messages to laura-diane:
(click here to add new message):

from for-you-only :
Well, the e-mail failed. This is what it said: "one of these days i'm going to make a difference in someone's life." You wrote in 2007, your last post to diaryland. You made a difference in mine. This post of yours, "Chains <http://laura-diane.diaryland.com/chains.html>," stayed with me all these years. I still use that euphemism to describe things in my life that hold me to my identity, my choices, my life. I was for-you-only on diaryland <http://for-you-only.diaryland.com/>. Today, you can find me on facebook as Raederle if you like. I just thought you should know that I was touched enough by your writing when I was 15 that I still am impacted by it at the age of 27.
from for-you-only :
(8/2/2016) I just sent you an e-mail. I don't know if you still use that e-mail or ever check your notes, but I want you to know that you made a difference in my life in a good way.
from raven72d :
still out there? i do miss you...
from raven72d :
Six years? I must have been reading you all that time...
from paintedgray :
have you forgotten about me, old friend? i have a cat named roxie.
from raven72d :
Married...*sigh*. Just as I was going to ask you for coffee or drinks!
from aloneidream :
My beautiful laura. I never write anymore either but I am glad to see you are well, and most importantly, happy. xx
from raven72d :
Do post soon.
from ilovemy240z :
Started writing again... http://zeemydust.diaryland.com/060923_22.html
from ghostofgor :
come back.
from raven72d :
Stay in touch... Tell me about the semester and about life.
from raven72d :
How is fall semester?
from i-read-you :
looks like you are getting things together -- hope this continues! :)
from myhappiness :
Yeah, I'm still around when I can be...
from raven72d :
Vur' cute little puppy!
from raven72d :
I hope you'll keep posting...and stay in touch.
from raven72d :
Anytime, beautiful!
from raven72d :
I love the graduation photo! And I'm glad you're back.
from alifewithin :
It's always good to hear from you. You look lovely.
from bigmonayho :
It's good to see a post from you. You look gorgeous in those pics!
from myhappiness :
You've been tagged, read my diary ;)
from raven72d :
I love it that you've posted... I always miss you.
from raven72d :
Are you going to the grand opening of Chimes East?
from maverick1018 :
Child, your lack of updates is driving me crazy.
from raven72d :
Who's the new person? What's he like?
from raven72d :
Congrats! And come have a drink some time.
from raven72d :
Did you come through the second storm okay?
from raven72d :
Me? Working in an office by day, teaching across town late afternoons... What will you do grad school in?
from raven72d :
I hope you're okay... What are your plans now that you're back in BRLA?
from paintedgray :
i hope youre doing okay, physically and emotionally. get your cute butt on aim sometime, missy. happy writing!
from vla :
hugs to you. and email me at vla_76@yahoo.com and I will give you my password, ok?
from cbuk :
Hey it's Leila here (previously frail-fairy) I just wanted to say Hi and that this is my new journal! Hope you are doing well - You're pics look great ;-)
from raven72d :
I hope all your friends and family in the NOLA area are okay... BRLA was only lightly touched... But the town is full of refugees and people who can't go home... NOLA is empty tonight except for soldiers and emergency crews. That's sad and scary...
from ghostofgor :
I have family in Lousiana too. Fortunatgely they all survived. No matter what people are saying, people are trying very hard to save them. Many people took their lives for granted and now that they dont have, they cry louder than the ones just grateful for life. Hang tight miss laura. Things will get better, in time.
from science-boy :
**gives you a big hug** s-b
from ghostofgor :
Cant always blame yourself for what has failed. All relationships are 50/50 no matter how guilty we feel. Sort of hard to see the big picture in the trenches. I will lend you My stilts. Wear a pillow on yer bum.
from i-read-you :
:( sounds like you need hugs! maybe a shoulder to cry on, too. please keep posting, so your on-line friends know how you are doing.
from ghostofgor :
You have friends you dont know about miss laura. And sometimes its those friends which never leave. Best regards. GOG
from raven72d :
what was the site at envy.nu that you always linked to?
from i-read-you :
hope you and he get lots of sunlight and love and joy! :)
from i-read-you :
I skipped d-land over the weekend, so missed giving you timely birthday greetings! :( hope you had a happy one. :)
from emoaddict :
happy birthday! i hope everything goes well for you and your brother. i know i've been thinking good thoughts about all of yall over the past few weeks.
from ghostofgor :
happy bday miss laura....
from grandbeach :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! I hope things start going better for your brother.
from bigmonayho :
Good to hear from you! Hope you have a great birthday!
from i-read-you :
good that your bro gets out. sometime between now and whenever, he has to get his act together enough to make his own (hopefully mature) decisions. hope that happens sooner rather than later! ============================================= meanwhile, how are _you_ doing?
from grandbeach :
I don't know if even mcdonald's will hire him if he can't pass a criminal record check... they end up with so many ex-employees robbing them they may not like the idea of hiring an ex felon. That being said, there is SO much room for promotion if they would hire him and they provide SO much training to managers (and crew) that it's not that horrible a place to work (could be different in the states, but i doubt it's too different from here). I wish your brother best wishes and I wish for you to have the strength to be able to help him through this tough time. Good luck.
from i-read-you :
yes I missed you. hope your bro gets his act together!
from moretoknow :
Well we always love you. That much I can offer. The fact that we haven't, and won't, forget.
from raven72d :
Go to class, girl... And do well. You always have my best wishes.
from bone-fetish :
The other day I was at the gym and my knee dislocated. This is a fairly normal thing for me, and I was so frusterated/pissed at my body for not fuctioning to perfection. I cannot over exercise...oh the furry! (sarcasm). I went to class later that day, and an older man in a wheelchair wheeled himself into the classroom and placed his chair right next to me. He smiled at me, and then persisted to get set up to begin taking notes. He was paralyzed from the waist down. I was crying and mad at God because my knees give me problems occasionally; this man can't even walk. My point is, we all have those days; but there's always that reality check waiting around the corner, and I'm glad it's there. xoxo -Bone
from maverick1018 :
That email is really sad. It makes me thankful for my own upbringing as well. I wish we could make people go through a series of tests before they breed.
from i-read-you :
yes, I missed you. Glad you were a positive influence and factor in the 3-year-ol-in-the-cold-alone situation! :)
from paintedgray :
thanks for the note. i totally agree. im just so glad he's not my responsiblity anymore, y'know? well happy writing darling. sign online too so you can talk to me! -deb
from bigmonayho :
I just have super-sensitive skin, so that's probably why.
from i-read-you :
glad you are feeling okay -- but DO check with the doc about the meds! Best wishes for a fantastic 2005. :)
from raven72d :
Happy 2005, girl. Please do keep writing-- and know that you have people here towish you the best.
from paintedgray :
just shouting a big ole "HI!!!" and that i miss speaking to you on-line. i dont like hearing you sound sad. come on aim, we'll chat :) happy writing dollface! -deb
from i-read-you :
follow your instinct -- talk to the doc about the meds! If they aren't working, then either change to a different one or increase the dosage. If you don't talk to the doc the doc may well think the meds are working as hoped -- and you know better! So should the doc! Please let us (or at least me) know when you've talked to the doc, and what decisions were made then. :)
from bigmonayho :
Thanks for answering my question!!! I hope everything goes okay for you on Christmas
from raven72d :
I hope things go better...and that Xmas goes well for you...
from bigmonayho :
Hey, I was wondering, did you gain weight with prozac? Did it make you nauseous?
from jaggedvision :
http://labellabitch.blogspot.com
from i-read-you :
sometimes wheon one goes through an exceptionally rough time, even friendly supportive words have no immediate effect ======================================== ((laura-diane)) but hugs might help! :)
from alifewithin :
we're always here for you. You'll make it. I have complete and utter faith in you.
from aloneidream :
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I hope I will never be in that situation myself as I realise how difficult it must be for you. Sending you all my love Han
from i-read-you :
God IS sure He believes in you -- and in your brother!
from ghostofgor :
your brothers penance for his pain is prison. He will be watched, tested by his peers, and maybe even taken advantage of. (addicts are the footsoldiers of prisons) But It might be the lack of drugs which keeps him alive. The only one who can help him now, is himself. And to be honest....I don think he wants to see anyone seeing him like that. But maybe knowing you support him and there is something or someone out there for him when he gets out will help in the long run.
from raven72d :
Rain, rain... But nothing spectacular. Glad to hear from you!
from raven72d :
Glad to hear that you came through okay... I hope things get better-- and that you remember that people back in BRLA do miss you.
from i-read-you :
glad you survived the flooding -- hope they get your carpeting replaced and any other damage repaired. Best of luck! Is Ryan with you now?
from vla :
Hey, I'm glad you wrote. Take care! And update when you can.
from myhappiness :
Hey, sorry I haven't sent you a note sooner. Man, thats so devastating about that hurricane. I'm sure its making an emotional impact too. Hang in there.
from aloneidream :
it's not to do with having a right, although if it was you gained it by loving your friend so much. grief is part of what makes us stronger. we learn from it and become better people. at least i hope we do. i still grieve everyday for something i lost seven years ago. what right do i have?
from i-read-you :
you have every right to be you -- and that includes dealing with life the way you do. comparing yourself with others is like mixing apples and oranges. :)
from laura-ly :
I've been found. I don't want to continue to hurt people, so I just can't do this anymore. But I still read you. Take care of yourself. -Laura
from vodkatonic :
Username=matthew, password=trustnoone :-)
from raven72d :
I'll miss you! And I'm sad we never got to meet here in town.
from jackviolent :
i'm glad you liked california. it's weird. it kind of feels like the first time you have a friend over to your house, you know? i've missed you and i hope all is well.
from ghostofgor :
by procrastinating packing it makes you feel like you have more time to stay. That your afraid to leave in a way. You might even feel better once your away, but for now it will seem very cloudy, the road ahead. Best of luck, miss laura. GOG
from bigmonayho :
I forgot what I made the password for for my pic page when I made it. I don't have any pics up there. Any I do have I just post up on my regular diary or I have up on webshots at:http://community.webshots.com/user/bigmonayho.
from paintedgray :
thank you for the welcome back! please update more! i'm hungry for more laura-diane! happy writing. -deb
from i-read-you :
happiness is NOT guaranteed. don't wait passively (good to see you're taking an active stance already!), keep searching and get some satisfaction from the effort. I'm not the only one who has confidence in you! :)
from ghostofgor :
some who read do so for the right reasons. Some who write do so for personal reasons. I wish you well miss laura, and do keep in touch. You will be missed....
from paintedgray :
wheres an update? c'mon, hun, write something!!
from britneypink :
Thanks for the advice on the software. I do like ad-aware. Its those darn Pop-ups. Stopzilla has been helping.
from i-read-you :
good luck with the dentist -- and take the teeth home with you for the tooth fairy! ;)
from i-read-you :
awww! send me an e-mail via diaryland if you want. :)
from pinkerchunks :
thanks for the note. I'd like to know more about the pills..although I just got a perscription for 12 months of my old pills. Can I have a password for your diary? please.
from ghostofgor :
A luau garuntees everyone will get "lei'ed". You're so thoughtful like that. Do stay healthy and write when you can.
from aloneidream :
I hope you are well, or better at least x
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're still out there. Too many people have left this summer. I'm glad you're still writing.
from bigmonayho :
Could I get your username and password? And thanks for the sweet note!!
from i-read-you :
touching entry! thanks for sharing.
from raven72d :
How is your health? Are you okay?
from moretoknow :
Um...so Laura...er...I know I already got the password and stuff to your diary but, heh, I wrote it on a sticky note...which has run away. :( Help?
from ghostofgor :
despite the worry you think you will cause, inquiring minds want to know your woes. Like me for example...... I wont bite.
from raven72d :
I hope you're doing a bit better... And I hope you will keep writing... Don't let the medication thing worry you. Think of it as insulin, or as the decongestants I'll be taking always... Do stay in touch.
from aloneidream :
Am I allowed to ask why we're all locked up?
from tornpieces87 :
Thanks for the password to your diary.
from frail-fairy :
Honey - I have just been able to log on after a long while and it's locked :O Please can I have a name and password to read??? Miss chattin too xox L x (ps: my email is dvcsgirl@hotmail.com)
from tornpieces87 :
I noticed you locked your diary. For whatever reason I can't hide my disappointment because I have read your diary for awhile now and I really felt like someone out there understood and could put into words what I never could. By the way I don't know you I am just a harmless girl from Nashville,Tennessee
from guitkoko :
Um... Not really sure how long I've read you.. but a long time, and now I don't have access. PLEASE let me read you! I am harmless. Female, 29 from Cincinnati - Guitkoko. Love, Me.
from laura-ly :
Could I have the username/password, please? ThatVeganGirl@aol.com.
from inkedangel9 :
ooohhh darlin, you know i need the password! hook me up? please please please?
from science-boy :
You can stop yourself from being googled. Just add the code inside your HTML tags that say < HEAD > </HEAD >: <META NAME="ROBOTS" CONTENT="NOINDEX, NOFOLLOW"> Make sure to put it in your older pages templates also. I hope it helps! s-b
from feelsnothing :
Hey! I noticed you locked it up...can I please have the username and pass? Chan4305@yahoo.com
from bluerelic :
hey for some reason i was just trying to leave myself a note and your diary's username & password box popped up. you don't know me, mind if i read? if you're still around that is.
from moretoknow :
Thanks darling dearest. The info's promptly deleted so no one who feels like snooping can get through. Love you tons.
from vla :
Hey, did you lock up for good? I would miss reading you. Can I have your password, if you're cool with that? Hope everything is ok. Take care.
from imaphatpig :
sorry to hear that things have been shotty for you. Thanks for the FYI. It will get better, lady! It can ALWAYS get better. Good to hear that the meds are working and helping. You are in my thoughts! -A
from vodkatonic :
If you're giving out your password, i'd like to have it please.
from steph836 :
I'd love to have your username and password if that's okay. You can email it to takemybreathaway78@yahoo.com or leave it in my notes and I'll delete it. I hope you're doing well.
from ghostofgor :
I think even letting people read a diary thats containing such secret thoughts an irony anyway. Perfect strangers are safer to the nerves than people we know who wouldnt stop criticizing us for it. Cheer up, I will have to blow a raspberry.....
from jaggedvision :
may i have the password, sweetie? you can email me at LeBelTriste@aol.com if you want. I hope everything's okay with you.
from raven72d :
Thanks for the p/w... I hope things are going well... I wish I'd been able to offer you coffee or a drink before you left town... But I will be reading along with you. Best wishes on everything.
from ilovemy240z :
Hey toots? Why you locky upy? password please? Hope you're doing well... *huggles*
from moretoknow :
I leave for how many days Laura? Like 4. And what happens? You go and lock things up! Joking, of course, but what I really wanted to say was that I love you, tons. And that no matter what this is for, I trust you, if you feel like sharing the password and the like, I'd still read, but if this diary is for you now--I understand. Best of wishes and I love you much.
from grandbeach :
could I have your username and password, pretty please?
from bigmonayho :
Could I have you username and password please?
from anexperiment :
Laura, I must have your username and password! Best wishes, -Experiment
from maverick1018 :
Password? Username? Hadn't talked to ya in awhile
from autumn-death :
You and tequila are cute! I like your diary a lot. If you want to check mine out here is the stuff you need. u: stella p: star
from ghostofgor :
The meds miss laura basically make you feel numb. its a dxrawback of antidepressants. You feel nothing. Or like your looking inside a bubble at yourself. its why I stopped taking them, I needed to feel like Me again. Good or bad. But try them anyway.....they might help.
from globe :
If you are looking for more traffic, we could be of service to you! :-) We would love to have you as part of Globe Listings. Thank you so very much. Have a nice day!
from poppattiger :
2. where at in baton rouge and 3. boondock saints is my favorite movie and if u like that check out poolhall junkies
from poppattiger :
ive got three things 1. ur a beautiful girl
from science-boy :
I just wanted to say 'Hey' so, Hey! We haven't chatted in a while and I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. So I am! If you want to chat about anything, drop me a line. I will be here if you need, or want, me. Well, to talk about something, not necessarily in the "want" way, but you know what I mean. Smile for me, baby!! Have a great holiday! OXOX s-b
from frail-fairy :
Haven't spoken to you in ages! I haven't had access to a computer unfortunately! Mail me and let me know how you are doing! Why do you wanna cry babe? *Hugs* Leila x
from paintedgray :
whats wrong??? cheer up!
from ghostofgor :
can I ask whats troubling you miss laura?
from jimmysworld :
So I guess I should call you a slut. But usually I try to get to know you first.
from raven72d :
Congrats on many things. I'm just sorry you're moving away before ever I could say hi to you.
from for-you-only :
Wow, that dream would have scarred me too! Hope you sleep better! -Pink
from feelsnothing :
Oh my god, that scared me! I thought it was real...
from raven72d :
I hope your dreams are better...and that you're not alone at night.
from these-bones :
I'm sorry I didn't check sooner.... Username-wicked password-squirt
from purex :
wahoo for being in love!
from zerodoll :
i hope your dr. helps you and doesnt just push pills like mine. hope things are ok, school is almost over right? thats something to be happy about. much love, sharla
from small-one :
*I* feel like you're worsening. but what do YOU think?
from for-you-only :
I find then when you think someone is going to leave you, that inhances the chances of someone leaving you...
from raven72d :
The thought of purging Mexican food is...scary.
from tawny-amber :
Just wanted to tell you I really enjoy your journal. If you ever need to chat or anything (even if that's what your journal's for) don't hesistate to drop me a note (m88nbaby@msn.com)
from raven72d :
Happy Late Birthday... And I hope you do feel much more like facing the world.
from for-you-only :
I'm curious about purging and eating disorders... It seems that while people thinking that they are fat is always involved, but in most cases I've heard of, the person is stressed in a lot of ways. My interest was peaked when I suddenly realized how irregular my appitite and eating habits have become. I get sick after eating about half the time. I never know just how hungry I am until I eat something, sometimes I find I'm not hungry at all, and sometimes I eat my share of food plus two other peoples... I'm nervous. Is this where things started for you?
from anotherwish :
just passing through and sending you alll the love and hugs in the world cause i know exactly where ur at
from ghostofgor :
hugs for you, miss laura.....
from everxsilent :
i <3 your diary. =) its pretty.
from thespark :
Yo, yo, yo! We're a collection of Super Cool writers. You should be a part of us! Come on over, baby!
from mzbs17 :
No problem. Thought your diary was interesting, yeah.
from jdknght :
Happy belated birthday. I want to say something really enlightening but the only way to say anything to you right now is to keep your eyes open and listen to what people are telling you. You're moving to this 'good place', live in that moment. take care
from starlight42 :
Happy belated Birthday!
from for-you-only :
Hey! Happy birthday! I may have left you a note about this before... But I'm doing interviews for my DL buddies in exchange for reviews from them. I will post your review with a link to your diary and would expect vise vera. btw, What is wrong with the knee in the girl in the pic? Write me back! -Pink
from charismagurl :
Wow, I'm impressed you noticed that I added you. :) Should you ever wish to read mine (I warn you, it's been really boring since I've been in college), the un is charismagurl and the pw is biteme. Oh yeah, and happy belated birthday!
from xinpheldspbx :
A very happy (belated) birthday to you. And a very happy every other day to you on top of that.
from science-boy :
Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!!! I hope it's a good one!! <BR>See ya' soon! s-b
from crazystar01 :
Just wanted to say hi! :) Happy belated birthday!
from feelsnothing :
happy happy birthday happy happy birthday happy happy happy happy happy happy BIRTHDAY!!
from ghostofgor :
happy, bday.....hope a present came your way.
from want-reasons :
all things are as they should be.the pain will end and all that is past is really that.it is past.another trip switch is set in place, so that you can't short circuit.never be afraid of this.we know you are.but you are strong and you are only given what you can handle. (katie jane garside)
from luv2last4eva :
Happy birthday! I hope you had a good one!
from candoor :
Happy Birthday :)
from steph836 :
It's my best friend Lindsey's birthday today too! Well, hope yours was good!
from x--kat--x :
happy birthdya hun! hope you have a super fantastic one! xoxo
from watty :
Happy birthday! Hope you had a fun day. All the best to you. =)
from cutielatina :
Lauras rule!!! Happy birthday, fellow Laura:) Cuidate...
from laura-ly :
Happy Birthday, Chica!
from grandbeach :
Happy Birthday!! You're amazing, don't forget that!
from onepinkrose :
Happy Birthday
from feelsnothing :
I dont think that asking someone to be a little more careful because your feeling down is too much at all. That person should care enough about how you feel to not want to make you hurt more....ya know?
from zerodoll :
girl you have to let some of your sadness and anger out. even if you feel silly i think it will help. i hate to cry infront of people even my close friends but sometimes i just cant help it. if he cares for you im sure he doesnt mind. let some of yourself go and i think it migh help. take care of yourself. with my love, sharla
from the-thinline :
dear, the user is : dontjudge and password is: me (for schampy) take care <love.<me>
from ghostofgor :
ask.....and ye shall recieve...... o_o
from aloneidream :
When I was a little girl I was afraid of dying in my sleep. Casualty (a hospital drama) increased my fears adding to them with tropical diseases and horrific car accidents. Most of all I was scared everyone around me would die and I'd be alone. I still don't sleep well at night. I'm glad you're still around. x
from ghostofgor :
no. If it felt real, as unreasonable as it seems its a genuine fear. You were afrid of the unknown menace. I was afraid of the dark, and deep water. Not knowing whats out there, and the feeble attempts we made to protect ourselves. There were nights I would wake, and run heart racing into My parents room late at night. The fear was indeed real. I still get the heebie-jeebies depending on My mental state. Phobias are rarely reasonable. But the fear is real.
from ghostofgor :
Ive had unreasonable dreams like that too. Some I stil have, and they are so profound and realistic, I have woken Myself as I was fighting back in My sleep, or I was grinding My teeth so hard I had pain the next day. The mind can cripple us in ways real life never can. Hope things get better. GOG
from for-you-only :
Hey, I was wondering if you would do a review for my diary in exchange, I'll do one for you, and then we each add an entry with the each other's review and a link to their diary. It's a way to help keep reader's circulating, and it's interesting and fun. ;) Write me back when you get a chance.
from abeft11 :
i liked your list, it made me realize that the one thing ive been missing during my 4 years in college is travelling. the only ones i didn't check were the been to europe and mardi gras- thanks for making me realize!
from these-bones :
Hey! Uh...my username/password for my diary are: wicked; squirt (password)
from aloneidream :
www.mcflyofficial.com
from lostbymyself :
hey i found ur diary on one of my friends note's board. I just wanted to let you know that i like ur diary. And that you can read mine if you want.. maybe you could understand life better. http://crytoanother.diaryland.com
from ladyvaduva :
sorry I never wrote back sooner! I love the way u write.. straight from the hip.. and ur idea of the disclaimer is vunderbar! absotutleutely! :-) cheers
from bigmonayho :
Thanks you very much for the compliment, you made my week!
from starlight42 :
I can sort of relate to your entry about feelings. Even though everything is fine in my life, sometimes it just feels like I'm going through the emotions. And I'd rather be reading or watching tv or on the computer instead of interacting with people! This can't be good...I don't know, maybe everyone has a bit of this in them. I guess it might just take a conscious effort to get out of those habits of not feeling or not dealing. Or just being vulnerable. Good luck!
from anexperiment :
Laura, I find it sad that you love someone simply because they make you "feel." That kind of reminds me of some sort of emotional self-mutilation. You must be in a miserable state. Best wishes, -Experiment
from frail-fairy :
No worries hope you are okay! mail me sometime!I am going to add you to my msn if that's cool! Take care! Leila xox
from drowningblue :
Hey, of course you can read my diary. the un is blue and the ps is tears. i only locked it because i found my diary address on the history on my parents' computer. bleh. anyways, keep in touch. xxoo
from xinpheldspbx :
As someone who's spent a lot of time putting himself back together single-handedly, you have to pick things up so you can let them go again. And letting it go is the important part. A wonderous, amazing person who's broken is a wonderous, amazing person that can be fixed. Remember that.
from shygirl-1977 :
They say things from the past (feeling and memeroy) come back when you ready to handle them, one at a time. I notice in my life, that you mostly remember the stuff from your childhood that had a big inpact on you. Good or Bad. You also remember the thought that you had. Good or Bad.
from thintowin :
OK, the pics you requested are up, just go back a few. :)
from lady-dra :
I made a new philosophy "Life's a bitch spank it" :) cheer up it gets better sometimes and sometimes it gets worse that is life you just gotta smile at it and go on.
from small-one :
thanks.
from dokuritsu :
life has tried to break your spine every day since you have been born. yet still, you woke up today. that alone is spitting in the face of the adversity that is existence. be proud you've made it this far - that is meaning in life.
from soror :
Be strong.
from silverscorp :
Hey Laura, Today and all day I'm going to burn a candle for you. You're in my thoughts-Jen
from science-boy :
Yes. You can. Others enhance the meaning and make the experience more enjoyable. You are the outfit, they are the accessories. Let me know how I can help! s-b
from maverick1018 :
Hey kid, I think you'll be able to handle the past with the help of your therapist. This might just be the thing you have always needed.
from silverscorp :
Hey chic, i was considering moving to P-cola in the fall too. Not for sure yet, just in the air. Yes we will definitely meet. Take care
from science-boy :
You can do it. I just know it. It won't be easy, I am not saying it will. But you can do it. "Long and hard is the way that out of darkness leads into the light." - Milton Let me know if I can help. s-b
from maverick1018 :
I hope you're doing well kiddo.
from silverscorp :
Hey, not sure if you are the one who signed my guestbook, if you did, the answer to that question would be Crestview, near Pensacola. If you didn't ask, sorry my mistake. Hope you're well.
from the-thinline :
dear, i wish that i could wring the pain from your mind and body so that you could be as healthy and happy as you deserve. life does deal a hard hand of cards and we all turn to what we feel works to try to win the game. death, in the end, does win but it's always best to give him his money's worth. i can relate to your sorrow and i do not believe you deserve it. i am glad to see that you are seeing someone to talk because that can relieve a lot of pain. i enjoy your writing and look foreward to reading more. take care <love><me>
from godmoney :
"what have i become/ my sweetest friend/ every1 i kno goes away in the end." ur last entry totally reminded me of nin lyrix.
from feysuicides :
Surfed in from a link, and glad I did! You're a very interesting young woman and it seems like you have a lot on your plate and you're only 20! Sorry to hear about the misfortunes in your life, but just trust in God and you'll have the most strength you've ever had! Feel free to e-mail me! I'm overly-friendly! xoxo, Merci http://www.geocities.com/sweet_jane258
from starlight42 :
wow...I just kind of randomly found your diary and I loved your Chains entry!! You're a great writer. I wish you luck with everything.
from laura-ly :
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to have to see a counselor because as of next year, I don't get financial aid due to not having enough units. But you know what scares me? My mind is telling me to hurry and lose 20 more lbs. before then, so they'll feel sorry for me if I look more "disordered".
from grandbeach :
I stumbled across your diary and think it is amazing. I saw your pictures, you are so beautiful. I think someone already mentionned this but you really don't want to be too skinny and if you lose much more weight, you will be. Too skinny is not beautiful. I know that a million people could tell you this and it won't make an ounce of difference. It's all about how you feel inside. I'm glad to see you've acknowledged your 'chains' and are doing something to help yourself. Might I suggest seeing some sort of nutritionist or something along those lines. They can teach you what proper things to eat to keep healthy. I know we all think we know what to eat and whatnot but you have an ED and that will cloud your judgement. Perhaps if a professional teaches you how to make healthy and wise decisions regarding food (along with counselling) you will be better able to cope with and hopefully recover from depression and your ED. I'm sorry for such a long note, I just got carried away. Good Luck!
from lilbobo :
your a great writer ... I'm really glad ur facing ur problems instead of denying them or ignoring them...shows character..ur beautiful (",)
from inkedangel9 :
sorry for the delay in reply. the website for my brother's band is noizbox.com. there is also a link on there to the fansite which has all the good pictures. be warned though, the fansite takes forever to load sometimes. i hope your spring break was great and thanks for the birthday wishes!
from raven72d :
I hope the spring break was good to you-- fun, a dark tan, lots of excitement. And do come up and say hi if ever you're at the Chimes...
from science-boy :
When are you coming back!?!? I miss you! I hope you had a good time at the beach! Have a great day. s-b (science fact: the beach is so calming because the natural rhythms cause our internal clocks to slow and calm down, giving us a sense of rest. Also, the water churning itself releases negatively charged (meaning they have energy) particles that are attracted to our drained, positively charges souls further refreshing us.) I'm such a geek! Come and visit! Later!
from rkwj1 :
Happy St. Patricks Day May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine upon your face. And rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of His hand. Later,ROB
from pisces31 :
I jealous!!!! I wish I was on the beach right now! I hope you have a great time! =)
from raven72d :
I hope the beach goes well...
from ghostofgor :
as that was quite the mouthful, this isnt a lecture, but old habits die hard. Especialy if we justify them in our minds, then they will never go away. And I think it to be very mature thinking, knowing you arent ready for those things.....in your own time you will be. And frankly, you need to be alone for a while. To regain the feeling of who you are, focus on other things, and take the emphasis away from these relationships with obviously selfish men. There are men who can love unconditionally. Not to sound arrogant, Im one of them. But its done at a personal cost to My own needs, My own safety. I am one who loves too deeply, and looks for reasons to hang on. We relive the same failing signs when love in concerned, and we merely think by holding on a minute longer, or trying harder....things will work out. Easier said than done. I will try and elaborate in a email, instead of taking up all this space.
from kris-tee :
I always feel superficial. My mom tells me to work more on the "inside" then the "out" and I would really feel beautiful. I am four and a half months pregnant and almost twice a day, I think about how after I have the baby I am going to religously eat 1000 calories a day. I keep telling myself, I WILL be 125 in six weeks after the baby is born.
from vacantlegend :
Trick or Treat! ... um, hav a nice evening
from sofox :
It looks good with the dark theme. Got me off somewhat.
from brutalyoga :
i found you through virgin suicides. i enjoyed reading you. i am sure you hear this lots, but i will just say it. from what i see from your pic, you do not need to starve yourself. i need to starve myself:)
from luv2last4eva :
sweetie, in your pictures you look lovely. and kris-tee is right in saying that 139 is not bad at all. You look beautiful and I just don't want you to be unhealthy. Please take care of yourself. You're in my prayers.
from iamapixie :
You write beautifully. I stumbled across your diary somehow and couldn't stop reading. I don't know enough about weightloss to help you really. I just wanted to say hi. Ok I had better go as sleep is always a good choice. Nice diary. -Eileen
from jdknght :
You're welcome. I'm a native of New Orleans. You seem to have a lot going for you but keep missing the sweet spots. I've agreed with alot of what you write about.
from insanegerbil :
Oh,and to answer your question...on 600 calories a day, it would depend on how long you've had your ed and how serious you ever were about it. Like me myself,it'll be 13 years,since I was 6. My metabolism is all sorts of fucked up-on 600 a day,I'd gain weight..to lose I'd need to lower to 300 at most, but I can easily drop 30 pounds in a month at 127...so maybe you'd lose 15 if you're eatting twice the amount(600)
from insanegerbil :
bless your heart...I could never handle slim fast. Liquid calories.. might as well drink juicy juice. Devils drink, all of it. I'd stick to crystal light instead. You totally rock.
from hogwarts1 :
Umm, is that You in that picture? I'm not a boy or anything, I was just wondering cause it takes a lot of guts to pose nude of the camera or anything. Wow-much!
from laura-ly :
Totally depends on your metabolism, and how many calories a day you eat now. But I would have to say, it would be better to maybe eat an extra 100-200 cals, then exercise them off, so you don't look flabby. If you lose weight really quickly, w/ no increased activity, you might not be as happy with your results. Theoretically, if you just ate the 600, and did absolutly nothing all day, you'd lose about 7.5 lbs. But depending on your lifestyle, and activities, it will probably be atleast an additional 3-5 lbs. Hope I helped!
from fcukmeover :
hey. i've been reading your diary for probably a month now, and i've really come to adore you as a person. you seem to be alot like me. im in a situation similiar to yours.. not the events, but the way you feel. but you're obviously stronger than me. i hope to learn somethings more from your diary. all i can say is that you obviously meant alot to him if he went to such lengths to lie about her. think about it. if he didnt care, he wouldnt have bothered. hes not a bad guy, just made some bad decisions. see what happens. but honestly, youre leaving soon anyways, spend time with those who really matter-- your family and friends. youre never lonely if youve got those people in your life who care about you.
from feelsnothing :
That was quite the dickhead thing to do (on his part I mean)
from annamarie84 :
haha i looked at your picture and thougt you looked familiar. then i read your from Louisiana too. But i don't know you, i just know a few girls that look like you. atleast in that pic. Im from New orleans.
from catchthewave :
No problem. :-) I really like you writng... -danielle
from kris-tee :
Hi, I like your diary alot. Personally, I think you should do more snopping on your bf. I mean, alot of people will say I am wrong, but if you want to know, you want to know. I don't care if it's wrong or not, if I thought my husband was up to no good, I would try to find out. I don't know what to say about the whole interview thing. I have been in some pretty messed up relationships and usually if you have a "feeling" something is not right, your probably right by feeling that way. My ex-bf and I had been broken up for a WEEKEND, we were together for FIVE years (15-20yrs old), I drive by his house one morning, not expecting to find anything and a girl with her hair WET (as in just got out of the shower) is walking out of his house with him. AND, she was not even cute or pretty. A weekend?? oh well, when he found out I was getting married he freaked and said it was going to haunt him the rest of his life. Oh well, he should have treated me better. (oh yeah, I'm 23 now, I have a husband, he is 23, we have been married since Sept. 20 and now I'm pregnant (unplanned). Check out my diary if you would like, I have been reading yours, I like it.
from playgurl1006 :
You're welcome and its the truth. I don't lie to people about their looks.
from playgurl1006 :
Just to let you know, you are a very pretty person. Okay I'm done!
from geadvise :
If you would like some personal advice from someone who has been and is still going through this, then please contact Gothiceyes at GEadvise. I hope I can help
from silverscorp :
Hey girl! I know how you feel about Ryan. Most of us have all been there. Personally from the experiences I have learned from the past, I would rather except and move on. We can't be mad at how a person feels, but we can be upset if they lead us on. And it sounds like what he's doing. My experience: My first love and I had not seen one another for 3 years and we set up meeting in R.I. to see if what we felt in the past was still there, well he had me feeling that things would work out, but when we saw one another, things were there definitely for me, but he told me that he needed time. Well I guess he needed just a week, because about a month ago I found out he flew his "supossedly ex girlfriend" out to R.I. the very next weekend. What a slap in the face. I honestly would have dealt with it better if he just would have been honest. If the truth is what you need, ask him by all means. A smart woman like yourself will see it in his eyes. But you have to be willing to except his words. Honestly if you're moving here to good ole pensacola, forget about him. I know its easier said then done, but right now you need, I think, to focus more on yourself, do something for you. I'm finally standing my ground on who I am and it's much easier to not let things or people get to me. Anyway most of that probably didnt make much sense, because I was trying to make it short. My aol screenname is jennay515, give me instant message some time. I live close to Pensacola, and would love to hang out when you move here. Take care of yourself- Jen
from ghostofgor :
I will start at the beginning. I work in the fitness dept of the largest Sporting goods company in the country. My dept, is the number 1 dept in all the stores. Diet, isnt about cutting calories. its about eating the right amount of calories, the right amount of times. Depression you mentioned and feeling sick? have kept you from your normal gym routines. That has slowed your metabolism some. Not eating, makes the body go into starvation mode, and it actually makes almost all calories turn to fat. It also makes muscle break down for energy instead. So as upset as you are, it will only make eating, dieting, and working out that much harder. Dieting is less important, than your emotional and mental well being. Especially if its a source of stress. You are young, and in good shape to begin with, dont let a few vanity pounds destroy your self image dear laura. As for your ryan.... I do think he isnt being totally honest with you, and those "mistakes" he made with the dates might have been subconcious attempts at covering some truths. As much as you are worried about losing him, the drama which is unfolding in front of your face, is it really worth stressing yourself into oblivion for a man you are leaving for Florida for? He knows your leaving, and maybe, just maybe he is moving on too. Attempts to keep it civil, and not bitter might explain his cordial attitude. I understand you have grown attached to him, I will even venture to say love to some degree. if you didnt all this with his "ex" wouldnt bother you. I would be just as upset. Actions speak louder than words. He says one thing, details and occurances say another. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck it certainly isnt a chicken. If what he says to you, contradicts what you see, he is probably full of shit laura. This is of course a outside observation, but you deserve someone who will support you, and not lead you on so much. In the end, he isnt worth the tears. I am sorry it had to come to that. Break the chain, and be free of the guilt, and regret. Best wishes.. Ghost
from soultonic :
Hey girl-Sorry to hear you had a bad night. I'm thinking about you. Take care.
from bryan12603 :
I don't think I'd every seen pictures of you before. You're very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very pretty. Why are so many smart, talented, good and attractive people sad?
from rkwj1 :
Great Entry! It's really making me think about what chains are around me. Thanks Later,ROB
from pisces31 :
Thanks for leaving me a note! We like a lot of the same things.. and I see we read alot of the same diaries too... weird, since I just found your diary through your banner. Hope you can read my diary sometimes too. =)
from emptynes :
doll, very good reading, taking a peek into your life. if it isn't mean to say, i am glad it isn't all sun-shiny; i wish it was for you, but there is a certain satisfaction in finding more of us damaged out there. selah.
from aloneidream :
I wish I could make it alright
from raven72d :
Congrats! But also...I'll miss the idea of another D-Lander being here in the city, and wondering if I'd have the nerve to introduce myself if ever I saw you out.
from luv2last4eva :
i wish you luck with him. my advice is to make terms clear in the beginning since you are moving and just have fun with it.
from gumphood :
maybe if you write about him, you can work out how you feel.
from orlok :
Thank you for the kind note :-) I hope that the lame comment that someone left in your guestbook doesn't get to you. Take care :-)
from ghostofgor :
you are correct, that person was in fact a female reproductive organ......
from maverick1018 :
I don't want to say something lame like, "be happy," so BE HAPPY!!! either that or take out your frustrations on the nearest idiot.
from yedi :
I don't know ya', but I have to say, I like your diary.
from gumphood :
when did most of these feelings of isolation and depresion begin, or has it been so long you can't even put you finguer on it?
from gumphood :
Well it was much better than any of MY banners...let me tell you...ha
from gumphood :
I liked it enough to add it. Kewl
from gumphood :
Hey there. A few things, cause I am presently reading your diary. 1) Why that banner. Any particualr reason 2) I like alot of your entries. They are caputring. I will read more, but I have enjoyed it thus far.
from maverick1018 :
hadn't heard from ya in awhile kiddo... maybe I should transfer in that psych class with you
from ghostofgor :
*smiles* often it takes others to point out the obvious. To be shown clearly what it means to see ourselves as we really are. Im glad you met Dr Spears. As feelings you might have surpressed in therapy have now risen, you are free to face them. I am certain, if you wrote to him, or asked to speak to him, hje would reply. One step at a time, one day at a time. When you begin to love yourself, more than others do......life will begin to make sense again. Good luck, Miss laura-diane....
from laura-ly :
Wow, that was beautiful. Just...Wow.
from candikurlz :
Hey... I'm not sure if you ever read my diary and now can't get in but I had to change the password cause someone I knew hacked in by finding it in someone's notes and is blackmailing me with it *sigh*... When it's over I'll give you another password k?
from chantelle88 :
Hey, I'm adding you to my favorite diarys, because I like what I see. =D I hope that's alright with you. If it's not just write me a note back. See ya!
from godhatesu :
no problem
from raven72d :
I hope the car thing works out well.
from godhatesu :
I love the graphics and your choice of words
from raven72d :
Great photos... both you and of the small fluffy kitties.
from raven72d :
Y'know... I've never seen an episode of Sex & The City... I wonder what that mean...
from feelsnothing :
I love that movie. Book good?
from kimisamazing :
try kafka, wilde, or a philosophy book. it'll cheer you up.
from x--kat--x :
hey hunn! thanx for the message. i love your diary ... everything you say - tis real! yay! i hope you get better soon... evryone i know is also getting sick! xoxo
from caraxus :
Thanks for the message - the way you write really appeals to me and from both a writer's and personal point of view it's really well put together. Hope you're feeling better. Caraxus xo
from acuttersedge :
Your welcome, I added you because I like your work. I believe writing is an art. And you have it mastered. Keep it up.
from thevow :
Hope you feel better soon. Sex in the city is a good way to pamper. :)
from laura-ly :
Thank you...and I hope everything turns out okay for you with him, or you without him. Just listen to your heart, and never forget how beautiful you are-inside and out.
from laura-ly :
Funny you should ask...I don't think we'll be seeing much of each other anymore. I'll update with the details. And yours?
from guitargod :
Just read the last entry... I relate all too well to what you're saying... And I'm really just too depressed to continue on that train of thought, just understand that I understand =)
from for-you-only :
Do you live in a really small city? Buffalo is so huge, I could NEVER know everyone in my age group. How big is your city? Maybe it's time for a chance of place?
from feelsnothing :
Hello! I read a few entries and looked at your pictures. Your goregous and so interesting.
from smartchick89 :
Dear laura-diane, Thanks for leaving a message for me in my notes! : D I feel loved! Lol. =p I was just wondering, How old are you? You seem old than me. I'm just wondering. You don't HAVE to tell me if you don't want to. I'm just wondering. Or should I say musing. (I'm trying to expands my vocabulary) Peace out. 8) ~*Smartchick89*~
from for-you-only :
Wow, I don't know how I find your life so interesting, but I really do. I read your five latest enteries and your conversation with ..."him" or "gabe" I think. I'm not quite sure what that was all about, but I can see, plainly you didn't care about him as much as he did you, but personally, in your position I would let someone like that clig to me, and hope they do nice stuff for me. Always nice to keep someone on your good side, but it's hard to keep an "ex" on your good side, however I have managed to do so with one of my exs.... I sometimes still think I care about him, but then I compare him to Jeremy and I laugh. I wish every deserving female in the would could have someone as great as Jeremy. No one in my life has ever put my ego up so far with so much sweet truth. I wish that god would bless you with someone like him, you need someone like him. I'm baking him a cake right now, tomorrow is his 18th birthday. It seems like he's all grown up, and yet I see him becoming an adult each day... Sometimes I feel so young next to him. He acts much like you do. Saying things about not deserving things. Everyone deserves another chance, everyone. I don't know all what whent on with you and this guy, but I think you both derserve another chance. But it sounds like niether of you have any interest in geting or giving one... Try a little less wine... Drinking is for parties, not for sleeping. That's what sleeping pills are for! lol. Anyway, I love nine inch nails too. :)
from for-you-only :
I've read three of your enteries so far. I'm 14, and the things you've said make me wonder if I'll think I am beautiful now by the time I'm twentie something. The pic in your profile could use a less big smile, but you are still beautiful. I think what you might need is some sort of club to join to introduce you to more people... I've been EXTREAMLY anti-social until this year, and I'm finding making frinds takes looking for them. Introducing yourself randomly to people who look interesting. Maybe you know all of this, but I'm not done reading yet. -I go by Pink
from raven72d :
Just a note: vur' lovely profile photo! And even if you're working on New Years Eve, I hope the Year Four begins well for you.
from your-carbon :
Hullo! Sorry...sometimes I completely forget that I keep my diary locked. Check your email. =)
from candikurlz :
Hey! I really love your diary just to let you know. I love the way you word things. :) I apologize if mine can be a bit crazy sometimes... just type in Candice as a username and catsrule as the password. Yup... enjoy :) (I hope you'll take to reading it like I took to reading yours)
from raven72d :
I hope your 2004 ('the year Four') begins well... And as maybe the only other D-Land person who knows about Red Star and the Chimes, you're on my list people to whom I wish a (belated) Happy Xmas...
from ghostofgor :
May your holiday season be a reminder to be grateful for what you do have, and not what you have lost. There are people who love you, and see you for who you are. Toss aside the bitterness others have sent, and days will get easier to face. I promise. be well, Miss laura-diane. Ghost
from sxejenny :
I don't know how you can stay sane with all this grief in your life. I just had a friend of mine perish at the hands of a drunk driver this past friday,it sucks hard. Sorry that life has dealt you a card that most people would not like to have. Remain steadfast. Stay strong. I will pray for you. God Bless.
from silverbiker :
i love your diary.. and i'm sorry to hear about the troubles that you are going through..i hope that you find the true path.. take care! i'll keep visiting when i can :) hehe..
from smartchick89 :
Dear laura-diane, Whoa, I just found your diary. It's intense. Maybe I just don't know what intenese is. If you are locking up your diary, can I have your password. Peace out. Smartchick89
from luv2last4eva :
i also just found out about your diary. could i also have a password?
from blueeyes76 :
hello, if you're locking your diary may I have the password ? Hugs and kisses. A.
from jaggedvision :
youre welcome. youre locking your diary? i just discovered it!=(
from ghostofgor :
Bitter is the view from the outside. To see others with ones we want for ourselves, and to feel like someone who is facilitating a cheater, for selfish reasons is indeed hurtful, and regretful. He is allowing it to happen. I cannot respect a man who leads women along, keeping secrets, all for himself. There is no honor, or respect in it. Yes, you most likely love him, but you are being used as much as you feel you are using him. Best regards, dear laura. Ghost
from explicitrvw :
Oh you're so pretty <3<3
from laura-ly :
Thank you for the notes. I'm sorry you have to go through the same thing; and I know you're right, I'm much better off without him. I just feel really dumb for believing everything he told me...for trusting him. But that's life. Take care of yourself. Love ya.
from maverick1018 :
Laura, Laura, Laura... I guess we're both in the same boat of spending cuddling time with people that are involved with someone else... Blah... Life sucks in that regard... If you want to catch a movie on Friday, I'm free... Just an offer...
from jackviolent :
that made me smile one of the most genuine smiles i've had in a long time. thank you laura.
from mindquill :
Thanks so much for the Conan compliment, that made my day!
from jackviolent :
i am. it's always been a goal to be at exactly 130 or slightly lower. not permanently, but just to see if i could do it and hold if if i wanted to.
from jen69 :
i havent looked at your photos in so long. you truly are so beautiful. your layout is somehow self-mocking. as if saying that would be more beautiful than you already are. truly stunning my laura.
from dylanwashere :
Jules lives with me.
from julesspeaks :
My Dad & I aren't speaking to each other.
from leonmcphelps :
Thank you. I am glad I could help.
from maverick1018 :
sup dinkus... I had some major drama over my conversation entry sooooo... I locked the diary.... username and password is both.... Laura
from ghostofgor :
And before I forget, you indeed are an angel. I didnt know anyone would se that little tab. And yes...it helps. *smiles*
from ghostofgor :
given oppertunity, contact Me via yahoo sometime. We can start by tackling two things. vain as they might be. Eating 5 small meals a day, instead of 3 will increase your motabolism, and speed up fat loss. Increasing weight training, will do several things. More muscle means more fat loss. More muscle means leaner body. More muscle means more strength, you will be benching your bodyweight before summer. Cardio 3 to 4 times a week, for 30 to 40 minutes. Walking counts. I will stop rambling now. Someone will love you for who you are, and not for what you think you ought to be. He will embrace your goals, and help you attain them. Life doesnt have to revolve around a bar, but the socializing, feeling part of a group does have its appeal. Its said no one can love us, until we love ourselves, for Me the jury is still out on that theory. Not all men are the same. Its weeding through the many suitors you seem to have. Smothering, is unfortunately a male trait, when we want to be with someone alot. And its also partially jealousy. Not wanting to share such a pretty face. Things like that will take patience, and understanding between two people, and they just dont happen. Everything else.......will come.....hopefully. Ghost
from ghostofgor :
I wont say some of the things I wanted to, not here. Those things, some of which are most certainly attainable, require effort. Family, however is out of your control. Perhaps I can discuss it elsewhere. Be well, laura-diane.
from mindquill :
Hey, thanks for adding me to your favorites. I am looking forward to reading your diary as well. Your description on your profile page demands that it your diary be read.
from julesspeaks :
Parker had some drugs on him.
from me-undaunted :
hey...my username is the same as my diary name without the hyphen. password is kikishelpup. not trying to block out dland people, just nosey inlaws. :o)
from ghostofgor :
you are welcome, and I hope it helped settle your mind some. happy Thanksgiving. Ghost.
from ghostofgor :
miss laura-diane.... I have had relationships with younger women. Some might say too young. Some even lied about their age to be with Me, and the hardest thing is.....letting go of the regret, and guilt. Love doesnt understand age. if someone is that perfect for you, how old each of you are, shouldnt matter. However.....there are instances where the younger, changes their mind about age..... I for one loved her for who she was. So not all men think that way. He should be so fortunate to have such a pretty girl on his arm, whoever he is. Best wishes dear girl. Ghost.
from banshee-rose :
Great site.
from moretoknow :
"it's part of growing up that i never got to enjoy. it's part of becoming an adult that everyone has to do." That may be one of the better written things I've ever read, possibly watch for an homage to it in the diary...
from laura-ly :
Good luck dude! Midterms blow...I'm losing it, too. But hang in there, you'll do fine. Take care.
from velvet-heart :
Whateverrrrrrrrrr.. you are not- besides I thought you said you quit- unless you're just speaking of your prefession- and all of my dumbness just reared its face in all of its "I'm so slow I just got it" glory. Yes yes I am slowwwww..
from velvet-heart :
Thank you for clearing up my dumbness, my dear. It's great to know that you have a deep and beautiful heart. I'm sure your cat honours you more because of it. *wink* Hope to hear more from you. Take care *hugs*
from velvet-heart :
I cant help laughing- I just get a kick out of the names of your cats and how you named them after liquor... I could never be that clever.. would that liquor happen to be your favorite drinks? May I just call yur cats JD and TQ? *snickers*
from raven72d :
The "easy" choice. I know what you mean. I was in BR because I was close to family and their support, because it was easier to do than stay in the East and scramble for a job. I went to grad school and law school here because I could get scholarships and I knew enough people to have some sense of being known and supported. I go to The Chimes because it's easy to be there with friends at the end of the bar rather than have to risk talking to new people (i.e., girls)... The easy choice kills.
from speranza- :
*hearty laugh* OH my lord. You don't know how familiar that sounds, although i was no queen or cheer girl. Everyone *did* put me on their pedastal though, and expect me to always have a shit-eatin' grin on my face. If i wasn't smiling, their world went to tatters, all cause their queen wasn't okay... ("If she's not happy, how can she take care of us? We couldn't *possibly* do that ourselves... *gasp!*" syndrome is what they had) Fortunately for me, i quit school at 15 and went to working full time. But unfortunately, i find that people *still* expect me to be their queen, to lay their life plans out for them, and...what the fuck? Don't get any fucking time to see what i want for myself, let alone simply "be *me*"... *sigh*
from speranza- :
Hey laura-diane. i got your note. Yes, i *was* complimenting you in my profile; let me explain a bit... You look like one of the girls from high school that is just a stuck up, silver-spoon fed, Daddy's girl; a bitch through and through. You appear, in that pic i aforementioned, to be the epitome of all the things i would love to hate about stupid bitches like whom i've just described. But soft! Read some of you, and see that you are *not* merely a bad book to be judged by shitty coverwork. :) You're beautifully intelligent, or from what i know of you so far, and that right there says something. Basically all i meant is to say that i was glad to see there are a few of those "homecoming queens" out there that know there is more to life than hair and nails being done, who's fucking who, and what happened on "Days" today. *smile* Sorry if you thought i was offending you, but no no no, i sure as hell was not!! Accept my apology, if you need it, or...drop me off the face of your earth if it makes you feel better as well. :) Either way, just know i meant what i said in a GOOD way; you are out there to represent alllll the 'homecoming queens' that really aren't so bitchy and materialistic and shit. Go you!! (If you delete this note after you see it, i'll understand, heh...but remember, i am SHOCKED and gladly UNappalled that you're not a stuck up princess-bitch.) And really though, *were* you a homecoming queen? Your note got me wondering. *smile*
from kirtalynn :
I just read your entry about how stressed you are and how much planning you're doing. I hope somehow you can unwind and take the time to relax. I'm guessing you're in college, the way you talk about getting certain things done. I'm only in high school, but I know what it's like to stress out about things. And I'm sorry about James. He must've really impacted your life.... Hope things perk up for ya soon.... (My diary's locked, but if ya ever wanna read it, email me at lilcookiebit@yahoo.com and I'll give you a password.)
from ninjajesus :
wow i really enjpy your diary you rock so verey much "Choose life. choose a job. choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tim openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose leisureweat and matchig luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics, Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday mouning. Choose sitting on theat couch watching mind numbing spirit crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into you mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing mor that an embarrasment to the selfich, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. choose your future. choose life. sorry for the long quote but without it my note would have been short in comparison to the one below
from speranza- :
Hmmm...Well i don't know whether to be the cynical bitch side of me, or to be the emphatic sweet part of me. Though i'm not ever really "sweet" i don't think... i happened upon your diary from somewhere or another... And started reading back. It sounds like you lose a lot of people in your life; laura, tim, james... That must really suck. i just wanted to say not to dwell. Seven years is a long long time, and you write nothing about how you felt, or how your day went, only that you miss him and remember him. It's okay to write other things on "his" day you know? He'd probably have liked it if you would, considering if he were still alive, he would probably *be* reading it. You know? i might sound like a bitch, or like i don't care, and i'm sorry, but... Rather than bitch about the things you don't have (I.E. the ability to get some balls and talk to that roommate of yours about the shit in the apartment you hate living in), work on them and better things for yourself. Look at you. i was real surprised to see you on your picture. You look like one of those 'beautiful people' -- a princess smile, your teeth are nice and white and straight, a cute guy (even if you're no longer with him, the fact that you attract those guys); hell, you were probably nominated for homecoming queen in highschool, and *just* how many games did you cheerlead at? i realize this may be a totally off sterotype, and i'm not trying to say you *are* all those things, only that...look at yourself, what you do have, and use it to your advantage. Think of the people less fortunate than you. Cause just remember, no matter how bad it is for you, there is ALWAYS someone less fortunate out there. And sadly, that thought is often the only thing that gets me out of bed some days. You seem like a good girl. Don't be so niave, and...stay smart.
from laura-ly :
Stumbled across your diary. Great so far...I'll keep reading.
from raven72d :
Roommates... dear God. But how is BRLA for *you*?
from me-undaunted :
i hope your first day of school went well. :o)
from ghostofgor :
Despite the lingering regrets, doubts and unanswered questions, it takes alot to start all over again. We do invest a large portion of ourselves into others. We associate all that we are, into being a "part" of their lives and to have it change, throws off our comfort zones. We get comfortable with the way things are and to start new can be disenheartening, and scary. But time will make things easier. I wouldnt have recommended going to see a new person before finding out who you are without jake first. Your still lingering in your old relationship, so to try and build a new one might be a rebound issue. But time will make it easier, and you will trust again. Just be patient. Best wishes. GOG
from raven72d :
Nothing good ever happens in St. Francisville. It's a universal law.
from jensletters :
I hope you are well. I haven't heard from you in so long. Me.
from lulu-2 :
Wow-do I ever understand. I steal from myself a lot, just so I don't have to sell my plasma.
from krystle-gail :
Hey! I really enjoy reading your diary.. I even went and read most of your past entries.. Well I can really relate to some of your feelings... I have never met anyone else I could relate too!! Oh and I hope work gets better for you :)
from keeds :
you seem like a bowl of fun.. a violent spilled bowl of fun.
from raven72d :
Are you doing more art?
from jen69 :
I hope you are well.
from wrthlss :
Scary!
from jen69 :
Good morning.
from wrthlss :
Do you live around where this Derrick Lee was operating his evil deeds? Are you scared because of location or just scared?
from frk-o-natr :
what can I say? I'm rivited. Your peaks and valleys are the stuff of a writer's dreams, as life's various trials are so conducive to the creative spark that drives the artist in us all. You make me wish my life was less easy, but then it's natural to want what you don't have... Besides, your Jack bears a striking resemblance to my JayGee.
from raven72d :
Enjoy Colorado! Come join me at Frosttop when you get back.
from johnnythm :
That's great, Laura. Save the "nasty ones" for when you get back. It's always better to deliver those in person... Anyway. I hope you trip goes smoothly.
from raven72d :
e-mail me and tell me about diversify.nu sometime...
from raven72d :
I may have to visit. But drop by the Chimes on Saturday afternoons; I'm often there.
from raven72d :
I keep driving by Red Star every day when I leave work. One day I must stop in for a drink.
from d415121295 :
Hey.. I can see where you are coming from with doing all this for him and him giving you nothing.. The guy just called off what we had, and it's hard, but you'll realize what you want and stuff.. Just play his game with him..
from jen69 :
Even if you are nothing to him (although I get the feeling you are he just doesn't know what to say) you are something to me. You're the person that gives me strength and courage and backs me up when I'm right and gives advice when I'm wrong. And so to me, and I'm sure many others, you are most definately something Laura. x x x
from where-i-fall :
*sigh* Though I've not read many of your entries, I can tell you're a very caring, kind, loving, intelligent person and as such, deservered to be treated and rewarded as one. I am truly sorry that this does not seem to be the case with your boyfriend and though it doesn't mean much, here's a *hug*.
from ghostofgor :
I felt My note was relevant, miss laura. I felt compelled to write what I did, with the best of intentions. How often have you asked yourself "why" men do what we do. There is no winning side to the battle of the sexes. Compromise, and sacrifice along with a heaping helping of trust is your only weapons. best of luck dear girl. GOG
from where-i-fall :
Greetings. I quite like reading you. If you'd like to also talk, i'm on MSN. I've added you to it, but I've yet to see you online. I look forward to doing so.
from ghostofgor :
men are silly creatures. When we are feeling awkward, we dont act rationally, and will avoid confrontation. We simply dont like to be controlled, or kept on a leash (for some, not all) This of course usually changes as we mature and age. Try not to put too much on each other. As bad as things might seem, that is how good they can be, when it all works out. Something I tell Myself: "no matter how painful life is, or the pitfalls we find ourselves in, it wont last forever". Time has a way of making all things end, and begin. maybe it would be best to take things a day at a time, when the goals are within easier reach, we tend to be more hopeful. Do try and remember than miss laura-diane. Best wishes. GOG
from diablo666 :
Hello Laura Diane, Hoping this note finds you in fine health... I incidently came across your journal, and couldn't tear myself from your script... Life is weird... it will take you to nadir and then raise you to the 9th cloud... just hang in there... things are bound to improve. Have a good day. A
from raven72d :
Cowboy Junkies... good music for listening...
from raven72d :
They do! The Frosttop has great fries...and great chili dogs, too! I'm not far from there for work... I should go have lunch there soon! I'll have to get a shake there... Thanks for the thought, girl!
from raven72d :
Sorry I missed saying Happy Birthday-- but, belatedly... Happy B-day!
from jen69 :
i'm sorry things have been rough for you lately. i wish i was there to help. moving in with you sounds fun. if only i lived over there.
from hsiutime :
Happy Birthday :)
from me-undaunted :
ick. i'm sorry your birthday didn't go so well. maybe you could have a happy day-after birthday? (((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))))
from elliorange :
Awe... I'm sorry that your night went so bad, but HEY, it's your birthday! You go out and have a fun time today and... just enjoy the rest of your night! Happy Birthday!!
from moonshine76 :
happy birthday! yay!!
from youscareme :
Hey Laura! This is Misty from dland bdays. I just want to wish you a happy birthday. I hope your night is a little more low key than your early morning was. :)
from kathiec :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Have a great day... heck, have a great year!! Love and birthday hugs Kathie
from hsiutime :
I hope you're okay. Is there any way to live somewhere else? The apartment sounds too un-safe :(
from jen69 :
i'm back updating. i lost all energy and words for awhile but i'm trying to get up to speed. i hope all is well. XmwahX
from jen69 :
i hope you're ok. mwah xx
from crosover :
Those people on my layout...Actually, I got the idea for my fiction diary and posted it at both places. That's Vincent Karthesis (I can never spell his last name right.) He plays Connor on ANGEL. I kind of have an obsession with him. Well, not really. Not like I used to. But he's still a great actor. And that's Buffy's little sister (I can't think of her name at the moment). In my fiction diary its an on going saga of Connor & Dawn. Although its very unlikely the 2 characters from Joss Wedon's shows will ever meet, but it would be cool if they did.
from jadeddreams7 :
I'm thinking about unlocking my diary. just warning you ahead of time that I have the same template deally as you. I do like your choice in templates, though! ;) um.. yeah thats about it.
from britneypink :
Hey, I can post you a message. There are so many things on Diaryland I can't do lately. Thought I'd check it out & see if I could post something. I have one friend who's diary has completely disappeared on here. Well, maybe tomorrow will be better.
from britneypink :
Thats Savanah Johanson. You might remember her as the best friend in GHOSTWORLD. She's going to be the GIRL WITH THE PEARL EARRING based on the book by that title which is a historical novel about the famous painting..the girl in that painting. Its really a good book. Thanks for asking.
from jen69 :
thank you. and i'm always here for you too. x
from bryan12603 :
Good luck on the Lenten fast. Don't want to push you, but have you considered going to an AA meeting too? Their number is in the Yellow Pages. You want an "open meeting" or an "open beginner's meeting." Good luck, sweetie. *smiles*
from bannerreview :
You've been reviewed!
from greyst :
My cat's name is Jack too!
from flyinby :
good for you. good luck with your lent fast. better yet if you could make it a lifetime thing. (and yes, i've been there and done that.) good luck and take care!
from raven72d :
Great photos-- great kitty.
from sweet-briar :
Read 2/28's entry. I quite agree. When I wake up REALLLY early (which is pretty early for me since I normally wake up at 6am anyway) I sit by my window and just watch the world wake up.
from raven72d :
I did read your older entries... And I wanted to say that I was sorry to hear about your friend the other Laura...
from raven72d :
I'm glad to hear from you again... If ever you see me at Rotolo's or the Chimes (5'10, large dark object, short black hair, intense eyes, almost always in blue buttondown and jeans, talking with other aging ne'er-do-wells about Russian lit and history, drinking black-and-tans)do say hullo... And one day I hope you'll tell me about your ties to diversify.nu and the photos there... (My friend DRL in Houston adores those images; she's collected some, too)
from jen69 :
i'm glad you're happy sometimes too. i don't know what's come over me at the minute. i'm smiling. and i really mean it this time. xx
from bryan12603 :
<I>i don't know why i set out to screw over these boys. payback for the times i've been fucked over? possibly. probably. most probably.</I> No, you just never believe, no matter how much evidence you have, that you are attractive and worthwhile and lovable just as you are. So every new guy is an effort to convince yourself that you are "wantable," but they just get tossed into the bottomless pit of "I'm-worthless" that should have been filled up by parents showing you lots of love, or telling you that you're wonderful. Or maybe it was a hole opened up by someone taking advantage of you when you were really young, violating your trust. Either way, more guys won't help. Here's a hug, though. Sometimes they help a little.
from britneypink :
Hey, I love that SONG. Thanx. I needed that.
from ilovemy240z :
Prozac actually kicks ass. Just give it time, sweety. I usually don't notice I'm feeling better until 2-3 weeks after I've been on it. ;) Hang in there, ok?
from bryan12603 :
<I>"don't drink and all of your problems will straighten out" dr. trask says.</I> That's not quite true. But the problems getting better once the drinking stops. I mean, <B>if</B> you're an alcoholic. If you are, welcome to the club. *smiles knowingly* Sorry I haven't commented in a while. I've been preoccupied with end of the semester stuff. May I give you a hug? *hug*
from raven72d :
I've usually dated younger girls (they're less likely to see me as a failure; they're more likely to enjoy the music I like), but there's a major different in maturity levels with young males...
from raven72d :
I handed in grades yesterday, so I have nothing to do til next semester... I may hang out at the Chimes once in a while... But how young is "too young" for you? I have the same basic problem with girls...
from jen69 :
i think you're a lady. a very sophis one. lol. and you say drunk as if it's a bad thing. no wait you're underage still right? or did i imagine you being american?
from dasich :
ya freaked me out. my interview...is a like a ten page story...that almost doesn't make sense. i'll write about it soon.
from myhappiness :
hey, thanks for checking me out. I think. hope u have a great Thanksgiving.
from hsiutime :
I'm pretty sure Vivian can't legally admit you without your consent - if you don't want to go to the hospital, you don't have to :)
from hsiutime :
Hope you're okay :o Maybe you should go to the doctor's just to make sure... remember to eat something! <- sorry for sounding like a mother!
from johnnythm :
I wish I could talk to you more. You're worrying me lately. I hope things straighten out for you soon.
from thintowin :
Oh honey! I am so sorry! I did not understand what was going on, but now I see we are dealing with similar (although not identical) loss. I'm sorry, ny thoughts are with you.
from ilovemy240z :
Utoh... locked now, I see I'm not the only one that is surprised... may I have the password? Or are you saving it just for certain people? =)
from indigoangel9 :
aaahhh!!!!! you're locked!!!! could i come in? please???? ~indigo
from jen69 :
well thank you again for letting me back in.
from jen69 :
thank you :) how come you've locked it?
from britneypink :
I got the password thingie to work. I figured it out. Can you believe it. Ok. I'll go do some deleting now. Now just don't wake up in a strange place or anything. Once my MOM who was in some kind of lalalalala land ended up at K-Mart and hadn't any idea why she wanted to go there. Well, she's not like that anymore. She used to really get in these autopilot stages and just go the same old road every day and such. So sometimes, its good to break the schedule to rethink things out.
from jen69 :
aarggh. i keep clicking you on my buddy list cause it says you've updated but you've password protected. :( sob. i realise that maybe it has nothing to do with me but if at all possible will you give me the password?
from thintowin :
Thank you. I appreciate it. I was wondering why you locked your diary. Can I have the password? My e-mail is linked on my page. Thanks again. :)
from thintowin :
It was my grandmother, my favorite person in the world. :(
from supernigger :
i deleted your notes because i didn't understand it.. i love notes w/clarity.. i save those.
from elateddream :
Prettyyy design :)
from johnnythm :
That ol' voodoo magic, it.......... aint what it used to be. Sowwy :(
from raven72d :
I'm there to be a friendly listener about life even if I'm not propped at the bar at The Chimes... If you want-- e-mail me: Raven72D@yahoo.com
from enidhere :
Hi, just wanted to drop you a note and tell you I appreciate & admire your writing very much.
from britneypink :
Hey, thanks for the KISS! Keep smiling!
from raven72d :
I've missed hearing from you... Hope you're okay... I'm not at The Chimes or Duvic's or Hunan's often...
from johnnythm :
Yes, you. You're the one that left me an Instant Message as I slept. You just don't remember. :-p
from bryan12603 :
Hi! This is about your Nov. 2 entry, "White Flag." Good for you! Many people are surprised that "giving up" is the first step toward really healing. But those who have been "there and back" know that it is. You're only 19? God, you write like you're in your 30's. You've obviously been through a lot.
from jen69 :
just go to http://www.tag-board.com/ it's completely free. like won't cost you a penny. and you can pick the colours. so YAY. lol
from jen69 :
yay? why are we yaying?
from shegoeson :
Happy Halloween! Hope you get lots of treats.
from johnnythm :
Thanks for the smooch, though a big hug, or a back rub would probably do me better.
from devallyk :
Why thank you. You're most kind.
from hsiutime :
Wish I could help :( I think I understand some of your feelings, but obviously I can't know exactly what you're experiencing.. it sounds like you need to be away from the world for a little while. But I'm glad your kitty is there to comfort you when you get home. Hang in there; I'm thinking about you and wishing you the best!
from jen69 :
i understand so much what you wrote today. i have a habit of putting up walls and get let down on a regular basis by those i let in. the worst thing is that it makes me feel bad about myself because they've treated me like shit but i chose them. so the walls get bigger and less people get in. ever just wanted to scream?
from britneypink :
um..lets see..I guess I just imagine her being YOU. You are strong..really. And well, I think in reality, sarah michelle gellar is kind of boring...yet she plays really strong characters. Like Buffy. And you, to me are a very strong person, from what I read in your diary.
from raven72d :
I finally went by Calandro's and bought Sapporo all on my own...
from britneypink :
thanks for the note. thanks for reading too. glad you had a great weekend. just what does this dress look like?
from bettylou :
Thanks...I'm trying to find a good variety of diaries to read and am picking them at random..so far I've gotten some pretty good ones..
from bryan12603 :
I just read about Kevin. I can't believe how many losses you've had to suffer. And you're right, it's so shocking and painful when someone who seems to have so much to live for kills himself or herself. *hug*
from raven72d :
And how is *your* life here in BRLA? I'm sitting here on Govt. St. being exhausted... What's been up? I plan to be drinking Sapporo at the Chimes vur' soon...
from johnnythm :
You have to understand something, though. I've known her for years. I've known her boyfriend for over a year. I'm good friends with both of them. Nothing good can come of this. I am flattered, but I'm also freaked out, because I'm dreading the end result. I don't want things to get complicated between the three of us. Dunno, maybe(hopefully), I'm just overreacting.
from johnnythm :
*Yawn* Hey. Thanks for helping me pass the time last night as well. It was nice to meet you.
from jen69 :
good luck
from johnnythm :
If Olivia danced, I'm glad I missed it. That would've completly freaked me out. I hope she made enough money..... I'll call her when I get home.
from johnnythm :
Olivia keeps asking me to. I might sometime... dunno.
from bryan12603 :
I'm proud of you for having the courage to say what you wrote in your diary of October 12. It helps to express it; and expressing it often takes courage. I'm also proud of you for going back into therapy to work on your issues. (I've been in therapy myself, and it helped me.) *big hug*
from britneypink :
WOW..thanks for READING. Thanks for the SMILE.
from britneypink :
I can kind of sense the frutstration in your stuff..but hey, I'm glad you at least send it our way so cool.
from tfs-fx :
I just realized its "perception". No wonder I lost my job at the fortune cookie factory.
from tfs-fx :
Winning and losing is only a matter of preception, and preception changes over time. You maybe winning, and you just don't know it yet.
from jackviolent :
i'm still very excited about covering myself with green body paint.
from jen69 :
god bless the blondes. mine's no longer naturally blonde. it was till the age of about 13 but i cut all my hair off and it rebelled and went brown. so right now i look really sexy with my shakira roots. cough. not that it matters. no one important to look at me anyway.
from jen69 :
yeh it's confusing isn't it. i'm a lil baby. i'm only 16 but shush don't tell the bouncers. lol. how bout you? how old are you? are you at uni/college? i get so confused with the american/british systems. lol. doesn't take much. i;m blonde. all jokes accepted.
from hsiutime :
Sounds like you had a full weekend :D Slipping in the mud at 4am must have been fun! Well, doing anything outside at 4am is fun and exciting in my book. I know what you mean about the 'older man' - I always think "how much of a loser and a pervert is he to go after someone still in her teens?" Just assume that all 24-year-old men are sleazy and man-whores and you'll be all set ;)
from raven72d :
The hurricane was a disappointment... Anti-climactic, at least. My own thought is that the winds suddenly fell off because of strange rituals performed by the mysterious inhabitants of Cameron. Human sacrifice may have been involved. And the rituals *would* explain the huge basalt step pyramid temple found on the shores of Lake Calcasieu. At least I didn't have to work on Thursday and Friday. Work was cancelled-- which gives me this weekend to create the two exams I'll be giving next week. Law school... I did that at LSU. And I've vowed never to go back into the Law Center. I have no employment value...and no good memories of law school...except maybe my European Union law classes. I had to go vote today, even though I have no idea who's running for what... I'd be at the Chimes if I had the money to buy a beer or three.
from jen69 :
its all right for some. the only time they ever cancelled school here was because it was minus 9 and the whole school heating system had broken down. grrr.....
from stab :
thanks for greeting me :)
from raven72d :
My current goal: find a source for good sake and buy lots of Sapporo and Asahi beer and watch "Iron Chef" this weekend...if the storm doesn't put the power out. BRLA seems short of places that stock a variety of sake brands...
from bryan12603 :
I'm so sorry about Andrya. That was an awful thing to put into your lap.
from raven72d :
I've always been a sucker for the Chimes' "Beers Around the World" thing-- the most expensive t-shirts you'll ever win... My name is up on the little brass plaques something like 13 times... (Perhaps not something I'd like future employers to notice) If ever you see a group of ne'er-do-wells at the left end of the bar, come say hi to the dark'n'brooding one.
from raven72d :
still living in the vicinity... i'm often found at the bar at The Chimes, drinking with other over-educated ne'er-do-wells and talking about odd parts of literature, film, and history...
from bryan12603 :
Does the guy in #7 seem like he would be nice to you? Why not give him a chance to care for you? Dare to hope.
from raven72d :
I found your diary this morning... I was amazed that someone else used "acedie" in your notes...a fine medieval word for despair. And I was no less amazed that you seem to come from the same state (and just maybe city) where I've been most of my life. No wonder you're given to despair... Still-- if you're near BRLA, go to Duvic's or the Chimes. Martinis or imported beers will always help.
from hsiutime :
Did you put in your two-week's notice? If not I'll do it for you :) *gives you cookies*
from bobmcgoogle :
Thank you so much. Its nice to know that there are a few women out there that havent been brainwashed. Down with traditionalism! Burn all the wedding dresses!
from indigoangel9 :
thanks for your note, and yeah, god, the show was GREAT!!! and they did play certain shade of green, but as the last song. i was getting really afraid, thinking they wern't going to play it, and ooohhhh there it was, all for me :) and, by the way, i love your diary and your writing... amazing is the best wat to describe it
from cheerbaby12 :
I started to read your diary because I clicked in on your banner, which may I say is very cool! But I started to read and I realized that we are so much alike. I could have been reading my own diary. The only thing I can say is just to keep your chin up, people out here care about ya, and if you ever need to talk, even if I am a complete and utter stranger, you can talk to me! :)
from bryan12603 :
What you describe in your entry for September 23, 2002 is called "acedia." It's typically translated as "sloth," but that's misleading, because people with acedia are sometimes VERY active. More revealing is the translation "spiritual apathy." It's the state of someone who no longer rejoices sufficiently (or sometimes at all) in genuine goods. The only cure is to find something that really matters, and hold on to it as tight as you can. Yeah, I know. Easier said than done. But sometimes it helps if we can muster the faith to believe that something does matter, and the hope that we will find it.
from xoiluvmeox :
I'm from West Monroe it's in Northeast Louisiana. How about you?
from hsiutime :
Hey, these notes always sound awkward but I really like your diary. I hope you make through the month okay :)
from wrongwayjane :
thanks for the note...just read some random entries and was so very relieved to not find refences to Britney Spears ;)...I will keep reading....thanks again, JANE
from buddhawhoa :
you're entry (9/17) is something i would so write! i love your diary. i hate when people assume you need to be "handled" and like a child of all things. i'm bookmarking you!!
from imbuemyblue :
hi, i'm really happy that you like my diary, it makes me smile. i wish i could update more too, it's just really hard to find the time lately, which is super annoying to me. maybe once i get myself more organised (which is once i get my car). anyway, i really like your diary too, i just starting looking through it today. the way you write feels good, i understand whatever you talk about, i can see what you're going through. if that makes sense. so thanks again and i'm definitely going to keep reading (i'm looking for a profile quote for you right now). stay safe, love, from, jess
from johnnythm :
Your new layout seems to emphasize your mood pretty well. I'm sorry if you've been down lately, I hope you feel better soon.
from thintowin :
I really enjoy yours too... I read almost all of it on Saturday! :)
from daydreamer96 :
Hey! Thanks for leavin me a note. Im from New York. What about you?
from jackviolent :
so um...why won't you wear the shirt if its a cute one?
from siopup :
haha, shin splints. that's terrible. also, new orleans is pretty.
from johnnythm :
I enjoy reading your diary very much.
from stargazrlily :
hi, your diary is neat & I appreciate your note. I hope that everything is good for ya now.
from a-black-rose :
Hey, thank-you for the note, I really like your diary and I feel for you too. drop me an email if you want to talk.
from jonwalsh :
You're a stud yo.
from jackviolent :
"i've had enough...mindless games." that quote. where is it from?
from fiyachick04 :
hi! I liked your diary! I'll continue reading! -- Rachel
from enidhere :
kittens & boys..now thats a combination. Good Luck with Brian.
from jonwalsh :
Cool, now I don't have to be all embarassed about my sad empty notes page. :) Glad you liked my diary, I'll have to check yours out.
from jackviolent :
i'm going to get a cat. i want to name it battlecat. because i'm a he-man fan like that.
from atomic-poppy :
You emailed me? I didn't get it. Send it again?
from morg1686 :
i love you too babe, wow what a compliment...a mini-laura...how nice:) im so lucky!! you are THE best, thank you so much for every...lots of love:) adore? nah, too much exaggeration:)
from jackviolent :
its very likely i'll come back and read again. i'm already all caught up. you run a lot. i run very little. my diary is more of an outlet for whats on my mind. do you mind if i ask how you found me?
from jackviolent :
check it out. we're the first to leave you a note. did you like me diary?

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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