the day off to move) and she said Jess1976 got engaged. I almost burst!!!! You deserve every bit of happiness that gets thrown your way!!
from feesticka :
Congratulations! You must be so excited. We paid for our wedding as well, and we also had a year and half long engagement. The wait was totally worth it -- no wedding debt! Can't wait to see pics of your rock!
from saucy99 :
WOW! That sounds so romantic! Congratulations!
from singlegirl :
Congrats! First off, you guys are getting married on my birthday and secondly, I think we might have picked out the same ring! Mine (and no, I'm not engaged yet) is a princess cut with diamonds surrounding it - it's a big glittery rectangle! Sound right? Congrats again! What a wonderful surprise!
from pinklady877 :
Congratulations, Jess, I'm really happy for you! ♥
from blondeness :
OMG!!! Your entry made me CRY!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOo happy for you!!! Congratulations!!! How thoughtful and romantic of him, the way he set it all up!!!:)
from thaichic :
Congratulations! That's so terrific.
from soverycherry :
Congratulations! I'm glad you had such a great time on your special weekend!
from aliboomboom :
How wonderful! Happy one year anniversary and happy engagement! I can't wait to see pictures!
from classygirl83 :
I'm SOOOO happy for you!!! Congratulations!!!! That's awsome:)
from silverscorp :
Hey Jess I'm moving to another diary. If you would like the url let me know.
from stillsingle :
I'm locked now - username is stillsingle; password is sunshine. Hope everything is going well for you and Dan! :)
from blondeness :
I'm just letting you know that I am still here, and still reading you!;) Good luck with everything.:)
from aliboomboom :
Congratulations on your one year anniversary!! And good luck getting engaged!
from aliboomboom :
I know you are right. It is better to know but I want it to go so well and I know that it won't go as well as I hoped it too. And I don't think it would be as weird if we didn't know each other so well but we do know one another and it's like even more odd that way, ya know?
from aliboomboom :
I know it seems like I make excuses for us not to meet, right? I am definately scared to meet him. I am just afraid that after we meet, it'll move so fast and become serious and I don't know that I'm ready for all that. I adore Brandon, I would go as far to say that I could eventually fall in love with him. And sure it is scary but I will eventually take that plunge. Ski season ends on the 13th and he's done with his firefighting classes on the 18th so there shouldn't be any excuses for either of us after that. Just give me a little more time, I swear it'll happen. Thanks for caring!
from aliboomboom :
Oh getting engaged is so exciting. I can't wait to hear about the whole thing, the proposal, the ring, everything. I'm a glutton for romance. As for dieting, it sucks. I've been motivated recently though and I think next week I'll start running A LOT. It helps so much. I need to lose 50 pounds, that is a small child.
from starlight42 :
Sorry to hear about your grandpa :(
from princesstosh :
Hey sweetie. I've been worrying about you. Again, I am so sorry. I'm glad that Dan was supportive. I know that we've had talks about how our men drive us crazy at moments but it's good to know that when they're really needed, they come through. (They are good for something after all hee hee!)+
from blondeness :
It's good to see you back and to hear that you had a good Valentine's day.:)
from aliboomboom :
Happy Valentine's Day. I hope that you and Dan enjoy it!
from stillsingle :
Sorry to hear about your grandpa. My grandma passed away 2 years ago, it was really hard on me. She was the only grandparent I ever knew. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care.
from saucy99 :
So sorry to hear about your loss. My sincere condolences. I wish you and your family all the best in getting through this difficult time.
from blondeness :
I'm so sorry to hear about you and your family's loss. (((HUGS))) and condolences being sent your way.
from nicolerenee :
I'm sorry for your loss, there are just never words to say in this kind of situation. Be strong.
from classygirl83 :
I'm sooooooo sorry about your grandpa, I can't imagine, i'll definatly keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. ::HUGGS::
from aliboomboom :
I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost one of my grandfathers a few years ago and I know its' terribly hard. Thinking of you!!
from princesstosh :
Oh, Jess, I am so sorry. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Take care!
from soverycherry :
I am terribly sorry for you and your family's loss. I'll be thinking about you!
from singlegirl :
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandpa. I'll be thinking about you and your family this week. Take care of yourself.
from pinklady877 :
Oh, Jess. I'm so sorry about your Grandpa. You and your family are in my thoughts. ♥
from princesstosh :
Can i get your email address?
from starlight42 :
wow- I can't believe the court is making you guys put the fence back up. Is there some kind of ordinance that you have to have a fence?! It doesn't make too much sense since your neighbors have fences...unless they are worrying about dogs or something? Weird.
from alwaysaroura :
That's terrible about court. I miss reading you. Think of something to write about. Thanks for the note. I really needed some positivity that day.
from princesstosh :
Hey. Sorry about the court case. But, I bet you will have fun watching them pick weeds!!! I get those disgusted feelings too. Hang in there~ but remember money isnt everything, even if you need it. You need him too.
from nicolerenee :
Sure, I can make you one, no prob...just email me with the colors and what you want (pictures, etc). eamil is nrwilcoxATyahoo.COM
from lolamae :
Hey, sorry to hear about the case. As for the overnight thing, been there done that. That is hard. I hate staying by myself overnight too. I feel your pain.
from nicolerenee :
Hey girlie, long time no read..lol. I noticed that you have a diaryland template, would like me to make a layout for you? Just leave me a note to let me know! :)
from lolamae :
Ooh! I like! I think I will borrow that one.
from alwaysaroura :
Thanks for the positive note and for thinking about me and Taylor. It's so hard to live without the person that you love. It's easy to do it before you know what you are missing out on but once you meet them, you never want to be apart. Hopefully we will survive this.
from alwaysaroura :
I'm not so worried about weight or babies right now. I don't know if I ever want them anyways which is why I don't get why he's so upset about this. I just sit in this dark house and cry all the time. Where is he? I can't find him. His secretary won't put me through. Have I really messed things up this bad and if so what do I do now?
from alwaysaroura :
I did have a great Christmas. I hope that you did too! The rings are great and keep posting pictures, I love them!!
from starlight42 :
LOVE the rings- that's exactly my taste!! Liked the pics too, I love seeing what people look like. We're getting married at St. Vincent church in Madison Heights & then the reception is at Farina's in Berkely. They're a great place, and a great value- when you start looking at places you should check it out.
from lolamae :
Good luck with the fence thing. It sounds like you have a better case against them, than they do you.
from aliboomboom :
I will be thinking about you guys on Friday. Surely the judge won't make you go with the highest estimate. That is so stupid. I hate it when people are anal about stuff like that!!
from lolamae :
Oh, and the rings are gorgeous.
from lolamae :
Thanks for the advice.
from soverycherry :
Love the rings! So pretty, wow.
from stillsingle :
Jess, the rings are gorgeous! In fact, it looks very much like the rings I had picked out for myself when Jay and I had talked about getting married. I love that style, very simple and classic.
from lolamae :
I read the note you left for Stillsingle. I think it was great advice, which is why would like your advice on something of my own. I believe I am over my ex of 5 years. My new significant other makes me very happy. I get the butterflies and all. My problem, is that I still expect the same treatment and reactions from him that I received from my ex(not good). The new guy knows my reasons for this is because "that is what he used to do,isn't it?" What do I say to this? He treats me so much better than my ex and I just am not accustomed to being treated well. How do I handle this without him thinking I am comparing him to the ex?
from princesstosh :
You're right....we do have a lot of similarities. I just get frustrated because you know cheating is everywhere. It didnt help he told me this particular girl was having an affair with the store manager, so I know she is capable of it,you know? Most of the time it's not HIM I dont trust, it's other people. His ex taunted us for a good year after we were dating...she'd "drop by to say hi" (we were friends in high school) and one time she left a note on Michaels windshield with her number for him to call her. He told me also that one time he saw her at the store and she asked if he still loved her. What a hoochie, or what? She broke up with him so what the hell does she care now? She's just jealous I have him and she cant have him back. I just have a hard time remembering that fact...I HAVE HIM. You know? I get a little airheaded at times but then I remember we are happy together and that's all that matters. Same with Dan---you are right, he's one of the good guys and we should be so happy for that. Not many people find them. Anyways, have a great weekend!!!
from princesstosh :
I am going to sound dumb so just be waiting for it, okay? I love the rings, and mine is almost exatly like that one, only instead of the square stone ( i know there is a name for the cut but I dont know it so I know I sound durrr) mine is round. But the wedding band looks almost exactly like mine. Dont you love white gold? They are so pretty!! Good luck!!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the compliments!! I'll definately take them. Keep posting pictures, I love them!!
from feesticka :
I like them! I looked at a similar set, but opted for an interlocking band and a setting that left the diamond flush with the band (i.e. the opposite of a pronged setting), so that i wouldn't have to get the band and the ring soldered together, and so that the prongs wouldn't catch on things. I love the channel set diamonds in the band. Very cool!
from aliboomboom :
Gorgeous!! Good luck!!
from aliboomboom :
Gorgeous!! Good luck!!
from blondeness :
I love the rings. Your taste is similar to mine, though my ring is much different, tee hee. But I like the rows of smaller stones too, not the huge gaudy ones.
from classygirl83 :
I Love all of those rings! They are both very pretty!
from soverycherry :
Yay, pictures! You're so pretty. Have a great weekend!
from classygirl83 :
I love your pictures! They're are sooo good, and you're soo pretty! I hokpe that your doing good:)
from oliangel05 :
Hi, I came across your diary, and then also read your 100 things about me. Wow, you sound a lot like me. I hope you will read my diary and note me back. Thanks so much!
from blondeness :
I've been enjoying your updates and the photos are great! You guys make such a cute couple!:)
from pinklady877 :
Aww you're so pretty! ♥
from princesstosh :
OMG, that is HILARIOUS! Boys, boys, boys, right? Homer and Marge are looking mighty fine on that but any person in their sane mind would not pay $116 for it!!! Good lord! It's nice to know though that my "man" isnt the only one still collecting kid's things :) Thanks for sharing!! By the way, you are gorgeous. And, I dont just say that in a "you're my friend and I have to" way, I say it in all honesty...I think you're glowing and just beautiful.
from horseshoes :
Such a cute couple!
from aliboomboom :
I love the pictures!! Post more soon!
from stillsingle :
Oh, you and Dan are adorable! You are so pretty! Sorry New Years was a let down...mine wasn't so great either. Oh well...Happy New Year!
from silverscorp :
Awwww! What a great picture. You're so beautiful.
from singlegirl :
I had a pregnant dream once and was having horrible stomach cramps in my dreams (and in real life), that were contractions in dreams. I woke up and even though I'm not sure, I think it was gas pain. Which is gross, but it's the only thing I can think of why I would be having stomach pains - like contractions at night. Weird, though.
from starlight42 :
Thanks for saying hello! I see you're about the same age & not far from me- I live in Warren. :) I'll be reading to find out a bit more about you.
from aliboomboom :
New Year's Eve is almost always a let down. I know that Griffin and I will be fine when we move out. But it's always reassuring to have another adult around just in case, ya know ?
from soverycherry :
Sorry about New Year's Eve. I always feel like people put so much emphasis on one little day, and I can't ever understand because you just end up disappointed. Anyway, I am ALWAYS freaked out when I stay at home by myself. It's ridiculous, and I don't know how to prevent it. Summer of 2003, I was home for a week by myself and I had off from work, so I just got drunk every night and passed out. That worked. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you!
from princesstosh :
Oh I know. The only bad part I've found about Diaryland is that it's hard to actually see the people that you like so much on here! Why oh why did you have to say Buffalo Wild Wings? I'm soooo hungry ;) Hang in there, friendships are off and on kind of things sometimes. True friends will resume them like time never went by.
from princesstosh :
It was good to hear from you!! I agree with Ali on the engagement ring...so exciting! I think it's even more exciting/nerve wracking when you know it's coming, but you dont know when. I couldnt sit still all of the month that we got engaged because I kind of knew it was coming, but not for sure, you know? EEEEE!!! And, staying at home by yourself? It gets scarier when you live with someone. When you live alone, you think about it, but you havent had that comfort of having someone else there, yet. But now that you have someone there everynight, its freaky not to. I cannot sleep when Michael works overnight. I've given up--I hear any little sound and I freak out so I leave almost every light on, and the TV and the computer. So, you're not the only one!!! As for friends, you are completely right. They change. I always thought I'd have the same friends and I dont---I'm not even speaking to one of my bridesmaids anymore. Sometimes It's them that change, and sometimes it's you. It's not a bad thing---but totally to be expected. Also, its different when you're in a relationship. You have your partner as your best friend and others kind of get put to the side, sometimes not on purpose but theres not enough time to see your friends as much as you'd like and spend time with your partner. I guess what I'm getting at is it happens and while it's sad, it's also just part of what happens when you settle down. No worries, your friends still love you and just remember to make time for them too---I am bad and forget a lot. Girl time is very important! Hope you have a great week!
from aliboomboom :
An engagement ring? How exciting!! I just wanted to let you know that I am scared like that too. I really want to buy a house or condo for me and Griffin but I don't want to be there at night by ourselves. I mean what if something does happen. What would I do? Scary stuff happens everyday, ya know?
from feesticka :
Merry Christmas!! I hope that you have a great holiday. All the best for 2005!
from aliboomboom :
MERRY CHRISTMAS, JESS. I hope that you enjoy your first holiday with Dan. Thank you for all the advice you've given me and for the encouragement. You rock!
from blondeness :
Just wanted to drop in and wish you and Dan a Happy Holiday(s)! I may not be around dland until after the new year.
from princesstosh :
Extra hours without extra pay is rough. I have a 20 minute drive to work and back so I use a lot of gas, and sometimes my boss will want me to use my gas to go run errands for him. I hate it--I'm like, wheres my gas money jerk?? haha, I am so mean but it's so true. As for your mom and sister, you are right. Anyone who doesnt bring a positive aspect into your life should be denied rights to be around you until they CAN bring postive things to it. No one (not even family) is worth sacrificing your happiness. Oh, Homer Simpson slippers, so cute! Sounds like something Michael would want. Again, they are so much alike. Happy Holidays sweetie!!!
from blondeness :
Sounds like your 2 neighbors are teaming up against you. That really sucks!:( I failed your test miserably by the way! LOL!
from classygirl83 :
Yay! You updated! I'm sorry that you are getting sued. THat totally sucks. Do you think that it's just a threat or is it really for real? I hope that you have a great weekend this weekend!
from classygirl83 :
Thank you for your note. It was very benefical to me. I am going to look into monster.com. Once again thanks for all of your help.
from classygirl83 :
Hey~ How have you been? I miss hearing from you! I hope that you're doing good. Are you already for Christmas? I am going to the doctor today at 3:30. I'm just kinda scared, cause what if it's nothing? Ya know? I don't know. I will look stupid, if it is nothing, and what if it's somehting more? I don't know. I'm paranoid. When you got your first secertary job, did you have a college education? Also, is being a secretary fun? I just got done takeing 2 classes that count as me getting professionalized at being a secretaary, but Idon't know if I really want to do that. What does it invovle? I know that I'm asking alot of questions. I'm sorry. Oh, and on Monster.com and hotjobs.com how do they work? Like can anyone look for a job on them even if they don't really have any experience in doing anything? I'm sorry for talking so much! I'm gonna go now. Have a great day!
from aliboomboom :
I don't know why I feel this much anxiety about it. I think it might be because in all actuality I have really good feelings about it. I don't know. I just don't know.
from aliboomboom :
I know I shouldn't call after drinking which is why I still haven't called. It's just so much easier to be the callee then the caller, ya know? I'm just afraid it'll be all awkward and that will suck. Thanks for being patient and understanding. In one way I really want to call and then in another way I'd rather just write it off.
from aliboomboom :
Thank you so much for all your advice. I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's stupid, I know. I should just suck it up. I keep thinking that if I get a few beers in my system then it'll be easier but it's not. I should've sucked it up and called him on Monday. I've made it into far too big a deal now, ya know? I feel as if the world will end or something if I call him.
from aliboomboom :
I'm so glad that you found Dan. It's definately nice to share the holidays with someone special. I know that you are right and I should call Brandon but I'm scared. I don't know what I'm scared of but I'm scared. I will do it...eventually. At least I hope I will because I thought that time would make me more confident but so far, it hasn't.
from stillsingle :
Hi, glad to here things are going well. When I was with Jay, he was into golfing as well. I got him a monogram golf towel with some golf accessories one year. Maybe you could get him things like a new glove, a new club, a new bag? I don't have anyone to shop for this year, thank God! It's so much less stressful!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. I feel better now. I basically do feel like this would be a blind date. I mean we have one mutual acquaintance and that's it. I've seen him for all of two seconds my entire life. And sure we've been emailing since late September but he's really busy so we haven't exchanged more than a handful of those. I just don't know what to say if I call him back. I mean every guy that I have dated previously, I've met and hung out with first, ya know? Or we had lots of mutual friends. I mean I would think that Brandon just wasn't interested because he hasn't gone out of his way to email me or IM me but then again he writes beautiful emails and told me to call him and then after I basically had to tell him not to be scared, he called me. He sounds so nervous on the voicemail, it's rather sweet. And he's gorgeous and Baptist and big and strong. I need to call him but what the hell do I say?
from aliboomboom :
I know that you met Dan on Match.com and I just wanted to know if you were really nervous before you met him. I have never done online dating but this guy, Brandon, that I met for like two seconds months ago and I have been emailing back and forth since September and anyways long story short, I thought he was gorgeous but I never really got a good look atk him and last night he called and I don't like his phone voice and I was just wondering if you ever felt like that. Most guys that I date I know or I hang out with first and now I'm all worried that I didn't really get a good look at him or that he was having a good day that day and that he's really not cute or he's really nto as cool as his email made him seem. Am I odd? Or does everyone feel this way in situations such as these?
from blondeness :
Are you still alive and well? I miss reading your "life". Hope it's going great and the lack of time to write is because of that!
from feesticka :
Hey there -- I haven't dropped you a line in a while and I just wanted to say congrats for the seven pound loss. Even if you feel like you have a ways to go, that is an awesome start! I too lost my weight on WW, and have been think of trying atkins for maintenance purposes over the holidays.
from aliboomboom :
Hey. I haven't heard from you in a while, you do have my new password right? Anyways I'm starting Atkins on Monday. I dread it. It does melt the pounds off though. Get some of those strips that you pee on that tell you rather or not you are burning fat due to not eating carbs, they help me stay motivated. Glad things are still going well with Dan. Yay for love!! Good luck with everything!
from classygirl83 :
It's unlocked. but bewear there's a slutty story of mine in there. LOL>
from princesstosh :
Agh, weightloss! I am so jealous!! Hehe, but so happy for you! Way to go! I have no forgotten about the pictures---with the move everything got shuffled around and one of my friends ended up with the picture CD to make prints but I WILL send you more. Now that I'm all moved I'll have much more time for fun things like that.
from silverscorp :
Hey lady. I too did the Atkins and lost quite a bit of weight. What I liked the most was I was weightlifting at the time and the diet helped me tone everything. I don't know why I didn't stay on it. I'd like to get back with it after Aidan is born, but I don't know if that would be healthy while I breastfeed. And yes bills suck! I'm trying to get caught up and it seems I can't. But you're right, it will all work out. Have a fantastic holiday!
from princesstosh :
More Pictures. Do I have MORE PICTURES? Honey, I am the queen of pictures. I will send until you're like "i want to see no more!" :) Email address, please?
from classygirl83 :
hey~ I'm sorry that your co-worker isn't putting in her share of the work. In my class my teacher talkes about how that's gonna happen when we get in the work place. It's not really that fun, but Iguess it's life. What do you do? If you don't mind me asking. I hope that you have a great weekend. Oh yeah, I forgot to say something. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be embarrssed that I have to take meds, but at the same time I am. I have to do it all. I have to go to councling and be on meds. UGH! It's no fun, that's what I think, I must be really messed up if I have to do both. Oh well. I hope that you have a great day today!
from alwaysaroura :
My life is not really that perfect. It is nice to be able to stay at home but Taylor and I have issues that most couples probably don't have. I haven't always been the best girlfriend in the world and we've done things that will haunt us in the future. Some of the most miserable people that I know have money so don't think that it makes anything better, maybe easier but not better. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a good relationship and he has a passion for his job which is what I love most about Taylor. He loves what he does. Sure Taylor makes a lot of money but I am sure he would do it even if he didn't. I'm glad that we straightened things out. Sometimes I ramble on and on without ever thinking about what I'm saying, it's really something I should work on.
from classygirl83 :
Hey~ I added you to my favorites, if you want to know my Un and PW leave me your e-mail addy and I'll email it to you:) Hope that your doing good!
from stillsingle :
Dan sounds like my ex, Jay. He is an alcoholic, too. We were together for 2 years, lived together for a year before I just had enough and broke it off, he moved out and the rest is history. It's something to really think about...
from stillsingle :
Hey, thanks for the note. I'm going to go back and read yours...and add you to my buddy list. Take care!
from horseshoes :
Thanks for reading. I'll add you as a favorite!I like to read about other people who have met online. I live in a VERY rural area and you just don't tell people. It's looked down on. Some people don't quite understand how hard it is to find someone new when you know everyone within a hundred mile radius! Good Luck! Sara
from alwaysaroura :
I really hate that I offended you. Like most people, I sometimes say things with out thinking. I didn't mean to criticize heavy people. I don't really think anything negative about them at all. I know that working out as much as I do doesn't sound appealing to most people and some people would even say I was crazy for doing it so please forgive me for my lapse of judgement. I enjoy your diary too.
from girlygirl83 :
Thanks for the note! I appericiate it! I'm gonna be ok. I made a councling appointment for the 16th, but I'll be albetter by then so I won't really need to go. I hope that your doing good. It'll take me a week ro so but I'll be fine have a great day today!
from saucy99 :
Good luck with your accounting exam tonight. I had an accounting midterm today too and it kicked my ass. I *really* don't like accounting!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey~~ I know how you feel, about your sister and your mom. For a long time I felt the same way about mine. Sometimes I still do. It took some major things to tell them how I felt, but in the end I did, and they tried to change and now for the most part it its ok. So you should maybe try to tlel them how you feel. I hope that you don't feel depressed for too long! Feel Better!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey~ I hope that you got presents for the sweetest day!Thanks for the note. I relaly apperciated it. Hope that your doing good.
from girlygirl83 :
awwwwwwwe, yall are soo cute together!!
from yellowrosetx :
I lOVE your new layout! It is finally getting a little chill here and I'm getting so EXCITED about Fall! Take Care!
from ravenly :
Sorry your guy is being such a jerk. I think most girls can understand!! ((HUGS))
from aliboomboom :
I have been reading your diary and I think it's super neat that you met Dan on match.com. I have so many friends doing that now. It's nice to see that it worked out for you. I think it's a good way to meet people. Ian and I met in person but we didn't see each other for three months after that so we really got to know each other before it got physical and that worked out great. Of course there are probably some freaks out there too, ya know? Anyways God really has worked things out for me. If I can continue to have faith, I think that things will continue to work out for us. Oh and the hourse firefighters and EMTs keep is ridiculous. I'm glad that you are getting used to it though!!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, thanks for the long note. I really apperciate it. I know that you should never meet anyone that wants to meet you right away. I learned that one the hard way. I'm scared of internet meeting. I don't knowwhat to do. I'm just stupid I guess. Oh well, have a great night tonight. I love the new lay out!
from girlygirl83 :
That's awsome that you met Dan from there. Where did yall go on your first date? Do you have any suggestions on how it will be more effective? Was it pretty safe? Did you pay money or did you just do it for free? Did you date alot of guys before you met Dan from there? Well, I'm asking you alot of questions so I'm gonna go. Have a great day and thanks for telling me about it.
from lostinmylove :
Just saying thanks for adding me as a fav.. and for the comment. :) That was a dumb head thing my husband did - but hopefully we will come through THIS twist in the road of life relatively unscathed too. Good luck with your neighbor - sounds like a real creep.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, thanks for the nice note and the linkage! I will link you too! I hope that you don't thin kthat I'm totally weird, cause I am. I hopt that I don't offend you either. I try not to, but sometimes I don't always write that apporpriatly. Have a great weekend!
from singlegirl :
Sounds like you two are doing well. I'm glad that living together has been good too. I was worried when Jeremy moved in with me, but so far (for the most part), things have been fine. Take care:)
from feesticka :
Have fun on your trip!
from blondeness :
I finally got the chance to read your journal and I have read each and every entry today! You seem a lot like me in so many ways. I loved the entry where Dan surprised you by coming home from his golf outing early. That was so sweet. And the fact that he is going to help you get your credit back in order. He seems like a really great guy for you. I hope that you are able to finally spend more time together then you currently are and things get better for you. I will try to keep up with your entries, now that I am caught up.;)
from elliemay23 :
That thing where they make work plans and stuff....THEY ALL DO IT. It drives me crazy because rarely during the summer do I have a weekend with my husband. He is always working over time...which is great and all...but I'd like to see him once in a while. Hang in there. By the way...you are moving in on our 5 year anniversary. xoxo, Ellie
from elliemay23 :
You want me to send you an email too...I will if it will make you feel better. (i am toni) Hope you are having a good day. xoxo, Ellie
from jrkreviews :
Your review is up: http://jrkreviews.diaryland.com/jess1976.html
from elliemay23 :
I know it is a little late, but Good Luck...Have not done much reading and I just got to your last entry today. Hope you had a good weekend. xoxo, Ellie
from jrkreviews :
I've just started a new review site (jrkreviews.diaryland.com) and thought I'd invite you to get reviewed!
from elliemay23 :
Did anyone tell you your review is up? If not then consider yourself told. :-) I am so glad that he called while he was gone and the roses were a nice touch. Take care. xoxo,Ellie
from elliemay23 :
This is what I did the first time I had to leave and go back to school after I met EE. I got him a card and I framed a picture of both of us together to give to him and I let him know that I would miss him but I hoped that he had a really good week while I was gone. Just to have the mindset that I was going to be positive...even though I didn't want to...helped out a lot. (plus it made him realize how super-cool I was about not having to be with him all the time...it made him miss me more. he he he) Have a good evening. xoxo, Ellie
from saucy99 :
Wow, you are so much braver than me. I've been living with my boyfriend for the past year and my parents still don't know, and frankly, I don't plan on telling them. They would totally lose it. Glad to hear things are going so well with you guys!
from aliboomboom :
I do feel so much better about it now. I knew that she would be supportive. At least 95% of me told me that but I also knew that if she wasn't then I would be devastated. I just hope my dad reacts in the same way. I am blessed to have her as a mother. I can only hope that I do my job half as well for Griffin.
from elliemay23 :
Why won't you talk to him while he is gone? Do they not take phones with them? That has always bothered me about boys. They come up with the dumbest excuses about why they are not calling. How's your grandpa? xoxo, Ellie
from elliemay23 :
Sorry about your grandpa. I hope he makes a full recovery. And you are not being selfish. Guys just don't understand sometimes. EE and I had been dating for about 5 months when he made a big boo boo. I was at school and I came home every weekend just to see him. I mean, why else would I have driven almost 3 hours. Anyways, I walk into his house Saturday morning and he says, "Guess who's going to the Ranger's Base Ball Game" I totally thought that ment that he got us tickets. WRONG. I said who and he said, "Me. Roy has an extra ticket, isn't that great?" UGH!! Needless to say we had a lengthy discussion about why I come home if he isn't even going to spend time with me. My point though is that sometimes they just don't think because if we did what they did they would be fine with it. Wow...long note. sorry. Hey, come visit our new review site. mommaviews.diaryland.com. xoxo, Ellie
from feesticka :
Hey there, I found your diary through kris-tee. I hope that everything works out with your boyfriend (personally, I don't think that you're being selfish for wanting to spend time with him, especially since you guys just moved in together!). I look forward to reading some more soon.
from aliboomboom :
I am considering therapy. I have talked to my ob/gyn several times about it. I have a list of names, I just have to make the calls.
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. I am just getting so frustrated with myself. I can't seem to get a grip anymore and I can't seem to accept things. I just am at a loss.
from saucy99 :
Hey Jess, I wouldn't worry about Dan's behaviour. I don't think its anything to be concerned about. Relationships are a lot of work and it can sometimes be exhausting combined with lifes other responsibilities. If indeed its just that Dan is getting more comfortable around you, I actually think that's a good thing. I don't think it was until N and I were totally able to let loose and be ourselves around each other (even if that meant not being in the mood to talk or really do anything) that we really, truly got to know each so well. It sounds like Dan really loves you so I wouldn't worry too much. Take care!
from aliboomboom :
Adoption is not an option for me. I couldn't do it. It may sound selfish but I don't think that it is. I may not want this child but he is my responsibility and I do love him. He was just about ten years early. If I give him up for adoption then I will not know where he is at night or if he's hungry or if he's clothed or loved or hugged every single day. I won't know where he goes to school or who he plays with or what sports he is good at. I won't be able to insure his happiness. Sure there are a lot of people that want babies and I feel bad for them but I don't want them to have mine. He's mine after all. I do want him at times but there is a lot of worry that comes along with that. A lot of adoptive couples look great on paper but they aren't great in real life. If he is adopted then he could be molested or abused or neglected, I would never have a guarantee that he wasn't. I'm sorry that you made the choice that you did, not because of what it was but because it makes you sad. I wish that you could undo the past. I wish I could too. This path is not easy. It never will be. I regret my decision too. I don't think that there is a better one though. There are three options once you get pregnant and they all suck.
from aliboomboom :
I have to admit that you are right, I do hate myself therefore I feel as if everyone else should too. I don't however think that having a baby is something that you can just get over. I know that shit happens but this is a lot to deal with. I can't help but think that it has ruined everything. I hate Mike. I don't want to have his child. I don't want to deal with all the emotions of everyone else that has to deal with my mistake. I don't want to live life as a single mother. I can't help those things. I am trying to do the best that I can but I can't just pretend that I'm happy about this and pretend that it is all going to be okay. I'm not and it's not. I hope it does become the best thing that has ever happened to me but for right now and as far as I can see it's the absolute worst thing that could ever happen!
from aliboomboom :
I hope that you are right and that she knows. I am going to read some of your archives today. I do need her but I don't want this to be real and it will be as soon as she knows. Mike is driving me nuts but I don't have anyone else to rely on right now and if I tell my parents how much I hate him then I'll just look like an immature baby. Don't you think that if my mom knew that she would put me out of my misery and tell me that she knew?
from elliemay23 :
Wow, moving in. That's great. Best of luck. Glad to see that you updated. I was missing you. xoxo,Ellie
from singlegirl :
I am thinking about getting my MBA online too. What school are you going through? I'm so uneasy about getting my degree online. I am thinking about University of Phenoix, but I just want to make sure it's the real thing and that it's a reputable college and has a high enough rating. I'm not sure if they rank online business schools like they rank "real" business schools. I really don't want to have to sit in classes again though, I just finished up my MSW 2 years ago and the thought of going back is not fun.
from elliemay23 :
You have been busy...Bless your little heart. I feel like you do. Beat down tired. Have a good weekend. xoxo, Ellie
from kris-tee :
This advice maybe way off. But I find myself relating to you where you are needy towards Dan and you worry alot. The way that I got out of being like that with Brad, was to basicly be a bitch. Not a bitch like mean, mean. But I kind of had an attitude like I did not care. Guys LOVE it. They really do. As soon as I start acting like I don't care, they eat it up! I do with Brad now even and were married! Whenever you feel like Dan is acting distant toward you, I would just do it back to him. And I always feel better when I do that for some reason. Ok, this maybe crazy advice, but it works for me!!!
from eggsaucted :
I always say that to Kevin. I tell him I'd have a good time watching paint dry if I was watching with him. He always thinks that's a bunch of crap, but I am 100% serious. I don't need to be doing anything to have a good time with him.
from pinklady877 :
thank you, darling. i know i made the right decision, but i also know i'm gonna have some ups and downs for a little bit. glad you're okay, too! =) much love, kristine
from elliemay23 :
I am sure everything is ok sweetie. I am about 5 days late, but I took a test last night and me no prego. he he. Have a good evening. xoxo, Ellie
from saucy99 :
Thanks for adding me as a favorite, I'm adding you too! Don't worry about Flo, if you've been that good about taking the pill she will come. I am awful about taking the pill. I have some sort of brain malfunction and I always forget to take it so my boyfriend and I have to use backup.
from saucy99 :
Hi! I've been surfing in and out of your diary for the past couple of months. I like reading about the excitement you are feeling with your new relationship! Sounds like things are going great. Ok, this is a random-ass note. Anyhoo, have a good weekend.
from singlegirl :
Hi! I just finished reading your diary so far, and yeah, we're a lot alike! I'm so happy that you met someone and I totally believe that you can know if someone is "the one" right away. I can relate to almost everything you wrote...do you think we were sisters in another lifetime? :)
from elliemay23 :
Hey there. Found your site through Kris-Tee. Think I'll start reading you. You sound kind of like me when I met my husband. After our first date I knew we would get married and a year and a half later we did. xoxo, Ellie
from kris-tee :
OMG, you sound like me when I 1st met Brad. I was convinced that he was going to hurt me or something was going to happen where we would not be together. I just KNEW he was goign to change, but guess what? He dident! But I did the very same thing, I have major anxiety issues.
from kris-tee :
Thanks for the note! I just saw it! (I have an excuse for being ditzy right now though, Blake is taking my brain cells! hehe) I added you to my favorites too!
from pinklady877 :
aww i'm really happy for you. =D i really hope this works out. dan sounds like a great guy! <3kristine
from eggsaucted :
Looks like you're changing your template, if your notes link still doesn't work let me know I think I know what you did wrong before. =)
from eggsaucted :
Thanks for your comments! Obviously I don't agree, but I'm glad you read my diary. Thanks again! ;)
from snccharlotte :
hey there!! my username is "secretfriend" and the pw is "unlockme" take care :)
from desertrose17 :
hey there!! i'm changing diaries, so if you'd like to continue reading, just email me at [email protected], and i'll give you the info :) bye now
from desertrose17 :
username: lockdown password: unlockme :)

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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