messages to lustykazoo:
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from megmarch :
"Congratulations" doesn't even begin to cover it. :) So so so happy for you.
from megmarch :
I... do not know why, but my old log-in does not work. Have you changed it? Please tell me, because I am ever-so-nosy and I want to reeeead it...
from karmacops :
congratulations poppy. thats great news. i'll scream out loud for you. :)
from abwhite :
Oh. My. God. Your hair is gorgeous! I loved working in a bookstore and not just for the discount, either!
from jmixtape :
You may look tired in your photos,but you are still the most beautiful girl I have ever known.(I know...I have to lay off the cheese,but I am snowed in and that's my excuse)
from karmacops :
oh...some ppl are just clueless ain't they? later that night i had another guy say something that got another reaction... i asked "are you all done here?" he then handed me his plate and said "thanks LUV" with a real 'wanker' emphasis on the LUV...not love but LUV (not that either are appropriate) so i looked at him, shook my head and sternly said "NO...actually my name is ...... NOT 'LUV'" to which his female friends said "good on you - do you hate that too?" i told them that i'd just had it up to 'here' tonight with ppl being condescending. it was a long night :) i just don't understand sometimes... i can accept that ppl are paying for a meal and for the service...but not to be an arsehole. respect to you my friend :)
from abwhite :
Poppy, I wish I could just slap a bandaid over it and make this whole thing all better for you. You have to learn that this is something that happened to you. It is not part of who you are. It doesn't define you or your family. Your mom has to learn that this is not her fault. She didn't know what was happening. She didn't know you were in danger. I hope you are all able to confront this and then move on with life. The thing that did hurt you and your brother does not deserve your pain. He deserves to be alone in his own personal hell.
from karmacops :
you are more than good enough.
from megmarch :
That's hard. But honestly, it's better that the truth is out. My sister went through the same thing, and I always felt guilty for not looking out for her, but remember: you were kids. You can't control everything when you're too young to fight back. Now that your mom knows, maybe you can all put it behind you and forgive yourselves, more than just hiding it away.
from karmacops :
hahaha. i'll drink to that!
from karmacops :
you're too kind :) hope all is well in your world dear lady. x
from karmacops :
your last entry is still resonating in my brain. alas! we are not alone...
from megmarch :
I know exactly how you feel, looking around and wondering who this woman is inside your skin, and where the real one is hiding. Keep searching. Now that you miss her, you will find her again.
from gutterpoet :
sorry you had to lock up. I look forward to when you are "public" again. Hope all is well. gp
from karmacops :
thank you :)
from karmacops :
oh yeah - if i am allowed the password - you can message it to me on myspace if you don't want to spell it out on here. did i say please? PLEASE.
from karmacops :
i wanna keep reading...it helps keep me sane...or at least feel i am not alone being insane at times :P - you KNOW what i'm sayin'.
from megmarch :
doode. You know I want the password. Leave it anywhere, or e-mail it to fishbellygirl at hotmail. Thankee.
from gutterpoet :
Thanks for the note LK. I'm trying to get back in the swing a bit. Loved the pic of your dog a few entries back. Reminded me much of my own Nikki. It's cute when they tear the head off a stuffed animal, but when you see them doing it on a live animal. Yikes. The death toll is mounting in my back yard this summer. gp
from karmacops :
oh swan dive is such a perfect angst song! hope your weekend picks up. hope the cramps ease too - i can empathise there...mine were eeesh this month too.
from karmacops :
here'e to new beginnings :) cheers girl x
from karmacops :
i never knew beck was one of those....hmmm...he is a fab muso though...as for you dear lady - i hope you have a lovely 'rest of the weekend'...some cats in bags have terrible fur balls...i hope all will be well with you.
from karmacops :
haha...i think fish beats cat piss...just!
from icefacade :
oooh beth orton is wonderful! I missed her when she came through here :( fudge. I'm going to see Ween on the 10th. Fun times for all!
from karmacops :
thank you :) may your streams flow in reams once you have your new found 'alone' space. i shall raise my next G & T to you with the knowledge that we both now feel 'not so singular'. i am thinking of buying a tape recorder for the car...for those alone drives with nothing but miles and thoughts...and miles of thoughts... cheers!
from karmacops :
thanks :) i am going to listen to 'startin' to hurt' before going off to work...how i hate working saturday nights..."it's a long way down...but i feel alright..." where would we be without mr. adams eh?
from karmacops :
ryan does that...he makes your mind race...i swear...i mean...'i don't know which is worse, to wake up and see the sun, or be the one that's gone'...apply this to one's self and its a case of 'should i stay or should i go'? should i stay home and get drunk...or go out and stay sober...which is worse...which is better...questions...always bloody questions that require...decisions...scattered, scattered...i reckon do both! go out, interact, laugh, love, whatever...then come home to the beer...and ryan...to present you with more questions and mind racing ideas and ideals...bless him! have a good night whatever u do :)
from karmacops :
oh thank you darlin'! raising my G&T to you as i type :)
from karmacops :
tell me 32 was better than 31 :)
from karmacops :
it will soon be no more...i have decided to clean the kitchen, bedroom, make an effort on my painting, start preparing dinner, shower then...i will look no more...just savour and enjoy... just rewards! perhaps it will help the painting...and hormones..pffftt..
from karmacops :
u know...i don't even know why i just said that... hence ( only emphasising the fact ) that I have ABSOLUTELY n.i! maybe its hormonal...pffftt i thought the next 7 year cycle madness didn't start until 35! bah!
from karmacops :
if u ever decide to do a REALLY big plane trip, you could come to australia...
from karmacops :
in which case i can gladly say 'ditto!' :)
from abwhite :
OMG, did they have insurance? I hope a lot of money is raised for them. Very few things feel as rotten as losing everything. I haven't been very good at keeping in touch with anybody. Persephone keeps me very busy! She's perfect, btw!
from karmacops :
welcome back lovely lady
from karmacops :
where u been girl? hope all is well. merry christmas.
from abwhite :
It's absolutely surreal. Especially considering how close we came to not leaving. A sudden decision on Sunday morning is the only reason we're not dead!
from abwhite :
I miss my silly little bookstore job. Did you say you might be interested in knowing the little nipper's gender? heh heh heh HER name will be Persephone Elizabeth Dorner White :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D: D: D:D:D
from karmacops :
isn't beautiful sorta such a catchy song...gotta love him...he's beautiful sorta...damn straight...am seeing him play the week after next - yay for that. hope all is well. :)
from icefacade :
three cheers for decadence! even when it's just living in ephemeral feeling.
from abwhite :
Hi! yep, I'm all knoced up. Wich is weird since we hadn't used birth control since right before we got married (5 years ago in Oct) and had planned on really trying to get pregnant this summer. Considering, I'd thought it would take a bit more effort!
from bohemianlife :
Glad to see you back and have been listening to "Sweet Illusions" all day! (Oh it's Kristina by the way - irishblueyes, not sure if you've been back since I changed diaries or not!) The new album is perfection!
from abwhite :
Glad to see you're doing so well. I can understand your decision not to go to the festival this year. Individual concerts are so much more personal!
from herdarlinsin :
Hey Poppy :) I found your new diary thru an old link of yours on my guestbook and wanted to swing in and say hello to you. *hugs*
from megmarch :
I did indeed receive the mixes, thank you muchly. :) I am enjoying them immensely, even the songs I already knew, and I'm starting to understand people's obsession with Wilco. (By the way, if the name you put for your return address is not a pseudonym, it is just about the coolest name in the history of ever.)
from abwhite :
I was a nervous wreck. If it wasn't for Poppy Z. Brite (brilliant writer of novels such as Liquor and Prime) I'd have had a full out anxiety attack. People who live in sad, dilapitated apartments should be warned before entering gorgeous modern mansions filled with amazing art and BEAUTIFUL bookshelves!
from dalyrical1 :
thanks for the birthday wishes, my dear. (sorry to get back to you so late. freaking dland hasn't been letting me on for shit. i'm about to defect to lj for good...maybe) but if the offer is still good, i would LOVE for you to make me a mixed cd. how about a nice slow one with nothing but love songs? that way every time i play it with my baby, i can think of you. wait...that sounds bad...but whatever!! i just want you to make me a banging slow cd. i love your taste in music. hell...i just love you, girl!!!
from karmacops :
thank you m'dear. It has certainly been a very interesting start to 31-hood. I must say - despite hitting a car and having to fork out money, I have smiled a lot since last Monday. 30 kind of felt like I was in limbo...let the fun and games begin!
from gutterpoet :
Ms. Kazoo. Thanks for the note. Life Aquatic with Bill Murray right? I will try that. My movie tastes are towards the underbudgeted indie shown on IFC sort of thing. For me the best CD to put me to sleep has always been either the Sugarcubes "Life's too good" or the Gang of Four's "Cheeseburger"/ For what it's worth!
from shattdsoul :
Hoping you have a happy Valentine's Day... sending *hugs* and loving you lots
from candoor :
new job sounds great... is this the time to say break a leg or good luck?... well, whichever doesn't really mean break a leg, ok? :)
from karmacops :
this may sound weird...but even though I sometimes breathe a big sigh for you whilst reading your entries...I actually find them quite inspirational...maybe turning 31 won't be that bad for me! Thanks...and best of wishes with it all.
from karmacops :
Merry Christmas gorgeous girl. May you truly indulge in all the festivities of the season and may 2005 be a wonderful year for you. X
from arc-angel666 :
Hi Ms. Kazoo....hitch up the wagons and head for Colorado! I doubt you'll be sorry. I have lived there, went to school there and visit there every chance I get. I'm going for two weeks in Feburary and again in September. Happy Holidays! Respectfully Michael
from jmixtape :
Well...I thought you were drunk.I should know the difference by now,shouldn't I? And I know I will get a kiss on New Years.I am pretty confident on this one.Oh...and I still know what your present is.I thought I would rub that one in.goober.
from gutterpoet :
greetings LK. Good Eats is my favorite show too. All those stores you see him at in Atlanta are the same ones I go too. I just know I am going to run into him one day. Anyway, hope you are having a grand holiday season so far. gp
from arc-angel666 :
Hello Miss Kazoo: It was really nice to hear from you again...a while back I attempted to contact you but you had closed your doors. I'm glad your back. In went to College in Colorado, its a wonderful place. As for your shirt, Honey you can always take it off. The reason I do things the way I do is because it works for me. Sadness, anger and pain are things we all find unpleasant and a lot of folks avoid them....but never loose them until they are dealt with. I found out rather than ignore a powerful emotion..I try it on (like a shirt). I wear it, I feel every crease, every wrinkle, I know it, learn from it and the really scary stuff fades after awhile, it becomes familiar and looses it power. I understand completely that somethings that become familiar are hard to put away even pain. How many people do you know that stay in lifes, careers and relationships that they dislike because its familiar and they have grown use to it? I know many. For me if I can put on that shirt I can always take it off and put it away. Hey it sounds as if there is a new adventure in your future....New town, new job and a new friend. ADVENTURE: A risky undertaking, a remarkable and exciting experience, with the possibility of Risk and Hazard also the possibility of wealth of spirit, an excited heart and happiness. I have spent most of my life seeking adventure, regardless of risk I feel the rewards out weigh the other possibilities...I dare you to live a full life, I am just teasing....kinda :-) Respectfully Michael
from karmacops :
thank you :) smiles are most welcome & appreciated right now. Still feeling like I've lost a part of me...but...getting there...
from bbreviews :
hey hun, bondagebear here, just wanting to know ifyou are still wanting to do reviews for this site, and if so do you have any to post?
from theas-heart :
you rocks my socks too, lil lady. i adore you madly.
from abwhite :
Oh I can't wait to see it! I hope it was a great trip for you! Things are strange here. Lots of good things and bad things happening.
from irishblueyes :
hi, are going to be locked for good? if so i'd love to have the password if you don't mind...you can email it to me at [email protected]
from megmarch :
ohhh no, you cannot lock us out like this! I enjoy you far too much. Please e-mail or note me back with the password, unless this is a temporary situation, in which case, I can wait.
from abwhite :
You're locked? I'm heartbroken! If I've neglected you, I'm sorry. It's this new job thing. I don't quite have the hang of managing my time now!
from dalyrical1 :
i'm finally back....but there's a new lock....? [email protected] requests a key be sent as soon as possible....
from irishblueyes :
Hey, train rides do rock and I hope you have a wonderful time...sorry about the song stuck in your head, but hey it's a great album for the trip! And I am glad you voted, hoooray for you!
from icefacade :
I don't get to read you as often as I would like to, but ditto on the chicken soup. Hope you're feeling better soon.
from gutterpoet :
Happy Birthday! Your taste in adult libations is excellent. Yeah, I know. It's strange not to be 25 anymore, but I too am enjoying my "golden years". cheers.
from re-ravel :
Happy Birthday! Sounds like you had a blast.
from icefacade :
thank you ma'am :)
from list-alive :
Hello, I've recently opened a new listing site, and I would like to list you!
from arc-angel666 :
Its never easy hearing of the passing of a friend. It makes you think how fragile life is and how quickly it can end. So enjoy it to the fullest.
from karmacops :
I love travel...but have a fear off flying...it seems to get worse everytime too...but thanks to the help of xanax...my flying days have been way more pleasant!!! I get really bad anxiety when I fly...and these little friends have certainly helped me...however, I remember my first plane tri...I was so excited by the fact that it was my first time in the air that I forgot to get anxious... :)
from gutterpoet :
Thanks for the note. And I'm happy to know where I can find you again! cheers gp
from arc-angel666 :
Damn! That beats the holy Hell out of my Sunday Afternoon and Evening! I'm glad to hear you and yours are all okay. When I got out of the military I was angry at the supposed Dude that looked like Moses with the long flowing beard, and when Alayna Kate left this world I stopped believing in the God I was taught to believe in and obey in Catholic School. But after years of reflecting, going over things that have happened to me and others, your Sunday is a good point in what I'm talking about,I believe there is a Power(but not the Moses looking guy)an energy if you will and things happen and I'm glad it happened for you yesterday. I am very happy your okay Ms Kazoo
from theas-heart :
i my goddess hunnie!!! i am so glad everyone and everything is ok!! it is so weird how things work out, huh? i guess you were meant to be there after all...
from arc-angel666 :
So you kinda like Ryan and a little into music? LOL. With your passion for music I might consider getting into that industry. You rock...literality!
from irishblueyes :
I am so, so, so excited for you...and at the same time, so, so, so insanely jealous! I am dealing with a similar ordeal myself...he has come nowhere near me, or he might have when I was in Jersey and couldn't go, he was at ACL festival and Texas is too damn far away, and now he's still not coming anywhere near me. Damn, I'm making myself sad. But please have a wonderous time, and please write us a beautiful review of the show, and if you're feeling particularly gracious - maybe you'll even manage to snap a few pics and post them. Have a wonderful, fantastic, amazing night my dear!!!
from arc-angel666 :
Hello: Yesterday was a tough day for me so I thought I'd come over here and get cheered up..........wrong. Every 9-19th I have a wound open in my heart.....again. Yesterday for the first time in my diary I share with folks here and people were wonderful they sent me sweet emails and notes. Their kindness is a comfort,but there is still abit of pain that is lingering today. I came looking for your sassy outlook on the universe only to find you wounded. Too bad your a million miles away, we could get together and compare scars lol. Our situations are different but the pain is the same, I wish I had something wonderful to say, a spell to cast that would help your heart, but tonight I'm among the walking wounded. I apologize for butting into your life like this, but there is something to be said about being a stranger in these situations. If you find something of value in my words and it helps there is no responsibility on your part after all I'm a stranger. If you find my words empty, being a stranger you are not obligated to comment other than to say What a Maroon! LOL. I do hope you feel better and make the choice that will benefit you the most. Good Night Ms Lustykazoo
from arc-angel666 :
Hello: A friend steered me over here, good stuff. I enjoyed Garden State also. I think I'll hang around if that's cool?
from karmacops :
of coursdeded I cardeded to followdeded...
from karmacops :
:)
from dalyrical1 :
i'm here!! i found you!! i'd follow you anywhere... love the new layout, darlin
from megmarch :
doing a dance of joy... and I'd love to hear about some of the stuff that was previously censored, so let it flow. :)
from mineirinha :
thanks for adding me - good luck with the new diary. Write whatever you want without feeling the need to censor. :)
from irishblueyes :
Love the nice new digs!

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