messages to lisasays:
(click here to add new message):

from smallhanded :
Hey, I know it wasn't a big deal to you but congratulations anyway. xo
from acuteapathy :
Can i have your login info?
from raygirl999 :
I love how driven and dedicated you are to growing an awesome business. Good luck!
from raygirl999 :
Thank you!! And I am super glad things are working out with your move and your company! Sometimes good things do happen to those who try really hard :-)
from raygirl999 :
Glad to hear things are going well for you!
from raygirl999 :
Thanks! Going back tot he City has been a dream of mine ever since I left. I finally get to go back.
from raygirl999 :
Seriously! I went to my friends' wedding it it was very religious (I'm not) and quiet and formal and I didn't care because it made them happy. I was there for them. And the reception was dinosaur theme! heehee how awesome si that? They did what they loved and I loved it because I love them. Hahaha does that even make sense?
from raygirl999 :
Uh NO you didn't mention that you were already married congrats!!! Hahaha that was going to be my advice to you, just get hitched and worry about the nonsense later. Seems you've done that. And honestly the wedding should be for you not the guests. Who cares if they don't like it. IT'S NOT FOR THEM!!!! Just enjoy yourself :-)
from raygirl999 :
I hope every thing works out for you guys. I think Seattle is the smart move. You will be happier and less stressed. And you can focus on you and your upcoming wedding and just being successful and happy. Good luck!
from vla :
omg, that story is hilarious! I mean, awful & embarrassing, but the perfect example of the kind of annoying shit that happens to you during wedding planning. I say definitely DO NOT go over there and try it on--that would be *so* awkward. Just politely decline--she will totally understand! Just tell her you're not sure what kind of dress you want yet and that you're going to look later or that you're planning to look in new york or something. She'll understand--for many people the dress is such a specific/important thing. Although mine is now stuffed in the entry closet, with makeup marks on it from the night of, getting trampled by the vacuum cleaner.
from raygirl999 :
Thanks for the note. At least I know it's possible I can still have kids one day. Thanks.
from raygirl999 :
Barbados sounds awesome. Of course it's not all play but I hope y'all are able to relax some. You both deserve it!
from raygirl999 :
I think that idea sounds awesome! Congrats on the new living plan!
from vla :
just read that article! amazing!! and the site looks incredible. so happy that it's doing so well... i think the stress/ break down stuff is to be expected. you have A LOT going on and you're really hard on yourself & expect a lot. I think what your therapist said is right--you have always had to keep it together so much, so it makes sense that at times your system sort of overrides everything & breaks down, forcing you to see your own stress in a way? I don't know what the answer is, other than working on it, which it seems like you're always doing. xox.
from raygirl999 :
*hugs* please feel better! I don't want anything bad to happen to you!
from raygirl999 :
I understand your thoughts about NYC. When I lived there before it was my lates teens and early 20s. It was easy because I had energy and I was a student and had tons of friends. Now I am 30 and planning to go back. But the best of my friends are still there. I plan to be in school again and I feel I've developed skills needed to make this time even more successful. I'm finally ready to make the leap. I do think you will find the place you are meant to be. Seattle actually sounds like a place you'd love or even Portland (another state I know but is it closer to Seattle than SF?). The Northwest is such an awesome part of the country.
from raygirl999 :
Thanks for the note! Reading all the cool things you have going on in your life has been a kind of motivator. I love reading everyone's diaries and seeing how we have all grown over the years. It takes courage to change and grow but we can all do it!
from raygirl999 :
I seriously would run off to Vegas and get married there. Ugh I hate that outside forces are trying to ruin what should be a wonderful day for you and your fiance(e?) (I'm terrible at spelling sorry). Good luck!
from raygirl999 :
Haha sorry I keep leaving notes but CONGRATS!!!
from raygirl999 :
I love NYC! Living there was the best time of my life. I plan to move back next year. If you have the chance to go back do it! I've been to san fran a few times but no place holds my heart like nyc.
from raygirl999 :
I like reading your entries because you seem very sure of what you want in life. Good luck with everything. It's nice to read about intelligent and motivated people working towards their goals.
from omfggwtf :
[email protected] does that work? it should go to my actual address, i don't know! thank you anyway! :) x
from omfggwtf :
thank you for adding (: if only i had a password for yours 'cos i'm nosey ;) x
from newschick :
thanks. we've joked about stuff before (that probably should not be joked about, as eds are kind of serious sometimes), so i kind of never thought she'd take offence. but i guess i can't do anything to change it, as she's unfriended me. :/ oh well. i'm just sorry that i set her off to lock her diary. but i can't control other people so i guess i will just have to live with it. take care xoxo
from newschick :
blah it's totally my fault, i hope she stays / logs back on. i am seriously such an idiot sometimes. i'm sorry.
from killsoft :
skeet skeet
from vla :
I feel you big time on all of this! very similar to where rob and I have been... he did not want to get married just for the health insurance-y aspects of it, but that was a big motivator for me. but it was not the *only* thing, or the main thing either. I struggle with wanting to squirm my way out of this kind of intimacy though because it is not always comfortable. building a family with another person, becoming so close--it challenges everything that is comfortable and safe for me. but it's also really beautiful and worthwhile and awesome. it's both--it's messy. I have to keep reminding myself--and rob keeps reminding me too--that getting married does not mean you take on someone else's marriage. I don't have to start playing out my parent's marriage or my sister's. It's whatever you decide to make it... But I like what you said about looking at your partner like you do your family in the sense that when you fight there IS no exit. The very dark part of me always looks to run when I am in a very bad place, but I actually never do. Or have very slowly/rarely. anananananayway. This whole marriage thing has been very interesting to go through--and VERY interesting to see how people respond when they hear I am getting married. just like strangers even expect you to be overfuckingjoyed like it is the best thing that has ever happened in your entire life and then look at you like you have an alien head growing out of your forehead if you don't vomit joy when discussing wedding details. :/
from vla :
what are his thoughts on marriage? just curious... and for all my 'I don't want to get married' thing, I think I was safe to play out those feelings because my partner wanted to get married, if that makes sense. Because truly a big part of me wants security, wants someone I can depend on like that, you know? and for us, it did take a lot of talking about what was important to both of us in the future to come to an idea of what would work wedding-wise, marriage-wise. I mean, is he anti-marriage across the board?
from vla :
hey! I actually bought the real version of that for Rob for valentine's day. :) And I recognized you on that HOTB post. I'm glad you're reading. I bookmarked your site again. I'm soo excited to get all caught up. I flew threw three pages already. It's so great. And I could use a good dose of this topic in my life. My sex-self has gone far, far away. It's very sad.
from vla :
I know I use to have your website address... But I have a new computer, so I've lost track of it. you should link it, I am curious. very exciting about the book stuff. you're a terrific writer. my fingers are crossed for you.
from vla :
http://mollytics.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/yhmahi.jpg
from vla :
so cool you're in san francisco! you had a big year. :)
from xxholding-on :
hey i saw you were online and i really wanted the vote/review from diaryland members towards an art contest i joined. It's a coach marketing contest and i need as many votes as i can get! I'm already in 13th out of 2700, please help me out! http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?picid=975395_34070543&pid=2767347&scid=452
from fluency :
hi. i'm reading again and would love your password. i had it memorized for so long but can't remember. :( kmallon123 @ hotmail
from vla :
hey! I lost your password and it's driving me crazy! email me? vla_76 @ yahoo.
from smallhanded :
Haven't left you a note in awhile but feel the need. I am really not judging you or this situation one way or another but I have to say I don't understand why you are getting caught up in this. Talking it out with your sister seems to have helped and I really concur. This thing is NOT going to end well and it is really destructive on so many levels (to you as well as to your boss). I know you know all this. It is just that you deserve better and while this is probably very exciting and will make for a great story at some point, it isn't worth where it is going to lead which is nowhere good. (And I'm talking about for you not for him even though, as a wife and mother, it does make me sad for his family.) Take care.
from vla :
I have felt badly about that note since I left it. you've always been really non-judgemental with me, and it's something i appreciate. anyway, I apologize. life is not so black and white and I should certainly know that.
from vla :
man, your life is so crazy lately! also, why do you bother with married guys? hope you don't take offense to that, but... what's the appeal there? I would just assume any guy who is willing to cheat, especially when married is obviously a douchebag anyway and not worth the time...
from vla :
aw, good luck with the move!!
from vla :
I LOVE that you're updating more frequently on here. Always excited to see your name in red. And, of course, I can relate to the 'o fuck I am doing this more again & need *something* to help me out feeling... I think yoga, working out and stuff does help. and, oh man, the ocd part I *totally* get. There is actually some interesting stuff writen about the connection between ocd, anxiety, ADD, etc. and eating disorders. Anyway. The best thing is to just jump back on track and try to not dwell on the fuck up. And to sort of try to see it in context of your life... like, why now? and to skip work! That helps a lot too. :)
from unclassy :
whooo boy, those emails are a snoozer - yours are so cute and pack a punch here and there and youre so right, his are so polite? wtf! Curly girls is amazing...I dont have curly hair (wavy) but they also have ideas for us too and mannnn has it transformed the way I look at my hair :D xo.
from vla :
o girl, you are so cute.
from sosuga :
ty for the info, and I just wanted to say that this drama is hitting home for me pretty hard, last year at the beg of Feb I too went on a trip with a guy and had a similar (sort of) situation. More than anything tho was your friend's take on why he would make such a silly request (because he is trying to gauge how you feel, that type of thing) because my friend also suggested the same thing to me which totally didnt warrant the stupid behavior even if it WAS the case. So I feel you girl, its a bizarre thing to have a guy do that. But I'm glad you were able to make peace - something I wasnt able to do.
from vla :
I need the password! :)
from ronjohn07 :
Hey...I just stumbled across your diary and spent the last hour reading through your entries. You sound like a fascinating, schizophrenic, bicoastal, workaholic. Keep up the good work! :)
from sosuga :
holy CRAP - about that cheating coworker scenario. How did she figure out what he was up to?! for 7 mos he kept up a lie that humongous, WOW. Just wow. Oh yeah , I am a reader - not sure if I ever commented before though :D
from vla :
Thank you so much for that. ... You need to update! I am curious what's going on with E.
from raven72d :
I just discovered you at random--- fascinating entries... I will be reading here, if you don't mind.
from vla :
that was totally a mike email. feel you.
from vla :
gah. GAH. dude. over. it. guess who I am waiting for right now... boys. wtf? drinking wine. feeling annoyed. if it was a girl? she'd be on time. fuck this shit. anyway. feel your pain. although? i know both of us really don't care all that much. hee. and now we are ms friends. ;)
from vla :
boys. jeeeeeesus.
from vla :
hahahha. excuses much? wish we lived in the same city so we could just go out drinking when this shit happened to us, because obviously it would be on the same night(s) anyway... gah. and YES he is ttl better now. and no re-date. like, wtf. the reference to being out was today during my work day (he doesn't working during the day) but STILL. getting the brush. gah. don't want to talk or think about it anymore! NEXT.
from vla :
ok, wtf. it is SO WEIRD how our dating lives are TOTALLY the same. ... ?? so weird!
from vla :
YAY!
from vla :
I knew you would move fast! yay. ;)
from vla :
dude. good plan!
from vla :
word on the dead inside thing.
from vla :
you're gonna be way more than fine. ;)
from vla :
god, seriously. what's UP with the double lives thing? ok, though. where's my british boyfriend??
from vla :
girl, you're gonna rock whatever the fuck you do as long as you're outfitted in versace. :)
from vla :
o! so funny about the dream.
from vla :
email me at [email protected] Sorry I never gave you the password, but I just don't give it to people who are locked, you know?
from vla :
If you ever unlock leave me a note!
from vla :
I tried to email you... it didn't work. what's your email?
from exhaust :
Thank you! I may be back in CA, but I'm not in SF, and that makes me a little sad.
from exhaust :
Aaah! You're in SF! Color me green.
from dirtnerdluv :
i just bought clumsy last week. i liked it. also that sounds like a great plan.
from dirtnerdluv :
damn. you figured out the whole witholding sex secret! who told???
from wrthlss :
Denial and secrecy are big obstacles to recovery. Do away with the denial and you can tackle your problems.
from fluency :
ok. here goes again. first off: we sound so alike, its kinda scary. we've both been mia for about five years, we both get along amazingly with our mothers, we're both over-achievers in school, we're both ready for recovery, etc. listen, i am SURE your mom will be nothing but supportive of you. the more you tell me about her, the more i'm sure of it.since she's dealt with COE before, she'll be able to relate somewhat to your bulimia and understand its use as a coping mechanism and all. especially since you're already taken so many steps towards recovery, she'll be nothing but the final piece of the puzzle that will finally let you HEAL! i don't regret for a second that my mom knows. at least, not yet. moms are amazing. they are just the people we need in our life who know how to comfort us. when we need to call them and cry "i just can't do this!" they will know just what to say to give us the strength to keep fighting. i know it. i know you wish your mom never had to know about this, i wish my mom didnt know this shameful side of me, but its so wonderful to not have to hide anymore. the worst part of bulimia is the secrecy. hiding it from the ones we love the most because its so shameful. but bearing it all alone can destroy you. i know you know deep down how important that your mom knows. write in a letter if you're too scared to tell her face to face or over the phone. i had the 'luck' of not having to tell my mom. she just discovered it. and though its scary because telling her will really be pushing mia out of your life, even though you feel you're losing your 'safety-net' or whatnot, think of how liberating it will be to not have to hang your head over the toilet everyday! i love to think how one day, my belly will be full, and i'll be ok with that. i'm so tired of puking. it's not normal. it's not me. and i'm sure its not you either. we're better than this. and we can beat it. i'm flattered you consider me and my story an inspiration, because you really inspire me too. you've really got your shit together. even in the mess that bulimia creates, you see so clearly. i admire that. if you ever want to vent more, and ask questions, or get some support, please don't hesitate to email me: [email protected] good luck telling your mom! it will be the best thing you ever do for yourself. :) xoxoxo
from fluency :
oh man. i'm so pissed! i just wrote you the longest note and then diaryland ate it. cry! i'm going to make a cup of tea and regroup and rewrite it in a bit. xoxo
from honeill :
Hi. I just started my online diary last week. I was writing you because I noticed that you had jonathan goldstein as one of your favorite authors. He's my boyfriend and lives with me so if you wanted to know any personal details about him, I'd be happy to share some of the volumes of useless stuff I know about him. Or I could ask him any questions you might want answered. Or I don't know, or anything. Just to let you know, if you feel like chatting about Goldstein I'm here. -Heather O'Neill.
from swollenthumb :
You should join The Cruise diaryring, no? Check my rings page...

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