messages to neverbeme:
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from captainron :
Might be time to make some major changes, both at work and at home. As it stands right now, you aren't happy and the the path you are on doesn't look like it is going to take you to some place you will be happy any time in the immediate future. Life is too short to be miserable. Make something good happen. I know change is scary, but you have to ask yourself how much worse things could be if you just shook things up...
from adelnye :
Read the book: "Why Men Marry Bitches" You'll see the game that he's so obviously playing. Personally, I think distance is definitely good at this point of time... that is if you REALLY want nothing to happen between the two of you.
from adelnye :
Hi... could you email me your password? I promise I won't stalk you. ([email protected])
from lostmystic76 :
Good for you. It is probably the best decision for the both of you. Good luck ((hugs))
from captainron :
Have you told him what you have written here? If it is at all worth salvaging, maybe you should... Unless you know something is wrong, whay would you think of changing?
from herdarlinsin :
Ive read some of your entries before.. and you've gone and locked yourself up. That hurts my heart :( Email me the info to get in? please.... I'll love you long time.
from captainron :
I have a feeling you would have figured it out on your own. You seem like a pretty smart lady.
from captainron :
I don't know... Two things can happen here and neither of them is good... You tell The boss how you feel and he rejects you and you have to move on or you tell him how you feel, he says yippee and you're dating a married guy who also happens to be your boss... Either way, VERY, VERY messy... You really have to figure out how much of your boss crush is related to the problems at home. When things get rocky someplace we all look for a safe haven. Is this yours? And telling him what you know about his position being in jeopardy... Well, self preservation could kick in and he'll fire you of somebody else could find out you told him and they could fire you. Neither on helps either of you much. You have to ask yourself, would you take this position if lover boy wasn't the one potentially on the block? If so hang in and see what happens. If not, then I guess you don't have much to lose other than the ability to buy food and pay rent if it all goes to crap. Sorry... I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I've been managing folks too many years to make you think this will all come out smelling roses. It usually doesn't but I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Happy Valentines ay. Ron
from lostmystic76 :
I agree in telling him how you feel so he can back off and allow you the time to get over him. Affairs with married men NEVER work out well. A very close dairy read of mine went through something similar a few years ago, and things got really ugly. Just take care of you ((hugs))
from sheo :
Then do tell him what's going on. You hurting yourself this way by keeping it a secret and it won't faid untill you lett it go.
from jiltedsoul :
Yes I got your email, and replied. Check yours.
from beetilda :
Duuuude, not to be judgemental, and if I come off that way, I do apologise. My sister gave up everything to be with this dude that she looooved, yada yada yada. After 8 years she finally got him to marry her. Within 2 years he was cheating on her and that went on 12 years until he left her. She never got the kids and family she denied herself (on his bequest) so that he wouldn't leave her, then he left her anyway. If a dude says he doesn't want something, be it kids, marriage, another piece of cake, take him at his word. He doesn't want it. Frankly, you don't sound happy. These modern days, we princesses generally find that rescuing ourselves works out the best. Best of luck to you.
from smokefree-me :
You said: "If I can't have the kids, I'd settle for . . ." DON'T SETTLE. Not now, not ever. Funny how the job thing worked out. At least now you're getting paid more (yes?) while you can go looking for another gig. Oh - if BF has a serious drinking problem? Don't settle for that either. That's got years of pain & anguish written all over it. You need to seriously consider whether you want to settle for this guy. Just my opinion, I could be wrong.
from for-you-only :
I love your layout. This is me saying hi. Please stop by my blog. I'll be back if you remind me. ~Phoenix
from voodoochick :
from chicknamedal :
Just read your latest entry. Been there, in a very similar situation. Follow your heart. The finances will work themselves out. If stepping down is what you need to do in order to maintain sanity, then do it. Just remember, though, that your boss is are hurting yourself in the long run -- at THAT company. Things like this can be easily and honestly explained to prospective future employers. On the other hand, if you're in an area with a poor job market, you need to keep a clear head in your meeting with the head bitch in order to keep your employ while you search elsewhere. Good luck. I'll keep reading. Feel free to read Chicknamedal as well.
from bluelucy :
Hello, dear. I have some advice for you about your last entry, mainly, your relationship is certainly not a healthy one. Two persons who quite obviously do not want the same things in life should not be together. So many people feel it's normal to become bored with a relationship after a while, no matter how much you love your partner, but the fact is that if this is happening, you must realise whatever feeling you may have had for your boyfriend is no longer really present, and it's time to move on. Relationships should not be about security, they should be about love. You are holding on to someone who doesn't actually care about you, and whom you don�t actually care about in a romantic sense, at least, when you could be truly happy with someone who thinks the world of you, and whom you care equally for. Who knows when that point will come, but please, don't give up because you're afraid of being rejected, or because of the time it can take to find someone who's genuinely worth it. As well, consider the fact that being single is not always a bad thing. Perhaps you should take a step back from the romance world, and when the time is right, true love will come your way. I'm afraid I'm no good at the best way to break off from a relationship, but I do hope you will find a way to do so soon, because it's the best thing for you, as well as your current boyfriend.
from sheo :
Wow! I love your layout. ^^ I'm probably too young to tell you what to do or what you shouldn't do, but it sounds like your friend isn't the guy you really need. Note or mail me if you feel like talking to me.
from lostmystic76 :
Sounds like it's time to make and your best friend. Good luck with everything.
from nakedbarista :
Also a banner clicker, but everyone's given you advice out the yin-yang so you don't need my $.02 on anything. I just wanted to say that GOOD LORD I'm going to have to visit your diary after dark because I feel like my eyes are broken from straining to read so much. Once I figured out I could just highlight everything, I was good to go, though. I DO love your profile though. Red and black are my favorite colors.
from smokefree-me :
OK, so I went back and rad about your BF. Why do you think he's being 'good' to you, then list 7 things you don't really like about how he is? I'm not so sure he's being all that good to or for you. Again, just my opinion.
from smokefree-me :
Just dropping in cuz I saw your banner ad. Let me add, before you go all kamikaze and just quit your job because they won't let you demote yourself, do some searching and line up another job. Often it's easier to find a job when you already have one. Easier on the checkbook too. On the relationship thing? Just a quickie. Nobody deserves to be treated poorly. If you're in a relationship and you're being treated with less than the utmost of respect - get out, go find another. Or call your S/O on what ever it is they're doing and ask (demand) that they fix what ever it is they're screwing up. Bottom line, no one ever deserves to be treated like crap. Ever. Just my opinion, I could be wrong. (But I doubt it this time.)
from herdarlinsin :
Honey, you cant just settle. If you stay with the guy you've been with for the last 4 years, because its "comfort" and you're apparently not that happy; you're just cheating yourself. You should never settle for less than whats deserved of you. You make a stand at your work place, you can make a stand elsewhere too. No relationship is worth suffering over. Not ever. (And that took me years to realize) Have faith in the goodness of the unknown, it is there. And thank you for your comment.
from dulligirl :
Sometimes the best change you can make is to unburden yourself of responsibility that is only succeeding in being toxic. I've been there. I went from being an asst.manager at the store to being a music dept. manager. Financially I didn't have to sacrifice anything but it was a step down all the same. But I've never been happier at work. Hope things turn around.
from lady-frenzy :
And I meant "doesn't seem like a good environment for compromise"
from lady-frenzy :
That's does seem like a good environment for compromise... and all good relationships should have that. Hmmm, I�m going to go ahead and assume that there is a financial stability factor as well� Love and worship is good, but having open options and alternatives gives life its spice. You�re not feeling it and you never will because people don�t change for us; they�ll stay the same even after they�ve been shackled to the boiler in Dante�s palace. What you have to do is to weigh your options and do it quickly; you�re only getting closer to death!! Peace, hon. Good luck.
from kanyooceemee :
will you ever be truly happy giving up the things you want out of life?
from uncleal :
I'll tell you what I told my best friend some years ago. Just because he treats you better than you've been treated before, doesn't mean he treats you as well as you deserve. Although, from personal experience, I should let you know that jumping from one relationship to another isn't necessarily going to make you happy. The next person in your life might lack the bad qualities of the guy you're with, or hold the good qualities you think your current man is lacking, but sometimes you fail to look to see if he really has ALL the qualities you want, and completely overlook some of the huge failings you'll be in here writing about in a few months. Like I said I know this from experience. I don't claim to have perfected my life just yet.
from cherryjjones :
Wouldn't treating you well also mean that he gives you equal respect (listens to your stories), accepts his responsibility for his choice to be childless (vasectomy-hello!) and otherwise acts like an adult (not hiding in the house and working through conflict with you in a rational, mature way)? Is this what you want for yourself? Hmm, trapped, or reluctant to fly the coop?
from moonfaeryy :
I agree with wannagowest!
from mpeacock :
I agree that he should have a vasectomy. Having children and being married is NOT all what it is cracked up to be. I left a very good man for these reasons now I am practically a single mother. I love my son, but I miss a life free from worrying about my child. I understand the confrontation issue because I am like that too. I don't understand him not listening to you though. After living with three different men I realise only the faces change, the problems don't. There are new problems with every one of them.
from wannagowest :
I found your diary through your banner, also. If your bf never wants children, why doesn't he get a vasectomy? Then your sex life wouldn't have to suffer, at least. I really don't think he's the right guy for you. Maybe he treats you good, but he could treat you much better. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a wuss who can't handle confrontation? Do you want someone who ignores your problems by kissing you rather than talking them out and dealing with them? Are you truly able to accept never having children? Only you can answer these questions, of course, but please think about it and try to figure out what would really make YOU happy.
from hadassah :
I can ever relate. I guess weighing the pros and cons might help. Anyway, if you need a friend don't hesitate to call me. I'm just a diary away.
from sillycake :
Thank you for adding me. I read your entry about needing advice. I agree with lostmystic76. You need to live for YOU. I once felt trapped in a relationship, too. Unlike yours, mine was abusive- physically, mentally and emotionally. Yet, I stayed because for some reason, I felt comfortable. It had been nearly 3 years and I knew him inside out. Slowly, however, he began to change and I didn't know him anymore. The dreams we once shared collapsed. He suddenly decided he wanted to be with someone else and that he wanted different things out of life. I clung to him on a string until he finally broke it off. After he left me, although I was sad, I felt the greatest sense of RELIEF. I realized that I'd actually been unhappy all along and that I finally had the chance to start over and find a person who really appreciated me and respected what I wanted out of life. Guess what? I found him. I found a guy who shares all the same dreams as I do. I'm happier than I ever was with that jerk off I just told you about. Erik (my boyfriend) treats me awesome. We never argue about anything (and it has been almost a year and still no arguments of any kind), we respect each others' beliefs (he is religious and I am not), and we share pretty much all of the same hobbies and tastes in music, clothes and movies (my ex didn't even share my taste in music). You too can find a wonderful guy who will love you, treat you the way you deserve and who will share your dreams. He's out there and you can find him, but you can't do it if you're chained to someone who doesn't make you as happy as you want to be. Remember, being comfortable isn't the same as being truly happy. I speak from experience. Yes, you will miss him, but in the end, when you find your guy (the one who will share the same wants out of life and who will love you for who you are), you will discover what real happiness is. If you ever need more advice, please don't hesitate to leave me a note or send me an e-mail.
from lostmystic76 :
Found you through your banner. You're definetly in a pickle aren't you. What kinda of advise can a stranger really give? Live for yourself...there is no one more worth living for. This doesn't mean be selfish and cruel to those around you, but acknowlegde what you want from life and don't settle. If you want children, then find someone who also shares this dream. It doesn't help that once we turn 30 the little clock inside us starts ticking like crazy and we get baby fever - lol!
from dulligirl :
Thank you for adding me! I have no advice about your situation except that writing it out can sometimes help you come to a decision.
from jiltedsoul :
Welcome to diaryland. If you read my diary, you will know I have no advice to give. but I wish you luck and look forward to reading more from you.

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