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Suddenly I appear to be recalling a decade old romance with Diaryland and you were a wonderful part of that, so as if time stood still tonight I send you love and smiles and hope everything is wonderful in your world. I see I am logged in with my first account, but I know the babbling Candoor is writing about my journey this week through Diaryland. Memories are wonderful here :)

from whystinger :

Been a long time. Hope you are well. 6/14/2015

from cocoabean :

I agree, except for #7. If you are Shemar Moore, you can let your undies show *just a little* and I wouldn't say a thing!

from rockhound :

Sometimes you have to hand the Universe an instruction book, with your requirements circled in red. Single? Check. Fidelity? Check. Capable? Check. Healthy? Check. Honest? Check. Wants an actual relationship with one woman, me? Check. I got what I asked for. Sometimes I'm reminded how dangerous that can be, and it pointed out the things I missed if I ever ask again.

from cocoabean :

I seem to not have your password, could you email it to me drkchoclover at yahoo? Please? Thanks!

from ms-do :

gosh long time since I have been here. glad your moving along nicim.... didn't realise michael had died? when was that? and what happened to him?

from atwowaydream :

beautiful, beautiful entry.

from pandionna :

I tried to leave the note below in your comments with respect to Occupy Wall Street, because it seems you really missed the point about it, but it wouldn't "take." Occupy Wall Street is made of people from all walks of life, with all educational backgrounds. It has nothing to do with someone's ability to get into college and everything to do with the items I noted below.

from pandionna :

1. Divest corporations of their power over the electoral process. This includes getting rid of the insane notion that corporations are individuals. Someone else said this, but I agree with it: I'll believe a corporation is a person when Texas executes one. 2. Promote and implement campaign finance reform so that politicians cannot be bought and paid for by special interests. Personally, I feel that message is a bit diluted by the involvement of unions, as unions, by their very nature, are special interests. However, their involvement does serve a purpose in that they stand up against and protect people from exploitation by their employers, and one of Wall Street's sins is to foster, enhance, and contribute to that exploitation. 3. Stop shipping American jobs overseas. Let's get real: The companies that do this don't do it so they can offer products to the masses at lower prices. They do it to profit the people at the top. The money they don't spend on health insurance, benefits, and fair wages, they keep to themselves. Not only is outsourcing detrimental to the nation as a whole in that it is destroying the working class, it is self-defeating, too: Sooner or later, no one is going to have any money left to buy their products. 4. Punish the white collar criminals who stole from the public and took taxpayer money for their bailouts. The entire upper echelon of Goldman Sachs should be in jail. Ditto the thugs at Bank of America, Citibank, and every other major bank and firm that broke laws. And the punishment should not be fines, but jail time, although they should be forced to pay out of their own pockets, as well. 5. Reinstate Glass-Steagall. Wall Street has shown us how well it can self-police and avoid conflicts of interest. There is no way a depository institution should be allowed to gamble away the citizens' savings on commercial crap shoots. Deregulation is a giant fail. There are other side interests, like affordable education, affordable health care, and so on, that funnel into this, but in terms of Wall Street and what it stands for, the five items above are why people are occupying.

from rockhound :

Your comments are turned off - I nearly forgot how to get to your notes! Sometimes being okay is actually... okay. Spectacular is all well and good, but it has one intrinsic problem: it never lasts. A good dose of okay can be longstanding and well worth the trouble.

from batten :

Being okay is sure a hellofa lot better than you have been doing, honey. And the fact that you're okay after everything you've been thru is nothing short of a miracle. And I'm also pretty sure that one of these days you'll find yourself back at fantastic, great, wonderful and happy. Big hug to you, dear. You still have your friends, y'know...

from cocoabean :

being just ok isn't a bad thing! And it does get better..

from rockhound :

I'm so rarely on Diaryland any more I tend to miss you when you post. It isn't for lack of interest - just lack of time. I hate seeing you waste your life mourning for a man who didn't deserve the time. I wish there were something I could offer that would bring you back to the living. Sadly, I went through a lot of the same before finding my knight in dented armor. Let me tell you this - G isn't perfect and God knows we've had our moments: but I wouldn't trade him for all the handsome bastards in the world. You can love someone's face for its contours, or you can love the simple reliance on going to bed with the same gentle man's arm around you every night. I'll take the latter, any day.

from atwowaydream :

It does seem that being on our own is something that will resonate with nearly everyone. I know you're going through a hard time right now, and everyone needs time to grieve. Whether it's death or the elusive closure.

from whystinger :

I know it hurts. Know this also, one door closes and another one opens. Take time to look deep into the situation and the infidelities. When I left my wife, it fucking hurt - for me, the first night, as I lay in a sleeping bag on the dirty floor of a cheap apartment. I felt worse the next day, wondering if I had made a mistake, until lunch time when I went somewhere and started re-reading my diary from the beginning and realized how long things had been bad. Leaving was empowering and I slowly started to heal. Today, I am back with her, still working on the marriage. I may have to leave again, but I live, no I thrived as you will as you go through the process of grieving the loss of your marriage. Please consider seeing a psychotherapist. They will help you sort out your feelings and move on with life. If I can help, drop me a note and I will send my email address or password to my diary. Life is a journey and while this hurts like hell, it will make you stronger. I wish you well.

from opposure :

I have similar tendencies - to seek proof of worthiness at every turn. I'll say a prayer for him.

from atwowaydream :

i send you only hugs. lots and lots of hugs, because you deserve them! sometimes the people we love are puppeteered. but you're still beautiful.

from opposure :

your entries are fascinating. just like life.

from mykindoflove :

You updated!! But you're also locked... I've read you for years and would love to keep reading if you'll let me. If you feel like sharing a password, you can reach me at happy123409 at gmail dot come. Hope all is well with you!

from cocoabean :

Where are you? If you update again, please let me know... drkchoclover at gmail. Thanks!

from namastesakhi :

More than two years later I've come back to D-Land and discoverd that only a handful of those I knew to still be here. I am pleased to read that you are HepC free and that you left Mr. Lucky, although the loss of Findlay was a devastating blow, as is such to someone who has always wished you the utmost happiness, which you deserve. Don't despair completely, though, as there is still time for a happy ending, which I am still wishing for you :) Hugs!

from whystinger :

So what will you do? I am curious.

from mykindoflove :

Nicim? What happened? I figured you went quiet because you were finally happy and finding the things you need in life. But now it sounds like that is not the case? As far as the entry... I struggle with the same things...but partly because I really don't trust that some of the people in my life have my best interest at heart. Some of the things they have encouraged me to do have been unhealthy and dangerous.... So I think you have to really listen, but I think we all still have to trust our own gut, too. Don't lose faith in yourself--that you keep believing in love after all these horrible experiences... truly is beautiful!

from curiouoso :

Hi Nici! Nice to see you are around1 Your friend, Curiouoso*

from whystinger :

I would have to say that I find you loving and sympathetic from reading you. I will venture to say that you are in person too.

from udntknwme69 :

hello... here.. try this instead. http://udntknwme69.diaryland.com/oneandonly.html

from whystinger :

I can guess that is your Grandson. Is that you or your daughter? Very pretty!

from nixtress :

I hope you and yours have a wonderful and safe Memorial Day weekend :)

from fairygodmum :

Congrats on your promotion!!!! Looks like things are coming together! Yippieeee!!! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum

from ms-do :

Oh i'm so glad to have found you, i thought you had packed up and left.....I was just catching up on what's happening....Hugs your doing fantastically...Ms Do

from curiouoso :

Thanks for the comment. I can certainly have a mouth when I want to! I really admire clever repartee, and like in that case, Lard Ass was close to real live Shit for brains. He just couldn't understand I was dissing him to the Max because he had no class. I didn't perpetrate any violence on anyone till I was jumped from behind. After I wrote that, I was afraid You in particular might be disgusted with me and call off our meeting. Thanks for being cool about it. I'm not particularly proud of getting in a fight, but like I always say, Age and treachery will always best youth and stupidity! So I actually feel pretty good about kicking Ass at my age! My love as always, Curiouoso*

from starhearts :

Ok your dates so far have sounded GREAT!... Tell me how do you weed out the creeps from the good guys??? Curious as if I ever have to go back I need to find that out first off...and I don't judge well from what I can tell so far...give me some good hints? THANKS~~~~ :) C.

from sduckie :

Hi I'm Duck, I recently added you to my favorites. Sending you some support at this time...from reading your diary I know you've had quite a journey and seems like these men are not showing up for you. Sorry it has been so painful. If you are interested I just read a book called The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson and it helped me a lot, because I always had the habit of ending up with guys who just couldn't show up for me, a lot of them just disappeared much like this Angel guy... I'm working on changing that now and I wish it for all us powerful women, that we can actually have the romances we want! So sending you some loving sisterly support, Duck

from poolagirl :

Goodness, you have been the recipient of such interesting comments!

from mpeacock :

I also write in the third person sometimes when I am writing romance. username is mpeacock password is sammo

from curiouoso :

I've thought of you a number of times while you were gone. Remember, I even tried to call you a few times? Just to see how you were? If you weren't so far away, I'd try to chat you up for that long ago promised motorcycle ride. Magic things happen when you are thrilled. Of course a real in person relationship would be very unsatisfying. I'm married and have no intention of not being. When I'm entranced by someone (as I'm sure I would be with you!) I tend to get carried away, way away. I'm sure there are many people out there that have missed you and don't realize you are back yet. I doubt anyone would ever say anything about you except bemoan the idea that you were the one that got away before they really got to know you! Pretty maudlin for Curiouoso* but he means well!

from liquid-mojo :

amusing banner. being a male i've faked a relationship or two in my day. i do have to say however that much like the act of faking orgasms, it totally isn't worth the time or the energy... ;)

from nixtress :

Thank you for the e-card :) It's always so nice to catch up with you. I hope you have a great Christmas. Happy Holidays!!

from boann7 :

i just caught up on you today. i have been pretty quiet here myself for a while. thinking of you and so happy your health is improving. glad you are moved and getting settled in your new life. hugs and warm thoughts from me to you. thanks for your note.

from whystinger :

Hmmm, I may be joining you soon... if I follow thru with it. I don't think I told you that I lived in Joisey several years ago. Worked in Newark and lived in Vernon...

from starhearts :

similar boat here..ex is packing...take care of you!!!! HUG and good luck with your rebuilding adventure, I am sure you will do well in the end....take care on the journey! C.

from artgnome :

Actually, I do hope every day that no man comes into my life to ruin all the good things that I am benefiting from working and being on my own. Not everyone seeks out fulfillment in a relationship. Nothing personal, just needed to respond to your banner for my own sake.

from paintedgray :

i am absolutely fascinated with your world! please, for god's sake, never stop writing!

from boann7 :

hello, i have been gone a while but noticed you are updating some.. can i come in? do you still have my email address?

from for-tart :

Greetings. Used to be a reader before you locked up long ago. Are you accepting new acquantances? Thanks.

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