DiaryLand members area

i know exactly what you mean! after all the [social networking] openness, it's so nice to be able to express yourself, but not to EVERYONE. glad you are back!

from aigre-douce :

hello? is anyone there? hellooooo?

from aigre-douce :

i will have to email it to you. which (email)domain are you using most?

from aigre-douce :

what are you doing at the airport? i'm currently going through the badging process to work at the airport here!

from hibiscus101 :

welcome to HP land. we;re an odd group here but we're all addicted to a little boy in glasses with a scar on his forehead.

from sleiranerual :

listen here, woman. new job or not, i need some updates!! hope you're having a great week!

from sleiranerual :

http://harpold.com/nav.html it's funny that you asked that, because i actually put the link to it in my diary. i guess it just didn't show up well with that template. yeah, i had one of her templates, too. she was so talented. it's really sad.

from sleiranerual :

well thank you. my dad and i were walking around the mall, and i was admiring this girl's partially shaved head, and joked about doing it in the back of my head. for whatever reason, this spurred my dad to tell me 'you know i love you'x3, 'but it wouldn't hurt if you would drop a few pounds and tone up.' i told him yeah, i could see toning up, but i am not interested in losing any weight because crazily, i like the way i look. then he said, 'well, i don't necessarily mean that you would be doing it for yourself' - meaning i should do it for my new husband. i was like, 'well actually dad, he likes the way i look, too. i mean, after all, he did marry me. and he does like the way i look. and furthermore, i have no interest in being some super skinny white girl. i like my curves. but thanks.' what i said is true, but it still hurt my feelings that he would say that. i know he gets on to my mom for her weight, and it's retarded because my mom is 4'9", so if she gets really skinny (which is not attractive - i've seen it) she has to start wearing little girl's clothes. it's not cute. but anyway, that 'loving, helpful' conversation just made me so mad and hurt my feelings a lot. and thank you for your reassurance. :)

from sleiranerual :

see, and that's why you're my favorite. :)

from sleiranerual :

duncanhanks

from courtneymay :

why is it that grey's always wants to make me SOB? I cry every thursday. maybe it's because it's the end of the week and i'm tired, but i always cry.

from invisibledon :

I've been reading lately So I'm one of them that is local

from sixxgunn :

you... are very interesting to read. thank you for taking the time to write.

from sparkspark :

I love this epic entry--multimedia and everything! The Keelhauler's brother has a high-tech pacemaker that's very rare. Perhaps he is in the same club. The rare pacemaker club. Anyway, excellent costumes, Miss! XOXO Violet

from strangerlucy :

i'm leaning toward it being risky to dress up as bike patrol, too. on the other hand, dressing up as a ticketbook might be fun and regarded as more playful. could probably just use sheets of cardboard covered with vinyl for the cover, punch holes in the paper, shoelaces or wire to lace through the top- you can rip off big sheets of paper and issue tickets for pretend violations.

from sparkspark :

Aqua wig, safety goggles, hammer... I smell some performance art in the making! XOXO Violet

from dinahsoar :

Hi! I've been away from Diaryland forever and just popped back in today. Love your new format! It's great to re-aquaint with buddies like you!

from mel-is-dvash :

My fingers are crossed. ;-)

from sparkspark :

I want to see your creepy project! My band gets called "creepy" from time to time, which I think is funny. I also like Inkblot's father's ability to assess guys. I wonder what he'd think of mine. XOXO Violet

from strangerlucy :

glad to hear your niece's health is much improved. (i tried to leave a guestbook note last night, but it wouldn't go through- in it, i wondered if she has one of those buggy guidant pacemakers)

from ladybugge :

Hi there! My new diary is Mel-is-dvash. Please email me at msmelmahler @ gmail . com for the password. It's good to hear from you! Lb

from umademehappy :

"..laughter, tears, and being silly. I guess that isn't all bad..." I'll take those .. ;)

from hothead :

i'm nosy as HELL, so i had to check out your flickr page, and...holy god. you have taken some amazing photos. the ones downtown are precisely the ones i have meant to take for years. wow. and YAY to pornstar tshirts (did you make it?), macy's, y'all magazine (which i seriously need in my life), and infinitely readable new (and local!) diarists in my life. cheers.

from hothead :

well, hey there neighbor! thanks for the note! i LOVE your layout...and i'm adding you now, so i can start reading. :)

from sparkspark :

You did the right thing, dismantling the bed of giganticness! It can't have been fun, but you're right about its marketability. XO Violet

from sparkspark :

The biggest bitch I know recommended that book to me. It startled me a little when she admitted that she felt she'd been doing everything wrong in relationships. I swear, I cannot imagine being a bigger bitch than she is, so if SHE feels like she's too nice, I feel hopeless. XO Violet

from sparkspark :

Ten thousand square feet? That is huge! I am so jealous. Think of the parties you could have there--they'd go on for weeks, and you could keep discovering rooms you'd forgotten about. Ahhhhhhhhhh, space. XOXOX Violet

from hibiscus101 :

she's gorgeous

from hibiscus101 :

thats how i understand it to work. they send you an email tellin you how much you pledged and then where to go from there. i believe.

from laurenariel0 :

new diary.

from aigre-douce :

no, just the gmail addy you have. i meant that diaryland had my old aol one that i no longer use, so i updated my email in the diaryland database . . . so if you leave me notes or whatever, i'll know.

from aigre-douce :

hey lady!! i signed in for the first time in . . . almost a year? read your latest entry, wanted to leave you a note. love, lauren ps. i do not have a flickr page. all i have is myspace now . . . at least, it's the only thing i really keep up to date somewhat.

from hibiscus101 :

omg you rock!! thank you thank you thank you!!!

from sparkspark :

Kittens! Get 'em! XO Violet

from hibiscus101 :

sounds like you had a great time. I'm suprised San Antonio is inexpensive, I would have thought otherwise, uh huh uh huh. have a great night!

from sparkspark :

That article really doesn't seem totally complimentary. It manages to achieve bemused detachment, but it's hardly a glowing write-up. Curious. XO Violet

from hibiscus101 :

me too. i think it would be fun to havea trading thing. maybe it could be an anything goes type of thing..hmmm..

from hibiscus101 :

very random question: but remember fridgelove? do you have any idea if there are trading groups like that stilla round in d-land?

from strangerlucy :

i don't mind storms much, but the exceptionally special fx you experienced would have made me jump, too. my cat is terrified of storms and wastes no time heading down to the basement until it's all quiet again.

from strangerlucy :

you're welcome. your mom's birthday/the mother's day holiday would make feelings more keen. it's nice that you're taking flowers there. after i replied to you, i did what i mentioned and then drove over to the cemetery to water flowers. well, i added a bunch of my tears along with the jugs of water. weird how the listing loosened up some emotions. it was good, cleansing. i don't feel the need often anymore, but there it was. hope your visit won't leave you terribly sad.

from sparkspark :

Hi, Miss--I'm thinking of you today. XO Violet

from sparkspark :

"Preserved" is a distressing adjective. I personally would prefer "most youthful," but as you might be thinking to yourself even at this moment, "This is not about Violet." Anyway. Anotehr distressing adjective: "Wholesome." Did he just mean "not a skank," do you suppose? It's the kind of word you might think about someone, but not say out loud. Anyway. There you have it. Congratulations on attending your reunion--I've always been too horrified/indifferent/chicken. XO Violet

from hibiscus101 :

thanks. it took a while to come up with ten. fun though. i'm letting M marinate in my head while i work. it coudl be your a-z fillers. when you cant think of anything to use for an entry use the next letter in the alphabet and make a list. ;)

from hibiscus101 :

ooo ooo oo! i want a letter. heehee. would you please assign moi a letter so that I may waste some time coming up with stuff;)

from dinahsoar :

Thank you SO much!

from hibiscus101 :

big huge hugs! and that last little ski instrucor quote...hilarious!

from sparkspark :

I do love the Alex Sepkus. Those rings are gorgeous. And in other news: I really liked what you wrote about not quite fitting in. I feel the same way, but never quantified it. XO Vio

from hibiscus101 :

thats true themes are alays interesting. 10:1 i end up taking pictures of my shoes and my tattoos before i even think of anything else. unless miss tabitha(my neice) is at the house when I get the camera then its all on her. ;)

from forcheez :

hey wuts up saw your profile am the new fucker on here check me out i have msn messenger only its [email protected] its my email too laterz Tim

from sparkspark :

You can stalk my notes page any time.

from hibiscus101 :

that was great. its true so much goes into online dating. but it looks like you found some decent conversation in that.

from hibiscus101 :

Thank you! I love the photo on this layout I have now. I love the colors on yours! I saw V this past weekend as well. I loved it for alot of reasons. It was definitly differnt in comparrison to whats been out lately at theaters. It was a lot to take, i'd say. And it reminded me of the book 1984. Thats the last thing I saw in theaters. I have phantom of the opera waiting at home for me to watch tonight, my dad is strongly reccommending it to me. I'm such a child at heart I'm running out friday to by Chicken Little on dvd, because it was adorable. :)

from hibiscus101 :

did you like v?

from sparkspark :

I bet your office looks gorgeous. I laughed, thinking about the concept of two-inching it, applied to other endeavors. That's a great description. XO Violet

from sparkspark :

I love your new layout, by the way. And I like the idea about syntax affecting thought process. I think about that in terms of the Japanese language, which is structured so differently. XO Vio

from hibiscus101 :

me too heehee. 1 and 2 are my favorites right now and 2 seems to be the one winning in the lil poll:) thank you!

from hibiscus101 :

i love the layout. beautiful!

from sparkspark :

Sometimes black humor is the best way to cope with sadness.

from strangerlucy :

happy valentine's day to you. i rarely return to my past entries- mostly i'm goofing around or purging and leaving it behind, covered in a little poo pile.

from hibiscus101 :

im addicted to my random button. I hit random once a day and read something from my past:)

from sparkspark :

You would have to work pretty hard to sound that incoherent. And even then, your spelling would be better.

from strangerlucy :

gigling. uhhh, giggling!

from sparkspark :

Thanks, Bella--I appreciate your comments very much, and will take them to heart. XO-Vio

from strangerlucy :

hugs your way, pal, for making it through today.

from wanders :

I am very sorry to hear about your mom. My thoughts are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing her.

from strangerlucy :

p.s. it was sweet seeing your card in today's mail, m. I would mail you a card, but don't have your current mailing address. you and your family are in my thoughts just the same.

from strangerlucy :

your mom was so blessed that you were able to be there to make sure her wishes were respected, and to provide the comfort of your presence today. i know your emotions may run back and forth a lot in the coming days, which will pass in a blur with decisions and people. but you did right by her. I am very sorry Today came too soon, Misty.

from dinahsoar :

You are beautiful.

from hibiscus101 :

sounds like youve had a great time in Berlin. My thoughts are with your mother. She'll adore the fact that you thought of her while away regardless of what it is you bring back for her. :)

from strangerlucy :

i think it is sweet and right that you are buying thoughtful gifts for your mother now. as you say, no one can say she won't come off that machine. she'll be hearing you, until then, and will know you're back. the other day, i gifted a friend of ours who is in hospice with the constant gardener - she loves movies and that was one she'd been hoping to see.

from courtneymay :

let me know if there is anything I can do. Try to soak up the beauty while you're there.

from dinahsoar :

I believe you a right to honor and trust your own emotions. Others mean well, but really there is nothing very comforting to say about losing someone we love. Please be well. You are in my prayers. Your devotion to your mother is very inspiring.

from strangerlucy :

I'm so sorry your mom has taken a serious turn,especially tough since it's happening during a time when you're trying to enjoy a special trip. feeling whatever you're feeling, sadness,is also a natural part of life, given the circumstances.it's part of adjusting to major transitions like this. sadness can go hand in hand with acceptance. keeping you and your mom in my prayers, m. i understand what you're going through.

from sparkspark :

The stripes should be wide, and cover the entire page. On some browsers, they're all scrunched up at the top, although I cannot say why. No change here, though. I hope you're enjoying yourself traveling! It sounds exciting. XO Vio

from dinahsoar :

Enjoying travelling vicariously!

from courtneymay :

I had no idea Lx had MOVED! Good for her! I sent her mom/dad a Christmas card. If you ever see them again, tell them I said hello. I really miss them very much.

from sparkspark :

Hey, there! Thank you for your beautiful Christmas card. I'm still working on sending out cards, so perhaps I should add little red heart stickers, and trust they'll arrive by February 14th. I hope your new year is wonderful. XO Violet

from hibiscus101 :

*Happy Holidays*

from courtneymay :

CONGRATS! You get a parking allowance?? That's amazing. I really liked working in CITS; I liked the staircase, for some reason; I liked seeing invisibledon; I liked the bathrooms. You'll do great!

from strangerlucy :

ditto to sparkspark's comment. i'm glad to hear it came through for you. thanks for the card- now if only I'd get mine out in the next day, it might actually get to you (and the rest of the list) by christmas, drrr.

from sparkspark :

Congratulations on your new job! I'm so happy for you, and wish you the best. XO Violet

from strangerlucy :

your writing doesn't come off all gloomy. your mom's illness is what you both are living with-you write about how you're integrating it into the other things going on in your life, but there isn't any way to avoid what's going on with your mom as a big concern in your day to day.

from strangerlucy :

they'll take good care of your mom for those days, and probably give her some peace of mind and reassurance, too, being surrounded by close medical attention. your knitting friend's story is so sad. chicago is freezing cold right now, and i can't imagine having to move to a big new city after such a massive blow as losing a child. then again, every little thing won't be reminding her of her daughter either.

from strangerlucy :

i wouldn't want to date an artist whose work i didn't like either.it'd be like dating a rock star whose music i couldn't stand either, because i care about both art and music. the guy could be a bad sports coach and i wouldn't care at all, because sports doesn't matter to me in the least... so i get why you hesitate to date the potentially conceited artist. what do you do when he asks if you like his work- lie? too tough. (glad niece and mom are both doing better)

from strangerlucy :

hope your niece recovers soon- that's really scary. i knew a couple of people diagnosed with diabetes in their teens who -maybe in some sort of denial- drank alcohol, smoked, etc. in larger amounts after the diagnosis than before hand. maybe in time she'll reel it back in. of course you're worried about her- that's not being a fuddy duddy, said the fuddy duddy.

from strangerlucy :

laughing out loud after this entry. not that you would appreciate me laughing at your green skin, but i started reading "wicked" at my neighbor's insistance, and of course Elphaba is born green. two green people in one week makes me giggle, can't help it. now either they're doctoring those wipes to win new patients, or could you be getting a patina from copper? (supplements? shrug). Green! you're not kermitizing!

from sparkspark :

That is so nice! His response, I mean. Although it does totally disprove a theory I had, which is that tall guys always pick small women. I knew it was a lie when I came up with it, but I'm 5' 9", and all the tall guys I knew had girlfriends who were like 5' 3". Still, 6' 8"? Maybe I should wink at him. I could wear my highest heels all the time! (I do that anyway. Never mind.) Thanks for your very sweet words about Fox, too. He was a wonderful little dog.

from sparkspark :

I must see your film when it's finished. I laughed out loud at the idea of all these adults looking around, with false nonchalance, going, "What cement mixer?" and spiraling one finger around their ear to indicate craziness. (That's how it happened in my world. I'm sure yours was much more subtle.)

from sparkspark :

"I did not do anything freaky in the meantime..." made me laugh. Well, of course you didn't. I am sorry you're being made to play the waiting game. That's just ridiculous.

from wanders :

I just read and got caught-up. Sounds to me like his loss. :-) Apparently, no matter what age, men in general stay the same--aggravating, annoying, confusing.

from sparkspark :

I do find that funny, and my best excellent cords from two years ago (Super Thrift, Oxnard CA, $3.99) have that belt loop issue going on. It must be inherent in the genre.

from wanders :

I'm glad to hear that your mom is feeling better. I always say the wrong things when people are dealing with hardships, so I just keep quiet, but you and your mother are in my thoughts. You both are remarkably strong women and set a great example.

from sparkspark :

Swanky new look, Miss M. I like it. Rock those cords!

from sparkspark :

Hey, miss--I've mostly gotten over my horror at my own picture. Thanks for the message. Your new date sounds fun!

from aigre-douce :

You know, I have tried and tried and tried to check your diary for a long time now, but I never logged in to do it. I didn't realize it was locked, it just said the page wasn't working or something. May I please have the password? [email protected] or [email protected].

from strangerlucy :

J and I seldom agree about political topics. in fact, our nastiest words are often exchanged over things occurring well outside of our relationship, heh. The rest finds us meshing well, somehow. what connects two people isn't always predictable or obvious to those outside.

from courtneymay :

You guys could be like James Carville and Mary Matalin, only you have to start saying "It's like two squirrels fighting in a bag," and stuff like that. I've always imagined they had a good life.

from snideblonde :

what i really meant to say was... you deserve a little joy and if you've found that then that's all that matters. what you believe and think is the most important. period. i believe in you.

from courtneymay :

[email protected] . . . sometimes it's feels good to lock up. Hope everything's okay.

from strangerlucy :

poor little guy- I hope he mends quickly. I suppose these notes are not private, so I think I'll stop at that remark)

from sparkspark :

Hey, there! I didn't get your e-mail; wanna re-send? Grazie!

from ladybugge :

Hi there! I am interested - [email protected] Everything okay?

from wanders :

I'm interested and curious. E-mail me at [email protected] if you'd like to share.

from strangerlucy :

the weather here is quite unusual, too. it was 85 degrees today, and very humid. I refused to turn on the a/c given the date, so J pouted. the weather gurus claim the real october weather is on the way later this week. I'm not complaining, given that winter goes on much too long around here, ordinarily. I added you at the other site- thanks for the note :)

from dinahsoar :

Enjoy!

from sparkspark :

I just read today's entry, and I have a very good idea of what the THAT'S GREAT! sounds like, based on personal experience. Just reading it made me laugh out loud and simultaneously cringe. When this guy I knew used to say it, I always interpreted it as "That's so great that you've managed to scrape together some activity that fills your time and doesn't involve me in any way!" Like the consolation prize after the gong. Which was SO condescending and pathetic, implying as it did that although he didn't consider me good enough, it was very kind of someone else to. Sorry. I should write my own entry and not glom onto your notes page like this. It's just that... I don't have ... anything else in my... lie-hi-hi-hiiiiife! (Sniff) Except my great, great Old Navy cords.

from sparkspark :

Hey, Miss--I have the book at work, and I'm currently at home. I will send your assessment ASAP, though! Work those corduroys, sister--I'm doing so on the west coast, even though the hills are ablaze and it's like103 degrees. I feel I must wear the cords, though. in solidarity with my east coast sisters.

from strangerlucy :

hoping your mom's med. results are okay. i can't imagine that she wouldn't feel uneasy waiting to hear. regardless, she sounds like a strong woman who tries to make the best of a bad situation. i think your philosophy about the coin flipping is very true. ouija board answers are also fun, but it might be tough to convince darwin not to cheat and move the marker thingy (i forgot the name of that thingy)

from sparkspark :

I just got a sample of *that* perfume, and I'm wearing it today! One of the top notes is violet petal. It's... OK. Let me check again. Yeah, it's OK. I'm always looking for a new perfume, but although that one should be ideal, I just don't know. I bid on a store display on eBay, though--because I am a geek.

from wanders :

That is very true. I think I'm a little clueless at times when it comes to guys and their cues. Best wishes to your mom this week!

from sparkspark :

Great job! Congratulations.

from sparkspark :

As clowns go, the religious variety rates very low on the necessity scale, and very high on the eeriness scale, coming in above birthday party clowns but below serial-murderer-style clowns. It's bad enough to wear baggy pants and a rainbow wig without dragging God into the mix. A guy like that is likely to congratulate himself, thinking he's performing an actual service to humanity, like, "The kids don't realize that while they're having a great time laughing, they're actually learning valuable lessons about salvation!" or whatever, never understanding that neither thing is true. And... this has been Religious Clown Bitterness Corner, with your host, Violet.

from sweetresent :

Aww, thank you for your note! That was very kind. Take care, I'll be back. ;)

from theswordsman :

Hi. I really like your diary. But the first couple of sentences of your entry get mixed up in your template. Take care. Signed, a guy who always calls.

from dinahsoar :

Interesting that you would say this today, because I finally made the best relationship decision I have ever made. I have accepted a proposal from a loving, giving, intelligent and tender man (but don't tell anyone - it'll blow my story - just between you & me, okay?).

from hibiscus101 :

oh man. see i further enforced the saem rule when imade the mistake of driving an hour and a half to meet up with someone who ended up looking like he was 15 and was very very very irritating. no thank you. you need a ruber band fix. you know like when someone tries to stop swearing. you can repeat"must have picture."

from aigre-douce :

I put in a change of address request thing, but the first time I did it with my old zip code, thinking it was the same . . . nope. I'm maybe a whole minute away from my old apartment, but now the zip is 30316. The rest is the same, but the street address is 243 Iswald Street SE Apt 1. I put in ANOTHER change of address request with the new zip code, but I'm fearful it won't go through . . . who knows. In the meantime, I guess I'll just be hounding my post office. Thanks for the postcard, though. Can't wait to get it. PS - I decided years ago I was going to save up and have a tomb or pyramid to be buried in. I live right across from the Oakland Cemetary (historic site), and love taking walks in it (which happens maybe once every few months), and decided on my first trip there that I must have a tomb or some sort of above-ground burial type thing. Let's start a business of it!

from sparkspark :

I don't know: when I read your pyramid development plan, I thought, "Hey... that's a great idea!" and wondered if you'd let me in on the deal. In other news: I'm wearing the dark teal corduroys today, and on the way into the office, I passed Conservative Guy, who works in the next building. He said hello, then grinned widely and yelled, "Nice pants!" He's really too nice to openly mock me, but I feel like there was a little amusement at my expense there. Maybe my fly was open.

from sparkspark :

You can be Danish, too! I would totally vouch for you.

from dinahsoar :

That was unreal! $3.00! (but VERY entertaining)

from dinahsoar :

I am looking forward to seeing your art.

from aigre-douce :

That's awesome! I wish I knew more about my heritage. However, I will tell you this - my friend Jean is Native American. One time I innocently said 'Indian' meaning Native American, and she got SO MAD. She lives on a reservation in Canada, and she went into this long thing about how offensive it is to call someone who is Native American an 'Indian', which I can understand. Just wanted to give you the heads up in case you were also unaware of the possibility of being offensive. I still think it's awesome you know that much about your family history, though.

from aigre-douce :

RE: Chick that I'm looking for That's HILARIOUS!! It's got to be fake, though. I'm sure some guy just made that up (or perhaps a feminist) just to see who, if anyone, would respond to it. It's just too good to be true! Speaking of animals, sorry to hear about Darwin and the glue trap. I was a bit alarmed to hear about the mice and rats, too. I guess the snake was after them? Maybe you should have let him stayed . . . I hate rats way more than I dislike snakes. Gah! I do not envy your rodent problems. I have a literal panic attack if I see a roach . . . I'd hate to know what I'd do if I knew I had mice in my house; probably have a heart attack. Good luck x infinity!!!! <333

from aigre-douce :

Thanks! I started to leave you a note earlier, but customers rushed in; good luck with the snake!! That sounds scary. I'm looking forward to hearing Milkman's news about Angel btw. Can we see the documentary you made? It sounds like you had a lot of fun. Also, I talked to Hezekiah this morning; James and I are going to go check the progress of the townhouse when I get off work in about an hour. And yes, I am more than a little exhausted. As we speak, I am looking forward to soaking my legs as soon as I get home; they hurt SO BADLY from always being on my feet. They feel swollen. YW for the update . . . check for *other* updates later.

from sparkspark :

I'm wishing you the best for that terrible snake. In other news: I also bought the Old Navy cords. The peacock color.

from strangerlucy :

i would be totally freaking knowing a snake was slithering about as i slept. um- correction: sleep wouldn't be happening. hope they showed up and evicted the nekkid snake.

from wanders :

I'll keep my fingers crossed that they find your snake--that is my worst nightmare. You seem to be holding up very well; I would be a mess. :-)

from dinahsoar :

Have you read "The Secret Life of Bees" or "Mermaid Chair" by Sue Monk Kidd? Two of my favorite novels!

from hibiscus101 :

what type do you liek to read? cause Eragon is a very easy read and very good. Actually the best book I've read lately is Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult.

from dinahsoar :

Okay, I'm sure I missed some vital information, but who is Milkman & WHY is he Milkman? I know I missed a couple of entries, so maybe I'm just lazy ... but I even checked your "cast" & found none such.

from dinahsoar :

I love your observation that animals love us because they are lonely and that maybe that is why we love them back. Simple & profound. Thanks.

from dinahsoar :

I wish you luck!

from aigre-douce :

<b>GOOD LUCK!!!</b> <3333

from strangerlucy :

whiner- you? not hardly! your writing never comes off that way to me. in fact, i'm usually nodding my head in agreement as i read, or smiling because i can usually relate feelings you express to situations i've been through in my own life or with friends/family. all in all- and without really knowing the guy, i keep thinking "R, you must be a really decent guy- except you're a knucklehead because you're letting M slip through your hands". Because that is a classic knucklehead move ;)

from aigre-douce :

Thanks for your comment. I felt a lot better after reading it. :) I think you're right about Uncle Dad. The thing is that Aunt Mom is his second wife, although he divorced from his ex wife when I was a baby, and they've been married about 12 years. Thankfully, I can't ever imagine Aunt Mom doing anything like that . . . but then again, if you'd asked me, I never would've thought that about Uncle Dad, either. = / Yeah, I'm trying to find sugar-free alternatives to my cravings, but I don't think that's really healthy, either. After all, I'm not getting rid of the craving then, just modifying my body's sugar intake.

from aigre-douce :

OHHHHHHH! I did know what that was about, then. For some reason (go ahead, laugh if you will), I was thinking Durham was in (*gulp*) Great Britain! Man, I am an idiot! Also, I didn't see that note about lj until just now, and I've been periodically checking my notes . . . I wonder why it didn't show up. Computers are so weird! Ugh. Have fun on your trip though! And yeah, I hate breakups too . . . which reminds me of something else I need to include in my update (which I'm writing now, in another window). Thankssss! <3333333

from aigre-douce :

Misty! I have reread your older entries, and still cannot remember why you are going to Durham. Help me out! Also, my adress is still 170 Boulevard SE Apt C302 Atlanta, GA 30312. Btw, back-to-school shopping was always my favorite, even though I was working on a limited budget. I liked your letter to the Cuban restaurant. I need to make a similar one to Mexican restuarants about giving me lemons when I specifically ask for limes. I don't know what the deal is. Honestly. Have a great trip! I'm updating tonight!!

from dinahsoar :

Hi! Just checking in to let you know I'm still reading. I'm just so low tech & computer illiterate that I have no idea what today's entry means (I don't know from OS). I especially enjoyed your recent note to the Cuban restaurant. Funny!

from sparkspark :

Consideration and willingness to work on solving problems, I think, make a huge difference in relationships. I say this totally theoretically, of course, and not based on any personal experience. And, happy birthday, much-belated!

from aigre-douce :

Hey hey hey! Because I'm tired of dealing with people I'd rather not, I'm making my LJ friends-only. However, I still want you to be able to read it if you want, so please get a LJ account (it's free), so you can continue reading (if you so like). I just wanted to include you. Sorry I haven't updated here lately; I SWEAR everytime I try to, the server is down and/or it loses my update mysteriously. Gah. But I will update soon. Love ya!

from dinahsoar :

I love it that you're not cynical about relationships & marriage - it's very refreshing.

from aigre-douce :

Yayyyy for staying in pj's all day!! Isn't it funny how personal mixed CDs really are?? <333

from aigre-douce :

Happy Birthday indeed!

from invisibledon :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. Onebluegreen. :)

from bluemeany :

Hey, thanks for favrit-izing me, and for the nice link in your diary. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

from sparkspark :

You got it. And yes, please feel free to call me Diego! He had an adventurous life, as I understand it--I could do a lot worse. (i.e., my current life.) Some preliminary photos of my other mural are up on my website, as well.

from dinahsoar :

Hi O-B-G, Just wanted to let you know (in case you don't read my entry today - but you better, anyway!), that I'm going to Hawaii for a week & won't be posting again until Friday, 7/22. Didn't want you to give up on me & stop reading. Take care. I'll write you on my return.

from sparkspark :

Thank you, Ms. M! I'm excited about the mural. And the Boy, of course, although his chest isn't quite as buff as the Green Rooster's. (Whose is?) So, I owe you a big apology about my last drawing for you! Life has been just a tad crazy, but that's no excuse. Are you waiting for it, or have you gone on ahead? I'm slapping myself in the head for my laggardliness, if that is a word.

from dinahsoar :

I like that. I'm going to borrow it, okay? Here I go trying it ... I am happy for the changes that are taking place within my life. There. I do feel better. Accepting "what is" IS what is. Thanks for the mantra. I plan to use it liberally.

from dinahsoar :

Thanks for the birthday greetings!

from dinahsoar :

Thank you so much for your note. I actually have always dreamed of publishing but stayed safe by never really trying & always believing maybe I could. I started my diary just for personal catharsis, but am getting wonderful comments such as yours that are reigniting my dream. I'm hoping to turn my diary into a book. It is writing itself. Thanks for reading & for your support.

from dinahsoar :

Lunar moth sounds really exotic. It would be a good book title. Lunar Moth (maybe a collection of short stories).

from dinahsoar :

I have a friend who lived in Virginia for awhile & loved it. It must be beautiful. I also forgot to answer your question - my birthday is July 8th.

from dinahsoar :

Thank you so much for your note. Somehow I had lost track of you & had no idea you were still reading my stuff. I looked through your archives today, as well as today's entry. I really enjoy your writing style & observations. Are you currently in London? I'm so sorry to hear of the bombings. Stay safe & thanks again for your comment. I'm adding you to my faves. Keep in touch!

from sparkspark :

"Those women who say _I know I am high maintenance_ Men who are proud they are dicks. " Exactly. And yet they get away with it! Why?

from strangerlucy :

heh, maybe govt guy and the guy between him and big arms are having a subconscious male threat reaction to all of big arms' testosterone vibe, so they're growing hair because you can't exactly grow big arms overnight. (creating subliminal hormonal conflicts since 1957, that's me)

from strangerlucy :

is she using her litter box ok? probably too young for a u.t.i., but make sure the kitty is able to pee, maybe.

from strangerlucy :

your closer cracked me up this morning. well, no matter what you decide, inertia and stagnation will never be on your resume.

from sparkspark :

I was looking at that non-razor-yet-still-razor-shaped Nair shebang. I am not ashamed to say that I contemplated buying it. And yet... the fear kicked in, and I went for the next oddest thing: razor blades embedded in soap. I can't remember what it's called, but it's thoroughly ludicrous. AND, in other news, I owe you drawings and haven't forgotten--I'm so sorry about the delay. I will send them manana--the stupid scanner here crashes every time I try to use it.

from sparkspark :

Thanks, bella! It's crazy, isn't it? You'd think they'd want us to do well. The dysfunction of it all is so so mundane, I should be used to it and disregard, but still I fall into the trap occasionally. Thanks for your comment--when you put it that way, it all seems logical and devoid of family weirdness.

from strangerlucy :

aw, congratulations to your friend- and i assume you're sort of honorary aunt?

from strangerlucy :

heh- at least the more blunt candidate#1 sounds more well rounded than #2 (who seems tantric-ly one track minded)

from strangerlucy :

maybe your mom could discuss something like wellbutrin with her doc. when i took it for several months last year, i dropped 10 lbs, and was much less interested in food. side effects were almost nil (like mild insomnia, vivid dreaming).

from strangerlucy :

i laughed at your brother's email, too, because it sounds a lot like me, except i probably don't fart as much, at least not on purpose, hah. you're not a meanie like i am- i'd have stared down dad's hairline until he asked what i was staring at. i'd fake a nervous "oh nothing", and eventually he'd panic and get twitchy that he was losing his hair. oh wait, that's what i do to my husband if he's put his foot in his mouth re: me.

from sparkspark :

I can't open your pig drawing! Can you e-mail me the link? When I saw mine again, I laughed, because it's so wiggly. I have no mouse control. Also, I forgot to draw a tail, and I guess that means... no tail. Drag. Anyway, I want to see yours!

from sparkspark :

No worries! Whenever works for you. At the moment, my entries are all out-of-order, but I'm rearranging them and should be through soon. And I very very much love your response to the Keelhauler's rudeness! Perhaps I'll give it a shot.

from dinahsoar :

You read ALL my entries? You now know me better than anyone in my family. Thanks!

from dinahsoar :

Hi. I just stumbled upon your diary. It is visually beautiful and emotionally touching. I relate to so much. I am a July child, too. Rubie & larkspur. Also, I lost my father in 2003 and my mother is still grieving so hard (they were married 61 years & were truly best friends). In 1985, my mother struggled with cancer and has been fine ever since. Thank you for this window into your world and the resonance I found there.

from aigre-douce :

Glad to hear about the energy healing session. On a related note, yesterday my feet were aching super badly (from working for the last week plus straight; thus being on my feet ALL DAY EVERY DAY), and I mentioned this to one of my coworkers. Said coworker suggested that I go walk around on some grass, and explained that as weird as it sounded, the earth energy would heal my feet. She said that she'd read it somewhere, and when she had a fever once, she went and laid on the grass for about an hour to try it out. When she got up, her fever was gone. Desperate and finally having an excuse to go to the park, James and I went and spent a few hours at Piedmont Park (downtown in the Midtown area of Atlanta - sprawling park smack dab in the middle of skyscrapers) yesterday, and was stretched out on the grass for hours, reading. When I got up . . . . MY FEET FELT WONDERFUL! I don't think this is a mind over matter thing, either, because I just don't have that sort of faith for something I don't really believe in, and those puppies hurt soooooo badly. It was incredible.

from aigre-douce :

AAAAAAAAAGH! I've heard stories of this penis breaking phenomenon, but I've never known anyone who knew anyone it actually happened to!! This is news. I get that lonely feeling too, but it's usually when I realize I've cut everybody out of my life, and then I feel like it's too late to make apologies, even though it's not that serious. I'm terrible about that sort of thing . . . obviously. Love you!

from mwelosteb :

hey onebluegreen, was lookin at ur profile and it looked wiked. hope to talk to u soon xxx

from aigre-douce :

Glad to hear your stepfather is doing better. I got your package, and it's AWESOME!!! It was perfect timing, too; Monday was so crappy that I didn't take a step outside of my apartment until that evening, and then I got your package. THANK YOU! Good luck with the siblings and family. Hope it's not too stressful. You're awesome, by the way.

from sparkspark :

I say, laugh. Laugh, and revel in your new-found understanding of the working man.

from aigre-douce :

What happened???

from strangerlucy :

hugs to you, M. is he on morphine? in my mom's last days, the morphine resulted in repetitious behaviors (her fingers always moving along the blanket,- back to her assembly line work. constant conversations, even in sleep, with people we couldn't see, etc.). I hope the hospice support staff will help find something to soothe him and to make it easier for you to care for him now.

from aigre-douce :

YES! I GET A SURPRISE!!! Man, I am SO excited.

from aigre-douce :

Today during my free time, I have been playing catch-up with your diary. Re: Dentures entry; I am always worried about offending J., and he always assures me I can't, so to stop worrying about doing so. We're in this together, Misty. :)

from minxmokalita :

details at 5.

from strangerlucy :

sorry things with nc didn't work out, but I think you're going to do fine without him. you've got so much going for you.not to minimize the differences he points out, but it sounds like he's the biggest limitation to where the relationship could go. looking forward to seeing a photo of your artwork whenever you get around to posting one :)

from sparkspark :

Hi, Bella--I love your new design! I look forward to your updates, too. XOX Violet

from minxmokalita :

In case you were not aware, I updated on a very surprising turn of events. <333

from aigre-douce :

Glad you feel better. Looking back over his reply, I completely see where you would have been offended after all. Pompous ass. And I am right there with you about breaking up with people. But then, you already know that. :) On that note, there's definitely an update coming your way very soon, if you get my drift. <333

from sparkspark :

Bella donna--it's not just insulting. That message is like a giant wet blanket to the soul! If there's any way you can disregard it, I hope you can. XOX Violet

from strangerlucy :

whoa- yes, I get why you feel insulted, but the tone is more shotgun pellet spray. I felt a vibe that it generates more from him, targeting anyone who he perceives isn't making the sacrifices he feels that he's been called upon to make, and sees himself as making. and that he feels everyone ought to be doing. I guess, without knowing him, I would imagine someone let him down (the ex?) to follow their own path that left him sacrificing to pick up the slack. something like that comes through.....

from strangerlucy :

your reactions sound normal to me (meaning it sounds familiar). you seem to be tuned in well to your feelings, but I see why you'd feel a little grief/ support therapy is in order to help maintain your strength. hugs to you.

from courtneymay :

By the way, I think you make the most of your time on earth better than anyone I know. I think it's a good idea to go talk to someone. It will help you release your anger or emotions, and it's a good way to make sure you are taking care of yourself and your own feelings about the cancer, which in turn, makes you a better caretaker for your mother. I went after my dad's 4th heart attack. I always think that if I didn't I may have eventually imploded.

from courtneymay :

oh WOW, i just got the post you sent me to work. What an amazing surprise, and incredibly thoughtful. i can't wait until lunch so i can flip each page . . .

from courtneymay :

oh, that's hilarious, misty! i got a ticket in roanoke over a year ago and completely missed the date. i happened to be looking through some papers to get organized for it - which i thought was weeks away - and realized i was supposed to be there that day. strangely, nc insurance is so low that my insurance here is cheaper, even with the ticket. (34 in a 25 - not a big deal, anyway). on the note side - write it! you have no idea how far notes go. (i'm thinking you do know, actually). it will make his day and inspire him to keep doing good work. good luck in nyc!!

from strangerlucy :

i'm glad they added you onto the call rather than make you return on the scheduled date. too bad the stinkers wouldn't grant you a deferred prosecution, but even so, the points ought to be minimal at <10 miles over. you're not alone in scheduling errors; we showed up at the airport for a flight once at the right time, but a day late. oops. back then, airlines were a bit more accommodating and let us board that day since the flight had space left. we're much more careful now & triple check :)

from aigre-douce :

1)The blood thing is very interesting. If I got to see my blood, I think I would be much more motivated to be healthy, only so I could see the difference the next month. 2)I completely agree with your comments on the videocamera, for the same reasons. "Continual streaming of bad photos." Aye.

from aigre-douce :

I wish I had a shortage of the flu. Instead, I have had it every two or three weeks since fall started.

from aigre-douce :

I wish I had a shortage of the flu. Instead, I have had it every two or three weeks since fall started.

from aigre-douce :

I will, I will! I'm afraid to use the word 'promise', though, because that means I'll jinx myself.

from aigre-douce :

Obviously I'm behind on reading diaries; I worked 56+ hours last week, so I'm just getting caught up. Anyway, this note is in reply to the cell phone entry. Before my cousin L. came out to me, I had my suspicions. I didn't view it in a negative light, but I was curious. At any rate, one afternoon his phone called me, but apparently he was on the line with someone else. How his phone did that, I'll never understand. I thought he was just playing around, pretending he didn't know I had answered my phone, and was just talking out loud to someone else, so I waited to overhear him jokingly say something bad about me. Anyway, apparently he wasn't joking around, but was really on the line with someone else. He'd called me and then got a beep, so since I hadn't answered yet, he beeped over to the other call. He got to talking about his weekend, and was like, "Yeah, I met this guy last night I was really attracted to . . . ." After listening guiltily for a minute or so, I hung up. He called me a few minutes later, completely unfazed. I told him he'd called me but when I'd answered, he acted like he didn't realize I was on the phone, so after hearing part of his conversation and realizing he didn't know, I hung up. The next day when he came over for dinner, I confronted him about the conversation and let him know that his lifestyle was okay by me, and that he didn't have to hide anything. The whole situation was kind of interesting.

from aigre-douce :

You haven't updated in a few days . . . is everything okay?

from lolamae :

I don't know what the handwashing symbolizes! You could be right about the disease idea. You should look it up. Lots of people have been having strange dreams lately.

from lolamae :

Thank you so much for that sweet note. Have a super day!(and holiday)

from lolamae :

I happend upon your diary and we have a lot in common at the moment. I am feeling the same way you are with the crying and all. I wish you a good weekend and hope you start feeling better.

from aigre-douce :

I am sorry to hear about your stepfather's stroke.

from aigre-douce :

Where do you get all your fortunes?

from courtneymay :

i'm thinking of you. i'm reminded of the margaret atwood story "happy endings" where it says "everyone tells her crying is bad for your face." do what you need to. i'm so glad you went to see sedaris. rent old snl episodes or laugh in episodes - you'll be surprised how much they help you and your mom (i did this when a friend was suffering from a long illness - it did wonders for her). keeping you in mind!

from invisibledon :

glad to hear your mom is doing better - still keeping a good thought about her recovery

from aigre-douce :

Thank you. I laughed when I checked my mail (right after that update), because you had just left me a note. I didn't mean to sound as if I were begging for notes, I just commented on the irony. Thank you for the notes. If you haven't already read it, I emailed you. Hope your mom is doing better.

from invisibledon :

hope your mom is okay

from snideblonde :

I hope your Momma is okay... my heart goes out to you! Try not to worry too much. :)

from wanders :

I'm sorry to hear about your mom and her clot. I work in a hospital, and this is not an uncommon situation. Not that it will make you feel better, but clots or DVTs are actually pretty common and seem to be more prevelant in the older poplution. As long as they know about it and have her on some form of blood thinner (like you said she was), she'll be just fine and back to herself in a day or two. I'll be wishing for a speedy recovery for her.

from strangerlucy :

interesting that your c0mmonwlth boss wasn't very good at looking at law (life, too?) outside the box. he probably didn't realize that your willingness to look at something from different angles would make you the better attorney as well had it been something you chose to continue. good reading/food for thought- as usual, m :)

from aigre-douce :

I'm very envious of your new camera. I need you to resend me your address as I cannot find it anywhere and am overdue in sending you post cards. Also, what are art tattoos?

from invisibledon :

poleless 5 yr. old skiers are called gravity bombs in skier lingo - and yes they are rather intimidating at least you were brave enough to go buy any book i'm still working up the courage to do that.

from soverycherry :

One of our guards was telling me about the pregnant smoking lady this morning. I usually read the paper every night but I somehow missed that one. This city never fails to amaze me.

from aigre-douce :

What about those storage places that offer air conditioning/heating that you have to pay for? What is that considered as?

from strangerlucy :

almost missed your card in yesterday's mail- that is until J was reading his sports paper late last night and found it tucked between the pages (darn mailman!) and asked me if I'd seen it. No! thank you for making me smile :) What a breathtaking view greeted your arrival. I'm doing better- knitting many scarves for my sisters', niecess, daughter's holiday gifts... oh, maybe I shouldn't mention this, but when I read about R, it seems he still sends you mixed signals, which must baffle you. Maybe it's a wrong impression on my part, but it almost seems he keeps a part of himself tied to you romantically- do you get that feeling, too? *insert head scratch here*

from aigre-douce :

Bon voyage!

from aigre-douce :

I love those lamps!

from wanders :

You actually put my bug situation into perspective. I can deal with spiders, but I honestly don't think I could deal with snakes. That would be the end of this house for me. Hopefully you are not as deathly afraid of them as I am, and if you aren't, then you are one brave woman!

from wanders :

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. She sounded very special.

from wanders :

I'm very sorry to hear about your cat. I always find it amazing how such little creatures become so huge and so special to us. My dog--my baby--died 2-1/2 years ago, and I found this poem, and it made me feel better, even though every time I read it, to this very day, it makes me cry. Hopefully it will make you feel a little better too. Here's a link: http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

from hibiscus101 :

Oh! I was at work about a month ago and I wanted to share this with you, In my localpaper they were having a celebration for the "ArtMart" that came here. So now even maine has vending machine art.

from aigre-douce :

That's even MORE insane!! I loooooooove seafood, most especially shrimp. In fact, last night we ordered in Chinese food, and I had the shrimp lo mein. It's cool, you can still be my mentor :D

from wanders :

Have a great birthday!

from courtneymay :

happy birthday!

from courtneymay :

m - is jonzo getting married? oh wow!!!

from wanders :

Thanks for the note, not that it is exactly what one wants to hear, but it is reality I guess. In the grand scheme if things though, it isn't as big of a deal as I tend to make it out to be. Good luck with your NC man. I bid you good luck, and if you need a little drama, I always have extra to spare. :-)

from novembre :

i tried to leave this in your guestbook, but the guestbook gods hate me (at least i anticipated such smiting, and copied the comment so that i could maybe spit it here): regarding one entry back: one of the few actual regrets i feel worth lamenting on about high school is that i never got drunk and kissed anyone in bushes. i just never had that in me. (and thanks for checking up on me, even though i was locked. i appreciate it.)

from explodingboy :

re: adulthood. Agreed, and isn't it sad. - eb*

from invisibledon :

Hey - yeah it's been a while - I've been working mostly and onlymake it to the CI every now and then - not much fun in invisible don town

from invisibledon :

what up doc?

from aigre-douce :

Why is your diary doing this: Stepford W1ves ? Did you do that on purpose? It did that with other words as well.

from aigre-douce :

Oh, it's true. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I can identify with those that feel helpless because of a lack of it, and then feel like other ppl controll decisions I make b/c they may pay for things, etc. I'm not nearly as strong as I thought I was.

from parlance :

One fish, two fish, red fish, BLUE fish.

from courtneymay :

thank you thank you thank you SO MUCH for my knitting book and that beautiful yarn! i love it. what a wonderful present. you are the bomb, and i loved sitting with you and your jet-set artist life. i wish we lived closer. have a good day off!

from aigre-douce :

Did you like Run Lola Run?

from aigre-douce :

Did you like Run Lola Run?

from cdghost :

as always enjoyed your words

from aigre-douce :

congrats!! i had mine done last month...muhaha.

from tom-seb-jak :

STAT!

from courtneymay :

i haven't seen any of the docs, but i will be at michael moore's presentation sat. night. i don't know what films i'll see, or if i'll even have the time this weekend. this building is crazy right now! i think you'll have a great time, and i'll be looking around for you tomorrow at registration!!!

from invisibledon :

hey - one of my friends said they stopped by and saw your work at the studio - they liked it and left you a note.

from courtneymay :

you should let me know what films you're attending, because Thursday and Friday, you and i will be in THE VERY SAME BUILDING!!! of course, you will be watching movies, and i will be working. my office is right the first balcony of the main stage, where they will be showing some of the films. is RHWD coming to any of the films? he is your film teacher, right? who are your teachers? so many questions! it will be so rad to see your face!

from aigre-douce :

I know exactly what you mean. For instance, if it was not for James, I'd try to find a way to move to New Orleans. Instead, we're moving to Mobile. The thing of it is, however, making decisions keeping other people in mind (James) makes me feel better for some reason. Safer, maybe? I don't know. And I can't tell you how many plans I've changed to help console other people, etc.

from aigre-douce :

Would you be offended if I used the yellow girl template by Lex you used to have? I may or may not use it, but I thought I'd ask first. :)

from oli-f :

Hehe, thanks for the note...plastic beer thingies are driving me mad now, I think it's one of life's great mysteries...

from aigre-douce :

That is weird! Though I must admit, it does make more sense. Owen Wilson is hilarious, as well as charming and good looking. My mom never knows which actors are which, but I was telling her how I'd seen Starsky and Hutch, and I said it had Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson in it. I was trying to think of a movie she's seen that Owen Wilson was in, and she was like, "Yeah, he was the blond ex-boyfriend in Meet the Parents", which for whatever reason, I hadn't remembered. I was very startled she knew that. Starsky and Hutch is such a funny movie. Have fun! Oh, and I finally got to see Lost in Translation, and liked it verrry much. Especially since Scarlett Johannesen (sp) had a certified tummy in it, and was not stick-thin, cute as she was. I now have to watch more of her work, as well as the Suicide Diaries. Sorry for the rambling!

from aigre-douce :

That article was very interesting. Did you know that 'bohemian' used to be a term used to referred to lesbians?

from aigre-douce :

Installation art is so cool.

from courtneymay :

do you mean the full frame documentary film festival in durham, because most of this festival is housed at THE THEATRE WHERE I WORK!!!! wow - it would be cool to see you!

from aigre-douce :

Were the chalkboard and the other things from the Swell collection? If so, I've seen that chalkboard, and it IS cute.

from aigre-douce :

I'm glad you had a nice V-Day weekend, even if was platonic. I really like the way you wrote that entry, by the way.

from courtneymay :

it's VD weekend. god, no, don't get VD!!!!

from invisibledon :

I'm the kind of college prof that wants the dbl spacing on papers allows for a quicker reading time and the dreaded ink stabbing with our favorite color pens RED .. although I'm not to harsh on that part. You could teach you know, how would you want to read 20 to 30 papers?

from invisibledon :

thanks for doing my trulymadly survey - Happy V-day to you too - is there an art show this year?

from aigre-douce :

Regarding the Optional Fields information: Thank you so much! I'll now have to play with these, of course. Hahahhaa. <33333

from aigre-douce :

Optional fields like when you update your diary, and at the bottom, it has Optional Field #1, Optional Field #2, and Optional Field #3, and possibly #4, I can't remember. What are those for, what do you do with them?

from aigre-douce :

What are optional fields?

from aigre-douce :

Prom is kind of like a dress rehearsal for getting married one day. All that prepping that you have to go through, all the stress, etc, etc. Which is why it makes me nervous to think of this prom/wedding nexus . . . My prom date stood me up.

from aigre-douce :

I'm glad you liked it! :D

from aigre-douce :

*hope

from aigre-douce :

I'm tired of getting hurt, too. All of my ohpe and faith for things to get better for me and James has run out, and I am not comforted at all by his last livejournal post. For Christmas I would like to receive a huge concussion and amnesia, so I won't have to remember how things used to be anymore, and I won't care. It's getting hard not to cry all the time now when he obviously doesn't want me around, he snaps at me, and forgets to say he loves me when we get off the phone. Hurray for the chocolates you got, I'm happy one of us has been showed some sort of affection.

from aigre-douce :

I'm sorry your family is going through some really tough times right now. I hope your holidays do turn out really well, and magical. Love, Lauren

from invisibledon :

Happy Holidays -2003 keep upt your knitting

from onewetleg :

mfer, cocksucker, bastard, SOB . . . are all words that refer to men. a man who has sex with his mother. a man who sucks other mens cocks. a man born out of wedlock. and insulting a man's mother. i don't think these really are used against women at all. maybe i'm getting the wrong idea. good point though. love,

from onewetleg :

oh, if your hair is all virgin then you shouldn't have any problem with henna. i love henna. i was a henna head all through highschool. you're gonna be gorgeous! love,

from aigre-douce :

Sorry R is being such an ass.

from aigre-douce :

Sorry R is being such an ass.

from aigre-douce :

Thank you so much! Do I have to do anything to activate it?

from aigre-douce :

Two other things: I got a VillagePhotos account, and it's not letting me upload the images, which is the problem. Oh, and James has been online, and hasn't emailed me. Go read his lj, look at the comments, and you'll see what I mean.

from aigre-douce :

It is 10:41 PM here, 8:42 PM in Cali. And I've yet to hear from him all day. Annnnnnd his cell phone is either off, or getting no signal, cause it goes straight to voicemail.

from aigre-douce :

I saw Stitch and Bitch the other day! It made me think of you, and I wondered if you had it. I'm happy knowing you do, hahaha.

from aigre-douce :

I wonder if calming atomizers work on humans ...Hmm, if so, I'll buy one asap.

from aigre-douce :

Rainbow parties????? More like Rain*blow* parties!! Honestly! Wtf. I'm 19 and have never heard of such nonsense. Gahhhhhh that gives me the creeps!!

from aigre-douce :

Thanks Misty :)

from cdghost :

pretty layout and tasty words :)

from invisibledon :

Happy Halloween 03

from onewetleg :

yeesh. the note sounds creepy. but i may be getting it out of context. be careful. love, j

from snideblonde :

Hey, bella. Here's the info if you're still interested; snideblonde password: purple

from aigre-douce :

No silly!!!! I was making you a fortune since you didn't get one with your food! I made that up to cheer you up.

from aigre-douce :

Today's Fortune: Your open-mindedness makes you wise as well as a fabulous friend. :) Lucky Numbers: 7, 13, 11, 42

from aigre-douce :

To be quite frank, I had a short, heavy period. So I didn't get to try the Insteads on a 'light' day as suggested. I need to practice placement, they keep leaking somehow. And I did watch the video. We're apartment hunting; we should be able to move within the November period.

from aigre-douce :

I hope you feel better. I'm glad you're doing what's making you happy, though. That's what I've been thinking about a lot lately. That I may not be living my life the way people in my church/family/parents would want (hello, I'm moving in with James, obv. having sex w/him, and no, we're not married), but you know what? It's my life, and I'll be happy. I'm not ruining anyone's life, I'm just doing what I want and what I believe is right. I hope you continue to do the same, too. Again, hope you feel better!!

from hibiscus101 :

thank very much for the advice:)

from aigre-douce :

They are comfortable, that's not the problem. I think it's not going far enough back or something. It's a spillage issue.

from aigre-douce :

Am trying Insteads. Quite tricky.

from aigre-douce :

I know what you mean about re-reading older entries, why you're writing, etc, etc. I did that recently, just to clear some things out, and really wished the me-now could have talked to the me-then. I would have given her a huge hug, told her to move on, and would probably have cried with her at some points, still. I would have done things differently, but of course. Hindsight is 20/20.

from onewetleg :

i liked that entry alot. i read through my older entries all the time. the reason for me to keep an online journal it that i cant read my own hand writing. especially if i am upset or buzzed or both. sheesh. i think the community is a big part of it too. reading, responding, being read and responded to really means alot to me. yeah. im not really sure what im trying to say here. but im glad you're here. thanks. love, jj

from aigre-douce :

I see the flower. Look in the middle of it. He has a long beard that he must put eggwhites in, haha.

from aigre-douce :

Good lord, update much?? Just kidding. I was thrown off at first by the new template. Way to go with the inkblot thing....I've get to decide what I think it is, though I do enjoy how one part looks like Satan's head, ah ha. Somehow I missed that the woman riding the bus was a teacher when you told me that last night. That makes it even better. Congrats on the email sending, it probably is a better idea than the stay and wait thing. Good luck!

from jonzo :

I remember that tiem i showed up to help you and Inkblot move the sofa from your studio to her house, and there was that handicapped short bus and I wondered who you guys robbed to get hat thing, then you guys were wondering where i got it, when in actuality it was just randomly out in front of the studio. Yeah, good times with buses.

from aigre-douce :

Also! I'm v. excited about Toy Camera Day, and will try to fix mine to join in, or just save a whole bunch of bad pictures I take that day (b/c of the camera, n'est pas moi), and send it back. B/c I used it this summer, and took a bunch, and only one came out, and that one was red all around it. However, I somehow lost said picture, and cannot send it back without a messed up picture. At any rate. Thanks for getting me all hyped up about picture day, hahaha. Awesome cameras!

from aigre-douce :

Good gravy! I don't get on Diaryland for a few days, and this is what I miss! Never again!!! I'm v. impressed by your letter to R. You're completely right. You're much more of a folk to me, and I haven't even slept with you. Haha. Also, I think it's good you immortalized his horrible outfit, hahaha. Just kidding. I know what you mean, by getting that 'he just emailed me!' feeling. I get that right before the phone rings, too. Interesting. Have a great day, and good luck.

from aigre-douce :

from jonzo :

Can I not wash them before i take them to Goodwill? Will they wash them?

from courtneymay :

i have wanted to knit forever and ever and have NO IDEA what to do about it! do i just go to joanne's and buy some needles and a starter book? i don't really have the bones for a cool class. i just want something to do while i try to quit smoking - i feel like if i knitted during commercial breaks i wouldn't go outside to smoke. *sigh*

from aigre-douce :

Psh, you can talk about R all you want. That's what writing is for; venting, collecting your thoughts. Hope your dermatologist doesn't read your diary, haha. I have porcelain skin---with red acne scars. Yeah, as soon as I get the money, microdermabrasion, what's up.

from strangerlucy :

R is certainly a master of ambiguity; it does sound like he's holding back a bit, but then I don't know him so my perceptions don't mean too much. I know what you mean about trying so as to avoid regrets. I'd rather take a chance and end up hurt (or not) than to live with that damn limbo of what if.

from strangerlucy :

aw thanks for 'keeping me' :) as for the soldier marriages, I wonder if the administration is more worried about pissing off the muslim male population/ social order by the intermarriage than they are concerned with the disobedience per se. you're right though- much more palatable than the typical war stories told by women

from aigre-douce :

Holy crap. You mean to tell me that not only do you have a red couch, but also a remote-controlled fireplace now, too??? That's it, I'm coming to Roanoke, be on the lookout.

from aigre-douce :

I forgot to tell you yesterday, sorry. Those purses you made are remarkably pretty! My favorites are 012, the tote, and 015. V. pretty. Hope you have fun tonight.

from aigre-douce :

Glad you're okay

from aigre-douce :

Hey hey hey! I like the modeling idea; it'd be fun. And you may not have horses (haha, that's funny), but you do seem to have a beautiful view from your bedroom room. I'm jealous. The view from my room is a surburban street, so I just see cookie-cutter houses. And our house is a single-story. Lucky lucky lucky you.

from aigre-douce :

Nope, I've never seen Cookie's Fortune, but will do so ASAP. Thank you very much for the recommendation, ma'am. I was wondering if there were others I'd missed. I'm so renting that tomorrow night, now. Thank you so much.

from aigre-douce :

Thank you for the note. There's just been too much stuff I've gone through in not enough time, and it just overwhelmed me. I'm good now, though. On other subjects: Where's the link for the What Inner Color Are You quiz? I was going to go back and take it, but alas, no link. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

from coppersky :

i like the way you write, grim weeder.

from strangerlucy :

I know you're feeling bad about killing that big ass spider, but you didn't notice that group of happy and relieved little bugs clapping wildly with all 3 pairs of legs. If you're out of oven cleaner- I found that citrus cleaner sprays make a nice (fast) substitute).

from jjscrush :

i love you x3!!! not only did you link to me but to htmlgoodies too! im so glad i found you. its nice to read your entries. they calm me. and i like the babelfish thingy. thanks xa million! love, jj

from jjscrush :

what to say. people can be vague. i enjoy your writing. see ya tomorrow? love, jj

from onewetleg :

im not sure what the phenomenon means. there are alot of ones though. i got into this because of a young fellow named onedarksoul. it made me wonder...how many could there be? thanks for participating. love, jj

from jjscrush :

hi. i am collecting diaries that start with 'one' because my main diary is onewetleg and i tend to latch onto ideas and run. also i would like to invite you to join my diaryring. its called the-ones of course. write me and let me know, please, if you have time. thank you for considering. love, jj

from aigre-douce :

Sadly, Amelie's hairstyle only works on occassion. I <i>did</i> look like a redheaded Amelie Sunday night when we went out, though. Straightened my hair, and wore Amelie-red lipgloss, plus Amelie-esque shoes. Quite cute, if I do say so myself. But I do work on the sophistication thing. I have to, I'm only five feet tall! Haha.

from aigre-douce :

I don't. I want to just work right now so I can work on buying a car and not rely on everyone else for rides. Puh. I have a plan; we'll trade places! I'll work, you go to school. Deal? Ooh, and you should check out my newest entry; it's chock-full of pics/links.

from invisibledon :

Have a great holiday weekend 8/29/03

from invisibledon :

maybe blueberry pancakes!

from golfwidow :

Well, the "stalkingu" person has apparently given up on "stalkingme" so I'm unlocked again. Thanks for being so supportive. You're awesome. :)

from aigre-douce :

Your diary is acting up, are you changing the template or something?? Lauren

from caradawn :

thanks for the note. i crocheted a scarf for my boyfriend for christmas a couple years ago. he actually adored it, but i was unaware of such curse, as we are now not together. ;)

from strangerlucy :

so the man comes a lonnnng way home(originally hoping to surprise you at a b-day party), spends a lot of time with you NOT pushing sex (even if he wouldn't have to push), talks to you, cleans, wants to gauge you in certain circumstances- hmmm- sounds like he is SERIOUS. Cautious, but serious. I'm wondering if he has started keeping a pro/con list on paper somewhere- if so, watch out- he's getting uber-serious.

from aigre-douce :

Your new dress sounds rad!

from crnflkgirl :

I am glad I could help, even though I really wasn't much help...I am always afraid of getting in the way. Well, didn't ride bull...got home a realize many things left undone and haven't been feeling too good as of late, so thought heavy drinking and rapid motion might not be in order. I am so sorry I will miss your studio party...I really would like to go, but have to work. I know Jonzo will have a good time. Take care!

from snideblonde :

ARGGGH! I tried three times to leave you a note in your guestbook, but it won't let me! Anyway, I love the magnets, they're so damn cute, Thank-you! Now, shopping wise, (this is important, so I hope you read your notes) do not go to SOHO, it'll only depress you, only God can afford those prices. Go to the website www.dailycandy.com- and check out the sample sales. Most of them are in the fashion district and the showrooms are in the same building, you can pick up some really stunningly beautiful clothes for cheap- and at a fraction of the retail price. Good luck.

from strangerlucy :

oops, I forgot to answer your question- we leave for Seattle on May 7th.

from jonzo :

Yes, a certain friedn can probably wrangle 5 pairs.

from aigre-douce :

No wonder you have a feeling of dread, apparently you are in a two-day difference time zone! Just kidding. I know what you're talking about, I get the same thing. Thankfully, the last time I had it nothing happened. Perhaps the same will go for you today. I really hope you feel better and comforted, b/c dread without knowing the cause is no good. Have an excellent Friday!

from aigre-douce :

Purses and wallets ARE the microcosmos of people's worlds!!! Sadly, I can not fairly answer your purse size/contents challenge, as I cleaned mine out this morning. I'm sorry you had yet another run-in with the Ex, that's never ever fun, no matter what was said b/c you still had to see them. That's how I see it, anyway. Have a grrreat evening!

from aigre-douce :

Watch Amelie!!! It's only the best movie in the whole wide world, and it will inspire you!!!

from aigre-douce :

Know that picture? Oh, wait, he DID cheat on me with her. Goddamn.

from hibiscus101 :

alright ppl help the lil guy out:-P go to www.kiss108.com click on "Medford Idol" and vote for a boy named Arthur so he can move on to the next round.

from jonzo :

Of course you are, and I'll try to pick up extras everywhere I go for you.

from aigre-douce :

Hey. Stupid as it is, I'm locking my diary for the weekend; Mom knows I'm on Dland, and I don't want there to be the slightest chance of her getting in the way of my weekend plans. There's not much in there, anyway, but I emailed you a password if you so desire reading it.

from crnflkgirl :

Where will we be when the redbud visit again? This brings infinite hope in a strange way, doesn't it?

from aigre-douce :

Awww, little kids are so cute. And precious. I love that little girl's story about the gingerbread man and the cookies. Kids are precious. Elliott and I want two (*gasps*; I've never wanted kids before).

from strangerlucy :

too familiar- I, too, left almost every 'thing' behind, and I agreed to joint custody, didn't seek child support although I had most of the physical custody- and no- he wasn't any less bitter despite all of that either. Unlike Lot's wife, I never looked back.

from aigre-douce :

Thanks, I like the template, too. I'm just too intimidated to add any entries, because I have to add all these links manually. Like, if you go to my Archives, there's nothing. I entered the code, and it's just not working. I'm ready to screeeeaaaaammmm. Something funny, which I would put in my diary if I could get the guts up to use it, haha: A girl in one of my classes has a shirt that I've always found ironically funny, but never fully understood until today. It's a shirt, and centered on the front (top) is: <Body>. I saw it today, and now that I'm more familiar with HTML, I could fully appreciate it. I laughed and laughed and laughed, and then was slightly embarassed that I knew what it meant, whereas most people wouldn't get it. I was like, "Ah! I finally get your shirt!" And in whispers we gleefully confessed our obsessions with online diaries. It was great. Thought you might enjoy the irony.

from aigre-douce :

Maybe irrelevant, but interesting all together-- Your last entry is dated as though you wrote it tomorrow. Odd.

from aigre-douce :

I'll pray for R's health and safety; Elliott gets sick easily, too. Good luck on the leaves and finding/putting things up. I'm so proud; I've been cleaning today, too! Ttyl. Thanks again for the html tutoring, I'm so psyched that I know that now. Still looking for the 'perfect' template, ahha. Have a great Sunday!

from aigre-douce :

I had customers like that today! They didn't know what they wanted, then when I helped them out, they were like, "Uhh, can you do change this, add this, . . . Oh, I'm so broke!" And nothing was wrong with what I had done, they were just super undecisive. But it was okay, I had Barrett's and Chris's humor to save me.

from aigre-douce :

You have to tell me about this condom piece. And what were those prices??? J/k. Seriously, I do want to hear about this, though (the art).

from aigre-douce :

Psssh posh, don't ever worry about giving me pep talks, it doesn't bother me in the least.

from aigre-douce :

Thank you for reminding me that what's meant to be will be. I've been kinda sad today, thinking about how we won't be at the same school this fall b/c there are lots of days I just wish I could share with him, and I think "Wow, Elliott should be here right now", and I know that it's not going to be easy. I thought about breaking up with him, b/c I know it's not easy, but I think it's worth sticking through if we're both committed. Which I am. I just miss him. Thank you for the reminder and your note though, it was extremely timely.

from strangerlucy :

I got your postcard today, too! thanks, it was quite nice to find some cheer in the short yet bonechilling walk to the mailbox :)

from aigre-douce :

Got your postcard, thanks! It's cute!

from aigre-douce :

Thank you, I did have a good time w/E. He's the best boyfriend ever, juvenile as that sounds. :D

from aigre-douce :

*I* viewed your page yesterday. That is odd.

from aigre-douce :

What is this Irish Oatmeal?

from aigre-douce :

I'm glad you got the postcard, strange as it may be. I thought you might want something a little out of the ordinary, and that's definitely one of the main things Enterprise is known for (the other being peanuts). We're such losers, haha. On another note (excuse the pun, haha. . whoa, I'm tired), I told you V-Day in the mail would come around! I'm very happy for you on all accounts.

from strangerlucy :

well the postal service didn't do too badly then- glad you liked them. I don't recall the episode you mentioned, but I wish I had seen it, but I do remember the one with Bill Bixby and that mutant spider that would get bigger every time it got washed down the sink, shiver~~or John Boy Walton as the sin-eater. Hope tomorrow is better for you.

from aigre-douce :

Good glory, yes, I'm glad you got your phone service back. I still haven't recovered from my bout with the phone company, haha. Just kidding! No, but I do remember it well. Phew. Good luck on the search for your high school hero,haha. Ooh, check your mail in a few days! :D

from aigre-douce :

That's amaaaazing! I want to have a Rap Fairy! Was it an actual cd (of hopefully songs you like), or just a playlist of songs? How'd it get there? Did your mom put it there, or was it left from when you slept there? Intriguing!

from aigre-douce :

Yikes, looks like you didn't have the best day, either. Good luck on the car situation. Could new tags be gotten (is that a word?) for the Jeep? I'm sure R wouldn't mind. . . I dunno. Good luck and I hope today's better for you.

from jonzo :

Since Aigre went out and said it, I have to throw in a plug for the good guys here. Some women are fairly clueless as well. I think some of us get lumped into a stereotype by people who have been burned or mistreated by other guys. We're not all insensitive assholes.

from aigre-douce :

I know what you mean about the perfect email. I've done that many a time. Relax. I'm glad you came out and said what you did to him, that you had the courage to do so. To ask and such. It's rough, but don't worry, I'm sure you did fine. Not that you asked, I just wish that I'd had someone to reassure me during my various attempts at Super Email-dom. Most of mine were in the between stage of my r/ship w/E. Like when I emailed him that I don't want us to have all these pretenses anymore, I'm not an obligation to him, and I just want my friend back. And I told him what I needed to, and everything worked out perfectly. Not that I had intended for us to get back together thanks to that email, but I'm definitely not hating it at all. So relax, I'm sure everything will be fine. Kudos for having the courage to come out with it.

from aigre-douce :

Thank you thank you thank you thank you. And it did make sense.

from aigre-douce :

Thank you for your note. Good luck on packages in the mail and on your gallery opening. Yeah, guys are so clueless sometimes. Grrrr. Have a wonderful evening!

from jonzo :

Hey Valentine, Let's Read.

from invisibledon :

Happy Valentines Day @-'---

from aigre-douce :

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you have a wonderful day.

from aigre-douce :

Yeah, I think I'll do what you suggested. Last night Elliott informed me that for some reason his mom wanted to go shopping (clothes shopping, with him) tomorrow night, and as there was all that crap during the Tuscaloosa trip, there's absolutely no arguing/vying for a different time slot. So for Valentine's Day, I'm going to the mall with my boyfriend and his mom. Of course, it won't take long and afterwards we'll go do something, just the two of us, but it makes me feel like I'm in junior high, instead of a semi-adult (18). However, to spice the mall trip up (oh, note: I HATE shopping in general, even if it's for me, which this isn't) and to cheer myself up some. It's ridiculous, but what can you do? I mean, I love his mom. . . but. . . yeah. Well, have a nice afternoon/evening. Speaking of Elliott's mom, I'm going over there this evening to paint the handle of his gift, yay. I'm glad your friend didn't have the baby after all, I think. I hope they're all comfortable and what-not. Thanks again for the suggestions!

from aigre-douce :

Thank you very much for the advice. That's what I was thinking, but any guy I talk to is like, "WEAR IT!!!", which causes me to wonder some more. . . good gravy, it shouldn't be this difficult. How is Pregnant Lady's baby? Well, I'm guessing she isn't (or won't be much longer) "Pregnant" Lady anymore, but you get the point. I hope everything went well, and late as it may be, I will pray for her and the baby. I hope your room is nice and jade(d, haha) now. That is an odd dream. I most enjoyed your "the cake to top all cakes" comment. I laughed out loud, which was risky as I am at school right now, haha. My computer (at home) is being redorkulous and refuses to do anything today, though I've run tests on it and SUPPOSEDLY everything's okay. . . which would be why NOTHING (except Solitaire and Paint, of course) is working, right? Go figure. Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day and your friends (Pregnant Lady and baby) are safe and sound (Pregnant Lady's husband). Good luck on everything, as always. Oh, before I forget - I think I've mentioned this in my diary, but if not, it's resolved, anyway. I have to have a dress (oh, of course!) for the homecoming queen and court thing next Thursday (no dance, just the nominations, go figure), and have decided to wear a swank dress from last year. . . mission accomplished. I'm quite happy right now, so I thought I would share. Thank you for your notes, they always make my day brighter.

from aigre-douce :

Thanks, I'm excited. This morning I called my mom to tell her about it, and immediately she was like, "What do you know about him?" So I told her what I do know about him, having seen him around town and what I've heard about him and so on. So then she asks, "What about the most important??!" By that she meant was he a Christian, which has ceased to be an issue for me, either way. Matt is, but it just annoyed me that, instead of being like, "Reallly? Honey that's great!" like most moms would, she immediately jumps down my throat and interrogates me. As I told her, it's not like I'm dating the guy, I just need an escort. Geee whiz! I'm quite annoyed with her on a number of levels right now, which is why I'm rambling so much, sorry.

from swimmmer72 :

thanks for the visit. i also lived outside of buffalo during THE BLIZZARD of 77, and was lucky that it came at a time that i could go out and enjoy it and marvel at more snow than i had ever seen in my entire life. ah, the memories... :)

from aigre-douce :

I'm sure any jagged edges you may have just add character and diversity to your hair, don't worry.

from aigre-douce :

Congratulations on your encounter with Striking Photo Boy. Perhaps he really knew where your film was and just wanted to get your number in a roundabout way. Yes, though not probable, it is definitely possible. You made an impression, though, and that's what counts. Good luck on Bitter Hearts. I learned how to sew today!. . . but the machine is broken, so I have to do it tomorrow, sigh. Anyway, have a fantabulous Friday!

from aigre-douce :

That's an amazing idea!!! I absolutely love that.

from aigre-douce :

What are Bitter Heart blocks, if you don't mind me asking?

from aigre-douce :

Hey, I just read your recent entries. . .that camera IS the cutest! Good luck on Hot Boy; perhaps you should just make sure to look amazingly cute (by coincidence only, of course) the next time you go to the film place.

from aigre-douce :

Thank you so much for your notes, they always make me feel a bit better. As for the maybe-camera, I am definitely interested if you're still offering. I hope you've had a better night than I.

from strangerlucy :

the other is at livejournal, but is locked except to friends, so you can't see it unless you happen to have an lj -if you do, let me know and I'll send you the link. ( but I don't write much there anyway- I tend to use it mainly to comment in other friend's diaries). We're just freezing here without the snow that you have- nice photo. As for the dvd, it's programmed to loop continuously too, for those who would be gone all day ,I guess.

from aigre-douce :

NO, if you have a red couch, then you should just chill (excuse the pun) and read. If I had a red couch, I'd find excuses not to leave it. As for not updating, I just got home from school. Thanks for including the picture of the snow ~ cold as it is, I live in the South and therefore haven't seen any lately. It was good for my soul (to see that picture)! Hopefully it will snow in Tuscaloosa this weekend. Have a wonderful off-day!

from aigre-douce :

Thank you for your note and empathy. It made my morning worlds better, you just don't know. Thank you also for the book recommendation; I'll have to check that out soon. Yeah, I thought about that whole globetrotting/writing thing, but I intended to write beauty articles (o-b-s-e-s-s-e-d!). However maybe changing my main focus will be more productive, though. Thank you for the advice, I thoroughly appreciate it. Your empathy is always welcome. :)

from aigre-douce :

Is your friend doing okay now?

from invisibledon :

Thanks for watching Rock see you in a week or so take care - ciao

from aigre-douce :

I think you're right about that whole 'others thinking the same thing' bit. Elliott and I play-fought with each other on aim for quite a while last night. I'm paranoid, I'll admit it. But sometimes it really does feel that others don't realize how much they mean to me (or care), and last night was definitely one of those times. Elliott and I were joking around, but I still wanted to slap him (not hard. . . like "Mouth" by Merril Bainbridge). He wasn't the main offender (not caring/realizing how much he means to me) yesterday, but of course it's more intense coming from him. Anyway, tonight we chatted briefly, and I was acting kind of indifferent, but sweet. (Can you be sweet and indifferent?) He wasn't feeling well, so I encouraged him to go to bed, and he promised me he'd email me (bckgrnd info--He's really bad about not emailing, so when he does, I'm touched. I emailed him about 3 days ago). I was like, "Ohh, sure." And he said, "No, really. I read your email a few minutes ago. (It was about him joining the Air Force, which I understand, but it makes me slightly uneasy.) I love you. A lot. I want you to know that. I miss you." Note- he doesn't read my diary. I don't think he even has my link or whatever. Not that I had disagreed with you at all, but that was just proof. What's funny is that I talked to Nick tonight (he was the main offender, actually), and he hadn't even realized he'd blown me off, and apologized. I'm sorry this is so disjointed, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Today has been sooo long and the weather doesnt' help, nor does the fact that I have a fever of about 100F. Don't ya just love the way I tell you my whole life story? Haha.

from aigre-douce :

Your template (or whatev) is so pretty!

from aigre-douce :

Thank you so much for the Magnetic Poetry link! I never even knew! Man, I'm so excited now. Today wasn't the best, but it's a lot better now, thanks!

from aigre-douce :

Sadly, my phone number is doomed to straight numbers (or ALP0)as well.

from aigre-douce :

Happy New Year! Yes, I did have a nice New Years, funnily enough. I ended up spending the evening at my cousin's house, learning how to play dominos, bonding with her tomboy daughter over teenybopper movies on USA, and playing hide-and-seek with an adorable five year old girl with my name. And as my other cousin was gone to a party, I got to sleep in his super comfy bed, which was quite a treat. Needless to say, I woke up smiling.

from invisibledon :

Happy New Year

from invisibledon :

merry christmas

from aigre-douce :

Merry Christmas!

from invisibledon :

Happy Holidays

from strangerlucy :

I decided to go to law school when my daughter was about 18 months old-(she's almost 20 now). I prosecuted for about 7 years in a pretty crime ridden county and got plenty of trial experience and more than a litte burned out on the pace and juggling- then part time practice and a part time gig working for a county judge basically acting as his on staff pro tem for the misdemeanor call. Hated private practice since it amounted to getting stuck with divorce work- my idea of hell ;). 3 years later, my judge lost his reelection bid (you understand politics) and my daughter started high school and became "troubled" so I took the chance to get out of the biz and focus unsuccessfully on her (she's quite artistic by the way, and should definitely pursue it, another long story). Husband works for a very large collection firm (he's a hamster running in a wheel). I have a very close friend who was much like you in that he went to law school, but never practiced- went straight into a political career where he remains as support/liason to a 'bigwig' in our state. He enjoys it- most days. I'm sorry to confess to finding that graphic online somewhere and swiping it- it just reminded me of me so much I couldn't help myself. I know that's bad form. I promise not to swipe your work if you post it online! Thanks for the art tips by the way. My artistic outlet thus far has been some faux finishing, and rustic birds and tree stuff on my wall- It's so far on the fringe of 'outsider art' that we won't call it that- but it is satisfying- I procrastinate taking a jewelry design class that's offered at a local art center. I should have emailed this post to you as opposed to jamming up you entire notes page.*sorry*

from aigre-douce :

I am pretty happy right now, I suppose. Here's the deal: This summer I hooked up with a guy I'd been friends with for years, and it was amazing. We were together every day, and it never got old. It was perfect, like we were soulmates. I honestly thought I'd met the guy I'd be with, ah, later in life. Anyway, Elliott (that's the guy's name) went to college, and we continued to date, despite the fact that we were four hours apart and didn't see each other. As I'm sure you know, long distance relationships just aren't easy, and one Monday night he called me, really upset, and broke up with me "because it [was] just too hard and [he was] so lonely". Puh. Well, that broke my heart and I became really depressed. We kept in touch though, and our feelings for each other never changed, it just didn't work out because we never saw each other. We did, however, agree we'd date again if I ended up going to his college (I'm in the local junior college right now, whoohoo), or maybe even after college. Fast forward to Thanksgiving - he was down for a while, and we hung out one weekend, and it was great. We flirted, but kept away from the romance, and were basically just best friends again. We've kept in touch a lot since then, and now he's down for Christmas break. The crazy thing is that he's been acting like my boyfriend (but it's not b/c it's convenient for him --- I've made sure it's not) and is being extremely sweet, and it's really nice, b/c, of course, my feelings haven't changed (except for the fact I'm scared to trust him). The thing is, I might be really happy with everything right now, but he's gonna go back to UA on the third, and I know things will be back to the way they were after we broke up. Phew. And that was the short version. ;) Yeah, I would have to agree on the stomach thing, as I'm really self-conscious of mine, as well. It's extremely sensitive, but I'm also sensitive about it. About the Elliott thing - the wierdest thing is that we agreed that we were just friends or whatever (okay, friends who kiss occassionally. . . oh, the shame. It's just so nice!) and then the other night I asked him if a friend of his knew something, and Elliott replied, "No, Brad doesn't know we're dating again." I didn't say anything at all, mostly because I don't want to have THE DISCUSSION (especially since it can't really go anywhere), but I'm so confused. . . agggh. I'm sure that's waaaay more than you wanted to know. :D

from jonzo :

I thought about that, but I'm not hot in the rest of the house?

from luckybobb :

yes i love memento because of the way it travles back and the ending is amazing or should i say the begining

from theoddone72 :

I'd most like to go to UPS, PLU, or Gonzaga (all in Washington). They're all good schools, and they all have international relations or a global studies major. That's the kind of thing I'm looking for right now. Anyways, I did end up getting my hair cut, and I love it. It's great!

from crnflkgirl :

Oregon?! Wow! How do you really feel about this? Call me..I don't know if I will be at CI tonight, someone is moving again, and having been working late most nights...ahh!

from theoddone72 :

I want to dye my hair either blue or purple. I was originally thinking red, but I have blonde hair and that would just turn out pink. And I'm not a pink kind of girl. I'm seriously planning on travelling as much as possible during college. At least two semesters abroad, I think.

from invisibledon :

well your drunk ass note wasn't that bad ... i did an entry that only said I'm so drunk and it took me 10 minutes to type -- sorry work sucked - so I'm guessing the CI was fun

from invisibledon :

how you doin' today?

from stealthkitty :

Hi there! Thanks for the note. I'm glad you like my template. Amyyan designed it. There is a link to her on my diary, & she has a lot of nice ones availaboe on her site. Yours is gorgeous, though, so you probably aren't looking for templates. Anyway, thanks & have a good night!:)

from invisibledon :

hey

from jonzo :

M- I've linked you in on my profile, welcome aboard, you'll be addicted before long. I think this place is very voyeuristic.

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