messages to limned:
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from dejour :
isn't it fun when you realize that alcohol is your biggest expense? I've times when I look at my checkbook and I think to myself "why do I have so much money this lovely Monday??" I think and I think and then it dawns on me- if I only went out once on the weekend, my account looks so much better because there's an extra $50 or so in it. And this is why I must limit my booze money.
from immolation :
Mag, where are you and what's going on? If you need to get in touch, please do, okay?
from ruachadonai :
Bravo on getting out.
from candoor :
loneliness, I understand... luckily I have an imagination that allows me to see all the words on the screen as friends who might knock on my door at any moment and drag me out of the lonlies, so I stop by, usually daily, to say hello to my online world and hope someone says hello back :)
from hamiltonian :
BEAUTIFUL JOURNAL
from immolation :
Carefully I say that if you would like to send me beautiful mail I would not only be unadverse but would write back.
from bluperspex :
"tuesday's with morrie" - Mitch Albom... man. that was a good one...
from apathyascend :
Yo, stomach problems are bullshit. I always think about wanting to die on a daily basis. If I were to do it by my own hand, I'd probably do it in a busy public restroom--Full Metal Jacket style, only not in a U.S. Marine Corps bathroom.
from apathyascend :
I just saw the note you had left me. Neurosis is absolutely fantastical. I have nothing witty or of worth to write at the moment; I've just returned from trying to sell myself to the real world and trying hard to make it believable that I'm ambitious - job interviews. Ugh. I will stay tuned. And by the way, I enjoy your layout and find you rather interesting.
from lionheartbe :
Dear Heart, I knitted you a wubis to keep your neck warm. It's nice to have something for cuddling when things are rough. Love you, Claire
from psyphiber :
Miss Limned I miss limned and I miss you so let's be real again because the rest of it is noise and we have a beautiful signal that I love listening to and night when the sounds take over because there is no sight as cones switch to rods and colors shift to shapes and there you are and we're still holding hands and isn't that a miracle that we even found each other? So let's enjoy that miracle and hold each other softly because in that embrace is a part of me that I've seen so many times and it's you there and we know each other so well that we arn't even two anymore but that's so nice because I wouldn't want it to be anything else with anyone else and it makes me enjoy the time I have alone because we are beautiful. You are beautiful. That's all of it compressed into 3 words or maybe they're I love you or I like you or come here you silly little mammal and touch my nose with your nose because that's a funny thing to do and if the eskimos do it like that, then we could be eskimos because I like doing that with you. Have a little igloo and arctic chickens. :) and corn... alaskan corn. It will be AWESOME. Oh, have I told you that you're smart and it feels good to hang out with other smart people who arn't stuck on the fact that they are smart because they're too busy pushing themselves where them is you and selves are I. So Kiss me one day. And quit kissing other boys. They aren't as cool as me and you know it. >:) --== !!* <3 always ==--
from lindsaybird :
girlie, you were a tremendous help and i in no way hate you. i love you, and i'm serious about that. sorry if i was too boyfriended and made you feel weird, honestly i didn't mean to do that at all. i think maybe i do still think of you as you were a few years ago... a little coarser, a little sharper. you have grown very much in your soul over the recent years, and i don't give you enough credit for that. this is me promising to do better.
from circling :
i love the chanel story (have you tried tiffany's yet, or calvin klein's flagship store? divine. keep walking into the priciest stores with the confidence of a priceless person. then, walk out with your head held up high (and no guilt!), after you're done trying luxury on for a spell. think julia roberts in _pretty woman_. also, check out http://gonyc.about.com/cs/freestuff (or just google "free nyc events." even paupers can live like princesses during nyc summers. enjoy!
from circling :
i know that nyc cityscapes prides themselves on rude awakenings, indifferent persons, ear-splitting music emoting from battered b-boxes that lie atop tiny children's shoulders. give her time, she'll seduce you with unexpected oases of quiet on the IMT (ride off peak hours, 'specially post-morning rush), calm in the midst of a sunday flea market treasure hunt, in central park (again at odd, non-power jogger times), at B&N cafes 'round dinner-time, at local museums who encourage their patrons to linger. this ole granit lady pretends that she nyc doesn't see you, is too busy to notice you. she's sees you. and she.s happy that you're here. let her embrace you, though her cold shoulders imply she doesn't know how. it's all an act, i tell you. nyc's gregariousness and unceasing organization is not a knot, but a blessing. give nyc a chance, and she'll wow you in the end.
from immolation :
I can't wait to send you things at my address.
from lindsaybird :
oh my god. i never thought to call aunt mary jane mari juana. this is my new reason for living. i thought you used to hate her?
from immolation :
I'm a terrible penpal and I'm sorry but I went to an art supply store to buy paper and I did it in German and it's to send you letters on, so send me your Portland address. You can write me c/o FUBIS Office, Frei Universitšt Berlin, Habelschwerdter Allee 34 A, D-14195 Berlin. P.S. I miss you, Maggie.
from lindsaybird :
that boy from here isn't your new penpal, is he?!? because his stupid friend definitely ditched me after two days. :bah:
from slipofagirl :
Don't brazilians ROCK? But HURT? :-) I've gotten one every 4 weeks for the last 8 or so months. I LOVE it when it's freshly done. To me, it's sort of like having nipple piercings or something. You can't tell just by looking at you clothed that it's there, but YOU know it is. It's like a dirty little secret. LOL Take care, sweetie... **HUGS**
from rambling57 :
Hey you should get a notify list so I can join it and know when you update your diary.
from heartanalog :
my words are no state secret. they are security threats though. you're welcome to them. i'll play the part of le roi in le petit prince. explanations are available.
from heartanalog :
i'd consider you kindred at the mention of grindcore, but i know blast beats aren't really a great icebreaker. i'm too tired to read right now. so salutations from the waves of distortion on this coast.
from immolation :
Zoušve been banneriying_ Translation from German keyboard: "You've been bannerizing?" Anyway, I can still check up on you, even from Berlin. I'm tremendously sorry I didn't get a chance to call before I left. I meant to. I really did. Send me your new address (mollie_in_berlin at hotmail dot com--and you don't even want to know how long it took me to find out how to make @) and you will get exciting mail. I mean it. EXCITING.
from candoor :
Fine then, strangers from afar it shall be. So much my for random banner clicking habit.
from japanesegum :
<3<3your a great writer<3<3
from silveringrid :
i'm one of the lucky ones who stumbled upon your diary. beautiful and eloquent. thank you for your words.
from opusshrugged :
i wandered in via banner & it only took a minute before i realized you are one of the rare diarists ... the ones who can actually write & capture attention without much sweat or froufery. i'm adding you to my favorites, if this isn't alright, please let me know & i'll promptly remove you.
from fibrosis :
yes. "I'm don't feel comfortable." I also apologize for my horrid sentence structure and spelling as always.
from fibrosis :
You know, this has degenerated so quickly. I don't understand when it became okay to act like this towards each other. Yea, I'm angry. I was asking us to take things slowly at the beginning, but you made it clear that you knew what you wanted and that you wanted me and monogomy for us. But you didn't feel like that apparently.. Are you to blame for my anger? No. I take responsibility for my emotions. All I'm asking is for you to let me know that you take responsibility for your actions. It seems like everything (note use of sweeping generalization. probably meaning I'm exaggerating) I read or hear from you is either you feeling bad about this and wondering why or you saying that you're not responsible for my bullshit. All I wanted was for you to make me feel like it was okay. I thought it would be okay. But why were you pushing monogomy if it wasn't what you wanted? To make a blurry distinction (at best) I'd like to say that I trust you, but I can't feel like I can trust what you say to me. Even your diary is so disparate from the feelings you express to me directly. I don't know where you want me and it is only adding to the volatility as well as us both being in finals. I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry this happened now. I'm sorry this happened with you and me. I thought that we were... just solid forever. Everything is so fucked now.. I'm not blaming you.. or at least I'm trying not to.. but some other parts of me are looking for an easy answer and to quickly move on with life while hoping my heart will catch up later or something. Yea, Stupidity and Immaturity on my part. And this is the callousness that you have been experiencing from me lately. You asked me if I cry. Of course. But I'm don't feel comfortable with you knowing any of my emotions right now because I feel taken advantage of.. or.. that's not the right phrase either.. I just feel like I don't know where the fuck we are but I don't like it and I'm really fucking scared that we are capable of acting like this towards each other. It really hurts me more than I can express in text. I don't know where we go from here. I want to believe in some form of our team, but I don't know if I can deal with what appears to me to be you ... I hesitate to use the phrase playing games, as that really seems far too vicious.. but maybe that phrase without the intensional creulness that it implies? Sorry, my vocab is shit. We know this. Yay tech school kids. So.. I wish you would hug me and take it back and tell me I'm okay and you're okay and make me know you never really broke our monogomous deal. It really hurts b/c I wasn't sure I wanted it, but I went ahead anyway. Because it was you. Because I decided early on to do crazy things for you without worrying so much that they were crazy because you were that girl who I could do that for... I miss that. I'm sorry for not being able to deal with this without being an angry asshole. That's my default emotion when things go really bad. I could blame my family genes or conditioning or myself (note that's an inclusive OR operation ;) ) Either way I lost it for a while.. and I might still not have control, and when you lost it, everything became exponentially fucked plotted against time. I keep typing "I love you" and deleting it, because I won't blame this bullshit on love. I've never had a love so beautiful with another person than the one I've had with you. This is why I'll sit in my room all day and practice or be a computer nerd and why sitting eating raspberries and people watching with you I find immediatley both fun and frustrating. Because people have always and will always let me down. I'm included in that set... and I'm really to fucking sensitive to keep being disapointed like this. I'm so disapointed in us. We are so much better than this. Can we stop? Please? I just want to have my best friend back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know why you did what you did. I do know that we were different people back then. I also know that I don't like who I've been lately. Not to you. Let's take our space and reorder everything. Let's just be kind? I can't say I forgive you. I can't say I ever will. But I can say that I want to be able to sit and eat raspberries and people watch with the only girl whose ever been... you.
from slipofagirl :
I'm glad you gave yourself a night off. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" and all of that. :-) You can be a model if you want to, girl! I mean, jeez, I'm ugly, and I do it! You're gorgeous! Who wouldn't want to take your picture? And your photo set ideas sound FABULOUS. Go for it!
from gris25 :
Hello, this is Gris from TF. Laura, actually. I've been reading your diary for a while now, so I thought I'd let it be known to the world that I Think You're Coooool. I'm so sorry about the misscarriage...don't know what to say about that except that you seem so full of viatlity, so it's almost like I'm taking it for granted that you'll be fine. Panache you have. Admirable you be. PS: Mollie you scumbag!!!! I mean, hello sweet thang! If you're leaving TF, by Mercifull Sweet Christ take me with you!!!
from slipofagirl :
You are amazing. You are strong and sure of yourself, and intelligent, and you express yourself incredibly well. Kudos to you for realizing that you don't need these type of people in your life. Surround yourself with people who make you feel as awesome as we all know you are...
from immolation :
Michael=EW. Michael+redhead+s&mbonding(/age)=DEATH. I will call on Wednesday, okay? If I call tonight I will have to self-flagellate for hours and then I will not get work done. I AM SO BEHIND.
from fibrosis :
I love you too, kid. ;)
from immolation :
Whoa! Look! She writes!
from slipofagirl :
Good luck!
from immolation :
Callmecallmecallmecallmecallme! I have told the world that you are coming (this means I have at least three people whom you should meet).
from slipofagirl :
I was wondering where you'd disappeared to. Your entry explains it...
from rachel006 :
I found your site from the most recently updated diaries. I like it :)
from slipofagirl :
You sound so much like me... Very passionate always, but when the passion is directed at something(one) it becomes more intense than fire... Some people can't handle that kind of heat...
from egocystic :
hi hi.. i'm translucent on tf. just wanted to say, well... hi hi.
from immolation :
I would call. (Just so you know.)

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