messages to orgami:
(click here to add new message):

from moodswing :
"what fan of flame/ what chimes in soothing storm" this is good, but it looks like it has been awhile. hello, friend. have you finally gone? i pretend to come back sometimes & again.
from stardumb :
Hiiii coming to read amd say hi quick been writing elsewhere but I will visit. edenseas.blogspot.com/
from orgami :
dog been gone some time.... but never be gone like any of us...we exist in memories Listening to DOORS.... helps with the hurt carnival of dark it just works then like now....
from orgami :
thursday or friday..march third. beautiful weather of late.. broke...visiting Bunni...got groceries lost phone...but no connects...just some photos and my music..phone was nice... sa la vie...have to get another one yet again..like lost lighter...need to quit smoking and drinking anyway ..reading one book....watching television a lot...staying in shape on the bike..walking the usual...
from orgami :
jan 23..watched the empty bandstands for trump watched a bit of the history making march.. weather varies from minus with wind...to damp stillness..overcast pall...nice..not so hard on my grey eyes...blue eyes have a filter..wondered by the blue eyed people didnt squint as much all the years....lovely..should have had brown eyes..ojibway and all...or at least blue...no...Grey..like oatmeal with a tinge of brown fleck the sugar to make me sweet!!
from orgami :
Dec 13..two fifteen..am just woke up...cold outside...window a crack for fresh air..quiet out..snowing..Beautiful!!
from orgami :
thursday dec eighth....snowing out finally again..maybe it will stay...tree up...some food ..good clothes this winer....holding our own...
from orgami :
raining...raining..tears from heaven soft suffusion for the thirst of the land to let the creeks sing which I enoy on dog walks and biking along the little bike trails..nodding to people and taking time to chat with my friends and contacts...new and old...what my parents did..they were old school..when Im happy I hustle at work and helping at my place and here..I have a decent voice and my usual flair..work loves me..my city puts up with me..lucky in many regards...enjoying my day long sleep..and puttering about here tidying...organizing..Morrow the usual Sunday travel about and more cleaning and then Monday the usual runs and errand duties...
from orgami :
Ms Stardumb! somehow I got lost trying to navigate my way about..I am always fearful as my old computer tower is compromised..like me its old...creaky cranky..but still works...Somehow I found the links! dear old goggle as I call it on outdated XP still cranks along for me! I have no new photos...but am trying to get the gumption up to go out and post some new images! Thank U for sharing your beautiful works of poetry and thoughts. of the few actual remaining poets I know here and on another site..U remain true to the craft. In my experienced view U are then a true poet! again..Thank U!...Mr Wolf!
from stardumb :
allinvented.blogspot.com
from stardumb :
Hiii this is where I've been writing, thickhearts.blogspot.com I come around still to read 2-3 diaries hope ur doin well... Stop by leave me a comment I needed to start new n fresh n I thought it was a good idea... I'm forever writin n thinkin n dreamin.. n wanting.. n shaping my world thru it as my life n mind are always the things I find hard n try longingly to understand.. my heart on the other hand is so simple n so needy lolll
from orgami :
yah...I was getting negative...
from orgami :
Bike broke..random kept me working for systems..missed work..work calling.had it all lined up to just go in...then this..great....sometimes this is what makes me want to delete all my accounts and move to a new town and have nothing to do with anything..But just feeling this today...dee pressing!!! still have my smile though!!
from orgami :
rained earlier in the morn..daybreak (I missed it..Bunni told me) now sunshine and more and more color to the hills...splendid!
from orgami :
Thank U Moodswing..U made my day! like U said..We gotta keep the fire!! I was myself today..doesnt happen too often...Even took my puppy..(five years old but she will always be my baby puppy!!) for a walk on the trail..we love the walks! all to ourselves!! It was a very good day! (prolli get hit by a bus morrow..Bye...nice knowing U all! ha ha..No..but U never know! )
from moodswing :
I guess I don't get notes email notifications the way I used to.. I worry someday this website will die and all my words will be gone.. maybe I'll be grateful but j doubt it. Anyway I will always love you and thank you for still being here and keeping an eye on me ;)
from orgami :
dog sleeping curled in chair..shar pei..they have funny shapes..nothing funny how fast she can book it....scary fast...solid..capable...very loyal..shes older...survived almost getting loose and running away..or getting run over..cant let her just run free...too agressive towards other dogs...cage raised....no one bought her till we did late...six months old..all she knew was the cage..her mom bros and sis....I brush her..bathe her...trim nails..look after ears..walks...although late we have cut back..was way too busy..too many free range dogs....she has the back yard lead...the short walks close by....shes my baby...Eating granola lately...no hydro use for preparing! no wonder the hippies loved this stuff!!
from orgami :
august 24...beautiful ending too summah...slowly...while all around the rest of the world seems to be having a time of it!
from orgami :
hawt weather....ride to mall was pleasant...or was that downtown....didnt hit mall today..Oh...well morrow then..the crawl...
from orgami :
it rained...blessed day..and now overcast...south there were tornados..floods..but here..it was just...Right!
from orgami :
mall beauties await.. thank U LuLuLemon for those magical yoga pants they all wear...
from orgami :
mall crawl for lovelies vision....inspiring place in summer let me tell U!
from orgami :
been a beautiful summer.....better then some...
from orgami :
havent had a thunderstorm of any degree this year yet.. some years we had wicked ones. that is good though just give us nice gentle rains and we will be happy!
from orgami :
glad that is over with...im old now...summer is here..many beauties abound...natures stunning show...love the heat and humidity....mysterious nights
from orgami :
Happy Birthday Me!
from orgami :
DOORS band plays...Riders of the Storm.. kind of a theme music of late...gotta walk the dog...gotta start moving..a day of doing today..
from orgami :
the dream girls were at walmart again..young blondes...happy..smiling...good girls..picked up a bike tire...the rear tire is done.. stood about arm load of supplies..busy place... came out smoking a cigarette...watching the people come and go..seagulls and crows calling..swerving on the sky above the tall parking lot light poles...the sun shinning on all the glass and chrome of cars...the trans canada by pass across the way..beyond the fence.atop the berm head north..south..the distant homes and businesses ..the sky westward where the sun sets at dusk...dazzling in winter...beautiful and calm in summer...
from orgami :
got a lot done and even more has too be accomplished tommorow. I am happy.
from orgami :
alive today....thankful.... a writer..poet...hipster
from orgami :
im like way too awake....sleep....two days...is too much....staying up...
from orgami :
yah took down the note of the past..most have their own....have too re read this...been pushing it lately...Like your works very much..creative...dynamic...
from stardumb :
triangulation. Woah and wow. :)
from orgami :
sisley skinn jeans grey going round and round...black ass patch..jungle jacket going strong...eating chips and smoking lighter brands..trying to cut back....insta coffee in the timmies mug..dog and I will hit trails morrow...less mud and the heat will keep down the potency of the possible virus or other in the waste...shits going around from the dogs down south...shes had her shots though..kennel cough....rabies...etc...
from orgami :
listening to WARPAINT bILLIE Holliday...melodic..loved their voices back in 2011..five years come and gone like rainstorms..faded concrete...brush grows up on the lots unattended...the working of the wind...
from orgami :
getting ready for the ride too the meeting..see the pretty angels with their airs.... sacrement coffee and ritual paces to keep us sane and anchored...away from that first drink of the devils poison....that tremendous dose.release and gate to Lah Lah Land..Im doing so well....
from orgami :
still keep forgetting to bring the laundry soap..one day.....
from orgami :
rain fell sun picked her drawn up evaporating to the blue freed of clouds frown and dizzy hue
from orgami :
getting more in shape...eating too much..so Im a bit paunchy...too me it looks gross..but many like the little extra....will burn this off for fall...enjoying it right now.....
from orgami :
working through..moving more into my place...working more for B....getting along....a great step forward! gave me two packs of smokes today..I love trading!!! but my lighter is somewhere..either it fell out along the way...or its over there or at home...one of those things...I think its at home..yah..it is..
from orgami :
sewed up Sisley skinny jeans... patched the ass worn out from riding the bike in winter..the grit on the fabric....sewed up upper worn torn pocket on the jungle jacket now vintaged and faded and unravelling on the bottoms Perfect look I decline to put on things like peace signs or call signs or patches like some.. I was groomed to never leave patches on anything picked up from the army surplus.... like pys ops.. advisor role.. Like Air America discreet.. look enough like but not identifiable cool and sleek and so it goes.. gonna hit the mall now..carrying the big packsack.. get a coffee from timmies walk the mall in my new and re claimed old look im not endowed at all for my height so its not the bragging anyway size dont matter for some more of a look I like .. onward and upward.. its very hot out...but we still have the breeze so thats great.. must be hitting the trail and see come what may ..
from orgami :
Pupil..
from orgami :
ore of the moon...mine dream in hazy beams..like she muse fingers of cool dripped desire...the breeze a soft sirens song....
from orgami :
sunny out...happy...getting much done today...taking it slow..not a race...rested for once too..sleep deprivation and staying up for two too three days is insane...
from orgami :
luv yer writing...its epic SD
from orgami :
well I spent time and pampered my Bunni when she asked...kept my mouth shut..didnt argue..it was a kind of torture but I did it...just meandering about now....dressed up...with no place in particular too go..how many would die for a weekend like this?? Im a lucky guy!!
from orgami :
Irise.....................
from orgami :
summer...close enough...warm..beautiful..people out milling..walking..a calm fulfilling townsfolk appeal to it all....a change from the chilly climes that seem to last forever....
from orgami :
rain rain rain.. calming a month ago it was crazy...went from zero to seventy on the road of life...adventures and the awakening....it was good.and shocking..but I am doing it! cleaning up my side of things....and I like order and cleanliness....pride of ownership be it my city or my life...whats left of it!
from orgami :
sync waves...gains and losses like an occilascope...charting the depths of madness and genuise creative fire...an incredible journey full of boredom and terror..and the lapse of tender lush moments that never seem to be able to quench the thirst of hunger....amazing.....my mother the jackal tearing us down to the bone and back... we rebuilt waiting for her dissaproval.. and she left...got a life...lived wonderful ..got cancer..and was gone before seventy.. and we her survivor children become undone in our way and stayed aloft far from the home forever......the flowers are rising... the leaves are growing...I see smiles on the street and my reflections in the glass... I exist.therefore I am.....and somedays are better then others.....
from orgami :
slept a long time for me ....parts of my life falling away...others being found again....nothing certian..like life..im happy with it as it goes...I have too accept much much more....
from orgami :
okay......better cut the tunes....get some shut eye......try too dream..a happy dream..sometimes the muses come with messages like the Oracles of Delphi....and sometimes Im just the ruin in the ruins making more ruin..I think..I suppose I have my charming side...but I never see it...always got my back turned watching the weather...figuring the odds..a tiring business...(yawn!) must go...must!!
from orgami :
almost time for this old mans nap...enjoyed the walk..the tour downtown..the lovelies at the mall...library too....amazing how the dull roar of the ordinary....one can hear the sweet of silences in a single look!!
from orgami :
took dog out for walk...our usual little route...sweet short and beautiful..hot out..saw some people..said hi to one.. bonus! will be out tomorrow again!
from orgami :
just enough fuel left in the zippo..rasp...the blue and tallow orange flame ...cigarette on the lip drawn in the poison beautiful.. is it raining out yet?? a night of dreams..I slept for three hours on the couch a blanket tucked around me ..at ease...peaceful for a change.... days like these dont come easy...
from orgami :
bedtime..time to sleep..prepare for dreams...
from orgami :
hot and beautiful...supposed to be this way...
from orgami :
evening arriving..cold and clear...no rain..it held off...a few drops only!
from orgami :
fan rush..like the great river and the busy banks Library here...back..and diaryland..through the years...I still arrive here on the travel....
from orgami :
Ur Welcome Stardumb! i put myself through my mills..yet again..survived....just...just how many times can I keep that rate...I am lucky in the unluckiest of my Luck! and I do give a Buck..Writing was so important...I had typewriters all my life...had that book..log it down...and I carried the heavy Minolta and before that the Zenit...just getting grounded again...not sure why I always try to escape..Harry has not said much...maybe he just left it alone after all....In the meantime I do enjoy your writing Star! and glad that in my diary here as long as I last that its something special...that it has a meaning..Like me! give up one minute and come back fighting the next..dropped down and get back up...what everyone does..some are just more aware...its painful that awareness...I just have to live through it...with it...everyone said I had this beautiful mind...and the eyes to go with it..grey..hints of yellow and a brown speck..a doctor female shone a light to check too see if my brain was working right..after they almost O'D'd me.."ur eyes are beautiful" kind of been hanging onto that one..we are all treasures now are we not? our uniqueness and the oddities make that dazzling combination of being....must go for now! thank U for ur words!
from stardumb :
Orgami! Nice to hear from u.. Spring is here, with days and days of rain last week. Like u, I like weather.. Frost wind rain sleet, feels like it gives voice to so much.. I've been dreamin of writing a book, not of poetry really but my like in prose and vignettes, there's so many obstacles when I think about this undertaking but I've said things and unsaid things and made me way around things and thru things w words and writing, thankful to at least have my discernment and I can start from there. Thank u for the note read ur 4-28 entry while I was exactly in that place and it felt like someone was singing my song :) but writing words poetry does that sometimes helps see and understand where u are.
from orgami :
5916..........coming down from the great tour.. it was grand and in style.....cannot even begin to describe.....from a comotose level..to this giant sync wave.......from the years of its livery colors to now.... badda boom..badda bing.....roll on...
from orgami :
april 29...sunshine..cool..a nice day..library..feels like Ive been here on and off through these years forever...gonna hit the mall..on a bike with no brakes...shoe dragger special...my Walmart shoes...the converse knock offs wore through...the tough winter..froze my feet but looked cool...style is everything....
from orgami :
april 10 2016...six thirty one pm..a grand day.I endured..stuck to the new plan of being...cant believe not long I was miserable and a wretch..malnourished and pale...this basement a tomb of my making....no talking nor meeting anyone...no sunshine or wind..no laughing or jokes...no exchanges...Now I have a place of my own..a beautiful room...television...chores and people like to be around me once again...though wary...my storm then was always there..fierce and blighting...but right now Im fighting to hang onto to the new promise...
from orgami :
more to do morrow....and then next day too...maybe worky work next week for a day at least..something anyway .is better then nothing... and I got my library card now...bonus!!
from orgami :
avril here...music on headphones peaceful perusal....cleaning apt morrow.. work never done..keeping my head from the dark corners...sit out in the open..thats a thrill also..worthy of this risk!!
from orgami :
Arch thirty thirst... a crest of shadow where the shade blends with nights lush ruin lavicious and tender a scold of scoundrel ..
from orgami :
march 24..7;44p.m. /016 ,,snowing out..winter storm..same one hit Denver..now on us..doing very well..taking medication that is prescribed for me in proper doseage..sleeping...eating right..balancing my life with exercise.reflection meditation..rest..keeping clean and in tidy clothes...not obsessing over net.xbox..or writing...its not all about me...or not all about someone else in my head either....but the breathing in and out inbetween...and for now I like this!!
from orgami :
end of Feb 2016 five in morning...darkness but with moon..cold and quiet..beautiful wednesday...mid week..already been out much on bike..the heavy one with no brakes... wearing my punk style black canvasse white sole toed shoes with white laces...what the poor wore...out of style and came back.. comfortable and cheap....Wal mart knocks off the real super done up fashion ones cost almost a hundred dollars...they look like the old fashioned ones I wore as a kid...to save money and we walked through the bush...roads..bikes swimming...walking the lake....those never lasted the expensive ones... they actually look cool on an old long haired dude like me...just need my drug rug pull over with hood that I wore for a time..but I like the dress shirts....like the collars..pockets buttons...and stylish pants....the weird jackets...the artist in me..... keep going on.....and why not... life is beautiful..the stars and moon and trees are here..in urban form the creeks sing...
from orgami :
morrow work on apt..roll out some paint..there is joy in restoring...fixing up your space...walls...Oh I bitch so much about everything..but everyone knows I can buckle down and do it....on some new dream meds....for people that went through the horrid....Im not in denial...there was horrid...and there is beautiful...
from orgami :
the charming charmer the beautiful arrive alighting they are wonderful dark depths brilliant light walk through when U dont even know poetry in the flow emotion in the flux and never ever a dull moment ..
from orgami :
worked on the apt..helping clean up..made us dinner of carrots...potatoes and rice...some sauce..not a stir fry...but Im seeing how a bag of shrimp with batter and bamboo and bean sprouts is way better then just the heavier processed industrail meats that I dont even want to think about whats in them or the animal went though...im starting to think about what others went through....Everyones happiness is different my new girl said.....and I always flip the negative hold it up to the light..weight the densities...assess all intel... everyones unhappiness is different...I remember the old classic car...my uncle and father..me in middle and my uncle just stopping fast..my face off the radio...just enough to wake me up or put me in that place....the out of the blue...he went through the war...was a smooth talker...he was a hustler...even in the war..what he did how he survived he didnt say..just that on D day he was in the brig for breaking into a dutch bank with some others...Like Kellys Heros...I didnt get missing teeth or cuts...I didnt tell my mother...but I know the old boy network...years later being the bigger six foot boy working construction and reading..got some stories from him....realized u are what u are.....and if your straight up on that....thats that...in the end we all become what we are....with shadows and wounded wings....darkness and surreal worlds .....winter makes me happy...talking with my new girl...and getting along better with my girl I have here....and the ones I have in my city.....an intel system.....they are all beautiful with trix an charms....wit and sarcasm....anger and softness....like storms and moonlit nights each a different hour and radiant wavelength of touch....
from orgami :
mid Novemeber 2015....love how the dates are not on any of this.....riding it out alright...fuck..some ride...I look feel like shit although still Mr Fashion....growing my nails long...something I hate...embracing hate..I gather...dont know...dont care...something different...because I feel different.....new site...or old site I was always on but just maintenance...methodical..I just started to activate it more and got roaring rip into it...a disaster on wheels..and interesting....not dull.....not a nobody the Love interest..they never are with me...brilliant...management...power...control.....cherish she said.....im mirages and storms....rain and snow...god..keep ploughing through it all....here and online.....
from orgami :
holy shit its payday today...old age has its rewards....you forget things like this! I get too see my gorgeous little bank ladies!! they are funny and cute...Im not alpha....Im just tall..so I get allowed in kind a....okay maybe my intense grey eyes help in an indian face..maybe that im six one and walk like a prowling cat with sisley tight skinny jeans...got a chain hanging down my one leg..maybe because Im crazy.....my voice all proper and just beneath it the words waiting to come out of something else........hell...I miss someone and they are not happy at me...that bugs me...and its my fault...just gotta ride it out......
from orgami :
bad asses full moon tonight....been watching earthquake monitor world wide....looked at california cause I felt one was in the works and like before I forgot about looking to the west..opposite....the big ones coming...we are due...west coast I think...believe...
from orgami :
Pointless Not Principessa!! because you are weilding your sword of truths...Wow..incredible entry and writing...all in vogue now of course..Game of thrones...vikings...happy to come and read your encouraging real worlds of depth and feeling! I crawl from dreams...throw on my wear...but beautiful snowflakes...simple joys...out on a run..freezing...alive..new air..other times I want to fall off arms outstretched the five story mall garage..splat..not enough...peace if any is here...God somewhere..I do trust in Him...Breathe...im doing it...slow...but Im doing it!!
from orgami :
that mini putt will bug me forever...Jerri the giraffe and cement sculptures..it was like the beginning and ending of a journey..U can stay at home!...been up all night..need a smoke and coffee...
from orgami :
wow...I thought it was all about different...its like a crash...walking about but I dont know what happened.....
from orgami :
calm...calm in years...yah...whatever...dragged me too it like my mom...but everyones just been wanting to shock me into some kind of real answers not this poetic drivel...and its funny because Im never sure what too say..but people say its good...as in passable of being real...
from orgami :
Last of summer....it was okay..got to the dock..havent swam in years...or done the trails this year. Once it gets cooler I will head up there with the dog....see the changes and all...
from orgami :
i dont need mini putt anyway....i just roll on the bike enjoying things I like..since not having library privlidges I got a life..was always sitting in there...and now it forces me to actually buy books from the big cheaper bookstore or value village for reading...which I enjoy..get there one day!!
from orgami :
this new wave...feels good..feels real..flim flam fanciful bullshit over..for a time...butterfly poetry can wait...this is the mofo dirt..
from orgami :
caught onto to some new wavelength...finally..been years...happy about this...I shoot down the anger right away...if I let it start up there is not off switch for a good portion of the day...switch it off then I can settle down focus on the more lengthier pursuits of logic and casual expression of intellect and fun!
from orgami :
summer arriving...leaves coming out on the trail...garden getting there slowly....
from orgami :
sketching more...ballpoint..color pencils... met other artists via Twitter.....my life is slowly advancing...Or am I advancing slowly into life..
from orgami :
laundry...dog walked...house tidied up...alive alive....food bank morrow...writings ...poems...love...
from orgami :
Im so poor I cant even afford mini putt..
from orgami :
I think the moon was full last evening..I think I missed it..
from orgami :
bikes and longboards....summer is here....short shorts and flip flops...my faves..To observe of course...just an interest...
from orgami :
Maybe I am on the right wavelength maybe everyone else is following an idea which is alright at the moment it all works for them! much has not worked for me.. and I adapted to that..
from orgami :
but then again...since its begun snowing again...They are angels...And In the dreams...In the dreams Im the raggedyman again...
from orgami :
cold wind blowing..beautiful..dark ..creeks fulll...I am heading to bed to dream....week planned out ahead...finally...
from orgami :
M i d n i t e ...polishing up the jacket.. going over where it needs stitching..leather patches...wear of the road..life..It was brand new when the pysch nurse found it for me in the clothing room....Ive had it for six years...there are Angels amongst us yet!
from orgami :
PURSUIT FOR PLEASURE...love that line...groovin to the sixites garage rock...summers coming..thisfucking winter was long...I want to sprawl out and eye up the candy with a coffee in decent clothes...read a paperback and get some sun....let loose and have some fun...
from orgami :
Dear Notes...glad you are here! you are my Little Notebook cyberland..I have my stack..my box of them over there on the shelving unit. And you Diaryland Note! an old friend with friends....
from orgami :
Where the hell has the moon gotten too...whats she up to too...hmmm....have to keep an eye out for her return!!
from orgami :
warming up...gained some weight over winter.. thats okay..its a good weight..good healthy food now..will walk..bike this off getting to work and back when it gets nicer again.. in touch with the old crew...No new fancy muses of late but thats fine...always some new..some old that keep the heart in check!!
from orgami :
B-side some of the most beautiful songs hidden by the pop of the a side...
from orgami :
Love of the sun....a blessing..the heat..a release and all come out...growling from the cave or hungry for action...Dressed for it too according to the princess who saw a teen in denim shorty shorts..sandals and some kind of top....Boys and girls must have been feasting with their eyes....Thats attention....
from orgami :
winters love romance ongoing... Love you winter...
from orgami :
Winter...why you wait so...Love you is to suffer in your beautiful void...your faithful voice of wind so savage so great and grand....
from orgami :
keep the faith..Like your latest!! its awesome....gather it up yes..why not..
from stardumb :
I think it's interesting, a lot a lot of the things u said, I learned u can't trust emotion.. It has it's run. I use to find it easy to be a skeptic till I was stetched.. What kinda music are u listening to? I'm not a good driver, I'm easily stirred up, I obsess, I lack flare, I can't stand routines or when it's dull, but I have to learn to turn that into peace and stillness in a sense.even if I can keep stretching forth. Sometimes hope has led me through dark times.i believe in 4,5-6,7,8 th chances. And that some things are written in erasable marker.. It's important to me to not make foolish brash choices nowadays. I think the mind is basically our leading "organ" we understand, and rationalize.. Compared to the animals, who perhaps have a little inferiority, tho sometimes I prefer the love of animals over the conditional love of other persons. I have emptied my soul, spilled both good and bad.. But I don't feel.. Uncovered, finished, I believe sometimes the water in us becomes muddy and it's necessary to let new thoughts and experiences in like fresh water flushing out all the mud, the soul can feel pickled that way, and needs to be unpicked, revived, I experience a certain love and affair with the night, but I find the might of light a more optimal beneficial thing/aspect, just like warmth is "better" than the cold, everything had a contrast, an ebb and flow tho.. to experience just one.. Is to fail. I don't necessarily think that the plea to not lie.. is to tell the whole truth. If I reveal everything, I give away control. I don't wanna fall. I don't wanna belittle appreciation for the small things but I also need to believe in possibilities. Im not trying to feed purpose with the pursuit for pleasure, I think that's on a more vain level but also I like to wear makeup and I bieve in cliches and I miss the good times of being wild and clueless. I wanna get my focus back and my ability to focus like feel connected to a good good movie, Gosh it's so hard for me really be engaged in that kind of way but I can focus on books, sometimes very clearly, I have a lot of discernment. I like well-written books that speak generational truths, it doesn't need to roar loudly but it needs to see thru the veil in a sense. But yea I should stop. :) thanks muchly for the note. :) Xox
from stardumb :
Keep living and delving!!! I wonder if or when ill ever feel the need to stop writing. Feb has been a cold month. I am truly going to be happy when spring is here. I was wondering ur thoughts on this statement orgami; The night is darkest before the dawn. Is it true? How long does it stay dark for do u know, in a non-metaphorical sense??? And around what time exactly is it the darkest. Share any thoughts u have or if u've experienced this in a personal way at all. Hope ur well orgami!!! Xox
from orgami :
winter was long...cold this year...its usual..but I felt the darkness more...and love hate its stillness...its power over my emotions...I should be humbled by it...I am but a mortal man!!
from orgami :
5:15 p.m. the sun is leaving....the night arriving....will I dream of it all again...like a dream in a dream the vivid viscocity..
from orgami :
2/12/2015....apparition...ginger tea and cigarettes...does it matter....yes..it all matters....
from orgami :
laundry..cooked dinner.took dogs for walk..quiet here...xmas..most away..not me...dug in homie...watching Vietnam..after watching World war two aircraft vids for hours today...Havent watched much on writers yet...should..Neo still gone....like a buddy,,one day here...then away...away...buddies come and go....miss em all......
from orgami :
Happy day...weather just under zero..cold though...still enough weather...overcast..quiet...a good day/
from orgami :
All old school..whats new..my old chums running old grounds...and me..somethings always going up or down...love me hate me....its never dull...and Im never backing down half the time and butting heads with the sharpest of all the tacks.....
from orgami :
Landscapes...I remember driving...then...standing out to have a cigarette...stretch the legs in the middle of somewhere....the internet is kind of a highway now..not as much action...a static representation....Tired....like then
from orgami :
Beat niksky...alive...town character winter winter winter in a calmer zone my voice the nick cave feel when I growl it out the highs and then the lows but looking at things with my grey eyes my character face experience now more valueable then a trade I will take being this hack writer anyday with nothing then being wealthy and numb and frustrated... i am not frustrated lately... its like magic... like a hazy madness delightful and intense.....
from orgami :
was an observer all along...how could we slide love into the equation...hot blooded cold blooded..of course I love you...Love yourself..
from orgami :
the little trees all shine with one missing strand a tree of light and darkness like the soul I keep in my coats....
from orgami :
tinsel and glitter...I live in my head..dreaming awake lost in the beds...each garden ..each dell..each snowflake...each memory melting into the swirl of the creek that drops in its whirls..
from orgami :
still amazed that I didn't do more damage....fingertips numb....other things coming back online slowly....
from orgami :
giants in a tiny land the weather holding off....listening to Chelsea wolfe...need to do things....
from orgami :
check check...we are brilliant and dumb as moths chasing lamps for moons ....electric beacons..... neurons....impulse..mystery..conjecture... its exciting.....that much is so....
from orgami :
the undergrey...of another day.....sleep winter light while the hunters hunt and the lair o' night fires her lamps....
from orgami :
one waiting on...healing slow... dinners roll out nights come and go wander the hallways phone up Bunni she doesn't care shes got things to get done chores to do and me Im here in the holding pattern going bout.... circling like the thoughts that I cannote let talk the wings I cannot unfold
from orgami :
life coming back to them...one finger nerve damage....throws me off typing.....hopefully it comes back...if not chalk it up to chance..which im running out of fast...live fast....etc etc
from orgami :
sunshine but cold...hold off snow...lost some feelng in toes and fingers but made it outo0f woods....howmany lives..how many hands does one receive?
from orgami :
Changed up my look..trimmed the wild man beard....good day at work..biked snow walk cleared smooth run...now minus something or other...Break out the sweaters hat gloves tommorrow ..Jack Frost has hit town!!
from orgami :
kolder now...the wicked winter winds...come slinking....upon wires singing...
from orgami :
fusion buzzbox ..the feedback fuzztone..I was grist for yer mill..said you loved my haunted grill..we were coca to your hot....shadows in the parking lotz.
from orgami :
dog eat dog world...and yet..softness and beauty in rare moments.....strange how that is...
from orgami :
real....its not something for all....what If I led with the real.....the fakers are having a hard time...these blue green grey eyes see right through the smoke and mirror show...vaudevill trix while they steal the cash for the intended.....Think the dying love that? they got nothing to live for...so if they are pissed they dont value the living too well would they? Would you ? didnt think so...
from orgami :
xo Stardumb...
from orgami :
drizzle tricks...the grate black thirsty like a throat spasm ...the dancers arch and the night beneath the layeres are visions of glistening dreams..
from orgami :
haunted by the machine of madness..gleaming like an edge...too cold to feel the winds and loans on heart paper cheap and stock crashed...burning in the fires..scattering like ore poured on a wild mountian....breaking stout romance and bitter lockets for holes in all our pockets....
from stardumb :
Loved ur latest entry. I know how u love the night, u write about it a lot. Need to do some thinking today. Thought I'd stop by. xo
from orgami :
in your wake of candyapple dapple you shup up my voice in your shut up upturn little grin shup shup doobie do wah clip clop boots and music like hail...
from orgami :
urgency in the tremor touch..lay back rippling beneath your new cloak....pale fingers through your braid.....with new plans made....
from orgami :
wind combed soul.. wild with arms emptied.. worthy and sought out...
from orgami :
dislocation... fell into silence the routine like footsteps falling in the busy hubris...the hub barren.. the windows cloaked with their readiness ...outside in the fields winter rain in circles in wide mad arcs and the folly of the thorns could be felt...
from orgami :
pierce foretold we handled nothing of the heart fondness for the spirit and the rain drizzled from the streetlights down the sheen of hair the fresh chin and cheek youthful and sinful ..
from orgami :
good ol fall...cold..overcast..some leaves left..a good night...
from lust- :
Heya, thanks for the note. Do you still live in Ontario? I'm currently in Toronto. I know what you mean when you say you're wanting to be like Hunter. I get that. A bunch of greats passed away at 27 & I have a week left. Fuck. Ain't gonna happen, I know that, but I'm still hoping an errant car hits me. Sometimes it's worse than others. Oh well. Better grow up instead. Hah. Looking forward to reading more of your words!
from orgami :
damp outside..the mists.. i asked them to leave the little christmas tree on the little glue factory with its towers and pipes and tanks..up there with the walkways like a castle....forgetting how the bulbs wear out how they had to let everyone go..the contract up too expensive up here to truck all materials and rails....so the bottom wrap is out..the middle wrap of lights out...Just the top and midway shinning...Like an inverted spinning top.....Still beautiful though! until it all burns out! sometime after this christmas! a vestige of wonder!! from a gifted better times!!
from orgami :
I was pissed....pull it back...energy vibing off me greatly...tired....out of pain meds..coffee not touching it...gotta keep going....but its hard sometimes....starting to hit the age...oh that and Im on the freaking bike all over the place too....pedal bike...racing bike..its old and very cool!
from orgami :
Madness.....and cruel taunts....the petty fears that grind away the banal patience of others...they will never understand....lucky them
from orgami :
stripped and naked..the winds burlesque on a haunt of a scene...the lights subdued and shinning in the intrepid attraction....a beautiful want..a hunger to appease...
from orgami :
draw in the night sublime and rich full of stars and turn and twitch..
from orgami :
finally cleared up enough that I can see the damn moon...small right now..will get bigger in the next few days....then late October...thats the best one....still got the color in the sky...that strange color..blue or burgundy or something...i like it
from orgami :
looking forward to the new moon arriving...fall is wonderful...people talking about wolves and bears....we do live in the wilds..we forget somethings the old ways..the stories about how it still is....
from orgami :
hows that..thought y d never ask...its all smooth like velour;;;glistening in the crooked rain...dripping from the teeth of history..a ratcheted prank from the mirror of mystery..
from stardumb :
Refreshing entry. My eyes are tired if seeing. I need prayer or I need death, nothing's completely wrong., its just all outta sorts, I'm not what I want, I just hope there's a Hod cuz I'm tired of feeling ashamed.. At this point, I have alot to lose.. Turn to God with everything n in everything.
from orgami :
that was hours ago..house settled..things to do tomorrow and much much much to think about..a new maturity..wobbly legs....and about time!
from orgami :
off to see lilly.......write from there when I get there.....
from orgami :
respite..its warm..the sun gleaming bright in the haze of this rare and precious day....inside reading....something about the new Yorker editor ross....very interesting...from the muskoka lakes library..a donation to the library.....fitting..over and out for now..
from orgami :
love the dark spirit times of now....rains next..winds..and then winter...snowflakes..how i love snowflakes...and ice on the lakes..ah love this time of year....
from orgami :
monday to be....evening of magic.....wonderful..exciting...
from jaysthoughts :
Just seeing who is actively and actually checks their notes. Peace.
from orgami :
tomorrow is sept eleventh..i remember it clear..was a hot clear morning...sad..but..society will always be this way.its human..and its human to just survive..time to remember..reflect..silence and then move on..living.......
from orgami :
wide awake...the usual great worries..but why? like in the middle of some canoe trip and something happens....or wake up surrounded in madness with others...realizing that you are the most mad..ha...that a good thing? its something.there you go..a positive thing..its something....and thats way better then nothing isnt it!!
from orgami :
reading over the now dead archives.. the simpleness of all the choas churning like a wild wind..all its flurry..all its dust..our fresh metal hearts rusted now forgotten....there is a purpose but ive lost whatever focus i thought i had...realizing i was fake as the hope....no promise...and yet still holding there.....an ideal..a principle.. grown older...the weariness catching up where it was....comfortable in my bones....its home that i denied like admitting that i fell in love....regardless...that i turned you aside in my rush....never realizing there was an us...a long time in passing......no one wants the totality.....the weight.....so run empty...jettison the edges and fray to the focus....its arriving now like the ghosts..whom always had a voice...i never listened....a chorus wavering after dusk.....and this new hunger with meaning ive found....and kurio unlocking it with the shoppe of all the haunted items in her vault of dreams........kurio kurio kurio....you are...and i am becoming................
from moodswing :
how are you doing over there?
from orgami :
opus................ everything was the color of.. the depths like three d i wish......but if it was.. it would not feel at all like this at all honey... got keys baby... a lock is only a channel upon which that of a solidified dimension finds its push through a labyrynth of perceptions to persuade the untalented from springing the lock.... but we know that all good and great have talent for adventure for flourish for just the job and isnt that a shame if love were to be thus heartbroken but you gave me lana the latest.. "i dont wanna let you go"
from orgami :
kurio again.....are they pretty you ask..in my eyes...its a spell....happiness makes anyone pretty...sadness makes them ...a word..not in english describes it...what language....she was there...happier...my silver...bad luck keeps falling if im not wearing it....so far out there....like the silver of the mirages...i write here....its just writing.....the landscape in another speed frame beneath like lanas music..speeded up and slown down drawn way out....is she even real? i love her..no mere marylynn ....not coma white.a fave song....silver silver...and all the stars look just like little fish....i was what...early twenties then.....courtney my age....the minatures....for people who look at time like no body else does..eye hand corodination beyond belief..a visual cortex with space beyond a comprehnsion level of majority...autistic...asbegers....bi-polar..fucking crazy................i need a smoke and a coffee....i need to get my shit together.....i need more lana...courtney..samantha...her last great song i think.....i need to come down from way up here in lah lah land.....enough haunted landscapes...even the dog cries when we are out there too long......you can remove a real place from your head...but you cant remove a fictional place youve lived all your life...its just not the easy plan at all....or is it.....coffee..smoke..lana...aha..theres my plan...i feel slow and down....i want to roll a delay ..you can do this...phone your land line number from your cell and pick up....the echo delay is beautiful......found it by accident...for me anyway..probably everyone knows this..but i didnt...i just basically got a cell a year ago.....fifty years old and just getting a cell....its crazy....my life in reverse.......my nobody life...that i want..and love......making all his plans..........
from orgami :
grissom was an intriquing character...his team..his responsibility..but it was more..i think...professional protocol aside...it was politics....she loved his ambition towards his ideals....she knew him inside....he allowed her in...he was really into that fetish women...like the roller coasters he loved..to let go...professional to professional...designs to take one to the very edge...perhaps the illusion of beyond....and be back to work monday..orderly..profecient..tiday.....cant spell...ha...i loved that show and those characters...it was the minature woman that i was drawn too....still am....way beyond my world...my brain....but i love details...details tell motive sometimes...that was grissoms deal wasnt it.....maybe he saw sarahs.....and she couldnt see it...but then isnt that love..like a justice..blind trying to balance the skales....tired....tired....makes me want to go look at that again....u tube..one day...still way too soon.....i like sarah a lot...the character...her persona...her hair cut...her simple stylized clothes..simple cuts no exagerations..her hair an easy deal...her make up straight forward work....she put her flair into performing her duties as a forensic investigator...and that over the edge approach to Grissom.....she wasnt like lady mcbeth though.......a great show...........
from ahopeinhell :
They were Sarah's words, not mine, of course. I'm sure he loves her.
from orgami :
so i loved her so sue me...ive got her love letters that i never read or saw then...we were echos anyway..more then just across an ocean and a universe.....so deep the pain...like kicking up my kickstand and shifting gears..the knee throbbing on each turn of the pedals but the wind picking up in my hair...the traffic going by people staring...yah im a poor motherfucker on a stupid kids bike...but im in shape.....i can book it bad knee and all right through the woods with all this practise...and i can sit up all night trying to figure out all the puzzles that rain down like snowflakes....each corner a start and a finish..a meaning that has an echo...hows that for logic thinking and crazy random sketchy business.....thats me on a calm day.....no one cares anyway.....not now ....not ever.....its why i love this..here...whatever and nothing...it is................it just is...............more lana.....
from orgami :
just a crazy writer.....need a smoke..awake all night....coffee and painkillers....listening to lana and feeling pretty much pretty much...
from orgami :
awake....during dream time to avoid dreams...nap now..catch some hours..head out in the heat waiting cheque deposit and thinking about the complications of life and how easy it is to just jump from one island to the next....however...all ideals...values..crazy assed reasons i remain who i am i will leave.....all about what worth.....i love...but i cant jump....not that the women are worthless..they are not.....what of the minature .....the compressed world...designs only......movements...and his hearing was going...i still hear....the minute she does is beautiful......for now.....
from orgami :
..will Kurio be there?.....like Val dressed in her white gown and black shoes...her velvet tiny hello in the halo of sunlight pouring down throug the skylight....Like the winter snow falling cold and decadent...Kimmy smoking her cigarette in her tiny long coat...the brown wet eyes and the lashes holding the stray flakes...I still have that photograph...im glad i took that and pointed the camera away from her...i can turn in my mind and see her...the quiet group..our break...Kurio girl will take my cash for the sterling...Kurio and Kurio....das ist mein....
from orgami :
cold now..quiet now...some better moments...like a zone,,i exist...just a different system...off the ideals,,,more to be this way...reality is more adapable..i cannot spell,,glad im not perfect...
from orgami :
now the grey overhang drifts....to the east...most days...our patterns here....and its cold...the north...alaska..down across the prairies and then up across the damp great lakes to us...little ol nippyland...raining..got my army jacket on which indeed is made of the real material of military grade..the pattern cut even..just the civilian buttons....nothing like the europeans to just avoid the knock off style and style the real mc coy with genuine ordinary buttons...kind of like me...im a real something with knock off something.....my tour of the day..took my dog for a walk...beautiful out there...alone as usual....i will never have someone in the someone..someone text..i have a somebody...and if its love...this is more real then all my dreaming about the fantasy of lah lah land.....i keep an eye open but really....im worth more then what im aiming at...guess i gotta pick it up some! a goal..
from orgami :
the heat.....closing in.....not sweating..too much.....ha...its like an attic....way way too hot....but its great..reminds me of the top floor in the old half attic in our old place where i grew up....a fan...thank god for that...the days are beautiful beyond belief..a tranquil lull...but the edge..the excitement is not far behind...
from orgami :
not all things are the happiest.. like any gamble...obsession sometimes just makes us hang on to the endless nobodies..the endless loop.. which is a work in progress for many.. i watch them chase the losing teams the last horse...gambling away their dollar to be spit on and ground under their heel... funny but people pay to be treated like this but thats a business.. in life people throw away things all the time.. disposable souls and hearts.. sad really.. how things get buried in rage and anger how being hopless and lost is a comfort more then the brave hard work to just stand on your own feet... i did that for a long time..angry at those not propping me up when i can walk fine..even if its with a limp who cares...gives me character....im beginning to see im a lot more then those i spent time with whom toyed with me to get others to notice them and pay them attention.....people are....an impossible task to make them into things they are not......all i do is keep looking for someone i can relate to well and work with in a business matter...and for now that is impossible....my romance comes at a great cost and a grander illusion.....but for now its what i have...hold onto....it was and is still more real then the rather comfortable life i started with....and to greatly be involved with those that promise and run away never getting close is a game...only giving you treats to keep you waiting like a dog....thats not life to me..finally after fifty years im starting over again.....it feels great though.....i thought it was a waste of time and i was angry about all that...but it was what i chose..no one held the door....no one put me in the box....ever...anyway...i enjoy writing here..this place is my writer comfort..my poet landcape and place and i am happier these days then ever getting out on my own now and not needing to have that someone at my side...perhaps i worried too much about being alone.....afraid that people would see all my faults of which i was tortured about emotionaly for so long....the more i embrace what i am and work with that....rather then the ideal of perfection and perfect mate etc.....i see its just equally an illusion.....i still have the ideal like an old party hat i wear that no one laughs at anymore and is immature....maturity is a tough act....but its okay.....its rather interesting and takes all my focus to just relax and let go......but rewarding...so many oppurtunities are coming forward now in the forms of a possible new romance.....even if i still have my obsessions with the old ones....
from stardumb :
Love ur last entry. U seemed happy in it, thanks for the feedback/comments, I really try to get to a couple/few diarys while I'm here, visiting and writing... Ur writing is sharp like glass, ignites the imagination, and makes me feel like i want it to snow all the fucking time. lol, thanks, i appreciate u as well. xo E
from orgami :
we..you are not alone...many read you....you are a poet..a worthy writer.....thank you!
from orgami :
your works speak through the haze..frustration..and ultimately pain...you can write it down in truths that are truly a Poem! i am better.....but happily still in the land of lah.....a different lah...your writing is a purity like a drug for me....so few true originals....to want to want that one...i understand this....i keep believing myself...Thank you Stardumb
from stardumb :
:) I think ur the only one, but still, I write. I have no choice I guess. where would it go, maybe knock down walls if i couldnt put words in their wonder... Hope ur good. I'm ok, but better than I use to be. thanks xo
from orgami :
dime shiny days and clouds like sinks full of yesterdays dishs swimming beneath the lucid dream the current sweeps the darkness sleeps in hidden sizzling ways pent up steaming in its cage and stretched past the edge on the last finer fingertips feeling falling dayz the torrid ways ... and wind kisses in limber limbed lush yearn like the weeks full of heat the smouldering of passionate turn..
from orgami :
ya ya..very poetic......day okay..need coffee and smoke...gonna watch some movies and chill..hope for a quiet night....rest later..get that painting finished....no rest for the artistic....
from orgami :
notes: been here forevah! thought i would just put this down..there done..
from orgami :
i havent put down a fave entry because i was not nerded up enough but i think i will attempt it...i have to find a fave entry now....a challenge for summer 2014..thank you Stardumb!
from orgami :
reading through the notes..frantic..tired..the bare bulb on this cluttered paint table..air upstairs in her window..a cry with the fan..comforting..the wind it makes.a torrent.no she sleep soundly...orderwine....pleasant witty writing...writer...all of it blurring now...words....i do my best writing and reading when im most tired....i feel better though....the old letters...the old few champions running the track...was i one..was i as good as they.......................................
from orgami :
i feel as crashed as i expected...love you karma you crazy bitch.....hope you miss me..with my luck now that i want to live you will smote me with a truck or some random bad ass thing...maybe i will be happy...someplace new....whom knows.....so sad though....right here and there and nothing....and everything..
from orgami :
i read all the old notes.....i feel crushed..how could i miss that intensity...my poetry is a wasteland where yours is a true traveller poem...i was such a pretender...a novice...where did you go? ...dont answer...whatever this feeling is...its real..and its not a great one....something further and deeper then ever...i miss you babe..i wish i was there then....four years later...three years later..and now smoke and mirrors....story of my life........
from orgami :
lush the light of dusk..the water in the creeks alive..a spirit sense there...pull away from our box living life paying tariffs thats normal.. wow..that few lines is my old romance poetry mixed with my old and new political meander..i like it...
from orgami :
the water run the rain barrow the grasses lush full of sleeping wakefullness past the midnight hugh the pull of light from a moon for those with the darksite
from orgami :
svelte lush the velvet winds the summer fro and to towards the haze the sharp wit mirage that dances enticing dreams come nightfall when the darkness rises
from orgami :
tired...letting go of things....getting dominate with confidence....but staying up late fitting the puzzle peices i hang onto forever to make sense..like the primitive people waiting for the sun to strike inside the structures they made......that certianty when it arrives..ideal or otherwise is incredible.....cerebral....i know physical pleasure is a greater thing...but there is nothing like the mind stuff....
from orgami :
friday the thirteenth...a terrible day...but one that eventually would arrive....made it through..full moon..go figure...
from orgami :
im six foot one and very capable and mean assed looking...some say a pussycat too....i stretch and yawn and stroll but i have not yet truly gone for anything i see...i have incredible patience..i unravlled this wind chime that was all tangled up..there is a beginning and ending not matter what..those that destroy beginning and endings have a lot to hide...but people like me like me and people like us dont like the true destroyers....only because they are redundant...and the destroyers know this...its their thrill that makes them feel alive...i realize that certian others are the same...no rose colored glasses on me..i love sunglasses...its just outfits..just clothes..not whats inner...anyway when i meet my perfect girl i am going for i will write about it.......stories like good books and movies are for sharing....unless one is complete underground......i dont need underground......i live everywhere!!!!!!
from orgami :
somehow i came home happier and it was a memorable event try to delve into that feeling more i think its an effort thing also.... like climbing that escarpment trail through the right of way to get up there for the view like any real estate view is kind of important
from orgami :
i smell....trail and a days in the suns worth...no colonge....pure of animal of the human nature....sometimes its nice to run off the social grid even living amongst others....tomorrow i can throw it all in and reclaim it all back in.....but for now im a night creature...in this deep dusk....
from orgami :
glens and glades...this shiverfest of spring hades....winter winter you were a cold witch and now i love you in your leaving..just as ive warmed up to your feral chills and charms....i feel lost with the antsy shook up crowd...i miss your hazy eyes and strident harsh embraces...bitch at me in your barren limbs shrieking..i shivered in my looming room...and now the new...new moons and warmed dusks..sweet spring and summer.....
from orgami :
may 15 2014..smoking now a year..bah why survive the battles to lose the war for shitty assed poison sticks.. dumping these shit stix come twenty eighth...back to being a non smoker like being a non drinker now..that and about seventy cents always and only in my shitty worn out skinny bitch pants a pretty young woman gave me who is my height..five eight mid twenties....not from my side of the tracks...and their side is a nice tour of duty...but not where i came from..suprise at that..even me.. im the one who is no ones cup of tea.. anyway....continuing on..off to update all other sites now...
from orgami :
enjoying spring..rains..got a beat up old black umbrella....like the glasses im old i can use these things now....
from orgami :
winter is a quitter now the water rises the wurse of its kurse..
from orgami :
aseir
from orgami :
happy of the now....focus on that..
from orgami :
curreal
from orgami :
tin fruit ..syrup..the sunlight slips away beneath the edge...and the night rises..
from orgami :
too cold..now too waterlogged muddy..we await the sharpei and i for better weather..more slushless trails....when i lived here i packjed down that trail with manic endurance...we were out there morning mid night and beyond...i was a madman...and then the loss of control...the cut back of it all...now nearing fifty i palter down there for a gander....satisfyed that its being kept up well enough from the wild state when i found it..brush piles and fallen stray wood on the old roadway right of way..across the track a dangerous thing in those days..busting down the sticks growing up over the edge of the pavement..skuffed off the decades mush of leaves down to the bare old pavement.....why....why put the effort in...it will fall back soon enough..no one else is crazy enough to put all that work into it..i owned it..it became mine....for a time....
from orgami :
sunny day..chilled at home...tomorow my first official day back here for me....
from orgami :
one of the more original and yet surreal strange day going...and winter goes on and on....
from orgami :
another payday...holding our own..poetry running deeper..abstract and beyond...i know there are the alive and quiet out here...the wastelands...the deserts...
from orgami :
better..the glitter settling...there is..sunsets..and shadows...the ache full like a cold moon...
from orgami :
and it was...different i was bored now...the years grown tall...the suffusion of dust from wear... my wisdom grows weary and restless.. my eyes searching...
from orgami :
I.D. ology on call through the static falling realm hushed...dull..extreme... wandered and alive ...
from orgami :
broken...the face cracked.. laying soiled on the floor while diffusion rises up like white the vortex saves the vortex grave a thousand magician smiles rattling in the merry tin cup....we dined...we sat..we supped ..and the world spun and the stars fucked... how i love you wrapped up your barb your wire gasping in like a waterfall from a rusted faucet head ..a haunted stall.. where tears are crawling down our histories ...where dreams stillness lay waiting for Monday... waiting for the comfort of the spring... love was a disease turning our souls violet...
from orgami :
textures of spring awash in the grit and salt bled fast horizons and the blur of passing wakefulness the bitter static winter melting heart beat by suns heartbeat..
from orgami :
suffix...i once beheld you...now aloft..now aloof...
from orgami :
i saw and befriended the most daring hardcore..they had laughs though..fought hard..had shit together and then they were gone....i feel like im like them...almost..like they were destined to be examples of what to strive towards..how they had changed much instead of diving further and burning every goddamn bridge...i love bridges....they are not just for me.......maybe im a bridge..maybe we are all bridges..spanning gaps for the people who need help..i can climb the gorge and swim the rivers now..but not everyone can..and everyone needs whats on either side...ha..man thats deep....ah it was a good day today...so i guess i will get taken out tommorrow...i miss those people whom were my friends...they helped me get here...the good part of me....we understood the darkness.....our humanity in its raw harsh tones....
from orgami :
so much exists on levels we dont even have words for....so much of us exists on the dark of the unknown side.....self cognition is a mockery...the mind is deeper then the oceans and its creatures more astounding!!!!
from orgami :
apples and oranges..its all the same one sweet and bitter the other bitter and sweet the flesh beautiful..
from orgami :
listening to underground youth and never thought to think of where they are from until now..now i found out they are from manchester...where joy division was from...amazing...and i loved and still love joy division.....
from orgami :
|
from orgami :
romance wins..hurray....thirty per cent of darkness and seventy of grey sunshine or rains..|I like those odds...
from orgami :
hush hush...this is silence awake the dark light through tall trunks andthe wolven s right ..
from orgami :
if i lived alone i would have so much more cash.....but i tried this before and found that the devil indeed has work for idle hands...... and i hate mirrors something to ponder....
from orgami :
grocery list...pursed...mangoes..a cigarette gathered up behind one bang...pretty as a picture...neat as a pin...cant see it yet...tender is the torch that sets the heart aflame......
from orgami :
mall was a curse heaven sent a dirty bird stoccato steps and the low freight winding north snorting hot breath her cigarette holds a rouge place the burning tip nothing is for certian not lust not revenge not the simple logic of spent ecstasy smouldering like frankiinscence like ghost trade route freejackes..
from orgami :
AFFINITY in the black rends of a tea cup sheltered in a hand held...the magic postulation..the pop and drop of subterfuge...arriving fast like the sunlit morn..biter and beautiful...lustful and hauntingly wider then any dream still flowing in my thoughts like the stream emerging black to the lakes embrace.....steam rising from buildings at work like rising swans....
from orgami :
cold on the goddamn feet smoking ciggies the little dog leash run...the trees rising up in the backyard...i can see the ski hill light..the stars..the airport beacon shinning up in the mists..snowcrystals falling ..i can see this from the streetlight over through the trees..the store lit up....ten days till pay..enough smokes to make it and two jars of Nescafe....and Love....goddamn love...
from orgami :
dreams come early nights..when streetlights fire up in the falling flakes....darkness stretching through the hours till dawns wakeful width...
from orgami :
desire winter.....cold embraced beneath the magic of these drifting waves.....on and on they slowly fall.glittering like mad ideals...settling in their gentle cover...their strong winds borne elite..the spirit rush..
from orgami :
pallid pallid dayze.. ive lost my crave.. to the silence grave.... are you....will you.. ever come back?....guess not.. dig in to the nights exertion of winter...the splay of stars..
from orgami :
oh exhaustion my old nemesis..come sit.. we are old friends on different sides of idealogies..our complex mutual means..we are patient quirks....ha..i need a tea and a mending bath to ease these bone aches and ghosts from the sleeve of magic delusion...tip my battered top hat and close my eyes...even for a moment or two....(perhaps dream of you)
from orgami :
orchids.......white as winter
from orgami :
winter..slush and mountains of snow....dampness and aches....and the beauty and splendour that goes with it...
from orgami :
finished a folk art acrylic painting..cats head from photo on pine board 1" by 6" by 17"..gloss coat..black paint back and sides....vague green background and detailed cat face..people will love it..today is Sunday January 5th..i havent looked at mainline news lately for a few days so i dont know whats going on...Britt Radar Environment Canada tells me the weather coming to North Bay Ontario.. (Ive been to look at this little station years ago..through fence.its doppler radar..its a shed and a tower and a covered dome..nothing fancy..painted white..) i shall listen to Canadian Broadcast Corporation at work tommorrow on FM for latest....brianiacs listen to this station..u tube is just for vintage and old rock film...documentaries..
from orgami :
thank u stardumb
from stardumb :
I really liked your latest entry and the last couple of lines were spectacular. love to come here regularly and check out whats on your mind.... stardumb.
from orgami :
fauna of dreams.....flowing in its direction..hallowed and hollow....
from orgami :
wonderful winter the snows on the bridge the creek silent the trees sending shadows entwined like a labrynth language stretching our paths and lives shortened and elongated mythos and pathos and the peace like the flakes descending in their quiet way the wind a whisper
from orgami :
decades of winter ... everyear the spirits.. everyear the cold but the same creeks open till the real cold lands...
from orgami :
fire of the soul.....some days begin better then others......and others sharpen our fangs...and beneath this winter thaw....the heat of it runs.......like rivers of passion....the hunger like a beast untamed..
from orgami :
my world is evolving...finaly thats a good thing...change is hard yes.. but im so happy to get it...
from orgami :
head down..the wind fresh..the cold intense..christmas pressure thick and sure.. i keep going...holding down the pattern circling round and round....change is gradual..incremements...
from orgami :
azure impeaching the black pupil darts splendid in this frost lashed park....
from orgami :
friday..all day...pay in my pocket a shedule to follow..rules of the game etc..news in our local area the usual pre christmas madness...increments of it rising...keep eyes open intuition in check...i will be back to write poetry one day..
from orgami :
in your box of cheap and precious you said they never stole the worth of sentimental gold preferring silver and chips of diamonds shinning in the robber eyes ..passed through halls in pastel robe.. sure footed the coy eye spying.... sprung loose the moon unwinding for her monthly roles...the springwork heart wound with care...souls pendulum in motion with a whispered word of dare..
from orgami :
wore upon the blade of stars..the glower of the petite moon....she shivers bright mercurial shine...the price of dreams is much too high..the darkness feasts and feeds and dines..
from orgami :
snow caRESS happiuness under thge age
from orgami :
zadda yadda....i need to dream...six hours to rest....im happy...its cold and snowing..
from orgami :
unkursed.....i will...the dying angry for i live like death is a trip...everyone saying i wear these shitty cool clothes so i will get sick...filling texts on the screen and knowing texts to me..."You never call...you never text"..they are all right....i feel desperate and angry....and shut down...and struggling in the survivors intelligence to keep a show running.....running out of words......turning away is a fake event...the real ones stayed and kept their face....faulted and beautiful....i stay because of the defiance....and feel myself fading like the ghosts i fear.....their powerlessness....i want to be a spirit instead free ......free........free.....
from orgami :
snowing steady..cold..not a thick snow for us..an almost mystical falling..small amounts...like minature...crystals mostly...people moving.. its magical times..pre christmas...three weeks i have shifted my whole routine....not walking..busing it everywhere now....like another dimension from the many years of walking and biking in the middle of winter...i even dress different....but the land will never change.. the setting of structure moves slower...like an old barn...an old house with its many tenents..a project..a park..a plex.....and the while the books and moments to keep abreast of its momentum...coffee and all that..magic..
from orgami :
alley smiles sleeping cars and windowshops bright and leading like the bouy lights beyond the empty islands...the fringe of ice clear as crystal where the birds sit far from shore..a congregation walking on water...
from orgami :
vermouth for moths.....sticky printz...kick it up..lick it up..glittering like road salt in the hot fast lights of all the motorcars stealing off the cavalcade of rush...and silence falling like decadent death....haunted and charmed..
from orgami :
templates like snowplows...as individual as snowflakes and right now...right now I need a smoke...and its cold as fuck outside...and it makes me smile..my knee is shit...but i dont care....im alive...inm out kicking about..writing down and carrying on...
from orgami :
had snow....new world order weather.. unusual but everyonbe takes it..no choice last year it was snowflakes all day... and |I love snowflakes...past the lamps..busy day today..cheque day at end of month...zero dollars now..shift some money from associated contacts aqnd move it out..keep it going the flow.....like your style and your writing on your diary....everyone keeps going....yaay!
from stardumb :
thanks orgami... I cant believe u have snow.. we don't have snow yet... cant wait to see it
from stardumb :
love ur latest
from orgami :
yah apples are good...muffins and salads too..kicking that junk food..and smoking too much..gonna kick this too.....wearing too light of clothes to bloody look cool....freakin' vanity.....got cash on me and everything else I need to keep going...have to be in three places at one so I just chose to come in here where its warm at the library and crank out a few things on all the sites...gonna head out there and catch a bus..catch a coffee..walk my dog....she understands me...its not my walk..I just go with her.....starting to come to life after ten years....so now I probably will get hit by a bus.......saw it happen to a few before..they got that glow......try not to shine too much..ha ha.....thank god I got a shit load of darkness.....................
from orgami :
in a dream....the flicker....wanderer forest staid as a beam..the portal sheen....the hallway shinning in oil.....cracks like a delta...desolation and dormant......I knew where to go.....where to look....shove through a door....the new ground...the new town..
from orgami :
I thought..thought nothing...
from orgami :
hoarfrost and broken shoes a sheen of tommorrow cuts its way through thick mists....fuck the way things have been...its time..time to dig in....feeling this cold grip my ribs...Delores baby I miss you.. miss your length beside me...miss your hot and hungry mouth..the dull happiness in our shine....out run and out gunned...
from orgami :
mercy streets and cold still pools crowned winter white moon glows in the crawling room the cracks and seapage sepia ghosts we are dungeon warriors raised in attics .. we are cats and dogs from alley chains
from orgami :
avid aviary...the flocks have tended..fled..leaving the lake empty..silver gleam...worthless seam the healed broken..the heartless puppets...dragged to march in a workwheel mountian...in a field of thatch....waiting for their freedoms....
from orgami :
snow falling finally...wake up in spacelands...off the drugs....took my meds and didnt quite have the good go of it...but made it through the day...weary...but back here..another day..Saturday...snowy saturday..
from orgami :
warmth..the frost without the rains...outside from inside...the dreams are livid and vivid..wonderful and brilliant...they are not faded as my typewriter ribbon....grey as a ghost ship in a fog....
from orgami :
week coming up again...work...out of cash.. but bought things I need..helped out some people who help me...the flow goes in its way...true friends anyway understand that.. so many leechs..The more I accept what my life actually is and what I actually have from people sharing what they have..and are with me the happier I feel..Im not alone..I have people to talk too..I am loved....But I had to get away from much too...had to make that start and stick too it...had to grow up...grow though.. counsellings been the best thing for me. and even that came about by a hard push.. not a good one..Im just as stubborn as the people I chum with....helps you survived but helps you stay isolated and immobilzed and set up for people who just want to cram into cages what they can use and manipulate...last time I checked Im not a dog or cat or bird....nor is anyone else human...my dog is very free.. I love her..take her for walks..pet her..care for her....thats the way its supposed to be....
from orgami :
the quiet drench of sun...........naked hills..and green turning lakes fresh with a cold wildness before the snows mist the distance into a pale horse....riderless and haunted...
from orgami :
steph...the soul of cedars..the tea boiling on the stove...beneath the light at the forks..only leaves fell...summer moths long replaced with the chill...her bright red gloss on the filter tips she crushed on the ground..Love like a storm washing away the dullness...bringing the ozone and nightmares and pain...
from orgami :
pressure....vibrates like a life the thick surface of tensile intensity ...a laugh waiting...a cry stating....
from orgami :
Everly...a book queen beauty in reveries and more.....the ice queen princess.. the city park mistress...
from orgami :
soot kisses on rain fed cashmere choked up winds howling down vent pipes ...stand before the window ..framed by the light..all curves and silence...the fine hairs like down.. a tender aura...the gloss crown of mane...
from orgami :
dampness..rain...shrill lights and soft mute dark..the voice of water in deep drains...a hush soft like the call of pain..
from orgami :
there are other voices....I follow intuition and good friends...and what I need to follow at times...but music and writing are the interesting...I am happy for Diaryland to be here...I lived without it for years...but now now..Alternate endings...Yes!! Ive had to have read that!! I like it much!!
from stardumb :
you're such a prolific writer!!! I appreciate that.... It's always nice to hear what you have to say.... I used the alternative thing once in a poem... "I'm forever changing, I'm forever an alternative ending" so I understand the alternative movie thing, I love alternative music!!!! Just wanted to pop in and say that and also say hello... :)
from orgami :
I so appreciate that you write in a focused and creatively poetic way just how you feel.. I want to write about feeling and identify them and not react to them...Reactions are not a way of life.....not really.....Im working at moving past that.....happy tody and feeling sad and all that...but Im just moving slow today and holding on to it.....exhausted and aching....inside and out...but Im feeling... its like a big box of feelings dumped out and now I have to live my life..function and dig in somewhere......coming here on my way to work from sleeping in ..missing my friends ride...not knowing if the boss will just let me go finally and not knowing where I want to go yet..(between women that love me and my intuition that tells me to live in my own place which doesnt work out half the time...) but my little issues are half of what others deal with every other day....So at least I know Im not that far challenged.....I enjoy writing here and reading others works..Its inspiring throws light on perspectives because mine are so distorted......Thank You!.....a constant contact here for me to read.... will come back tommorrow and write how It went....
from stardumb :
thanks for the second paragraph.... (yesterdays)!!!! means a lot esp on the waiting, I've had to do some of that for a particular thing and I've grown discouraged, so that paragraph shed some light! thanks.
from orgami :
lake is a mirror I dont look long look back but keep rolling on... a day of more... then and before...
from orgami :
sting of wind rage of rain the waves lash and glittering smoke like an eye batting off the hits of spray caught in the fingers like a cat with its mouse toying in the wind the soul of wind crying
from orgami :
bow to thee...gracious for your reply! tis a drug these aviary works rusted cage crashed ego hustler...the dampened worlds beneath the love...
from stardumb :
Thanks orgami, I enjoy your works as well. I often come read them with coffee and some music. I can count on one hand the diarys I check and you're one of them... I always appreciate your insight and comments so please keep coming.... It's a rainy morning here too... although it's not really morning, almost lunchtime.... Thanks for your great comments, I really appreciate them.... I think you're a wonderful writer and it's always nice to see what you'll write about next!
from orgami :
shit...whf...reading some kick ass works here and elsewhere...its raining but what the hell..gonna have a smoke and take the Sharpai down the trail she loves it...underneath the underpass..everytime we go under the highway and along the tracks and through the little old road I think of Kurts song..."Somethings in the way" and I smile because he said it best!! even though he couldnt hold on he said it and he tried....Im holding on...To my smoke and dog and humour today...I gotta stick around...and write more poems down...
from orgami :
mhm i dont mind...its dirty these waters..the rains been coming in...Im just not stopping..Im gonna dig in!!!!!!!
from orgami :
drawn distant...further still...Im into the depths....the horizon the truth...
from orgami :
divination maternal...I was my mothers child...our moods like rivers swam with a passion heart...stilled with the outfall of storms and quiet dry spells...high water marks of torrential inertia...
from orgami :
not sure where I am....out there...but pushing it..something..a tiger..a hyena...something...must get going..wish me luck...or maybe I dont need any..
from orgami :
living between two houses...female friends..helping out between the two...something thats different and not really....the old hood and the new old hood...the new territory and the old territory...mostly Im just tired and chewing on 222.s to stave off the back pain and ache.. caffienne and codienne...its like...arrhhh...had someone walk on my back but another wanted to be a part of that...and I got a sprung rib....that healed but it was interesting for awhile....writing from here instead of the library now.....acess for hours..
from orgami :
Nocturna....the bliss of this...crepe soul wither like a richocete shiver
from orgami :
emollient ebulliza..slip through this world..a rarity curse....a brilliant trick tucked in a hollow turn...a sweet bitter rush when Im busted ass down on my luck..(and baby I still give a fuck) .. still scratched out the wall with an awl...feeling the breath of the wall and its hot howl""
from moodswing :
pale cigarette ribcage
from orgami :
noxious basement rumours in an attic window beats futile the stillness of an atrocity awaiting a final act....
from orgami :
writing more here..love this place still after all the years...Thank You Diaryland....
from orgami :
supp...breath in the fall.. stretch a leg ...waiting for the moon to come up..
from orgami :
dug out the bomber leather from the nineties..the pockets with snaps so nothing is lost....the smoke pocket with its noxious cigs..the lighter in the pocket watch pocket left over from Levi Strauss days...days of nickel plate and pearl handle...here the moon rises to rest her throne..wear the nights brilliant seeking crown...
from orgami :
all these pockets..designer jackets and pants..now the winter windbreaker...thats why I dress in the same things I keep clean over and over....like my thoughts...but thoughts like clothes wear out....cant love everthing forever...have to let it go to put in new..
from orgami :
pressed heart racing the dreams like dorsal plans cutting an awareness..
from orgami :
rains begun the horizon and night stretchs beyond its hours where the wild things run
from orgami :
meeting...coffee...movies from library.. darkness and dreams.. its all me....
from orgami :
staropea wound gordian knots the sharp sickle dreams hoving emerald seas and pearl sunsets
from orgami :
sweet dreams precious in the stream of dapple stars.
from orgami :
Grout..pressed in the well fresh seepage.. under the forest shatter.the sunlight dappled...the wind an appaloosa...down to the pressure depths....clear and sublime....fresh and tasteful.....In the eve...the stars are sharpened....brilliant as the new LED lamps throwing their shelter safety for the visions.. the lake threshold cold and silent..pursed with depths and the cold illusion..a beacon winking like a dark dream......a wave swept under an arm.....a caress when a dream stirs and furrows a brow...hush hush....the night is just turning its wheel this chariot....
from orgami :
then life arrives with its samey same ordinary steps on your heart like a fresh pack of cigarettes...who cares about creative liscence and abilities....gifts for the love of words...its all about text time values and sales.....No one looks at the moon anymore...mythologies when the destination is more important then the saddle... waking up one day to realize that maybe this brightness is a curse....that the ideal was broken long before it was handed to me when I came along....angry and bitter....listening to Elliot Smith and Kurt Cobain....looking forward to the walk to the mall with its air conditioning..... sometimes the day just seems so long... but I know I me be growing..
from orgami :
a quiet day...no one on anywhere I should go to duschene but my cigarettes are at home..there may be errands and supper soon.....eighteen minutes here...at the ten stations there are just women...Im the only man....this is exceptional.....mostly there is a mix of people.....I need to be on the move walking home and dealing with things there like making coffee and recharging my cell phone to text....Today I gave Karen my notebooks I sketch in and write poetry doodles of thoughts...they are in a variety of format and type of little books...My new one from the dollarstore that I bought because Jessica works there is purple with a big flower..purple....They have no Man books there now....just these chick books...so be it..Karen is so interesting...taking me on trails on the expensive bike she owns a few years ago.....dragging me along on my starter scwhinn....we stopped to pick strawberries in the shade while ciccada sang..around this time of year too....its not everyday that this happens...Im no the guy that women want to go down trails....Im intense and ugly....with a direct gaze that people find unnatractive....We are great friends and its my intellect that she admires.....my creative venue....I find the books somewhat interesting..but not entirely all that great...Im trying to think or fathom why a married woman would want a single crazy mans books to read......except we have read similar books in our passing....the route...a connectivity in thought process...And what of the now from this point on?...I never thought of this.......maybe I have made an error...but I doubt this......I greatly admire her prowess phsyical....her agility with people...Oh I remember..there is a stubborn side of her that is intense...almost forgot that part... anyway its too late.....most of the sketchs in the interior are of another obsession that equally delved into my world too....Madness is reality...sometimes this is true... people always come and go anyway..may as well put on a good show..like an art exhibit..a word exhibit..... actually to be honest..Im honoured that anyone bothers to take the time....I am so close to always deleting this site and the other... My ego persona will not allow this and my rational side says..there is a God..there is a purpose...that I am not the end of anything but the beginning of much.....that stopping is not going to stop anything....we are designed to continue...that my work is not a meritful thing...winter is going to be brutal...I always have a very hard time......at least maybe now Karen can see what kind of artist writer thing Im going through..... who knows..I dont have a clue sometimes just love to write...its my g raffitti
from orgami :
Nine minutes and falling.....the ordinary arrival of all suppositions....the declivity of living.....I await the rains for the rich potency of creation....lighting...mood..atmosphere.. I sip my Yirgacheffee from TWIGGS a capitalist coffee haunt.....My love and hate for its shades of grey....or white and black socially I am colourblind......But I love the context of writers......I arrive here on a saturday...my city busy..the ciccadas singing..the islands deep in their mirages...I will be here Monday...my hour with the others...
from stardumb :
I feel very good today. I hope you're having a good day too. Just read the lastest entry, I feel like you were there last night if you know that much about what happened..... hahahaha keep writing... keep going... what changed my life is willing to do what God did for others.
from orgami :
I can buy books Stardumb and read from accepted writers....gone through the long route of approval and nods..okays and gestures..and I can just arrive here and read your refined raw emotion and feelings..words and thoughts.....no middle distance muddled to perfection.....but a pure talent....clean air of thoughts.....dripping with its emotive freshness......Stardumb you are a talent....I dont need a glamoufest roster of hundreds like other sites.....I have the loyal brave trust of those I read here....nothing will ever change this for this poet...
from stardumb :
I felt like you wrote that last bit about me.... I felt something everything was good because of it.... and now it's even better!
from orgami :
back from reading Your works again...dazzled..mine are dull as kitchen knives....
from orgami :
stardumb love yer writing...narcotic to my soul....keep on....
from orgami :
aching with the change of weather.. happy though...and old..I see the other old wolves about....and I meet the young on the trail with shinning eyes...not yet worn heavy with the hunt of life...of meaning..never lose the edge!!!!
from orgami :
spit....hungry and holy smoke another cigarette and watch the trail rise like steam to the wings of heaven the canopy of pain alive with the thunder of the rain......
from orgami :
will be sitting coffee now that autumns here...writing....every treasure that escaped this ruinous calamity of heart....a smile like a hungry wolf after dark.....
from orgami :
ere a spark the sprite... rising from the mists of all calamities rush.. a tendril written from a souls fire...
from orgami :
droned out..zoned out....we all have a breaking area..a beach where the great liners of ideals are hacked apart by the steady workers....I wander.....I look..I feel buried by the crush of the old ideals...fallen like a house of cards.....nothing real....
from orgami :
tired and grounded out.. like sparks sharpening a focus....been at all of this a way too long....and yet knowing.....I need my cigarettes in the freezer...my reward to the walk six kilometers across the city ....something I enjoy....
from orgami :
riding black beauty the metal stead the hot beast past the nostril breath of cars and buses idling at the light resltess with their spinning engines while the lights stay fast burning bright like a vision.....
from orgami :
Metric supposed to be coming to the city to play our summer concert...I have their cd at home and listen to Emily...I love her look..her voice...I love creative people...maybe because I am one....
from orgami :
summer grasses bend in bowing to the clay pressed trail the tea creek swift pursues a moment rushing through the thin limbed precepts... the rails hot shed of their patina by a freight hauling mine material and beneath this business of arriving night the sky shines through like a swift bruise ....
from orgami :
within and without..like the fluid motion of the lake..the waves..the shore shabby with sunlight..I need a cigarette ....I just need...
from orgami :
lil minutes....strange dayz packed as calcuttas rage in the temporal heat forgotten already how I kissed your scars how you accepted me back wanting the tenderness not the pain like snow you said it hurt if you let it lie there look away said I we are stars instead floating moving laid out on the ice of the river feeling the river surge beneath us life is precious as close as death you said our corner portions of hypotonuze damp and muddied like ruined shoes...
from orgami :
so much went from then to now....too much..hospital stay and a hot assed day sweating walking through city finding out what I dont have..what more is fucked up or on the peril end of ending..and then saw someone who just sets me off all the time..a great person...and I just cant handle all the input at times...or the output..shakey days..shake evening now....Im not in the moment at all..very few times Im here...but this is one of them...what to say when one is not all okay..going to go home and sleep now...try to shake this off....just feels to heavy...other then that its a beautiful day...and people believe in me and are saying Hi hello etc...Im just far away I can barely feel them or hear them....and Ive started smokin again and need one....need a coffee...need sleep...I feel wretched and horrible....I shouldnt I have so muchy good going on....so much...
from orgami :
library...the hour up..two minutes and less.. seconds soon....flowers duet....and a quiet humble day of reflection.....looking back...looking in...looking ahead...
from orgami :
STARDUMB!....cant say how much I love your comments and writing....WE are out there..searching like adventurers..like wolves lonely on the hunt...howling from hilltop to hilltop writing here nosetip to tip..words on our fur glittering....the heat swelter days when poems soothe the breast...the beast..and music lulls behind the roar of the fan....winter not far away....I THOUGHT I had romance...I dreamt...and the small little moments were to few...little treasures..I keep them....but I keep going.....there is more...life is not the bounty..or the harvest..but the striving.....I keep coming here to read works..words to keep my going..the old pics of poets like you...fondness of friendship and meaning...Poets...Poets....how I love thee....
from stardumb :
i liked sleeves a lot. it makes me think of the pain that turns you into joy. after thinking it was it and you were done... i never really knew how to be myself, sometimes i remain frustrated, as loves have gone and one promises for a future... God even said so! LOL.. so i write, wondering if life would turn so happy that he might even read these one day... yeah, i know that kinda joy probably doesn't exist, but it's clearly dreams that keep us going.. hope really, wishing you the best... love your writing, as always.... talk to u soon! x
from orgami :
june twenty fifth''' diamonds and coughs.. the thick smoke spins under her bangs the tip of her pale nose held high the curl of the lip from an angels mouth like a promise like a blade of sunshine honing blade entrophy sparks and hallucinations ..
from orgami :
simmer summer...dreams held like a cold front..the sniffles and coughs..the north breeze like a ghost whispering winter and shiv ering in the morning getting dressed...enough change for coffee..enough cigarettes..enough love from a smile while an engine idles...
from orgami :
june 13 2013.....coming out of a cold..summer ones suck big ones....bah....dreams vivid though...overcast and cool most days and then a heat swathed in humidity....strange days..
from orgami :
new loves.....sweet and younger.. half my lifetime. poignant eyes
from orgami :
heat ravaged the sweat stained evening restless as the lake the fan revolving like dreams ... take a gamble make a chance........
from orgami :
remington rand... I remember her like the feel of an old lover in a dream....the hipbones in the dunes of a moonbeam straying through the window..the curtians swaying caught in the breath of the storm.........I am living...the new muse arrival....this new princess of nite...pale as snow white............
from orgami :
Do I work for the queen and princezz...yes I did all my timez....a quest...Ideals..Principles.....bloody hell....ha ha ha serving them... eight years and then three...... thats like a lifer decision at the best!!!! anyway...a years run now... some teachings...same job....new place new system Im working for... in the meantime I will grow my hair get healthier and do a lot of walking and meeting and greeting.....Im still the same articulated crazy as always.....and.....another old muse has arrived into my world again.
from orgami :
dug through my archives and NO I dont have the dog paperwork......NO CONTACT..cant tell the girls where all that is either....and anyway I have a new girl maybe....new contact...working with someone....everyone wants to own everything and fail at it....experience...not all can drive past the high speed..not all can corner..Mommy Daddy can buy your bail and trucks..but cant buy what the pretty princess needs.....
from orgami :
grounded as much as can be...Neopoet offline again.......love the place but this place..DIARYLAND never crashs....sunny out..warm..hot..walking slow..DOgs have been given up or away...just went with the territory..girls couldnt handle them anyway..guess they were my dogs after all...Glad I got to meet them anyway...not a complete loss..not something bad...beautiful animals someone will love them in their new homes...
from orgami :
Stardumb....addiction mess...one year no contact..I love my old love..still have the tattoo on my left hand...the little heart over the i.....just lost focused..quit listening..got lost in the ruins of pity and grandiosity....they can grow too...I dont have to rescue Queen and Princess ..it was fairytale with darkness brilliance etc...this winter was a fairytale..falling snow everyday..how beautiful!!! I have two lovely hardened life vets working hard..been through the mill...love me...basic good people..something I had lost..asleep at the round table I was.....Must find the hero once again.........Glad to be here though writing..reading works and still be alive.....Summer here too almost.....Thanks!!
from stardumb :
new roomate? i thought u were living with a romantic partner, what happened? dont mind me for being nosy.. i'm so glad to hear from you. i enjoy ur notes and your presence here so much. so, other than that, how's life?
from orgami :
wake up to realize that not feeling was a way to protect something ..long ago that not feeling is not really living ..no matter if its a usefull tool...Its not cool...
from orgami :
Lilly....a sweet animal beautiful....took her for walks every day...all weather.. some risks are meant to be taken no matter the outcome.. Living risk free is not living.. Lilly and I Lived!! as we shall..
from orgami :
more snowflakes today..riding in them falling on my wild unwashed hair..hungry...no one to talk too...whom would understand the years of it anyway...too much..just hold it in and bury it in the angel gardens.....let Valhalla deal with it....why do I keep going..why do I love Life so much to see what goes on beyond all this hurt..this pain..this ache....Because Someone has too.....stubborn writer..stubborn man...
from orgami :
Yes Moodswing...but I love snowflakes..I could watch them falling forever.....I want spring to be here though too...a kind of pang for both.....it will come....Yayyy Spring!!
from moodswing :
WINTER IS FOREVER. the worst
from orgami :
got a cold...starting..my arm sore from the Hep B free Ontario shot...guess Im not infested as I thought...or maybe they wont tell ..some conspiracy...Im happy..two more to go!! My tea is ready upstairs on the stove...my cup with flowers on it down here...I want to listen to dead sara albums.....think about things...that time of year...The dreams are already pulling up all the archived shit and waking me up again...thanks dreamland for the tour!!! nothing but a wrecking yard of happy ghosts...
from orgami :
away from the library...fromTwiggs...from the mall...just driving on the bike...bike shop repair safety tag fluttering...the tape to mark trails..I left it on..it rattles in the wind..something random...been dreaming lots and not sleeping great amounts....soaked my bed in cologne to immerse myself in the spring scents..waiting for the creeks to vent...they rise and rush alive in the sun....the puddles throwing its rise against my back against my jeans my feet damp and cramping..my body aching..and I think I have a cold now...but its beautiful...the ravens nesting..the Kestrols back..the crows in crowds filling the sky..the rails emerging swerving away about the corner.. Our tracks there with everyone elses...while winter still crouchs.........
from orgami :
Looked for the comet but could not find it.. instead found the moon in all its beauty..and the shinning planets too..
from orgami :
Yes I return......writing always...Diaryland..how I love punching in the link and hitting in my password...the favoururite image...I still love the cat!!! and flower of long ago......I stood on the tobaggan hill all emerging of snow..a view..something they built for the rest of the park...coming slow...much better use then the patchwork of trees and no view of the lake..much better..
from orgami :
Yes I return......writing always...Diaryland..how I love punching in the link and hitting in my password...the favoururite image...I still love the cat!!! and flower of long ago......I stood on the tobaggan hill all emerging of snow..a view..something they built for the rest of the park...coming slow...much better use then the patchwork of trees and no view of the lake..much better..
from orgami :
raining and flooding pools where ice gathered and slept in culverts..reflecting ponds now for streetlights....rain hissing outside my window on the snows..still quite thick....softening their hold as a new domain enters...
from orgami :
slept all weekend but dreamed too..not the same thing as sleep..feel exhausted in my dreams too.spring I guess always does this to me...
from moodswing :
"poetry shall arrive again.. hopefully soon like a good nights sleep" it's true though, isn't it. even though i've tried to leave several times, i always return here. let's hope andrew never gets bored with it.
from orgami :
more snow falling beautiful at night falling past our lights the LED lights on the poles something new the city invested in...less hydro and a more beautiful kind of light too....High Def snowflake visions now beneath them like stars in motion I could stand there and watch them forever the random mathematical system of their falling I love like rain drops
from orgami :
thought I was doing good...but my face leads...a friend I met told me Im having a bad day and bought me a gift..put cash in my pocket and gave me a lift...in exchange let me in to his world..as the females do too..two now..hardcore hardworking and rather hot...Im just the walking man..scarf in the wind hair wild...eyes too....just a Desperado out mending fences....its easier out there...but you need me..and I need you.....like my friends here.. Moodswing and Stardumb and Damiho...
from orgami :
the mall crawl all six one of me two hundred thirty pounds..the black shoes the grey jeans vintaged and pulled up the tall collar of my dress shirt light purple pulled up The long Woolen scarf swishing along against my thighs the bullet and the cross on my open chest sunglasses atop my head...the big black faced watch with white lettering on my arm and my spinner ring I play with all the time ....the aviator itlian cut leather jacket shinning from the protectant spray I keep putting on and looking great...pockets full of badness and my back hip pocket with the fancy little book with paisley duct tape holding it together..my sketchs my poems my thoughts dates and words..Smelling like PLAYBOY cologne from the free testers....and my eyes hungry like a wolf...
from orgami :
cold.. the winter grip against the slush of springs hopeful wait soaking into shoes and feet like a summer rain dancing on the black skie of then and there.......
from orgami :
Hover star against the dark press of night the cold clamour that sharpness seeks the brilliant seer the pupil apt the constellations journey rapt....
from orgami :
far away like someone in a snowstorm is that me shapeshifter gunslinger ghost land
from orgami :
"your my river running wild" Likki Li sometimes I just have to listen to this... when its really getting to me.... all that does.. I always turn though only the true and brave run right off the edge that freedom always spellbinding the horror the horror coffee awaits me I turn now walk back the music soothing all the jarring notions and outside in the chill of morning the snow glistening in its tiny crystal perfection landing softly and all the city is alive and moving through their routes their destinations and searchs I wake followed with dreams to be the dreamer in this river of delve and deep articulated currents i live far too much there...
from theways :
imagination never left for its home in the soul no matter how bruised how beaten <3
from orgami :
I get so tired sometimes...but I push..here and out there....poetry life..work times...together moments....someone has too..I want to live...so many already gone....sadness...a weariness in all that...but of the NOW...In in it!! ..just gotta go dream....so hard to make myself just lay down and fall............asleep...
from stardumb :
I want to know: Is it true that we don't get what we want, but we get what we need. I've heard people say this. Does your life experience confirm this statement or no?
from orgami :
"Love will tear us apart" Flowing Tears (Joy Division cover...........
from orgami :
STARDUMB.......happy that you read..happy that you write...love is the tomb for me...the sun landing for that fifteen minutes...awakening the darkness of the millenium of its magic........
from orgami :
zephrarium times I clutch the weight of winds that have felt the light wings of your soul Vintaged and fresh real beyond confusion...
from orgami :
in the sunlight or in the moon the streetlights bathe... I am in dreams a vision of scorn I know Hope is somewhere searched and forlorn there is light waiting to fall in .. I wait too...
from stardumb :
i liked your latest one.. epicure and what you wrote to blocks down about feeling a closer love... loved it! i too am epiphanizing about that matter... while i travel in what seems like darkness and have found more darkness when all i want is closure and a chance to get out of my situation. x
from orgami :
etching...tender and careful the scars come...after midnight..when the bright cars..when the weather soaks up the dry day desperate wants..asleep is to awake for another life...one not so different then this..the love as thick and fraudulent as this...
from orgami :
suplemental love....give me the closer dose...this frosted gloss full......
from orgami :
taxidermy the sky is wormy drafted with a curl the cover up essence derm..pull this closer seal it with sticky fingers damp with termz
from orgami :
ask me not to eat the food so thats okay i need to run hungry for awhile anyway i remember twenty days once without eating maybe the dreams will be better
from raven72d :
"the dark or reasoning rising..." I do like that line.
from orgami :
radiant govern I walked star nights and snow fallen ways ..no one listened.. no one called.. the once sweet land of rich forsaken..sullen treat amongst the sea of dream rays sweeping.. the blind calling or rhapsody the spoon in the billet of the frozen cup,,, like this soft grave dirt rising up against the edge of a blue ...
from orgami :
steam rises on the resin plant...night is hushed in the creek valley..the small limbs of the tall treeks reach out for the hours ..the crystal winds dreamt full of snows...the hungry world spake of eyes..and this hunter moon polished...
from orgami :
witching hour......still up.gotta crash..Got my flannel shirt on Blue to bring out my eyes says Ataya...Loris got green ones like her daughters. the smile lines at the corners at times..and that look...nothing like intelligence...nothing...My eyes feel bluer and I put on cologne from christmas..feels lighter then the Patchoulli I like..
from orgami :
snow falling...beautiful and serene...slept well enough last night.......rarity
from orgami :
snowflake kiss tender like a bane to miss the icy lips and frosted breath sweet love in bliss the crystal light the bitter night
from silverluna :
I like your poetry.
from bunny828 :
Thanks for the note!
from orgami :
no hate no love just this feild of thought like drifting in static .... love was an art...
from orgami :
MONEY AND MOTELS....nickle tap dripping like a bleeding nose rusting drops like snot..wipe the heart across the sleeve and drift away in the wash wake ruin of the television skies..a naked hip breaking like a wave..a night jet dropping in...and the line of cars outside covered in rain..rain ..rain..make the cares go away dripping on the metal hood where the air conditioner lay in better days....
from orgami :
pretti pretti put the fingers to the head cascade the golden silks and look out the blinds at the world going by......hum along and from the dryer take a song and put it on...well heeled the wheel....and the ache goes on...Wretched and Wild..
from orgami :
the christmas tree atop the resin factory quiet the tanker trucks filling up weighing on the scales the little lit up booth.. the feilds about where the deer stand the little creek the empty highway with its stand of lights curving up and over..Our black walk beneath the rails shinning and leading in its s curve about and away somewhere... I wake up in dreams...lost..first thinking I know where you are....my jackets are allways the same..the leather ones heavy enough but not for winter...the cold dark skies and the towns full of emptiness and night..the dark windows like eyes....
from orgami :
one month eleven days..no poisons reality a strange place stranger then Lah Lah Land Dreams further then a sigh higher then the mountain skies
from orgami :
fabrication the snowrealm shatter caste ..paper angels crumbling..the frozen schism..forgoten system..Pretty syndrome..souls like a timbre of scale...Minature lush falling in a cascade of lust...
from orgami :
a score..the scar like a winter collision ..collide... this sharp crease full of stars and a single moon nurtures a deep dead hour wait ...How is your Love to my Hate?? ...(come let me brush your hair and I will tell you a story release you to dreams...)
from orgami :
surrounding the den ..and the cold seeps.. the halls wait... the echoes creep..
from orgami :
levity...shirtsleeves and winter freeze.. uphold theatre shadow forever endings ebellient
from orgami :
Yes Stardumb!..snowflakes are falling..the dogs were happy walking in the blonde grass trails and down the crushed stone of the tracks..On the bike into town the snow started to fall more heavily...The wind picked up..Winter is an old friend that I missed this last month....I have missed it
from stardumb :
glad you'll still be writing here! good news!
from orgami :
THe resin factory steams away the creek gurgles and I havent seen the does in the valley of the path beneath the overpass and along the railroad where I walk the dogs on the path Ive taken over and knocked back the weeds and limbs. I love the mornings before the sun rises...wake up from a dream by the dog asking to be let out..and away we go half dreaming and half in reality the dogs My pack and I on the trail first thing...
from orgami :
Damiho!!! how come you never write here...You are busy with life...Like thats my excuse..I come here so often...I read your poems...think of you every time I see a hot redhead downtown..Its winter up here in our world finally....winter..snowflakes falling past the streetlight where I walk the dogs..the creek falling from the old rusting culvert..the dead grasses and the lights romantic on the resin factory and steam and vent exhausts rising...the glue is like a perfume mixing in with the fall grasses wet beneath the cold..the ice in the puddles along the ONR tracks beneath my shoes...You are thousands of miles away and yet right here at my fingertips when I write..when I read your works..your words..I didnt think I was this badly in love..But when you called me when I lived in that old retro room at the VOYAGUER....hearing your voice when I was all alone watching television...I miss you...you write you miss me elsewhere...we are funny..our families and home life thinks we are funny...I have developed a fondness for you..a need you could call it too...
from orgami :
in high school I sat grounded with my coffee my sketch pad in my reproduction american flight jacket of leather and cowboy boots..my childrens age adoption said my dad might have been american indian..when I met him years later he had a SCREAMING EAGLE logo shirt on his female admirer had gotten him from the shop in Montreal in 1991..probably one of the first run hoodies when they opened that place.. (Hot rod custom engines for Harleys) that was mid nineties and high school was mid eighties...all the beautiful girls sat with me and the smart pop males sat to discuss dreams homelife school dates...guess I was a character then that could relate...didnt realize that school wasnt a waste of time until years later..that all that was a most interesting experience and worth much value..To my memory now and perhaps theirs.. I wear another leather bomber style jacket HIDE HOUSE italian cut leather much more expensive then the rep..They didnt send pilots up in world war two in leather cuts..and my pirate cross on a black string and my fifty calibre bullet on a string around my neck.. only now Im a poet all these years later...still writing..still listening to the voices of people..doesnt everyone>>
from orgami :
sarah was crazy twenty one and pretty i was crazy too though and didnt mind meeting her at the coffee pot..Didnt mind holding her little hand at the end of the meeting....glad I just stayed back...I have to respect Im fifty this coming year soon...I have no business in a whole other generation ..I remember being twenty one long ago and was grounded and working then..writing on typewriters like this and exchanging letters and thoughts the old fashioned way via snail mail..Dating too.. How did it feel though? to have one so young and beautiful flirting full time? felt damn good I wont lie! brought me out of the old shadows of age and enlivened me like I never thought could happen...But reality I keep an eye on...and anything beyond holding hands and smiling at a coffee pot is just fantasy...
from orgami :
Ella..your writing is my drug..I write for so much and others...and I end up reading your works at days end past midnight..or slipping away to the busy library..lost with my headphones and music and the screen with all the others...floating on words and the boisterous hustle of the city!!
from stardumb :
orgami! i look forward to your notes and always come by here to read your stuff! i'm glad... you keep me company with them. haha... i'm going thru a rough time again, it's kinda two-sided, on the outward i look like i'm doing very well, but inwardly i feel dark and like i dont want to be anywhere. i hope it's just a small phase, i feel resistant to everything. dont want to bug you with it, but i'm always needing someone to talk to. thanx a buch. much love. xElla
from orgami :
Ads..ads are okay..they are on another site I live at...someone has to pay the rent...
from orgami :
Its like a mystery Star coming here and seeing the two main friends I have...when you quote lines I am never sure where they come from..I write when Im tired..when I was imbibing..sometimes the beauty of that hazy unsure moment comes out..Love is a trick for me..was never taught which was the reality and which was the mirror..I love your writing..and the moon..Well its an acquired taste isnt it...and one cannot live on the moon alone..No matter what the beauty of it!!
from stardumb :
"where to you put love in times of frost" i love this line, it's my case, it's my daily fascination of where to put love in terms of frost, it's frosted over and i'm signing autographs... now i'm just wishing on many stars that i'm not the only one whose got scraps of the moon caught in their throat. xo
from orgami :
twelve thirty am time to dream..I am grounded once again and taking care..thanks Moodswing..
from moodswing :
take care of yourself.
from orgami :
Im still here Star...alive for now and happy
from stardumb :
thank u! i was wondering where you were...
from orgami :
stack...happy house momma...kiss me tell me to come back...this coma love sugar float...like sewing buttons on a coat!
from orgami :
lock the eyes for a moment...like a bush ghost..I see into them..their histories even if gaurded the echo is there..and all that reflection..
from orgami :
puddles flie beneath my wheel the radiant new bold spoke the Schwinn rim its worn this new old girl and we have flown our journey far beneath the damp cold springs and hot summer sun We've had our fun and autumn nights beneath the spooling of the street lights wandering trails suffused and weeping with the golden coats of poplars sleeping
from orgami :
still have the shirt.. the one they took from me soaking wet when they pulled me from the snow...theres nothing like a good sleep when your down this far deep....
from orgami :
I didnt..but I did.........the care of fuck..its about as much such...I want to wander deeper..its easier to not....and all I know are my selves like steps asking me why....not telling me how..
from orgami :
tinderbox....this gulch of night..alive with winds...alive with ghosts....look back..cant see ahead...standing at the window wishing I were dead............................
from orgami :
Dogs have teeth..they are a tool for sniffing..protecting..pointing and chasing out game..large or small..they can burrow to bring out dinner in times of need when maybe walking into a hangar sized cube filled with meatand pretty goodsthat you can pay for with beautiful paper..as long as that lasts...sometimes the power goes out..regimes fail..tidal waves and hurricanes wash your neighbours out to sea.. dogs and deer seem to survive and small game.. socialization is nice....Hey nice meeting you people!! lets meet again let our dogs mingle.. Wanna go for a beer and tell war stories>> whats your philosphy and ideals>> Id be interested in theirs..they were a cool team..probably have kick ass jobs and travel to far away places to take pics and kick ass.. the leader dogs name was BELA probably from that movie about the lovebirds vampire movie from 2008..in real life the actress is daring and agressive..an alpha on the edge.. the back up male had a large dog too he was large like little john I know large people who can lift great weight and turn on a dime and run five miles like greyhounds.. and the female can maybe corner in tight interesting places of peoples or at least start something.. Ive the benifit ot spending time with those of intense intellect and power and those living on the thin of the system or no system at all..or stocked locked and ready ... I just always felt a fear like the poor feel the cold..always have that hanging in my head like a chest cold Hey that sounds like rap and its true.. but Im warm the dogs were smiling and happy everyone has a story like the weather pouding down its mists and rains beautiful in its cascade and the view from up there in the hydro line break was worth everything
from orgami :
been walking the dogs on the lead..thinking of how my dad did this..Dog punching hunting..brought in eighty pounds meat dressed for sharing with the gang..small dollop of hamburg that im not sure whats in it etc.. pay five dollars..makes up some grub for us here..Sure we have modern world now.. but its messed too...cant change the meat factories.. cant make deer like cows..pockets worlds are gone now...we rush to something...Im curious as to what it is...The dogs and I...I cant help but to feel the wild in the dogs..how they are an instrument for man for hunting..how they pick up and signal where the deer are where we walk..even thought its right almost in town the Deer know where they are safe..Its my job to take the dogs out..pick up their waste.. keep an eye on them.. keep them safe on the road.. I never thought I would really enjoy looking after them like Im doing.. the cave dogs come to the fire long ago helping to hunt..they would have been the outcast wild ones... interesting ...
from orgami :
Wed Oct 8 2012... We used to have bonfires and put half an emergency flare inside a pumpkin watching it burn and sputter fire... Too tame the little candles.. when it was melted We pushed it from the stump and put up a fresh pumpkin!.. all the while the clouds roved and the moon swam with its dull pallid face The dead leaves shook upon their skeletal branch where once the lively Cicada sang.. in the humid swelter and the fan motor in the air conditioner shudders....
from orgami :
Tues Oct 9 2012..almost got mowed down by small black car..trying to cross against a street Cars were parked at the lights and I thought I looked well enough but I could not see him past the SUV's and was cutting at enough of an angle and saw him last moment sprint around curve with light and head up the small street I was on I just swung away..If I hadnt of seen him he would have hit me gaining speed and I would have been thrown.. (I have a helmet here behind me that will fit someone..) Didnt have time to get scared until a street later..thinking maybe they didnt see me either..too many chances come and gone like this already.. people getting hit..crushed..thrown all the time on bikes..we just dont stand a chance..and yet No licsence due to epilepsy and a bus pass costs one hundred twenty dollars a month!! Just writing this in case I just stop writing...that may be one reason..Until then I love biking though..just one of those things that all line up..strange crazy accidental points get you all the time....
from orgami :
tear swept darkness the ovid light blazes hot the windpressed lot beyond the wiper arms beyond the calls the alms.. beating earth the chalice ideals present holder to titles against the striking iron of need.. the dark storm night sotto voice need Urge.. Urge... this tilt wheel
from orgami :
september 30th 2012 ten fifteen am looks like a good day Busy moving..across town here tommorrow I know the mover fellow.. need a coffee right now The day smiles its colour richly the hills are full of bright reds yellows and summer green Photosynthesis is over for another season time for wax paper and irons with tea towels to preserve the leaves Not really but I remember this as a child and my father tapped the tree by us to gather just the sweet water that the tree nourished itself with in spring.. we would not waste energy by boiling forever this to make the syrup I think its ten gallons to make one qaurt.. but would drink a glass of this with relish then off to work as a railroad man on the CNR
from orgami :
Sunshine today... last of September 2012 needed to soak in a bath and sleep but havent done either in ages....not enough sleep but so what...back aching.. feel like throwing up its that sore..that deep ache..
from orgami :
do I remember D-land of old??? the years of 2005..2004.. clips of memory yes.. the sound of the doors terrazio floors the tube monitor the beaten down tower humming the connection glittering like a waterfall of colour .. the cat..how it all just evolved into my life..and then forgotten..to a point where I almost deleted myself from here forever...FOREVER>>>nothing last forever..I know that.. poets..words..bloglandscapes.. and the winter..arrival..the cape of sleep.. wonderful and exotic
from orgami :
roam..the reciever pushed against my hair ..your sighs.. your cries..vibrant and hurting..Our soul rich wreckage splayed along our landing...the betrayal...the burning losses flickering like hopes the fuel smoulder calls lessening the burden...cry yourself to sleep in your room holding on.. and I..find another world in the embrace of a bottle..while frozen dreams shatter like the forest in the night..
from orgami :
outlet ranging letting dreams suffuse point walking down checkered pasts
from orgami :
gracious walking was pushing it hard like im riding on the trail and the new town boy tells me to slow her down maybe my wild west eyes hooked to the horizon were cutting through the shadows of gloom waking the dogs who stood shivering and growling
from orgami :
co axial a sky coupler my dreams fluent..I dreamt you again...sitting turned away...I could see you looking at the afternoon in the reflection from the window you are going to ask me...aske me the same question you always do in the dream.....did I remember...and I wake up forgetting...
from orgami :
im supposed to shower its been dreadfully busy there is something familiar about warm fall sweat and old cologne the dog has been laying against me when Im on the floor watching tv to straight out my spine from rambling on the mountian bike.. I dont have the waitress at THE ALBINO anymore to walk on my back..her brothers needed her too..she was the best she just had the touch..natures first chiropractors.. love listening to U TUBE but I miss my transistor radio..the talk shows the music from America and Toronto and across the great lakes at night This static free perfection salted with ads is not the free range music its something more sterile and soul less doesnt smell of wind and dirt and dust or effort gotta just get used to it thats all shes so far away but I love her my Babe (yer fuckin' awesome) yah!!!!!!!!
from orgami :
raining..im the only one on right now..never saw this before..its a first...I dont want to be first..Im going..a storm is here..its beautiful.the rain..the beautiful rain...
from orgami :
damiho??? the whole night the whole machine and you are away....even slept..not asleep..quiet quiet and quiet...made it to the car show today with the kids..put on for charity..the hardcore toys and girls and boys...Kids are teens..jobs love all that..take me along the fossil..the archive views..they teach me how to see anew what They see old from when I was new.... we moved about like a little unit admiring the machines...they are smarter then I...the boy is a school valedictorian and the girl is sharp despite the bullying as is the rule for all newcomers to this city..Was life going to be so easy> never.. But he has an old four by four solid..The girl is very beautiful and adept and quick witted as he..the both are working..party hardies they are not..not from snubbery..but of practicality... Went to BallMart *squidbillies and I walked from there to home..
from orgami :
dont have money for it But I want to go see a movie at the big screen theatres..dont know what I want to see yet though.. The ones about the writers on the road looks good..I like that female from TWILIGHT I think shes radical and cool as an actress. I like her look..reminds me of Foster in some ways brow the shape of face..
from orgami :
Sunny Sunday.. clear blue with breeze a perfect late August day .. made it through summer with no hydro failure the grid held up all it took was that one summer of three or four days without it Once from a storm and then another from the eastern seaboard fault. Just reminds me how completely hooked to the system we are..In the old days one cut ice from lakes by hand and put this under sawdust in ice houses for the home Ice chest.. everything then was fresh There were root cellers for potatos and greens and apples and jars of preserves..No tin cans flown in from far away or shipped by sea on a routine basis. Butter was stored down in the well in the cool and hard work and chores kept people in shape...No fat pumped into us by the corporate images and Jam ads... All the food spoiled when the hydro failed ..the milk went sour.. Not all have generators hooked up in garages with electricians approved connections and generators...those that did defended these units too....It was so quiet and peaceful though for those times.. I think of the porchs where across America and Canada people sat en masse.. they used to be huge deals on farm buildings and in town dwelling.. I used to know where the springs were from where I was..Up here I dont know and five gallons of water most people cannot carry... No one stores ice anymore under sawdust.. and there are a hell of a lot more people then when these moments were popular and just ordinary facts of life...interesting..
from orgami :
I agree moodswing...I totally agree!!
from moodswing :
There are very few people left around from old-times, few that I still talk to or read or see or whatever. I can't think of any others than you. Sunfuck, maybe. And I've always felt somewhat separated from people around here, strangely quiet, even during times of many-postings. I make a friend, they go away. I like that you always sneak up on me out of nowhere. This place. Ahh. Nothing has proven a better receptor for flowery thoughts and un-ended sentences
from orgami :
ORDERWINE.. find your words the offerings tantalizing if I was here for the tumultous many I am dissapointed but the rewards are the rarity of jewels the poems an entire ghost town an entire city and one drawer one page shinning
from orgami :
I never knew the cats name..I didnt even fathom he had one.. Secret place...yes... I live twelve years in North Bay I write from three different places from two computers and the library with its bank of named stations beneath that air exchanger vent..like a waterfall..like the breath of a spaceship.. I was forty two when I started to write.. This is a special place..a very special place..
from moodswing :
constable whiskers! i miss him. and old diaryland. but it is fun this way too to feel like i'm hiding in an old, secret place
from orgami :
DAMIHO our autumn is here starting cool now soon nights of rain how I love them.. Down in your land the pole tilts one way and now we are moving too...are we moving away from one another? close is not a refraction or retraction...or refuted clause..I am so tired babe and yet I do keep going on... ever more a tired wolfie..xx
from orgami :
twenty fourth of July...I wrote atmosphere in my writings...I think of a globe like the snow globes...atmosphere..like a magic word where dreams are from...being made in the cold froZen black where the stars hide white dreams good dreams black dreams magic dreams tumbling slowly on their crystal falling hurled with the gusts in their swirl of night or morning rushs or calm stillness under the lightpoles shadow landing in the palm world the metal key The clockwork simplicity of a haunting lulling melody '
from orgami :
August tenth one oclock am 2012.. outside the rain falls tentatively and its cool and quiet. I remember these from the simple wood frame cottage of youth...The inside cedar beams and the wooden tongue and groove climbing from the outside support wall the metallic vents cut The large sectional window with sliding wooden windows simple and inexpensive that we propped up with wooden staves the screen keeping out the hordes of blackflies come spring...But at this time the sleeping bags and quilts we bundled under kept us safe and warm while we listened to the mournful call of Loons on the dark waters and the owl hunting Sending out his wave of fear to move the small and hidden for the ears and eyes..and our dreams were so different so far away from the outside world...out there where the storms of late August and Early were primeval //
from orgami :
August sixth Clouds were fantastic tonight when I was taking the dog for a walk The wind was so strong the waves down along the shoreline of the shallow beachs would have been tremendous.. But my bike needs crank gear bearings badly..Worn out already That didnt take long..hopefully it can be repaired. I fixed the computer fans and put it all back together again proper Sometimes I can actually accomplish much when I want too.. Sitting here listening to Devo remembering when people had to go to stores Shop try out records to buy and bring them home invite friends over on Friday nights to sit around and talk and listen to the full album...No cell phones no laptops no hand held devices in the eighties. Driving took forever and they didnt have the specialty coffee shops like they did..Some general purpose outlets that was it. Cold war was full bore on Reagan and Thatcher..Argentina and Britain Soviets in Afghanistan.. some cool movies and crazy fashions.. Talking on a real telephone with a cord was still okay.. Another world that was for sure
from orgami :
beautiful days now the clouds the bruised sky filled with the fire of lightning and the clash of the fronts the voice of thunder its special thats for sure
from orgami :
spirit of the fire....I see it now..Hopi legends speak of this too
from orgami :
very fitting Moodswing Last night I watched THE ROAD Viggo writes very excellent Poetry a freind from Portugal told me this another poet I am not a firekeeper I dont know what I am but I havent forgotten my people as some may ponder I was out there I remember the teachings are alive inside in the dreams still Thank You Moodswing!
from moodswing :
do you carry the fire?
from orgami :
Chlo and I talked and she said a lot of her freinds dont even know who their fathers are The Big Mystery forever What is fathers day like for them I loved my adopted dad and eventually met my real dad to see what geneticaly I was like Behavioural dispositions etc I was lucky to have that..I have the genetic disposition of both my parents and the upbringing of my adopted parents.. And I helped raise Chlo from three months to three years we were always together travelling Why it was so hard to just drop my end of the battle and be the person to leave I just remember how the fighting between my parents friday nights really still haunts me big time Like two different worlds going on No one was helping me as I was too outspoken I lived by ideals then straight principles we still call though when we are both calm and have some good talks same disposition is there I tell her I love her and that I miss her When she comes up we go and sit atop the old steam engine downtown No fences on five oh three accesible city which is nice nice view from down there and my love of trains she has too as we hung out at the station where my dads old freinds worked in the town
from orgami :
P.J.Harvey and david lynch clips from Blue Velvet and now the music I KNOW and RABBITs deliciously disturbed like waking from a nightmare to the all night movie shows the television liar with its cream tinge glow
from orgami :
june 16 2012 almost midnight..Air conditioners rumbling up and down.. listening to U Tube musings and music and come here to see whats going on..I barely watch telly anymore thats L's world and the kid when she's doing homework in here in the puter room Rooms just ten by ten or eleven by eleven small effecient units not the sprawling expensive old place ...glad I live here where i am..watching the rest of the world suffering..can just get by here without the rest of the bad air or usual crime stats..and at night its quiet like so quiet up here and you can still see the stars no light pollution from mega subdivisions ...
from moodswing :
i like yours too. even if i'm quiet most of the time. <3
from orgami :
out of coffee back aches like nothing Ive had before Its the bike riding and the working longer hours just getting ancient
from orgami :
Koffee Koffee Koffee..bought a tin of expresso but i just make it like coffee love the dark roast flavour.... got a tall cup with no handle european style mug thick at the top for handling narrow on the bottom for stacking and taking up little space on the counters and dishwashers i like it
from orgami :
got the brand new bike rolling about its a cadillac on wheels a Schwinn twenty four speed mountian but called a conversion hard tail its great
from orgami :
harrow dream I was alive and you were alive Concourse full of light and sound I can see the crumbs from your sandwich on the vest and the silver broach your mothers old watch .. how are we you asked me and in the dream I shivered remembering the cold March morning the night creaking open like a stove door where we sat before years stirring the hardwood while frost bit into the memories of a house and shook the rafter dreams awake dream wake up
from orgami :
What what sun shinning must Keep Going Onward..... painting sleep deprivat ed both go together well hot sun burning face from cold overcast days till now oh joy to be alive alive and now to cook some dinner left over potatoes in a T-Fal fry pan get this though was using this nasty one with the teflon scratched off for five years before that or about that Im still feeling like its crazy new to use this new pan though my baby I still remember using the little gas coleman stove one had to pump up Coffee and Kraft Dinner or meat maybe tea the red tank and the green enamel fold up wind sides and box with two burners and chrome grill the brass works the red buttons a certian kind of fuel in a tin one had to use good memories
from orgami :
feeling like just shut ting down from the internet for awhile...god can you imagine me away from this.......i need too.... its got me so twisted up and hurting sometimes....or is that just me my reflection Im feeling ..will I ever know....Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost in this beautiful horrid self...how I fucking hate mysef..........
from orgami :
disorder of the order///still the stillness falls the rain that cleanses all can you taste it the scent the sight the power of its might gentle so soothing timid and moody ...
from orgami :
supp gami? flying a tad low Look out for the chimney tops tbheir bound to bust your props ...
from orgami :
No Wheels...so walkings the bomb Mountian bike Epilepsy made my licence go away long back just a city dude now No more driving around with the window down Cool here tonight in Ontario Rain snow its a toss up weather not matter now End coming soon People out there in suburbia partying er up booze keeps yah warm give up booze for the moment let reality take me on the ride its different cause booze was in my face for years and years and years Anyway now its seasons of the rains soon Happy hollering going on winter long theres no place to let er rip till now Do I miss Gin? not really I can never forget the first few drinks through that glow that rises up to the brain i need to be here in reality again see what kind of poems and writing this will evoke evoke evoke ....
from orgami :
disorder.....sitting pretty i remember the fall surround you like a halo...a bitch of a winter clawing at the glass screaming in the wires and moaning through the limbs.....morning waking cold in that still dead air..Rigor Mortis Morning you called it smoking at the door with your bathrobe hung open like a red wing and a dark hard nipple earnest as the dawn star........
from orgami :
Thank You Orderwine....xo
from orderwine :
"dont want of thee" -- beautiful! xo
from orgami :
Monday april second twenty twelve two oh seven am....sorry dreams im not in your arms yet..not caressing parades of fears ...the clotted tears..catching hours in its nets...I want your flesh This longing stitch that hollow echoes like a bird forgotten in the room the window freedom caress....
from orgami :
Friday march 30 2012 6:50 p.m. must paint little bathroom coral strange because this was an ex's colour long long ago in a home we shared..All in life comes back again..colours themes styles the mythology of being away to paint thee walls and bury the decree of the pallid scheme..
from orgami :
March 30 2012 Friday one twenty two a.m. the quiet night abides her thoughts the hidden stars that dwell above the canvas hide stretched taut like a sleep
from orgami :
Monday March 19 2012.... writing the dates now// careful more then less then....dateless notes I prefer now the stamp of time... beautiful day up here..gorgeous goodbye fair winter though you fell your grace upon us in gentle snows the dreamscape light standard go (I never took photos of this This year) my black and whites from another camera and so it goes.....switched most of the old bike to the new bike and threw the frame away...nothing was any decent on it left// on to the next thing
from orgami :
Friday night March 16 2012..ten oh nine p.m. painting the living room so much to do yet Its not that its big but demanding in its detail..lots of careful cutting on trim and against the ceiling..exhausted but have to keep going...its like being high to push myself like this....its going to look great when Im finished though...taking a break listening to Suckerpunch "I want to Kill" something refreshing!!
from orgami :
One in the morning Thursday March 15 2012.. windy and dark..beautiful thunderstorm moving in or passing some distance..the thunder is wonderful and powerful..a natural occurence missing since last year..Good to have it back..Winter is going...lightning went off the power blanked out for a time...I think its going to be a very good storm...Its exciting!! Looking forward to it...Sounds BIG! gonna send this before the power goes off for good! and watch it from the upstairs second floor window facing north...(Love yah Babe..My P )
from orgami :
Hey Babe ..happy to read you..so glad we have each other...been what three years now??? You rock! Miss you! Love you! your the best girl!!
from damiho :
hey babe! twice in 2 days...must be christmas. bewdiful day here...one of those long, warm days we get at the end of our summer, and often into mid autumn. wong's is super quiet today, just me and mr wong actually (he's behind his little counter munchin8ng on his noodle lunch...smells delicious) am off to neo to write you (bout time i hear you mutter) aww babe...how i just adore you x
from orgami :
Babe...here we are both towards one another in thoughts I had no one really not like this not to think about to exchange and we are fearless in this togetherness now Wishing Desiring the words of the other and keeping the dialogue in thought throughout our day You are my precious my one Thanks Babe I love you!! Your Wolf
from damiho :
baby...just when you thought i'd forgotten your address...been here so seldom recently, get caught up talking to you on neo, and i forget about here...and yet here is where i find myself caught up in your words like a fly in a web (well, maybe not a fly, perhaps a pretty ladybug?)autumn has begun here, and i find myself thinking of you even more. as it turns from cool to cold, my imagings lead me to timber wolves and haunted lairs. how i feel for you...you are seldom far from my thoughts.
from orgami :
hopeless and how I love that arms at ease the restive middle distance where light dances and how many chances were there Babe how many times we hungered and tasted that bitter fruit cupped the night and drank from the broken edge thanks for the scars pretti baby
from orgami :
Cold a few days ago and now raining moody spring but acceptable the sun feels good again and to walk about in decent fall clothes/spring clothes ....broke down and bought new shoes from WalMart..sure it would have been nice to have the Sperry Topsiders but I cant afford those..not with family.. one dog and two cats and three mouths to feed....I gave up drinking for this full time...What is love??? can money fulfill he human part of being a "we!" I dont think so....
from orgami :
Yesterday it was arctic cold with winds Wind chill......and now today its warm with sunshine supra..slush and puddles...but its unusual now rather then as in the past..World spins towards something tilting...and we have no option but to go forth accepting its moods and rapid change...Or we can move underground like the Morlocks...We do have a lot of underground structures built in place.... kind of like the cold war...
from orgami :
Test test test
from orgami :
wet rains touched down but brief the slush welling up in places dampness at nights...busy all day.. half day work then Bunni and I had to do errands downtown..Good News! I found my other woollen miten at the bus stop..I love these mittens..
from orgami :
It's still coming down baby falling like innocent down like dreams taking their time against the night swirling past the lights surreal and hypnotizing landing on eyelashes and atop the passerby
from orderwine :
SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW !!!
from orgami :
Moved in with my Girls My room cozy..Been sober for a few twenty four hours Focused this time...Like being aware and back to being the Man About Town meeting and greeting..listening and laughing with the bros and sis's out here.Keeping touch with the pulse of whats up..Nice to be me again.. Nice to be back here where the hearts contentment is..
from orgami :
Its like butter on the wrong side of bread like gravel on the fresh made bed a dream I like interupted by a dream i like interupted by a dream I like interupted by a dream I like......
from orgami :
I dont fucking know..personally anyway ...magic number drawn from the hat.. been forever this like that......miss the missing though..there was nothing better..now its all un ordinary like the row tract poetry by table lamp...finish it and throw it back...
from orgami :
normality at a take..sober..resting..meds..dealing with the dealings..a routine albeit not my usual routine..and no ache no hunger for the poison.a stranger in a strange land once again..the calm before the storm...
from orgami :
realize..........that I really am into Damiho.......Her feiry wild hair...arctic eyes.. is it wrong this love, this lust>
from orgami :
sobriety was a tool.. when I needed to be focused.. when I was driving on call twenty four seven and more ...my dedicated life.. I remember..TODAY dressed in my leather and dress shirt clean hair and cologne designer jeans...there is purpose in serving the non ego partisans.. there is faith..I remember.. we are all involved!!!
from orgami :
..went downtown..snow and slush on the bike!!!...NO fender..(fenders look wussy..) but so does a jacket with winter gravel all on the clean jacket..Oh Well! Library for some writing muses..(many) Then home blocks up a hill across the way enjoyable though! Looking forward to getting a new bike this summer to do trails with Karen from work Shes pro at that! and then home here girls to sort through junk room and carry heavy assed shit to the dumpster bin and old wooden phone thingy (door on it for books) talked to young lady with kid in sled..she thought the phone thing was cool! all in all a nice day Went to store for princess for ice cream bar ..so good deeds all about..Bunni's soup rocked!!
from orgami :
Morning..Thursday..slept..kept up with day all day first time in years just given'r..forget that I could still do it! Happiness! now some coffee and the bike ride to half day work!
from orgami :
survived love day been through the burn and the landscapes changed ...i dont myself out there anymore.......but I love the land...
from orgami :
Ravens are back on the downtown microwave tower (old white and orange for legged thing about one fifty feet high) draws in near top for the platform for the old Microwave dishs and now cellur stuff but the ravens have a nest on the landings they sit up there talking and flying and raising their young..I sit in Twiggs a parking lot and across the street away watching them when Im down there and its not raining (yet) we still have winter to get through though here..So thats my happiness today ..and hanging with my Bunni today!!
from orgami :
One of the more raw and passionate quotes these days in a world tilting yet more..and still the sun smiles and the rain yearns....
from orderwine :
"someday you will ache like i ache" -love
from orgami :
cloak of fire prove Im a liar build your love letter funeral pyre Id fucking do it all over again to watch the sun in your eyes and feel your chill on my spine .....
from orgami :
warm sodium light floods up and washs down into the room like a copper fire from the trim trick dreams will wake me alive and still full of the vim that still remained after vitality shook its head and walked away Like the tired shoes at the foot of the bed like my ghost already risen waiting to walk before down too down the weary road of trepidition and tradition take me back sweetcakes and Ill never let you cry again
from moodswing :
i love you
from orgami :
eve or week end start of something my back is sad and filled with sorrow its a room of groans a hall of stagger pains I want to abandon life but where will my soul live?? like streets filled with snow and birds shaping the clouds and the blue so deep and wonderstruck beautiful you
from orgami :
Clinique....I dont remember Coco Chanel..I remember the hallways..landscapes that just stayed the same throughout the journey when your almost there and just leaving.. wind would tame the perfume like time would tame the tempest or the simmer..that fretful longing held against each while a summer rain fell on the parking lot and the car waited. sometimes life is just a dream and death is waking up just another journey some say and others say nothing at all
from orgami :
the "flow" all I know is when I read your works I lean forward at the library row of computers with my elbow on the table and adjust my reading glasses. I sit up reading slowly to not rush through it. I've read many works of poetry in book form and been here and on another site for years writing poems per day and reading them when I had puter acess. maybe its like going to a gallery and seeing something well thought out and presented it has its own element of existance if its really good. When you jumped from D-land to where you are now and I read through your works fast because I was cramming my hour with all the others at the terminals I initially missed a lot of it By the fifth poem I knew I was reading something that was quite different Now I go and read through them when I make time savouring them like a favourite read Newspapers and editorials are either banal or same old world woe Poetry is a break and damn! one that I need Thank You!
from orderwine :
flurry ... :*) i'm flattered you feel that way... sometimes your notes seem to mean a lot too.. xo... i like to feel a little head heat sometimes ahaha.. sometimes i'm not sure if im into the flow... i'd like to think someone feels it out there hehe xo
from orgami :
dampness in the air soaking through my light clothing GAP jacket looks good in fall and spring but this is neither but then I dont care I look good sometimes thats more important
from orgami :
Dulcet dreams/how seamless the madness/nights whimper in restless winds/tear away fade away the half filled glasses/settle these wandered pains/wait for the lost free rains that wash away the passioned stains this need around you now/close down the shore where angels soar/on wings of Icarus wax and godess feathers//
from orgami :
this cold and steam sweeping in the breeze gossamer and clear edged vision living alone where I need to be with the ghosts and the need and that hunger that no addiction can fill an ache like a wound broken and healed and all the sunlight striking my eyes
from orgami :
night falling in this terrible hue soft and tinted a haunted grey tracks upon the thin veneer of snow. the dark lane stretch of streets.. black and wandering in their way.. the windows slowly glowing in homes with life..the holiday shift..awake from dreams..like rising from the dead. the bed a grave of ghosts that speak.. a voice of a tumbling creek..sweetness rises the dark wave of relief...Did you think you were the one..the oasis party to take a drink...If I were you I'd cause to think........
from orgami :
Oh and Merry Christmas Moodswing and Orderwine
from orgami :
cold and I take it shirt exposed winter jacket flapping in the wind feeling nature for this small excursion to the store or dog walking ..I am alive and need to know that..not drunk beyond reason..a horrible horrible need to drink keeps nagging at me..but the even more challenge to kick this shit in the head is driving me on even more..and when Im stubborn..Im stubborn..Merry Exmus
from orgami :
Komfortz like a rose scorned her thorns will find and bite their blight and encourage the aged beauty with the brilliant tips of bright
from orgami :
fog this skinny light enhancing a creepiness alive alive the night she cried so now I sleep and wait I wait for the dreams dreams sweet dreams....
from orgami :
Moodswing Moodswing Moodswing faved and fond a treasure!!!
from moodswing :
you are my favorite
from orgami :
Yes Flurry xo........
from orderwine :
FLURRY..... xo
from orderwine :
aww, i love you... i really appreciate that. kindness makes the world spin, other times it's anxiety i think? lol. i always look forward to your entries, i'm trying to take so many new corners i don't even know which way is straight anymore... in life, and work, and my daily dysfunctions.. all sorts of things. even when i try to go straight i start to spin.. i guess if things were a still print, there would be nothing to write of or speculate on, right? i'm in such a transitional process inwardly right now.. reflecting on so many things, that poem was inspired by my college days tho & ends a 'now-ish' note. i miss coming to dland and writing everyday, i'm curiously trying to make more sense of my own existence and everything that went on while i was making other plans, so to speak. haha. i'm curiously trying to figure out how to be a little more acceptant of all the the things my mind does perfectly in retrospect. and then not cry all over myself for knowing i could have done every possible thing --- much better --- lol --- who knows maybe all the stars in all their various glorious aspects do represent each person that ever crossed into time and space, it would be nice to think that everyone gets to shine thru eternity. then again, focusing on the bigger picture has always kept me from enjoying the table bread, so to speak, the latest conversation, and all sorts of things that could easily feed the soul as well.... thank you! -kisses- much love- xo!
from orgami :
skating like a wind silent and weighted while the ice cracks like a slashing grin I want to care like my twin I want to say Im not a loser that I might just win but the gin speaks with its spirit grim and I remember that Im back again Back in the wastelands where Ive always been its the Shudder that lovely wonder and how I can smile with all the fondness with all the freedom my ghost and me
from orgami :
when of all the wheres crossed shadows and cracked windows
from orgami :
meadowhalves like split seconds hissing like rain in the static frame I place my footprints on the darkness of night I stare at stars and hone ideals worn and ragged how I favour them these lean moments when I'm weak openess is blindness the aperature where souls collide like portent fire the heartbeat of divine wind whispering and waking from a dream is it daybreak or evening crimson is the heart on hand the one closest the one nearest the one farthest
from orgami :
whazzat Babe say ya Luv ME tis sweet my mermaid And let me count the ways I dream of thee In rampart sleep and wasteland dream My hundred watt realizations flickering in the heater hum and I..I stand and stare at myself till I recognize where I.m coming from.....(and I love you Babe...i luv u )
from orgami :
!peeB sknaht bmudrats
from orderwine :
xo
from orderwine :
thx for stopping by. if you don't come again i'll cry. i suppose something something to rhyme with die. but i don't know why.
from stardumb :
beep.
from orgami :
dreams...and rest..another day arrives and yet I am not refreshed..but what allowances are the tolerance of being alive the distance of the here and now...imagination thrives..
from orgami :
..........raining here Moodswing for some time..Its a blessing Im dressed in wool Gap cargo pants grey dress My purple striped dress shirt with french cuffs I leave sloppy my dark leather white stitch skull graphis watch with broken bezel numbers that I spin (I like the metallic ringing, the abstract motion of this simple gesture with my right hand..) LORI tatoo on my right fading slowly with time and age The heart over the "i" still red....The creeks are here and there When I walk the Sharpei she finds them and slakes her thirst from them..Now I watch for them at street crossings and occasionally go out to the dock to lean against the rough plank wall and watch the islands and the sky let my mind dream portions of appeasement for all the bitter troubles that I love to stir..Only went swimming once this year and the water was warm as soup Tremdously calm day But a balm for memory....still I make sure I am in the rains and my Huffy worn out mountian bike does not have a fender..(I think they look like duck tails and I love the feeling of all that mud dirt and water on my back) love the rain on my hands and face.. I like feeling alive through these tactile simple moments....as much as I almost left here too I never did..I like the people I keep writing too for around and about...I love the analogy you use to describe what we are it is what we are......thank you for remaining...
from moodswing :
I love when you leave me notes, even when I don't say anything. It feels like the longest cafe conversation, sitting in booths back to back, one reading a book, the other doing sudoku and occasionally saying something half to oneself but loud enough for the other person to hear. I've been mostly quiet around these parts all year as I thought I'd "quit" writing here, then started to speak up again, and then I started Occupying government property here in Minnesota. Our property, technically. That has taken up most of my life and while they drained the fountain so there's nowhere to go swimming, I've been wading through a river of plenty
from orgami :
from: orgami "Damiho, you are my precious, my mermaid!"
from orgami :
two years damiho..etched in my heart my dark soul aches for you..your words fill me..our Interchange here and elsewhere I follow..I would crawl for you..you are so much a part of me it scares me and excites me..How I love to hear your soft strong voice on the phone..I lay for hours afterwards floating..on that high..my heart beating fast..my mind spinning.laughing estatic..I know I am in Love..Love with my Babe..my Mermaid..
from orgami :
No I havent been here forever...only a few years..a few entries accumulated...words in passing..frame by frame until the sequences finish..until I stop writing..at the moment I wait for winter..watching snowflakes falling past streetlights..its only one of my special delights...or a book while the wind howls and cries in her exhalted ache..in her great abandonments the rapture of change......
from orgami :
stardrizzle on the sleeping night of water walk me spirit talk me oh speaker this climate tower of our shadow dream wrap your butress leisure on this effort Lets leave breathless the dawns arrival
from damiho :
"fuck that (memory appeal)"...fuck me...one of the most beautiful things i have read from your pen. i have so many thoughts...but at this very moment, i have no words (you know them anyway) xxx
from orgami :
Nor fire to warm the soul chilled by flight nor star to lead home through the night Dead reckoning a faith a trust not all this an altruistic stunt where is the soil where is the soul of summer taken to her manor host the ruin of the manner lost
from orgami :
Where are the stars tonight no companion beauty to fire the traveller home The grey din of thoughts suffused and growing They are calling for rain tommorrow I welcome it soothing and chilling Make me feel Make me feel my body and drown me down from my mind Its been awhile since I have known the discomfort the tradgic beauty of this shelter ..
from orgami :
sometimes the ache has spread like cancer removing it is not an option no drug can soothe it but to bear it to hold it and own it do you know what that feels like??
from orgami :
Its morning..so tired..but happy!! sunshine and clouds..beautiful day..warm and humid..tons of work to do..gotta help L later..awesome to be alive!!!!!
from orgami :
My Damiho my mermaid how I Love thee forever been crazy about a red head I like rarity and the rare soul too exciting and daring calm and focused wild rebel Miss you horribly Love Wolfie xoxox
from orgami :
dress shirts wool pants basic work shoes steel toes whats going on behind the Foster Bans the cycle rolling cross town traffic flow chain sizzle shadows grow its all motion babe something for something the give and take like having it with your cake another sunset another sunrise live long enough to get the suprise it aint whats what but what is Dig homie waddup Babe I be you be we be
from orgami :
Hey THE WAYS yes PJ is a true artist WHITE CHALK just cuts through to me I love it when her voice rasps three quarters through!..Im an artist and I appreciate her artistic soul too.. the bee on that gorgeous black victorian dress she wears in the video Awesome!!
from theways :
and hello back! PJ has this way of evolving. her discography is a life in itself. and anne, oh anne, it's so scary to feel connected to her feelings. i had to stop at some point. read in moderation, carefully. words do kill overtime.
from orgami :
Welter the safety of the shelter shivering in the hot bath tossing in the new clean sheets listening to night walk alone on the cooler streets
from orgami :
spinner..and you the sparkling firebrand..you the swimmer already from the dark..how you mystify me and marvelous how you glitter..I love you Damiho..oh how I love thee......
from damiho :
no feelings regurgitated...all brand new with you...what is it with us? half a world away, and i hear your voice at times, loud and clear...this mermaid would swim dark waters for you
from orgami :
sunspot darkblot like a blind spot shall you hurry shall you find the weary worry of our kind Love is forever Love is a fever will you be my wavelength receiver
from orgami :
falls hush the night full of wander lonesome traffic and trains on the run
from orgami :
Love you too Babe!! Ever your Wolfie!!
from damiho :
just left neoland and wanted to come here and leave a simple message for you...love you muchly x
from orgami :
summer heat lingering how long how long happy weatherman the sky is alive with clouds and rains promise leaning like a kiss at the late night dance and damn where is the smile where is the music just this cool breeze I just wanna go home but there is no home just the end that uncertian end
from orgami :
I want the taste of you washed down with cold gin The heat of you upon my skin woman how you make me cry woman How I Howl like a man whose hand is crushed for a worn out bet and shaped forever by the mend for that is the ache and very tender art of you My ribones hang around while my heart does his dance aint it funny when we get the chance To smile like a fool this thing of love oh how it rules and Baby how I love the lance these darkstained years sun worn valance your crimson smile that reachs me reachs me damn the mile for a russet moment I know I know it I Love you Babe
from orgami :
let me count the ways I Love Thee Damiho mermaid mermaid how your lithe scale scatters light dizzingly upon thy feirce and lively heart how thy drizzle soothing of thy voice lingers like shore borne breakers of a passioned storm you whom makes the trembles of a fashioned Wolfie how I tingle with visions of russet readied warrioress Grrrrrrr
from damiho :
just come from neoland...read message and poem...so happy to again feel the closeness enough to be free to say; this mermaid loves you
from orgami :
love you P....forever Your wolfie..xo
from orgami :
cooler nights and hot end of season days our weather is favourable no mosquitoes here and cool enough for campfires without the sultry sticky heat..
from theways :
feeling like home.. i'm so there, i get it. also, i agree with the feel of lightnin' (old unanswered note) and atwood is courageous.
from orgami :
INTERCHANGE like treasure you said freindship and the soothing vowels and words you spun and I need you ghosts we have become haunting the miles like an empty road feel the silence and taste the wind nuances written in every hearts stutter from the chair how it had become and now it may have ended we are treks of tracks this leading this leaving Oh Mermaid what have I become?? ...
from orgami :
sorry I cant be happy but lost here in the weeds its quiet and contemplative peaceful so much going on and on going and I just dont belong in anyones world not yet not ever get so far and thats it shows over babe going to miss you how I will howl when it all settles in the fall the INTERCHANGE frozen now cut off and stalled empty like a haunt like the ruin it was and forever the shores Ill wander and think of you .....
from orgami :
"jacked up on life in hell" Raveonettes 'apparition' song for Lah Lah Landerland hot sun beating down and ciccada sings as we drift towards the end of summer towards Autumn with her warmth her full nights of sighing trees and crickets chat cycling around with no place to go just a tourist with my shadow keeping score and the darkness like a freind .....
from orgami :
delete nothing its just its just words just words babe you know how I feel about that I'm your love junkie and your my precious fix so tender and tough ....
from orgami :
heat..thick and this breeze in motion sways..the stars swimming at night in the haze..
from orgami :
mottled sky thrown to your ghost histories lighning riders your thunder voice calming
from orgami :
cresent this rise we share our histories telling like shadows in moonlight the stars are pain wished like fallen shards like quick snowfakes in winter rains ..
from orgami :
whats going on..sing me a song dance for me this day gloom hung like damp laundry lulla byes and the sweep of noon swaddled in its heat and how the time flies like shadows leaning away towards the dark lake of night
from orgami :
ongoing..smoother today sleep and off the booze BEcause Im broke either way it works balance is kept might live longer thats a good thing At library pulled three meetings in three days and more tommorrow actually hanging out with other members getting to hear about other peoples interests goals dreams in life eases my troubles and again the balance Im not an island not really or I wouldnt be here writing all this transparency for you to read But I love sharing stories and life Its what makes us human
from orgami :
feeling the width rare hours slept wanting to see the dreams turning away from the medications I can never own this wild dark side I cant control any of the variables but to smoothen the spike moments and dive in the pharma depths Wake up feeling like a sunken scarecrow Like half of me is missing Dont know whats worse at times that dead dulled thickness or the Livid living wilds neither is a great fucking place to be not in the least...I guess the medium doesnt exist for long More elusive then any drug any low any high..and life goes on and on
from orgami :
humid and hot early here In need of coffee slept three hours hooking up machines today life is grand sometimes grand indeed
from orgami :
cause for cause words spilled like voices I read you and its like music A Soundtrack I cant sleep lately without dreaming Vast visual dreams etched with details and sensations but I come here and read your poetry and hear music soft and tentatively played earnest and paced a backdrop mosaic each line a tile
from orgami :
sitting in the wind while dusk fell sitting on that old dead steam engine quietly vandalized and stalwart taking it all in The Caboose tipped over on its side with plywood sewn on the windows and doors with self tapping qaurter inche screws my twenty something daughter and I passing time atop the engine sitting on the plate welded to the smokestack perfect for sitting on and she on the steam dome smoking her players cigarette the smoke curling away in the wind we can see traffic and hear people across the tracks and away from the fences sitting talking about life and historys of where we are going too and where we have come to She has the same colour eyes I have the same artistic flair and style we havent been near each other in a long while and thats our time thats our thing to sit up there on the old steam train they have preserved #503
from stardumb :
my tears that fall for you they always pass through me with authenticity it isn't the amount i've shed you should know about it's how they all came out and if they went anymore... may it be your bedroom
from orgami :
rain falling always something falling snow soon again when fall arrives when summer takes its swan song rain hissing softly on the roof the slick pools sliding down the street sluicing through the grates the the underground streams the city keeps whispering through the trees and dripping from the wires streetlights watching glowing in their haze
from orgami :
I can shoot you up You said Your eyes gleaming your thumb sinking upon my vein exacting an exhultation you almost looked your age in the candlelight The upturned tins the crumpled weather of years sucking at the shadows where reality dissappeared You can live forever you said and your sadness grew like rain and we couldnt tell anymore where our lives began and our lives ended...
from orgami :
waking in the room walls crawling with light the window tall and open I can hear your voice as you lean in the corner the brittle vowels spilling like sharp adornments shinning on the aged floors we are tomb dwellers in the dreams of shaman
from orgami :
Krush the chrome sun funneled through the fuel feilds felled with fossil fission I finger card deck edges slipping like berms of nouns and the cush cast of syllable symptoms
from orgami :
raining steady in a drizzle downpour feeling the iron throats of streetdrains and the ravens are chatting on the tower slick and shinning
from orgami :
92 o F hot out sprinklers going air conditioner rumbling fantastic summer weather far cry from the minus winds of winter and the soft still falling snow nights beneath lamplights
from orgami :
morning cold and smitten this wind glorious and chilled ramparts of clouds upholding warmth
from orgami :
"i've both hands in a bottle.." fantastic writing Stardumb your comments here are pure poetry and as I always say I love your written work I always come here to see what you've written
from orgami :
saturday with its cloudy rumble the streets filling with traffic the walk here breezy and the ravens talking on the retirement tall building black sentinel watchers and no money for Twiggs coffee till Thursday..there are things to look forward still in this month..
from orgami :
the wave the heavy clouds giving me a vertigo like a strong wind taking all the lose letters and forgotten strays I read your works Stardumb the entries in their mystery in their meaning happy to find that hour I have here at the library in my city you and I are like the only steady ones I want to keep track of Love your titles to your works your musings the darkness seeping through them the light flickering like a brilliant reflection
from stardumb :
"your letters" was beautiful.
from stardumb :
i've both hands in a bottle and i wont look at you because true love is superstition and availability is making me hot like tango you'lll make me blame the name the only soft spot in my legs and i'll never again want to say it cuz it makes my sick with rage
from orgami :
cool today black nice hoody on purple shirt long hair and designer glasses and sadness ...maybe its just avoiding sleep avoiding the dreams..sitting in the room watching the television and reading books from another decade..I wish you were here..we could talk..look at least and catch our expressions..hear words spoken for each other..instead its just the night quiet..the cd music and all the sorting of memories..ringing like chimes
from orgami :
lahlahland here again or did I ever leave you there is a calm uncertianty in the moment that lingers like a voice the street full of cars my dreams full of people not sleeping well not eating well drinking way too much there is nothing the same about any of this anymore its all new all new angles all new positioning of ill logic and logic even intuition has been distorted there is the fluidity of it
from opposure :
Yes; scenes of our own making, as we make the world, though we don't always pay our own manifestations back with due awareness.
from opposure :
"pink cherry blossoms drip from trees like wet snowflakes" what a delicious vision. Sometimes it seems I must dig my spirit out of the grave of thought to breach the surface of reality, to experience the warm, blossoming world for myself, rather than relying on hearsay.
from orgami :
222....aquire sleep the dreams thick like the rivers rush the skies dancing in the dark winds tugging away the darling day dogs prowling and nervous ..you are in my shadows sleek and quiet watching behind the restful brows the curved bang the restless hands caressing thoughts like mornings breezes
from orgami :
our laughter how your telephone calls enrich me How I look forward for the nightstand ghost to come to life and ring like I can breathe now You my poetess lover
from orgami :
love fingers Damiho sweet the princess of the waves sleek and gleaming your halo shinning ....how you haunt and fill the decandent echos sharp as a sickle moon I trickle lust and mourn the distance great ..Sweet Mermaid..How I love Thee
from damiho :
still at internet cafe...sigh (my little asian man is always happy to see me)may have laptop back tonight...fingers crossed. will message you soon as. love you wolfie xxx
from orgami :
puddles like thrown mirrors ovaline and sure the wind cries for more and the poplars hiss there are comforts held and healings lost there are scars spreading like stains the hues of rust running red
from orgami :
something different leave that up to you My precious how I long and think the days fulfilled with your voice the conversation rolling like waves on that beach we visit often random entrie I shall go and see Love your Wolf...
from damiho :
what the ?...it seems the only way to view my latest diary entry is to click on random entry...surely that's not right?...and i deleted that test thingy yesterday (scratches head in perplexion) i shall put on my sleuth hat and investigate further!...meanwhile, for you xxx
from orgami :
STARDUMB the damage done how I am graced by your youth your thoughtful words lyrical and deep I know no great poetess's up here just sit alone at Twiggs the intelligencia coffee shops the earthen peoples at Hortons and Country style my books my refuges the waterfront where I stare at the mirage that exists at the horizon and the islands alone I dont need comfort in the arms of a warm lover a kind self other been at this game a long long time and been through the many stratifications and been honed been groomed by some of the most out there and wild peoples enjoying now this time this shadow of something greater My employment part time is exciting and I dont care what they think I talk to myself and sing aloud while working and sketch on my drawing pads and post them to the cork board in my work area A large window and CBC radio to listen too and coffee to drink when we want )they are the nicest boss team man wife and peoples( falling all I have to do is care and yet I dont Rule one of hostage negotiation is knowing you may now come out alive and yet its not ab0out suicide not really I love your works your comments your poetic lines and look forward to when you post we have been at this awhile havent we You and I, I can say write back and forth the most out of all the people I have met here ever I was in love with so many in my time and still am no one new at the moment catchs my eye I miss the intelligencia the instability the wild creativity of women that is hard to find hard to live with back and work for such a cost rather then the stable normalacy and Yet I love this craziness because its never boring love the madness for its corners its nooks and crannies and scary openess at times Im grateful that you find my writings and poems something to look forward to my small audience I write for knowing that at least when Im out there in the reality of the ordinary there are those whom know where I truly live where I truly love to exist Here on D land and on Neo must go Girls are expecting me (Ex and child of step whom adores me and Both I am fond of Admire their kick ass approach and minds their hearts of goodness) they try to save me but I dont know swept up in the vitality of darkness I thrive at times at being far flung from the sane admitting that I love this embrace of interaction that I look forward to writing you and reading you thank you Stardumb
from stardumb :
Orgami, this strange but excellent journey is on exceleration, it is always impeding a mirage, creating a new landscape, given then taken way, it is seven 39 am and i am here listening to tori amos. i want to say be kind to yourself always always always, remember and don't forget to be sound-minded and kind toward yourself... thank you for posting and commenting so faithfully, i appreciate your work and your comments and look forward to where you are headed after this motel thing.. may we keep journaling our journeys and finding substance and solace in each other's writings because i know i find myself there in your words sometimes. stay off the alcohol ok?
from orgami :
Stardumb thank you for commenting you are the longest contact here the most freind on D land our wander this journey prosperous and blighted never dull and always interesting in its shades of Joy and Sorrows thank you
from stardumb :
thx org, so i liked your latest entry... been feeling lazy and like weird about my eating too, most of the time i hate it and want to stop completely, other times i'm so anxious that i just need to eat... whatever the case may be, or bored, because my social life isn't as thrilling as i would like it to be.. but i've stopped drinking, so i really can't expect for more than i have, i have a lot.. i'm stoned this morning so i hope this made some semblance of sense... thx a bunch!
from orgami :
writing is to read and to read is to write happy that we as writers bloggers and poets can venue this craft this gift of ponder amazing we are and our gift
from opposure :
wow! what an amazing note! and when i came here to reply, i see that your satchel of missives is filled with more amazing poetry. i'm pleased to find someone like you who speaks in the venacular of hues. i shall enjoy watching you. s
from stardumb :
thank you orgami.. your work is special to me also, i love that you update frequently and your name in red means i'm in for a good story, at the least, very poetically beautiful... even your notes, you are just a true amazing writer, that's all, really are :)
from orgami :
stardumb I read your works and then think of them wandering in my city sitting on my bench crafting plaster at work radio playing coffee nearby I read poets Published but to meet them in real time this ghost chance place this is magic ...
from stardumb :
does it matter that monday happens to be the 16th and i prefer the number 17? job hunting today, with this rain, i don't mind it so much, i want to lift myself higher. the thing is, i want to start working out, but it's always a battle on mondays when i'm actually supposed to get going. and it has to be on a monday, or my routine is thrown off. everything wont make sense and i'll get discouraged. maybe it'll be this monday, or maybe i'll get high instead. who knows.. that's always the easier route.
from damiho :
and yes, i did get away for a few days. stayed in the city at a motel. will send you a p.m. on neo and tell you about it. sunday night now, and must start dinner ...will write in the morning. xxx
from damiho :
my dearest w, i am always here. even when i'm not, i am. have been reading of your biking adventures. how i would love to go biking with you! we could take it in turns to lead (to check out our arses in motion!) i am so happy that you have your friend to share these trails with, and yet i am also envious that it is not i sharing trails, apples and banana bread with you. how selfish is that? you are not mine ...and yet i feel territorial over you. this ghost that we became? this poets game?...i love it.
from orgami :
Dear M are you there? how quaint the eve of day the purple sash running forth where the stars will burn fetching and brilliant how I hunger for your latitudes your shy kick ass attitude been a wild ride of late all the tricks of the old trade I would hold you that I confess while the world trembles in its mess and I could count the clouds reflected from your pretty eyes and listen to your verbs and sighs how you haunt me and I Love this ghost that we became our poets game our love Surround
from orgami :
My pretty precious Mermaid how I miss you my ache for you body curved against mine we are a waver like magic dancing on the cusp of night gleaming like diamonds on velveteen (a saw Wolfie smile) ..
from orgami :
damiho how I love trusted and rusted broken forgotten token this silverfish stars skitter like tumbled jewels swirling in the winds I want to lean to you and kiss you feel the warmth of your lips and the comfort of your hips where we could sip wine and sing dirges of lost and sunken lovers and slink under a beach cover Ive never felt this way before and how you break my heart forever away (we shall never ever meet) so like a prisoner I am with only walls to listen to me speak and a tub like a hot grave the water filling the echo when I sing and growl out the songs I know training my voice to drop and be low all I know is I want you all I know is I cant have you all I know is I want you love love love is a strange thing and yet I love this feeling I cannot control nor wish too Just hold me babe Hold me as I fall asleep my ears with this dirge of Siouxsies singing (insert big wolfie happy sigh)
from orgami :
Dear Mermaid Love I stretched out today on the deck and watched the clouds pass Fuck what the neighbours think and I prowled about while the chicken cooked 350 degrees farenheight turning them tending them fussing over them and I fixed the windchimes stared at the yard the trees the brickwork the stairs and I thought of you and how you would prowl with me as we did the stroll arm in arm hand in hand how I would smile and lift my bearded head to the wind and laugh my hair streaming just past the cuff (It grows not more but breaks off wears on my collars) how I would dream into the blue of your eyes "fall into you..fall into you..in your eyes In your eyes.." Siouxsie Sioux Swimming Horses (Mid eighties) I put this on my headphones and play this and think of you always dream of you when Im in my tub my head back on the tiles my arm draped out the side wishing we could swim in the ocean naked you have moved into my heart my head my soul and how I have never wanted something I cannot have ever ever so badly forever the days go when I can get to a computer to write as I have no connection and no computer from where I live now so I am lost lost in love like a shipwrecked man and yet I have you my pretty mysterious mermaid how I want to want you forever .......
from orgami :
acrostic sign blazed by spilled cheap wine I could write across your bare barrens the lonely ache you hold misfortuned like shipwrecked reefs dive in the luscious dark where you would ignite in heaven the stars bright spark your writing sensous and filled with longing ache and loss the brilliant hope dazzling like a flame and I the lonely moth the flutter shadow come haunting....
from damiho :
"corner" and "porcelain deco" ...wow. still don't have my computer back. am sitting in freezing internet cafe with 5 minutes left. don't have time to read your email, would rather spend 5 minutes talking to you. haven't been to neo yet ...will pop over later today. nice man at computer doctor's ASSURES me it will be ready this afternoon ...fingers crossed. am out with mum today.didn't get to see her yesterday (mother's day) dramas with holly (teenage daughters...aaarrrggghhhh!!!!) so, am having MY mother and daughter day with MY mother today (monday) somewhere nice and warm with yummy food and delicious coffee. i miss you. have to go. don't want to sign off ...xxx
from stardumb :
the coming sails, they don't choose collapse or to frown or to throw their heads around, they all seem like captains fighting a war that distroyed the nappers
from orgami :
rain mist day with breezes cool emotive flags waver puddles alive shadows muted in cold pastels an interesting day I did dream much and wake much but rested and went to work and managed my half day sculpting plaster orthotic cast listening to CBC radio and watching the window scape the water in the sinks for wet sanding I love water so the work is pleasant and not unlikeable and so it goes ..
from orgami :
choosing alcohol over food I need to run lean wild with thoughts Im awake half the night disturbed by the sharp redress of passions loves freindships light and dark of the then moments long past whom said life was light or easy Yet I smile when I can take a breath and a step If only I could hold you feel the softness of you inhale the warmth knowing that It may be for me...but it never is Im a falling star still blazing how long this will last I dont know...the one of me wishs for an end And the other never wants it to stop such beautiful extremity of realms wavelength to wavelength if only I could rest and watch the real stars with my head in your lap and my heart in your care...
from damiho :
love to you my wolf ...this mermaid dreams xx
from damiho :
still having THOSE thoughts (oh my!)
from damiho :
darling w ...have been sitting here for over an hour reading your diary ...i'm dizzy with thoughts of you running through my head like quicksilver ...how glad i am for the gift of you ... xx
from stardumb :
one of the best notes i've ever gotten :)
from stardumb :
omg, gravity. :)
from moodswing :
as I just said to the lovely dinahsoar, I've not yet jumped into any waters -- still a bit too cold for me here -- but I will be in Florida by week's end and then maybe maybe finally some swimming <3
from orgami :
im glad i never deleted all my writing I would miss the amazing poetry here Thank You Stardumb
from orgami :
just went and re read DOWNFALLOW a random poem to remember when I wrote well
from stardumb :
thanks oragami, so nice to hear it from you especially... :)
from orgami :
Hello Stardumb You write beautifully I try to keep pace as I see you in red always Sorry I missed the last few days but here I am posting something interesting Nice to know there are other poet/writers elsewhere here in my old Diaryland haunts with me.. again thank you..
from stardumb :
tho i dont know what i said for the compliment i thank you and adore your poetry as well and so glad you update often cuz i look forward to reading you daily. thanks.
from orgami :
just reading through Sepia again sometimes i forget that I write poetry sometimes that its more then a blog entry I love writing on d land and over on Neopoet Im Esker there Was orgami but changed to Esker thank you for you comment Stardumb
from stardumb :
that was a beautiful poem, sephia framework. just beautiful.
from stardumb :
oh orgami, i adore your blog and always look for your name in red. even if you are only sitting at the library explaining your day, i find such depth and honesty in your work. there are only a few blogs that i stalk, and yours is one of them. :)
from orgami :
lead me on lead me on Oh damiho im crushed but not suprised did I dissapoint you My voice my ways You reject me and IM reeling broken a year a year of hope and now rejection Im falling youve kicked me in the face and Im drifting to my end thank you
from orgami :
first warm day in ages lots of people roaming about blue skies and black birds
from orgami :
winter taking forever it seems but I love the snowflakes the cold its been the first real one in ages and ages
from orgami :
reading my bible and I am liking it I would like to think God has a sense of great empathy if not humour and wants us to do the best Jesus taught that Love Conquers all and more and more I am seeing the power as opposed to the domination and subjugation I believe we need it now just as much as in his time for people are people suffering is suffering and to have faith is so strong no matter how trying things become I pray too now more and more I never thought I would be back to praying again but it greatly makes me feel not alone
from stardumb :
yes, i noticed you mentioned reading the bible. i've been reading your poetry, you're one of the first places i go too. Praise the Lord, call on the name of Jesus and you'll never be the same. he'll lead you to confess your sins and believe into Him and His work on the cross and you will feel enlivened from within and have a new life and a new beginning. Praise Him!
from orgami :
Damiho.. you make me happy too our brains bopping like popcorn happy popcorn bursting with vitality and alive thoughts sizzling in dreams wolf massage and Im sure your mermaid reciprocation would be most enjoyed ... mmmmmmm
from orgami :
damiho you dont know what you do when you write me how you fall into the seperate place how you swim and guide me like a spirit soul through my ruins from the crash where Im trying to peice my life yet still I dont know where we are going and I dont care you are a fondness that haunts me and your voice I will follow and my heart is yours (sigh*)
from damiho :
baby baby baby ...just read your note to me ...how i love it when you sound happy and silly (quite sexy actually ...oh lal la) haven'y had time to write diary entry yet ...life just so busy. read your messages on neoland, will be able to write later tonight when th house is quiet...sssshhhhh...write my secret love. have no time to chat, just pooped in here after coming hjome from little shop, and now on my way to yoga class ...stretch those legs girl!!! haven't been to a class for weeks, am a bit stiff. need wolf hand massage. have posted your wee parcel (finally, i hear you sigh) with the copies of my father's drawings, a couple of photos, and a letter from me. girl at post office said it should take about a week or maybe even 2 to arrive (march 4th today) you make me happy xxx
from orgami :
march 3 2011 sun is warm but wind is cold still winter hanging on and I love it this winter has been great like winters of long ago when it would snow slowly and peacefully all day
from orgami :
cursor blinks the sharp edge and mythoughts roam I am still alive
from orgami :
spring held in this chill and sun blaze distant peirce this distance and hove too in nights longing dreaming of the miss the miss of all this..
from orgami :
walking over puddles looking at the clouds moving this swift wind pushing us ..
from orgami :
agonies the past tearing up the dusty road engines of toughts purring beneath the sleek reflections was that me behind the wheel so much I had to learn and now with all this wisdom and empty handed I drive still while dusk settles like deep dark water from the blue shores
from orgami :
focus// whats that like walking in the snowstorm beautiful and blinding lean in and have faith even if its as small as a snowflake
from orgami :
i'm still alive hair shampooed conditioner down past my collar and flowing in this snowstorm never been in love with just the simplicity love my wool dress pants and purple french cuff striped shirt the shiny buttons vanity and ego a team of the worst kind but in check under a kind of control they are fab adds and I'm single and haunted and alive and I love who I am and I respect God and the lines are coming into focus again focus wow who knew??
from orgami :
cold the breeze slash I feel its fresh caress and am blinded by the bright off the lake how sweet the winter is no matter of her moods she inspires me she soothes me she ravages me with her tempest voice coiling around the wires bending limbs and whistling at the cracks in sheltered places and in peace in summer spring summer autumn her face upon the lake sets me into silence and rapture.....
from orgami :
Dear Floorplan from a gifted young writer as yourself this is a great honour to recieve this comment thank you ever so kindly Regards Writer/Orgami..
from floorplan :
you are a writer orgami
from orgami :
linger in the air the darkness slept in lair
from orgami :
I miss you how we slipped together like darkness like a shadow filling the hearts gleaming lonliness saturated in stars we counted them all till they fell one by one and I woke alone dreamless
from orgami :
all things in boxes so few forty five years and seven boxes and further five pounds and the cold seeps across the scars of land the chill a lingo speaking in dreams a tango in the wind
from stardumb :
wow "surreality" made me wanna cry. or is everything? :/
from orgami :
BEEN QUIET been busy the sun muted pale the snow falling I see a 1989 sky with ragged clouds and glacial hills and cold lakes behind factory roof tin tops the train tracks running on their raised bed from the iron trestle the dark river swirling the lights with their kitchen window amber gleaming bright snug town on wild hills the spirit rising with the bruise of night
from orgami :
Morning new cold like it was one other time somehow so familar the old pain the old freedom of letting go I have missed the road more then I knew but I will miss you
from orgami :
library lost cant find Neopoet what else is new the old news gathered like tithes we sway with gallant breezes Im leaving for the mists can you catch the last glimpse
from orgami :
blaze this craze piano score I remember the fire the heat the incredible burns Magnetewan bath my alms you buried me there the jinxed tower with the bear skull power covet the grasses swaying in the night breeze can you hear the thunder crawling in from the bay
from orgami :
cold morning coffee on its delicious aroma finds me here dreams full of sleep sleep full of dreams wake restless and alive
from orgami :
cant get Lalaland out of my head is it full of faded jaded blondes or ruminating redheads or just me in all the flurry thoughts like cardhouses falling hurry im sad and I dont remember how I hurt and the scars already healed oh what a steal at the five and dime mirth and for whats it worth I heard its all just backwards past the end of the beginning
from dinahsoar :
I love your poetry. Very evocative.
from orgami :
bury in winter gleam the white shaded suspended in night the ice waits and the cold summons spirit voices
from orgami :
trust what we eat...is there a choice trust our medications..do we have a choice trust what we hear..the news and listen with attenuation to our intuition
from orgami :
crush of this lightness soft as the weather closing down and this cold like a calm caress keeps reaching all the fragment ghosts in waiting
from orgami :
night keeps and morning climbs awake the dreams will gather as we search for meaning finding answers all time is smooth running through the cut like arteries of certianty gravity of inertia drawing life through its grasp and the stars keep watch silent in their vigil
from jabari :
o, and Happy New Year. may we all write our own futures into reality.
from jabari :
thanks for the note. keep writing.
from orgami :
birchwhite thighs and cobalt skies Ive seen much across the miles the ghosts fill feilds of snowdrift loss Beauty unparelleled horrific specifics and then between the rain and the shelter of this cold the snow lingers in your hair and sets on the lash where luminous stealth waits "everything" you say and I fall laughing not yet landing but I will hurt and it will be worth it
from orgami :
Fulkrum is me sitting in that coffee shop i dont feel sorry anymore not like I did Just feel lost and old and coffee cup so hot its the only place I feel I can watch just the view and not my back the only place where I feel I can draw a breath and the whole time Im in there its all just pretend for im not calm at all I just feel the coffee and the hot cups and when its warm in my centre where i dont belong I know I gotta keep going downtown to the library along the waterfront home where everything keeps moving and I hate dreaming so I stay awake a hundred poems sparking from the right temporal lobe like a lightening storm in summer the heat lightening flashing in the dark Fulkrum an open view that I wanted to share in case just in case thats all that in five years I wasnt real I just wanted to show you I did this once
from stardumb :
i really like fulkrum
from orgami :
sometimes I hate fucking love without it I wouldnt feel a fucking thing I wouldnt burn alive this scar that tears along my spine that flames out in my heart I remember a woman once who touched me before I knew how to slam the doors before I knew how to growl then I met another "I know you want to smile" she said in her hopeful sing song voice straight out and all the walls trembled with that power like a dark dream and the fire in the voice spoke soft and urging in the sleep I thought I was not found but she did yes she did
from orgami :
candles light strokes the wall in sublte hurry these fat summer wind times are dreamy and night flyers are bumping the screen door and the spirits are talking in the tall grass lean on sweet moon you rider seeking the flurry dawn time for the dream to move on
from orgami :
buried in shades of time draped in lanolin and wine words lost in frost morning and baptismal rains polish heavy hearts and weary limbs sighing with august winds it was everything and it was nothing
from orgami :
look and look again some things ar so there they are thin like higher air such view the hue
from orgami :
damiho its written that words are the some of love write about me like that and given a chance that number will dwell on fingertips alive spilling words like wine the dexterious dance these words of Loves worth...
from orgami :
jingle of the jangle shake your livery ghosts the horse quilt passion draped on sweaty back the leather touch of your glove and the comb filled with all the glossy loose ends You whom know me well dwells fast this quick study and our cypher like herribone stitch gleams in the night down where the streetlight ponders the postage glimpse of heavens endevours..
from orgami :
feel what is this turning inside flickering like a blade revolving the great sword I want burial secrets in cache gardens rusting lockets and creek beds sated with tears shinning like crystal ice on nights when the wind mourns
from orgami :
storm all around not the snow but the fires of the soul when is it Im never alone never the villan always the one at the edge so they can point when has it been anything different?
from orgami :
no season of comfort in spring mists in summer haze in fall splendour I remember dashing through rains the puddles bright where dark clouds brooded above us her red charmed mouth and bright blue eyes the curls of blonde how we talked and walked about the much changed city from now and another whom dug in the gardens helping plant the spring bulbs long tawny hair in curls the brown eyes animated her mouth a joy of stories and perfect white teeth and slowly I changed like a bay of rotten ice the water dark and edgy from its white wind swept calm the sparkle gone hold fast at the counter staring out the window hands nervous and wandering on the cup I hang on to it all and sit calm as I can while the storm lashs inside the lightening in my mind filling the wretched dark forest I wait for rain for the releif and ease feel the charge building behind my eyes somewhere far in the distant future of the past
from orgami :
no effort no reward turning over all and so it goes that life is like this at times
from orgami :
hours fallen through minutes eye tears construct fabric like silk they roll pain banners dampness and salt freedom wings for a moment free from shackles free of limitations the prisons width Snow keeps falling seeping and pressing against me in her cold embrace the limbs of the trees are hovering far over snowflakes melt on my eyelids I can taste them frozen and delicious the wind moans locked in her realms sweeping away memories host reception full of hot glyph meaning Its always like this always alone when I can think where I am alive and feel dead
from orgami :
death of night slain like fallen stars wait for the blood line of dawn to trickle over the horizon all the late night christmas gleam sparkling caught in the cold air I awake miss my dreams fingering soft hesitancies the vowels raised like filagree works
from orgami :
sitting in the room of memory while snow falls while the rain drips the hot summer sun golden in the haze touchs frost the cold moon lighting up the empty feilds full of glitter years flickering like the candle like the cold flourscent tubes like the tin roof loose in the wind where am I when I close my eyes whose hand was I touching when the lightening broke the reveries the wheel and the dashboard cluttered with roadmaps and Marlboro pack all and pretty angels with all their haunted eyes and all the revoked love spilled with satisfied lust of lies.....
from orgami :
lets leave the clock unwound and delve time with light and shadow beneath this overcast divination I want to question the distance in your step with my words I want to feel the impact of your heel with thought the sway of your motion with sound most of all I just want you
from orgami :
wake from dreams wandered far wandered fair and now the morning dim before the glare
from orgami :
all sync waves crash at once then inevitable calamity arises like always no back up spares to something bound to break sooner or later frustrating only realize how tired I am when these small things start getting to me All the small things start to become significant and the focus gets caught there get this other useless cheap assed item thats now broke out of the way replace it for the moment with a spare everyhing else because of outdated components which is hard to understand slower more clunkier why didnt I plan for this occurence I should have picked up a spare replacement We dont have the cash at the moment for the thirty dollars one day... shit fucking design stupid hygeine around computers no poetry today too pissed at layering of minimal concept for error and my own lack of forecasting this oh well Welcome to Life my fave saying
from orgami :
I look for you in eyes that never are I hear you in voices never spoken its cold fire and warm ice all the passion waiting yet I still believe waiting like a fool
from orgami :
calamity sez wheres my line chaos says Dont need no line baby cause were far from the middle Calamity dont pay it no mind
from orgami :
razor night nicking me the sticky tang of words oozing rivulets like slow rain this delicious pain and outside the trickle flakes are building thick the velvet mystery falling like exhausted tracer rounds
from stardumb :
i cant sleep either
from damiho :
"shelagh"...the painful beauty is a sweet ache. it is so good. i have no words, save for the fact i wish to have someone write like that for me.
from stardumb :
wow, just wow
from orgami :
everything turning I can feel it I can feel the age in all moments now there wont be anyone come the ending my moment of arms the tenderness is water where I looked from the shadow beneath that bridge its been a rather long run but there were sunshine moments and rain and loves pain gathering enough to make me real enough to feel at least I tried
from orgami :
tired the cloth removes the dark and she emerges in steam stained reflection I lean against the wet walls in the sleeping halls old green sweater full of your memory we walk and slip into the room and pull up sheets and quilts about our heads The radio murmuring and cold fingers of december slipping in from mist bound pines and a freight calling out climbs the rivervalley and i kiss your thick black brows and we receed into our history the Shelagh shannon turning old pages in new notations twenty four years ago coming up how I grow old and the wound of that still tingles with fondness
from orgami :
funny valentine such a sad song my damiho all love is painful even the most soothing and so it is our ache this pain we fulfill leaning against and for but never reaching that end that we partake how I count the ways I write thee how you bend my heart and ride with me in my step in this city full of wind and light the islands distant how you are wound about my soul in our INTERCHANGE how you drift in my thoughts like old perfume savoured and welcome I am intoxicated with this I am lost in you
from orgami :
water delicate runs light like light from a soft born night these press on thoughts we glitter sheltered and the beating winds will shake the barrens and cleanse the night of mystic scenes
from orgami :
beating taking flight aroused at the thought of chatting live via words We must try to make an arrrangement in real time to quest our tempos and query opposition like picking locks our mind to mind and heart to heart Running late this morning coffee still unmade my sleepy wolfie head but I crash this time for you for this nibble of words
from damiho :
shall we have this grand love affair? two people, never meeting, but growing closer than some lovers, through letters and knowing. the intimacies of pen can be our lovers's touch...each time i write your name, i kiss you. ahhhh...my lovely o...you do move me. my funny valentine...my friend.
from orgami :
let me caress the wounded eager let me sit with stillness where the agitation rises like whitecaps if we could examine the texture depth of our eyes across the table I know I would love you would love you as I am in words and letters gathered like a frock to keep away the wind while winter hungers in delight My Damiho my one...
from damiho :
wanted to leave some profound, beautiful message, but as usual, i'm running late! will have to make do with a cheery hello...HELLO!...and a hearty wave from across the sea. oh! and a kiss X (no tongue!)
from orgami :
birchs sigh like dripping static liquid and tired lean your head against me and listen to the steady breathing your warmth the skin blush hush the stars are full of the waver of atmosphere and the bright scatter forever
from orgami :
drag matchhead against packside bootheel zip bright exhaust the sulphur taste lingers sharp light this inscence and watch the trail writhe slow seductive to the darkness beyond the candle beyond the open window where night sleeves thin and wanders like the cats ghost ..the crackle of the song paused and the night pours on and the ash bends and dips falling in the eternal memory
from damiho :
through open windows moonlight falls like a discarded lover across the chair. withered blossoms lay upon a small oak table. the scent of musk ebbs from tangled bed-sheets, stained with love and muffled laughter. and the wind - it breathes with me... an endless sigh.
from damiho :
i too, visited the new neo and found all my stuff (not nearly as much as yours) was gone. i don't mind so much about the poetry, i'm not precious about what i write...but i was disappointed to lose the interchanges between us. we shall have to start a new chapter for e and p. x
from orgami :
Damiho Neo of old is gone my five years poetry from 2007 till early Sept 2010 is forever lost one walk along our lakeshore and a striking sunset in a cold winter wind cured me of that so glad you are here that we write as we do to each through our many letters I have grown fond of you
from damiho :
wolfie...sitting here listening to old favourites on youtube...bowie...morrison...the jam...the cure...house asleep, just me and the computer; old friends past midnight. can't sleep (again!) such a windy night; tree branches like boney fingers scratching and tapping on the window, sort of deliciously creepy...like the cures lullaby. think i might grab pillow and blanket and snuggle on the couch and watch a dvd. aahhhh, my dear e, how lovely to have contact with you again. i have missed you...missed our contact. your p.
from damiho :
nick cave on my headphones sings, "come sail your ships around me, and burn your bridges down"...i think of you.
from orgami :
sleep washs up around in colour quilt jumble in the mumble dreamtalk pillowscapes while the clock paces plods like a horse placing miles tracts of view like room anew and sunshine bower harvest warmth on all its touch...
from moodswing :
my brain is too tired to form coherent thoughts so i will just say Juniper = <3
from orgami :
and winter walked her drape of sweet white purity on all the scruff of seasons waiting the end of the dead sleeping under velvets sash and the black rivers forever running and the stars burning in their arc
from orgami :
Grey cough in the night the late sag of cigarette drag the street is empty with sleeping sentry cars their blue light blinking like beacons warning of shoals beside deep deep waters I think of my my love often think of you fair the heady romance days of thunder the freezing dexterity of phone words caught dangling like icicles on the line I remember warm mouth kises and near meeting misses all the sonnets pressed in the hot summer brick like prayer papers yet we are still miles and miles apart with your happy family and home and I in my room with little I own and yet im most happiest just before I travel before I leave the welter of it like a rut like a grave never ending when is it time to stand and find the sunset
from orgami :
another warm winter torn from a damp page with winds of dull rain and sharp limbs rasping patterns in the breeze that strides...
from orgami :
self all the reflection all the mirror all reverse image the night is full of freezing rain the lake lies waiting for the chill and I stave off dreams dreams full of rain full of dark stain that glistens under light like oiled perceptions on forgotten current thin and pervasive
from orgami :
aurora flame serpentine contrail watching you wander on cold star points
from stardumb :
and i dont understand why you try to withstand your denial in command while the matter at hand is sure to demand your point of view to expand and all you had planned is only a big picture you disband ---17yrs old
from orgami :
night gapes seasons wound drenched sulky at the wires tug at the wavelength stuttering through the limbs whisper loudly through the shims of ernest ovulation all these spirits shinning like polished pearls dripped tripped stitched on the glam of nights great thigh and I could cut this guilt from my arms write sonnets down my side this ache this shame this guilt coiled like a wire about my heart and in the night I hear my name on every passing freight and I wait and I wait wretched is the eternity of Love famished is the hunger of want //
from stardumb :
i love onestep, beautiful stuff. and your notes are lovely, so deep and thoughtful. beyond beyond...
from orgami :
trickster hunter hunger braize burrowed under tunnel skins slicked eternity sleeping swooning in the larceny of humid examination and words meld heartbeat touchs where the metal harvest fill pocket reciever static and I could kiss the ash from you I could fill the rains with eyes set fire to the tinder skies and starch sheet haiku progress pattern with every test you best me test me
from orgami :
On ice glitter fire like a hurt thats debt rub the shoulder feel the hip slender is the thin that stutters pressed tight and held in place by all thats right like a memory of burn black with the cries of aspen so much there was so much there is and all that remains ..
from orgami :
Leaning on one arm pale breasts exposed blowing smoke rings through the light falling in through the crack in the curtians Black choker white stockings Chaise Lounge pink with dark lacquer wood Clinique and inscence the flooring plank on midnight shift The hook moon hoodwinked and steady and the evening freight coming down the grade across the feilds into town Over the iron bridge and dark swirling river the industrial yards past our mill houses clinging up the hills to the contours of habit we were the day the evening the night clasping in the shower hot with spray our muscles weary perfume and sex and shampoo smell rising in the steam mists PERNOD on my guitar case and David Bowie sings about Five Years and life grows on patient like the gnarled cherry tree outside the windows ...
from orgami :
house of cards hour of volumes not sleep nor dreams I travel through the labrynth meeting all the old ghosts sitting at their corners nodding leaning against walls a smile a taunt forever here like a grave with no ending this trench we slip through in our passions in our need i remember the candles the jackets with the torn pockets you left your mittens on the subway i loved the golden sodium glow of there everything wet and damp how we shivered walking to keep moving not speaking the old appliance set you had the hair clips of your fashion you wore the long leather boots made me listen to Feist and made green tea in a glass carafe
from orgami :
your words I read them ..they are what I look for when I come here.. maybe I only lived in the moment.. I shall keep writing there are just moments of the usual depression ..just seems forever since childhood and on..maybe i dont want a morning i dont know anymore ....
from stardumb :
listen as the voices crumble, the the breathless night, it wasn't even a full moon.. but boys and gentle ladies, it was bright.. and when the shade falls against our faces we stumble and are made honest... you words are like life to the the aching body, who cannot breathe her lover's touch, stars are weary but the animals pay no price, and i am the companion to the night, it's morning that i dread... another day of knowing that; there was a path that felt betrayal... nothing stands between him and i here, but the conceiving spirit is brash like the shades that fell, across their faces and to their feet, begating the solomn campers to gigantic steps of purchase and heritage..
from stardumb :
wonderful!
from orgami :
nanogate like random wheel frequencies can be endcoded but they are a code and codes can be broken like anything languages can be deciphered lightwaves microwave its some kind of profile something different but where....
from orgami :
Holiday sunken megolith Your atrophy visage emptied and full of wait poured slow and wavering to the last drip poise on the edge wait on the hedge bets of callous timid I have to free the static gathering lined up at the line we are the gate not the wall ..
from orgami :
Moths fluttering from the mists as we drive along the gravel stretchs in the open swamp crossings roads rough in places where the old courderoy was put down in the eighteen hundreds and gravel or sand was wagon loaded across Now its A gravel all loose and thrown up around the wheel wells snapping off the white mudflaps of the trucks David Bowie is singing about Life On Mars and Beth has her arm out the window Sometimes we just have to get out go for a drive to forget about the life at home Life on Mars..
from orgami :
recall the melody sad and wandering I feel this hot dust in the air the pine heat this sun bearing upon us the road is long and the night is plum and there a yellowed moon waits and billboards pass in their proclamations and the green dashboard lights glow and the tires sing their song of travel
from orgami :
silted see just the surface all the hue flowing cupped in its bank far away this will reach the shores but for now it turns and swirls slow on itself
from orgami :
missive permit all pretty and there the sun poised and fleeing sit here in the cold feeling wrapped in surgical depression hidden with societies masque dance dance like twilight stars bright and unsustained
from orgami :
"Hows tricks!" her scarlet thin waver she whispers and barely moves her lips shes in her white shirt and leather jacket and Im fucking certian theres an open cell phone in the inside of her coat left pocket we wont hug here arms around the spine to make sure that everythings need be this tired furniture full of vomit piss soaking up the atmosphere shiny like ancient memories glossed over from all the fondness Im so blind some days all I have left is the sense of smell and touch my hearing gone my eyes shot shes wearing her old wear and still looking good and the right drag from the nerve damage gives her a swivel thats pretty sexy "Never tire of hearing you ask how im holding on Shannon" she stares evenly through me and like me I know what eye compensates know why Im here and the feeling isnt very well at all she laughs and her hair ripples and I feel like either pissing myself or relaxing which is great and completely unnerving the driver is somewhere near and I dont want to guess "You still wearing the fringe buckskins" its a statement opener and she shifts here feet back and forth like a pitcher getting ready she knows whos in the feild whose waiting on base knows I know too and that we can cut through all the shit but shes giving me the points first always a lady and I love her whats always brought me back here the last place and yet only natural place "buckskins gone honey.." gone like my youth my sanity and yet sitting here looking at her there are no lines between us just a thousand what ifs....
from orgami :
darling.. poise is stature ..we blaze like falling stars full of wishs and brilliant hope ..purpose wrapped in pretty aspiration.. our dreams dazzle like cut glass saphire and drenched with ruby light ..lying restless in the night.. the telephone at ready.. the ghost so beautiful in the quay the flank of slim hull in the turning basin of eniquity ..
from stardumb :
my heart it feels adult somehow clarity had its way at it like ripples in the roses that you bought one day for real... what a steal i knew you'd put all kinds inside... clinging to a past and path, he gave me life.
from orgami :
snowing faint listening to music on headphones at library writing five minutes and falling three oclock now a meeting tonight one of my favourite ones at the Presbyterian church love the hand sanitizer on the way in smells of the Psych hospital it has a nice view from the upper floor of the streetlights through the trees I need to get out on the bike everythings wet I dont have a fender winter is coming its depressing when it starts like this but beautiful too horribly beautiful
from orgami :
tucked in holding out rocking in the light this flare that hovers mouthing lyrics silent and hands smooth flesh bending fingers like wings under glass "what did you learn today.." "Everything........................." I burn with every flash the pupils clear never holding in the hurt like now I remember the hot highway walking barefoot on the line so smoothened I have never seen as many stars stillness pure as death the mirrors steam kissed in winter storm holdings "how could you" I ask the cracks slitting midnight all the bad luck looking leaning on the velvet cold of walls if I could look through what I am I would fall I can feel death sweet and distant like the lightening slash feel sleep resilent like mourning ash
from orgami :
Love the scythe lust hones in each arc bending the wood like a bow the resonating hiss our calm before our storm embrace with power you gush listless rays glimmer from your sigh the cold emptiness folds shivering like cards the walls knocked shockwave awe just knuckles and knees in dirty mile haste .. Let me count the ways I love Thee...........
from orgami :
lay here with the wind lay here empty with this body ache One day we spent time at the gazebo in the dark eating silent in the cafe watching your dark lashs the tall far overhead lamps catching the red highlights in your hair and when we naked pressed against the warmth while the mists slowly twisted through the maze of pines I knew that when I was lost I could somehow remember all that that no matter where I am I prop the window ajar listen to that music and at least momentarily feel so haunted and yet I can feel your body yet Feel your arms about me the blanket tucked about us the warm burned smell of the candle when we blew it out and the crows calling desolate in the thin light I know you remember all this and cry and how we have broken eachs hearts with our sharpened words shedding years the scars opaque upon or dreams I cannot wish but keep all that is the only remnant
from orgami :
"Go fetch water" thats grand if you own an SUV have a degree to afford this clydsdale and armour I own a beautiful sparkle blue bike and silver.. It has a coil spring and an articulated frame Cable pull brakes and I got this for free as I slowly upgrade via wonderfully interesting freinds The ride is a kilometer up a grade then down into an old basin at the foot of a great slope escarpment A great visage at the crest of the major intersection I will carry twenty four bottles of water in a packsack that is well made through the run of streets and crossings parking lots to home and carry it up to the apartment and put it in the fridge I will burn natural fat and burn no fossil fuel..(does almost fifty..hell Look fifty count as Fossil?)
from orgami :
Hey D or P.. Bet you look darling in those headphones miss you more!!
from orgami :
nouns verbs are like velvet silk syllables are buttons and lace fringed push up for emphasis sheen of conjecture conjunctions.. its all detailing like shaved chocolate and brandy in a proper glass... like stilletoes like leather... articulation of exercise all that emphasis like trick moves to loosen the crowd words loosen ambition fuel desire... qaulity costs and lasts and feels ... awesome............
from orgami :
Jim Morrison Admirals son said once "girl learning the ghost song on the baby grand" and he could play piano HE was a poet regardless of the drugs...I Love the piano..I love the simple accoustic guitar lately..Love the human voice emoting words and idealizations of feelings...a romantiscm that probably doesnt exist in functioning reality....a true ghost notion...
from orgami :
two interesting poems went somewhere I dont mind Its just that I wanted them to go here But who am I they are off somewhere or at least THAT title exists already they say.... and like they say away away
from orgami :
washed the silt from the gentle lilt held like an arm of the cup you chilled me in the cedar dark the dream ice falling Im forgotten already and Im not even dead all the want left in my head put down my pen tear out the pages Ive thought of you and not slept in ages ...
from orgami :
Patchwork harmony stitched with paths come wander and fall away with burrs gathered at the breadth of heel this succulent sky how we should ever still the wanderlust of clouds but why? close our minds and let our breath slip like riverbottom smooth unfasten hurry one button at a time
from orgami :
maybe its the meds but I doubt it raining again fall movement hustle I always was on the move to meet you but then that was my way i would rather pass by much to have that one rarity of cultivation that falls into many singular category I require and I Love you even if we havent met quite yet...
from orgami :
under the light adjusting the needle cutting the thread ends losing track of how many times Im sticking my fingertip re-sewing this jacket wool collar back on threw it in the wash without taking the collar off the machine tore it off and pulled the warm liner free in one spot Nothing that cannot be fixed All the painted on logo and imagery has come off too I like it like this now its like an old sign or wall with old advertisement just a faint outline yet it looks and smells cleaner Good for another three years
from damiho :
had a fantabulous sleep last night and feel very refreshed this sunday morning. brught sun-shiney day. m and boys off to play cricket, holly asleep...me very happy little black duck talking to my o...hello o! have been reading different diaries...quite interesting this range of diversity. i can see the attraction diaryland holds for you. i think my pooter may be in danger of exploding...there's a weird humming noise...oh, it's stopped...hope it's not 'the calm before the storm'.it's what, saturday afternoon there? i never know the correct time difference. where would you be now? home? library? drinking coffee? my grand plans for today? housework (oh be still my beating heart) and later, if i'm lucky, maybe a finished poem...x
from orgami :
wrote a great entry and it evaporated the great mystery has it now.. shall just have to construct another happy that you enjoy these little fictions
from damiho :
message below...sooooo beautiful. i sigh
from orgami :
vibratory prominence your aura glowing like the dull constellation of premonition like the clarity before impact we brace against what will hurl itself railing be strong you exclaim before jumping and night evaporates this implosion of caress and all asunder
from damiho :
9.30pm, home from work. very tired tonight...didn't sleep well last night. have been reading your latest entries...beautiful...haunted...joy and sorow laying side by side. some german film playing on the television...harsh sounding language. micah and holly in bed, david on his way home from movies. m watching movie...me plunking away at the keyboard, yawning so hard i'm in danger of swallowing my face. listening to james taylor on headphones...very mellow and soothing. how are you o furry one? how i miss you...you who i have no touch with, save the most intimate touch of words. tonight, i am strangely content with the distance of oceans between us...with the willingness to be open that perhaps would not be at such a level were we friends from the same gegraphic. your p yawns again, and thinks of you
from stardumb :
warm hinge --- just beautiful. beautiful words, scenes, emotion, cusps even. i dont know-- but how thought-provoking and fabulous to read.
from damiho :
omg...omg!...we're online at the the same time...i'm at work (ezydvd) sneaking a quick minute to stalk you!...sigh...my wolf...how i do adore you
from orgami :
;pbr love your poems Damiho I lap them up like hot morsels till my face is stained with them
from orgami :
doyyomh sitting in the dark the glow the screen at eye level slouched in the office chair the computer humming the whole side still removed where the tech rebuilt it humming now more convienent and peaceful hunger growling in the middle exhaustion from the efforts of the day half work day biking little sleep stress spend a lifetime trying to avoid the future and then the future avoiding the past Its like lighting from two sources its so interesting and archaic and unknown all this smokey mirrors cinch the belt tighter and prepare to burn up energy on the mountian bike across the way and through the city hasnt it always been like this
from orgami :
black and white on cheap paper curled from the humid heat of summers regarded in haste winters talon and the hunter moon raising hunger walking through the woods as the soft nape of snow fell to your lashs and adored them Your voice full of fondness when you spoke so quiet
from orgami :
grove ideal you sway about me Igniting paper love like the love of French cuffs love for love you say like picking locks sway your vision with the supple mastery of a slow blink how you unfurl your fingers like pale tapestries free of fretful hesitations and explanations I sip my dark roast and have no exclamation this foreign night depthed in its deal and the edge of calm surreal........
from orgami :
gnarl provocate this buckle displacement waterline edge nicked and profuse waiting candlebleed
from damiho :
the night aches and gathers in my secrets- tucks them into a sleeping sunset... yet still- your name escapes... your name... with its razor edge, and each letter a pearl handled blade... thoughts of you fly like mystic dreams in search of nirvana... and my skin bears the beautiful stain of what is us
from stardumb :
really loved prisons of lockets.. could so feel the raw raw emotion in that, i love that it was a big unforgiving but so loving and beautiful... your writing makes me feel like i'm caught in the wind and who cares if there's ground or trees beneath because the words falls beautifully cushioned by another shaken sometimes strange jilted thought... so celestial and yet skulls and bones.. ;) much love --ella
from orgami :
golden summit the light failing your profile as you turn I couldnt say goodbye waiting for you to look back but the city swallowed you up and the streetlights slowly came on I keep dreaming we meet never wanting to wake
from orgami :
damiho no notes on diarys just here on comments I like the seperation the partition splice im glad you are here like my favourite line My Heart Is Full *Effects of gamma ray radiation on Man in the Moon Marigolds* translucency reveals but not all tricks intuition still sifts and logic the grist for the quirk of the quark for the dare and the lark but we are neither or either of that and i am but your Wolf Interchanging on the Interweb this turn of a planet away and as neopoet was lost you are forever found my muse svelte and sorrowed with this shadow that seeps around the frame and withers at the glass I can hear the night breathe in the empty branchs beyond my window and i shiver as the fingerlings of cold herald the fresh arrival of winter or the snows to tread through and shovel on our short walkway How I miss you when Im even here writing how I long to hear your voice and find the Us we have always become away from the where of when now you are here like its the most natural occurence most intimate of places and how I sigh in the beauty of your presenting where shall we go from here my Pleaides where shall we go.....
from damiho :
i'm girlishly excited at being able to write you again on a site such as this. still have no real idea of what i'm doing, but i am stumbling my way around. i'd signed in as damiho months ago, and had forgotten all about it. going through some old emails, i came across a welcome email from diaryland! i've been reading your poems on your diary page, and there doesn't seem to be any way to leave comments...is there? am i missing some glaring link? (i have been known to be a bit thick) still in a bit of a writing funk, but i have a feeling being around your poetry (and you) will inspire me...*sigh*...(see, just the thought of it gets me all girly xxx
from orgami :
pocket of warmth from this wind slicing its discontent its wildness ready and bursting through the day the whitecaps rule the lake and the clouds are excited pulling the weather like a herd running what is it that we need to know to do We just do is all writing perusing reading in our need and want and I want you your words your vowels these nouns and syllable
from damiho :
psssst...pleaides here i feel i've intruded upon the inner sanctum. i bow and back out, hoping this message reaches you (i really have no idea what i'm doing)
from orgami :
mercury treading in the snow tail lights filling in the tire treads wipers throwing the slush melting the snow riding over the moulded pressed hood the headlights hot and bright we are driving the sound of the night watching all the passing houses and woods the rockcuts looming full of winters catch the heater throbbing with each passing kilometer the night is long the caper fresh as steeped tea....
from stardumb :
orgami, thanks so much for your notes. i look forward to your words as well, they're enchanting and even when you are writing about the simplest things, or daily life, i find sometime that hits me in a good way, your notes page is full of excellence also. very inspiring and whimsical... lots of fun to read. thanks so much, grace be with you :)
from orgami :
telephone wakes me up the house hollow and vacant live for the weekends and I just keep the lights on move the car cut the grass talk to the river at night and listen to the cow bells beyond the spruceline across the slow moving current the feild is there the concession road runs towards the high ridge beyond Pick up the heavy old pink handset and wait "Are you there.." your voice petulant and hesitant like you are sad we are doing this like you cannot undo the moments like unbuttoning a dress and slipping free leaving us like a fallen ghost full of the atmosphere of yesterday
from floorplan :
thank you so much orgami.. that means more than you know.
from orgami :
Leaning the debris feild like ice on blackened seas stars afire for all the distance where is it now do you remember the hardwood floors the indents of furniture and brands from the fireplace scorched like black pupils restless souls of hell settling for a visit Ouija oracles slipping while the wind whistled cajoling in the attic how i miss your thin ankles your warm fretful dream talk how you could sit up in bed before the alarm frightening me and those eyes I can never forget the colour you wondered why I stared and then the blush with the brush the sparkles lipstick the dryer spinning cotton how you helped fold the black window of night looking in at us Jupiter fixed in her throne smiling down lean in against me hold my arm your warmth your form all the intoxicating moments we clash the lists we thrust hot against a thigh and how I draw you up slender in your form the flesh like autumn ...
from orgami :
I read your words stardumb here or at the busy library amazed at production of poets poetesses muses I collected treasures once and I find treasureful words worth in many still Im an artist and poet and Im old many demons feed my fires and haunt my dreams but I always have time for diaryland for its poets for its writers and its talents like you
from orgami :
Im forgotten as yesterdays take out or carry away its okay ill fumble off to some corner You whom dazzle brilliant you can see your light that you throw take for granted all that garnish you ego with their cheap assed embellishments I smile for you while i fade your amazing attitude and altitude climbing you go
from orgami :
carpet on the sea of hardwood the grains striving in the light the hiss of dry leaves beyond the quiet glass the stars are coming out slowly in this deep sad evening the charisma of the longing is enriched and powerful like a drumbeat these thoughts are keeping a rhythym and the wind eases about the house calling in all the corners and attic
from orgami :
i got fat because i wanted too didnt care was sad and anxious although with me its hard to tell i just escalate now Im quieter and losing weight winter always throws me off but I love it i just have to keep going
from stardumb :
purgatory-- just great.
from orgami :
greyling horizon familiar like the back of the great knowns rippled with colour and the ash of bark shinning through the living bone of forest the sky is powdered with the smear of clouds tenderly seeking the mystery beyond the edge the colour of comfort peered above thrown back in the tan water of the creek in the green haze of the lake and when cold rains fill the cupped parking lot basins it will shine from them and ripple with each puff of breath the atmosphere offers and i will shiver far from complacent
from orgami :
candyblitz cream oracle dance in juniper this surreal bliss lonesome as a shadow kiss and study compact ...
from orgami :
crescent sickle sharp and white forlorn cutting free the dream root drama breathe cold fire winds in feirce brands the signal fires in watched towers ....
from orgami :
sunday morning cool for the fall splendour of colour abound time for coffee time to greet the day
from orgami :
waking up been dreaming dreaming dreaming coffee in a cup fill it with a little milk and sit to wake up
from orgami :
this back is confusing me how do people with real pain live with it its driving me this thank god the poorly healed clavical aches in an entirely different manner to take some of the focus away cant sit here must get going forty five minutes Im going to have to waste but the pain is too deep today too locked in its chasing me and i like it
from orgami :
life and choices time to rethink the great thinking
from orgami :
hunger just another need knocking like an answer gotta just keep going somehow cold out cold inside everything changing
from orgami :
Lola got lice and all her black shiny beautiful hair was gone her lisp and her dark eyes that attitude remained tiny but mighty I remembered this from the reserve the leader of the girls traditional woman driving that big old blue buick they would dance and drum out front up the hill the old seventy seven lincoln continental with the dead transmission parked just past the front door Joe pushed it there with the loader when they were cleaning snow dancing in their dresses and singing beautiful songs to balance the booze and drugs and the moon shone on the river and the lights of the town far away glimmered like water
from orgami :
kettle steams water liquid flows and mixe bitter brothe spoon flashing light flourscent and loud china cup chipped and the floor shines back the rooms dark overcast and cold the television talks the cat walks
from orgami :
people are people they chose whom they chose
from orgami :
sighs and the television is drowned in the wind through the windows the yellow lamp light from the street below dances through limb ghosts the foyer is quiet and empty with lonliness he wants to hold all the ancient rites the tools of memory for all the taste of dreams straddles morning like a rider leaving the back of sweat the night is full of weed stars glistening on the lawn of expansion and bright eyed circuit cars are transversing hours between winking streetlights and the airport beacon is sweeping the cloud like a lighthouse for incoming ships and i remember the greeting of her hips soft and serene the smiles of candlight while winter winds rattled the old poured glass in wooden frames and slipped tendrils across the hardwood
from orgami :
sensual night cool and trick rain fallen sensitive with impunity close enough and I can hear the waves the wind is tugging through the wires and the leaves are singing brightly in the dark
from orgami :
FETISH a thousand threads silken soft delicate as moth wings the tabs of acrylic COLLAR of soft leather the chrome aperature the punched holes HERE where the chain leash clicks the red leather lead stitched with white threading it has a delicate sound a feirce sound rattling down the hardwood and leaves the spine of indentations around the flesh of ankles around the articulated wrists OUTSIDE rain falls on the rooftops behind the time greased glass the cigarette packs and paperback Smells of pussy and patchoulli the stubble of her shaved snatch coarse like gravel down by the cement tubes watching the rain from both ends feeling the solid curve of it on my spine the cardboard covering the gravel mix the poplar trees singing in the gusts from the lake a freight wakes me up I can smell its hot breath hear the air dryers hissing feel its throbbing engine through the ground She flicked her zippo like an old pro I hadnt seen that since I hung out downtown in the Mustang cruising the streets and listening to Peter Gabriel on the eight track back when my leather jacket was new and they still made two dollar bills Was still cheap to go the strip clubs and fill the thongs on the dancers with folded cash back when cars still had round headlights and gas was sixty eight cents a litre
from stardumb :
thanks org. i also find your words thrilling, sensual, personal, instructive, and balling. i dare not go a visit to d-land without landing here. :)
from orgami :
radiant she smells bright as neon and I remember the sweat under the vest made me think of the laundromat the television the view of the lake the liqour store was at the corner the ice cream shop up near the theatre her upper torso was amazing the tatoos her conditioning to her it was just another day chanel and effort like the fencelin behind the bandshell always smelled of piss and wet leaves fall asleep at dark and wake up in the dark everyone relieved themselves back there what you just had to do to get through the day
from orgami :
WESTINGHOUSE rechargeables four to a pack black and red with brass ends I think (I havent heard of Westinghouse since we had a fridge back in the seventies and I used to have a little black and chrome radio that pulled in exotic far away America and American rock music and late night talk shows and classical Arias) Westinghouse so I buy them for eight dollars and eighty nine cents just for the fact that its something I once knew Its still something thats real in my jacket pocket with recipt that my life in the country on the hill with all those players in the distance was real That when I boil potatos in a pot I think of mother That when I walk near the railroad and smell the wooden treated ties I think of father Westinghouse if I think back to that real time hard enough I can tell you the colour and if I listen to my memories long enough I can describe how the fridge sounded THEY all did not sound alike not back then maybe my dreams are all different they just dreamed alike WESTINGHOUSE where have you been so long Now you are in my little digital camera borrowed from the kid (kid bought new Fujifilm) only I cant seem to take new memory photos yet I keep thinking of radio when he wind hits the trees and scrapes the second story eave and brickwork Keep thinking of Grape soda pop and Mr Freezes and an Ice Cube tray in aluminum I remember Halloween costumes and masks that smelled of dust and cedar shavings from the first story attic remember that Westinghouse radio it took batteries too Nine Volts Eveready was what I used Nine Lives
from orgami :
spent time in library reading AZURRE mag or something then NEWYORKER no wait I didnt get to NEWYORKER didnt get to ADBUSTERS or WALRUS they have nice fauxe leather chairs low to the ground armless more like college style Ordinary work tables chrome legs wood top I used to read four books a month from here and more sifting through this and that Much like perusing the web only it was harder Had to spend time focusing now I rent CD.s and I forgot to take them back probably going to cost me eight dollars late charges but its been busy here
from orgami :
dont move she says her slender arm reachs under the coils of the bed for the Liouseville Sluggerette Shes a cat padding naked to the front door slowly she puts a blue eye to the bright pinprick realm I can hear the birds screaming four rooftops over can see the muddy glass streaked with pigeon shit the wires crooked running here and there someones television is playing and I can smell bacon comes back with it over her shoulders her left arm draped over the weighted end she smiles and climbs back in snuggles up against me and kisses my arms I dont know what the fuck to say and fall asleep in my dreams its Alphonse and I trying to start the Buick we were going to Welland that weekend and we thought the tires were good always the same I never end up driving at the last minute I have to go elsewhere and watch them slide in and back down the long rural driveway to the concession road I fall asleep to pigeons cooing on the fire escape
from orgami :
wake up at nine thirty there is still coffee in the cup and I drink it Bitter oily thick and delicious cold as a winter morning in October late dreams all I did was dream and wake up to this this non dream cleaned the apartment yesterday washed the dishes put everything away tidied up vacumed cleaned the cat litter scrubbed the toilet washed the sink had my bible study with Dale which went well short and sweet "see you Tuesday" then slept Its the Canadian Labour Day holiday Kid goes to school again tommorrow I go to work for one day maybe or less Timmins work is done for the moment so I may be off work again for three days now that its cooler will give me time to bike around sit in the library check out a few things on the trails from the little green book full of maps and pictures they gave us in the Christmas Basket overcast and windy all last night I love this time of year the little birch scratching the side of the house
from moodswing :
goodness. you are on a roll.
from orgami :
shivering this fever while the wind howls curled up feeling the bones in my fingers my feet cramping the blankets thrown off and the telephone was ringing I can see you at the end of the bed not the real you but you the you that haunts me I can feel your small hand on my hip I know if I turn the light from the streetlamp will shine through you "I love you" is all you say and I want to cry and I havent eaten Im full of dreams lost within them no escape no chance no luck
from orgami :
grey tipped dusk washed the lead of afternoon flat all the distended agony of this thought revolution sheltered like dog moons there is fire dancing in the demon of desolute haunt I can feel the words gathering in the sump of dreams the greasy clasp of water trickling archaic love beaten into beautiful desire on the feirce furnace of want how I ache just for a shiver your reflection signature nudging my theory of waves you are a star I shoot at when Im haunted
from orgami :
night punctuates hitting the top button the glow of the battery clock green lcd counting hours like depth soundings coast runners dreams scraping shoals long forgotten bannisters where my ringed fingers have not slid on warm wood the thick smells of habit on your clothes the fine down at the nape of your neck the rain is hitting the slate out on the dormer splaying through the dark maple and the hungry city gulps in its drink washing the dirty pale suns work away leaving imprints of clouds on cracked parking lot patterns I wish there was more of us in that year leaning against the trunk of a tree Your legs outstretched your nails bright red I remember how our flesh felt against each other and now we are just caricatures dancing as a puppet for your master pulling the strings but you have never been different its your role you desire and my eyes are devouring the ordinary looking for the bright difference amongst the plain
from orgami :
ongoing going on
from orgami :
soft harsh love like illiterate is punishment like hot sunshine on naked knees there is bending in belonging there is beautiful assertion in being lonely I have yet to tell you how beautiful you have been how the edges of this have scarred in our making the shadowfall like fresh snows and will Tenderness ever be resilent and receptive
from orgami :
fall and the heat in the woods everything is dry like seasoned tinder there are fires in other places everywhere and its no wonder the sun is so powerful and there are not the rains here as before everything is changing the seasons the rapid dissapearance of the ice up north the storms earthquakes picking up like never ever before we dont have water stored or an emergency flashlight radio here at all Im just in good enough shape to lug this stuff and there are lots of water trucks here in the city and we have a pretty new system there are only fifty five thousand to look after here we are lucky
from orgami :
I stink smell that is like an animal sometimes I like this we have with our modern shut down our senses tamed them as we try but there are so much ancient in us rivers running that we have forgotten to drink from our meat is bland now we forgo flavour for packing freshness we forget what passion what sustenance is all about Napolean used to make Josephine put an apple under her armpit and when he returned from battle he would eat it brilliant tactician amazing man he loved her his passion for her and she did that for him now its all companies making millions telling us what we are to smell like taste like masking everything natural everything wild we may as well be lobotomized remove sense of taste smell from us I will always love my sense as they stay with me as long as possible I am not afraid of my senses and I know what empassions me what can evoke memory maybe im so much more animal at times then human still perhaps ggrrrrrrrr!!
from orgami :
Friday and my back left side was rather painful had to shove it with my left after behind me back of my hand on right hip and with right hand shoving left hand try to force my posture to the right shove the hip to the left Very painful and twitching in left foot nerves its all messed up from injuries and age took some painkillers again and I think its the exhaustion too taking its tool something with the southern wind now everyone at Meeting tonight talking about sinuses Ive been sneezing all day Just poor air in our world today survived day at work Everyone eating in the lunch room or passing through our little tribe seven of us at one point I usually leave before lunch prefering the library the coffee shop this computer at home if I can get on it so tired but so addicted was a nice evening beautiful beyond words cool clear and windy haunted truly..the best kind
from moodswing :
"i must sleep and return/age and be here" .// sigh
from orgami :
feel sickness the pain surreal naseau from too many painkillers age the killer slow wrapping bones muscle tissue from old battles fading in and out like a voice pay it no heed driver drive on but it fucking talks and I have to listen and rest full of surreal dreams vivid How i hate to sleep and dream lean back in this well made office chair the spine is talking this season change harsh but thats the price of life the price of making it this far when others have it not anymore I feel worn and battered by my disregard of youth and yet a fire that burns still that im still here still here
from stardumb :
thanks! la di da! appreciate your writing also... and it doesnt make any difference if you're an older poet... so said it as if it did... i like different age perspectives... always liked the company of older kind people also... take care. God bless. :)
from killsoft :
skeet skeet
from stardumb :
love the last entry. i wish you would write these notes as entries. i like reading poems more than poem-looking daily discretions.. but you don't have to listen to me. i'm apparently not good enough to be one of your favs anyway and it's rare that i fav a diary that hasn't faved me back.. so really find your diary interesting and your poetry outstanding, love the way you use words and how the images change just by a line or phrase or single word. other than that, just saying hello... :)
from orgami :
quiet in the moon full dimness there is a soft voice in the wind tickling the leaves caressing through the chimes softly ringing the summer fading bored in her stay She reposes draped across the milky way soveriegn of the evening glittering in her lace and im alone walking to the store beneath the careful pools of light from pole to next pool and i wonder what it is I really am
from orgami :
tide of darkness drawing in the siphon spirit like the drugs like the alcohol feed it heaps and its never enough there is no bottom no dead end to that road time to quit it all and fortify the mind the body the soul with spirit stuff I laughed at this thought long ago and when I was empty when I howled in the barrens of that time I did not look for help did not reach out did not relent from my own self never tried the greatest strength until now
from orgami :
going to rain the rain song tonight love this fall coming love the storms the rains the cold nights and misted mornings away from the humid heat that clings settled like hot breath the beast of summer prowling
from orgami :
weather/season change dreaming dreamind dream mind dreaming need to sleep more
from orgami :
pumped up pillow perceptions like gallow timber perspections shoot the chute the channel lock persuader and the all night campaigner there are dirt nail rapunzels waiting on the iron ledges there are hungry horse sweat riders climbing braids of rust and a moon just broken rising hull wrecked from the beach bank of clouds
from orgami :
traipse corridor lust the cold dell where dark dwells and yellow lamps spill like like dust urns weeping virginal rainstorms rabid for winters sweet softness the face of the bay stiffened with fresh ice No light flashing from the waves that culminate
from orgami :
Past Midnight wandering the ruins the wrecks the triumphant survivors watching on the wall and clouds sail free like tropic notions and diamond teeth gleam the nights smile casual
from lobo21 :
hello. Hope you won't mind I wandered here by way of stardumb. I like your writing and I smiled when I remember making coffee this way as my machine had broke down as well. yes, sounds like I'd enjoy a Sunday like yours very much. Take care
from orgami :
I ache when I wake bend to put on the jeans the shoulder when I put on a shirt My legs when I'm moving on the mountian bike coming up the street grades the big hills So what cry you a river I put my head down and make myself get up the hill I drag on my jeans one leg at a time somedays the change jingling the wallet chain rattling its tiny teeth the shirt is not pristine but like me wears its stains its colours fading like a cloud that has seen the day through Im old now and memories are wound around my bones they will hold me together when my mind goes even more They will wake me in the night gnawing on old truths and battered lies they will be my sheild they can carry me on when this day is through dump me down the ravine and until then Im propped up here writing on this glowing flat screen listening to the hum of the fans the clicking of the hard drive and the night out beyond the windows and the air conditioning rumbling in the kitchen and all is well
from stardumb :
i am not mad but stomp on me anyway i am liberated instead i am stoned out of my head i can feel the motion in words like tears that break a soul like leaves cracking cement will i wake and find my bed was made while i sleeping studying death please kill me i could haunt your gunpowder fingers forever
from orgami :
out walking in the lake the beach is quieter now and yet there gathered are the few the last of the summer fading in this heat the lake is cold and refreshing I remember the river and when I would arrive home in the Yellow two door car with the butterscotch interior the white roof of vinyl the white rims "Wild Child" taped on the rear deck with a pair of Dice "Snake Eyes" painted on cowboy boots and an old leather aviator jacket the river was quiet and dark and had a current there were dark balsams and small trees and I could hear the cow bells in the feilds beyond the trees it was always night when I would leave the house walk down the deck and down the long embankment to the rivers edge slip out of my work clothes and dive in the river greeting me the blackness enveloping me I was so free and stupid then the house to myself while my mom and step father was away I remember all this now the river was special and still is The house has been torn down I could walk right down there today and swim at dusk nothing will have changed much Im still me and the river is still waiting
from orgami :
the smell of her shirts when she and I would greet always comfortable in the cotton plaids and blue jeans She had the bluest eyes I had seen then (but not yet) the long hours just staring at one another and tracing fingertips down arms while moths gathered around the bulb on the porch leaning against the truck when I would bring her home her long flash of blonde hair before she went in I would shift up through the few gears with all the windows open and throw in some music I had taped from the radio on the eight track the stars seemed always to be out then
from orgami :
movemement sitting but always aware the clock the sun on the building traffic changes there are always places to be waiting recieving interventions of look and moments to catch a few nods before climbing up putting on the boots and hitting the trail
from orgami :
there are puddles from the rain they throw light up from the grey in puzzle peices in running sequence as I roll on the bike from streetlight to streetlight rain gathered in shallow pockets and the city forests green and thick there is so much yet in streetwork and everyone waiting at the edge gathered like the fall fairs coming the stiff frost mornings and eaves dripping from melting skins of ice from rooves my window open I listen to the night my dreams float free and travel when they're done with me and so it goes
from orgami :
recall filling the lanterns the delicate mantle the smell of fuel greasy on the fingers and the sharp sulphur rush of the wooden match then the bright light growing the glass chimney lowered the small wheel lever turned and the round wick fed up through the metal throat Magic in the small house set far from the roadway the feild under the old bell line the power lines atop the maples sturdy and large outside the doorway to the left of the overhanging porch the few steps down to the level ground My table I built from scrap finish lumber painted green with an oil cloth on it an old chrome fifties table chair the two large windows looking out to the evening dark and the thin band of dusk through the trees far across the old highway the swamp meadows beyond and the far railroad tracks the smell of the fuel burning and the heat from the opening Moths banging against the metal screen of the homemade screen door I made the painted floors of the small house shinning and clean the curtians we made the wallpaper we hung the couch we salvaged and the matress on the one bedroom we used I can still see the light and hear the train in the evening quiet the crickets in the feild the wind in the hardwoods and the small chimes hung up on the overhang
from permeation :
and i like that you list m. atwood & neko case amongst your favorites. poetry is all i really know. so, thank you for seeing it in my photographs.
from orgami :
Keep putting my sunglasses on my head they keep falling back Im leaning so low in this chair my back is wretched this cold weather coming Oh fall and then winter here Hurray and hurry I want those cold October Moons to fill my dreams restless like a pack of trouble I want a cup of coffee but there s not a soul to make it a sleeping mate on the couch and a young one out with mates Im so tired and aching I dont want to move just my fingers typing like mad and the computer fans humming I can hear the television I remember the fat August sun on my face and feel the burn of it from two days ago Im happy I am
from orgami :
come to me and settle against my space gaurd your smile knowing that i work inevitably for the greater calamity behind the sometimes calm the sometimes vapid transparency of my resistance I stir my sugar with the wooden stick and look to the tower for the ravens I await the new momentum knowing it may never achieve curiculum of concept I write you daily and spend the next twenty four hours waiting there is so much we understand Opera writing Poetry people Love of costume and kitch and like life all this is an illusion there is so much conscript in the sales of seduction and just when you think someone is eating out of your hand the game of engagement changes its nothing personal its just business
from orgami :
there is horror dripping from the well light room collusions in collider wealth stippled from icy winded window nights the shattered streetlight illumination stretching bright behind the blind the thin branch scratching the house and summer fades and night grows like a spill the overturned promise leaking a beautiful puddle of wonderment full of ripples in the wind careful where you step its full of wishes waiting
from orgami :
between the parellels the darkness walks and night fills with the eyes of stars glistening like fresh dew on old stains
from orgami :
PANACHE feel the litter of collapsed draws like trading floor scraps collage of fast starts and slow endings stare instead while stirring a coffee starless afternoon bright and beautiful and dissatisfaction climbing like ivy have nothing and recieve little for all that its worth and costs I was wealthier collecting beer bottles and getting tanned sitting by the wild ponds and the deep tannic lakes while traffic thundered felt the coarse flesh of the rock cuts the great reward the coffee shop then Now is passe so soon we forget how hard it was How easy some of us make it look I am nobodies and yet everyones all the plausible transperancy the implausible deciphering all the decaupauge of transaction what is myth what is fiction
from orgami :
clots of cloud milk dirty in their prayers the streetlight limps and puddles full of fallen tears shiver I am tossed lost and walking there are nights cool with moon where I can read my thoughts with ease and nights like these where dreams will comfort and take me I will remember passages since hidden I will feel the cornice smile on my shelter the breath of warmth in static close miles of history travelling like a fallen stone down a black well
from orgami :
Thank You Stardumb been here since 2004 and just coming back via a freinds advice (Thanks T) just started to read other peoples blogs to try a different writing style and or poet style Was obsessing too much over on Neopoet and being this is where I started ever to write in a public forum and I always came back to post Such is my loyalty but again urged strongly to use this and give the other a rest good advice and has led to much creative outlet for me I am glad to find you as a freind here Steven~
from stardumb :
you dont have to pay any money to put photos up.. just host them on photobucket.com but in the html image link and you'll be set! that's why i do.. i'm not a gold member either and sometimes i envy those who can have a banner up, but you can still do many things on your blog.. photos an colorful things alike! :)
from orgami :
memories behind glass shinning in the light their tight twist encapsulations to be taken with a light meal when the evening is setting comfortable and hot when ciccada sing and black onyx squirrels bob along the thick cable line beyond the apartment window and like tea thats perfect when steeped and not hurried Memories are fresh and to be examined like fresh flowers not pressed flowers to be turned and admired in perfection and flaw unlike flat one dimension ideals such pretty ideals also so jars of memories and book laden ideals and one day I wake up and Im old with broken bones and scars and a heart whipped by loves Love and I wonder where have all the flowers gone and why am I living on memories alone where is todays NOW
from orgami :
You are everywhere in all the corners and where the sun sleeps in noon naps your outlines live traces etched on walls on damp imprints and poetry of sustenance
from orgami :
woke up after turning off the little plastic cool IKEA crash clock from 2001 vintage lcd screen green led light and recordable clip to wake up It doesnt work too well anymore but I had PINKS beginning to Please dont leave me Its famous People love it "Dah dah da da da dah Dah" "Lah lah lah lah La" dressed in tie and black pants Ripped pants on bike driving down steps with bag of Bible material for Hall teachings bag fell on ground books everywhere what a laugh common happening made it all the way across town seven kilometers and said hi to a lot of nice people teachings and gathering was good smiles chats hand shakes etc then got a ride back with Tim he has a late model nineties FORD in great shape had a good talk and dropped me off at front door Interesting tall man looks like the fellow in THE MATRIX that chases Neo a bit and then we went shopping for a tall Giraffee that Bunni likes it was on sale for years about six feet tall Well he sold she was cursing away ha ha shes cute but we bought a nother one just like the one we have about half Bunnis height of two and three qaurters feet tall so now we have a daddy giraffe and a mommy giraffe and a baby all carved from africa out of softwood but no tall six foot giraffe I knew we should have just bought the damned thing awhile ago live and learn just here lounging Ataya and grandma are at the mall doing girly girly shopping Bunni and her dad are watching telly its busy out there Long weeekend civic weekend here Monday everything closed including LIbrary NO NEO boo hoo no Leanne letter writing cant get my fix yet and so it goes laundry to do just have to gather it up walk down the four flights of stairs two landings and put it in the new machine just have to get up from here but Im so lazy........... but I need clean clothes I smell like a horse
from flowermouth :
Well, thank you. I'd not really read the diary you mentioned until I read your note. However you got to my diary, thanks for the compliment.
from stardumb :
that was great, you're such a kick! :)
from orgami :
SOMETIMES its just walking down the street and the windows throwing back reflections are like a transperancy of your life Im caught ungaurded walking moving Who the fuck is that (God do I really look like this) and beyond the windows eyes adjusting lift the sunglasses keep moving through..I see through the window the set the mannequins the shill of the sell and i shiver at the whole lurid moment of it dripping and chilled like wind blown rain off a flat rooftop I want to look back want to walk by the window again with a practised gait adjust my face but its too late I've seen who I am and it looked back and I could see through it all '''
from orgami :
WAKE to the alarm beeping sunlight through the mint green bedsheet tacked to the window jarred from fresh dreams turned over like a fallow feild throw on my old clothes pick out my LAS VEGAS NEVADA t shirt for work Drink a cold coffee from the carafe ALl this bycycling is killing me at this ancient near fifty age I could do this all day even fifteen years ago but now its work hah and yet there are young and old all over this city on bikes Im envious of how they ride past me in greater gears without panting for oxygen up the hills I just stubbornly force myself up the hills gritting my teeth as my legs scream Build them up Its the only way Like vocabulary work it baby gotta go to half a day of fun crafting plaster sanding working the magic listening to CBC radio intelligencia for the masses and come home and listen to DAVE BRUBEKS 1958 album TIME OUT
from orgami :
BROKEN fragments like coffee cups and dark ringed cafe table top Diarys full of poems and dates scrawled in fine leaning script Sunlight too bright without sunglasses and dinners with polite waitress and plastic wrapped mints darkness with a feild of stars the view to tommorrow and exposing ideals in the NOW
from orgami :
WHEN i woke up sleeping on top in the sunlight on the bed of the covers there was snow on the stain of autumn there was so much depression and bright hope in the fresh paint of the ward birth pain from sedation dreams the paper folded cup and television room captive eyes I was born a butterfly peirced with the chrome thorn I was a treasure collector with a rain stained soul I was haunted like a drowned terminal in a typhoon afternoon and you were there sitting free on the bed with a coffee like a ghost come to set me free those eyes like mermaid scales bright as blades
from orgami :
LIP gloss drapery FOOTprint scenery palm pressed entourage the missing tournament shiny as a paperclip slik as a hairclip smooth like shaved emotion like damp road patterns lake water poetry sitting in moonlight
from orgami :
GATHER your hair you stir with long fingers light has fallen for your eyes and dances I empty the dust from the longing horse stretched and thin as a hearse You are copulating words with each blink and I think you can write like the pleasure writers warm my cold hands with the heat of meaning Sparks are racing in veins of extinguished glee and a bird calls happy from the minute you asked me if I was paying attention was that ten past now?
from stardumb :
wonderful!
from orgami :
ALBINO MIDNIGHT draped still as a sheet your pink pearl vision staring at the moon washed in clouds thin as drowned reeds your mouth is empty of ache your bones drenched in sweet airs swirling through the windows the curtians sail billowing in the throng of motion and shadows fill the corner of your petulant stare
from orgami :
OUTLINE your digress Your heart and feild of hope is soot and Im grey from all your touchs taste the ash on my lips where you have dreaded lingered and the wind blew the jagged wishs like confetti from your dress we are ruins wandering moon maze desire dancing in the champagne dust of that lost year and all I want to do is gather you like rain and feel the cool embrace on my sighs
from orgami :
THE ORDEAL sitting on the sofa we can turn it over and count the change the allbright future that bleeds from it like a dry fountian broken at its ledge the radio crackles like static and the chimes are dangling mood notes You turn a page and it sounds like the cloud ripping in two I can feel the dust falling like grey snow the ink flakes crystalline in their eager freedom Your kisses will taste of persimmons and teeth whitener already I can feel Autumn kicking her stall her heels black as the river bottom full of sediment rust and old lost visions
from orgami :
She drinks the tea hot and tepid while the night slinks against the glass her bright red lipstick on her pert smile the white gleam of her teeth the forlorn flourescent her pale flesh silk as the bible page and the cigarette poised while she talks the brown chocolate eyes and the long thin throat she butts out here cigarettes one my one in exactly the same way She stays long enough to finish eight right down to the filter exactly the same and her laughs are alike and shes tiny like a doll perfect out of her rabbit skin jacket and black jeans On this three quarter moon night in the middle of summer I think about that November Connie was her name she is real this really happened
from orgami :
restless its like a wind like gravel thrown up around the wheel well noisy and comforting and the stars turn slow through the windsheild and the motor hums and the radio cuts through the static to feel the voices sweet and exotic
from orgami :
going through everything in the two drawers odds and ends a card Ace of spades with a hole punched through stacks of scratched CDs and dog eared books full of photo graph page markers and post cards from people I no longer know it was crazy and random all the stuff saved up dump it in one big pile and it was just useless junk for the most part put it all in a pack and head down the road twenty miles and I can tell you then whats important I always wondered why people buried their stuff why they burned it and threw it away its just dead ends piled up like driftwood sorry beginnings and mean endings talismans to haunt the hoodoos of nighttime when the moon rises fat and empty and the light isnt strong enough to read by and aint weak enough to dance in haunted are the hours between sundown and dawn when all that crap talks to me in my sleep and all I have to do is pick up the letters and I can remember it all like earlier today
from orgami :
basin touch like the mists not yet turned to drizzle comforting the eye in the sky couldnt see and neither would we no reckoning by stars just the compass and all we were basically blind and the swells were huge at lightfall a lot of the rigging was taken off with the winds we thought we were dead figured we were just going to overturn and drown the one wave just kept rising like a black dead wall luckily we rode partway up her before we did keel over and then the momentum righted us we thought we were heroes out here we thought we could handle anything we were so wrong and now the calm the stillness for three days and overcast its neither storm nor rain its like the day turning night cant decide and neither can we
from orgami :
horseradish is too bitter the corned ham shaved is salted the rye bread bun is sweet coffee in the china cup steams at the correct temperature all this is a dream Im huddled in my sleeping bag the cavern of this old room empty echos even the silence and the mice run all night and something big is moving through the brush down by the creek my candle is nearby with the dry matchs this house is too far for most to walk or crawl to close to the seawall i can hear the rats too i carry my stick I hate rat bites in the morning the sea is red and unsafe to swim at least not in the gulf not year tidal blooms since the end have risen i threw away my hand crank radio when they quit reporting non hot zones when the were still running up the death tally along the coast i kept my solar charger and small collection of tunes on the cheap i pod I know there has to be others out here who didnt pick up the viruse it wasnt luck even those in the bunkers died they just couldnt outwit the simple viruse they didnt know they were sick and all the coming and going the airlocks compromised with every query by the time they got it figured out it was too late they gave up figuring out where it started when they realized it didnt matter anymore everyone and everything just stopped running suprised at home many fires there were so many at night I used to sit and watch them from rooftops until it was just fire after fire i biked here and saw only small animals no birds though even the rats seem to be dropping off i just eat what I can find in the old supermarkets canned food and dried bars and vitamins and enough painkillers if I need them all this stuff has to be packed and now im getting paranoid if someones watching me all the empty windows all the dead cars just sitting here and there some overturned at the intersections from the crashs some from the riots I just stayed high up listening to it all on the radio on the porch keeping the lights off lighting no fires taken days to get here i miss just walking in and ordering a chocolate dipped and medium regular
from orgami :
oval of wait circling like black carrion eaters the dream is christmas white effortless in its width I could fall in here forever the wind touching my cheek the flakes landing like soft regrets on my lashs my shoes are damp and Im shivering how many times do I still have that cigarette in my left hand and Ive quit smoking for years there you are that long jacket you were so thin the smokey mascara eyes green and expansive the Clinique slowly seeping in to my thoughts this old ache when I always see you the lake is always flat with two inches of snow silence muffled in this atmosphere just out from shore the cottage dead and sleeping mute from summer cold and arid like thoughts in shock its like confetti coming down for a party we weren't invited too You are so bright young and hopeful I want to wake up but I always take a cigarette and say the same thing in a quiet drawl "when are you coming back"
from moodswing :
"just remember when no one listens to you you won't be alone" ***
from orgami :
no campfire to sit about no marshmallows no sparks to dance with the fire of mars the tide of stars just inside the air conditioner humming we are space oddities linking at the altitude listening to the breezes emoting in the darkness of the mind where the black waves reach
from moodswing :
I believe too. at least I think I do. most of the time. depends on the minute.
from orgami :
listening to ROADS by Portishead sinking into somewhere who needs radar anyway burning up the burn no need to dump fuel just circle forever keep awake dont dream dont sleep that way tommorrow never really arrives and when it does Ill look ten years older but be so young inside im messed up feeling writing poetry nothing unusual at all its beautiful out there in the stillness of night in my nowhere land with my nowhere self
from orgami :
waking in the cool air conditioner eats cash but so so nice it doesnt just cool the air it conditions it It reminds me of the Hotels Motels Ive travelled each room a place to explore the style wood appliance its history of transient existance all the little treasures Bar of soap etc and coffee complimentary crushed dried instant or sometimes the real coffee drip machine if lucky Continental breakfest and a muffin and then the love I loved the tubs some of the largest post word war two 1950's sixties tubs for big peoples Pink or Turqouise white with sculpted chrome handles and the smell of waters in different cities country places used hand cleaner at a meeting (12 step) and its the same stuff they use in the Pysch hospital I have been in and out of just North of the City a few miles (city bus route) flashback big time now I go to that meeting to just use the dispenser connection of history strung like images and smells words in notebooks in codes and lingo of poetry sitting here from dreamland vivid taking time to wake up remember settings and dialogue I have dark roast coffee I bought its a treat a luxury im savouring the moment to go and make it and powdered whitener like I had when I ate from food banks and made instant from a pan on a stove or fire (camp stove) no room just a tent but the mornings of different the sunrises I have seen the rainstorms I have battled and for that coffee in the tin cup or smash proof plastic rain dripping down cooling it off faster having it hot in my belly while I shiver in the poncho the dampness in the sleeping bag knowing that sooner or later the sun would come out again the flowers are planted here we have a new garden hose the trees are full of leaf ves and its beautiful on our street the hill we live on the rising back yard small and yet large deck barbeque we are not in shared as in goverment but private nice connection s sunshine and peace old house loved I have been recauling the old with new like I did when I owned properties long ago with broker then girlfreind one day I will see my child Eighteen year old Chloe as I have been on and off she was up not long ago her little car her job at a chain food store supplying her with cash for her freinds and trips for rock bands live in the big city south sixty miles away only from here work was insane plaster of mastery and CBC radio what a joy and free coffee from the beautiful lunchroom in the basement we are blessed and great bosses and teammates and here everyone lounging on a Saturday and Im dying for coffee for that dark roast I bought the whitener making the coffee soo smooth but its bad for the system my back killing me and shoulder since the clavicle got busted and im slowly taking the letters from the dating site the sensitive ones really interest me there are other poetic thinking people out there now that Im slowing down slowing my mind take a breath breathe in and slowly let it go heartbeat falling like a slinky oops there it missed a step hah Now I need coffee!! must go in a great mood thanks peoples
from floorplan :
thank you dear... i'm still here
from orgami :
the wolves are bigger and bolder no longer the ban no longer hunting or trapping intelligent to stay away from us and near enough
from moodswing :
"I ache therefore I have existed! ah nirvana at last" :D :D :D <3
from orgami :
hot sunshine pepper bright thick culminate like warmth
from orgami :
blade of moon full and gone falling like the level of sand creeping further out from shore
from orgami :
at the door just the matter of leaving now it will soon
from orgami :
well just wanted to say thank you Moodswing and Floorplan for being freinds here guess thats it for the moment
from orgami :
I remember Superior Shore somewhere north of Sault and below Thunder Bay the round stones the dark trees and the foredboding hills rounded mountians of granite gleaming with the dusk beneath the lake horizon the wind blowing waves against everything I was out west on the Pacific Coast and the east coast and the caribean sea Moose River swimming in the tidal flow yet it is Superior that calls to me I will never see it again yet I have seen it stood in its cold embrace and felt the singing of the wind it is good enough for this life this simple want
from orgami :
the winds of summer fleeing slow making wind chimes out of old tin cans and fishing line hanging them up so at night we could hear them from the windows it was so quiet out there away from the highway and railroad just the wind blowing through the evergreens and touching the windchimes the sun eventually just rotted the line and the sharp edges cut through the knots the cans rusted but they sounded so beautiful the trees and the chimes
from orgami :
another morn still wrapped in her dark the braid of grey lingering in the harum of dense pause the peaceful limbs wet with winters breath and empty of sound
from orgami :
time will remove me the natural evolution I have been here awhile writing as I have and when I have in my leaving cease to post the words will remain in the electronic long past like an echo perhaps like the printed words of the poets i had read in my ponderings I like this quiet place I will miss it dearly
from orgami :
I will try to write again here more often balancing my time I greatly so love reading the wonderful intricate and exotic beauty of words that are here and Thank You Moodswing!
from moodswing :
you are the sweetest thing. diaryland misses you. i appreciate diaryland for its faraway-ness, in this tucked away corner of the internet world almost no one knows about
from orgami :
lake is walked near it in winter the other day at night the roadway busy far off the beacon lights still flash though ice reigns now around its cuff still mysterious and dark with its ruffled ice jumbled and tossed i never tire of looking to the islands distant the mirage that plays underneath them with the light illusions and more better then television anyday front window I can see it in the day through the limbs from the birch on this second story still awesome must sleep and maybe dream vivid cool dreams now Or nightmares which are too cool im so tired but deliourus Emarie you would know I miss you E but you know that i hope
from moodswing :
*like*
from moodswing :
i didn't get to go swimming this year either
from orgami :
rampant air coursing through the trail of summer long gone and leaving push the sky of stars ahead of her fathoms the charted depths reeling from high like sequins charming sailors eyes and this wind brushing mermaids hair as they prepare their song to murmur lustful love to the tillerman and love will be broken on the rocks of murder and the hold will be filled with sweet dark depths and sails caressed by currents deep
from orgami :
the terrible wound of moon grazing her sky and skimpy clouds gauze intentions but honest you can see her all through it and the modest stars are blushing firing red and the planets are steady in their firm order
from orgami :
"garland of shame.." siouxsie sioux LAST BEAT OF MY HEART lyric line raining mists tonight like dreams the forest sheds her moisture glittering like frost on bitter nights now that the sun sleeps and moon is draped behind the thick veil of weather no stars to huddle in wonder just the tawdry orange of the sodium lamps like old dandylions growing on grey pavement cracks i miss all of you terribly
from floorplan :
slow but sure. that's the only thing i've ever really been sure that's true in this life. i've missed you. and i hate that i don't write my old letters any more.
from moodswing :
ohhhh orgami you are always around and here i thought you were here much longer than 2005 but i guess that is not the case, huh? good to see you are still floating around :D
from floorplan :
dreamland..
from orgami :
nights new clothes adorn the tired shelter of the starlight fashions the pomp of sweet ice and thick bound snow whisper in the crisp wind I hear the ravens and their mates and soon water will open her voice to the joyous warmth of spring but thats a bit off yet still more winter to climb
from orgami :
what? oh tired push the body weary the soul slow down everything counter the rush the irratability slow down break fewer things in a panic take time to speak inwardly so hard still yet this is living!!! the meds yes the meds thank god I live in this millenium decent electric shock I recieved not the brain blowing watts of the fifties too tired to write must go and dream more settled now the Maze will be there always I am not yet prepared
from orgami :
what didnt I do???? cross into so many lives and out again crash sequence synapse flashing nerve endings rush addicted to that flash like lightening Lightening a memory!! My mother and I together on our knees at the window looking out the front window over the back of the couch Counting seconds from each lightening flash SHaring the excitement the storm brought My father lighting his coal oil lamp from a signal lamp from the Junction flickering warmly in the kitchen where he sat Thunder slapping the house no gaurd up then she was herself immersed in the wonder of nature in awe of a greatness beyond each other I have forgotten this moment for over thirty years just pulling it back now My god!!!!! there was Love an intimacy shown at times it was not the dark bitter fights the ridicule from her then school competing with an only freind the tearing down the building up parents divorce a crushing realm suicide attempt a car destroyed completely but survived and didnt kill anyone drug overdoses starving in a psych ward down to one sixty the elation the high of that beyond description floating delving into nothingness brought back by chance encounter always chance is there a God? wish I knew what his purpose for me so messed up still still dream of my fathers house he loved me but he was distant for his reasons finding support realness in relationships which failed dramatically flamed out never restarted eject blackness hating seated in me sunspot not the whole of sun not an eclipse not an Eclipse
from floorplan :
no, you didn't
from orgami :
sunshine and crisp coldness shuffle to the store for more see the ravencouple on a branch on high feel the wind accomplish much in the apartment made some delicious tea wrote all my freinds painted my daughter a painting for Christmas gift Just a small one to match some other originals she will Love it listening to JOY DIVISION with Ian Curtis from Manchester and his band right now its "Love Will Tear Us Apart" the greatest song from the eighties its about his break up from his wife and his girlfreind too he was so talented and he took his life such a tradgedy this song is his best I think I keep listening to it over and over and over lately it just falls into me like Im hollow and unfulfilled my soul emptying "and love...love will tear it apart..again!" going to fly my YS-2000 (3) game free with sidewinder joystick microsoft take the Lancaster up or the Herc or maybe the Spitfire or the P-51 gotta work tommorrow feel strange but thats normal
from orgami :
Hello hello hell oh sleep sleep and dream a city house party talkers a ragged easy chair and wooden cable spool for a table a curtian for a bedroom door the morning so chilling the sunshine bright and chilling making dark shadows wild birds talking sweet talk so crisply all a dream somehow did not dream of them a first want to open up my head want to close my eyes let the dreams be dead my beautiful muses come and gone they see past the pain resolution from high school on hah now old feel it the years in body mostly in soul here is the cat come to play with headphones still on my head my music stopped silence loud i listen to it all drumming like the rain pushing my mind to a discipline of sorts a place reminding me of the bar where strange business partners conduct their business the safety the secret of whispers save the talent of the lip readers the whisper 2000's readers of body language like the Dog Whisperer Ceasar hes so talented Im so tired my sick ailing father in law so depressed crying to his daughter on the phone didnt even know who it was he stumbled forgot Loris name for a moment shocked me she comforted him with her words some people are magic like this Intuition some trained firemen paramedics policeman nurses doctors clinicians street angels saving souls with fingertip control birds arc like racing stones skipping across the sun sinking into the brightness like quick rapid dreams
from orgami :
no they all urge the good within me the one not eaten up by the horrendous destruction of sin satans hand i float nuetral bouyancy i need a coffee from Twiggs downtown I sit alone no freinds no chat or banter i hate it and I love it watching people traffic the microwave tower the birds the sun rising on the tall buildings the murmur of the crowd the clank of dishs coffee cups the hiss of the expresso machine the roasting coffee from the roaster i just get tired sometimes hanging onto everything trying to keep in touch with everyone that once mattered drowning myself with Joy Divisions music Siouxsie and the Banshees feeling the souls cold draft of all that I have done wrong drink my coffee sit alone no amber eyes no hand to hold just the dreamtime once of what was long long ago in another era but Christmas is here lucky Christmas we have our treats our gifts our turkey Loris daughter her half brother last night on a gift card from my bosses I took them to see "Four Christmases" a comedy it was very funny and we all had a great time I met a bus driver I like a businessman who once or maybe still has his own business a boss i am alive people are backing me i am burning from the inside out i cannot leave not yet i need to see my daughter again the artist poet
from floorplan :
you can't just leave
from orgami :
tender is the touch of sun on winters blossom flesh bright haloed light seeks ponds of ice and proud lake wavelets not yet sealed the mists come minus thirty nights and dreams aloft in windy dark the thin few hours of ancient grounds and growling sins lay waste the purity of understand the trees are gathering sunsets glory each bead each drip a fortelling story and now its time to walk the street to supermarkets great wide space the traffic with their super race invisible mask the beautiful face
from floorplan :
you remind me of the english language i used to be so fond of..the language that used to be my friend, i thought was lost.
from orgami :
I am I am hurtling speeding through mortal darkness conscripting pharmacueticals to elevate this sleep disease i race through years of afterglow the rinse of rage the undertow come dreams to slay I do not know what ripe colours from broken rainbows feed portal eyes and spirits caught in hot excursions
from floorplan :
oh dear, where or where have you been
from orgami :
and then you appear Yes you are the last on Diaryland your writing is so poetic your struggle dynamic your suffering genuine I admire you and your writings "darling dear" yes I have my darling and then the "others" the voracious termoil within and sometimes without the right brain wreaking havoc the primal brain ruling the agony the pain of addiction and my poems I have come back to Diaryland Diaryland was where I started four years of silence one thousand pages here same over there and the rest Mid west I was through there years ago Lethrbridge Banff Mount Rainer Pacific Ocean Shore Olympic Penninsula Idaho American West Kentucy Back to canada Ontario 1987 beautiful clear as day in my head still the poem Circe at the very first entry was from looking at the moon rise through a cleft in the mountians in the afternoon near banffs Lake Liouse I am glad you are finding some peace I think of a swing when I read your username sometimes a porch glider the wooden kinds with cushions and the big verandahs sometimes a tire from an old branch sometimes an inner city schoolyard gotta go to the store and get some treats My Lori and I are going to watch "Strangers" a scary movie We like horror flicks Rob Zombie etc gotta go
from moodswing :
its funny, just yesterday i was reading old notes you'd left me long ago and then! here you are today. i keep thinking about leaving diaryland for something else but i don't ever feel that comfortable with anything else, so i think about staying here but changing my name (last night i had a dream i was suddenly to become president and i knew i would have to delete moodswing so no one could ever find it, because soon they'd be wondering who i was) but i can't think of another word that fits, i've been using moodswing so long, you know. all my loves remain in my heart, some in the forefront others peripheral, today i live in the frigid north midwest someday i expect to move further west, or, at least see what i have not, my darling dear and i are very happy and sometimes i wonder about the life i've given up but most of the time i remember what it was like to be without anyone and it's never quite romantic as i would have it seem <3
from orgami :
dear Floorplan its winter finally it flung itself at the world today from its northern home it yowled through the high wires pulsing with energy with every gust the slush and snowplow salt trucks tossing salt like romans laying seige to conquered feilds crops of ice await more frigid winds it was so damned good to feel it on the walk to work No bike walking is so totally different then the bike people say Hello and stuff when walking more personal work was good busy fast organized we had all of us a good day today some days things do not go at all but we still have our coffee our radio stations our windows to look out at the rains and snow the darkness the grey monochrome slipping in to home plate for another year must go now take care
from floorplan :
orgami i have forgotten how to make things tangible physical, to manifest then to become what can be touched and even cradled out of words that tangle in the cobwebs that are my brain waves. but they scatter like sand thrown to the wolves of the wind and what human hand could catch those? it's called a paralyzer this liquid that's coming from the glass in my fist then casing my stomach. it's always something. my head soaks up the pills like the beach when the tide comes in but there are still many shells which make it impossible for it all to be hushed. so emotion it comes when the shells break loose when the sun rises and the tide gets back again. when i drink it's as if the pills lose all their grip and i start to spiral. i am getting better. most the time i can help it. but i am imperfect. i am just so goddamn sick of whining about what's lost orgami so i'm keeping quiet here for a while. when there's nothing left to analyze and pry, pick apart, that's when sleep will catch me. but the sun comes up. it was telling you how much i love your writing still why i even got to writing this note here. you have a gift you know. and i am ever so grateful to be one you're sharing it with.
from orgami :
Floorplan yes what is faith what is the common the integer the hue
from floorplan :
the other planets are a good place to lie between just dreaming of dreaming orgami. i'm weaving in and out of faith in what, i'm not yet sure. i haven't found what i'm looking for..
from orgami :
sheaves of memory stored with no lid no sides a well once full now dry i have cried my hundred tears and found a thousand more if i could become then i shant be anymore
from floorplan :
my eyes are purple and heavy like this here template and creativity is sparce, but i'm still following
from orgami :
Holiday Enclave is my favourite poem of mine of late Thank you all who believe in me when not a many did Including myself Im still wayward but alive lost in the canyon bones of time enraptured by the shadows of flight
from minstrelite :
Thank you so much for your note. I especially liked this part: "the clarity of the mind during those times was amazing no wonder people fast to have visions or search their souls" -- I need to be reminded of that today.
from floorplan :
days like today i sit in awe of your aura, of genius, and i appreciate it you know
from floorplan :
rain light lands on the hot street just before the night spreading like grey dust on old snow like hot ash my dreams are close i can see the emotions i can feel the words escaping from the atmosphere of every sentence i want no dreams no images to draw up the fashion of all lost passion to walk through the body-less streets where just the wind lives my eyes fade with every week month like ice growing on the edge of opulent lakes like polished blades circular and barren turning round through old growth i want the moon see her bright occurence fill my sleep with platinum illumination, Orgami, i have sat here inside from my own moon on this far side of the country where it is damp now in june but my head filters and stretches to accomadate the memory of frozen lands where my mind, wandered, as yours does here, so perfectly though this, i keep repeating these words you've written on this sunday as you mentioned it and all i can think if we were only all to find such beauty and have the ability to paint it so selflessly with words- but what value would this then now have? i'm keeping this here piece of your diary close to my heart.
from cocoabean :
I'm still reading!
from catsoul :
Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I read your enteries regularly. I enjoy the flow of your poems of your life. Take care. =^..^=
from theways :
"and the city wears new clothes" ---- i like that.
from floorplan :
have you ever feared dear finally your mind has slipped down and shattered the particles caught beneath the floor boards though your eyes are steady and able in their right place adjacent to the ceiling all you can see from is your feeling and so, there you are, looking through the creaks of light from below trying to sort them but there is no use because nothing is in its right place anymore... and wasn't it there you wondered when ever really was it things were really together?.............the only thought that serves to cool me here is the knowledge that we have all..even if it a self conscious thought orgami.
from chaosdaily :
glad things are going well! I"m going to look at North Bay now.....
from orgami :
thank you Floorplan thank you Chaos you two who have ridden this far with my words and I reading yours i see im on page four of google search Orgamis diary page four and it shunts one to here to Diaryland and mentions Neopoet i suppose there are a few who may read me in Myspace every day there is a quiet invisible readership also and Neopoet of course such a grand democracy im doing okay lately i come back here to the original origin to read the first few tentative poems i tried out in 2004 five years have come and gone its been such a long road sometimes its impossible to beleieve almost like an awl of a falling star drawing a silver tear on the nights wonder my mind lingers long there the glow still burning O
from floorplan :
beautiful
from floorplan :
mordorr will be locked..i've moved.. come along, replace it with floorplan<3
from chaosdaily :
sorry to hear about your bike. and i'm glad you didnt get fired.. hang in there!
from mordorr :
it is so very common for people to grow without their blood father or even blood mother's presence so it is both too far, shameful for you to take it upon yourself any hardship with men your daughter may face, it isn't, these things can have influence but ulitimately we all end up the same no matter who or what we have to use as a blame cushion to lean on. perhaps my mother is the one who's fucked me up. she cheated on my father when i was young and i didn't know it but i have so many vivid memories even at four years old dad picking me up taking me to the car buckling me up mom smashing on the car window then jumping on the car dad crying opening his door stepping out only to try and pull her off mom called the cops and the night ended with dad in jail accused of abuse and i in the arms of the cops dragged over to the neighbours.. these memories, they exist, but they don't haunt me anymore, no matter their possible subconscious significance. of course your comments did not anger me. maybe you're right. maybe he took up with me someone he longed for then finally when he caught me realized i was just there my face like a canvas when we kissed and knew i could never love him so he managed to gather his own self esteem like i could never. i still long for him and will never decide if it is just strictly his absence, but things really were changing as was i. maybe he just wanted to hurt me get out while he could strike someone him so used to being the one, struck. he always comes back to me but i think i've really lost him this time. last time i saw him went for dinner in the city now hasn't said a word to me in two fucking weeks. ahh but i'm getting better as the years go by i'm learning to love myself first..takes so very long you know. good to have you there.
from orgami :
shut up man im positive now ignore my wailings when tired off meds too rather bleak slow motion now back on track breathe in breathe ouotte fine finesse
from orgami :
two seventeen am when i should be sleeping and im not im here awake but slow and mellow not from the jerky grass or weed that many others need but from the pills of generic 222's i started my dance with these beauties when my back was killing me as always now and have moved on to a larger dose to accompany the new landcapes my minds eye moves to now something familiar but always so distorted that it becomes novel such destruction though for what cause what end purpose my heart burns physically but its cool it hurts so i feel i get numb but then it burns and i feel can you dig it can you? because i dont i dont know anything anymore and i dont want too
from mordorr :
i miss your words you know in a way as the smoke spirals dancing from the ashtray of the monitor.. you are something of sorts that gives me strength. and i hope, only, in this very moment, you're finding light in your side of the world. that there's something in this very moment in time putting a smile on your face..even if in sleep. that means something to me, if it even possible. and i miss you.
from mordorr :
thanks for sharing that here with us.
from jackkellyo :
lol I get kicked out about two times a month, I don't think its anything new really....Its a bit annoying. as for the ADD I don't quite remeber what it stands for,rofl. I don't keep up with things anymore it takes too much time. Everything seems to be coming and going at the same time,which royally sucks.anyways got to run, there are other things i should be doing that im not,lol
from mordorr :
you were missed here, too
from chaosdaily :
congratulations!
from mordorr :
everyone on my buddy list is pretty well dorment, but it's okay, they come back ever so often. it's healthy to let your mind run across the monitor and have good people send you good thoughts along the way.
from chaosdaily :
im glad things are working so well for you! and thanks for YOUR comments, too!
from mordorr :
ps- do you have messenger or something?
from mordorr :
have been feeling a form of empty as of lately but i'm still here..know you're there too leading a life of courage. know if your head is well so's everything.
from jackkellyo :
LOL! did anyone ever say you were a.d.d.?? not that the note didn't make me laugh,it was Great.lol I haven't been on here in forever.its insane.I think I get most of my exercise chasing a bunch of diaper wearing brats all day in daycare. They run me ragid. No wonder their mothers prefer day care! life seems to be in a crazy pathless motion these days I swear. lol.
from mordorr :
and one of the best days of my life was when i saw trent reznor in vancouver. tears streamed i kid you not.
from mordorr :
my father is more a man than i've seen, and so blessed i am to have him in my life, and to be able to call him what i came from, what i was created from. he and my mother are still together, thirty years, he has stuck through every wind you could imagine and every sign that said to leave he looked past. but you know, this isn't to say any less of you. if you're asking of some advice in a way- or more i think what i would say a girl around my age needs from a father figure i can tell you gladly. you need to be strong, but bend when it won't do any harm. you need to tell them that they are beautiful when they look their worst. and most importantly, to encourage them to follow their dreams however ridiculous they may seem (though offer some guidance of course.) and make a point to proving you're enjoying their company. i couldn't ever have one complaint about my father. the only thing i could tell you is what he hasn't done. and that's show himself truly to me, be my friend not only my father. but telling you about him would take a lifetime. be honest, yourself, compassionate, encouraging, no possible way to go wrong. and thank you for your encouragement on my end even so far, other side of this big, frozen country. means more than you know.
from mordorr :
i am pressing on through time as it advances ahead of me i catch up, eventually, i'm still here and surely will always be for there really is no other option. i want you to know it means so very much i can feel your heart outstretched when you write me, as with others you speak of and it is truth, we will never truly know any of these people nor you, nor i, but there is a sense of relief in that isn't there? genuine compassion lacking any form of ulterior motive whatsoever. it's a wonder in itself. but you are so much of a person i could never imagine to be. the things i read of you, the things you endure each and every day and still have this solid soul. i don't know what i'll ever be but it's good to have you there to read along with and push me when i need it. i am still slamming back endless bottles of wine, vodka, but i'm alright. i'm still waiting on his phone calls but i'm alright. life goes on. in due time i will realize. it's pathetic not to realize when you already know, isn't it? but you've turned up just fine. borderline bi-polar. my mother is bi-polar. i went to the doctor and told him i felt like slitting my throat years ago, but wouldn't for i know, i could never do that to my family. he told me i was like everyone else. it isn't you're like everyone else for you have survived against all odds, have no one to thank but you yourself. xoxo
from jackkellyo :
Hey!Haven't talked to you in a very long time! so i was broswing and read your newest,techonlgy is amazing isn't it?! and its very cold here as well...going to ice today...werid..i have to run outside to answer my phone..because of tin roofing.
from mordorr :
but spring is on its way and another summer surely will follow
from mordorr :
know winter's good for a muse and an excuse to find comfort, hope you are keeping warm and happy as the cold season passes us by.
from mordorr :
your kindness impacts more than you know.
from mordorr :
so many days i've wondered the same. and i sit here on my saturday still wondering. there's this comfort in your words i seldom find and words are things that can comfort more than untruths more than arms. yours are a piece of you i find i share when i read them.
from mordorr :
the photographs like waves on the shore come winter its just the wind and the groaning of the ice rushing across the bay.'' your words reach out and touch me at times like these.
from chaosdaily :
dont you think your parents know now how you felt? you cant live with regrets.. you have come a long way, keep your chin up and keep looking forward!
from chaosdaily :
guess you just have to watch for the birds.. i see hawks and cranes, egrets and herons.. and lots more! but i live out in the country and we have lots more birds. no pigeons!!
from orgami :
its late of course pushing the envelope keeping the dreams at bay dont want to feel and dreams make me feel when the inside wanders feeds itself slakes its thirts at the jugular of need mostly just scares the fuck out of me i dont want to wake up thinking i am something im not Or possibly think of something other then what is maybe in reality thats just an illusion we live with or i live with that its not what i think what if im wrong about everything what if i should just pack those three bags i owned and keep them ready what if im not ready for something long lasting like this so strange to be awake and feel everything of the order that has become and then to sleep and be in the choatic atmosphere of what was always for then the years of been just more white hairs in my goatee to pluck with tweezers vanity insanity try to lose weight where is my body hiding no more do i have the cheekbones like Lee Van Cleif famous western actor Moon tonight is almost three quarters soon to be full bright and wonderful her light will cast shadows and dance upon the lake fill night yards with soft illumination take care of yourself Orgami dont lose it keep it tight you can do it old man just remember what you wanted when you were cold and tired and numb and alone do you remember??
from mordorr :
he treats me good. you and i are similar in the way i worry it's me, it's him who needs to be worried about. i can be ever so vacant without even a hint of it being displayed on my face. i've told him i'm unstable. but it seems whenever i'm ready to stand without hesitation he's the one who then pulls away. and it's this cycle i'm sure you know well. but as you said. i think we all realize in order to love you need to love you yourself. and change the things that are wrong. learn it's ok. but i think what i need to realize is just what you've told me. maybe not all of our situations are the same, but our feelings are. we all feel neglect uncertainty inadequacy. where it all can go terribly wrong is when we start thinking like we're alone with them. when that couldn't be further from the truth.
from chaosdaily :
the bar has about 14 stools, a pool table and a darts game.. the bar itself is a u shape, old building and quite run down... it is a DIVE, not one i would normally go in... no bands or anything good, just smoky with lots of drunks haha
from chaosdaily :
i watched a show the other day on prosthetics and brace making.. reminded me of you!
from chaosdaily :
i love the beastie boys!! and i have a velvet underground cd or two....
from chaosdaily :
the wobble could be due to some loose spokes.. they are easy to fix with the right tool....
from chaosdaily :
oh im not the only one!!
from chaosdaily :
oooo the christmas party could be fun!
from chaosdaily :
instead of yoga, i go to the chiropractor.... but yoga is good too, it will relax the sore muscles and strengthen them so they dont get sore any more!
from mordorr :
music possesses, i know, even in the most rigid of temperatures. but summer has not yet opened it's door to the cold. september is long and far. to see the falls must have been a wonder. i myself have not had the opportunity in years to watch water more powerful than I just fall simple and beautiful. but the seasons must lose their influence. you have found the unfindable; true love without motive nor haste. and you carry with you the rarest purest and most important of all the attributes. kindness.
from orgami :
Stones SATISFACTION remember the movie the young soldier skiing behind the river patrol boat on water skies Brownwater Navy they called them those boats on patrols up the delta sitting here listening to fireworks and screamer whistles going off still at twelve oclock at night percussive charges from asian made fireworks the moon a placid receptor of thought my peace of mind my gentleness sought woe betide my wilder ways my deepest channel of my river my spirit restless and a quiver dogs barking in the night city dogs village dogs country dogs sniff the air and whine in sleep jumping beasts ..O..
from orgami :
lo and beholden Orgami look beyond the emerald lawns the haunted windows of inner suburbia crests of hills and wavering ashpalt sit beneath a crooked pine and stately unwind when was the last time you've smelled clover or a lilys soft brush of scent ..O..
from chaosdaily :
i wondered what was up with the locking..
from miedema2002 :
Thanks for the note :)
from outdated :
thank you for such a unique note :)
from jabari :
i didn't understand everything--i never do--that you wrote, but thanks for sharing it. *sprouts moth wings and flys away*
from chaosdaily :
go to giveawayoftheday.com, they have a free game to download every day. ive gotten a few from them, and they are ok...
from chaosdaily :
belts are easy to replace!
from orgami :
may 7 2007 beatufiul day today worked my ass off last two days tired must go now and rub Loris feet and watch tube and veg out wiped out over and out
from orgami :
twelve oh one p.m. and here i am so much to expect so much to do heh heh eating a hamburger from the picnic out back we had it delicious too bad for those that want more of the wicked or wikken i am not i am christrian somewhat Spanish in fluence mostly freinds of a freind etc heh heh bye for now
from orgami :
ten thirty six.p.m. MAY 42007 finished off my new site on another channel/station/wavelength sad that D-land is closed down for contstruction I admired the view well its just a simple time for me now i am just looking at Trent Reznors music videos and others enjoying the weekend here ..O..
from orgami :
MAY 4 2007 two thirty seven p.m. getting ready for the barbeque preparing food chicken eggs sausages burgers corn got the garnishs done its cool and windy but the sun will keep us warm gotta go now and keep working on things ..O..
from orgami :
scratch of an empty phonograph and ice settling in a glass thunder somewhere beyond the great stepping span of bridge there is wind in the grass its waving wildly sand grains lifting and trees moaning as if life were being pressed aside by a dark mass descending down the valley a thousand hungry mouths to feed at the rusted station lightening flickered and lept from the river like a startled raven i ducked instinctually and held my breath waiting for the great crash cars sped along the tall deck carpuscules in ribbon arteries soon the rains will sweep in and find me tamp down that dust mix it into wet earth and mulch my Gin rests open in my left pocket where my diary and photo lay this old oilskin i had stolen from the docks kept me warm i stayed awake at nights to keep the mosquitoes at bay with my fires down on the beach tonight i was just off the highway walked all the way from the last phone booth to sit can still hear her voice as i cradled the phone cars and trucks drowning out her words as they past the glowing hub of the station it was the last money i had saved from the painting the few coins left mixed with an orange purchased at the store before i boarded the bus before the last call and the last of my drink waiting on the storm Remember when as a child we would run out to the front of the lawn and look down the hill to watch the lightening the grass so soft the wind singing in the maple the single bulb streetlight with its enamel green and white shade across the corner would be full of moths they would fly about it like protons our pajamas ruffling in the breeze coloured cottons from Eatons then the first drops of rains would hit our upturned faces as we searched the sky for the first stroke of lightening that would send us screaming inside I close my eyes and put my hands in the long grasses take out my bottle and take a long pull I can picture the photograph so well inside my book wrapped in a bread bag my mother at eighteen with my half brother sitting on her knee a black and white picture beside her on the wall is a hole where someone had put their fist through it she is pretty and my brother is well and healthy he is looking to the right at something and my mother is looking straight ahead at the camera the storm is closer a brilliant fork bends down five miles away and its a while before the growl of it arrives Then just as quick the rain starts to fall lightly at first but then in sweeps that blur the headlights overhead I pull the jacket around my beard protecting the water from getting into my bottle and lean into the rain i am soaked in minutes the grasses are pounded down my pants get wet i am in a river of madness thunder now rippling just across the hills rain flailing the cedars along the road i dont want protection i want to forget i want to suffer i want away from want and need i close my eyes and feel the rain tearing down my face chilling me beneath my Salvation army sweater my goodwill boots are dry still my diary is safe we've been through before i taste every cold night i walked to escape the small prisons of my rooms television left on so when i arrive home my ghosts i left behind are not sad the bottle is empty my head is warm my world diluted by ache protest cheap evaluations in clinics where i get my medications they are safe they are dry my key in my left pocket a magic talisman its two miles home when i put the key in the door make my way in slowly television glow my happy ghosts i stand in the shower for ever water filling up my pockets the storm has come and gone the rain settled in i shiver holding the wall with my one hand covering that hole that that fist had made was it my fathers? my grandfathers my mothers? i close my eyes and feel the sand falling from my long hair my hands start to wrinkle from the water there is another painting to do another walk into town another night of dreams a valley full of dreams a dream of bridges and water and broken walls ...O...
from orgami :
eleven oh five p.m. MAY 3 2007 night is upon me devouring my starvation soul my plum thick years of steak and ice cream chocolate and white enriched bread my mind is racing at the peak of its medication cycles feed me pills feed me pills fat oval pink ones tiny amber disc ones large purple round ones white zombie sleepers father feel goods i want them all cast me off from this wharf start up the twins spin that wheel driver take us upcurrent watch your pressures your electricity vacums and pumps depth guages and compass crystal of the chronometer under the blood haze of a rising moon glints like a sallow eye the taunted beast ..O..
from orgami :
Hey Orgami its Orgami seven oh six p.m. FRIDAY MAY 3 2007 still Went to the shopping supermarket took my packsack on my back and my travellers coffee cup with coffee ventured forth to the land of wonder trying to find everything people so different then my usual grocery supermarket store people cutting me off more cheaper smaller produce or worse more expensive at this other store i had to go too but got it all and put it into my pack and came home it was heavy the sun beat down hot and heavy and people lounged around pick up trucks and lawn chairs talking their sweet language french or english while dogs barked and children cried out skateboarding or biking down the blocks of suburban dreamland.. back is killing me so i came here and find out Diaryland server is down for us cretins who dont have a GOLD MEMBERSHIP ha ha ha ha No more free rides Click on here if you want to join another day of this and i am moving my diary to that free site that Lori told me about its been three good years here and im not upset its just a sign for me that i'm interpreting as a time for a change kind of thing if i cannot move my files i will delete them because i will just continue to write my poems for another three years as i have been writing them for years and years now its amazing how fast it adds up though all the entries all the poems i will miss Diaryland of course but new things are always exciting and wonderful to discover will see how it goes its only the weekend right now i have said i was going to do this before and never did its because i love D-land its been there for me since 2005 and that was a wicked year i just lived at the library hanging on by a thread just glued to that screen writing writing writing Christmas of that year i started the thirtieth of December or something near there i will do this i will get my page set up on this free site and i will write both sites yes that is what i shall do ..O..
from orgami :
three fifty p.m. FRIDAY MAY 3 2007 DIARYLAND out of action still have to leave message on this baroque Flintstone system of NOTES sunny out U.V. index is up to 7 which is high wore my ball cap today must go now to do shopping at the great supermarket PRICE CHOPPERS gawd damn! back up the same hill i walked down bah Landlord man out working on shed Lori watching Judge Joe Brown on the tube Watched that Kermit "Hurt" video last night its crude vulgar distorted and yet weirdly empathetic towards people who are down with their addictions Like people i knew of in the past and present Sad in a way oh well time to go walk in the sun hear the birds have some fun ...O...
from orgami :
diaryland still out of action dead tired tonight watched a version of "Hurt" on U-Tube and despite being grim depressing and stupid the accoustic work of the song came out very well Reznor is quite the talent i am glad to have discovered him just recently so its cool to listen to his stuff brand new need to go to sleep night for all and one ..O..
from orgami :
seems i can add notes just not the Diaryland main Lori was showing me another site that is free and i can download photos and music so i may switch to that mode its not that i cannot afford to spend money and become a Gold member...its just that...well free is free Sat reading THE WALRUS today i like this magazine its quirky and witty and full of strange things sometimes and unlike ROLLING STONES which i muddled through (all the ads all the ads all the ads) the only thing i found that was interesting was Guitar Hero thing and Trent Reznor and something on U-Tube with Kermit singing his song "Hurt" which is a classic havent checked out the Kermit video yet HERE at the library and nothing much has changed since i was last using this place the fans still go around the air conditioner is working today and its very loud but its calming that industrial sound like white noise But this i have mentioned way back in 2005 when i first started to come here to write Diaryland Back when i didnt even have a peice of shit computer to work on before i have the snazzy duel core job that i have now still looking back i like the simplicity of my earlier poems back then back then was not working much or taking any heavy kind of medication for my bi polar either i put the box in the mail and that took eleven dollars so i ended up with twenty five cents in my pocket so i am unable to buy a coffee while i am down here but like i mentioned i have just sat in the magazine section of the library reading away for a change and scanning the pages even managed to look at SKY AND TELESCOPE for awhile... In THE WALRUS they talked about a police tactical team and some altercation with natives on the border or near the south west border of Ontario this was after Dudley George got shot through the head and the big witch hunt produced a person who became the martyr or "bad apple" and was ousted from the tactical team but still held onto by the police force but he died in a car crash a few years later strange coincidence..anyway the TRU as they were called went into a house on the reserve after the cheif called them and there was a photo of a Mohawk man and a soldier and the TRU member put two x's on the photo and then the chief or relative complained and that started another enquiry going The original guy that started the whole incident did not complain about the x's Go figure eh?? anyway they kept talking about this Nut Island thing from Boston or someplace it was a waste treatment plant that was a tight unit and they were so inbred in their thinking that they released like millions of gallons of raw sewage into the river maybe billions but a hell of a lot anyway Anyway this incident is written in this book that was part of the seargants exam for Ontario Provincial Police (I think) i just breezed over the article well anyway i have read a lot of books in my time and a lot of disasters man made come about by this same sort of focus or narrow narrow vision and the following of a leader that is like pathos like chaos and then things line up like divine intervention and a nuclear plant blows up a plane lands in a Florida swamp because no one can hear the chime they all become so intent on trying to change this light bulb in the "dashboard" of the commercial airliner someone bumps the cruise control or auto pilot i mean someone else goes into the wheel well to see if the landing gear is locked down manually etc etc and the whole thing goes to hell read a lot on cults too but they dont have anything to do with the Walrus story Anyway saw Reznor's face finally and read a little on what occured in Kurt Cobains life from ROLLING STONES magazine away from this talk now today is beautiful out the trees are budding flowers are rising up lawns are greening its fantastic to see all this come from the drudgery of winter sometimes hybernation occurs in animals because they can put themselves into a deep sleep cycle AND their blood cells fold in half now if only the can figure out how we can do this also we can sleep winter away or if you like winter sleep summer away oh yah it might be good for space travel or something like that i thought that was pretty cool when i found that out smart animals too bad we are slowly killing them off one species at a time Oh and ourselves off too with wars and conflict insanity etc over a hundred homes were built in North Bay last year and more going up now surplus lands for sale finally and new developments okayed heh heh one hundred thats just one neighbourhood in Toronto a southern city from here I wonder i wonder if you put an animal into hibernation and controlled the environment so that it never got signals to wake up for spring....? what would it do to the animal?? how long can an animal be sustained by this??? and if one can be fed..or maybe wake up once in awhile like some animals do in hibernation?? and then they could do this with man?? no wait.... people in comas go through this and eventually they wake up or they just remain in limbo their muscles atrophy no space travel will have to wait a few years for this idea gotta go now get home im hungry and its five oclock ..O..
from orgami :
servers still down on Diaryland Main so here i write its cool out but beautiful there is an edge in the air a sharpness for circles and a square to roundedness the cats are beside me and i scratch their ears every so often chores to accomplish now i did the dishes and scrubbed the couch cushion for Lori cleaned my lunch tote bag out for tommorrows lunch work went well today got lots done and have more to do tommorrow mostly sweep dust off of inventory on the upper shelves and give them a damp wipe down clean my inventory in my room sweep outside parking lot of walkway something like this was busy enough anyways thought that i was going to be sent home again this morning like yesterday didnt stop in at the shell station today went to work still had coffee in my travellers mug that Loris doctor gave us She is nice well both Lori and the doctor are nice Lots of people out cleaning their yards and gardens lots of people walking with pets each other etc still marvel at all the tractor trailers at the corner of highway eleven and seventeen this is a main corridor for out west trucks go north because the topography is flat relatively compared to seventeen past Sudbury and even more mountians and valleys past Sault St Marie so they save their brakes and gears and fuel They have to go quite a distance North before going west but its worth it i guess well have to drink my coffee and head out to do a task downtown North Bay is pretty busy these days new buildings going up condos old folks homes a new small factory new motels heard on the radio today that doctors or scientists (what is the difference??) think they have found the gene which makes people schizophrenic or bi-polar or deep depression as long as i take my meds i can pretty well not mess my life up but of course mess it up wow just playing with the cd mode of my computer because i am listening to Siouxsie and the Banshees and this thing does quite a lot never fails to amaze me so glad i found computers in 1996 never had anything to do with them before that so eleven years i have come quite a ways heh heh well gotta go ..O..
from orgami :
sunshine everywhere like the day is smiling birds alive calling flying people are out and about buses trucks cars bikes its a busy mid week time home alone here watch the tube next
from orgami :
server is down today wednesday first of May nine thirty three a.m. so i will try to leave a note here instead work was non existant today nothing to do so i came home it was going to be this way the bossman already talked to me about days off being in the part time department oh well just reading diaries and sitting here its cold out today and overcast with some wind big french cat caramel is laying right in front of me on top of the table beneath the computer screen he likes laying here tweet is beside me on the little roll away bed things are going well ..O..
from chaosdaily :
it does help to write things down in here.. clears it out of your system. and there is a song that says... freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose..
from poolagirl :
Wow! What a great story about the pirate and the shirt! And thanks for stopping by my diary.
from chaosdaily :
any site like photobucket that's free will give you an html code to paste into your diary. i am excited you will put your art on here!
from orgami :
here is the tender of the night seeped in stillness and quiet contemplation sit long enough and that lens will capture you eccentric silhouette steal a murmur of your soul ..O..
from ursamajor :
I'm lucky... you're lucky... we're all lucky! Ah ha ha ha ha! ::the bannister's lucky:: (Rocky Horror - just in case you weren't a midnight movie geek in high school like myself.)
from chaosdaily :
yes, you are lucky! im glad you like the job, and they like you!!
from chaosdaily :
i read a lot of people i think you would like.. check some of the ones on my profile out!
from taketaketake :
unless you're gonna do it
from chaosdaily :
i agree with lori you are too creative for a job washing cars. painting them, maybe! but not washing!
from chaosdaily :
wow sounds like you are keeping pretty busy!
from taketaketake :
mystery tramp
from wasgood :
anyway, none of them are writers. 'specially not us
from wasgood :
the arcade building on spring the face of it jes like the face of the arcade building on broadway scuffed up dirty sneakers shuffling and weaving shoulder to shoulder we knock knuckles and he shines two quarters in his clean left palm and i scrape my pockets but h'aint got shit so he spits and he grumbles nigga you know you got it, and i think goddamn gawdam it's nothing like it used to be
from chaosdaily :
it sure seems you are part of the team!
from ursamajor :
i'm liking the new layout. much easier on the eyes!
from chaosdaily :
hang in there... we all have days like that.. just breathe deep!
from chaosdaily :
sounds like the job is going well! im glad!! and the walk in the fresh air is good for you too.
from orgami :
wishing you well a well of wishes ..O..
from mordorr :
know that you remain in my thoughts, and i am wishing you happiness always.
from chaosdaily :
things sound like they are going well. great!!
from chaosdaily :
sometimes when the diaryland servers are busy you cant post, but you can read. you just have to keep trying...
from ursamajor :
congratulations!
from chaosdaily :
wow what an exciting opportunity! you can do this!!
from wasgood :
it's too good that i found this and i'll be reading it
from chaosdaily :
good luck!!
from chaosdaily :
im sorry o, i wish i could help.
from chaosdaily :
to delete notes, go to the edit notes bar on the left!
from chaosdaily :
oh is THAT what that smell is??!?!?! heehee
from orgami :
cold embrace like slender cool fingers a smooth seeping fire that smoulders sweetly a thrill chill that lept from island to island man is ..O..
from chaosdaily :
just email it to chaosdaily at diaryland.com!
from chaosdaily :
i want a picture too~!
from chaosdaily :
waldens pond was probably right up there in the top ten of alltime most boring books!
from chaosdaily :
our store forms those icicles...
from chaosdaily :
i used to have a minolta srt202.. even developed my own black and whites. it was a good hobby when i had the time
from chaosdaily :
please dream the sign of continuation...
from chaosdaily :
i heard on the radio this morning that it's milwaukee's 14th warmest winter.. so there have been other warmer ones, but not lately!
from ursamajor :
Happy New Year!
from chaosdaily :
i think diaryland is more reality than the young and the restless....
from apathyascend :
Local news is the most useless news, I believe. Perhaps they're equal to mindless tabloids--another thing I absolutely hate. Did you know that animals have the propensity towards getting high?
from orgami :
hey chaos a Haloscan sounds like an out of body angelic MRI
from orgami :
ha ha cant get on to write an entry busy servers so I just come here instead way past my bedtime should be sleeping by now but had coffees and colas and am awake its like taking NO-DOZE sat tonight before the Bingo and listened to my fellow men and women Looked them in the eyes and nodded my head and asked them questions and laughed and sipped my coffee and chewed on my hot dog and smiled as they told their story i am not used to smiling or the heavy eye contact so my eyes felt funny and my face was numb afterwards when the bingo got going But i am really trying to stay focused like getting tunnel vision i get funnel hearing when people start to talk and all i have to do is turn my head a bit and they cannot be heard im sticking with it though it makes me very nervous but overcoming this social thing is my new years goal that and trying to lose the yogi bear gut
from chaosdaily :
hey, you know you dont need a gold membership to have a different template. if you want to post pics, you only need to have them hosted somewhere online... and for comments, you can use haloscan. if you need help, just email me...
from summer-gale :
Night Steven!
from orgami :
hey Steven! what are you doing up so late?? You have to go to Zellers tommorrow don't forget! ha I wont Christmas is good so far am enjoying the quietness of this season Was just me and the cat for a couple of days Loris back and thats good too though I missed her but she would give me shit for being on this machine this late So I better go will listen to that cd mix of rap and Neil and opera and that eighties tune "Love, love will tear us apart..again" Night Steven
from summer-gale :
Sorry .. hehe. I mean Merry Christmas!
from summer-gale :
Merry Chritsmas!
from elgan :
Chat seems to be back.
from elgan :
Thank you for the season's greetings and for your lovely note, orgami. Chat is indeed dead in the water, it is not your computer at all. It ran virtually interruption free (well, there were a few interruptions) from September 1 to around the beginning of December. We chat addicts are bereft and experiencing delirium tremens, which makes it a little difficult to type, considering all the shaking, but nonetheless, we soldier on, meeting on AIM or MSN or wherever we can. If you would like to be included in our number, email me at elgan_speaks@yahoo.co.uk and we will seek celestial alignment.
from orgami :
tired changes always ongoing questioning a lot of purpose need to reinvent a new outlook in my brain see more definition Or perhaps cannot see all the shape of what it is that has become.....
from chaosdaily :
two updates in one day. what a treat! stay warm...
from chaosdaily :
have a good thanksgiving!
from chaosdaily :
you matter to those of us who read you!
from mordorr :
"if we dont reaach for something like happiness and love and or lovers then it is like falling in and getting sucked out to sea by a riptide buried under the waves of emotion and empathy the great grip of lonliness where instead laughter and love can be found in the arms of our significant lover." I read this. One of the most inspiring notes anyone has ever left me. you left it about a year ago, in an old diary of mine. I want to thank you. it inspired me, even looking back on it one year later. you are one of the many hearts of diaryland. <3
from chaosdaily :
beware of well meaning friends who try to fix your computer...
from chaosdaily :
its odd that you can get to dland chat and not be able to read/post at home. maybe for some reason dland is blocked in your security system or browser. try checking internet preferences or options and see if it is listed on a blocked list. (or not trusted site)
from chaosdaily :
how nice of chloes mom to buy you a ticket. im glad you get to see so much of chloe and talk to her!
from chaosdaily :
thanks, o! i am posting pictures of the pooping chick tonight!
from chaosdaily :
sounds like you are eating good these days! you might want to consider a battery charger. the chargers arent that much; the batteries are more than the regular ones, but you can recharge them 50 or 60 times. saves money in the long run!
from orgami :
they are tearing up Jane street putting in new sewer mains huge machinery scooping up dirt with their articulated booms the back up beeping of the many dump trucks people in the pit putting all the sewer pipes together the large peices of concrete crushed stone gravel then when its all finished pavement Went to Bunsmaster last night to get some sweet treats and bought some sticky buns and other good things came home and ate them while watching the tube Judge Mathias the soap opera Young and Restless anyway must get going even though there is forty minutes left here ciao ..O..
from chaosdaily :
the geese are flying over my house too on their way even further south. and the other day, a great blue heron flew over!
from nicim :
locked my diary. if you want the password, just email me at nicim@twisterjester.com. Love ya smooches XXOO N
from chaosdaily :
there are 16 people on diaryland who list you as a favorite.. so i would guess all 16 of us like your poems and the way you write. i know i do!
from mordorr :
yes thanks. :)
from chaosdaily :
if your pic is already on your computer, email it to me, and i will give you the link to put in your diary.
from chaosdaily :
neil young is a favorite of mine too... dude wanted a black bedroom but i told him no. instead, i let him paint it dark blue, and he was happy with that. now kid is in that room, and it's back to light blue.
from mordorr :
hey. i've locked my diary, so if you ever want to read simply drop me a note with your email and i'll set you up with a password :)
from mordorr :
my summer has been better than any other from my past. i hope that though yours is hectic it's alright. you can still capture feeling so well, your diary remains one of my favourites even as time goes by.
from nicim :
8/3 no dear one. not married. jsut living with Mr. Lucky - so called becuase he's lucky I haven't killed him yet!! glad you're getting new place. think of you often XXOO N
from summer-gale :
I think it must have been the same storm moving from southwest to northeast. Thankfully it was a fast mover down here.
from chaosdaily :
im sorry to hear about crumb. you might try calling the local animal shelter, someone might have turned him in there...
from chaosdaily :
cool to have chloe here! your painting sounds like fun. its really great when you enjoy your job. i had a job like that once haha.
from x-chlo :
hey dad :) its ur daughter i finally got signed up! well just sayin i love ya
from mordorr :
havent written you in a while, you know how life gets..as usual, hope you're well :)
from chaosdaily :
ill have a cup.. with instant cocoa, please.. and please, go on as much as you like..
from summer-gale :
My childhood dolls still come to life at midnight so I try to be asleep and give them some privacy.
from summer-gale :
Sounds like summer has come to canada. I bet it's daylight until 11 O' Clock there. It's daylight until 9 here. It also sounds like you are enjoying it way too much!
from nicim :
6/12 full moon tonight. an Angel moon. wish you could post some of your artwork. if it is anything like your words - ahhh!!! XXOO N
from de-nos-bras :
missin' you...
from summer-gale :
I didn't know you could draw. That's great! I'm glad you made some money from it and that you enjoyed it.
from mordorr :
thank you. they're from b.c.<3
from pansycline :
I'm feeling crappy too. Like I don't even know how to be a good friend. I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure we're both good people, really.
from chaosdaily :
O, i love reading your words. you are a good man, deep inside.
from mordorr :
haven't heard from you in a while. hope all is well.
from f-i-n :
your words amaze me
from pansycline :
yes! mudpies! so great. "hot splash of summer" -- I love it. my sisters and i used to wear my mom's old nylons on our heads when we went biking on the dirt roads in the summer, to keep the clouds of no-see-ums out of our noses and mouths and hair. I am glad that you found diaryland, too, mr. O.
from pansycline :
oh wow -- "dogshit dust" brings back memories of forts underneath giant evergreen trees, acorns in the dirt, and wading in ditches filled with ice covered water, waiting for the schoolbus in the morning, seeing how deep we could go without getting "a bootful." My first home in the country, as a kid. So much white dogshit on the yard, come spring.
from summer-gale :
I can tell that you've been looking at the full moon! Pretty, huh?
from jackkellyo :
interesting.....lol it was good...and thats good that you guys are dooing good. anyways i just wanted to drop by and say hello
from pansycline :
this poem, about the man driving and remembering, is stunning. keep doing what you're doing, friend.
from jackkellyo :
hey its been forever snice ive caught you, how are ya doing?
from nicim :
4/8 I have a can opener you can have. email me your address!! nicim@twisterjester.com XXOO N
from pansycline :
nothing like actually writing, to bring out one's creative writing skilz! ps. "fart sack"?! ew!
from chaosdaily :
im glad you like you and feel like you are part of things! thats a good way to feel...
from chaosdaily :
yea i was wondering what happened to you!
from cdghost :
enjoyed your words
from pansycline :
people are funny w/ saying that people "look like so and so". I've been told that I look "just like!" most every single famous female w/ red hair that you can name. Except Julie Andrews. Who I think, out of all of them, is possibly the closest. Then again, I don't think that anyone really knows what they look like to other people.
from orgami :
Dear old Orgami sometimes you are so flustered and wailing in the dark thining you are a failure You are not a failure you have made a difference in many peoples lives everyones parents freinds relatives lovers brothers sisters eventually dies its part of life process part of being human i too hurt when there is no hurt there is no feeling and that makes us animals also a base creature non evolved I think I think feeling is evolving slows us down me down to think where am I
from summer-gale :
I'm glad you are having such a great time with your old friends. But prepare for spring. It will be in the upper 50's this saturday and my tulips and daffodils are peaking through. It's coming your way next!
from pansycline :
it's been blowin' and snowin' something awful around here, too. trop miserable to go out -- even for groceries! I miss summer!!!
from mordorr :
<3
from orgami :
Hello Orgami this is Orgami i'm sitting here in your self awake and asleep aware and numb i drift in nimble exercises
from artemisiac :
we're on bloor street eating deep fried panzerotti's. eric and ed in the front seat. I in the back. You just came online. E says, "I miss you brother, and i'm thinking about you" and good ole self absorbed Ed says, "I went to burlington on the GO train last weekend" haha.
from chaosdaily :
those entries were part of you. thats the nice thing about diaryland, most people dont judge you.. we all have good and bad in us
from summerroll :
I hope you're able to work through this.
from nicim :
2/3/06 no, dear orgami, being upset about Terry is not wrong. Meeting someone over the internet has become standard practice today. entire relationships are built long before you actually meet. you need to discuss this with Lori immeidately. some folks are flattered that someone likes them - sight unseen. so it may just be her need to feel liked and wanted and have nothing to do with how she feels about you. but you should tell her you think it has gone "over the line" of acceptability. an occasional email correspondence, even once a week on an IM. But personal phone calls to a stranger? Nope. And has she told this stranger that she's involved? Invited you and he to get to know one another? That's another piece of the puzzle. it's ok to have FRIENDS of a different sex, but not to exclude your partner. Just make sure she's not gotten herself caught up in how exciting it is to have someone like her. She may well tell you it's nothing, and change her habits. If not, then you have to make your own decisions. i think you are a wonderful person and write like an angel. I wish you would try to publish your writing. XXOO N
from orgami :
look wat am i to do everythinhg is not as it seems the heartbreak the anger the lost voices in the dreamswept feild run and run and never get far enouogh away no more mother mo more father Mhy child I see only on such short few days winter is here soft and white settles on trees and lawns the lake the docks it is so painfully beautifiul to observe something that begins to part from oneself to drift free and gain roots elsewhere its aqll about growth and when there is no more growth then such things wither and die my spirit is so low these last few days i am a failure i have been unseccesful in making a difference or caring no one trully wants me I am cursed from birth im so sad and tired as I write this at one thirty in the mornign i just want to go have a shower and cry and cry and cry so much ache inside so much still even after all this time
from summerroll :
Glad that my writing can help in some ways, although it's not at beautiful as yours. It's nice to see that even though you've been through all the things that you have been that you seem to be in a good place, a better place now. And some people never have the chance to get there.
from chaosdaily :
dland is like that book... lots of different stories!
from mordorr :
the spirit in you i see, is honest. and i'm glad you take comfort in my words as i do in yours. i am proud of you that you are stepping into the light (and stay in it as long as you can! for if you step out, you must eventually come back in.)
from mordorr :
your writing never ceases to amaze
from summerroll :
Your last couple entries have been lovely. Wish I had the knack and skill for writing that you do.
from mordorr :
i=still around but not under the regret. this is the replacement. so note here and i will there for you. hopefully you are well.
from mental4you :
O Romeo....where art thou Romeo? Your words massage the hearts of other women. If only I could access your e-mails I would find the real you
from nicim :
1/5/06 you leave me such beautiful messages. Like long strokes across my cheek. email me at nicim@twisterjester.com. wondering if there's something i can help with. XXOO N
from orgami :
another year older and all that has come down since then the choas of last summer the cops the counsellors finally taking my medications properly seeing Chloe and writing her steadily being a Dad for her after all those missing years since she was four, then seven, then eleven....... all the silver/white hairs growing in my dark hair Not grey but white so I am mortal after all just like everyone else
from orgami :
Hey old man how is it No really You hanging in there YOU ARE FORTY ONE THIS JULY you old Cancer devil What are you doing growing your hair way past your shoulders You look like a freakin' hippy and that van dyke Man that is so so sixties and those sideburns You look like the wolfman GOd how you have aged though in the last four years those dark circles and your eyes starting to sink into you head that cave man brow Oh man you are a sight my freind )Not the pick of the litter) But dont worry because I love you you stupid ass Me and you are a great team You get me around my boy I must say and you know how to use that voice of yours Tonight that fellow stopped to tell you did a hell of a job reading the twelve steps in front of all those people and dont forget the other guy who thinks you should do radio what are we going to do this year?? your going to that "school" entertains me what do you think can possibly come from that?? (I am aware I am writing myself, I find this refreshing sometimes to do this) hell anyway Orgami You are not a bad chum after all your just a big ol teddy bear (with teeth) hah hah hah I'd better get out of here get another tea........O.....
from pansycline :
yr apt sounds great! mais, I heart tile.
from summer-gale :
HAHA! Congrats on your new mouse and Happy New year!
from pansycline :
Hey thanks for the note you left. Your descriptions are so vivid and the focal points so well-chosen! The orange barrels with reflective stripes?! It's really really great.
from mordorr :
i'm glad you can find both comfort and uneasyness in my words. i find the same in yours, but more often than not your words are warm & overwhelm me with smiles. merry christmas, o, and have a safe new years. my visits to diaryland are from now on to be even moreso sparce. but i will be back ever so often to check up on you and the others. Love&Cheer - mordorr.
from pansycline :
Hi, Friend. Good to see you're having a nice December. It can be such a good month! My current favorite paragraph of yours: "they finally took away the signal lights for the rippped up old defunct rail line half way down Jane street they just have these two cones on the base so no one crashes their snowmobile into them or trips into them when they get covered up" -- somehow makes me think of a cross between Tom Waits and ___?? I don't know. So, when I think of you, I think "part Tom Waits".
from summer-gale :
How am I doing? I'm doing great! Christmas I will be in Disney World with my kids and her kids. I'm in love with my family (and your poetry) I hope Lori has a nice time up North with her child even though it kind of leaves you alone. I hope you like the peace and don't get lonely. Merry Christmas!
from chaosdaily :
glad to hear you are living the heavenly life!
from summer-gale :
YAAY for your own computer and not having to walk to the library in the cold!
from summer-gale :
I've been away too long. I love the way you write. I may have to go to meetings myself soon. I may start a new diary if I do. I'll let you know. ~Diane
from summerroll :
The History Channel is my fave too! And Discovery Science Channel and National Geographic channel, but those don't come with the cheap cable.
from moodswing :
THAT WAS THE BEST MESSAGE EVER I TOO LOVE CHRISTMAS STUFF ESPECIALLY THE SMELL OF IT ALL ROASTING AND CHILLY teehee.
from mordorr :
dear friend, i hope you feel many warm hugs on cold days. (even when you've no coffee in the cupboard!) Because in spirit, those hugs, like fate, are infinite.
from echofails :
interesting ?
from mordorr :
<3
from chaosdaily :
thanks, o
from summerroll :
Awww....that evil, evil snow. glad we don't get any of that down here.
from mordorr :
funny, my parents are jehovahs witnesses. so they tell me about all that stuff all the time. in my opinion there is evil in everything; especially in perception of religion. you're welcome, though, my faith in you is infinite.
from pansycline :
You're taking a course? That's fantastic! I can't wait to hear about it.
from summer-gale :
I often wished that God had designed us so we didn't need to eat but then we probably wouldn't engage our world as much if we didn't need it to survive. So yes I spent and absurd amount of money on food and it better last me two weeks! I got a room mate though and that should help the money situation. My leaves are just coming to peak now. It's all pretty outside!
from pansycline :
I love this passage that you wrote today: "woke up with dampness in the air and looked through the blinds from the living room window onto the parked tenants cars and saw rain on the metal hoods looked across at the house and could see misting rain made Lori and I coffees and watched some television hung around for a bit put up some boxes and took the empties to the freshly emptied dumpster out back..." I love those kinds of warm inside good-smelling days.
from de-nos-bras :
halloween, jaaa it is so beautiful :) yes, tell us more about it, i really would love to know more about it, because here in Lebannon, we do not celebrate it =( oh and i was checking your profile, you still havent changed me dearest Steve, bleak-horror is me..now :)
from pansycline :
well, why don't you tell us about your Halloween costume? Us silent, non-comment-leaving lurkers of and around the lovely corridors of your diary.
from orgami :
Dear Mordorr You cut all your beautiful hair off??? well I guess that this must feel different now on your head I on the other hand have hair that is getting longer each day I am wearing my orange toque with white pom pom and my hair sticks out at the sides like Jimbo Jones from the Simpsons cartoon I love this vintage 70's thing Vampire for Halloween eh?? Lori and I are broke so we dont even have enough money for halloween candy it will be quiet at the Greer apartment tonight Lori used to be a Jehovah's Witness and she told me all about Evil Halloween that Pagan ritual from the old fear ridden days satanism and the like I haven't dressed up for halloween since I was eight years old and you are correct that I am full of it too curious to see what goes on each day to get a walker or retire Wednesday I go to the rehabilitation place for schooling in math and english Math because I did poorly in school and English because sometimes what I read I dont interpret it correctly and I have some difficulty what else? paid my rent at the bank and got two orange gumballs that look like Pumpkins and I am happily chewing on one of them now usually I don't chew gum but today IS halloween and the candy was FREE so I am enjoying the moment drank tons of coffee this morning after waking up to my Bunnis voice telling me to greet the day It was so dark out that hour we went back threw me for a bit and I felt really tired so I made coffee after coffee and now I am buzzing on the caffiene It is raining or sort of raining but warm last years Halloween was so cold and tonight I will watch channel twelve as they broadcast the trick or treaters from in front of the fire-hall that is fun to watch well glad you wrote me I was thinking no one found me interesting anymore that I bore them now its really busy here at the library today only one computer is not being used there are eleven total Lori and I are doing fine we bought a couch and loveseat so we lay about on these new items She on her couch and I on my loveseat and we watch the boob tube and talk well must be going now thank you for writing Mordorr have a happy halloween ...O..........
from mordorr :
you are full of life and wonder and you know it. (so don't you ever try to forget it, o!)
from pansycline :
It's good to hear you're doing better -- well, even? That was a lovely entry about your daughter. I've been madly busy for it feels like ages, typing scraps here and there, and reading and going all the time -- my lists are long and all crossed out, but it seems like I don't really get that much done. Maybe I should put more difficult things on those lists. I wish you guys the best with being able to visit with Lori's daughter. It's so important to be able to connect with family -- and so damaging when you can't. I wonder why that is, or, at least seems to be the case... Vinter eees komming. yikes!
from summer-gale :
Yes! Sting was the name of the Hobbit sword and it would glow when orcs were near. First Bilbo had it when he went on his adventure to the misty mountians and then he passed it and a mithrail shirt along with the One Ring to his nephew Frodo when he retired to the elves. It's a great book isn't it? I re-read it often.
from summer-gale :
I wish you luck with your daughter. Things aren't in full color in massachusetts yet. I don't know if I'd like living in a place that is so cold so much but then again you get so much sun in the summer, so I don't know.
from mordorr :
oh autumn; my favourite season. do you welcome the cold, O? I hope that things go well..with your daughter, and with L's. I've said it before and I will say it again that you've this magnificent spirit I will always admire. Coffee and tea soon will be more valuable than ever (if you can imagine.) I am a sucker for when the leaves start to freeze to the pavement. When your heels crunch against the ground and you've got twenty scarves wrapped around you but you can still feel the cold. Down here near the border, it hardly ever snows anymore. They say something to do with global warming. It's getting hotter every summer, but colder every winter. Winter is frozen. My city is frozen but you'll find no snow until January (if you're lucky.) Last year it rained what felt like summer rain on Christmas. I've forgotten my point Orgami, and have gotten carried away. I hope that the colder seasons bring you as much joy as they do me. I am happy to see the hot days end where the air is too humid to breathe let alone move. I am looking forward to the comfort of hot water, and to not taking advantage of the original temperature of a simple cup of coffee. I am thankful that it is autumn. I'll be content until Spring, (and maybe by then something will have changed. and perhaps will remain so.) With love...Mordorr.
from summerroll :
Thanks for that incredible description. The imnagery was incredible, much better than the only "fall" I've ever seen which has been on TV. We get some leaves changing color down here, but nothing like what you described. I'll have to make my way up north one time to see it.
from nicim :
a quick hello to check in. your fall imagery is so wonderful. i wish you could put it all into a book for publication some day. XXOO N
from summerroll :
What is this thing you call "fall"? I don't think that exists down here.
from summer-gale :
It must be pretty up where you live. The fall colors haven't quite made it to where I live yet.
from chaosdaily :
o, if you can manage to connect, there are free internet providers out there, but you need to be online to get them.. maybe you could check on them wherever you are connecting now.. just google free isp
from mordorr :
the concert was amazing, orgami. thanks for caring.
from summerroll :
My place is good. Suprisingly, because of the hurricane last week, I got a lot done ( no work). But I had guests this weekend, so I didn't quite get to finish my bedroom. Hopefully everything will be in its rightful place soon, but it is definitely starting to feel like "my home" now. Glad to hear the same about your new place.
from randh :
Thank you very much for your kind note. Music has always been the biggest chunk of my life, and right now i'm in a transitional period where i'm finding more music that's in tune with my beliefs....Feel free to read more whenever you can.
from summer-gale :
Do you write poetry for yor girlfriend too? I bet she loves it. You're very good with images.
from summer-gale :
My friend John gets seasonal depression too and this spring was enough to hospitalize him. I try to be there for him but I feel so useless. I'm glad that you like your new apartment though. I hope you get that table you like.
from mordorr :
hope that you are well, O..and hope to hear from you.
from summer-gale :
I'm hoping that I can write my love and passion out honestly at two-lovers and give it to him for Christmas. I can't do that in my main journal. Too many family members and friends read it to expose myself so graphically. Thank you for your compliments. I hope he likes it too. I hope your plans for getting a computer at home work out for you both.
from two-lovers :
This is really Summer Gale as a new diary. If you read it and it offends you I'm sorry. But that's why I put the words separate from my main. It was part of me I couldn't express there.
from summerroll :
I love the instant noodles. I practically lived on them when I was in college. You can't beat 49 cents per package.
from pansycline :
and do you like your new place?
from summerroll :
I feel you on the moving business. Everything is crammed into my new place and needs to be put away but sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed. But good luck!
from de-nos-bras :
i miss you big lebrowski :(
from chaosdaily :
you are so right o
from chaosdaily :
o, the thing i sent you will have a utah postmark on it... enjoy!
from summer-gale :
When did you join the over 40 ring? I was so surprised to see you there! LOL!
from obscuresoul :
thanks for the note. i'm 17... you said you wanted to know.
from nicim :
just to say hi again. always enjoy your wonderful images and wishing you the best in everything.
from mordorr :
This is the new the-regret. so add this one and delete the other. I am still me, just under a different title. <3
from starkid- :
Hello, you don't know me, but this isn't spam ^.^ Just copy and paste the link! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v15/janin/Animation1.gif
from chaosdaily :
o, does your card pay for a chiropractor? cause they will help you more than pills will........
from summer-gale :
I am so sorry about your Dad. This was such a scare for me. It was unthinkable before this. Also I'm sorry about your back. When mine goes out it takes a week or more to get better. I'm glad that you saw your daughter and your Ex and had such a good time. As far as the working vacation I bet you'd go crazy if you weren't fixing things. I think you like it. What amazes me more is your ability to say that you love Lori. I am afraid to say that so plainly. What if he doesn't say it back? Worse yet what if he does but he doesn't mean it? What if he tires of me because I'm no longer a challenge? Do I really want to feel that much for another human being again? It hurt like hell the last time. I wish there was a way to feel what someone else feels for you. I need a Vulcan mind meld. Anyways thanks for dropping in and sayin' Hi!
from vyinglette :
guess who.
from rockabillie :
Thanks for the note. Enjoy your Canadian summer.
from pansycline :
mr. O, are you the author of those 2 poems just before the entry where you dissed your own vocabulary?
from the-regret :
You could always take up reading the dictionary..though I think you have a broad vocabulary already. <3
from kellipotamus :
your writing reminds me of The Streets...hopefully you like The Streets and take that as a compliment; it was meant as one :) -K^P
from spunkyhottie :
Oh your forty..........Well ok~CHEY~
from spunkyhottie :
HEy you seem REALLY NICE so are you??or are just putting up a show to get girls to talk to you??~LOL~email me or leave me a note~CHEY~
from chaosdaily :
well hang in there dude. you can do it...
from pansycline :
your open-ness and honesty with yourself (and us) is absolutely wonderful to watch unfold. just thought you'd like to know.
from pansycline :
weirdness. just today I was thinking about change and how I always want it and then I get it and it's so exhausting that I just want something solid --- and as always I reminded myself that "change is good"... it's exhilarating! but, being exhilarated all the time gets you really really really tired. --- anyways your entry about change reminded me...
from the-regret :
well I'm glad.
from the-regret :
*HUG* you are strong.
from chaosdaily :
O, have i got something for you! would you email me your address? chaosdailyATdiaryland.com
from the-regret :
see you then
from pansycline :
mm. cheese melt. you've totally inspired me to have lunch now. do you feel powerful?
from orgami :
hello there Orgami this is your altered Ego writing you do go on and on ol boy do you like writing and do you talk like this in person My My how entertaining you must be Or a dreadful bore but you are a devil
from pansycline :
you sound better! good! I know what you mean about the heat -- it just doesn't stop, even when it does rain you feel like someone just threw you in a proofer at a bakery. That's a pretty specialized reference -- so if you don't know what a proofer is it's where the bread sits to rise. It's warm and damp and smells funny. Yup, anyways I just came in from outside and it took my eyes like 10 minutes to stop seeing things in negative! zoiks!
from pansycline :
deep breaths, my friend, deep breaths!
from summer-gale :
Thanks for visiting and the nice note. I've just read some of yoru diary and I must say you remind me of my first husband. He was very poetical, even in his speech. So much so that I sometimes found my self "translating" what he was saying for the duller folk. Good luck on your apartment searches but promise me you won't stay forever at a place that makes you or your girl feel bad or they treat you bad.
from pansycline :
awww, what a swell message! I bet you say that to all the girls! ;) --- it's very great to hear that things are on the upswing for you! things are on the stress swing for me (another exam coming up) thus my brain is frozen in terror when it comes to diary-ing, but I'm still checking up on all my faves!
from summerroll :
Oh yeah. That Tommyknockers movie is creepy. The first time I saw it, I had a bad dream that someone was trying to pullout my teeth with pliers. Have fun and cufddle lots.
from summerroll :
I was suprised to see an unfamiliar name on my notes. I always think that no one is ever reading my crap. Yep, Gus is my sweety. No tatoos as of yet. We've been "together" since February. All the sordid details are in my earlier posts if you want to check them out. Thanks for reading!
from de-nos-bras :
babe! i already told u! delete bleak-horror and add me on this one. this is my new diary. no wonder ur asking where the hell i am! im not updating there anymore! i hope youre doing great xoxoxox <3
from pansycline :
hooray! it worked!
from pansycline :
ok. we need to concentrate on getting that cosmos swirling over by you! I'm sending hope out for you and a great apartment. you will get one!
from de-nos-bras :
i read the entry she wrote. how cute :) she sure is as special as her daddy! <3
from pansycline :
aw, man. that was so adorable.
from nicim :
hello chloe - and welcome. your dad was so looking forward to your visit. have fun together and write soon!
from chaosdaily :
hi chloe!! im glad to see you made it, your dad was anxiously waiting for you! have a good vacation!
from pansycline :
I hope someday you let your daughter see all these things you've written about her.
from chaosdaily :
O, just make sure you come back when you can. and you know, i like wolves...
from pansycline :
sorry I haven't written you back on your note. I don't know what's going on but it seems like this is a stressful crazy time for a lot of people! I though I was losing my mind for a couple days there but I'm always wrong about that. Phew! So I pass my recovery on your way -- moving and hunting for places to go is the worst!! You'll get it, though. re. your question: yes I am moving out from with my "once one and only" as you put it so well. It sucks. It's hard. But I know it's for the best. blahblahblahsameoldsameold.
from de-nos-bras :
chloe? sweet :) she should feel lucky, she has the best daddy on earth <3
from chaosdaily :
you may be the luckiest dad... and chloe is a very lucky daughter. and btw, if you can email me a pic of you, i will post it on your profile for you..... or if you can send one in snail mail, i can scan it and then post it...
from chaosdaily :
in january you wrote.. i am just an old wolf now but i am still alive still trying thats why i thought you were a wolf. my son is not afraid to be in a crowd, he was mad because his friends ditched him to join my daughters party.... he is that way.... just glad girls his age werent involved!
from chaosdaily :
im glad your daughter is coming, and i hope you both enjoy the visit. but you said you feel like a pussycat.... i thought you were a wolf.
from poetown :
Hi Orgami. You already know me on dland as another user, but I've decided I'd really like you to read this diary. See if you can guess my alias.
from pansycline :
"people are strange and not always in the rain are faces ugly" - love it! In fact, the whole entry this comes from is great. A wannabe hermit. I know exactly. As soon as I'm truly alone I wish I had some friends.
from de-nos-bras :
Orgami, this is my new diary. a private one tho, and ofcourse, you.re more than welcome to read it. him & i are friends, and i don.t know where i am heading anymore. my life has been so chaotic lately, that its making me sink into depression. i am so lost not knowing and not doing that i just try to calm down and relax but theres nthg to do and nthg to say and im losing control and all ughhhhhhhh. i miss you <3 Muriel..
from pansycline :
how awesome that you're going with your daughter to see Green Day! guess what, the Organ is playing a free concert here during DiversCite [Gay Days] this summer!
from the-regret :
I hope that you are well.
from hissandtell :
I was here the other day and absolutely loved your diary, darling. Thanks so much for the amusing note at my place. You think my writing's campy? Yippee! Someone finally realised! Thank you. (Too many exclamation marks so far, you say? I shall try to restrain myself...) Now that I'm back home I look forward to reading more of your writing. Much love, R xxx
from pansycline :
ugh. down with apartment hunting!!
from herdarlinsin :
Thank you for your note :)
from pansycline :
way to go, you!! I bet everyone in the library was cheering (silently, of course). Those assholes. Incidentally, only related to your triumph in terms of those are the people whose fault it is that darkness will come back and they won't know what to do when they see stars, I love this: "and will we look up again upon that forgotten sky at night deep in the valleys of the city". I'm going to Alberta in August where my family lives in the country. I can't WAIT for sky!
from pansycline :
ps I meant also to say, I too love driving, or even just sitting in a vehicle, in the rain. Trucks are best, somehow. Maybe it's a nostalgia thing. I drove a NAPA delivery truck one very hot summer, and occasionally there would be a thunderstorm and cloudburst and that was the best. Driving along, thinking, maybe the radio on, hot and humid and that best sparkling sound of the tires on damp pavement.
from pansycline :
Thanks for the lovely note! and the entry to me! That makes me happy -- I hope I have a happy heart. Most people seem to think so. Lately it's fogged over with frustration kind of often, but I try to not let that affect my driving. re. le Bonhomme. well, I don't think I saw him, but I was running the tap the other day and a red thread came flowing out but it flew down the drain before I could grab it. Do you think perhaps it was part of the Bonhomme's sash? You'd think that he would at least store him winter clothes before running all over the place all summer but then again, snowmen probably think differetly than most. Oh and also, I just had some of that very beer you're talking about, last week! It is pretty good!
from train-ticket :
thanks for the note! I love trains, feels like I spend my life in train stations and on trains, it was all symbollic at the time of creating this diary. And yeah, I guess he does like me. It was sweet of him to say what he did at least. By the way, Metric, great band! I saw them as their very first headlining show in London, they're so awesome.
from pansycline :
Hey I love Nico's voice too (and Kitty Wells, you already know); maybe I should check out Siouxsie.
from enchancea :
Thanks for joining the moon lover diary ring
from pansycline :
hugs to you today, friend.
from chaosdaily :
O, we all have days like that. just hang in there... tomorrow is another day.
from the-regret :
you need not mechanics of words.
from pansycline :
mm, I think they're poems. It's the incredibly vivid and unique imagery that does it -- you have a really natural style of writing and it makes for refreshingly direct and unpretentious poetry that is still insightful and presents your vision of and thoughts on things clearly. Some are more "like poems" than others, but art is also in presentation, and in little tweaks and surprises [and, obviously, in so much more], which your work is full of. What I really appreciate is the level of maturity and thoughtfulness, combined with the youthful interest in things, and bright imagination. I.e. you don't simply ramble on self-indulgently, like less mature poets often do. ps. you can edit your entries if you make a mistake, you know.
from bleak-horror :
we broke up. i just had to let you know..
from cassiopeia- :
Thank you for the note that you left for my mommy! kisses, cassie
from nicim :
one of the best was today. thank you!
from pansycline :
sir, you are NOT getting boring. it's the people not writing you notes who are getting boring. running out of brains -- at least I am. feeling somewhat burnt out. it will pass, I'm sure. as always.
from moodswing :
you may sound boring to yourself, but i am consistently entertained. always. you are my favourite if only for the reason that you always give me something to read.
from chaosdaily :
we did see the badlands, drove through them on our way to yellowstone. i would have liked to stay there, backpack into the canyons and tent it for a while.... but with small kids and a husband who doesnt like camping it wasnt an option.... maybe some day!
from bleak-horror :
dearest orgami. i do miss some things in that special person, but him and i are still together. he means the world to me...just that some people tend to change sometimes...i don.t know. and yeh, i am a very sensitive girl and im glad u and lori have such a stable and good relation ship <3 much love, Muri.
from pansycline :
antihistamines? really? because of the speed? I used to love the white wine and Claritin combo, but I just thought it was my own special blend of fun.
from chaosdaily :
did you ever go to devils tower? that is an awesome place, my husb had to drag me away. i wanted to just sit in a lawn chair for days and not leave......
from chaosdaily :
yea, its that old, gotta have a pill to wake up, one to stay up, and then 3 to get to sleep. and then it starts over the next day. i was never an addict, but i can see how easy it would be if you had the money and easy access to the drugs. thats why i try to stay away from it. alcohol too....
from ursamajor :
orgami... i really enjoy hearing from you. thanks so much. you always brighten my day. please don't stop writing here.
from bleak-horror :
yes Rimbaud. i love french poets and they should feel blessed because french is a magical language that can take you wherever you want to go and express whatever you want to feel in the exact same way. you should try to get some of his poems translated..eventho it won.t ever mean the same thing as the poet wrote in french. i do not beleive that translating something to another language keeps its true meaning, but i think it will keep the same whole idea. Jim morisson? The doors? some of his songs piss me off as others bring a smile on my face :) too bad he died, i often call him a 'genius' in music. i hope everything turns out well with that 'court thingie' and with Lori and all. As for me, i am still with my boy..loving him more and more, day after day and i.m glad i have him. school is almost done and next week, i will know if i passed my year or not. ofcourse, i.ll let you know the result. you just keep on letting the sun shine your days and smile :) cs when you do, problems easily fade away. and i noticed you added me on your favourite, i will add you right now. you take good care of yourself dearest and thank you for all the notes you left..it shows that someone cares. goodbye (K)
from pansycline :
thanks so much for the kind notes! re. Vanilla Ice. About8 or 9 years ago he played Cowboys bar, in Edmonton. I went, and you're right, he totally is hot, somehow! And, it was a shockingly fun and good show, too. I just went for jokes, but ended up loving it! Also, I'm wondering if you've ever heard the band 'Refused', considering your comments on System of a Down, I think you might like them. cheerio! pansy.
from chaosdaily :
O, i enjoy the notes you write. please dont stop!
from the-regret :
one brother and one sister, both atleast 10 years older than I.
from orgami :
cannot get on my entries three minutes left today what else to say that the sun is lost behind the great breast of mother sky that I am tender and caring about my Bunni that I am a red dragon according to a test I took on a users diary site that I drink coffee and love it that I have a girls bike even though I am six one and have long hair and a goatee nose ring and earring I love that bike though it was free anyway Love you all my peoples
from pansycline :
well, I hope you have fun, wherever you're going! stop by sometime for the nerds!
from chaosdaily :
gee now that you got mental4you updating, you are losing interest?? dont go!
from jackkellyo :
hey, thats good. well i really dont have much time to say much,been so busy with one thing or another lately its not funny, next week ill be out of town for a week,which should be fun but see you later
from m-antoinette :
sylvia plath: american, from massatchetes (sp?), schooled at smith college, fulbright scholar at cambridge university in cambridge, england. married ted hughes. published one book of poems - the colossus, and a novel - the bell jar while she was alive. she committed suicide in her home on feb 11 1963 at age 31. after her death ted hughes published new work of hers as ariel - to astounding reviews. and later winter trees, crossing the water, and collected poems. she is a fabulous writer! really.
from chaosdaily :
on the left hand side, click "edit your profile" and there you can add new buddies. i just want to say that i enjoy reading you....
from mental4you :
You give me such praise when I feel that I don't deserve it. You are the poet, never ceasing to amaze me (and annoy me at times)But I love you very very muchly!
from pansycline :
the kids on skateboards like cranes is fantastic!
from jackkellyo :
lol honestly orgami...i dont rember...but i dont deny anything new or old...so ok whatever.lol i have been quite busy lately and so its been rather hard to keep up with my self much less anything esle. but school is out for the summer which is good,and my life is going ok, in june i am going on vacation with my mum n dad n nephew,how has your life been lately?
from the-regret :
you know i love reading your diary too, and i hope that you are doing well.
from pansycline :
your craziness over lori makes me smile.
from pansycline :
good questions. it's probably too late for basking now, considering you're this far.
from pansycline :
I think you're cool! thanks!
from the-regret :
=)
from the-regret :
it is nice receiving your notes. thank you :)
from herdarlinsin :
Im glad to hear that some things are looking up for you. Congrats to your daughter.
from gypsymaiden :
I think your love for Lori is inspiring. It fills me with hope and amazement. Me who finds myself doubting true love, see the realization of it's possiblities in your words. Bravissimo
from pansycline :
I'm completely jealous of your trip to the country. I'm from the prairies and the building getting in the way of the skies is kind of exhausting sometimes. As for school, etc... same old same old. I'm getting kinda burnout, I think. I need to make some friends who are fun but not just when they're drunk -- like, the kind who can have fun playing boardgames, or doing nothing. I need to laugh my head off more regularly. In the middle of the night alone I am a drag. Apologies. I just really love getting your notes and want to respond in kind. I guess I'm going to bed. More later, pansy.
from the-regret :
there is a certain comfort in reading you, in which i can't put into words - even when you are writing of heartache. you have been blessed with an effortless talent and I am happy to be able to read along.
from the-regret :
I am going to be reading your diary on a regular basis..as far as updates go.<3
from pansycline :
I came here to commiserate about the loss of pen. It's a terrible thing. But I feel like a dork. So I changed my mind. But then I reread your self-note and entries about having wasted so much time being drunk / blacked out. Though I have no idea what your total state of affairs is/was and don't want to make assumptions, I have also spent a larger time than most being wasted / blacked out and even though it's cheesy to leave notes of cheap wisdom to strangers, you might consider that all that time is only wasted if you didn't / don't learn from your mistakes. At least, that's how I stop my own crippling guilt. I'm sure you've considered that, though. Still, it's more than the pope's ever said to any of us. I'm done now.
from chaosdaily :
every season is chocolate season......
from minstrelite :
Thank you for your beautifully written and poetic note. Every day's good.
from pansycline :
thanks, also, for the really great note! made me smile. people are the best and worst parts of living in a city, aren't they.
from pansycline :
It's funny [peculiar, not haha] how when things couldn't be going any worse and all you want is to be able to scream at someone to make it stop that when someone does ask how you are it becomes somehow impossible to choke out the truth. It's good that you are doing better now. Feels like the breaking of a fever, doesn't it. Your chet baker poem is very lovely. It suits the chet baker ambience to a T (tee?) -- I don't get that saying.
from bleak-horror :
could your writing be any more beautiful? you.re so talented :)
from pansycline :
thanks for the note. always a pleasure to have you stop by. I'm wondering if you've heard the Arcade Fire. I was listening to them as I read what you wrote and I thought you'd might quite like them. keep on keepin' on!
from orgami :
arch angel sweep in those glorious wings sleep in heavenly parlance moon light glittering off those earthly hues i wish i could i wish i was i wish my wish was what i am not what i seek nor find turn from lost on the highway again
from samgrey :
I wanted to thank you for the note you left me. I too am glad you stopped by. Amazing how much people can effect each other around here.
from herdarlinsin :
You weren't rambling dear. I understood everything you said to me. I write poetry as well. If you want to look at it sometime let me know ok? In the meantime, if you need a listening shoulder, Im here. Im a great listener. *hugs*
from pansycline :
me too. you speak very subtly. it's lulling and confusing - in the good way that forces one to sit still for a minute. what a strange yet not foreign thing to be lulled into confusion. me, I like her, I like Patsy and Hank, for temporarily calming the knives with their tragic honesty. I'm guessing I'm not the only one. how do you stay poetic? thanks for the note.
from herdarlinsin :
Your words and thoughts make my heart ache. Gut wrenching it all is, yet at the same time very calming to the soul. You're a great diarist. I'm glad I followed your link from Samgrey. Hang in there forty year old dad, you're going to make it.
from bleak-horror :
happy warm peaceful calm entries..i am loving them <3

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