DiaryLand members area

Hmm...no, it's not any different. I am so glad to hear your news! Try the note again and see if it doesn't work. I've been having internet problems but I read your profile and it seems like you're doing very well, Andy!:) Write me- I want to hear about all your Seattle migration! I am moving in about a month:)

from floodtide :

Hey there. Sorry not to have responded sooner: I am flattered that you offer to let me read your script - I would be happy to. Do you want to e-mail it to me, or do you want to send a hard copy? If the latter, let me know and I'll send an actual address. - gwm, aka ft

from studionique :

thanX! yeah and I am totally feeling the whole overwhelmed thing once again, but what can I do but take it one thing at a time.

from seattle-rain :

And by the way, it's SO nice to hear from you!:)

from seattle-rain :

Haha, I'm weed free!:) Please, e-mail it to me:) [email protected] Thank you:)

from jehsika :

hiya...can I get the passwords and all? You probably sent them but no doubt there are lost in the sea of the inbox. It's [email protected]!

from floodtide :

I'm feeling bad, and please forgive me: Have had the best intentions for days now to thank you for sending the mp3 of your piece - and to tell you how much I liked it - but I keep forgetting to do so. Today I read that you're broke and demoralized and needing attention, and I feel ashamed that I didn't send you this note BEFORE, so that you'd know I really meant to do so and wasn't just being prompted by guilt or pity. The piece really is lovely. At one point as I was listening (I saved it, by the way) I thought, "well, I figured he'd be goot, but not this good." I feel for you about the money and food. I am only eating because of Matt; right now if I weren't married I'd be throwing myself on my parents' mercy and that's only because I'm lucky enough to have them. Saying a prayer for you and sending love.

from floodtide :

Thank you for the generous birthday greetings. I had no idea you were already past the 47 mark. I would love to chat with you! I use g-mail chat, AOL IM, and Yahoo! IM at various times; username/screenname is gwmolnar on all of them. I usually sign in in invisible mode (three "IN"'s in a row there, interesting) so if you don't see my name on that doesn't mean I'm not there - I just have a few students and former students who tend to pounce on my when I come online and expect to monopolize me for a long chat - not something I particularly enjoy (at least not with those particular ones). But let me know what your own screenname is if you like and I'll sign on as "available" and we'll talk! Love, ft

from life-my-way :

Thanks for the nice note! Wishing you all the best (including surviving your success!) in the new year. I believe your time has come.

from floodtide :

So happy for you that you've had this conversation with your daughter - what a lovely and fulfilling way to bring the year to a close. Godspeed.

from fan4 :

I'm not sure if I'd like peas mixed in with my Mac & Cheese.

from fan4 :

I think I may still care way too much about Diaryland notes and guestbook signings.

from glorycloud :

thanks for stopping by-hope you had a good Christmas

from smashthegas :

Hey A, just saw ya were online and wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and I hope things are good. Have a good one. Smash.

from talktogod :

Andy, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! Rejoice in His love!

from floodtide :

Actually, I can relate to it, very much so. Beautifully written and generously shared. "I will not say 'do not weep,'" says Gandalf in Tolkein's book, "for not all tears are evil." These days, I suppose, it's awfully cheesy quoting LOTR, but I often remember that line when I'm experiencing tears such as your own. They are not only tears of love but of healing. Merry Christmas, A.

from floodtide :

Merry Christmas, A. Thinking of you with love and hoping that this week is happy for you.

from minstrelite :

I sympathize more than I empathize, having never been a housewife. (I suppose nowadays they call it a "house spouse" -- but that's a little too P.C. for me.)

from raen :

I was too sleepy to be even that clever. I can't think straight around holidays. Right now, I'm having to keep on my son to clean his room. I just got the dishwasher started (I'm standing up in the kitchen with the laptop on the counter). And the vacuum is already out and plugged in and waiting in the dining room. Another long day.

from raen :

*smacks forehead* OOh, duh! Didn't think of that. :-D

from raen :

How did I give that away? You've got me wondering. Hmm.

from minstrelite :

I shouldn't be so neurotic. Notes are OK. I just don't want to spend the twelve bucks on three months of a SuperGold membership right now. But I probably will.

from minstrelite :

I put the HaloScan commentator back up, being as I chose not to invest in a Gold Membership when it ran out. What say we all comment there instead of here. It makes it easier to get to.

from minstrelite :

I don't know what they call a "California Stop" in Texas, but I often compare smoking pot to the experience of sliding through a stop sign slowly without completely stopping while thinking: "No cop, no stop." You go easy on the brakes that way.

from musicman6724 :

Meh. I'm not sure there's anything wrong with smoking pot. Except for the part about it being illegal. But so is driving over the speed limit and I do that every day. Every now and then I get "convicted" about that and drive 60 and watch everyone blow by me like I'm sitting still. Never smoked anything though. Legal or otherwise.

from raen :

Yep, that's his "KITT." The eBay purchase he said he'd never make. He had once said that he would never buy a vehicle from eBay. And the poor woman he bought it from literally cried letting "KITT" go (that was her name for him, too) . . . and probably because she lost $1000 in the deal! But that was what she got for preferring to wait and see how the bidding went instead of taking a good offer. :-D

from momoironeko :

Thank you so much for the note! I have never been so glad to get a "C" as I was with that class. It really is a tough subject to master. I actually got to jog a bit early this morning as the cat woke me up around 5:30. It is the nicest feeling I have ever experienced while exercising. As for diet, I am trying my best to get fewer enriched foods and focus on things like salads and whole grains. Fish oil is really good not just for the heart, but for boosting metabolism and such. I don't want to jinx it, but it sounds like things are starting to improve for you. This makes me really happy. I will continue praying for you. *hugs*

from raen :

It's not locked anymore. I opened it up.

from raen :

Yes, I definitely got the humor in that! :-D But, no, my notes page is fine on my screen. It might be my resolution on this wide-screened laptop, but the notes page looks normal. No problem.

from raen :

It's 2:55p here, and I JUST noticed the notes on my account. "Raen" was set to receive notifications at an email address I haven't had since before summer! I didn't even realize! That's fixed now. But I have some catching up to do!

from dreamcapture :

I do remember that era. Maybe not specific happenings, but I do remember that time.

from raen :

I wrote too quickly and was too tired when I wrote that. I should have read back over it, brief though it was. What I was attempting to convey was that, sure, I have seen sunsets. Everybody has. But I have not seen or experienced a sunset in the way that you have. If I had, I would most likely kick myself for calling it a random event. On a related note, I'm the one who doesn't communicate my meanings very well. As I write something, I know what I'm meaning, but when I reread it later, I can see how I come across. In written words, I can come across as blunt and unkind, but if I were in the presence of the person, speaking the words, the way I said them would come across better. Maybe not perfectly, but better. I need to work on saying what I mean in the way that I mean it to be taken. It's like I wrote in that email. I realize I lack finesse. That's the best way I know to put it. And I'm sorry for that. I should represent myself better. :-\

from minstrelite :

Maybe you meant: "I have seen the sun set, but I have not seen a sunset." (That is, "sun" and "set" being two words in the first phrase.) But now the articles are inverted. Or does it matter? In any case, I thought I had gotten you the first time, but maybe not.

from raen :

Apparently, I am lacking sleep as well. That should have read, ". . . I have not seen the sunset." :-)

from raen :

I have seen a sunset, but I have seen the sunset. I envy your eye. Sleep now. . . .

from raen :

If you had an online dream journal, I'm sure it would be quite an interesting read. ;-)

from raen :

If you had an online dream journal, I'm sure it would be quite an interesting read. ;-)

from morticon :

I'm sorry you didn't get a very good sleep! I hope you can get some good rest and find a producer for your show. I know in my city there are some theatres that sign people that write shows and produce them, or something to that effect. Perhaps you can find one of those in your area?

from floodtide :

I don't think I read the entry before you revised, and I admit that you have certainly piqued my curiosity. May I ask that you e-mail the text file? I'm not being prurient, just genuinely interested. Am enjoying getting to know you (a little, anyway, as possible online).

from floodtide :

Happy Thanksgiving, A. Love, ft.

from rana-kane :

The old user/pass hasn't worked for these last few times you've locked. Is this an "everyone out" period of time? I'm always interested in what's going on with you (thought I don't often leave notes, I know), but I'll totally understand if no user/pass in on the way.

from joy-in-god :

Are you able to give me the username and password to your online diary, Andy? @--J---

from fightn4life :

Thanks for your congratulations Andy. For the last few days I have been unable to open your diary. Did you change the key? You can send me your pass word and user name to [email protected] If you don't mind me reading about your world. Sandyz

from floodtide :

No, my friend, all your notes have been lovely as well as clear; I simply hadn't had time to respond. I am grateful that you have taken so much time and given such kindness. Headed back down to Florida to spend Thanksgiving with some friends, may or may not have internet access while on the road between now and next weekend. You will remain in my thoughts. Love, ft

from momoironeko :

The newest medication I am on is called Armour Thyroid (90mg). I heard from my herbalist that it was the best choice if one has to take thyroid medication. My thyroid is "underactive" (hypothyroidism).

from floodtide :

I apologize again, too: the more I thought about it, I remembered how freaked out *I* have gotten in the past when someone I know has stumbled upon my diary inadvertently. (Once I hurt very deeply someone I love; she found my diary - before it was locked - and read a savage review I'd written of a show she had directed.) Thank you for being so generous-hearted. May I ask that you delete the note in which I shared my username and password with you? I prefer that it not be visible to anyone. Only about ten or twelve people have access to the diary now, and I'd like to keep it that way. Thanks again.

from rana-kane :

Are you ok, man? You're locked then you're not. Entries disappear. . . .

from dudemanflab :

Thanks for leaving a note, minstrelite. Feedback is always appreciated. You're right, though, that John Taylor's theology is somewhat bogus. You should know that he wrote that almost 300 years ago, justifying the process of colonialism (which precipitated widespread death of indigenous populations as well as the creation of the slave trade). While I don't share your views on the Devil, I agree with you that the logic of his argument is fundamentally flawed. I'd leave feedback on your entries, but unfortunately I have no password. Best wishes.

from raen :

Dude, I just checked out that WooMe site. It's as bad as, or worse, than MySpace! I'm kinda worried, man. I mean, *I* wouldn't sign up for a site like that, and I'm fairly "free" when it comes to the internet. Just watch yourself. You never know what sites like that will turn up. *shivers at the thought*

from saintanne :

I'm glad you found that entry. Sometimes it's hard to find faith in this world. I try to keep faith and find doing so keeps my spirits up. I've been touched by God in so many ways, and try to remind myself of his gifts. I hope you like your new church. Saint Anne is my saint name I choose at my confirmation.

from joy-in-god :

Thanks for acknowledging me! But er, when you quoted "Jesus gave her time to repent..", I think you could've added "Jezebel" in brackets, lest readers think you're refering to me! (gulp)! Could you tweak that a little? @--J--- 11 Nov 2008

from minstrelite :

Neko: I deleted the note. I'll send a copy of the email to the address you gave me.

from joy-in-god :

It seems like you've been through a lot. Some people you mentioned are making things unpleasant for you indeed! Regarding writing to two people, it may be faster if you sent them an email/a call too to follow up? Sometimes one has got to be more initiative with seeking help. I remember that as a child, help came to me before I even needed to ask. But as we grow older & become more independent, others expect us to fend for ourselves. & we also need to be wise in the type of help & the amount of help we need to seek. & hey, Jesus went through more but He continued to pray to His Father! I'd like to have such strong faith in God! @--J--- 10 Nov 2008

from joy-in-god :

I find it easier at times to talk about my innermost problems to church members who I know will support me & pray for me & follow up with me, rather than close Christian friends. I'm not sure what works in your case but I'm happy to know you still recognise God's faithfulness & power. Seek to do His will, for this life, with its fleeting joys & pains, is but temporary! Have you downloaded any of the talks? @--J--- 5 November 2008

from joy-in-god :

Hello Andy, it seems like you've made some tough but righteous decisions where the person's concerned! I, too, am going through "difficult stuff". It's tough because we're Christians, but God is faithful. He won't leave us. If we ask with sincerity, God will give us wisdom, strength, & courage through the Holy Spirit & His Word! Have you spoken to people at church, or other Christians about your problems? God sends such people into our lives to help us & to pray for/with us! I strongly recommend the talks from www.fm1032.com.au/MP3.asp?ChannelID=20 . I've listened to the "Difficult Times" ones & learnt that even in difficult times, God can use us for His glory! A friend recommended them, & now I'm recommending them to you! @--J--- 4 Nov 2008

from illusionless :

Hi Andy. I have a question for you next time you come online. It's nothing important just a question I feel that you can best answer for me. I enjoy our talks and your wisdom on things.

from joy-in-god :

Your latest entry reminded me of a verse I've recently read: "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." (Galatians 6:1) You've done the right thing! ~ 3 November 2008

from joy-in-god :

Hi! I got your note, thanks! I've browsed through your online diary & I see that you're also a fellow Christian with challenges & joys of your own! I'll read some more soon! In the meantime, God bless! @--J--- 30 Oct 2008

from minstrelite :

Got it! Get it, got it, good.

from minstrelite :

I'll have to write to Andrew. I've been trying to delete my previous note ever since forever, and it's still there. Somebody doesn't like me.

from momoironeko :

Under most circumstances I would have chosen another area (like Pittsburgh) for a birthday/anniversary gift. Sadly, J had already started buying items for the trip before I found out.

from illusionless :

sorry I had to cut the chat short.

from illusionless :

I'm sorry I had to cut it short last night Andy. I had to get up at 7:30am which is early for me. I hope you are doing ok. I can't relate to what you are going through, but I am always here to listen and try to offer advice the best I can. I hope you are feeling better today. You're in my prayers. :)

from illusionless :

What an inspiring story your life is. It was very interesting. Thanks for sharing. :)

from theumbrella :

Wow? Haha.

from bindyree :

RE your post that says there are friends who can be closer than blood rellies, you are right. I've often said, quoting my husband, that there are two kinds of family: Family of Chance, which is that biological stuff, and Family of Choice. Sometimes the second kind is the stronger of the two.

from illusionless :

Thank you for your note. I agree with you. I'll pray for you too Andy for things to keep going well for you.

from maliger :

Interesting header image on your diary, it's been a while since I thought to check it out. Hope that they process the papers without the photocopied IDs, but be prepared to send again later or whatever it is you have to do if it turns out they aren't going to be flexible. I'm just worried that this Thursday (which is today since it's after midnight now) I might run into the same prescription problem as last time (they seem to think it's ok to not call the insurance to insist on the brand name prescription that does work and they last time had just given me the generic, which was not working so bad that I felt like I was endangering the people around me. That must not happen again.

from rana-kane :

Yeah, I was up until around 4:15am. Heh . . . my smile was deformed. :-P

from rana-kane :

I figured that's what it was. :-)

from rana-kane :

So, tell me. I've been wondering all this time. Is it the Gold membership that makes people's names go bold on the users lists? I saw that your name is now bold. What's the secret?

from godzgirlz :

Fell fast asleep, early for me How was your evening? Didn't even check my email or Diary...Ugh I long to write more than I have in the past year I just fear the words will slip off my lips onto the pages without a sense of life. Still I keep saying, "I shall write tonite" and then something comes over me and I am mute! Love/Peace ~ME~

from godzgirlz :

Thank You and I did go ahead and take that last entry off... needless to say I do understand who reads these I sometimes don't think anyone reads mine but nonetheless I woke up embarressed in many ways and removed it. Do you mean contact you on here in notes, Thanks I will keep in touch! This has been a draining year...just getting thru it Love/Peace ~ME~

from godzgirlz :

You seem disappointed in me... I apologize I had some wine and mix that with just being lonely and disconnected from the what lately feels like a harsh cold world. Forgiven?? Love/Peace Me

from momoironeko :

I'm sorry I haven't left you notes lately, but I figured you needed your space and didn't want to intrude. I just want to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers always. =^-^=

from fan4 :

The group's nice I guess, but I can't exactly bond with people i only see once a month.

from fan4 :

Please check out the following entry: http://fan4.diaryland.com/080731_40.html

from rana-kane :

No, please. Your time is your time. Read and just take things in as learning from another's experience. I don't want you bothering over these things I'm writing about. These are things that happened over seven years ago that are being re-evaluated because family memebers are finally seeing the nasty things my ex-sister has done in a new light. She's sociopathic, plain and simple. Of course, you can analyze it and comment, but only if that's why you want to do. Just read it for entertainment, if you like, and don't comment if you don't want to. I just don't want you setting any time aside from your schedule for my family drama. Seriously. I hope I'm coming across the way I mean. I'm not telling what not to do, I'm just saying you don't have to. :-) You're time is surely more important than to worry over this situation of mine.

from illusionless :

I agree with the note you sent me. It's just something I've been battling with. Always needing to prove myself among the sighted world proving that I'm just as good as a sighted person is in all aspects of life, because along with mental illness prejudices there are prejudices along with being low vision among lots of other things. We all face it in different ways. I guess it's just a petty side of myself that I need to get over. Thanks for not flaming me about it.

from talktogod :

I just saw your question from the other day. "Peterson" is Eugene Peterson, the man who translated The Message version of the Bible. He also wrote the devotional book that I am going through in my diary, called "The Message:Remix//Solo."

from talktogod :

I like Alison Kraus. She did a duet album with Robert Plant (that made me do a tremendous double-take) that is fabulous! I love it. Check it out sometime, maybe. It's called "Raising Sand."

from oldjake :

Andy, Andy, wherefore art thou?

from illusionless :

"It works a lot better if people see that he's at least making an effort not to sin. Either make that effort, or don't say you're a Christian in the first place." This quote and the paragraphs before it spoke to me like a slap in the face. A good one. It really made me see my sinful behaviour lately and how detrimental it really is to me and to God. It also made me see that my spiritual beliefs need a huge tune up. Thank you for the insight Andy.

from betsyboops :

LOL it's not really a new love, andy. just an old one that's trying to make its way back in my life. how are things with you? i've been slacking on the reading up about you, forgive me.

from illusionless :

Hi Andy. I just wanted to thank you for being there for me on Friday night. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry for bothering you, but it really meant so much to me that you were there to listen. I wish you many blessings.

from comfuzzled :

Hi there! This is a notification to inform you that you have tied with your opponents in the category of "Best Diaryland Diary" and therefore have all won for the category! Please visit the following URL to claim your plaque: http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/9664/minstrelitezu9.gif Congratulations!

from tobehis :

I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or something; I'm not commenting on your entries because you're locked and I don't have your password. So that's why you're not hearing from me.

from theumbrella :

Hey you! Can I have a password?:) I'm back.

from rana-kane :

Of course I do. And a diary isn't worth much if you're not talking the issue that affect you most, whether good or bad. It's good to get it out.

from talktogod :

I have Old Jake on my buddy list. I think I discovered his diary from your comments or something. Don't remember, but I've been reading him for a while. Also, reading all of those detail notes...made me realize how much I miss playing my trombone. Gotta dust that thing off. I've actually been contemplating selling it. Blessings!--Jeff

from talktogod :

You left me a comment a few days ago, and I misread who it was from. So I left a note on "Amy's" diary. How embarrassing!! Forgive me for that mistake! So now, I'll tell YOU that I was humbled by those kind words. That really meant a lot to me. Thank you very much, and, again, forgive me for my goof! God bless you!--Jeff

from judasgirl :

Are you giving out passwords to your diary at all? If so, can I have one?

from rana-kane :

Thank you for that note. It is better being locked. I know I don't leave many messages, but I have been keeping up. You're one of the best writers I've even seen on Diaryland (or anywhere else). It's refreshing to read.

from life-my-way :

"Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists. Therein lies the peace of God." It is deep, it's the intro to A Course in Miracles and, I suppose you could say, the course itself in a nutshell. Now, if we could only remember!

from life-my-way :

What about the library? It's free and even here in Alabama our public libraries have free wifi with desks or carrels, outlets to plug in computers, etc., as well as a reasonable expectation of being left alone. Is there a library in your area?

from comfuzzled :

Congratulations! This is a notification to let you know you've been nominated in the category of "Best Diary: Diaryland" in the 2008 Comfuzzled Awards! The awards will be open to the public on July 29th and will run for two weeks before the votes are calculated. Good luck!

from life-my-way :

Great news--additional income, yahoo!

from minstrelite :

Thanks, Brin. I'll look forward to hearing whatever you have to say, at any time.

from bindyree :

My friend, I wanted to drop you a quick line and let you know I've begun the story read-through. I will not give a deadline as to when I can give feedback on it but I will tell you I'm underway. Thanks for letting me see it. :-)

from minstrelite :

Yeah, you're right. And what's even worse is that then you have people like me, whose ideas about love are so inconsistent that they change from one day to the next. But then, on the positive side, we have God's love, that never changes. If we let Him love us, we're usually OK -- but half the time, I don't even do that.

from cerulean030 :

Love is so incredibly complicated Andy, it's a wonder anyone loves anyone. No two people even have the same definition of love.

from glorycloud :

I read your journal daily-life is hard-the Lord is our strength/wisdom-peace

from momoironeko :

The hardest part in critiquing ourselves is that we tend to be much more harsh on our flaws than others. I'm probably preaching to the choir on this point and need to work on it myself. Anyway, I really hope things keep looking up for you. Sending some prayer your way. =^_^=

from life-my-way :

Thanks for the speedy, thorough and thoughtful response to my difficult question. I'll be hoping your upswing continues progressively upward. Best, K.

from life-my-way :

When you say people are willing to give you money and/or advice but they're not willing to help you--what kind of help do you mean? What would help look like? What could someone do? In addition to being interested in what would help you, I have someone in my life in circumstances similar to yours and I would like to help him as well. Read the most recent entry too; glad you found the fifty and are feeling better!

from cerulean030 :

As true today as when he said it, maybe even more so now!

from minstrelite :

It's a quote from Ronald Reagan.

from cerulean030 :

"America is in fact the last best hope of any nation on earth." So true, Andy, so true!

from cerulean030 :

I think you are probably right, CA is def. more liberal than TX!

from momoironeko :

Ah, thank you for the lovely reply and the add. May I add you to my favorites list? Also, I love when you said "It's funny how sometimes we're afraid of who we are. But there's no hiding from that person, and no running away.". I am hoping to keep that as a motto. Blessings to you.

from cerulean030 :

Thanks for the note! I'm glad I'm not alone in my conservativeness. :) Sometimes it's a lonely spot, as you probably know.

from momoironeko :

I happened across your diary a few weeks ago and am hooked. You write very well. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. Also, there is a site called freegrabber.com which offers a variety of items free of charge and that includes shipping. I wish you well.

from orgami :

maybe believe perhaps not if you wish 1994 i went from working fairly steady to not (mental illness) walked to work starved cold not enough money for winter clothes then dropped to one sixty seven pounds Im six feet tall anyway I remember those very days like yesterday even though they are somewhat distant now and walking when i once was in a city yes with no car it was something else and buses are not cheap either a bike helped but one has too buy one and keep it locked and stored somehow i have one now and its a godsend and i have a packsack which truly helped in moving food bank food and now groceries i once had to eat from dumpsters (just a matter of timing from acceptable good franchises who turn a blind eye when they toss stuff..) the clarity of the mind during those times was amazing no wonder people fast to have visions or search their souls i take meds for the illness sleep anti this and that and its better i sleep too i can well relate to not sleeping i go from high to lows in days notice and had the same financial fruitlessness you encountered i just found people women of course whom i attached myself with viewing myself as a junkyard dog helped to keep order when i could been four years steady now with a good partner shes cool and have had years of therapy and trying meds for right balance and have a bike now bike is so important i feel now anyway your present plight was once my daily reality My wishs are the best for you I read your diary once in a blue moon and you write long passages but they are informative and well thought out some seem off the cuff or from the hip i like those dont give up whatever it is you are looking for it may find you one day i hang on my my days like this many have come and for this I am eternally grateful O

from illusionless :

It's ok. I do this and spend as less time with her as possible. Hell I don't even call or go over at all anymore and I do surround myself. It's just the situations like fathers day where I have to be there. Keep in ming I'm also a very sensitive person, especially around her. I try to expect and it prepare myself for when the time arrises that I do have to see her no-matter what, but nothing works. I've tried everything. From expressing my feelings of how she treats me which she brushes off and demeans, to telling her off, which obviously makes things worse. So yeah, I'm just trying to get over it and putting my focus towards getting a job and returning to school for the long term. Thank you for your advice.

from illusionless :

What do you mean by "tap in more lightly to my step mom" ?? I don't understand what you mean by that. Sorry.

from fan4 :

I'm glad you liked my entry. Thanks for visiting. :)

from rana-kane :

The computer I had back then crashed, was reformatted, and given away. The only thing I can think of to try is Google cache, but I think you tried that already.

from rana-kane :

I just noticed my error below. There should have been a "not" between the "was" and the "a". But you understood. It should have read, "It really threw me off when you said Christianity was not a religion." I hate when I do that. Anyway, I'm glad if that article was enlightening to you in any way. I found it interesting, too. :)

from rana-kane :

The enjoyment of writing it. That's what counts.

from rana-kane :

Read it. Understood it. End of story. *thumbs up*

from rana-kane :

OK. I'll take your word on the religious aspect of things. It really threw me off when you said Christianity was a religion. I was thinking, What else is it if not a religion? I thought it was THE MAIN religion. To me, religion is any organized situation with a relationship to or with a deity. But I'm ignorant of such things. I wasn't brought up with it and I've never researched it. I did find this link a few minutes ago that was a bit interesting: http://home.earthlink.net/~mysticalrose/religion.html "Is Christianity a Religion?" On the friend front. It does seem a good idea to weigh whether or not you should associate with these people any longer. And I'm glad you're not that touchy. I'd be a bad judge of such music. I like dark gothic metal mostly. Most metal in general, really. If they roar, growl, scream . . . yeah. :D And, yes, we all have our quirks. And online journals are a great place to vent. I do it all the time.:)

from life-my-way :

CosmicCrayola and I both were $455, so that may be true. I only counted each transgression once (I'm a capricorn and don't want to be overcharged for past vices). Maybe we all ARE $455 in the hole--I kind of like that.

from life-my-way :

Forgive them, they know not what they do. I also believe (or try to believe) that everyone does the best they can with what they know and that when they know better they do better (us too).

from bindyree :

No, you're too big for my wallet. I'll grant dispensation since I stole the questions in the first place. :-)

from rana-kane :

I've never heard of the hell-as-a-state-of-mind idea. But see, that just goes along with how most of what religion seems to be is fantastical interpretations of things and events. For every different theory, a new branch forms. No one can agree on what's what. OK. Let's say a living person was communicated with by a ghost who had been in the depths. That person would try to explain things in their own way. It must be a separate place, a place of punishment where people burn, and this place must be ruled by something, etc., etc. There were no scientific methods back then. Just faith. Who knows what seed Earth's religions grew from.

from rana-kane :

I keep trying to think of something that will definitively disprove it . . . but I can't!

from illusionless :

I get in those moods sometime too.

from illusionless :

Ok what I meant to say in the first 2 sentences... So what if you went to a Pagan festival? You're still Christian. There that sounds better. Sorry for the mix up. My mind was somewhere else lol! ^^

from illusionless :

So what if you went to a Pagan festival. You're still Christian? What is wrong with participating in another religion/cultures way of celebrating something. That just shows how open minded you are Andy. And kind hearted too. You said yourself that it was a great networking and social opportunity, so why does the religious part of the event matter? You met lots of people and had a good time. That's all that matters.

from talktogod :

The singer-sonwriter night sounds cool. I've always wished I could do something like that.

from rana-kane :

They wrote that it was for security reasons. But I do wonder if they would do it if I explained that I have a terrible phone phobia. Hmm....

from illusionless :

That's cool that there are scriptures on how to pray. Hey, do you think that God can understand us? like say we can't put what we want into words when we pray, but we feel it can he understand our emotions? Can people pray without consciously realizing it? If these can happen then I pray quite requently lol! I just wonder about all the different ways God can hear us and I'm interested in your views on it too. Take care.

from life-my-way :

I'm interested in the instructional scripture (on how to pray)--needing, as I do, all the help... Glad to hear you sounding better. You're in my thoughts and prayers, I see you whole and perfect as you were created.

from illusionless :

I read the entry you gave me. I understand it. You explain it well without letting out anything too personal. I'm so happy you and Echo are on good terms.

from emotionalist :

another question: recently people have been pushing me towards sharing my writing more publicly and i have been rereading what i've written (which is why i worried about you catching up by reading it all--it's kind of awful before two thousand and four) and i've been feeling that it's all so small and personal that there can't possibly be something in it for anyone else. could you explain what you get out of reading what i write? i don't know if that's too strange of a question.

from talktogod :

Man, I know exactly what you mean about the trap. Do I ever...That's a very scary feeling, too, especially when you know it's coming. I've been there...went right ahead and did, too! *doh*

from illusionless :

I try not too either. Maybe it's because I don't talk about it alot? I try to focus on the here and now in my life whatever emotion or situation it may bring. I know people wouldn't know unless I told them.

from minstrelite :

Let me think about that.

from emotionalist :

exactly. is there a way i could make it clearer?

from illusionless :

I COMPLETELY agree about diaryland. It is so homy and cozy here and the community is amazing and polite and super supportive. I've had bad experiences with Blogger, and Livejournal especially when it comes to the nasty people leaving nasty notes and harrassing me and whatnot. It isn't pleasant. I find those blogging sites almost too big and it opens up a recipe for disaster. Where here it's secluded and only a limited number of people are seriously here to write long term. I find this place a smaller and more genuine comunity then the larger and colder ones. That's why I always come back here. That and I find I care about the people I read about here especially the ones I've been reading for years since 2002! It's cool really! I find the templates are better and more vibrant and there is much better selection for this site then anywhere else! And it's simple and easy to use. No fancy smancy featurs like lj just simple easy to use wam-bam-thank-you-mam service! I'm sure you agree with me from the sounds of it. I hope you stay here for a long time. I know I will be. :) P.S. I'm sorry for not being online and around lately. I'm just coming out of a bad living situation and just moved somewhere better where I think I will be able to talk more, but I am also very busy right now contacting all of my resources etc. But don't worry I haven't forgotten about you and I always pop up to see how you are doing still. I hope to be able to chat with you more soon once I am settled here. Sounds like you are doing better though. Take care. You're in my prayers.

from glorycloud :

I do not how to write proper English-I am a street writer-a folk writer-an uneducated bookwork Christian mystic writer-I like to write so I write hoping I am making sense-before I was married I did not have a home either-my father was in the Navy-never knew the guy-all my step-fathers were Navy men-my mother died divorce in a car wreck in 1968 in Los Angeles, Calif.-my wife has provided a home for me-I deserve to be on the streets-well I will close-I also edit what I write but I am never sure if I got it just right-peace

from glorycloud :

I think now all my entries here in Diaryland can be read-I stopped writing here because I did not know if anyone was reading me-now that I have some readers once again I will paste in here what I write each day in LiveJournal and JournalSpace-I read your past entries this afternoon and now know some more about you-your life sounds difficult but the Lord is our strength-peace

from glorycloud :

how many years can you read of my entries here in Diaryland? I mainly write in LiveJournal user name "crookedfingers"-also Journalspace "darkcloud"-I copied off all that I wrote in diaryland-but decided this year 2008 not to print out what I write online-I figure after seven years I am repeating myself-basic themes etc so why print out all that stuff? When you get my age not much New is write or spoken-peace So you are from California? What part of Calif.?

from glorycloud :

I have been writing here since 2001 and I would like to have people read all my entries-how do you get the real old diary entries to appear in the archive site? I noticed you have two archive places-how did you do that? Am I making myself clear?

from glorycloud :

I tend to exaggerate-my wife and I talk all the time-but I do confess there are times when I do not know what to say to her-we have been married 29 years-sometimes when I write I am seeking to be funny but I might come off being serious-peace

from glorycloud :

I added you to my list of favorites-peace

from life-my-way :

Hey, thanks for writing! Of course you may have diary access, for what it's worth, user life and pw onthesly. Nice to meet another hippie!

from tobehis :

Nothing like caffeine to keep you awake, huh? I actually went to Walgreens and bought a Coke after I had my lunch just to help me stay awake at work, even though I wasn't extremely tired. I didn't want to take any chances. LOL.

from emotionalist :

thank you. does that mean you read everything?

from tobehis :

You left it as a private message in my guestbook last time. You can do the same this time. :)

from tobehis :

I can't get into your diary; I'm using the same username and password that you gave me a while back...has it changed? Anyway... you should DEFINITELY go see Prince Caspian (it's AMAZING) and you should read all the books again. It's great to get a refresher on them.

from fan4 :

As do I.

from justmeasiam :

I don't think that kind of insensitivity is exclusively baptist - so many christians blame anything they don't understand on the person whose experiencing it. Where in the bible does it say to do that? I know where it says NOT to do that - but ewww that makes me mad. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I'll say a prayer for you.

from tobehis :

How many kids do you have?

from jehsika :

You did it! Now when you see an sbcglobal.net address from Schaumburg, Il...that's me!

from jehsika :

A couple more things about sitemeter...llnw.net is a spider crawling pages for a new search engine (I was really excited someone in Arizona was reading so much of my stuff...nope) and your own views of your page show up too.

from jehsika :

I think, for many people, both having a mood disorder and homelessness are very scary. They just don't know what to say, how to relate. It's not that nobodies reading. If you go to www.sitemeter.com you can get a free stat meter. They give you an html snippet to copy and even, I think tell you where to put it on your template edit page. You can see mine at the very bottom left hand corner of my page. Then you can see that people ARE reading, even if they don't know what to say.

from tobehis :

what's your disability, if you don't mind me asking?

from tobehis :

Thanks for the info. It's good that there is a place where you can get the help you need.

from betsyboops :

i want, i want, i want!! my email is [email protected]. i hope you're doing fine.

from abetterme33 :

hey minstrelite, i have been off diaryland for a couple months. can i have the username and password to your diary? if you don't want to leave it in a note, my email is [email protected]. thank you!

from fan4 :

Congrats on returning to the Village. :)

from betsyboops :

Hi Andrew! Yes I do want those thingies I need to keep on reading you. I would have asked but I figured that since you locked your diary, obviously you want to keep some people out and that may include me, hovering-lurking-maybe-creepy me. (And aren't I just paranoid that way?)

from tobehis :

OK, so since I'm new to your diary, tell me about the Village, please.

from tobehis :

Whatever you decide to do, just remember that God will never leave you or forsake you and that He has a perfect plan for your life. Read Jeremiah 29:11, it's my favorite verse. Have a great week! 5/13

from tobehis :

Well, it looks as if I've missed you. But thanks for getting the password to me; I've added you to my buddy list, if that's all right. If you'd rather I take you off, just let me know whenever you get internet access again. Take care.

from tobehis :

Thanks for the note. I am glad that you felt free to leave it seeing as how we don't really know each other. Feel free to read my diary any time and leave notes. If you would like to leave the username and password for your diary for me, you can do so in my guestbook, there's an option where you can make it a private entry, and only I can see it. Even though I don't know the details of your problems, I will try to remember to pray for you. -Amy

from fan4 :

When it comes to my dealings with the online world and my parents, things aren't so good with me. Thanks for thinking 'bout me, btw. I noticed you re-added me to your favorites list. I've been so busy with college, I haven't had much time to read diaries. Maybe when I do get more freetime, I'll e-mail you then...

from fan4 :

hiya

from judasgirl :

What's your yahoo user name?

from judasgirl :

I'm concerned about your diary entry. Can you please sign on to AIM or something so I can contact you? My IM is thisbirdhadflown.

from betsyboops :

re: suicide notice please don't, andy. i'm 18 hours away from you by plane. but know that if i could go and find you and stop you, i would.

from minstrelite :

Notes are turned back on now.

from minstrelite :

Hey, I'm not accepting new notes for a while. Feel free to leave a comment on any subject in my comments section. Thanks!

from jehsika :

I think the situation you spoke of sounds exactly like mine. It snuck right up on me and that's why it's so hard to understand. But I have at least found Ed (the reiki) guy again and will be able to have a free reiki treatment. That will be a godsend. She is looking out for me, even if it is painful for me to go alone for a little ways. I'm old enough now to know it's for the best for me.

from hissings :

I just got your email. Thanks! I know that meds can interfere with exercise, or the desire/will to exercise, which is especially cruel because since so many of them cause weight gain, we are advised to develop an exercise plan while taking them, and exercise is just plain good for your health anyway. I am one of those lucky souls whose creativity and artistic expression is not influenced or diminished by meds. Cheers, hissings

from hissings :

Despite my occasional grumbling, even as passionately frustrated as I can get with the meds, I believe, for me, they are helping (for one thing, I'm not hearing voices or having delusions anymore; I'm not totally cut off from reality even if I can be a bit sluggish sometimes). That said, I respect your decision not to be on medication-- that's your decision, your brain. That's all.

from minstrelite :

You know, I have sensed that from my take on your entries. I might be in a similar place myself actually (I'm not sure.) I do know that I've got a lot of stuff to work through. If you ever need an ear, though, I'd like to be available -- it might take a while to get back to you, depending on what's going on.

from jehsika :

that's okay, I think I've had my fill of discussions with anyone lately...I think it really is time to turn inward for awhile and concentrate on my personal journey.

from jehsika :

My spiritual family is Raven Wood Grove of Crystal Lake. We are an ADF Druid grove. www.adf.org We celebrate the wheel of the year. We honor ancient Celtic gods in a modern way (this is an important distinction, the other members want to bring the ancient caste system back to the ritual, which I'm strongly against). I was one of the three founders of this Grove, we're six years old now, it's supposed to be about an unity, all sharing their input and energy. We're all supposed to DISCUSS changes. And except for saying "how'd you like it Jess?" and then saying "oh, I'm sorry," when I explained how upset I was, nobody has discussed a single thing with me.

from godzgirlz :

Hey just letting you know I have this site because I always will but I shut down my Myspace page...I couldn't do both... So keep in touch thru here... Peace

from hissings :

NEW: username: wannabe password: sedated xwordxec

from morticon :

Hi Andy! Has your diary password renewed? I'd like to have the new information if I may. Talk to you soon!

from annanotbob :

Hello - hope things are good with you. If you don't mind me reading I'd love your password, but no worries if not. all the best, Anna xx

from jehsika :

Read the 39 things and believe me, not a one needed any explanation...I grokked the core, many so much like myself. No hurry on any email, time as you like...I do know how that overload feels.

from onelilwitch :

well thank you... its always nice to hear a compliment. i think you were the one who added me on msn earlier...am i mistaken? but if so, chatting on msn would be more convienent since i do not believe i've gotten on to yahoo messenger in over a year. take care.

from onelilwitch :

haha. it did completely piss me off because of his stupidity...but i have to admit too that it is pretty funny. the space is treating me better than i thought it would...him worse though. thanks for the comment and the read! take care.

from jehsika :

an email would be just fine, thanks!

from jeweltones :

Hello Minstrelite, It's good to hear from you. I think the Chinese government is the one that is trying to incite violence. It is fortunate that the Dalai Lama would not choose to act as they would in the same circumstances. Loving kindness does not allow for retaliation in any form. By the way, when I try to read your posts I am receiving a request for a user name and password. I'm not offended if you are blocking access to your writing, but I do enjoy reading what you have observed. Could you let me know if you are comfortable with me reading your work? If so ,could you also explain how I would go about arrving at your "page"? Thanks.

from jehsika :

Dude. Best username/password combo ever. I laughed out loud and then had to explain it to my thirteen year old...who already thinks his mom is a dork, so that's okay then!

from minstrelite :

Well, a good man falls seven times a day, and rises again. I'm going to try and keep that in mind. Time for bed now.

from minstrelite :

I'm trying to keep things simple. That helps.

from miedema2002 :

Please be ok. I got your message.

from minstrelite :

I'm not at home anyway. I'm hanging out at one of the mid-Peninsula libraries, contemplating whether or not to head up to the City. I've still got a bunch of money on my BART ticket. It might help to see my stepdaughter if she's not too busy, as she tends to have a calming influence on me. Otherwise, I feel like I keep doing stupid things that wind up making me paranoid, and what you said about a support group is really key. I don't feel like I have one, or if I do, I don't know who they are.

from bindyree :

I went ahead and added you; my Yahoo is finicky, so don't worry if I re-add you every so often.

from minstrelite :

Brin, I tried to add you on Yahoo chat -- not to be a permanent thing, but it just might make it easier to talk for a morning or two. I don't use the chat server with regularity except to talk with my daughter.

from bindyree :

please fling me an email when you can. I sent something via Diaryland email, and have no idea if you got it.:)

from jehsika :

I can feel your anger...not in a bad way but in a way...that I can totally acknowledge it and understand it at the core. If that makes any sense. I don't know how to help, or if that saying that does help at all, but I can send you energy if you want. I should ask first, I know our philosphies are very different.

from miedema2002 :

Good glad to hear it. Oh and send me an e-mail if you are interested in reading my diary now.

from miedema2002 :

Sorry that note was pretty loaded, but hey it would give you good motivation to go to church along with worship and and seeing the pastor since church seems very important to you. Think of some interests that you have and go from there. You ever hear the rule: If it exists, there are groups of people who like it also. That saying actually refers to porn...(if it exists there's porn about it), but take that aspect out of it and change it to an interest. haha! like maybe books, music, art, sports, tv, I dunno anything! NOT porn don't go down that road please!! Thank you! Just a thought.... K I'm going to eat dinner now. Bye bye.

from miedema2002 :

I'm sorry you are feeling so conflicted about social time vs. privacy vs. giving/recieving messages. I think I am a bit like that too. I enjoy my social time, but I must have some time in a day to call my own and collect my thoughts alone. That is where my room comes in, my room is my haven for that, come in without knocking and face my wrath!! I think what is important here is to balance social life with alone time. There is nothing wrong with both. Do you have even a small quarter of the place or a small nook maybe an attic to call your own and collect your thoughts? I don't think it's anti-social really I would hate to have a roommate talk to me 100% of the time and when I don't want that I shut my door or go for a walk. Have you tried maybe telling him gently that you enjoy his company and socializing, but you need some quiet time too? Maybe arrange some time in the day where you can have quiet? He seems like a friendly reasonable guy from what you write about him. Now onto the Internet. I have a great social life I think and recieve plenty of e-mails some responded too some not. msn is my main method of chat 2nd is the phone. I don't see anything wrong with being on the internet a lot if you manage to talk to lots of people and make an effort to make plans and connect with them in person. Maybe join some social clubs at a recreational centre somewhere or a few different forums outside of the mental health ones. Chat a bit, add e-mails, chat online, get to know each other, request to meet in person, viola! Easier said then done I know! I figure if you talk and get along well online or on the phone for about a month then request to meet them in a public place for a bit and then hang out alone. Doesn't always have to be dates it can be friendly stuff too. I have met plenty of friends online, in person, friends through friends, it's all about networking as you know in the music biz! :) Hmm maybe a book club? What I did was ask random people after class if they wanted to catch a drink at a nearby restaurant and chat maybe suggest that to random people after church? Gather a huge bunch of different people and start up a conversation (avoid the sensitive debate topics) and start a big pool communication. It's really fun! Maybe keep an eye out for some of the single people and then include a few couples? mix and mingle? I'm just throwing out ideas of maybe how you could improve your social life since you feel it needs improving. Sorry for the long ramble. Take it easy. You're in my prayers Andy. Ttyl

from caughtpurity :

It was certainly a wonderful thing to have happen; because of its nature, an even harder thing to document. I always feel words are so very inadequate in times like those. I'm glad that you connected with me there. That's very important. And for that, I thank *you*.

from cybers1ut :

Thanks for the comments, although, I'm not writing so much as journaling. Online journaling has replaces my physical writing. That is probably why my diary seems so candid.

from jeweltones :

Hello Minstrelite, Thank you for being concerned about my welfare. I needed to research a bit before I could respond to you. Other than in the province of Quebec, which still governs under French civil law, Canada draws it's legal practices directly from the British system. Until 1978, when Quebec first experimented with the concept, there was no allowance in our courts for class action suits. Law making privileges here depends on the Canadian Constitution, which delegates rights and responsibilities between the federal and provincial governments. When one level of government is silent on a specific issue, then a plaintiff MAY be allowed to ask for a remedy under a level of government that does have written legislation about the issue. The alternative is to go to Federal Court to ask that a ruling be made with respect to a test case, either under the Constitution or under our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. All prohibitively expensive and time consuming, by the way. It appears - a guess, because that is where my research has been unsuccessful so far - that someone may have been able to get the Federal Court to rule under the Charter of Rights that a citizen can't be refused access to a remedy, such as a class action suit, by virtue of their place of residence - our rights being considered portable, you see. A guess would be that the Federal Court ruled that each province would be allowed to create legislation, by rights vested by our Constitution, with respect to class action suits; with a fallback position that any citizen, where their provincial government opted not to allow such legal action, would then have to plead to the federal body for the right to be included in a class action suit being conducted in another province. I know that has happened to people in my province with respect to a tainted blood scandal where several people received blood transfusions where the product was infected with hepatitis C through negligence in testing practices. It wasn't until sometime after the year 2000 that people from my province were allowed to be included in a specific suit that had been launched by two other provinces. There was a very short window of time, for those affected, to get their name on the list of plaintiffs through lawyers specifically designated for that purpose. I think it was only a year or two ago that the settlement was actually reached. A lot of the plaintiffs had already died by then, sadly enough. At present time, it appears that this province has recently begun allowing a limited type of class action, but I haven't been able to find exactly what the parameters are. I am glad you suggested the idea though, because it is always good to have a backup plan or two up one's sleeve and I may also find an alternative remedy in the process of researching this avenue of action. There are some criminal code options, but one has to prove the landlord intended certain outcomes, which would be very difficult to do. John Grisham wrote a really great novel called "The Street Lawyer" that, although it deals with US laws, does outline some of what would have to occur before a successful trial was feasible. The advice from city hall's development and bylaw staff was that we call the police each time a potential harassing incident occurs. As I did last night. Anyway, probably too much information, but I really am grateful to you for helping me think this problem through.

from godzgirlz :

Thanks Keep in touch..It can only go uphill from here right? Peace Love ~ME~

from godzgirlz :

Hey It's been a while...How are u? I'm just wandering back on here after a horrid year. See ya round...Peace Love ~ME~

from jeweltones :

Hello Minstrelite, My street was a good place to live until a certain landlord started buying up properties on this street - the rest of us are all owners. The value of land and housing in this city is spiraling way out of control, because we are in a province that is similar to Texas - economy based on extracting oil and gas. That landlord has illegally converted his properties so that he rents to several people for each unit causing all sorts of logistical problems like parking to become big problems all on their own. He also seems to choose tenants who appear to be living on the other side of the law most of the time. I've been documenting some of the behaviour in this diary since May 2005 when everything seemed to escalate. Some of the tenants have been very scary indeed. As long-time neighbours, the rest of us have banded together a few times to deal with those tenants. We do talk to each other because one of the landlord's tactics has been to try and isolate and intimidate each of and also to try and cause friction between us so that we don't work together. The comments below the description of last evening's events are about his attempt to turn the street into a commercial or light industrial area on the sly, so the incident might be connected to that as a continued form of intimidation although that would be impossible to prove. Or it may be something else. I don't know.

from amazinfuckup :

Thanks. None of it is a big deal, I take everything in stride. My life is so full I don't have much time to think about it. I enjoyed talking to you too.

from theumbrella :

It is not trouble to pray, and I'm still doing it.

from jehsika :

um...whoa! Where did everything go?

from theumbrella :

I am going to pray for you hardcore. Don't forget you have a Father who loves you so deeply.

from theumbrella :

Of course! Please call me Beth. I understand that completely. Before reading your note I wrote an entry (now deleted) about how hard it is to forget our ex's. And it's crazy! Because you're right- totally unhealthy relationships but it's still hard to let God take care of it. There is a verse that reveals something about God that I really love to think about when I worry about those kinds of things. Ephesians 3:20 says that God is able to do more than we can ever ask or imagine, and I try to let it go and think about that. Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience with me. I really get it.

from jeweltones :

Hello Minstrelite, Your last sentence "True humility is knowing where you stand with god" in your latest post is truly profound. Maybe it should be the title of a song or a play. I think you would be amazed how many people it would resonate with. In the end, we are all seekers of the ineffable, the divine or whatever word one chooses to name the undescribable and infinite.

from jeweltones :

Hello Minstrelite, Thank you for the kind comments about my diary. As you might have noticed, I have fairly strong opinions. Because my diary is my primary reflecting/venting tool/mandala, I normally am pretty blunt about what is going on in my head and heart. I use the humour to poke fun at myself and the odd way that I see the world (according to others), to acknowledge that there are many other ways to interpret "reality" and to soften the sharp edges of my words, in case they wound others unintentionally. Like you I have lived on faith for many years, although more because I was trying to support and raise six sons on my own rather than pursuing a career likes yours. Like you, I have noticed that when one relies on something greater than one's self, things have a surprising way of working out. In all honesty, I have been close to losing all faith the past while. When I read what you had written in your past few entries, it helped me find my way back to trust again. Thank you for that!

from abetterme33 :

the username to get into my diary is: abetterme33 and the password is: cookie. i've been reading your stuff for years now. its funny to think i've been on this site since i was 14, and i'm 21 now. yours was one of the first i remember.

from caughtpurity :

I think the comment I made is slightly ironic, because I, too, have been called an elitist at some point, and am wary of dropping the term lightly. It's true--too often people who are well-read or well-learned in general are criticized for being an elitist, and I think that's a shame in itself, too. I think it's in keeping with truth, and relying on that as a background, that is of the utmost importance. I think that in one form or another, we can dance around eachother and gain little or nothing from anything or nothing the other has said.

from caughtpurity :

I can't help but gravitate towards musicians. And all of you are so destitute. I'm so very sorry that it is like that so very often. But you can write as well as play, so you have that going for you. In the mean time, I enjoy reading your entries. Hope everything works out.

from jehsika :

yeah, I might be ashamed in the mornin' but now I had too much fun watchin movies under the influence to care...>;)

from jehsika :

Double entdres...'kay. I'm too far gone to understand. Oh don't worry 'bout explainin'. Oh, the vodka got a hold on me and I don't worry 'bout nothin'.

from jehsika :

Wandering believers eh, I've never seen them. They'd be a real anachronism. Me having just re-read The Name of the Rose a few months ago. I have no Latin, Umberto Eco fustrates me but is fascinating all the same. oh, but you are sweet to suggest (even in jest) you might rather send me money then give it to said wandering oddities (or used it for yourself, which...and only gently tutting here...you should have...because hey, they chose that life). But even today I was forcefully reminded just how good I really have it. I watched Blood Diamond. I won't belabour the explanation, just say that I'm glad I restrict my whinging to the diary. I feel relatively safe there. Silly isn't it, to feel safe in such a public forum.

from miedema2002 :

Glad I could help. :)

from theumbrella :

Hello! This is Beth from on-a-string and I just got your note! I'm sorry:) I've moved here, and I'm adding you to my buddy list again:) Thanks for reading:)

from miedema2002 :

Also it sounds like she is stuck in the "victim mindset" and is playing the -I'm worse than you, you don't know what I'm going through, you are not an alcoholic- card. I know because I have played that pity me role a lot in the past, so I noticed it right away. In short it just doesn't sound like she's ready to move on and maybe she feels threatened and that you are trying to push her, which isn't a bad thing you are just simply being a good friend. But resistance is always a red flag for -I don't wanna change! you can't make me!- kind of attitude. I would give her some space to sort her life out, but offer her the freedom to come back into your life when she is ready for your support and friendship. Obviously she can't have your friendship as a drunk which is normal many close people of alcoholics leave, but always welcome them back if/when they are willing to change and make the effort. Why not let Beth go with kindness? which is what you did, but maybe let her know how you feel (if you agree with what I have written) if not don't worry about it. These are simply my opinions and thoughts. I wish you luck.

from miedema2002 :

I don't think you were uncompassionate at all! I think you were honest and stated how you feel towards things. It sounds like she is an "alcoholic" and is experienceing chaos in her life with that x-bf and drunken phone calls and stuff. You are telling her what she should be doing and how she can move on and offering your hand for support, but it sounds like she is afraid and not ready to move on from her chaotic place yet. Maybe she is pushing that fear onto you. Maybe she is mad at herself for not feeling strong enough yet... These are only assumptions. Please don't take it as you said something wrong, maybe she is just in a bad place in her life and not ready for a relationship. She says you are trying to fix her... I disagree again she's pushing her fear of overcoming her addictions and chaos onto you by blaming you instead of herself. I'm not saying she is a bad person in anyway! She is just lost and maybe not ready for the help that you are willing to give. That is what I see in your e-mails and conversations. I could be wrong. But I highly doubt it's you... I'm sorry things didn't work out between you two...

from jehsika :

Oh, trust me I'd never, ever really go after a married anybody. It's just not right, on so many levels. It was never a serious contemplation. See, I don't meet any guys except customersI. There just aren't any to be found for me right now, anywhere, and I take that as a sign I should be focused on my own improvement for the present and keeping the pledge I made. I would never date even an unattached customer anyway, there was a partner at my store who did that and the end wasn't pretty. Very soap opera-ish. It was quite a disruption to the daily flow of operations, given that she was a shift manager and her melodrama made the energy chaotic.

from silverluna :

wait, i found it: sometimes change happens unexpectedly, and you have to get used to the new things in your life, or you'll just be stuck in the past...

from silverluna :

I was trying to sent you a message, but the spam stopper wouldn't let me...

from minstrelite :

Sent.

from jehsika :

The script for your musical? Oh, I'd like to very much! Do you still have my e-mail? Send it on over.

from minstrelite :

Oh, and I haven't smoked since New Years Eve of 1992.

from minstrelite :

Right. My bachelorhood seems to be what permits me to have a shot of whiskey at the end of the day, as well as engage in all the other so-called liberties that only result in bachelors retaining their more-or-less pathetic state of bachelorhood. Ah, but I digress. In reality, I am strongly committed not to drink or otherwise indulge, as my most recently entry has suggested. I've just got too much on my plate right now to mess around. I admit it's only been since last Friday since I've had a drink (today being Tuesday) but since I'm not in the addictive mode, it's not hard not to drink. I'll be tempted in the future, tho.

from jehsika :

My kids keep me on the narrow...or I'd be having some vodka myself. They're good for my health, keeping me from smoking (none) and drinking (only once every three or four months) and swearing (um...more than a soccer mom but less than a sailor) as much as if I was all by myself. Oh, I didn't take the sleeve comment as sarcastic...though I wouldn't have minded if it was...Bux doesn't try as hard as it should to reduce waste. Waste of water is the most egregious. Though if the "no sleeve" policy is about waste I would think it's probably money they're worried about, not trees.

from minstrelite :

I admire your doing things like having tea and reading a book at bedtime, or taking a hot bath. I'm more likely to have a shot of whiskey at the end of the day, and sometimes I don't even shower after I go running. But thanks for the affirmation.

from jehsika :

>>>>Something tells me you are a person who takes very good care of herself.>>>> I try, I try...but not so well as I ought to. Not so well as I used to either. I admire your continuing dedication to keep running, to keep exercising, despite your stressful situation.

from miedema2002 :

You have been through a lot in the past month I see. It makes me sad to hear that you have been on the streets again. I hope things pick up for you soon... You're in my prayers.

from cherrygash :

thanks for the insights.

from jehsika :

>smiles< of course your case is more difficult, people know you! Though I appreciate honesty in theory, I do have to admit there is only one or two people in my real life that actually know about this diary, and they both understand me completely. So my "honesty" on the page does me or anyone I mention no real IRL harm. Rather like...talking to strangers at a bar.

from jehsika :

Ah but I put everything down on the printed page, or at least mostly everything. And I like it when others do that too, it's honest. I appreciate honesty. And if something is churning around and bothering you and it feels better purged out onto the screen, well...that's good! >Yah yah!<

from jehsika :

in re: catching up on my blog...I'm always delighted to have a new reader but I know I'm very blunt, hedonistic, sort of crazy, sometimes scary, etc., and if ever there's anything I write that makes you uncomfortable to read, skip it. I won't be in any way offended.

from minstrelite :

Yeah, it is. Seems to involve a lot of deception.

from coppersky :

The spiritual battle is a tricky one.

from minstrelite :

ok i saw it now -- i thought it might have been something i said.

from silverluna :

okay, so i put the entry back up. I found the comment on haloscan and pasted it back on the comments so you won't have to write it again. ^_^

from silverluna :

sorry, i'm just updating my archives. I'll put that entry back up in a bit. sorry about that...

from minstrelite :

Bindy, I left you a comment but am not sure it posted. I submitted the banners long ago, and am not sure why they're still running. The diary was unlocked at that time. I chose to lock it in order to work through some more personal stuff among some pretty close D-Land friends. I wasn't able to stop the running of the banners, of course, but it wasn't as though I purposely submitted some banners to a locked diary. If your question was even serious -- and I cannot tell -- I hope that answers it. James, check your email.

from smashthegas :

hey dude, I havent had an email from you yet for the un/pw... my email is [email protected] would be cool to hear from ya :D

from smashthegas :

Yeah dude ya can hit me up at travis-jamesATblueyonder.co.uk for the un/pw combo.

from howlingwind :

2/13/08 - Well, I don't know you, but for some reason, when I was clicking back and forth from various things in diaryland unrelated to you, I kept getting a message that your diary was locked, which I thought was pretty weird, since I haven't linked to your diary or anything. So I believe in weird coincidences, so I thought, what the hay, I'll leave you a note. :-)

from xt4j :

username/password? please?

from jehsika :

Groovy, username/password would be much appreciated. You can send to [email protected] if you prefer not to leave anything in notes.

from smashthegas :

Okay, you invited me to speak my mind, so that is cool. You got drunk... no problem dude, don't be thinking that is bad. We all do it. I think it does good to cut loose once in a while. Okay, maybe from the point of view of your illness and medication it is not a good idea? I don't know a lot about it, I admit. But no regrets dude, have no regrets. As for the drugs, well fook, as someone who has been in rehab (but who is not a doom mongering fooker) I had a great time on drugs, and also a not so great time. I don't want to see you get into that shit, but if you really have to, get them from as reliable a source as possible, yeah? As for the girl, well fook bro, you are human, yeah? I adore sex, we all have sexual needs. It's natural. You were a little drunk, you got your beer rock on, that's all. You're not a pervert, you're a normal, good dude. Ok, so we are only getting to know each other, but you are my d*land buddy, you won't let me down. The only way to do that would be to betray me in some way, and I got this feeling that you're not that kind of dude. Keep rockin on bro \m/

from smashthegas :

Hey dude can I have yer un/pw cos I see ya locked up?

from jehsika :

excellent template change. So much easier to read. I find in your words a life very similar and yet so very different from mine and that is fascinating to me.

from sadmaroon :

I did enjoy the show. My favorite songs wer "I'm Not That Girl," "Defying Gravity" (I liked that one so much I bought a defying gravity t-shirt, with the "wicked witch's" silhouette on it) and "No Good Deed Gos Unpunished." I enjoyed the second act much better than the first-- I was glad to see some character development in Glinda.

from smashthegas :

Dude, your note made sense to me. Forgive me if I misinterpreted but your entry seemed to be defensive at my suggestion. I did not mean ot offend you, I give you my word. Maybe we are looking at life from oppostie sides of the fence, but know one thing, I would never belittle someones belief in God, or their religion, whatever religion that may be, because I know how important it is to them. I chose to add you to my diary because what I read made sense to me, I found something inside it. I would not choose to add someone to my favourites just to spar with them about religion. My comment was just my personal opinion, see I wake up in the morning and believe in myself and know I am going to do my best to achieve something, and I am the sort of person who would need that self belief, that level of control before I could put the situation in the hands of another being, whether it is a God I cannot see, or another person in my life. I know we are very different types of person, I have some friends who on the face of it are the opposite of me, really, including their religious AND personal beliefs, but I still love and cherish them and would die to protect them, just like my friends who share a lot of my views and likes/dislikes. You're in a difficult position right now, and while I hope so much that your circumstances get better, I will not offer pity, nor do I view you as pathetic. So I understand if having me here, leaving comments on what you write makes you uncomfortable and you would rather I refrain. Seriously, there would be no hard feelings.

from talktogod :

Hey, Andy. I got your note. Tried to leave you a comment, but it wouldn't work. Anyway...I'll be glad to "talk" to you, but it sounds like, from reading your most recent post, that you are on the right track. Hang in there, buddy. God can handle you. No matter what.

from smashthegas :

I understand - having read your notes - your reasons for locking up... I think you can just archive and lock your older entries so people can't get to them, to save you the mammoth task of edits.

from smashthegas :

Dude, don't lock your diary. Don't ever be ashamed of the person you once were. Otherwise you might never be able to look back and be thankful the person you have now become.

from minstrelite :

Danielle, I think my Gold Membership has expired, but I sent you an email.

from xt4j :

Can't leave you comments anymore, so I'm noting you. I want to offer you some sound advice but don't want to seem like I don't sympathize. I have a hard time expressing my general care and concern while offering advice. Hmm. I guess I should keep my thoughts to myself, and just let you know that I'm praying for you and I really do wish you well.

from smashthegas :

6'7" dude, to answer your question, heh. Smash \m/

from sadmaroon :

what's SA? I meant SG, suicide girls, the porn site. Either way, I'm not going to do it-- unless it's in a manic fit or something. ;)

from silverluna :

sorry for the last post. Yes, it's an online community game.

from silverluna :

from whystinger :

Thanks for the note back. It made it much easier to find your diary. I think I may have read a time or two before, but not left messages. I am glad you are going to the Depression Support Group. I am involved in that here where I am. www.NAMI-Savannah.org

from sadmaroon :

i deleted my profile because i don't want my diary to show up in the members' directory... that's why I'm no longer listed under users who have added you as a favorite. just fyi... :) sadmaroon

from sadmaroon :

I'm just astounded that she assumed I was worried because she "doesn't have a dick." it's not that at all. I think she's becoming a very shallow person and all her entries are about fucking-- is that all there is to her now?

from sadmaroon :

top line: evidently bottom line: shrinkingviolet

from sadmaroon :

new password evidently shrinkingviolet

from whystinger :

cool diary, cool banner. I hope I can find my way back to read more... I think I may have stumbled on you before.

from sadmaroon :

just read reaping what i've sown... i can really relate to being depressed, pissing people offline, and getting in email fights. i don't know what to say about God-- S/He's different for everyone... all I know is, praying to Jesus that time really did save my life. Hey, you asked for my two cents... and I did stop believing in Him for awhile after my friend killed himself.

from sadmaroon :

hmm, now YOU'RE all locked up... can I have the envelope, please?

from sadmaroon :

sadmaroon johnlennon

from sadmaroon :

I'm glad you're feeling better.

from in19seconds :

Thank you so much for your note! It means a lot to me that you shared your story with me, as well. I can completely understand everything you shared with me. I had the same problem for months, myself. My dreams were the worst for a very long time, and completely lucid. I think it's our way of dealing with the things we can't deal with consciously. If you ever need to talk or share anything, I am here for you.

from sadmaroon :

You should read my diary. So far it's all about how I want to kill myself. We're such bores, aren't we :) I identify with you.

from sleetmiser :

I should like very much to make a layout for your diary.

from allielujah :

I let myself get into something more complicated than I ever realized. Which is why I'm writing here. And which is why I seem somewhat obsessive. I'm not, really. I just never sit down to type anything anymore except concerning that specific subject. I need to fix it soon, but it's like every time I get it out of my head, something happens that makes it take over my thoughts. It's frustrating and annoying. I would think that things like this would finally stop at a certain age. I'm realizing how naive that thought was; an age doesn't make anything stop. People maturing do. and I'm tired and rambling now. I hate this time of night/early morning. No one is ever up which leaves me leaving random comments to strangers =]

from musicman6724 :

I'll try to give you the clarification that you're asking for. I agree that one who is being drawn does become a "seeker." However, in my usage of the word, "seeker" means one who just randomly starts looking for God. In my belief, that just doesn't happen. Scripture pretty much says that. And the "seeker church" is one that tries to appeal to everyone, trying to make God "attractive" to unbelievers by making him look too much like the world. Pretty much a watered-down gospel, if there is any gospel at all. I believe that there's nothing that any human being can do to make God any more attractive than he already is. After all, he is infinitely beautiful, isn't he?? So our efforts could only detract from that beauty. And you shouldn't worry, my friend. I believe that your soul is firmly planted. Your feet, along with mine, might frequently be in slippery places, but our souls are in the hands of Jesus. And no man can snatch them out of his hands. We are eternally secure!

from minstrelite :

It's highly unlikely that it will.

from wordwhore :

i hope leaving your job works out for you.

from morticon :

Hi! I just wanted to let you know that my diary will occasionally be found locked. This is not a permanent thing, and you are welcome to the password, simply email me at [email protected]. You'll find my reasons for locking my diary once you've unlocked it. Thanks for reading!

from miedema2002 :

yeah, I don't space much in lectures it's mostly just when I'm working on assignments that are boring or that I'm afraid to finish or tasks that I'm afraid to do. I feel so stupid though and I'm scared that everyone else will think I'm stupid too. I hope my teacher will let me do a make-up assignment so I can at least try a get a 60% pass which is the minimum passing grade. Please pray for me. I really do want to finish and go onto university...but with this happening I doubt I will be able too. It feels like my life is over, so I should just quit now.

from miedema2002 :

Thank you. I did the same in 2006. I'm surprised how well it turned out considering I've been sick with the flu since my b-day. It's amazing how many changes one year can bring...

from miedema2002 :

Thanks. I hope things go ok with your daughter.

from miedema2002 :

You might want to go see a doctor about that pain just incase it might be more than just the shoes. Just to be cautious...

from musicman6724 :

Thanks for your nice note. I wish it were 100% true. What you see in Talktogod, is more of my heart's desires than what is actual reality. But at least the desires are there, and our Father promises that he will give those to us.

from minstrelite :

Thanks, Emily!

from miedema2002 :

Congrats on your musical taking off and recieving such good reviews and vibes! :)

from miedema2002 :

Thanks. I like to think so too. I am wondering if homosexuality is actually meant to be same as heterosexuality. Maybe homosexuality is Gods way of keeping the number of humans at a decent number so that there was no over-crowding of the Earth? (I'm talking before all this technology was invented). Do you think that could be a possiblility? Maybe both were meant to co-exist in harmony? I just have a hard time believe that God would not bless and love the LGBT community because God is all about loving everyone, even the unfortunate people, and even people who do wrongs no matter how the severity. It just doesn't make sense to me... Maybe humanity made that up? or interpreted whatever was said in the bible wrong? or maybe it's just humanities fear of the unknown and change merged with religion that people find it hard to handle? What do you think?

from talktogod :

Yeah. I decided to make a diary that was totally devoted to...well, devotions. And you've changed your password, so I can't get into yours anymore. Seems to be happening a lot more..."myownjourney" has locked his, now, too. Thanks for reading...

from morticon :

I'm hopeful, but since it won't let me into the drive so I can get the files out that's why I'm concerned.

from wordwhore :

hm, that is the correct email address, so i don't know why i'd not have gotten it. disturbing. "like unto your myspace" is a splendid turn of phrase.

from wordwhore :

i never got an email, but i realized just a day or so ago that i had 2 different emails on my page. i had updated one of them months ago, but i hadn't realized there was an email listed in another spot, and i've only just changed it in the last 3 days or so. if you clicked the link with my @diaryland address (which no longer exists) that'd be why i didn't get it.

from morticon :

I could use the search but the 200GB drive is hooked up separately on the outside of my computer, and ever since it started acting up, my computer can't detect the drive at all when it's turned on, like the drive's completely turned off. It's strange, I'm hoping that it's a connection problem and all I need is a new adapter, but the chances that's the issue are slim.

from wordwhore :

thanks so much for your words of support. they meant a great deal. since you're locked up, i don't know how you're doing, but i hope you are continuing and will continue to do well.

from morticon :

I have tried to back them up, but unfortunately I cannot access the drive, it won't allow me to come in. I've tried everything to access it, nothing works. That's my fear is that I'll never be able to get back in.

from fightn4life :

You locked up??? Please send me your pass word/user name. [email protected] I was finaly going to catch up on your world. Sandyz

from miedema2002 :

Sorry, I should have put a smiley face there. I was just kidding when I asked that. I sometimes forget that the computer doesn't convey things the way my mind does if that makes sense. Like I was chuckling in my head when I asked that. I hope you are doing ok. I miss chatting with you on msn.

from miedema2002 :

Was I ever not within the bounds of sanity?

from miedema2002 :

I don't know how I came to that conclusion either. It just hit me and I didn't feel so angry about that outcome anymore. I'm trying to figure out what led to this decision and making sure it's not temporary insanity.

from silverluna :

I don't have that one. I have it now. ^_^

from silverluna :

I think your email actually went into my inbox. It had your name on it. I just accidentally deleted it. But when I tried to email you hotmail acct i got a message saying it failed to send. Maybe I got the spelling wrong??

from silverluna :

thank you. I tried to send you an email with the email address I have, but I guess it's wrong...

from silverluna :

can you send me the email again???

from silverluna :

[email protected]

from silverluna :

oh my. your diary's locked. :(

from morticon :

I NEVER use my real name on the internet! ;) That's not using my internet smarts :D

from miedema2002 :

I was and am still a daddys girl. We have always been very close. We show it better when it is just the two of us now because of her. And yes she is an insecure person. Why would she treat me like shit though? If anything it shoots her in the foot because who in their right mind would abuse their husbands daughter if her husband was important too her and no she hasn't had luck with relationships, but who does in this world anymore? It's no excuse!

from miedema2002 :

I wish I was in DBT! I'm not. I learn different things about it from different people that I talk to who are in it. I don't still don't understand why the person would be jealous! I can't seem to comprehend it, I mean he loves her to the max in terms of how much someone could love their wife if that makes sense so why compete with something that is totally different and get in a tizzy over it?? I guess some things I'll never understand...

from miedema2002 :

That is ok. I understand. I'm sorry about all of the bad stuff that has been happening, but it sounds like things have really turned around with the steady job for your friend. Congrats! You'll be back on your feet soon enough I know it. I miss talking to you too.

from ohmegah :

OOh it definatly is, but it's been pushed back a couple of months, due to some money situations. I've been doing just some base shots, soon I'll be collecting all of the data, coming up with one collective theme, and from there it's the shoot, and finally the editing. This is my first big project so it might not be able to get what I want through all the way, but I'll try my best.

from minstrelite :

That's all very interesting. I personally read it as "The dog ate meat," but I'm sure such perceptions are subjective and, of course, there is no right or wrong answer. Good luck with your venture.

from ohmegah :

Thank you for writting me back. I asked the question for two reasons 1)I needed feedback for a photoshoot with the theme OHMEGAH (nothing to do with my diary which is why when i first asked the question I locked my diary) and 2) as a psychological test on diaryland users. The test has to do with perceptional organization, how our mind makes up words from a string of letters that really aren't in any coherent organization. An example-THEDOGATEMEAT- is it the do gate me at? or is it the dog ate meat? Only your mind can tell you what's correct.

from wordwhore :

Yep, I knew you were back, since you popped up on my buddy list (I still read dland, even when I don't update). I even left you a couple of comments. Wishing you much good fortune and blessings with the new job prospect.

from ohmegah :

when you see the name "ohmegah" whats the first thing that comes to your mind?

from miedema2002 :

Hi, long time no chat! I pray everything is ok and is going great! Hope to talk to you soon! :)

from oldjake :

7/23/07; Hey Andy... I haven't been able to get into your blog for a long time now... I pray everything is ok.. Jake

from fightn4life :

It's strange isn't it Andy, people that first become atheist have a better chance of knowing the loving God, where those that have no belief at all seem to have closed doors. You hit the nail on the head; "faith" no matter for what it is a start. Sandyz

from spring-da1sy :

Hi. I clicked on your banner, read and liked what I saw. Mind if I add you?

from barefootruby :

should be able to get there via the Older Entries link. otherwise try barefootruby.diaryland.com/060829_18.html and barefootruby.diaryland.com/060830_1.html

from barefootruby :

yeah, its weird how some places just feel comfortable - but we forget until we go back there. There are places like that in my life too - but I can't remember where!! I know I will know them when I go back there.

from barefootruby :

Just wanted to say how much better you are sounding. oh - and your comments doesn't seem to be working.

from morticon :

Hi Andy, if you're interested in having a commenting system for your diary like the one Diaryland provides (in my opinion, better), the service I use is HaloScan. It's free and HTML customizable and you don't have to download anything. Just thought I'd run that past you :) Hope you're doing well. <3 ~Morticon

from barefootruby :

And, of course, if 'bad' things didn't happen, we wouldn't appreciate the 'good' things so much. (does that make sense?)

from requiel :

Welcome back, I'm so glad the piano bench won. Of course I'll still read. You are one of my favs are you not? Heh. I'm proud of you for praying for those who have wronged you. I'm sorry they did that. It wasn't right or fair. I hope they will one day see that. It's so hard to forgive hurt feelings. It take me a long time to get over my feeling being hurt. I do know that praying for them helps heal you more than anything else. Forgiveness is a quality that many strive for but few accomplish. You are doing great.(hug)

from fightn4life :

I am so glad to see you back to writing here. I need to catch up, been feeling up and down. Getting better every day. Thank God. I do believe in Miracles and you just witnessed one. How awesome. Take care I will back read your journal and catch up on your life, always you friend, Sandyz

from barefootruby :

Some time ago (so long ago I can't remember if I was told or worked out for myself) I learnt the habit of thanking God for 'bad' things - things thst go wrong, etc. I find that when I do that I have to stop and think: "why am I thanking God for this?" And by thinking, I can see some 'good' out of the situation - something I am right to thank God for. ('chinks' (bookmarked off my diary) has an example of this.)

from morticon :

It's pretty hot in my area too! Just today I quickly got myself out of the heat after a long car drive because I was getting a heat headache XO yuck, not fun.

from morticon :

You're definitely not alone! I hold on too tightly also. I still can't let go of things that happened 3 years ago. 3 FRICKING YEARS AGO >: (

from xt4j :

Thanks for the compliment. =) I thought I'd write specifically for my readers for once. ;-)