messages to mymemry:
(click here to add new message):

from camham :
Julie, You are so funny. I thank you for taking the time to write that note. You are right, I know. I didn't give it enough time. I promise that if I am still feeling a bit off by Monday, I will go back on it. I promise. You have nailed me down. I do think I am less of a person on it. I do think I am a failure. I think it labels me as "sick". You know I have worked with the crazies and I hate to think I am taking one of the crazy meds. I know that is ridiculous, but it is how I feel. Thanks again for the note. Camden is a precocious capable little boy and yes, he is just very curious about all the things he can do now. It is like having a 2 year old all over again. Relocking my cabinets, baby proofing my house. He waits till I turn my back to do things. It is infuriating. I just can't spank him, because I know it would make me feel worse. The rest of my day got much better so that was good, but I do promise if things are still feeling a bit off for me I will go back on the Zoloft. I may need to ponder it back and forth some more on my blog so be prepared ;) Heather
from blondeness :
Thanks again for your recent sweet note.:)
from blondeness :
Thanks so much for your kind note, it meant a lot.
from blondeness :
Thanks for your sweet note. It meant a lot. Tonight was better.:)
from camham :
JULIE!!!! So glad to hear you are still reading me. I do miss me some Julie! I did research PUPPS and it doesn't appear to be that. I think the rash is hives and realted to this chest cold that I have had. Weak immune system, etc. Icky just the same. Hope you are well. Now it is your turn to update and let us see those babies!
from blondeness :
Thank you for your bday wishes and for saying that I don't look this old! It meant a lot to me.:)
from camham :
Julie, Thank you for taking your time to write that lengthy note. I truly appreciate that. It means a lot to me that I can still rely on you for sound advice. I have done a lot of soul searching on this one and am really doubting the whole midwife thing. I just feel like in my heart it is not the right decision for me. On the other hand, going back to the doctor's office sounds petrifying, but ah, well... there really isn't any GREAT way to get this baby our, now is there? Anyway, your words of wisdom meant a lot and I am very happy that you got to have a VBAC. Thanks again, you, and get to updating. WE ALL MISS YOU!!! Heather
from camham :
Ok, Jules, I'm ready to hear your thoughts on this whole birth thing. You got lucky with the VBAC on Ava. Fill me on. Tell me what you think and hold nothing back please! Heather. You can email if you want Heathy333@aol.com
from camham :
Julie, You are a riot. I know I'll cave and have to find out when we go for that scan. It would be really hard not to find out. Major self control and I am really bad with surprises! Could they not tell what Ava would be? Maybe that will happent to me and then I won't have the option to know. But, don't worry, once I know you all will know too! Heather
from tequilamonky :
Hey yourself :) I know what you mean about bringing chldren up properly meaning differant things to differant people. In fact how to bring up your children, what to beleive, what is important in life etc. sems to mean something diferant to everyone. That can only be a good thing though I reckon, as if we all believed the same things, we'd all be the same and the World would be a dull place. Give me diversity any day ;) --- Gotta agree with Heather that we'd love to hear more about what's going on with you and those gorgeous kids of yours. Ava's curls really are so beautiful! Just so ringletty and glossy, I bet she gets them from you! Did you look just the same when you were a girl?
from choose-life :
Hello Julie! thanks for visiting, what attracted me the most about him back in '03 was his quiet and mysterious personality, and the fact he was the first asian i had ever fantasized about made him extra special, all my dates were europeans or canadians then. and yes, i am reading up on different religions, i came from a Buddism background but i'm not a very religious person myself, i'd like to open my eyes a bit more from now :)
from camham :
Oh, my dear sweet Julie. What a joy to find your note. You are a blessing in my life as well and even if we have never met in person, I would give you the shirt off my back if you ever were in need. I wish you lived closer also. I think we would make great friends and could enjoy a good cup of tea on a cool breezy day like today. You are right, suffering and sacrifice does take us higher than anything else. Humilty is a great learning tool. As for you, Missy, you need to write more in your blog. We all miss you and need to see what you and those gorgeous babies of yours have been up to. Is Nathan potty trained yet and is Ava still nursing? Talking? Walking? Do you all want one more? Enquiring minds want to know! Heather
from blondeness :
Thanks for the note, nope Bradley has still not made his entrance yet! He keeps either "preparing" to or changing his mind though. I had false labor again last night for a little while.
from camham :
Julie, To be honest I haven't really thought about the logistics of it. Ryan and I went to a counselor once and the guy was really neat and he had his massage license also. I also had an instuctor in one of my massage classes that said she did massage on trauma victims and while she was doing it some wanted to talk about their history. She didn't have a license or anything, but it seemed like an interesting concept. So, I may just try to find a very small office space somewhere and advertise as being licensed in both then see how the cards fall. Also, I am sure there would be some clients that I would counsel who might not be appropriate for a massage and/or vice versa. So...only time will tell! Heather
from camham :
Awww...thank you for the sweet words. I am sure my friend is doing okay and maybe you are right about having that time to say good-bye. Yes, Camden has gotten himself potty trained, except for nights. It has been such a great thing!!! No more poopy diapers except I still have to wipe his arse, but it isn't as gross. So, Ava is the handful. That is funny. She will keep you busy while Nathan keeps you sane. A good duo you have there. Glad to see the pics. Your family is just precious and that is funny what you said about no more babies. My cousin's husband won't get snipped (too lazy, I guess) and she is half expceting baby #5 to pop up anytime as she has left it to him to get fixed and she figures if he doesnt it will be fine with her to have one more. As for me, I know more would be great, but something is still holding me back. Probably my insecurities and doubts, Im sure. I think a good talk session with God would do me good. Haven't done that in a while and lately I have been finding myself needed him more and more to get me through things. that must mean something. Anyway, keep in touch and thanks for checking in on me. Heather
from camham :
Julie, Of course you can get in. What is your email! I have missed you. Hope all is well. Heather
from camham :
Julie, How are you? Did you forget about us or do you have a new blog area too? Having two babies tends to be a 100% fulltime job, I bet. Anyway, I miss ya, and hearing how things are going. I have locked my diary so if you want to get the info, just email me at heathy333@aol.com. Hope all is well!! Heather and Cami
from theflyingrat :
Hey.. yeah, Aislyn weighed exactly 21 pounds on the 10th. I'm sure she weighs a little more than that now but probably not much. :) Her chunky little self is cute but she's getting hard to carry! :)
from blondeness :
Thanks so much for your recent note. It meant a lot, and you are probably right.:)
from blondeness :
Thanks for your note. Yeah, I kept thinking that God knew I wanted a girl and feel made to have a girl, so that is what I'd have. I took it for granted. But I guess God had other plans, so far be it for me to question them. And trying for another is tempting, but we are most likely not going to. I guess that is why I took it so hard. I'm doing another entry on the thought process that has brought me to that decision and made me feel better about this, but I do still feel a little "pang" whenever I see a little baby girl or girls clothing in a store.
from theflyingrat :
Response to your comment: Aislyn has 4 teeth now. Well, 3. But the 4th one will be through in the next couple days, I can see & feel it underneath the gums. I get that "weeble" song in my head quite often because Riley does the same thing to Aislyn, haha. Aislyn is about 29 inches (I think... she is 6 months today, I'll do her weight/length tonight) and around 19 pounds (again, I think). AND right before I checked my comments I was sorting through pictures to resize and upload. So hopefully I'll find enough time tonight to do that. :)
from theflyingrat :
Yeah.. you need a myspace account and then I'd add you to my preferred readers list. Kind of a pain in the butt, I know.
from theflyingrat :
Have you tried to add an entry over the past few days? Because whenever I do I get a message that says only people with gold (or supergold) memberships can write. Hmm.
from theflyingrat :
I started training him originally at two years old. He did really well at first and then I was sickish and I slacked and here we are today.
from camham :
Cool boat, Julie. That will be so nice. Ryan and I have wanted to trade ours in for one that has a cabin. It makes it so much nicer for a family outing. It looks really cozy. Ava is growing up so fast and she just looks so much like you. Nathan is getting bigger too and looks mature in his tie. Too cute. Where are you moving? Heather
from camham :
Julie, you hit the nail on the head. I don't have peace about working. I feel pressure to do it. I think that is where the anxiety is coming from. Ever since I went back last year to work part-time and the thought of being the supervisor of that property came up I have had mixed emotions about it. Now I feel like we are getting into it and Ryan is not going to support me leaving if I choose to do so. He keeps saying, "It will get better. Just give it time." I know that if I took Camden out of school I would be saving almost $400 dollars a month and that is a lot. To be honest with you...I don't think I will be able to do this longer than a few months. It will break me. I know it. I just feel so conflicted about it. I was so excited at first and thinking about the prospect of it was great. As for debt, we aren't even that bad off...I mean know there are people out there way worse and they manage. Ryan even talked about getting a second job and that is probably an avenue we shold have pursued before I agreed to do this. If I change my mind and quit, I will be letting a lot of people down. Namely my best friend who pulled and pushed for the position and wanted me to get it. I know that she will understand. She is my true friend, but I will still let a lot of people down and there will be no way I can ever be considered in management at this facility again. I just feel like once again I jumped in without thinking. I need to really sit down and think of what to do. I know. Thank you. I feel like you are really listening to me and your words always make me cry at their truthfulness. Heather
from blondeness :
I'm sorry I took so long to respond, but I wanted to thank you for your notes.;) Yeah, we still have to figure out what to do with the the baby, where to have it sleep after the first couple of months, but yeah, what wonderful "problem" to have, you're right. No, we do not have a walk in closet and there is not room for a crib in our bedroom either, only room for a bassinette at the foot of our bed. And co sleeping is really not an option. My husband won't go for it, as he gets frustrated when Brian climbs in bed with us in the wee hours of the morning sometimes and he winds up getting inched off the bed. Plus it would make it harder to break the child to his/her own room and bed. So, I don't know, I guess we'll have to see.
from theflyingrat :
I will do an eye shot just for you... sometime. :) Aislyn weighs about 16.5 pounds (I have a scale here). She is about 26 inches long I think, I haven't measured her in awhile.
from blondeness :
Thank you so much for all of the beautiful things you said to me in your note. It all meant a lot. I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem.:) God Bless you and yours!
from jess1976 :
Thanks for the very kind note that you left for me. That was very thoughtful of you. I look forward to reading your diary :)
from camham :
Julie, Awww...don't feel bad about not starting Ava on solids. 6 months is probably too early to start them anyway, if you get right down to it. She will have plenty of time to enjoy all that wonderful food. She sounds like a little doll. As for the sleep thing, don't beat yourself up over that either. They are only little so long. Nathn does fine now with sleep. Breastfed babies are just different. They need to nurse more and they know you are going to provide them a warm bosom for comfort. That is a great thing!!! Just enjoy it as long as you can. That is nice she likes the Paci. It's funny that some kids just naturally take to them, and some don't. More pictures please :) Heather
from camham :
Julie, I hope your trip went really great. I know you read up by now, but things in the bed have gone much better. He has slept straight through the night (with me only having to go in occasionally when he still gets sort of confused I think), but continues to wake at 5:30 (!). Ugh! Oh, well, I guess that will pass in time too. The freedom should wear off soon I hope. We child proofed the room so that was good. I have alot to say too that I'm sure you will get a kick out of regarding the MIL. I need to go update that diary and see how everyone weighs in on it:) Heather
from camham :
I didn't go up to the cops. I wrote just kidding, but you must have missed it. That would have been funny, right? And crazy. I am not crazy. Well...I guess that could be debatable. No, seriously, I thought about it, but that would have been a bit bizarre. Even for me. Can you just imagine what they would have said? lol
from camham :
Julie, Hahaha, If you look at my notes, you will see I left this to myself. What a nerd. But let me add before you read on, I loved your family pics and can't believe how much you look like your mom and sister. The house looked beautiful at Christmas time. We got Camden some Thomas stuff, but he is not at all into it yet, so it is put away for a while. Spa stuff...that sounds great! Have a wonderful time. Now on to what I wrote... Thank you for the prayer. You're right, it is a long road, but I am excited to. Like I said, it is all new to me, so you will probably read about a lot of things that I am challenged with. Luckily, lately, I am hearing this little voice in my heart, redirecting me to do things that are more kind and loving. Maybe that is God. Either way, I know I felt a great relief today when I kept saying over and over in my head that I am just going to continue "getting right with God". No matter how hard it is. By the way, in my future, I think I want to get baptized as a family. Neither Ryan or I have been. Or Camden. So, I think that my goal for later this year, maybe even next Jan. will be to get baptized as a family. I want it to mean something to us all though, so I am going to continue to "listen more" and open my heart to Him to teach me. Thanks for all your support. You are a sweet woman. I'm so jeal of Megan for having the pleasure of meeting you. Boo hoo. I have a great neighbor who is very Godly and I want to try and nurture that relationship a bit too. I may even check out her church with Ryan this weekend. His family grew up in that church so I think he would like to go there. Heather
from camham :
Julie, I think that sounds great. i would love to have your supporta nd i can certainly give you mine. I cried when I read your meassgae the first time and then just now in this note section. Sometimes it just helps to feel like I am not the only one who feels the way those things. Trying to be a good wife, mother, friend...I am struggling right now with all of that. I am stressed about the decision to possible accept a full-time position at work. I am very nervous about what that will mean for my relationship with Camden. I struggle all the time with being selfish and lately I just feel this overwhelming desire to be less selfish and more open to being available to Ryan, my family, and Camden. The only time that I have said the prayer you refer to has been in church over this past few months. It was the first time I ever said it and I was so glad that I did. After I read your first meassage I did speak to Him (although I still have to admit it is hard to say that because I am still not used to doing that) and admitted some of the things that I am afraid of. It made me sad to day and I cried, but it was nice to say them out loud. I have to go...my mom is here with baby. Will talk more later.
from camham :
Thank you, Julie, for always being there. You are right about what you said. I know that I should trust in Him more than I do. I think that you are right about me "growing". I feel like I am at a crazy point in my life where I just have a lot of things weighing on my mind. Job, child(ren), finances, family, marriage. Even though I don't sit down and actively fester about each of these things, they are still on my mind, subconsciously. I want to pray more, I want to give up these burdens to a higher power, but it is soooo hard when I have never done that before. I liked youer advice about praying every morning, starting each day like that would be such a dream, but I have yet to incorporate that into my day. Starting to pray at all really. It is one of those habits that I want to start, but just haven't yet. Lately, I have felt a connection with God and I am trying so hard to tap into that, but it is hard when it is not something that I am used to. Thank you for all your advice. Have you always known your feelings for the Lord and have you ever strayed? Heather
from blondeness :
Merry Christmas!!!
from silverscorp :
Happy Birthday Julie!
from blondeness :
Thanks for your note, mymemry. Well, I went down that path before with the first husband, short of the Ovulation Predictor, and we were not successful. But, due to all that, I know what fertile CM looks like. Sometimes I have it, sometimes not. See, I'm afraid of getting too obsessed over trying this time, like I did back then, because I'm afraid that the stress of it all will keep me from conceiving, or jinx me or something. I know, it's silly. But when I got pregnant with Brian, it was an accident, and so I'm trying to relax as much as I can, hoping it will just happen for us. But I'm already obsessing lately about why my last period only lasted 2 days, why I've been so irritable, why I've been feeling kind of sick a few evenings now, like when I got "night sickness" when I was pregnant with Brian, only this is to a lesser degree. Maybe just maybe this time? I won't know until after the 17th, and I don't want to "curse it" and have my hopes shattered, by taking an EPT yet. Wow, this is a long note! Thanks for "listening!"
from blondeness :
By the way, I got your message at my Picturetrail guestbook and replied there. Thanks!
from blondeness :
Thanks for the bday wishes and for the note. I was wondering why nobody has signed my guestbook in so long! I think it's something to do with the guestbook. I'll check into it. Thanks!
from blondeness :
I feel so bad. It's been sooooo long since I have had a chance to take a peak at your diary and I had forgotten your due date and wondered if you had the baby, and here you had your baby girl, Ava, a while ago now and I haven't even been there to congratulate you!!!! Please accept a belated one?? Wow, a baby girl too! I envy you! We are still trying for our next one.:)
from lerin :
Sure! May I have your email address?
from camham :
Julie, Ava looks so darling and precious and I am so happy for you to be a mommy to her and Nathan. they are so lucky to have you in their lives. You sound like things are a bit easier this second time around and you are taking things as they come. Dropping the boy's off at MDO is hard, the tears are hard, adn the "mammamamam", but you're right...they do have a blast and love it. I think it is critical to helping them establish their independence.You are doing great and thanks for the pictures! Heather
from theflyingrat :
You have got to be the sweetest, kindest and most understanding person in the history of ever. Thanks for your comment on my entry. It means more than you probably realize. ♥
from theflyingrat :
The traditional gaelic spelling is Aislinn. At first I disliked our "compromise" on Aislyn (Kent wanted Ashlyn) but now I've grown used to it. I figure I'll probably end up having to put the phonetic spelling in parentheses on everything, haha. Ava was a name that we (well, I) considered very briefly but then Kent said he knew someone with that name and you know how that goes. So I love the name you chose, too! :) We actually borrow my MIL's carpet cleaner to do ours. We only have one carpet in the house (in the living room) so we don't really see the sense in buying one. I have the same "week or two later" problem, where it looks like it was never cleaned. I just figured we were messy! But maybe it's because I don't clean long enough? I have no idea. I'm not all that worried about it, I guess. :) The worst part is that the carpet is cream colored. Oh and we DO take our shoes off here. I always take my shoes off as soon as I get a chance though, I'm not too particular about it if someone comes in and wants to keep their shoes on. Hope things are going well with your two beautiful kids! ♥
from theflyingrat :
I think it's "Kennebunkport" haha. That IS how they say it though. I live about 3 hours from there.. in Bangor. My B&SIL (the "good" ones) are in Vermont this weekend for a wedding. :)
from bitterwineuk :
congratulations on your little girl. Megan did a great job of keeping us all informed. :) Well done!!!
from bitterwineuk :
hello, you don't know me but found you through Megan (mamabean) who updated about your baby being well and truly on the way. In fact I added you to my fave diaries as we have alot of buddies in common. Congratulations on your family and new addition and I will keep an eye out for an update. Hope all is well and good luck for the future. Becca.
from theflyingrat :
We found out about the milk allergy through a skin test. Same with the peanut butter and oranges (and all the animals he is allergic to). Riley LOVES soy milk, he actually loved cow's milk so I was relieved when he switched okay to the soy. Riley actually does okay with cheese and yogurt, we haven't had to cut that out of his diet. He doesn't have ice cream, though. I love ice cream and cheese too, I would not do well if I had a milk allergy even though I don't like to drink milk. Riley doesn't eat many vegetables, either. We have tried EVERY trick the books, doctors and "experts" have said to try and he just isn't interested. Riley does like corn and he loves fruit, though. I just feel like that HAS to be good enough because I can't force feed him. :) On another note - I'm so excited for you, I can't wait to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl! ♥
from hunterpoo :
Heya Julie. I just wanted to thank you for the comment on my entry and the idea. You would think someone who takes as many pics as I do, that I would have done that. I havent at all!! I think I'm gonna take pics of a lot of his stuff, because of the "just-in-case" thoughts in me. Its so hard to let anything go, but if it's taken from me.. at least I'll still have pictures to remember. THank you again Julie. Hope you and Nathan are doing good! :)
from camham :
Julie, They did offer to pay for my medical bills, but I declined the offer. I just felt that it is partially my fault too. On the other hand, i know I didn't do anything to provoke the dof so I don't know...Either way, the $50 office visit was fine. Had it been more I may have taken their offer. Thanks for the sympathy. i needed that:)
from bodega :
I followed a link from mamabean's diary, so I hope you don't mind me lurking. I love to read about other moms. Can't wait to hear more about your baby!!
from blondeness :
I just wanted to wish you a happy mother's day.:)
from blondeness :
entry 494 name: Blondeness email: url: message: I'm glad I'm not alone. Thanks for your note. Yeah, it's like Brian has a split personality. When he is good he is very, very good, but when he is bad......look out! Everytime I think it's finally getting better and maybe the "terrible twos" are passing, he's back at it. And for a while now, he's been very good for the most part, so I'm crossing my fingers this time. Yes, Jason is stricter too, and sometimes he doesn't even have to be. Sometimes all he has to do is give Brian a certian look, and Brian gets that, "Oh no, I'm in trouble! I better shape up!" look on his face, that I wish he would get with me. I sometimes envy that. But yeah, I have sometimes thought Brian's "spunk" to be cute and funny too, I have to admit, until he runs me so ragged I am at my wits end sometimes! lol!
from thaichic :
Julie, hey its Jen. I just wanted to tell you Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm so happy for you! Take care.
from theflyingrat :
Sadly, I only have one sock drawer... they do fill an entire drawer though. :)
from camham :
Julie, No molars yet, but he has been trying to eat away at his hands for weeks now. He has only had a few rough nights of having a hard time settling down. I found those Hyland's teething tablets to be AWESOME!!! 100% natural and they calm him down immediately. He loves to put them in his mouth too. How is Mr. Nathan doing on the teething thing? How are you doing on the pregnancy thing? Please get us some pictures of your growing baby belly!!! Pronto! I miss reading you, but I know how busy things must be. Heather
from mathero :
Have a wonderful Holiday season!
from blondeness :
And what's that wonderful news?? ( I just read your note before this, being nosey!)
from blondeness :
Merry Christmas to you and your family!!
from tequilamonky :
Thanks for the note, that's lovely news! Have a great holiday and enjoy telling all to your family, they'll be over the moon for you just like me :)
from ladyanne01 :
great layout
from blondeness :
I'm just dropping in to wish you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving!
from theflyingrat :
NO! That's the thing! My SIL CAN'T come over tomorrow because she's WORKING. Isn't that great?! :) Hehe, I'm so happy. ♥
from blondeness :
Julie, I'd like to respond to your comment in more depth, but I don't have the time right now. I just wanted to let you know that everything you said meant so much and made me cry and I agree with all of it and you even inspired me to pray to God to help me strengthen our relationship and it made me realize all the quality "girl time" I used to spend with her that I hardly ever now and i think I need to TRY to get back to that from time to time. I think as the adult, if I make the effort, other than to just feel sorry for myself, maybe things will somewhere along the line change...who knows? Thanks again!;)
from theflyingrat :
That entry actually wasn't about you. I know it seemed like it but it was in response to an e-mail that I got from someone who isn't quite as nice as you are. Someone said something about me being a bad mother for having a nasty mouth. As for the other things, it is okay to assume things about me. I expect people to. I guess what I meant (by the Nov. 10th entry) was that people shouldn't assume that I talk the way that I write. And shouldn't assume that I talk about the things that I write. I say a lot of things in my journal that I'd NEVER EVER say out loud. I hope that answers your question. ♥
from theflyingrat :
I'm not mad at you! I am confused as to what question you're referring to, though. Did I miss a note or something? ♥
from theflyingrat :
I know I curse in my journal a lot but I rarely ever swear out loud. If I do get the urge and Riley is around, I can usually bite it back. Please don't think I'm talking like a sailor on a regular basis! ♥
from camham :
Julie, Yes, I get compliments on Camden everywhere I go and people try to baby talk to him and he just stares at them like they are CRAZY!!! It is so funny. I just say, "He's just wondering what you are doing." He has the most amazing little smile though as I'm sure Nathan does and I feel honored that he shares it with people he feels worthy. Haha. Heather
from thaichic :
Awww Julie, Nathan is adorable. ANd your hair? Oh my gosh! So gorgeous! WHy did you ever cut it. I like your hair now though too, so it works either way for you. I'm thinking about cutting mine for the winter because it will usually get so staticy and frizzy. That's so great you got a visit from your friend. She seems lovely. You said your second go around with school. You went twice?
from camham :
Awwwww! I know what it feels like to miss your hair. And what beautiful hair it was! Us women get so attached to our hair. Kind of like an appendage. You look adorable with short hair too! I'm glad you had a good visit from a dear friend. I was so happy to see you updated. I know that the boys must just be keeping us busier and plus we just are more sure of ourselves these days, huh? You'll never know what a support you were in those early months. Nathan is such a sweet heart. That red hair kills me! That boy is darling. Heather
from aliboomboom :
He is so cute, as always!! I just love his little face, he looks like a little boy and not a baby!! Adorable.
from blondeness :
Julie, thanks so much for your kind note. It's funny, because I get teary while reading other journals all the time, and I guess I never imagined anyone would get teary from *my* entries! Yes, I count my blessings every day for my amazing family, thank you.:) I hope my recovery is faster than predicted too, because they also need me and I am feeling all *guilty*, I know, I know....
from camham :
Awww,lovely pictures, Julie. I do believe that even if he was a terror sleeping the other night it was well worth it cause you got some cute pictures and wonderful memories to keep. He may be teething or just loving mommy. Who knows! Nathan has come such a long way in the sleep department and even if you get off the routine some nights thats just fine. He may have slept like crap even if you had done everything exactly the same. Test it out and see. J/K!!!! Isn't that funny though that we get so strict about "the routine"? I know I do. Sometimes I let him stay up like till 7:30...ooooo, big deal, but mostly I get him to bed the same way, the same time, every night. I just don't want to see what would happen if it changed. Even on a bad night of sleep for him though it is never as bad as it used to be. Now, he almost always 95% of the time cries while changing positions or just startled, whatever, and goes right back to sleep. Sometimes I even turn off the monitor while he is crying because I know he will go back to sleep. Then there are times when I mistakenly go to him thinking he needs me and then he won't settle back down and so I just put him in his crib, say good night, and leave. Very hard to do, but so far, he always goes to sleep within 10 minutes. Luckily he has been the poster child for cry-it-out working like a charm. Wow, this was a long note. I didn't know I had that much to say. Anyway, glad to see you had a chance to reconnect with an old friedn who knew Julie way back when. that is always fun to do. Like your own time capsule. Thanks for sharing your cute baby with us! Heather
from camham :
Hey, Julie. thank you for all the messages here and there and for just checking in. I have no idea what size shoe Camden wears. Do you know he doesn't even own any? Is that strange? Should he have some? I tried a pair on his feet in the store one day and I think they wear a 5. Maybe. By the way, I loved the latest pic of Nathan in his car. he is going to have fun with that. What plans will you have for Nathan's 1st b-day? Will he have cake? I have told alot of people that Camden won't be having cake and they think that's odd. I find it odder that I would be expected to give him cake on his 1st b-day? Is that like a rite of passage? Anyway, good to hear from you. I have missed hearing from you regularly too. Is Nathan sleeping better? I read you got your period back. Wierd, huh? Baby planning in the winter? Wow! I have the itch too, but am just not ready yet. I think if Ryan was to get hired on at a Fire department, we would feel differently because we would feel more stable. Could happen soon since he has had a couple of good responses lately. Will let everyone know when we get some good news! Take care. Heather
from aliboomboom :
I just wanted to tell you that I love your notes. They are my favorite. You always take time to leave more than a few words and I appreciate that. You rock!! As for the jeans, I'll take a picture of them this weekend and then you can see for yourself how wonderful they are. I may still look fat in them, I don't know. They feel good though and I love them. And I know with your tiny frame, you would look amazing in them!! Jeans are so important. And yes, it's just nice to be happy and to appreciate what we do have instead of worrying about what we don't. Really, I've felt so happy since Saturday when I kissed NOble. And it sounds silly but it just changed everything for me. Not so much the kiss, just that someone that I crushed on for so long could ever even want to kiss me. It just made me snap out of this weird mood I'd been in for so long. I'm finally free of Ian and happy being single. That feels so good. It really does. Thank you for all the notes. I love them. Have a great weekend!!
from aliboomboom :
You are too kind with the compliments, thank you. And Griffin is back to normal now. It only hurt for three days, I can live with three days I guess. You are right though, it's awful to see them in pain!!
from aliboomboom :
You are too kind with the compliments, thank you. And Griffin is back to normal now. It only hurt for three days, I can live with three days I guess. You are right though, it's awful to see them in pain!!
from frogmom :
Oops I guess I should have been a little more clear, we are going next wednesday :) I have never even been to a pumpkin patach myself.
from mamabean :
Hello! I can read email, but can't send it! Weird. Just wanted to let you know we've arrived safely and all's well. I'm so glad you made it to church and enjoyed it so much! I told you you'd be all revived and refreshed! We are having fun. Alex did well on the trip down and Nana and Poppa are delighted with her. She instantly grew up more the minute we arrived and started doing a bunch of things she's never done before. That's how she does things. Hope ya'll are having a fun day. I am so glad that you and James are getting so much done lately. I know that makes you feel soooooooooooo good. :) I'll work on how to email you and see if I can do so sometime tonight or tomorrow. I think I can use my old Juno account, or Al's at least. Have a great rest of the day. Love love love - M
from blondeness :
Thanks so much for the kind note.;) And yes, the pumpkin patch was great fun for me too, as I hadn't been to one since I was in kindergarden!:)
from theflyingrat :
You're so funny! Actually my ring is a 4.5, not a 4. I made a typo, I should fix that! No, I don't think I've lost weight. I don't have a clue what happened. Oh well, it's not bothering me as much now as it was because it's the next day and I tend to over-react, I guess. :) Thanks for your comments & notes lately, it's sweet of you. ♥
from theflyingrat :
Yes, I chart. I have been for awhile. I think it's quite fun actually. No, I'm not right now actually. I'm pretty sure. But that's okay, there's always next month. :) Thanks for the kind notes. ♥
from theflyingrat :
Hi again! You can ask me anything you want! I am not that private of a person and I don't get offended easily. We did finish that talk and we're now on the same page. Actually we're trying but I'm not writing about it because if I do then I will get more emotionally invested, you know? I can't believe you let your family read your diary! It's funny how I don't care if the rest of the world reads it but when people who know me in real life read it, it freaks me out. Anyway, you can always ask me anything. :) ♥
from theflyingrat :
You think you know what? I'm only asking because on my entry (10-06-05) you left a comment and you said, "I think I know." And I didn't know what that meant! Hahaha, I can be dense so you know.... :)
from blondeness :
Thanks for signing my GB.:) In case you didn't catch my reply to you there, I'll say it here too: Thanks.:) And that's my favorite of the ones I did too...:) I liked yours too! And they are soooo true! When I look in the mirror now, I no longer think, "You are fat and you are ugly." Now, I think, "Look at you. You are a MOM!!" and usually I have Brian in the mirror with me and I think, "Look how much he looks like you, so you must be cute...hmmm!" LOL!:D
from aliboomboom :
Jolene is one of my close friends. We lived together for three years in college and we had a lot of fun together. But I really don't feel the need to talk to her or see her anymore. Is that awful? Maybe but it's how I feel. I almost doubt that I would ever call her if she didn't call me. Maybe it was a friendship of convenience and nothing more? The visit was okay, it felt like she'd never been gone though. I don't know. She hates not being the center of attention and she can be kind of rude. I really have no interest in being in her wedding. I really don't want to visit her in two weeks. I really just don't thikn I care to be her friend anymore. It's just how I feel. But I'll be in the wedding because what would I say now? Anyways thanks for the compliments on Griffin. He's getting so big and so cute. I just want to eat him up. I have no idea what we are going to be for Halloween. It seems like everything is just creeping up on me too fast this yeaR!!
from hunterpoo :
Awwwww I love the pic with Nathan and his first bath with his cuzs!!! As for the glasses, yep I sat down and did them myself. I did about 20 glass, for the wedding party and people who contributed to the wedding funding. Kind of a "thank you". It took a couple weeks and they all came out great. I did them with a dremel hand tool, but i know theres this putty stuff you can put on the glass and it does the same job ALOT quicker without the glass shavings flying. You should SOOOO learn to sew! I learned as a little girl by watching my grandma with her old singer footpettler.
from camham :
Julie, hope all is well onyourend. Have really been missing hearing how you are doing, but you must be busy. Take care, girl. Heather
from aliboomboom :
I think Elvis would be really cute too but then again this is his last year as a baby so I want him to be all soft and cute and cuddly. I don't know. I really like the lion costume at Children's Place, I wish they made it bigger. I tried to access the ebay page but it wasn't responding. I havne't been on there in two weeks, I need to get back in the habit, think of all the things I didn't buy!! What is Nathan going to be for Halloween? And yes, I save most of Griffin's stuff. I don't know why. I guess I hope one day I'll get to have another one and I don't want to get rid of all these beautiful clothes, ya know? I get rid of some of the things I'm not as crazy about by giving them to charity. I need to be more organized about it, I really really do!!
from aliboomboom :
AIM is AOL Instant Messenger, Tosha and I are addicted, we talk all day long. I guess that's what happens when you have a boring job!! And I think the whole Brandon thing is just hard because it's hard to get over rejection, I have never really had to deal with it. Ian and I broke up and it sucked but I was the one who did it so moving on was easy for me. I never understood why he couldn't and hasn't but now I do. It's definately easier to move on if you are the one to end things, ya know? And I guess because of the way things happened with Brandon, I want something to blame it on and sometimes I think it's my weight. I don't know. I know he thinks I'm beautiful so that's not it. I don't know. I just want to be over him so bad and I'm not. And no he doesn't know how I feel at all, I don't know if I could ever tell him. It's a pride thing, I guess. Right now I'm trying to work on me. There are so many things I need to change in myself, I need to focus on that. How are you doing? You haven't updated in a while. Everything, okay?
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the kind words. I really don't think I expressed myself very well. It's not that I think that the only reason that Brandon didn't like me was my weight. I know he's not that shallow. And I honestly haven't wanted to date anyone but Brandon so I'm sure that partially the reason it hasn't worked with me and the other guys I've seen is because I never really liked them. Anyways I know that weight shouldn't matter that much but honestly I don't want to be with a fat person, I don't want to be with someone with extra pounds, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves so why should I expect the kind of guy I would want to want to be with me? I shouldn't.
from aliboomboom :
Do you know that you look like Kimberly Williams Paisley? That's a compliment definately. I love her. She's on that show What About Jim or something with Jim Belushi and Courtney Thorne Smith. Gorgeous. And you were so skinny right after having Nathan, women like you make me sick. I'm still fat, over a year later. You should be a baby machine if you lose the weight that fast!! Anyways I wanted to thank you for your kind comments. You always leave me the nicest notes and you are always supportive of me. I must say you are one of my very favorite people on diaryland and I am so glad that I got to know you. It really is a pleasure. Thank you for always supporting my decision to stay at home with my parents for now and for making me feel like I'm doing okay. I really hope that you start feeling more like yourself soon. I hate it when I go through spells like that, it's just awful. Also, I never make my bed so this will be a challenge but I'll make sure and post it soon. I had a lovely bed at my apartment but now I just have the antique one that I've had forever. I'll try and make it look pretty just for you.
from mathero :
Just wanted to let you know I added you. Feel free to stop by my diary and take a look around. Your little one is quite a cutie! Have a great Sunday!
from camham :
Baby pics can always make you cheer up, eh? Good for you. I hope all is well. Vent anytime you need to. Heather
from frogmom :
hope you have a great weekend as well!
from frogmom :
We had a great time!
from underthegaze :
Heya Julie - thank for your note - I DO take medication and after researching on the internet last night, I've realized that my medication is probably the reason that I'm having these issues. I've made an appointment with my psychiatrist for next Wednesday and we will be discussing this!!! So thanks for the heads-up!
from untamedwings :
It just seems like there is more that could be done. Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part but they need so much more than they're going to get in time. I think people are just so paniced that they aren't even seeing a way out at this point. Looting...for necessities I understand at this point. They need water, food, anything dry, diapers. Some goof floating a new tv thru 5 feet of water is assinine.
from frogmom :
HAHA! I am wondering when the baby is due too! LOL! I know what you mean about the entrances, its just not right. When I was pregnant with both the girls I quit smoking, but was dumb enough to start again. And like you siad, I like smoking and its so so hard to quit. The only time I have ever been able to was while I was pregnant. So maybe I should get pregnant! LOL
from underthegaze :
Thanks for your note! This is very interesting to me - but now my mother says that the reason I didn't walk until 20 months was because I was doublejointed so there goes my theory! Ah well...
from theflyingrat :
Hey. To bold things you use the <b>things</b> tag, to underline things you use the <u>underline</u> tag, and to italicize things you use the <i>things</i> tags. Oh and to cross things out you can use either <s>things</s> or <strike>things</strike>. The <s></s> only works in some browsers though. So I usually use <strike></strike> for that. :) Hope that helps. ♥
from frogmom :
Yeah much better, back to how things used to be. I think it was mostly like stress from no money and other life stress. I am happy, he is happy the girls are happy. We are all happy :) LOL At this point I am not really trying for number 3, I am on birth control another month and a half. One because I was having pain about a week after my period and two because last time I did last I got pregnant shortly after. Thank you I lve the layout too, cherub made it for me. I just read on your profile you are a registered nurse? Dd I know that? LOL When the girls are in school that what I want to go to school for.
from aliboomboom :
He is so cute!! And he's about the same size as Griffin. Grif only weighs 21 pounds!!
from camham :
Hey, Julie. Thanks for the encouragement on the diet. I know what you mean about ice cream and it's tempting voices! Evil!! I have even heard it calling me from the store over the past few days. As for the cleaning, now that you have it all done, it should be very easy to maintain. Just do the main areas daily or every other day, like putting away things on floors and coutertops, and the larger projects like bathrooms every other week or so. I have found those Clorox wipes so useful. I use them to freshen the bathroom and counters when I need to clean quickly. I also keep a toilet bowl bursh, comet, and a sponge in each bathroom. Oh, and I just splurged on that new Pledge multi surface cleaner which is PHENOMENAL! Yay!! I am so glad they invented something like that. now I can go from glass to wood without changing products. Can you tell I get off on cleaning? Heather
from frogmom :
Thank you Julie! She had a great birthday! As for the hair, I think it is finally starting to grow out! I want my hair to like the middle of my back! I think that is a few yrs away tho! LOL
from theflyingrat :
First, your baby is a cutie! Secondly, the dentist situation. Riley's got some kind of abcess so I took him to the doctor. They sent me to a dentist who confirmed that it's an abcess, assured me that it was not a decayed tooth (obvious to me anyway!) and then referred me to a specialist (pediatric dentist). It took me over a week to get the referral in the mail. Now I've tried to make an appointment with the specialist and they are saying that I've got to fill out an application and that I probably won't get Riley in for awhile because that dentist is going on vacation. Whew! Hope that clears everything up! ♥ Yes I read the books I ordered on miscarriage and they helped a lot. I actually was doing quite well until I found out my SIL was pregnant and then it sort of happened in my mind all over again (especially since I found out about her baby on the 2 month anniversary of my miscarriage, if that makes sense). ♥ Thanks for your kind notes and it's nice to see you updating! ~Jenn
from thaichic :
Happy Birthday Nathan!
from untamedwings :
I love his expression in that pic! So sweet! 9 months is one of my very favorite ages, seriously. So fun yet they aren't getting away too fast yet! Hugs.
from starlight42 :
thanks for the note! your son is so adorable!!
from mamabean :
the book is only about mice... no men. it was "Mouse's First Valentine," and I read it before Alex's nap. She loves that one. :) Shopping is tomorrow. Menu planning is today. But you were close!
from mamabean :
hee hee nice napping position! how long did he stay that way? yes, i do remember jill's mom. Well, I remember that she was played by Flo from Mel's Diner, anyway. To my knowledge, my mom has never told anyone to 'kiss her grits,' but other than that, they are pretty much twins separated at birth! Happy 9 months, Nathan, again... Give Mama a big hug!
from frogmom :
Hes so cute!
from theflyingrat :
He's adorable. But you know that! Oh, to have the flexibility of a baby! (I'd be a millionaire by now, haha.) ♥
from camham :
P.S. Camden is in bed by 8 now too and it seems to be working good. It works for our household too. As for my schedule, I work either Monday, Tues, and Thurs. or Tues., Wed and Thurs. depending on how I feel and what days Ryan has off. I either work from like 9-12 or 1-4. It isn't bad and so far it has been a nice change. It doesn't feel much like "working" since I go in, do my thing, and then leave, you know? It is nice to get out though and Ryan can spend one on one time with Camden and my mom can too. Heather
from camham :
Too cute, Julie. Our dogs have been somewhat banished too. Poor things. Nathan is really looking like his papa! Heather
from mamabean :
Happy 9 months old Mr. Natey McNate! We love you! We also think your pictures today were magnificent! Hugs from Miss Megan and Alexis
from theflyingrat :
B#3 is cute, isn't he? Haha. When my in-laws had kids they got better as they went along. :) He turned 30 last October! Kent definitely did not want to take me to the bedroom in that picture, haha! He was teasing me because my FIL would not stop taking my picture. I HATE having my picture taken, HATE it. So of course people prey on this. Anyway, thanks for the comment. :) And I MIGHT post a pic of me in my new glasses but I doubt it. I bet you can guess why. :) ♥
from cosmopolitn :
That is the cutest memory, you making drinks and serving snacks! It made me smile and I don't even really know you :) I am sure it is very hard to maintain keeping a home clean the way you would like it...Probably every woman's daily struggle... As always, your son is adorable...
from friedokra :
you can maintain you can maintain! goooooooo julie! the picture you left us with is my new favorite natey mcnate picture... he is such a little puddin'. ooo, i love that child!
from camham :
Julie, you are so good at remembering birthdays. You must have these written down...a cheat sheet! I can hardly believe that he is 8 months. And Nathan, nine? Wow! Where has the time gone? You're right about the changes. He is learning so fast and does forget things, like how to get down, too. Especially when he is too busy thinking of where I am or whatever else concerns him at the moment. I moved his crib back to his room (the most moved bed in the world I think). He is there now and I am going to try putting him back there at the beginning of the night. Oh, by the way, yes I did have braces. Although my teeth have moved a bit, they still seem straight. Heather
from camham :
Thanks for the notes, Julie. I am not having much time to write back to people these days, but wanted to say thanks. No Cam hasn't been back to the doc yet. Don't know why I'm putting it off. No difference in sleep with extra food or formula added. I just have a little tyke who is going to give me a challenge during these times. What to do? I can not bring myself to leave him alone to cry. Not even for five minutes. Not yet. He slept good last night, only waking twice for a quuick nurse, but the problem is the lack of predictability, you know? Some nights are just worse than others and they seem to go on for a while. Maybe they have to do with developmental changes. He has accomplished a lot rather quickly (not trying to indicate he is like a genius or anything). I don't know. Anyhow, will try to post an update later. Cam is pulling all the books off my bookshelf right now :)Heather
from theflyingrat :
I'm that way with my cleaning. If people are coming over I turn into an obsessive clean freak. :) Glad you're back and don't worry about catching up! Not much of any interest has been happening to me anyway. Haha, if I'm the Jenn you meant, that is. :) ♥
from hunterpoo :
hehe I'm sure everyone will forgive you for being behind. I'm just glad to know you're doing ok and that you have a clean house! Yay!! haha.
from friedokra :
I showed Al these pictures and when he saw the one of Nathan kissing Alex, he announced that Nathan is banned from our house! Don't worry, I will smooth things over. Tee hee.
from aliboomboom :
Cute pictures!!
from untamedwings :
Ahhh Annette Benning! That's who you remind me of! I LOVE the pic of Nathan looking out at the ducks, so sweet. Nothing quite like ripping up sod, dead grass & earth to clear way for something. The every muscle hurting thing is something you just never forget! Hugs ♥
from mamabean :
oooooooooooooh! you look like a movie star in the photo of you and Danielle and the two kiddos. maybe annette benning? I can't figure it out exactly. anyway, very classic beauty! that's neat about the monkey grass... I think there's an entry somewhere in my diary from the spring before alex was born talking about my mom and me planting monkey grass borders along 2 sides of a path. in one day, we planted 150 feet worth, and i can attest, that is a HARD job. go julie! :)
from aprylart :
Thanks for notifying me of that bad link to my profile. I have it fixed now. And by the way...I love your diary:)
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad that you like photobucket. Sorry for the confusion with the password, I had to disable diaryland so my boss wouldn't find it on my computer while I was gone! I can't wait to see more pictures. And you are right, I am so glad to be home! I feel relieved that summer is almost over. Too much traveling for me!!
from mamabean :
yay! i'm glad you updated! Melody looks like a cutie, and i think the movie date idea was a wonderful one! love you! m
from cosmopolitn :
Good luck to James and yay Nathan for walking (although I am sure it is causing you headaches) :)
from untamedwings :
Funny...I was going to leave you a note this morning had you not updated. I've hoped all was well.You must be on pins & needles about the bar exam! Good luck to James. I love watching older kids with babies. ♥
from mamabean :
Glad you are getting lots done and having fun at it! :) Go, Julie! (and Melody, and James, and Nathan.) Hugs - Megan
from theflyingrat :
Hey. Noticed you hadn't been around for awhile, just wondering if everything's okay. ♥ -Jenn
from camham :
Yes, Julie that is snuggle puppy and he just loves to hear us sing the song. My mom and I have an ongoing debate because I sing...oooooo..like the end of you and she sings OOOOOO, like Ohhhhh. How do you sing it?
from camham :
Yay, Nathan!! Nathan and Alex must have chatted and decided they needed to start moving:) They are on the same wave length it seems. Get ready, Julie, he is on the move and that is going to be fun for you!! I am chasing Camden all over the place. Now he pulls up on the furniture and thinks he can stand when he lets go, but he falls. I have to spot check him all the time! Ha ha!
from untamedwings :
I'm so glad that the storm was downgraded & that you are all safe. Hugs.
from frogmom :
LOL Actually I dont really care for Taco Bell! LOL I am dieing for a taco! LOL I am so glad to hear the good, well better news about the storm! My nice clean house, wont stay nice and clean for very long!
from theflyingrat :
So happy for you!! Good luck with everything, hope there's not too much damage. ♥ jenn
from theflyingrat :
I hope everyone is all right. And stays all right. I'll be thinking of you! ♥ I like living in Maine because there aren't any natural disasters really. We get minor hurricanes and stuff but nothing major.
from frogmom :
thats freaky! I think I would have wanted to move after Ivan! I will be thinking of James. When was the storm supposed to reach the gulf coast? Sunday right?
from aliboomboom :
The pictures are adorable. I am sure it was love at first sight. My best friend has a beautiful little girl that was born in February, we are hoping they'll fall in love as well. So far, they aren't at all interested in one another though.
from frogmom :
oh how adorable!
from untamedwings :
Awww first baby friends! They look so sweet together & obviously had a good time. Moms need to stick together. No one will understand your everyday struggles better than a first time mom. I'm glad you had fun!
from aliboomboom :
The picture is adorable. 39 years, wow. It sounds like you guys really have some strong marriages surrounding you, that's a wonderful thing. I think it gives us something to aspire to, don't you? I haven't been leaving notes but I'm reading and I'll be around more, I promise!
from hunterpoo :
Hunter was scooting backwards at about 7 months, by 8 months he had figured out forward but was still on his tummy, I think 9 months was when he got it down better. NOW at 11 when he crawls.. he's very good. Sits down and makes U-turns in a snap. hahah. I bet the walking process will be just as fast. Is Nathan crawling yet?
from untamedwings :
Julie I'm so sorry, I thought I left you a note awhile back. TY so much for the thoughts, prayers, etc. It all means a lot. Hugs.
from camham :
OOOOOO!!! I knew he had red hair! How adorable. I just love me a little red-head! I hope it stays that way. I'm glad that you are having a nice, relaxing time. Nathsn is being a good boy, I bet!
from mamabean :
ps are you getting my emails?
from mamabean :
yay! i'm so glad you are having a good time! hope nathan is sleeping and eating well and you are getting rest and relaxation too.
from frogmom :
Glad you are having a good visit with your mom!
from thaichic :
Julie, hey woman. I was just asking Heather for her aol or yahoo screenname to see if we're all ever online at the same time if we wanna chat. There are a couple of things I wanted to talk to you two about. Hope that's cool. -Jen
from camham :
Yes, Julie, we are very blessed! You just love on that baby as much as you an. Soon our boys are going to be shying from our hugs and cuddles and we'll be chasing them around every corner for them. Boo hoo. Anyhow, abouth the sleep thing. I know how frustrating that can be. It seems like you get to a point where you're in this great routine and then they go and change things up on you. I still put Cam down in his crib too, but he wakes up about every two hours and needs to nurse, or else he just sits up (or with is latest, hangs on the side of the crib) and cries. I just nurse him for the sake of it being good food, faster sleep, and less crying. I found a lot of good research on Kellymom.com and apparently the sleeping through the night is just as much a develpmental milestone as sitting up, crawling, or walking is. I never thought of it like that, but it certainly makes sense to me. Oh, one other thing that is different...don't know if Nathan is still going to bed at 7, but it seems that Camden has really benefitted from a later bedtime. He does start to get fussy around 7, but he usually doesn't got to bed until between 8 and 9. I have been pretty diligent about getting in an afternoon nap at 4:30 or 5. This helps. When I was putting him down at 7, he started to get up 1/2-1 hour later and would be wide awake thinking it was just a nap. So, we pushed back the bedtime. You could try it and see what happens with the wakings. Just a thought. I'm sure he will get back into the routine again. And even if not, just enjoy it. By the way, do you pump BM for his foods and when do you have the time? If I don't hear from you while you are at your mom's---HAVE A GREAT AND FABULOUS TIME!!!! Where does she live? Did I read right about you visiting Megan? That would be fun. Well,be safe and have a good time!! Heather
from frogmom :
I still want a pool like that! My mom has one tho and she just lives up the street.
from frogmom :
Makayla says thank you!
from camham :
Hey, Julie. Thanks for the lovely note. I got the play mat at Babies-R-Us. I am sure you can order it on line. i got the larger version of the two. He has fallen many times and bumped his head, but it definitely cushions his fall. It cost me about $40, but was well worth it. We don't have any carpet in our house, so... I am so glad to hear that Nathan is doing good. I enjoyed his recent pictures. What a cutie pie. Yes, the nursing has turned into something I just cann't do while other people are around at the moment. I have read they grow out of this phase, so we shall see. I hope so. I am trying not to introduce the sippy cup or more solids (he still eats solids just twice a day now) because I am afarain that he will be quite content with eating and using the sippy cup over nursing if he had the choice at the moment. How often does Nathan eat and nurse now? Cam is still nursing through the night. He apparently feels quite content with this and from what I have read it is common for some babies to continue to consume %25 of their calories through the night. I am so blesseds to be able to stay home with him during the day and not worry so much about what happens through the night!
from frogmom :
oops I just nticed the comment you left! LOL We got our pool at BI-MART for 20.00, it was on sale. I rally wanted one like you got. But at this time we do not have the money for it! :(
from blondeness :
Thank you. No, I am not offended at all. I appreciate your respect for my privacy. I am just relieved that it was not because you wished to delete "me" from your list or anything. Thank you again.
from blondeness :
My last very lengthy note to you, in response to some questions is not showing. Did you delete it, or did it just not post? Hmmm...no matter, but let me know if there is more you need to know that you have not read in my answers. K? Thanks.
from blondeness :
Oh yeah, and yes I still keep up Julia's little journal, though a lot of times Dawn will tell me something funny to add and I'll forget to. The funny things are fewer and far between now that she is 11 years old. I'll have to start one for Brian soon. I still plan on reading some of Julia's to her on her wedding day, lol.
from camham :
Julie, Nathan has the cutest little Elvis grin. One side up, one side down! He looks so much like his daddy it is eary. Is that a tint of red in his hair? I am so sorry to hear that you may have caught his cold. It doesn't sound like it will get to awful. Luckily. Yes, the MIL situation has been put to rest for the time being. We exchanged some comments and basically just came to realize that she is a sensitive person and I am too when it comes to Camden. She told me that I just need to let her know when she says something that "gets to me". I don't know if I will do that, but next time she says something, I may not take it so much to heart. Thanks for the compliments on Camden and his new skills. He has been a lot of fun doing his sit up thing lately. I am very excited for him. He has so much of my personality in him. The quiet way he observes everything and studies everyone and everything. Isn't it the greatest thing seeing how much their faces light up when they see us mommy's. There is a special twinkle in his eye that he only has for me right now and I love that!
from untamedwings :
Chloe actually only seems phased by cats! Dogs, no problem. New babies, no problem. Another cat- that's war!
from blondeness :
Oh. And I am just curious, how far have you gotten?:)
from blondeness :
Hi. Thanks for the note! Boy do you have a lot of reading to do if you are reading me from the start. It might be confusing, because for some reason my older entries for the years 2000 and 2001 are all kind of jumbled in order. Yes, feel free to ask me questions at anytime, any questions are free to ask. As for the answer, no I do not still correspond with "Spacecake" anymore, and he has shut down his diary years ago. If you have read any of my recent entries, he is the "Daniel" that I speak of, from my past. I won't tell you more unless you ask, because I don't want to spoil the "storyline" of my life for you if you don't want me too, lol. I enjoy your journal very much myself by the way. Here's to "good reading" and I'll talk to you again then maybe.:)
from untamedwings :
Wasn't that amazing?? Those once in a great while happy endings give so much hope. Natalee Halloway's step-mom was on the Abrams Report last night, shortly after Brennan was found & it was just so bittersweet.
from camham :
Happy 7 months, Nathan! Yes, indeed, it does look like he might be a bit puffy around the eyes in the last picture. Maybe a small cold a brewing, but I bet it won't end up being much at all. I am so glad you all had a great weekend. Just what you needed! Nathan looks like he has a great personality. I love the beach and biting table photos! Too cute!
from camham :
Julie, you are so gorgeous. And you look like such a nice person. Something in your eyes just says that you have a heart of gold. I bet you give great hugs :) We had a great time in Valdosta visiting Ryan's grandparents and aunt & Uncle. Camden was a doll the wole day and all night!!! I was so proud of him. He showed off so much! The pictures you shared are great. About the next baby, I don't know for sure. I had wanted to try to wait till Cam was at least 4, but I don't know. We shall see. Heather
from blondeness :
Wow. Great pictures! You are so pretty! And you catch the greatest expressions on your little guy! As for photos, what I do myself is create an album on Yahoophotos.com, download my photos there, and then mark it as viewable to the pulic, and post the link, just like you would post the link to another diary here at dland, using that yahoo link instead. Good luck to you!:)
from mamabean :
such a great looking family! you look gorgeous! i have that same sweater, but without the lapel-ish thingies. even the same color. there's a pic of me in it in my diary from easter. anyway, i bet dinner was fun, and even tho these kiddos are getting more and more er... interactive.. on night's out, it so much fun to have them with us, no? i think the service tends to be a bit better when you have a lil one, bcs people seem to view them as ticking time bombs! hugs - m
from frogmom :
you can use photobucket.com thats what I use, its really easy!
from untamedwings :
Love the pics. You my dear are adorable. I can say that because I get called exactly the same thing so if you want we can roll our eyes together :)
from camham :
Hey, Julie, We didn't get to have the talk. And of course, they came over the next night together, and she acted like nothing ever happened, but did not stay to wait till Ryan got home. Thank you for the sweet compliment you left on the naked baby. I can't belive how mature he looks. Where is the time going? Can you even imagine having another one? BTW, when are you planning another one, if you don't mind my asking.
from aliboomboom :
Okay here goes. I'll try to remember all the questions. I named Griffin Griffin because I didnt' want him to have a name that people could shorten, I hate that. I am Ali because I have two names that can be shortened for that, I like Ali so it's okay. Grif doesn't bother me too much, B this guy I was seeing always referred to him as that and I thought it was cute and endearing. Griffin is what I prefer though. We call him all kinds of things at home. I do not live in Charleston, I was just there for the first time in May. It's beautiful and I love it. I live in Tennessee. As for Nathan, he's adorable. And Babs is the cutest name, I just love it. I had the same problem with my gold limit so I am not renewing it, I am jsut going to host pictures at photobucket, it's really easy and free. You could do that instead of deleting picturse!!
from mamabean :
uh oh, i noticed you commented in ali's notes that you don't want people to call nathan 'nate' - i actually call him "natey mcnate", but i know it matters to you now, so i'll stop! oooooops!
from thaichic :
Oh no he's reading, but good point. I think it's part of his daily task, lol. Last night we watched The Notebook and he mentioned looking for a particular scene and I asked why and he said because he read in my diary someone mention how great the scene was. Ali had mentioned the Say I'm a Bird scene. Plus at home he never clears the history so I know he reads before going to work usually. Which all of this is fine, but he knows how I really feel about Kaluah and the house and cleaning and so forth and it's like whatever.
from thaichic :
Hey woman. Don't ever feel like you're prying into my life or anything. I air out my life in my journal. It's understandable something may not make sense and you need clarification. I trusted Tim when we first met and told him about my silverscorp journal. He would write the sweetest comments during my pregnancy. Then I never mentioned thaichic when I switched over but he mentioned something I had said only in my journal so I knew he found it on our computer probably. I realized that he's my husband and I'm not hiding anything plus he can read my frustrations when I won't tell him. I don't have a problem with him reading, but lately I've really been "screaming" in a sense and he hasn't said anything about it. Which hurts when I think about it.
from camham :
Thank you so much for remembering Cam's six month B-day! That was so sweet!!! Heather
from frogmom :
Nathan is a little doll! I am glad the storm wasnt that bad!
from camham :
Wow, Julie. Nathan looks like he is getting so big! I am so glad that you had a great time with your in-laws. They sound like (and look like) lovely people. How lucky you are to have such a nice extended family. Things are still not "resolved" on our end, but I'm sure they will be worked out soon. Thanks for your nice message. I will give some thought to the letter idea. It is a good one. Heather
from camham :
Wow, Julie. Nathan looks like he is getting so big! I am so glad that you had a great time with your in-laws. They sound like (and look like) lovely people. How lucky you are to have such a nice extended family. Things are still not "resolved" on our end, but I'm sure they will be worked out soon. Thanks for your nice message. I will give some thought to the letter idea. It is a good one. Heather
from frogmom :
No, he doesnt know about him. He acused he last summer and I told him he was full of it. Yes, he would use it against me!
from noclue4aname :
I just stopped by your journal and I just wanted to leave you a note to say I enjoyed reading it. Your pictures are so cute!
from cosmopolitn :
I can't believe how much they look alike! I always tell Ryan that I want a little boy that looks just like him, but isn't that what every mother wants? As for my job, I am not a social worker (you have to actually get liscensed to be called that) but my major was social work and what I do is considered social work. The clients I work with have behavior disorders, personality disorders, developmental disabilities, they are MI etc...You name it, they probably have it! Most of them have all of the above so you can just imagine what they are like..They are all over 18 (i work in the adult side of the program) There ages range from 18-54 (we do have some who are middle-aged), however,the majority of them are in their 20's. Thanks for the comments about Ryan...I hope he gets to come home soon too...This is his second tour and I think he is just fed up ya know? He was supposed to be out of the Army last January and they held him in another year, and made him go back over. Boo...Doesn't seem fair that they can do that.. Anyway, it is so hard without him here, but I just try to look on the bright side of things like our wedding next May! A cosmopolitan consists of vodka, triple sec, lime juice and cranberry juice...Usually garnished with a lime. You should really try one! They are very strong and you have to take little tiny sips, but they are very good... I am going to add you to my list if you don't care... Have a great day! ~Rebecca
from thaichic :
They look so much alike! What a great picture of James and his mother. SHe's beautiful. It is amazing how much they resemble one another. I'll have to put up a couple of pictures of Tim as a baby.
from cosmopolitn :
I just ran across your diary bc I started reading thaichic...Just wanted to say hi and your son is adorable!
from camham :
Awwww, Julie, no hard feelings here for sure. I know how hard it is for you to hear Nathan cry. They have to cry sometimes though and you really are doing the right thing. I think a month or so, Cam will start to be soothed more from just my words and touch. I can already see it happening. I let him cry sometimes too, but for me I was just having such a hard time getting him consoled (without nursing) and I just couldn't let him keep going. Maybe in the future, when he is older (like 5 or 6...just kidding:), I will feel more confident letting him go longer and calm himself down. I am a wussy when it comes to this area...and so is Ryan. It has everything to do with my emotions and what I can and can not handle. Last night he slept the whole night in his crib (mostly...except for when I must have fallen asleep with him in my bed from 3-5), but he still wakes up every two hours and needs to be nursed. I am working on these wakings though. Like, I make sure the monitor is on and when I hear him stir (before he starts to cry), I go in and put my hand on his back. I just find that if I just don't sleep...going back and forth to his room...I feel much better about the whole thing. It is when I get that deep sleep in and he wakes up that I start to get ill about the wakings. So, I'm just going to stay awake 24/7. HaHa! This is probably why my mom stays up all night, sleeps with the TV on, and stays in a good mood. After all, I will admit to you...my brother and I shared a room/bed with her till we were each about 10 years old. EEEgad, right!!! What will probably have to happen for us down the road is Ryan will have to step up to the plate and take over the night parenting if Cam continues the every 2 hour nursing. Ryan isn't ready to do that yet and neither am I, I guess. I haev found my milk supply is back up to where it was before and I can pump more since he has been sleeping with me even part time. Odd, huh? So, at least while I am in school it is a good thing. And I am still so happy that he is in his own crib for naps and bedtime. He has come a long way. I will always put him down for sleep in there...it's just plain safer, if nothing else. I think it is way cool that he seems to be calmed by my talking to him now. For some reason, I never really used my words before because I thought it would stimulate him, but now I see it actually calms him down. How neat!!! Thanks for the note! I missed hearing from you. If you ever want to vent to me about something I said, please do. Or just ask questions. I sometimes need to see a different perspective too and would hate to seem a complete radical/close-minded butthead one way or another! :)
from untamedwings :
Thank you Julie. Hugs.
from camham :
Julie, I thought something was up. I think you may have misinterpreted my feelings about babies crying for what you have done with Nathan. When I speak of my feelings on that subject, I speak from the side that I have been unable to get Camden to calm himself when he is crying. Maybe I have misread your entries and notes because I have never thought you have had to let Nathan cry it out. You have always offered him comfort to the point that he accepts it and calms down, right? Even still, I was not judging you. I know how hard you have worked with Nathan and I by no means meant to imply that it was quick. I guess to me it seemed like he just made progress so much more quickly. I'm sure you didn't see it that way because you were living in the moments. I was just reading your diary with all it's positive entries. I am so sorry you were offended by what I wrote. I am such a work in progress and I will probably waiver on many issues from time to time, but it will never mean that what other's are doing is wrong. Just wrong for me at that moment in time. Like I wrote, I will probably need to revisit the sleep training issue in a few months and re-read your entries for help. I would like to think the lines of communication are still open with you incase I need some advice, but I understand if that is not something you feel comfortable doing. I will always be here if you need anything.
from camham :
Julie, I hope that you were not talking about me when you metioned how some latest entries have wounded you heart. I hope that I did not do that. You have been awfully quiet lately. If it was me, I want you to know that was not my intent. Things with our (Cam & I) sleeping situation just were not getting better and I needed to go back to the way things were (with some wonderful improvements...like him being in his own bed, his own room, most of the night) for a while and regroup. You HAVE been so supportive of me and I really enjoyed our back and forth banter while we were going through sleep issues together. It meant a lot and I eagerly checked my "notes" all the time! Well, I wanted you to know that I love reading your diary too and I hope that we can always be here for each other. This forum has really been such a support to me!
from untamedwings :
Ahhh the glorious shades of gray. They exist everywhere & in every situation. Opening yourself to understanding them is a way to become kinder, more gracious and a better friend in general. Just my opinion of course. Read, laugh, love, enjoy, give & take advice but try not to carry another's problems as if they were yours. That's one of the best bits of advice I was ever given. If you can't control it then at some point you need to let it go...Now if only I could do that more...:)
from hunterpoo :
Thank you for the compliment on Hunt's eyelashes. Those really get the girls attention!! And he does flirt already. He plays a shy peekaboo whenever girls/women talk to him. I'm in trouble.. aren't I? hehe.
from untamedwings :
I'm proud of you. You found your way in the whole sleep debacle. It doesn't matter what road you took or what helped, in the end what is most important is that you are comfortable with your choices. Transitions are always, always hard on someone. If you're ready, he'll be hesitant or if he's ready you may unknowingly be holding him back. It's all about the journey :) (I say holding back because in retrospect I did that with Maya. It was the overprotective, unsure, first time mom instinct to coddle her- sometimes more than was necessary.) Hugs.
from thaichic :
Julie the layout looks awesome. I love it! I'm just now catching up on everyone, sorry I'm late.
from camham :
Yay, Julie! I am really happy that your sleeping arrangements have improved so dramatically and you and James are getting back your "ya'll time."
from frogmom :
I love the new layout!
from untamedwings :
TY for the thoughts. I will know something thursday. He'll do a biopsy & the last time he did a biopsy he scheduled the cryo (freezing bad cells) for 4 days later & put a stat on the biop results so he'd have them. When doing a biop they can see an awful lot & mine was visible. I'm anticipating the same this time. B is so NOT a baby. It's good & sad all at once. I love babies & I really pay attention to the baby things she still does because once she outgrows it, it's over until grandchildren (Which better NOT be for at least 22 years!).
from frogmom :
thank you
from frogmom :
ok where to start... Ummm, Jerry and I have nothing in common. He is adicted to pain pills and will not get help. No he is not physically abusive, but finacially he is along with emotionally. Yes I tell him and he tells me I am crazy, I will nevre get my kids and so on. I believe marriage is a sacred thing as well. But I also know its not healthy for us (the girls or I) to be like this...
from frogmom :
Thanks Julie! It was really fun you should do one too!
from hunterpoo :
Hi Julie! Thanks so much for the compliment on the layouts. I'm glad you liked Megan's and Jemma's. =) Nathan is adorable!! I love smiling babies. My lil guy use to smile alot but teething has changed that. Nathan looks like a big baby! Whatta cute guy. =) Kate
from mamabean :
i love serious lil babies! he is such a doll! make sure to post a pic of james in his new glasses, too. yeah, i agree about the picky eater thing! it will make life so much easier when these kids start on table foods if we get them accustomed to trying and accepting lots of tastes. otherwise you end up making a meal for the adults and another for the kids, which, trust me, can get to be very time consuming (i have to do it with my two stepkids when they are here.) so keep going with all of the different foods now! can you believe that in addition to spinach, alex also eats butternut squash? i didn't eat butternut squash (willingly) until i was 35! tee hee. and great job on the sleep stuff, too. Mommy power! xoxo
from camham :
Julie, I have been saying over the past few days how very serious Camden is. That is funny that Nathan is the same way. He always has a big grin for me and sometimes a squel, but mostly just very serious. Studying everything. Like you say,"taking it all in". I know what you mean about the sleep thing and how it is so hard to believe that if you had never decided to make a change you wouldn't be where you are now. As for us, I just feel like we are degressing more and more every night. Like last night, he woke up every 2 hours. It has been very frustrating. I don't know what I am doing that is so wrong. Maybe he just needs me to go cold turkey on the nursings at night. I have also noticed that each time he wakes up at night and starts to cry, when I find him he is on his back. Perhaps it is a case of him not being able to get back on his belly and resettle. Or maybe he flips over when he wakes up and just decides to call for me help to get back to sleep. Probably more of the later. I am so thrilled that Nathan has responded so well to everything for you. I don't know what I am going to do from here. Maybe I will have to try something new. What position does Nathan sleep in? On his side? Does he roll from front to back easily? I like the pic of him in his high chair. Hey, did yo know that it said to be the same thing for adults. That if they try a new food 10 times they will aquire a taste for it. It worked for me with beer :)
from untamedwings :
Ahhh he is ready :) I think most babies will strongly prefer real food to baby stuff. Maya I tried the jarred stuff & when I had Em I realized there was a lot she could have without the mushy textured jar stuff. I think I only bought Em two jars ever. Bridget, not a single one. Transitioning to table food is a godsend when you can do it :)
from thaichic :
My brother actually introduced the milk sign to Aidan after seeing Meet the Fockers in the theater, which was what a few months ago? Anyway now my mother gives him that sign while bringing his bottle to him. I don't know if he knows exactly what it means, but in the beginning he would just stare at our hands, now he stares and kicks his legs or opens his mouth. It's very cute. I do it too while opening my bra. A friend of mine who owns a daycare teaches her kids including the infants sign language. She's amazing and I hope to get Aidan in her care this fall. She says the kids really pick up on the signs fast and it can be very useful. Anyway I'm so happy for you and Nathan. I know Aidan and I will eventually get to that point, probably not anytime soon, but we'll get there. Thanks so much for your support.
from frogmom :
Hey Julie I had emergency surgery on friday the 13th (of May) to have my gullbladder removed because it was packed full of stones. If you go back to umm like may 14 or 15 there is an entry about it.
from frogmom :
when is your anniversary? Ours is November 15th
from frogmom :
Thank you :)
from camham :
Hey there, Julie. I know what you mean about those late afternoon naps. Camden went to bed again last night at 6:30 because for the second day in a row he just WOULD NOT go to sleep for that nap and I couldn't just keep trying for fear that when he did fall asleep it might interfer with his bedtime. Whatever is a mom to do? One thing I do know is that I am so not interested in making him cry ANYMORE! All it does is make us both upset. I have decided that when he does not go to sleep willingly in his crib and has been crying those sad cries, I am going to take him back in bed with me. I may be making the wrong decision here, but my main concern and goal is to get him accustomed to the bedtime routine and that has been going perfectly. It is just those night wakings that are driving me crazy. I simply can not sleep knowing that he is awake and upset and we can both be sleeping in my bed. 9 times out of 10 I end up transferring him back into his bed anyway, so what's the big deal. I just always have this hope when I get up and nurse him in the chair that the transition back into his bed will be easy (and sometimes it is). What happens is, I sometimes try to put him down during the night because he does so good at it at bedtime and then on the occasion that he just doesn't want any of it, I keep trying and it just ends up getting me frustrated and more tired and him too and that isn't fair. Plus, this is going to sound wierd, but Camden has ALWAYS had terrible gas and on these particular nights when he is upset, he cries and has gas at the same time. So I know that it is not just about going to bed by himself. Maybe his baby belly is still developing and getting used to foods and such. I am so glad to hear that Nathan is sleeping in such long stretches at night for you! Yea hoo, Nathan! On this same note, perhaps if I can get Cam to master that afternoon nap again it might make a difference. Who knows! My main concern was and is still just making sure that he can get this "going to bed now" thing down and fall asleep at this time by himself. Once we have got that down, perhaps I will work harder at the night-wakings, but then again maybe that will work itself out as he matures a bit more.I do suspect however that he is a habitual waker and that I may have to help him break the habit when I am ready. I'll definitely let you know how it goes. As for now, I will just have to be happy with the great naps he has been taking in his crib (usually after a quick nurse) and the fact that he is going to bed without nursing and very happily! Oh, and I know what you mean about making it look like you have been slaving away all day! I clean a lot to. Heaven forbid the house not look like I had done some work on it!
from frogmom :
LOL!! I love the last picture!
from camham :
Oh, man, he is funny! He looks like such a man. Is that drool I see? :)
from camham :
Hey there Julie. I am so gald to hear that things were good last night when James went in. I tried to get Ryan to help Cam beack to sleep last night, or rather early this morning around 4, but he was not having it. I have decided that he has developed a habitual wake in the night schedule. He wakes every night at just about the same times. 10, 1, 4. Every 3 hours. And he can not be resettled without nursing. The pu/pd method that I am using suggests doing this during the night too, but that is THE HARDEST time for me to bare letting him cry and not helping him get back to sleep as soon as possible. I know in my heart that I just need to do it and that each night it will get better until eventually he learns to just sleep through. The other recommendation I found was to actually set my clock and wake him up an hour before he is "scheduled" to wake and give him the paci and get him back off to sleep. This way I can break his habit, but would I be starting a new one? Perhaps not if he is not fully awakened and immediately soothed back to sleep with the pacifier and not needing me to nurse him and can remain laying in his bed. Again, such a hard time to do anything, but you know. Man, Nathan is doing so good! I am so impressed. Cam has almost gotten to the point where I can lay him down and pat his back and "shhh" or jsut pat and he stays on his belly and can sleep. He skipped his afternoon nap yesterday too, although not for lack of trying. I think I just missed the window and he was overstimulated (we took a long walk with daddy and our jumping dog) and he was unable to settle down. It happens, you know? As far as the milk goes, I was able to pump enough. Barely. I know I really should pump after he eats and in the morning, but I just hate that blasted pump so much. Not to mention, I think it affects my let-down and nothing happens which frustrates me even more. Oh, byt the way, I don't think I ever answered your question about diapers. Yes, in the beginning we used cloth diapers part time, but my mom started to bring us over a bag of HUggies each week. They didn't ever leak and of course were free, so...that is what we use now. I would love to be able to afford to purchase another stash of cloth diapers and have even considering changing over when he a bit older (I understand it can help in potty training), but who knows. The laundry was a pain and it always concerned me when I would feel how absolutely wet his skin was after he had been in one for the night or just a bit long. The main thing that I am finding hard to do with Cam's sleep routine is be consistent. I sometimes just cave in and nurse him (which I know is awful because then it means he has cried for nothing) because I feel so bad. Hey...he has been napping now for 1 and 1/2 hours in his crib after I nursed him to sleep. He was very cranky because he woke at 7:30 and only took a 1/2 hour nap at 10:30. I then fed him some pears and a little rice. He loves to eat and just lay down with him in bed and let him nurse. He had a hard time relaxing, but as you can see..he was obviously over tired because he is still passed out! Plus, things are nice and quiet around here today. The rain, sleeping dogs, and daddy is back at work. Thanks for checking in and I just love hearing from you. Oh, and poor Jen! I feel for her! I saw you left a message and I did to. I think Aidan is nursing more at night because he is not with her during the day. Just a hunch.I shall talk to you soon. Thanks also for the help on linking people in my diary!!! Heather
from camham :
Julie, don't worry about the bump in the road. Remember what you said to me...this too shall pass. He may be overwhelmed with a new task that he has been working on. Has he recently started sitting longer, eating something with a new texture, or just doing something different with his hands? Any of these things could contribute to a bump. As long as YOU stay consistent in your approach, but again...not too rigid (as we have to be flexible sometimes), you know, everything will work itself out. You know that. I don't need to tell you. Anyhow, I hope that things are going better today and he is getting the ZZZZZ's he needs to keep him all smiley throughout the day for you. Cam is down for his first nap today. We had a rough night for sleep last night so I predict he should sleep well today. Ryan pointed out that he thought Cam slept pretty crappy because of all the sugar I consumed yesterday. He may just have a point there. I never thought of it, but I guess it would have just the same effect as caffeine (which I had too much of also). It was a rainy day and I was stuck inside, what else can I say?:)I am going to have to work harder on my diet (or lack thereof). How is everything else for you? How is James? You've been in my thoughts. Heather
from frogmom :
oh I see, like a sun room, right?
from frogmom :
what a little cutie pie! Ok I have heard the term florida room, but what is it? LOL
from frogmom :
Hey Julie, Actually I have been trying for quite some time almost a 1 and a half years now, I just decided to put my ticker back up. What made me decided the time was right? Hmmm, well I dunno really. I have always wanted my kids rather close in age. Makayla and Madison are 25 months apart. Plus I really would like a little boy but I would be totally happy with another little girl. As with Madison getting older and it beig easier, nope, well yeah she is easeier now that she is 21 months old. But she has always been a calm easy baby, good sleeper, eater, very calm, ect. Mostly I am going with the flow. I quit taking birth control in feb of 04 so we are just waiting.
from camham :
Hey Julie! Sorry I thought I had finished that one note to you, but now I see that I got interrupted by Mr.C! Yes, everything you said was exactly what I needed to hear! I was second guessing myself and Cam's ability to sleep on his own. Thank you for reminding me that this process is not going to produce the results that I may think are the right ones, right away. Thank you for reminding me that I need to be flexible and possibly go back to sleeping however we need to for awhile and then try again. I had never even considered that, but it made perfect sense. Fortunately I have not had to do that. We are doing okay in the area of sleep. No more 1am-3am hang out sessions. He has been going back down after each waking very well. No problems. I still let him nurse before bed, but not to sleep and in another room with the TV and lights on. Then when I see him getting calm and sleepy, I pick him up and start patting and "shhhh" and transfer him to his bed. Last night was the hardest. He cried a lot, but did not flip over on his back or get MAD. Tonight he went right down and did the same for all of his naps today, crying only briefly for a while before his afternoon nap. He is in bed now. We went in the pool this evening with my mom and he had so much fun. How was your weekend? I can't wait to hear how Nathan is and how things are going your way. Has James put Nathan to bed yet? Ryan is home with Cam tomorrow night and I hope it goes well. Anyhow, again Thank you for the encouragement. We are back on track and I have come to terms with the fact that there will be setbacks.
from camham :
Julie, I noticed you have learned how to link people/other diarylanders in your entries. How?! I have tried, but no luck. I love to give credit where credit is due. Please let me know if you get a chance.
from frogmom :
LOL! I get that A LOT! My little brother is 11. Makayla is doing a bit better today!
from frogmom :
Hey Julie! Thank you for the comments on my picture taking ability! LOL I neevr think they are that great! I guess its mostly because I can hardly get the girls to sit still long enough for a picture! LOL The reunion would have been a whole lot better if Makayla wasnt sick! :( More about that in my diary real soon!
from untamedwings :
:D
from untamedwings :
Great picture of him in the exersaucer! You know what? You're finding your way. You can read & ask for tons of advice but in the end you find your own way. Happy smiles on little faces speak volumes.
from camham :
I love that picture. Isn't it amazing how much babies love the outdoors. I agree with you and James. There is usually always a way to make it work to where the mother can raise her child at home. I feel really lucky that we have done that. And we have had to downsize on our spending quite a bit. It is so worth it! Anyhow, great job on the sleep issues. Way to go. We are still hangin gin there. Have to go, Cam is hollering for me!
from camham :
I will hang in there! Thank you. Tonight I tried to put him down at 7, but he was very wide-eyed. Possibly due to the later nap he had today. So, instead of frustrating myself and him, I took him out to the TV room and let him play with his toys for about 25 minuts. Then I tried again, nursed him and sang along with his bedtime CD. He was out in 5 minutes and then I just layed him down in his bed. Very easy. He scooched a little bit, but didn't protest. I agree with you, he is CLEVER! I can't wait to hear your thoughts! Heather
from frogmom :
how cute! I am glad hes starting to sleep better for you!
from camham :
I started writing you a long note here, but decided to post it in an entry. So, when you read my entry, just know it was meant for you!
from camham :
Yay, Nathan and Julie! I am so happy for you. I know what a great feeling you must have that youhave been able to do this. What an awesome feeling. Your right, the Lord does help. I may have to start being a bit firmer in the crying department because his night wakings are still an issue. It is so hard though, you know! I'll, of course, have to ask you for some support. Oh, I know I have to answer some things in the last note you wrote me, but I haven't the time right now. I will later I promise! Heather
from mamabean :
what a cutie boy! glad he is continuing to surprise you with his ability to learn this skill! have a wonderful day!
from thaichic :
Such cute pictures! Those peas! I can't wait for Aidan to start eating solids. It should be interesting. As for Aidan's ictures; I do have a favorite and it's not one of the ones I've put up. My favorite is on order and when I get it I will be sure to put it up. It's him looking in the mirror on his belly. He's actually not sitting up on his own in the pics. I had to get under the backgrounds and hold him, haha. It was hot under there. Aidan slept like crap last night. I'm so tieed and so aggravated again. Just when he does so good, he gets his way and sleeps with momma.
from frogmom :
Makayla will be gone til 1am on Friday. You would think Madison would love the alone time, but no poor thing misses her sister. She acting bratty too. I guess her way of acting out?
from camham :
Hey, Julie. Yep, I made a stupid mistake and went playing with my template BEFORE saving all the little bells and whistles that I had added to it, so... that is what I am working on at the moment. I was getting a bit tired of the orange. It isn't really me, but at the time seemed striking. I wish that I has the know how to make it really personalized, but I just don't know that much about computers or have enough free time to practice. Camden is down for bed now. Second night in a row that he has gone to bed at 6:30. He wakes from his afternoon nap anywhere from 2:30-3:30, depending on when he fell asleep (usually with me) and I just can't figure out how to fit another nap in there before bed, so...early bedtime it is. I took him outside and let him swing for awhile and then gave him his bath. He was pretty cranky and I was trying to push out enough time to at least get him in bed as close to 7 as possible. I think I jinxed myself because last night Cam woke at 1 and stayed up chatting till 3:30. Not fun! I felt myself losing my patience and it made me mad to think that I just can't take things as they come some times. I tried to let him nurse down, but after he had eaten he just kept "flutter" sucking and that really is uncomfortable after a long time. That reminded me of when he was first born and he needed to do that a lot, which would drive me crazy! I would have enlisted Ryan's help, but he had work this morning and I knew I would get to sleep in. Camden did fall asleep next to me in my bed, just lying on his back, he finally ran out of gas, which I always find really cute. But, I had to move him and he woke up. He did eventually get back to sleep and slept in till his usual time, 7:00. At least his bedtimes and wake times are predictable, its just the stuff in between that I have to wonder about. By the way, he has a bit of a rash. I wonder if it is the sweet potatoes. It doesn't seem to be bothering him, but it bothers me tremendously! Now I wonder if I did the right thing, starting him on solids. Makes me feel like a bad mommy. Like I am not protecting him. Crazy, I know. Could it be the rice, or the jarred baby food? Funny, cause you had asked me if he had sensitive skin and I didn't really think so. Maybe it is new laundry detergent. I have switched back to the plain kind and will skip the sweet potatoes for a week. See if that helps. Any thoughts? Sounds like Nathan is enjoying his food. Do you find a decrease in your milk supply? I have noticed it seems to be for me. I only pumped 2 ounces during break last night at class, usually it is 4. Wierd, huh? Scarey. I hope it doesn't go away. Do we have to feed them solids everyday now that we have started? Guess theres no turning back to little baby days. Forward on from here :) :(?
from thaichic :
Hey woman! Stats exam? Belch! That's all I'll say about that! I wanted to take it on Friday and study for it at work on Friday, but I decided to wing it and take it on Thursday. Yeah! Big mistake. I didn't know the chapter whatsoever. I'm pretty good in Math so studying a chapter right before isn't a problem for me. But not studying at all??? Yikes. Anyway I don't know what I made; haven't gotten my grade back yet.-Aidan and I traveled to Valdosta GA. It was a 4 and a half hour trip for us because of the stops. I didn't mind. GA is so full of beauty. So many beautiful homes and lush nature. I took the Hwy 90E so I could stay near towns in case I needed to pull over quickly. I hate I10. As for the percentile ordeal.. I have no idea what that is or how it works. Do you?
from underthegaze :
Thanks for your note! I'm still debating whether or not I want to keep a diary here as I ran into trouble with my last one - someone in *real life* found it and it caused an uproar! So I thought I might just keep a new one in code but most times it seems like too much work! So I may update only short messages but I still read every single diary on my buddy list! Jennifer
from untamedwings :
As for baby food, I really started with cereals and veggies. Rice cereal with a green veggie mixed in.Let them taste vegetables before the sweet fruits. I really avoided jar food as much as possible. Once they have a single tooth it was table food, maybe blended, but never the jar stuff. Once he is used to gumming stuff scrambled eggs are great for them.Mashed potatos, cheerios, tiny bits of cheese, jar green veggies until they have teeth. Boiled carrots that can be mushed. Ramen noodles. Once there's a few teeth I'd dice up teeny tiny cucumbers and tomatos, bits of chicken, turkey, ground beef. Cereals are the best to start though because it helps shift digestion over to breaking down solids. Plus you'll get an idea of how his body may react & if his diapers will change. If cereal constipates add a bit of peaches or a green veggie to it for sure. If he gets runny diapers from cereal alone then add something a bit bulky. Trial by fire :)
from untamedwings :
Oh wow he does look like James! I wouldn't worry about him falling asleep while nursing unless its a problem for YOU. It might be a comfort thing more than a hunger thing at that point.
from thaichic :
Hye Julie, sounds like you are doing so well! I had to read back a few entries to get caught up. I'm so happy for you and Heather. I get so motivated to help Aidan with his sleep when I read the both of you. Take care-Jen
from camham :
Oh my goodness. They look alike, don't they? Nathan is serious, just like Camden (and his dad). I don't think you should worry about Nathan falling asleep at the breast before bed. This is a great way to soothe him before ned. A natural way. I think so anyway. It obviously has not interferred with his sleep. The research I have found does not indicate that this is a bad habit, but when he was waking 10-12 times, nursing a bit and then falling back asleep. Then that wasn't so great. Julie, relish those sweet moments before you put him down. I know I sure do. I know that he is not "dead asleep" when I put him in his crib, just asleep. I bet that Nathan is aware that you are putting him down, but is just so relaxed, filled with warm milky milk, mother's love, and sweet feelings when he is placed in his own bed. Could you have done that before and he would have slept? I know with Cam it wasn't even possible, no matter how asleep he was, he would wake up 10 minutes later. Just think, they will give up these night nursings on their own and it will be all too soon. You had a lot of stuff for me to respond to. I had to wait till I had a minute. About the baby food. I have heard that a food processor works good and yes, you should cook the food (and/or steam it) before giving it to them. I plan to do this with some fruits (I'm trying avocado tomorrow per Dr. Sears) and maybe meats if I decide to do some on my own. I wonder if the meats in the baby foods have the nitrates, etc. like they caution about prepackaged meats. I don't even know how I feel about giving Cam meats this early. Maybe aat 10 months? I have given him sweet potatoes (HE LOVES) and just started giving him some applesauce this week. I also bought real bananas to mush for him. He doesn't like the kind in the baby jar. I was feeding him half a jar, now he eats a whole one. I mix "dinner" with a bit of rice cereal, but leave "breakfast/brunch" of applesauce plain. My cousin told me that the breastfeeding would become very supplemental to real food and I can see how it will. It is sad in a way and scarey. I have spent so much time making sure my supply stays up for his food and now that it will be going down naturally as he needs it less (especially since he is not eating so much at night anymore) I find it wierd and sad. I hope out nursing relationship continues for a long time to come. I have no limits to that (well...maybe past 2...?), especially at bedtime...just not during the night! I have thought that Ryan needs to put Cam down. My book suggests that mommy nurse baby till he is sleepy then pass to daddy for additional soothing and put to bed. I think you may be on to something with Nathan needing to go to bed a bit earlier. How are his moods in the evening? He seems to be going down fine and staying down. If I were you, I would really think hard about whether it is important to you to give up his night/bedtime nursing right now. It really doesn't sound like a problem and you both enjoy it so much! My mom babysat Cam tonight and had no problem putting him to bed. He was super tired and went down at 6:30. His bedtime usually depends on what type of nap he gets in the afternoon and what time it lasts till, etc. The other thing too is, I don't mind putting Cam down if Ryan is getting up with him in the morning. It is a nice trade. I love our nighttime routine. Think of how many babies go to bed after a big bottle or heaven forbid, go to bed with a bottle! Let's see, I forget what else..oh, discipline. I agree with you that both parents have to present a united front. I think that Ryan will naturally look to me for techniques in discipline because he was raised with a firmer hand and I was not. He also knows that I have done much research on the subject and will have a hard time justifying some of his ideas. For instance, I have seen the benefit of time out (when done appropriately and consistently) and that concept is foreign to him. He was always spanked or whatever. There are other things too, but I think that we will balance each other out well .Where he will probably tend to be firmer, I may be more lenient. It will hopefully be a good combo. Not too strict and not too permissive. I also have a theory that I am not Camden's boss, but rather his guide through life. I want him to be his own person and respect me, but I don't want him to think I am trying to control him. Does that make sense? I should get off to bed now. I fed Cam at 10:30 while he was still sleeping. My book calls it a "dreamfeed" and I thought I would see if it makes a difference. He didn't even really wake up which was the point and I needed to "unload" one side. How crude! Have a great night. Kiss that baby!
from untamedwings :
That's kind of how I see it now. I can't help the feelings but I do choose what I do with them.Hubby & I were seperated & heading for a fast divorce before my feelings for A. shifted. I never thought my marriage was fixable & I certainly didn't anticipate my husband winning me back. I love him more now than I ever have. Yet the other feelings linger.I'm fortunate to be surrounded by the huge amount of love that I am & it makes the guilt about those lingering feelings multiply...Desperate Housewives...I liked Rex & I really was rooting for he & Bree to somehow fix it. I saw hope there so that was sad.
from camham :
Man, that boy looks so cute. He has the most mature face. I can see your husband in him a lot. Glad to hear that you are having good luck putting him back in his crib at night and more time between wakings. Same here. I have started doing something else. I was nursinghim back to sleep in the rocker and then putting him down in his bed, but now when he wakes I pick him up and take him in my bed and nurse him to sleep and then put him back in his bed. Pantley had a good point that the length of time during night wakings needs to be as short as possible to discourage them from waking as often. It was taking along time at night sometimes to settle him back again when he woke. I was awake anyway,so I figured we may both be as comfortable as we can if he is going to be awake. I am careful not to go back to sleep thought because I do not want him to get in the habit of "sleeping" with me. I love that he is sleeping so well in his bed!!!! Having him in there has also made it easier to predict his wakings. He wakes at 10:30, 1:30 and 4:30. It is interesting. Before when he was in bed with me, it was harder to track, although I know it was much more often. Last night was the first night I nursed him back to sleep in bed when he woke and it was really great. He was never up (and neither was I) for maore than a half hour. Before when I was in the rocker trying to get him back to sleep, it might take an hour. No monster poos last night either. Another good thing is that his wake time is more predictable. Ryan has stepped up to the plate in this department so I can get an extra hour to myself before getting up. Ryan gets him out of bed at 7 and hangs with him until I mosey out around 7:30 or 8. Camden doesn't seem too hungry when he first wakes and seems content not eating a meal right when he wakes up. That's all thats new today. Oh, how is Nathan in the car these days? I find that Camden has been able to put himself to sleep in his car seat all the time. He hasn't had a bad car day in a long time. Have you noticed a difference or was Nathan always good in the car? Your entertainment center looks like a real job, but it is going to be SOOO nice when you get it all together. Heather
from mamabean :
i was happy to read this entry and hear things are going so well for our sweet boy! (and our Julie, too!) Keep up the great work, both of you. Congrats on the easy cereal introduction... wait'll he tries food with actual taste! You think he's cute now! See how much more lovable he is with pureed butternut squash in his eyelashes! :) Got your email and all is well here... we had a friends here all day Saturday and Saturday evening, then headed south on 75 to Vienna (you probably go right by it on your way to Kennesaw from home) to see Grandma and Grandpa. That's a 2 1/2 hour drive both ways, so busy again today! Going to take a hot bath now. Hugs and kisses to you and Natey McNate... will respond to your email tomorrow! PS Alex says hi and blows a kiss to Nathan.
from camham :
I was happy to hear back from you. I am glad that things are working for you. I know that it is hard to let your baby cry, but it sounds like you do what I do. I don't let Camden get to the red-face, tears either...except when he is fighting it so hard and I am super frustrated and just need to walk away. I do notice he calms down quicker when I leave the room between intervals of comfort. Have you noticed this also with Nathan? We seem to have setback some nights too where he is easier to put down than others. I have been trying to figure out why and then I thought back to the first night that I tried this and remembered that I didn't nurse him before bed. He slept great that night. I agree with you when you say that at this age our abies are mature enough to not need our response to every cry. I think that they have also learned how to communicate better with us so that they don't need to cry as much for what they want. When I mention that I have a hard time with not responding to a baby's cries, I mean when they REALLY cry. Like, you just know when they are in a CRYING state and it is just making them so upset. I am like you, I wait till Camden "fusses" a lot and then I plan to comfort if it seems to escalate. He sometimes does CRY, like today ant nap time, and I just have to ABORT the mission because he will not calm down. Even with nursing. I agree that this Aaborting of the mission is easier done at naptimes, but bedtimes, luckily has been not as bad. He seems to know when it is time to go down for night. Thank goodness we don;t have babies that want to get up and play at night, just eat, or suck. That would be really frustrating, huh? Last night he went down at 7:30, woke at 10:45 and 1:15, then again at 4:30. The earlier in the morning that he wakes the harder is is to get him back to bed someitmes He did settle back down wround 5:00, but then had a major poop (WHY OH WHY---always at night?), which I cleaned up. Then I was so tired I took him in bed with me and he fell asleep afetr about 10 minutes. Then I put him back in his crib, fully expecting to have him wake me up an hour (or sooner) later, but he slept till 8:00. So, I know that him sleeping in his crb really does let hm sleep better and when he is next tome he just wakes off and on and nurses. I sometimes still do this for the second half (he always wakes in an hour)of his afternoon nap so he can get a great rest in (and me too, depending on how tired I am) before the evening creeps up on us. I agree that people have been letting babies cry it out for centuries in our culture. I respect any decision any family needs to make in regards to what works for them. I hope you know that. Don't you dread the cries that come when they know how they affect us? The whining cries, the temper tantrum cries? I am such a softy. I hope I can ignore these type of manipulative cries when they start to happen. I haven't even really thought about discipline. I suppose this type of sleep training can be viewed as discipline, but not punishment. I am so glad that you are getting better sleep and so is Nathan. He sounds like he has been benefiting greatly in his moods and such! That is the goal! I am AMAZED also that he has gone from waking so often (4 or 5 times?) to only once in the night. Beautiful! Do you hear him wake and fuss, or does he sleep straight through? Considering that Nathan is one month older than Cam, I wonder if that is a factor? Maybe I can expect Cam to wake less often also as time goes on. I am still so impressed that our boys are relaxing in their own beds! We have done so well and I think we are doing just about the same things. Has James tried to put him down at night or for naps? Ryan just couldn't do it. I don't think Cam sees Ryan enough and so he gets more excited when he is with him, makes it harder to relax. He wants to hang out with daddy, you know? What's it like your way and what are your thoughts here? Heather
from frogmom :
the sunset pic is beautiful!!
from camham :
Hey, Julie, I miss our chats too. I am so glad to hear that everything is going well in all areas, especially sleep. I hope you haven't had to let him cry for too long. I had some opionions about the good doc's advice, but I kept them to myself. I find it hard to believe that they can tell us with certainty that our children do not feel abandoned, scared, or left alone to fend without us. After all, the only emotions that children this young have are basic need emotions, including the need for comfort. I could never (I'm sure you couldn't either) leave Camden to cry for 2 hours. I agree a small amount of time may not hurt them in a visible way, but along with teaching them to fall alseep (perhaps from exhaustion) it does also teach them that we aren't going to respond to their cries (even if it is only at certain times). I hope you don't think I am saying that what you are working on with Nathan is wrong in my opinion. I know that you have the same feelings as I do about letting him cry. I just have such a hard time with doctors (mine said it too) saying that leaving a baby to cry for such a long time is not going to hurt them (psychologically). How would they know? I will always answer my babies cries, especially this young. His comprehension is not that of a one year old, who certainly HAS learned to cry in manipulation and can be left to cry-it-out much more easily. Like, last night, Camden woke up three times. Each time, he seemed really hard to settle and had gas. I just knew he wasn't hungry, but WAS very tired, and just couldn't relax. When I held him he just wanted to nurse. This is something that he often needs to do when he has gas. I gave him some gas drops and immediately he started to have gas. It made me realize that the only way for him to communicate with me that he needs me is by crying. I think that I was the same as you and held him all the time while he slept. When I consider this, I remember that he has slept this way for the past 5 months and that learning to sleep a different way could very well take that long also. I am in no hurry. Each day he accepts his bed better and better and even though it feels like we have setbacks, I think they are more like times when he needs me more than others. Well, I am rambling! By the way, I am not sure what you mean on the guestbook. I went to check it out and the entry you left looks great! Thank you by the way for dropping in. Did you mean the lettering on your website address and name? I don't mind getting notes here too. Sometimes I think this is far more personal because not everyone thinks to use it or read what other people have written. Have you been keeping Nathan in his bed all night? Do you let him cry if he wakes up in the night? I am hoping to eliminate the early night feed this next week by replacing it with a pacifier or just holding him till he settles. He has still been sleeping very well. Down at 7:00, wakes sometimes at 11, then at around 3 or 4 and up at 7am. Then he naps at 9or 10, again around 12:30 OR 1 and again at 4:30 or 5 maybe for about 30min. Well, I got to jet. Take care of you and baby!
from thaichic :
16 pounds! Aidan weighed that a month ago and he's not even four months yet! OMG! He's going on a diet right now dang it! :)
from frogmom :
I did this with my daughters sort of, it wasnt too bad except the first night. But I made the horrid mistake of letting them take a bottle to bed...
from untamedwings :
It sounds like you really have a great ped. The sleep is a case of you knowing what he needs while he just doesn't. I always did the check in every 10 minutes thing. Always listened to be sure they were breathing ok, hadn't gotten sick, etc. It feels cruel but really it's not. A year from now your days will be full of setting boundries & using words like "stop...don't touch..." It's just harder with a small baby. It will become normal to both of you soon enough though. First kids are just so hard because everything is trial by fire & no decision feels exactly right. That is normal. You're trying to do everything exactly right & that causes inner conflict. You are doing a great job with Nathan & you should be proud of yourself. People are quick to criticise & we all know exactly what type of parent we'll be- until we have that first child. Then ideas shift, boundries slide & things that were once clear are now fuzzy. Someone will always be quick to tell you every single thing you're doing wrong as a mother (it's usually a stranger like old lady out shopping with her white hair, fuschia lipstick & stern glare- at least that's my experience) & honestly, this time next year you really won't care. Your feet will be under you & you'll trust your instincts a lot more.
from blondeness :
I can relate, because my little guy is VERY determined too, and I can't help but think it kind of cute and it's hard not to laugh, because I know that encourages him. My husband says to him, "You may be determined, but you forget, you get that from *me*, so I'm gonna win!" Ha, ha!
from camham :
Julie, don't give up. Remember that you have had several setbacks this week in your routine. Babies need consistency in their rituals in order for them to stick. Check out my analogy I used for puppy training. Repetition, repetition, repetition. So far things have been great for Cam in his bed. Only waking twice at night and settling pretty much on his own. I can tell you that leaving Camden alone, awake, in his crib to cry-it out was not what would work for either one of us. It just goes against my gut instinct. I have stuck true (even in the early morning waking) to the techniques suggested by Tracy Hogg in her book (I know, I keep mentioning it, but IT HAS BEEN THE BEST BOOK I HAVE FOUND). I soothe Camden for as long as he needs for him to get sleepy at bedtime (nursing, rocking, reading, humming (this is our new favorite)) and then I put him on my shoulder and place him on his belly for sleep. It was frustrating at first. She points out in her book that one baby she had to do this with got up 100 times and each time she would place him back down. Each night gets better. They learn that falling asleep on your shoulder or at your breast is not what is going to happen. Camden has learned and is still learning (there have been some inconsistencies in our routine as we have been learning what times work for him, and with barking dogs and noisy neighbors) that he is able to fall asleep on the mattress. The first night was by far the worst. But he fell asleep after I picked him up each time he cried, consoled him till he was calm, and put him back down when he had calmed about 7 or 8 times. The second night, 5-6 times, and by night three, only 2 times. Now, he hardly fusses when I put him down. It has been really amazing. I have also done a couple of other things different. I am very protective of his naptimes, feed him a meal (sweet potatoes and rice cereal) one hour before bed, and have moved his betime up an hour to 7:00pm. I have, as you know, purchased and obsessed over this issue through many books and online searches and as I have seen the techniques I am using work I am certain that the predictability of sleep habits in children is very accurate. What IS hard is changing your lifestyle to protect these times and also finding the perserverance (especially in your lack-of-sleep trance) to stick with it...all night long! I am still here for support. Let me know if you need anything!
from untamedwings :
The uncertainty will always be there. It's so hard to really ever know exactly what is right for your child. All you can do is the very best that you can in the moment. Is it too soon or too early to take a hardline about sleep, most peds will say no & tell you to stick it out. Hugs.
from thaichic :
You sound like me. I'm so torn on what to do and how to help Aidan. Last night I almost gave up and brought him to bed but I thought about you and Heather and I told myself I was going to keep him in his crib. I'm glad I did. He only slept for three hours, but it was three hours in HIS bed. Things are getting better and they will for you too. I can't believe you only live 45 minutes from me. We should have lunch one weekend. Have a great weekend!
from frogmom :
my daughter is and always has been quite strong willed! It can be her good trait and bad! LOL Your little man is a doll!
from blondeness :
I found you through untamedwing's journal and enjoyed reading each and every one of your entries. I am a new Mom too. My little man is almost 20 months old though. I also have an almost 9 year old stepdaughter part-time and both are learning experiences in Motherhood for me. I'm going to add you to my favorites. Oh! And I LOVE the photos! The bath one was so precious!!:)
from frogmom :
Hes so cute!!
from thaichic :
Happy birthday Nathan! Hey lady. Sounds like everything is working great. It is hard I know. Aidan slept in his crib last night (woohoo) and when he woke brought him to bed to calm him. I couldn't put him back. This is really hard for me because I don't get to see him all day! I miss my little man.
from camham :
Happy six months, Nathan. Camden is not far behind! He just celebrated five months on Sunday! Julie, you are doing so good and don't worry about bringing him in bed withyou. Don't feel guilty. You are keeping your focus on the right thing (establishing his concept of HIS bed and YOUR bed!). There will always be moments, up to when he is, well, maybe always, when he will crawl in your bed to be with you. Under the covers to sleep or just to sit and chat with you! I agree, I held Camden a lot more than mayeb I should have, but it was what he needed at the time. It was what we both needed. I had such a hard time adjusting to motherhood. The birth experience I had was a nightmare and everything was so overwhelming. I am convinced that, in the early months, up till now, we both needed each other very much for comfort. It helped me bond to him and know what he needs. Now I know what he needs even before he asks for it. I think that this sleep training may have been harded to do back then, for both our boys. I think they are much more aware that this is good for them now and that we wtill always be there for them. Nathan is adorable. I see you in him.
from untamedwings :
See, he was ready he just didn't know it :) Happy 6 months! The next 6 will be even better I'll bet. I always love the last half of the first year. So much fun yet they can't get away from you yet :)
from camham :
How are things going? Good, I hope. I have been eagerly waiting to here how the progress has been. Camden has slept better in the past two nights than he ever has! I, on the other hand, have not, but this has been great. Last night he woke up twice and had an earlier bedtime at 7:00pm. The first time he woke up at 11:00 and I nursed him then put him in his crib, no crying, just resisting to be put on his belly. So I kept picking him up and putting him down. the he woke again at 4:30 and ate and went down much easier. I really had to resist the temptation to bring him in bed with me. I wanted to see how long he would sleep in. He stirred around 5:30, but kept sleeping. He slept in till 7:00! So, now we are working on our second nap today. Yesterdays afternoon nap lasted almost 3 hours! He gets pooped out with our new routine I think. Especially since he is tired to begin with. I can already see that he is learngin to put himself to sleep though because last night at 5:30 when he stirred I looked at him and his eyes were open and closing. The he fell back to sleep. I can't wait till he gets this down pat and I can start to sleep better too!! Now, I'm addicted!
from camham :
I love the photos. The one with him in the collar shirt is too cute. He looks so mature. Just like a man. I'm glad you had a great day with family. Priceless.
from camham :
It only took 25 minutes to get him down tonight. He used the pacifier briefly, but I think he is getting the message that I am not going to nurse with him to sleep. Also, I put him down an hour earlier tonight because I noticed he had been getting tired earlier and was taking a brief nap in the evenings, so I pushed his bedtime back to where it was before the time change. The dark curtains in his bedroom really make a difference. It was pretty awesome for him to fall alseep after only 25 minutes of fighting it. I only hope that he sleeps as well tonight for me. Do you have any sad feelings about getting Nathan to do this? Leaving the nurse in bed to sleep routine behind? I know I sure do. I guess that will pass and we can still share our moments. Like today, he was actually sitting on the couch, nursing sideways. I thought I woudl try something different. Call me crazy, but I actually look forward to a little walk-about nursing from mommy and when he can say something for eat. Heather
from untamedwings :
I'm in Pennsylvania. You can get them in any state though. Call a local nursery & ask about them. They're called Daisy trees/shrubs depending on the place selling them. If you're hanging onto you, you're 5 steps ahead of most first time moms. Seriously. Most of us hit the end of the first year & don't recognize ourselves anymore. It's great to recognize yourself getting lost a bit as early as possible. Hugs.
from untamedwings :
TY for the notes! My current camera is a very cheap little digital one from Radio Shack. I got it 6 months ago because it's flat & I can take it everywhere easily. I'm surprised at how well it works though. TY for the compliments on my pics. Photography is a pure passion & one stroll thru my living room would convince you. No canned portraits of the kids. Everything is by me, lots of B&W or Sepia shots...I'm glad you're toughing it out a bit with bedtime now. I say that because toughing it out is inevitable. They never, ever decide bedtime is cool & go willingly at first, no matter the age. It's not easy but it'll be worth it for all 3 of you in another week. The first year of motherhood is so hard. Try to hang onto a piece of YOU in the craziness. It's really easy to lose yourself completely & you still need & deserve some time just to be Julie. Hugs.
from camham :
Julie, I had to ask myself that same question about what my long term goal for Cam's sleep is. I do think that I want him to sleep in his crib and in the other room so that Ryan and I can reestablish our marital bed relationship. I thought of putting him in his crib last night, but I was really sad to. He has never spent any time sleeping in there, just playing or getting dressed. I just couldn't do it to him last night (okay, maybe I couldn't do it to me). I think I am selfish too. I love to look at him in the night and touch him. i suppose I could do that just as easily in his own room, huh? Besides, he is quickly outgrowing his co-sleeper! He will have to be in his crib by the time he is 6 months, or can sit up, or pull himself onto all fours. I think the long stretch you got of sleep last night was cool! Could have been the result of two things...Nathan getting good naps and also learning that he can put himself to sleep. Keep me posted on the night feedings. I am getting to the point where I will have to let him cry. It is a lot of work (especially now that he is getting so curious) to get him to calm down for his naps and focus on sleep even with my help, so... I did give him the pacifier to day and he sucked and sucked, didn't spit it out, but didn't go back to sleep either. He had slept for about 30 minutes around 12:00pm. I have been diligent about putting him down for naps though and I already feel such relief from that. I have free hands and I know that he is getting better sleep without distractions. Your right, I couldn't really leave and let someone else do it. I would have to be here. I am going to have to get Ryan in on things though and plan some of this out. It is easy to tell when Camden is ready for sleep because he has pretty predictable sleepy signs and sleepy times. The hard part is putting him down and letting him cry when I know that he is SOOO tired. You know where I am coming from. I think Nathan is doing such a good job...and you are too! Thanks for keeping me updated. I look forward to it. I am installing some dark curtains for the light in Camdens real bedroom today and have every intention of him using his crib. I am going to resist the urge to put the crib in our room. I thought about this, but decided this would not be the best thing in the long run. He may even start sleeping better being away from me anyway, who knows? Heather
from camham :
Julie, you are doing so well. So, when you put him down for his naps you do it when he is sleepy, but not alsleep, after nursing? Then you let him cry a bit and he has fallen asleep by himself each time, with minimal reassurance? I am taking notes. I have been trying some similar things. I have alwasy been putting him down for naps (no more rocking--which I had to be adamant about today with my mom...I even had to come home so he could be in his bed). I am only putting him down after he has fallen asleep. Seriously though, the nights are gettig really annoying. I have tried not to nurse him each time, but it ends up with him playing in his co-sleeper...wide awake for like two hours (1-3am last night) with me just laying there, listening. Then he gets fussy and the whole time he is yawning, but just NOT SLEEPING. After this I have nursed him and just kept him in bed with me because I am so exhausted. My mom says that maybe I should have some milk pumped and instead of nursing him, give him a bottle, that maybe that will help him get through the nurse-sleep association. I may even try the pacifier again, although he gave it up several weeks ago. I wish the alternative (letting him just cry) wasn't so painful for us both. Well, it sounds like it has started to work for you. I know my pediatrician would tell me to let him cry (he advised me to do this at 4 weeks old). He would tell me to get that baby in his crib and let him cry. As a matter of fact, he told me he has never heard of a baby who had died from crying too much. I'm sure there are many people out there who agree with this. I know it is going to have to be done in one way or another and I am going to have to be strong about it. Maybe I could hire a nanny for a week to do my dirty work. :)
from camham :
Julie, try this link. My cousin sent it to me at just the right time. I was determinged to put Camden in his crib tonight, but it just felt so wrong. I felt really sad and lonely about it. I just have this feeling that he is not ready and can not comprehend me not attending to him. Anyhow, here is the link, hopefully you can copy it and read it. http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/faq.html#sooner
from untamedwings :
The maggot is my mother-in-law. Unfortunately, LOL. Yes, she has EARNED the title.
from camham :
Julie...You are maing progress! I know it. That is awesome. You had an awesome night! Way to go! I am so proud of you. Yes, we were back to sleep when you wrote that. And again, for a nap together at 9:30 till now. I needed it. Keep me posted on how the naps go for you in your house today!
from thaichic :
Okay I wanna join you and Heather's night time chat group! We're all going through the exact same things and it makes me feel so much better about me as a mom. For a long time I would get down on myself and think I was a terrible person and that Aidan hated me. Now I know he couldn't have a better mother. :) I'm civil service. I'm an accountant trainee, but it's government accounting not the traditional CPA stuff unfortunately. I'm considered a trainee until I get my Bachelors. Yeah. Long way off, but at least it's full time and I get great benefits and it's good money, and I just love it because I love working with numbers. Aidan isn't going to daycare until he's at least 7 months. Right now I pay my parents $75-$100 a week to watch him. My mom quit her job to do it because she would be making the same money and she doesn't want Aidan in daycare either. But he will be going before next year I'm sure. Okay I gotta go dang it. Aidan is waking. Have a great weekend Julie. Hope you get some sleep.
from camham :
My night didn't go so hot either. I tried to put him down earlier, around 7:30 and he was sleepy, but every time I went to put him in his bed, he woke. I then tried to let him cry and he cried (fussed) for about 30 minutes and finally I just got tired of the whole process. It didn't seem to be getting any better. He just kept scooching around in bed and getting more irritated. I nursed him at 8:30 again and he fell alseep hard and I put him in his bed. He then woke at around 11:00, but I tried to rock him to sleep, which worked until I put him down. By 11:45, I was so tired and I nursed him, he fell alseep and slept really hard until about 3:00am, when he woke and nursed and didn't want to go back in his bed. Then at 5:00 he decided he wanted to get up. He had a monster poo and now I have him in his crib playing while I try and find activity for this time of the morning, hoping he will wind down soon and we can go back to bed. This sucks!!! I am so ready to spend the night at my moms or something and let Ryan deal. This sucks!!! Whay don't they just sleep? Do you think they really have a suck-sleep association?
from camham :
My plan for night time is that I will probably try to let him cry throughout the 1st part of the eve. If he wakes up and it has been 5+ hours since last feeding, I will feed him. This is just a thought. On the other hand, I like not getting my period and having a well eststablished milk supply. I wonder if giving up these night nursings will change either thing. You did good today. Next time it will be easier. My book says that sometimes you should wait and let them cry when they wake up to see if they can continue the nap (particularly since Nathan still seemed tired when he woke up the 2nd time). Either way, it sounds like you are doing the right thing and trusting your instinct. As well as reclaiming some time back for yourself!!!
from camham :
Sorry, out of order, but one more thing. I have found that if Camden is not in the mood to sleep (indicated by what you wrote in my notes by pulling on and off and just not settling)that it frustrates me even more to stay there and wait for him to sleep. So, I just get up and hang out with him for a half hour or so. Maybe go sit outside in the swing. He is always ready when I try again later. It is hard for you because you seem to be able to tell that Nathan's moods are being affected, so you know something needs to change for his sake too. Camden doesn't get cranky wehn he is overtired, just less interactive. This is just when I know I have to keep things low key until he is ready to sleep again. Good luck and keep me posted. (P.S. My husband has suggested Cam cry-it-out too, but when I tell him he has to take charge of it, he backs down. Interesting,huh?)
from camham :
Julie, you are right. If things are bad for you then something does need to change. I am getting to that point here as well. I just don't have it in me to let him cry for a long time, but that is what everyone seems to recommend. It is hard to compare babies to babies though, so I have to be careful. Some babies have such an easy time falling asleep and adapting when you let them cry, but others really just do not I think. It is always worth a try. What gets it for me is that I know it will not just be once, but many times that I will have to let him cry before any change is made. That will be hard. Ryan and I did try it once and 45 minutes to an hour later, we just had enough. My mother was not a "cry it out" believer and we (my brother and I) co-slept for many, many (I'm embaressed to say how long) years. She would say that we have always been respectful, obediant, and wonderful children and I would say that my bond with her and my dad is stronger than any friendship or other relationship I have had. I do see a dilema when the "family bed" caused friction between husband and wife, but then again I also think this time is so temporary. As you can see, I am torn, just as you are. Maybe we should try it together and get online during the middle of the night cries to console one another:)
from untamedwings :
Ugh this day just keeps getting worse. Seriously, he is in so much trouble! Bo is my fav by a landslide. I think Vehicle is my favorite but his "For the Love of Money" was beyond great the other night. "FarmBot"(Carrie) just looks so uncomfortable in her own skin sometimes doesn't she? Here's a link. You can here ALL of AI audio clips :) http://www.theidolzone.com/downloads.htm#AI4
from thaichic :
This whole crying it out thing is tough on me too. I just can't do it. I find it hilarious that most husbands and fathers suggest this action, considering we're the ones getting no sleep. But whatever. Just remember when he was just a couple of weeks old and you may have thought things would never get better. Aidan has really done a 180 compared to how he was in the beginning. First I was battling him waking every hour, now it's every few hours. So I figure it's just going to keep getting better and better. One time I put Aidan down after falling asleep nursing and went to wash the dishes. He woke a few minutes later and I told myself I wasn't going to pick him up until these dishes were done. He could cry for a couple of minutes and the kitchen would be clean. Well before I was even done he went back to sleep. SO I know he can do it. I know he can calm himself. He knows I'm there in the house with him. We mothers read too much and worry that our babies aren't getting every ounce of our love, but they are. No matter what we decide, we're going to wonder if it was the right choice either way later down the road, so just go with your instincts. And pat yourself on the back for standing up to how you feel about Nathan and his sleeping habits. I know our men love our children, of course, but they have no idea what it's like being a mother and wife. I know how it is being a husband. That's the easiest job it seems.
from untamedwings :
Bo is the man :) Desperate Housewives is just sinfully good too! About sleep (I agree with Megan alot), we all really cater to our first baby. Instinct is to try & fix everything, it all seems necessarily hands on.Setting boundries is very hard & I think setting the first one is hardest, but it comes with the territory.This might help. When my oldest refused to sleep I held her constantly. She'd scream from 3pm-11pm(colic), sleep for 35 minutes & be AWAKE until 5am! That went on for 4 months. I was near tears at the peds at one point & he told me that we all wake several times a night. As adults our sleep gets lighter and we move, roll over, get more comfortable- whatever but we don't fully wake because we're conditioned to soothe ourselves.We learned it as babies and our babies need to be taught it as well.An infant without self-soothing skills hits a light sleep pattern and doesn't know how to comfort themself so they wake looking for you to do it. If Nathan doesn't have a favorite object maybe pick one for him. A stuffed toy or blankie. Always have it nearby. As he plays have it within his reach, take it on walks. A comforting, familiar sight and feel.Blankies are good because your smell gets on them and that might add extra comfort. Two of my kids have blankies and the baby favors a big stuffed puppy. The comfort those things bring! Hugs.
from camham :
Oh, Julie. I really sympathize! I know where you are coming from with the sleep thing. It is so hard. I am am the point where Ryan will need to step in at night if I am to try to wean Cam of his night wakings/nursings. He gets too worked up with me and I know I would cave in. I find it hard to ignore my instinctual response to nurse him if he needs it to calm down. I think he is developmentally ready to sleep through the night (most of it anyway) though and I am willing to start implementing some changes (I think), but I really need Ryan's help so I have to agree on what I am willing to do and how far I am willing to go, you know? One thing at a time. The book I am reading suggests putting babies down for naps at specific natural times that babies tend to be sleepy. Between 9-11am, 12-2pm, and 3-5pm. It also suggests that any sleep for less than 30 min is not optimal sleep.Also,at some point the morning nap will not be necessary (which may be the case with Nathan) and that the afternoon nap is the easiest to predict. I will keep you posted. For me, naptime is not the time to try letting him cry it out. I think that bedtime is more predictable and a good place to start. What frustrates me is that he actually eats at night so I am really torn even though I know he doesn't NEED it. Is Nathan eating yet? Sorry fot eh long post. We should just e-mail:)
from untamedwings :
Whoops, forgot. Who are you pulling for on AI?
from untamedwings :
Oh I know it's frusterating but that face is so sweet, even overtired. Are you struggling more with him not napping or not sleeping overall?
from thaichic :
Okay I know I've said this everytime you've posted a pic of Nathan, HE'S SO GORGEOUS! You have a handsome little guy. We need more sleep. I'm falling asleep in classes.
from untamedwings :
Yep, Em has bright auburn hair.
from untamedwings :
B&W pics are my very favorites. That one of him is wonderful!
from thaichic :
Awww so cute. what a great picture. That one is perfect to blowup and hang in the living room. The more I read moms talk about the same things that our babies do when it comes to sleep just has me realizing that it's natural. They're at a stage where their bodies or their interest in the world has them not sleep very soundly at certain times. Okay maybe that didn't make any sense, but my point is that us mother's are not to blame for their fussiness or their wakings during the night. It's a baby thing, not a parenting thing.
from camham :
Julie, you are doing so good at being a mommy. Your baby is too cute. I agree sleep sounds like it needs a change. I liked Elizabeth Pantley's book, The No Cry Sleep Solution and have found some techniques to be useful. Mainly, I think you should trust your instinct and if you feel something needs to change work on it. By the way, did you have a C-section or "natural"?
from untamedwings :
About naps...babies are all different. My oldest hated to sleep & she had colic. Not so great combo there. The very best advice my mother has ever given me is this: You are the mom. Your baby has no idea what is supposed to happen & when, they need us to guide them. What I've done with all of mine especially when under a year old is pick a time when you know they are (or should be) tired. Make a little ritual so Nathan knows what comes next. We read a book, then lay down- whatever works. Maybe take a walk & then naptime. Even if he doesn't want to sleep, put him down. If you know he isn't hungry & you know he is dry then it's ok to walk away for a few minutes. They need to learn how to soothe themselves anyway. It's a natural thing. Maybe he'll want to play with toys, maybe he'll like sucking on his hands. After a week you'll be able to claim a bit of time to do other necessary things & he'll have a break as well. If he doesn't sleep & prefers to play with toys then consider it his own learning time. Give him stacking toys or something. He'll figure things out really fast I'll bet! Hugs.
from daze-of-rain :
I just went into your journal...AND omg what a total doll your Nathan is. I could just squeeze him!
from daze-of-rain :
Awww, thank you SO much for the words of sweetness about Addison. Thank you also for the add adn just taking the time to note me. That means so much to me!!!
from untamedwings :
Hi Julie! Username: au PW: revoir...Real life people stumbled upon me about a year ago & before I knew it I had an exlove, his nutty girlfriend, my MOTHER & god knows who else reading! I'd open an entry box & pause thinking, what can I write about?? The babies are 50 weeks apart & no one with a shred of a brain would ever plan that kind of chaos! The first year I thankfully forget a lot of. That sounds awful but it was just that hard & dismal. Em (2yr old) is our diva princess, smarter than everyone else in the house put together & Bridget was thank god the easiest baby ever. B has been a constant rainbow. This time last year was a mess, my husband & I were seperated & the kids could have been doing better. Thankfully we've pulled everything together & everyone is very happy now. The babies are like twins. They finish each other sentences, nurture each other & are rarely seperated. As for motherhood, trust your instincts. You'll make mistakes (we all do) but you'll only make them once!
from untamedwings :
Hi! I found you today via a moms diaryring.(I formed the ring forever ago & just recently started a new diary-fresh start)I'm Tania, 35 with 3 girls ages 5, 2 & 1. I'm locked right now simply to keep real life people from finding me. If you'd like the password just leave me a note. Loved the beach pics of Nathan. He is precious! Hang onto these crazy days because he'll be walking in no time!
from thaichic :
My god he is so gorgeous! Look at those swim trunks! So cute.
from camham :
AHHHH, what a sweetie! You are one lucky mommy. Sounds like the napping is getting a bit better. Our boys just don't want to miss out on anything, do they?
from thaichic :
Awwww so cute. I hold Aidan real close too at night after having a bad dream about him or after watching the horrid news on something to do with babies. Have a great weekend and a wonderful Mother's Day!
from thaichic :
Fabulous pictures. I love your new hairdo! And Nathan is so adorable.
from thaichic :
Hey girl! My father's side of the family are all from Huntsville. I'm from Crestview Florida which you probably know is only 45 minutes from P-cola. How cool is that?!
from camham :
Julie, maybe Nathan just doesn't need long naps. Is he grouchy when he wakes up, cranky during the day? I'm not sure if we need to spend so much energy getting the little one's to nap for a specific amount of time. I have stopped doing this. I just let tell me when he is really tired and then I nurse him off to sleep, lay him down, and if he gets up, he gets up. I'm sick of being obsessed with it. It would give me more free time, but oh well. The important thing is his moods, his night sleeping, and his health. I don't know...just been thinking about it.
from camham :
Julie, maybe Nathan just doesn't need long naps. Is he grouchy when he wakes up, cranky during the day? I'm not sure if we need to spend so much energy getting the little one's to nap for a specific amount of time. I have stopped doing this. I just let tell me when he is really tired and then I nurse him off to sleep, lay him down, and if he gets up, he gets up. I'm sick of being obsessed with it. It would give me more free time, but oh well. The important thing is his moods, his night sleeping, and his health. I don't know...just been thinking about it.
from thaichic :
Hallelujah! I feel exactly like you. I've had those days with Aidan that I would just hold him so hard and cry and tell him I'm sorry for being so frustrated with him. I too think that the mother should be the calm one and the reassuring one, the one that the baby can always depend on for comfort. I haven't had one of those days in a while, thank god. But I remember I finally decided for my own sanity and for Aidan's well-being, when I felt so frustrated I would give Aidan to someone else, even just for a minute or two. I noticed after a few minutes away from him, I would snap right back into mother-mood and be calm again. We just love our children sooooo much that it literally hurts and drives us crazy. You're not alone. You're human. You're a mom. And you shouldn't feel bad for feeling the way you. Keep writing your frustrations, it will make feel better afterwards. You can read my days like those in my silverscorp diary. Take care-Jen
from camham :
I need a new hair do too. It seems like that is in the air for us ladies! I am so sick of pulling it back into a pony tail and it also needs some high lights for the summer. Thanks for the help linking the note thing on my pages. I will work on that soon. How was your weekend? And congrats on the car!!!
from thaichic :
Hi there. My name is Jen and am a new mom to my son Aidan who is two and a half months now. Just reading some of your entries I smile at how close our lives seem. Sons are incredible aren't they? I've added you to my buddy list if that's okay with you. Take care- Jen
from mamabean :
Kennesaw is about 45 minutes from where we live... Al finished his MBA at Kennesaw State 2 years ago! Also, we will be going to Isle of Palms, SC to the beach. Both Al and I used to travel to your area of Florida for work, and a friend of mine lived in Pensacola for a few years before she was married. Small world! :)
from mamabean :
yay! you did it! congrats!
from mamabean :
hi julie, it's megan! thanks for checking out my diary - since you don't have your guestbook password i thought i'd leave you a note to say hi, and to please stop by my diary anytime you wish. and the way that people find out about your diary is generally thru someone else's diary, (like how you found mine!), or i guess the way we both found Alice's (we have identical stories, there!) they are so helpful, tho, aren't they? i'm looking forward to exploring yours now that i've found it, and will list you on my buddy list and favourite list to get you a little publicity. Good luck with Nathan's schedule and if you have questions, email or guestbook me anytime! love, megan

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