messages to lanienaked:
(click here to add new message):

from jimbostaxi :
I'd much rather be home as well but, no one will pay me to be a hermit in a cave :(
from jimbostaxi :
Hi, new reader added you to my list ever think about volunteering maybe a homeless shelter or something like that. That would make you feel needed and with a sense of purpose if I’m way out there in left field I’m sorry just figured I’d mention it. Take care :)
from xnamehere :
i hope the kitties are doing okay, love. i'm glad that you're doing well enough not to need to come here much. <333
from xnamehere :
i'm doing pretty good, buddy, better since you've asked :) i hope you're doing well... i sympathize with you're sentiments of your idiot boss and i'm glad you're toking more and staying healthy. ;)
from lostasyou :
Annoyingly, I was at work the other day and made a last minute decision to get a banana from the shop downstairs. I took my phone with me and dropped it while I was down there, getting a fucking banana, to be healthy and the fucking thing smashed. Well, the screen did. I should be getting a new one sent in the post tomorrow or Saturday so I'll have Whatsapp back and will be able to add you! I am using my laptop after work hours for now, it's so dire. Haha, that's not stalkerish. Well, myself and Alex play video games like Gears of War and weird horror based games that we want to stream live as we play, and have a little webcam view of us and audio of us playing. We're hoping to get this up and running real soon, just testing and whatever. We'll probably get booed off of Twitch and never stream live again because apparently the hardcore gamers there are real harsh, but we're just doing it for a laugh.
from silver4 :
Lol I was reading that thinking hm I wonder if she is high writing this ...and then you were like yep I'm high! Haha you are good, girl. It's not like it takes over your life or anything; you still get stuff done. You do you!!
from lostasyou :
I love his TV shows! And sure, I guess if you email [email protected] then we can swap numbers? Don't feel comfortable airing it on here, obviously!
from whystinger :
The purpose of a diary is to write what ever the hell you want to write about and it is also optional, so you write what and when you want. As for not feeling emotional about a lost pregnancy, that is your body and mind telling you something was wrong with the pregnancy, that is why you lost it. For some it is harder to take and at some point in your life, you may feel different about a different pregnancy. I'm a guy, so I don't have a complete understanding about it.
from lostasyou :
Hello! Oh man, Derren Brown was fucking rad. I always wanted to go to a live theatre show of his just to confirm if what you see on TV is what actually happens. And.. it was just like TV. No sneaky "by the way this is all a load of lies" before the show, no hoaxes, no one in on it. It was just amazing. If you EVER get the chance, please go! And yeah most definitely up for a chat haha I love those! Hope you're doing good x
from lostasyou :
Hey sure thing! How else can we chat other than on this old thing? Ahhh, a drink with a likewise character would be exceptionally good.
from lostasyou :
Haha!! Favourite cunt to read. That is so sweet ;) eh I might write an entry tonight. This online dating thing is driving me mental.
from lostasyou :
Hahah.. well I did it!
from silver4 :
Wow, that blows about the whole marriage/house situation. I can see how it can be displeasing to you, your mom, and C. It's unfortunate to have to deal with all that drama, especially those tickets! It's insane to me, the whole thing about speeding and U turns and what not. I know it is a matter of safety and what-not, buuuut there are real legit crimes happening all the time. The police should focus on controlling that, not the person who went 5 over speed limit. Anyways, carry on :) hope you are doing well otherwise !!!
from silver4 :
Wow, that sounds like an awesome weekend! I heard about that weenie roast; a radio station out here kept advertising about tickets for it, sounds like something I would have loved to go to! We used to have concerts out here like that in the summers, all day things.. Actually they still might, but the lineup isn't as cool as it was in my 20's haha (and that's when STP was still fun and linkin park had just come on the scene lol). Glad you guys got to spend some good personal time together, hope you can keep that going!
from silver4 :
I love the dental meetings, so much fun! If you are into that sort of thing ;) I am on pof and okcupid, but I need to hide my profiles now or soon. No energy to follow up on messages or make small talk with these guys. Too much on my mind!
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the note back :) I'm glad to hear your birthday didn't turn out too bad after all. And I'm VERY glad you got flowers for Valentine's Day, at least. I hope you get more gestures like that, and your hubby holds up during the coming semester. (Lol...I went out for Chinese New Year and just got around to writing about it too. But it wasn't my mom's birthday, so we just had too much food and no presents. Oh well!)
from lostasyou :
If you just send an email to [email protected] then I'll give you the pass :) or what's your email?
from xnamehere :
whoops aha, *Happy Birthday!!!
from xnamehere :
happy hirthday!! wish i could bring you cake and ice cream and make you feel all special. :) i'm sorry birthdays can be such shit though. :( i really your weekend gets better. <3333
from silver4 :
Well I'm hoping you got a pleasant surprise when you got home, but if not, you have dland birthday supporters: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :)
from dangerspouse :
I only just happened on your diary, but I want to wish you a very happy birthday despite how disappointing it seems to have turned out for you this year (except for your mom calling). I hope you have many more, and I hope they get better. Hang in there :)
from silver4 :
Don't envy me, I have been on a horribly depressing losing streak...but who would want to write about that?? ;) glad you had fun!
from bantenhut :
Maybe you could convince her that staying alive would be rebellious. There's no reason in particular for us to be alive, we just crash the party.
from xnamehere :
i love thinking about what happens to a persons soul when they decide to take their exit. i can't imagine it being completely over, kind of like losing your saved game and having to restart the game, instead of gaining xp and just levelling up naturally. i don't know... i guess there are worse things that can happen to a person. you want them in your world and you want them to be taken care of, but maybe they need to take a different path to find their peace. <3
from xnamehere :
you read it right.. :)
from silver4 :
Thanks :) I think he and I can work it out, he just needs to own up to the things he said. If not, oh well. I can move on :) hope you enjoyed vegas!! You should've seen a cirque show, those are definitely my favorites!! I agree that blue man is blah.. But it's funny here and there
from idontpretend :
Nope. They sent me on my way. They told me I could try the local Career Center. I'm trying to get financial aid through them. I won't know for certain until later today or hopefully monday at the latest.
from idontpretend :
They took away all of it. =(
from silver4 :
Haha thanks! It is fun regardless..plus we just happen to be here when there's some maui invitational basketball tournament going, so he is happy. Give the guy a beer and a basketball game and he's a different person :)
from lostasyou :
I love Memento :) and yeah, it's pretty hyped up here. I bloody love it
from lostasyou :
Haha I think that's my problem.. I am a huge IMDB whore so I just find out everything about these films and I guess when I actually get round to watching them there really isn't anything to be shocked about.. because you expect it? I ruin everything for myself.. and thank you :) I hope it does happen.
from lostasyou :
Hahahah, oh I know it's all really disgusting. I dunno how I can manage to get through all those films.. I think it's just an "achievement" if I can do it. As soon as I hear about the latest "REALLY FUCKED UP FILM, OH MY GOD, IT'S SO SICK" film then I instantly want to see it.. I've never been so disturbed that I had to turn one off.. :/ maybe there's just something wrong with me. I guess they get a reaction out of us, at least.
from xnamehere :
:(( i know. i don't know what to do... i feel horrible. i really need to be more on guard when it comes to my emotions/thoughts.. ugh seriously contemplating burning my journals again... but in other news, dude that dream was crazy scary.
from xnamehere :
i go through spurts myself. i know for a while my dreams were very few and far between too. i don't think they started coming back until my emotions were in shambles and i started getting plagued by nightmares and waking up in a state of completely wtfuckery? that's really what brought it on, i hate not being in control of my dreams especially because i looove sleep.
from xnamehere :
joey hates veggies and he claims lettuce is "poison". ><
from silver4 :
Lol don't worry, I'm not moving anywhere! I love my space way too much to give it up, especially this soon..he says within the year, but still.. Not gonna happen :)
from lostasyou :
Haha yeah a 20 note is pretty much the same, I guess! Notes are goooooood! Money is good..
from lostasyou :
mm yeah I am trying :) cheers.
from lostasyou :
I can't wait to get paid ahaha, and thanks!
from xnamehere :
yeah, for me happiness definitely involves keeping myself occupied and just steering my mind towards the good things. as for fb.. i completely agree with your solution. i just tend to let my curiosity get the better of me and it ends up hurting me a lot mentally... then the self-loathing side of me chimes in and decides to take checking in to an impulsive level. grr.. hehe but thank you, you rubbed some happiness onto me. :))
from silver4 :
I totally agree with you on that.. I don't even believe his "hangovers" are real ones, because I am completely out of service when I have mine :) he does have just a couple drinks and feels the buzz, its kinda cute I guess. What is LOL by the way? I can't figure out what it stands for!
from xnamehere :
i enjoyed the bit about annoyingly happy ppl :P
from xnamehere :
hehe awww :) thanks lovey. you're quite perfect yourself ya know. <333
from lostasyou :
Haha yeah it's pretty good.
from acuteapathy :
After all this time of "leaving" then coming right back, I think its safe to say I'll be here for a long time. Lol. Thanks for still reading.
from lostasyou :
I would like a friend too, but I wouldn't even know where to start when it comes to finding one.
from i-lost-sarah :
i don't know what to do about average idiocy--my friend used to say stupid people make good conversation, who else would we make fun of? :)
from xnamehere :
haha, that would be so wonderful. i'm in! man i think the news these days scares me more than space. the universe just seems so pure, so limitless! there could be anything out there. just imagine all the planets with vastly different climates and conditions for strange forms of life. but it doesn't stop there because as time goes on, planets change, species come and go, everything is constantly changing... there is definitely a horror aspect to it, it's scary to think about how the sun will eventually burn out.. but i also have to wonder how far along humanity will have evolved by then. maybe we'll be able to deal, maybe we'll have traveled to other planets by then and it'll be a simple matter of evacuation. so many possibilities. heh, i'm kind of a sci-fi nut. ideas nourish my soul. :) definitely don't mean to scare you though. ;) ♥
from idontpretend :
Lmao, thank you?
from xnamehere :
aww, you're my kind of recluse :) and you always take the words right out of my mouth. i wouldn't force yourself to write if you're not feeling it. it's there for you if you need it. in any case, i want the address to this new diary because as one female to another, i certainly feel that i get you and i usually don't understand my kind either. btw, regarding the 2/13 entry, was that program starry night pro? love that program and i love thinking about that stuff. i guess ideas like getting lost in space are pretty scary, cuz ya, we're so small and the universe is so vast and undefined. we're being completely ridiculous thinking we're at the center of it all. i guess it's thoughts like that that comfort me though, and allow me to lighten up a bit when i'm taking life too seriously. <33
from idontpretend :
Yeah, she's very calculating, but she tries to pass herself off as flighty and lost in the clouds all the time. And if you're going to explore the universe, then GO BIG OR GO HOME!!! :D
from idontpretend :
Lol, I love thinking about how vast the universe is and how much there is to explore. Do you have any idea how boring it would be if our solar system was all there was?
from idontpretend :
Haha, I know there are people with values around. All the good women out there are taken in my experience. I can't find one that's available and that I'm really taken by. Sigh. Yeah, I was hoping she would surprise me, but she didn't. I finally opened my eyes to the fact that the good things about her were as much of an act as they were genuine. She's a very conflicted person. She brought back the guy she supposedly broke up with in order to get back at me and things finally clicked and I said enough.
from xnamehere :
happy belated birthday!
from idontpretend :
I know better than anyone how hard it is for people to change, but she's different. It's more a matter of her being screwed over by every guy she's dated than it is about her being a bad person. There are lots of good things about her that make me very, very happy. =]
from idontpretend :
Story of my life. Which is why I'm determined to make sure this one turns out differently. ;)
from acuteapathy :
its unlocked now. just a little scare...thats all.
from acuteapathy :
its unlocked now. just a little scare...thats all.
from tinea :
you're right about both things: it's not normal, and it is probably a side effect of the pill. it's common with hormonal contraception. i used to be on the depo shot and was literally NEVER in the mood. never. i went off of that for awhile and became familiar with my normal cycle, then got an IUD, which is one of the best decisions i have ever made.
from xnamehere :
hope you feel better soon. ♥
from alienamiss :
It's a pretty good penpal site. It's got a sweet language exchange system.
from lostasyou :
Haha :)
from alienamiss :
Mm.. penpal-ing? Sweet. I guess I should introduce myself, maybe leave you my penpal link: http://www.interpals.net/scissorsnake
from xnamehere :
i know you're so right. he's just the biggest mindfuck i've come to experience... and my feelings for him contradict all rationality. he is the ultimate frenemy, and no good could possibly come of pursuing him. i hate how often i need re-convincing... :/ yeaaah, you've always been cali to me. kinda like in zombieland how they call each other by their destinations. you've just been easy to remember cuz you're pretty much the only one still here from my early dland days. that, and you've always been a great read. ^^ your memory serves you well too, i was born in ny but i lived in pa for most of my life... homeschooled too so that's probably why i'm not as grounded as most ppl. my parents moved around quit a bit and i've been so uprooted it's influenced me a lot. maybe i'll always be traveling. i'm certainly not opposed to it and online classes make it easy, but moving really SUCKS! i don't think i'll be moving again at least for a few years, until i finish my degree. i need a home i can return to so i'm not just drifting constantly. it's good experience, but it gets lonely out here.
from xnamehere :
just moved from ohio.. i'm settlin down in southern illinois for the time being. i've moved around quite a bit over the years, slowly making my way west.. i'd love to come out to cali someday.. my school campus is in san francisco so it's kind a dream of mine to visit. i think seattle and portland would be beautiful to check out too someday.
from xnamehere :
haha well at least it wasn't a complete waste then. my entries make me mad too... it's like, gah! is that how i really sound?! don't fret my darling, you do make sense even if it doesn't seem that way to you. you shouldn't have to polish yourself here. that's what your books are for. ;)
from lostasyou :
Hah yeah I had to get away, I never look at that account anymore, makes me angry. And yes, I guess so. I won't be rushing, it'd just be ideal because then I can forget my ex ;) aha. x
from lostasyou :
Hi :) you're here! I am "omfggwtf" haha, on a new account. Change of scenery and all. I am going to add you back to my list! x
from xnamehere :
it can be hard to focus when i get completely obliterated... but i feel like i may be so dependent on it now that i can't focus without it. at least now without joey's influence, it's usually just a bowl a day, a puff here a puff there to take the edge off. -_- it comes in handy for an art major too ;) as for the writing, i've been thinking about doing a webcomic myself, but i get discouraged easily. i think when it comes down to it, approval will come because you deserve, because you carried yourself through the fog of uncertainty. i think that feeling of accomplishment is going to be so momentary anyway, whereas the process... you'll always be able to reflect on the hard times when you were trying to get yourself motivated, the moments of inspiration and breakthroughs you had because you pushed yourself onward. training yourself and discovering yourself through the process is what's going to serve you onto further accomplishments. i know you're capable of brilliance. it's just realizing that and bringing it out in yourself. don't try to define your accomplishments now, you'll only limit yourself that way.
from xnamehere :
i miss your rants. let me in? green goo [email protected] (without the spaces of course)
from xnamehere :
congrats on moving out! as for school, i think it's awesome you want to go back... do what excites you, what you could really get into. quite honestly, i think you'd be great at both. you've made some awesome layouts. *sigh* i kinda miss the dland design sites. sometimes i think about starting one up just to practice more and liven up this place a bit... maybe if i wasn't going to school for animation :D
from xnamehere :
man i feel the same way about birthdays. growing up my family never made a big deal outta them though, and i feel like it's rubbed off on me a little. bdays tend to sneak up on me and i feel like an asshole for forgetting... damn there's been a ton of bdays lately.
from omfggwtf :
you and your boyfriend sound so cute ^________^ i'm sorry i'm drunk and in a soppy mood and it appeals to me, eeee ^_^ xo.
from omfggwtf :
thank you, i appreciate it. i'll have to get round to reading about it. xo.
from xnamehere :
it'll be worth the wait. ^^
from killsoft :
because every vent she's written about herself is apparently to be taken factually as mine are, yeah?
from xokaythenx :
that's a good idea... she might actually move out soon and then I would never have to worry :D ahaha, killsoft is basically a self-described fat, bald, middle aged man with a smaller than average dick (yes, the dick part was also self-described). I think I'm better just by default :P Congrats on a raise!!! :D
from xnamehere :
congrats on the raise btw.
from xnamehere :
haha... have fun :D. acid can be very much the same way. i may be a more experienced user now, but when i first started tripping i felt pretty retarded at doing simple tasks too, always had a blast at how retarded i was. with pot i'd always get pretty lazy. i think i've built up a tolerance to it though in the sense that i use it as a tool. it definitely gives me a longer attention span, helps a lot with homework and drawing.
from xnamehere :
shrooms are very much like acid. and no, they aren't bad for you and i wouldn't consider them addictive unless you love the experience and find that you want to trip like every weekend or whatever. there are times when i get a sudden urge to want to trip, but it's not like i'd do anything to get a few hits. it's more of a treat than anything. and lsd doesn't stay in the system for very long, shrooms a couple days. i have heard ectasy to be harmful as well, but the pure form of mdma is not harmful. i read that they use it for therapy. it depends what people are mixing with the mdma when they press their ex pills (to make more). you just have to be careful. people talk about getting bad pills. i've taken ex pills that give me a huge rush (probably cut with coke) but i've also had pure form mdma (molly) in a capsule which gives me a night full of energy, but i've also fallen alseep on them. i know a kid that went into a diabetic coma cuz he was a dumbass and ate ex then didn't eat anything to balance his blood sugar. i've never taken a pill and had anything bad happen to me though. i've never considered ex to be addictive either. in fact, i usually have a night full of fun, and i wake up the next morning with a headache from grinding my teeth together because of the rush. i don't really think it's something i'd want to do every day. i'm not really into uppers tho. i like to be mellowed out most of the time. with weed... some might say im addicted, but it's like smoking cigs. a lot of ppl like to smoke. i feel that way with weed. & weed goes great with all of the above. :D
from omfggwtf :
thank you for the positive outlook ;) haha! but i do understand where you're coming from. nah i'm in a good mood despite all this now sod it. if he goes, he goes. i'll deal with it when the time comes but for now it's fucking friday and i'm getting my drink on. WOO! have a good night ;)! x
from xnamehere :
i did it for the first time when i was 19 (21 now). i agree that it's harmless, in fact i really encourage you to try it, anna. it allows you to think differently. if you want to know more about yourself and get inside your head, it's definitely the way to go. i smoke pot regularly, it keeps me relaxed. mushrooms are very similar to acid and a lot of fun. ectasy is much more of a body high than acid or mushrooms. these are my drugs of choice. never done coke, and ive really no desire to. i've had some of the best times on acid. i do recommend the first time you try it, do it somewhere that you're comfortable around someone you're comfortable with. preferably a friend who's tripped before. good setting is key.visuals can become mesmerizing. put on some chill music, maybe a movie. look for some art work to stare at. enjoy yourself. the first time i tripped i didn't know what to expect. it was a whole other place inside my head that i never tapped into, once i got a taste, i wanted to keep going back. i know ppl that have had bad trips. i've had trips where i've been on edge because i've been uncomfortable or i started the trip out in a stressed out mood and it just set the mood for the trip... but ive always managed to have a decent time. the first night i moved into my apartment my bf and i decided to trip. it was a new place, fairly empty, the walls were bare for the most part. our apartment is right next to a staircase and my neighbors came clunking down the steps at 3 am while i was tripping my ass off. that scared me, im not gonna lie. i kept thinking someone was going to come bust down the door to my apartment. the important thing is to not let things freak you out too much because most of the time, its something little that has no bearing on the situation. go with the flow, relax, and see where it takes you. i definitely can see you benefiting from this. :) let me know if you still have questions. erowid.org is a great site - the experiences section can give you some great info.
from omfggwtf :
i think he's worth it all. stupid or not, i am convinced. there's this strong connection and i dunno i'm not ready to let it go. i'm very selfish like that.. he probably wants me to fuck off and go away but i just cant. but it's just really odd.. he'd never speak to me like that to my face. i dunno if he has more courage to say what he feels online or if it's just one great big overreaction. i'm hoping for the second one though haaaha.. i'll find out sooner or later. im thinking it's a bonus that he didnt just go offline and ignore me though. i dunno. when things go wrong i get strangely optimistic about everything probably in hope that it'll all be okay the next day. we'll see! thanks for your kind words aha, i'm sure you'll find out what happens aswell since i'm so obsessed with writing in here -_- xo.
from omfggwtf :
haaaaaaaaha. i'm in severe denial. i refuse to believe this is happening. not after everything i've fucking done. he did try but gave up because i'm so persistent.. i dunno what will happen tomorrow but err.. i dunno ha. i guess we'll see what tomorrow brings. i'm just trying to put it down to the fact that he's feeling quite low, he hates his job, he hates how his friends are busy with jobs and don't come out, and how like.. i dunno. so i'm putting it down to him just taking it out on me because i'm the closest thing to him and he knows full well he can talk to me like shit and i'll still feel the same the next day. sorry to hear about what happened with you ha. if that was me i'd truly die. i've never really had a serious break up where the guy leaves me. i always leave them. maybe it's my turn now -_- hmm. i don't knoww. but i'm not letting go just yet. it's not all been for nothing. i hope tomorrow is a better day! but hey ho. and i agree with you on the friend thing, i posted a similar thing earlier about how i wish i could make friends easily.. it's not all that it's cracked up to be aha. damn us and our awkwardness. xo.
from xokaythenx :
It's so true, though!! The original one is like, about achievement and friendship... it's so ridiculously awesome :)
from xokaythenx :
aww, thanks!!
from omfggwtf :
s'horrible sometimes. i live for someone else way too much aha. oh well. it'll get better. got out tonight and i'm extremely drunk but i'm typing as well as i can. it'll be fine.
from omfggwtf :
no way! i don't ever get bored on diaryland hahahaha. i'm always on here :| it's quite stpuid really but oh well. but you're added so you're wrong! i didn't get bored ;) excuse bad typing, drinking has been happening. hope you're well, xo.
from omfggwtf :
like your diary! stumbled on it and i'm going to add you if you don't mind :). xo.
from xnamehere :
i think it's a more observant theory than crazy... i get thoughts like this all the time lol.
from xnamehere :
nah, we didn't break up. we have are fights and he leaves for days to go to work, but yeah, it's all good. as for the layout, i wish i drew it lol. it's actually a background from the game comix zone for sega genesis. i was in the mood to play the rom a while ago and when i saw the image i just had to see if i could make it into a layout. glad you like it. :D
from punkedupqt :
pssst :] hello!
from xnamehere :
thanks :D. it's okay, we're not getting evicted. our landlords couldn't get a hold of us because they didn't think to call my new number which i gave them the last time we paid rent. we dropped off some money this week though, it's all good.
from xnamehere :
oh yes, we've known. we have no proof though. he used to live above us until his gf kicked him out after he tried to kill her. the kid's on probation for a bunch of other shit and we think (hoping) he's going to be going back to jail. as for last night, joey definitely would have gone after the kid, had we not been in the middle of kmart. *sigh* i really just want to move and be done with this shit.
from xnamehere :
wow.
from xnamehere :
i hate that too. i must click on like every single diary in the recent public entries box and most all of them are spam. then i just sit there and report the spam diaries out of spite. as for the bathroom situation, the thrill of getting caught and it being in a new place i think adds to it. :D but ya, i wish it could always be like that too...
from xnamehere :
i tend to have a pretty good idea as to what i was i was talking about as vague as i may have been, but yeah... i have those entries where i have no idea. i guess they served their purpose at the time lol.
from xnamehere :
i know right. well we have a cam hooked up now recording when we leave soo... i dunno. i miss my laptop. it's like i have to come to grips with the fact its gone... *sigh*
from blazingstar :
i feel the same way about facebook. so does my boyfriend - he says it always makes him feel depressed. the thing is i feel like it's not accurate...i mean people only post pictures of things they're proud of or things they want to brag about. people usually only update when exciting things happen, or to complain about meaningless things. so you never hear about people's hard times on there. and yet somehow...i can't bring myself to close my account...
from samcorday :
u can go on mininova...a torrent site and dl trueblood..u can get almost anything on mininova
from xnamehere :
ahh i hate when that happens.
from samcorday :
TRY a liquid cocaine shot (it's a combination of jaggermeister and goldschlager) tastes like cinnamon that packes a punch..it's really yummy...it's really german lol
from samcorday :
i think there's a season 3 for Dexter but i'm not sure.....have u watched TrueBlood? that's a really great show. HBO done good with that one lol. there's 2 seasons of trueblood. they're working on the 3rd one. Alan Ball the creator of 6 feet under created trueblood as well. it's based on the Southern Vampire Chronicles by Charlaine Harris (which are pretty good to read : )
from blazingstar :
i work in mission viejo, about 25-30 mins drive. not too bad. i always wonder where c lives because you talk about the 30-minute drive to his house.
from wtng4lezlie :
I love that show Dexter. Sadly I feel I can relate more to him than to many real people I know.. =/
from blazingstar :
haha i know, i was joking about the fall weather. where i moved from it's cold and rainy already, and the leaves are changing colors...not like here. i'm definitely still wearing flip flops. just to clarify.
from xnamehere :
glad you're feeling better that sounds like an awesome job... and yeah, i totally get the whole "wanting your own cubicle" thing lol.
from xnamehere :
it's hard to change a way of thinking - a mindset. just because you are a certain way with certain habits now doesn't mean your bound to be that way forever. clearly you want more out of life and to feel more. let that be your motivation. don't define your life by certain situations or people.
from xnamehere :
i think you gotta chase life to enjoy the fruits of it. challenge yourself. become more. life is what your make it. you can have more control than you would think.
from xnamehere :
i really like your archives layout. :D
from xnamehere :
i dunno i was getting tired of my old one. i was actually in the process of making a new one, but i seem to be uninspired lately... i really should make a new one though, i don't like the default ones.
from xnamehere :
aww anna! you're actually the reason i even use diaryland, even though i haven't been writing lately... i have been busy... lazy as well. i totally get what you mean about wanting to be an author. for me, details can really pull me in and make a story come alive. i like to be able to visualize as do a lot of people. by the way, it's ashley. :D
from mostlydead :
you've got so many choices, so many more days (or nights) to wake and open your eyes and see everything from a different perspective, to see the opportunities, the chances, the choices, the value this perspective and in yourself... someday soon i hope you wake up feeling foolish for letting yourself forget just how precious you and life and time can be... and how much you can enjoy yourself, even if nobody else gets the joke... the answer isn't 42, the answer is in you (but 42 is an amusing distraction along the way :)
from xnamehere :
ya that's messed up.
from xnamehere :
i love when your write everyday! i don't think your boring. :D
from addict-in-me :
Well, I don't suggest brutalilty. Be nice, or you might lose a friend for life.
from raven72d :
thank you.
from raven72d :
you seem interesting. May I be allowed to read?
from addict-in-me :
My advice for that is ( ok you didn't ask ) But I don't want to see you make a mistake that you might regret for a while. If something doesn't feel right, or a action you are getting ready to do doesn't feel right. Then I would not do it, I have went against my gut feelings and lost because of it.
from xnamehere :
just read your note. honestly, i guess i am having doubts and i want to kick myself for them. he adores me and i love him to death. to break up with him would be the biggest mistake i could ever make. but i feel like i'm being held back and i hate to admit that because i wouldn't want it to seem like this relationship is some sort of inconvenience for me. i feel a lot like you, like i have no time to myself and i guess the truth of the matter is i miss being single just because it meant that i could have that time to myself and do whatever i wanted. i really could just stand to go off about this, but i feel like if i do i'm going to dwell on it more. for now, i'm trying to ignore it because i value our relationship more than my freedom. i don't feel that my freedom would be worth risking this relationship.
from xnamehere :
i really like this entry anna. at first i felt the same way you do about smoking cigarettes. it just never appealed to me and i knew it was addicting so the question for me was, "why would you even start?" for me it became an after work thing though. work would stress me out and id have a cigarette on the way home and i guess i just took comfort in the thought of it. it sounds pretty stupid, but... that's just how it went. as for recreational drugs, i used to not know what to think. i felt pretty much the same way you do, it's their life and their body. i think you just have to be smart about what you do.
from addict-in-me :
Hey if you want to unlock and are worried about that other stuff maybe you should edit first. Or make another diary. Life is what you make it, their isn't enough time to hate your self, or tread on the past. If you need any advice or someone to talk to, you have my email : )
from somstar :
UN and PW?
from addict-in-me :
Hi I am glad to share my thoughts with everyone, May I have log in and pass for your diary? [email protected] Thanx
from katrinaox :
I appreciate the comment. I dont think i could actually go through with it. the anorexia is really hard after 6 days...thats how far I got.. then i gave in. I am trying to eat healthy again, and of course excersize, but it never gos anywhere for me..even after like 3 monthes..i dont see any improvment. GRRR i hate being a bigger girl.. although i do have nice curves haha
from mrbilly :
Haha, no it isn't. It's just my code name for it. I work in a bank's HQ. A lot of hours, a lot of paperwork, a lot of stress!!
from mrbilly :
Hey, thanks for the note. You heard correctly, the Underground is terrible. I have to use it every day! :(
from bettyalready :
hahaha, I liked the comment. I'm not above any of it...I just want them to want what they want and not what someone else does. The one doesn't always tell people what SHE wants. She doesn't know how to say no. People pleaser. That worries me.
from simplysex :
Well as you know from one of my entries the masturbation thing makes me feel inadequate too. So I know how you feel. But you know, some guys really are horny ALL the time. And I think horniness is really different for girls. For me I usually have to be in a certain mood to get aroused. Or sometimes I can go for weeks without feeling like I need something sexual. But for guys I think it's much more of a physical thing - I mean the fact is that their bodies are constantly producing sperm and it has to go somewhere...which is why they'll have "accidents" in the middle of the night if they're not masturbating/having sex. I know it's hard not to take it personally but some guys really can't help it. My friend's boyfriend told her that when he's about to see her he has to masturbate 5 TIMES just to get to a point where he might be able to have sex without ejaculating right away.
from doing-it :
I just finally explored my favorites list and I'd love to check out your diary! Would you mind if I had the password?
from blazingstar :
i've never had sex in a car...sounds exciting. but i know what you mean about not being so adventurous anymore. my ex and i used to do sexual things in public a lot, things that i now think were incredibly stupid and i can't imagine doing them with eric, haha...it probably was mostly a "high school" thing. but it's interesting to think about - maybe i'll do an entry about it.
from blazingstar :
hey, i'd like the password... my email is [email protected] thanks!
from xnamehere :
yep yep, i still read your entries. i'm so glad you're still writing. i would definitely write you more notes because surprisingly i relate to so much of what you say. i just get side-tracked most of the time lol.
from my-solitaire :
I didn't know you wanted to live in japan -_-
from my-solitaire :
dreams can be really fucked up, you should look on the internet for the dream book, it tells you what each thing in your dream means...
from my-solitaire :
I need the PW again :) Im a bad keeper-upper I know!
from crazymonkey6 :
Hi, I read your diary a lot and I was wondering if I could have the password to this one? Just e-mail it to [email protected] Thanks a ton <3 Ana
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon..can I have your password? I lost it when my computer crashed. You can note/e-mail me. Thanks!!
from eliant :
Hey Anna, I never got around to asking for the password for this...may I have it? You can e-mail me at [email protected] if you don't want to leave a note. Thanks very much.
from dreamer2003 :
Oh nevermind, I was able to get into your diary. I'm so sorry that you're feeling crappy. :( I hope you feel better soon and have a great thanksgiving. <33
from lostiris :
i'm sorry you feel that way, but i can understand. i hope you have a better day today, even if your family doesn't really do thanksgiving. *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon..did you change your password? I tried to get into your diary but I wasn't able to. :(
from lostiris :
he sounds so sweet :)
from dreamer2003 :
I'm proud of you!! I know that took guts. :) Even if all you and Eric will be is just friends at least you can live your life not wondering "What if I had told him how I felt."
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, I say go for it. :) He probably does feel the same way about you.
from faint-iris :
mind if i have a password? if not it's alright. :) have an awesome day anna!
from toomuchrevu :
Hey, I'm pretty sure your old username is annachan, right? Well, your review is up at Too Much Reviews! Here's the link! http://toomuchrevu.diaryland.com/annachan.html . Enjoy!! - Haley
from falsefate :
I read this diary!<3 (I've been in a similar situation before.)
from dr-evil45 :
Has a guy done you wrong? Want to share about it? Go check out http://menrbastards.diaryland.com and share your story! We want to read about the slimeballs! More info is provided, so check it out, link us, and promote! Thanks! p.s. can I come in? I forgot to email, can you email me the p/w? [email protected] Thanks love!
from dr-evil45 :
its me again- drevil45 and times is my crap, there ya go! ill email you for yours
from dr-evil45 :
hey girl I was hoping I could get your u/n and password since you locked it...if not, it's all good :) ttyl
from free2dream :
I love your diary! Thanks for giving me notes and all. I appreciate it. :) I don't exactly know who Chris is, but I'll be sure to find out as soon as I read more of your entries from the past. Take care.
from dr-evil45 :
hey thanks for adding me :) I'll add ya back girl...hope life treats you good, hope you like reading my diary, and I'm gonna read yours :) xoxox *Nicole*
from mixtape- :
Merry Chrismas! & Happy Holidays! I hope youre having fun. And that you get everything you want <3 alex
from mixtape- :
thanks for adding me. <3 and niiice...I'm the first one to leave you a note. Heh.

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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