messages to paintedgray:
(click here to add new message):

from thinplease :
I still live here. Thanks for reading my diary :)
from raven72d :
write again...
from raven72d :
2008... that's...three? four? years that I've read you?
from raven72d :
I do miss your voice.
from nicim :
wanted you to know I'm writing again. still in a state of misery - so not much to say....but it will get better!!
from quincy-blood :
It's amazing what can happen in a week. I appreciate what you wrote to me, I only just now realized it was there. You weren't being preachy, you were just being truthful. I was being unrealistic. I realize that now. The goal now is to set simple goals for myself that I know that I am capable of, and to not let myself get bogged down with matters that I have no control over. Life is too short to go insane. Thank you again.
from thinplease :
I am here in Eugene again, well, I live in springfield. but I am around. :)
from flicka :
I know. It's stupid. I'm tired. I obviously abuse and self-harm, so I think it's a part of self hatred.
from flicka :
I don't know. It's strange. He's seriously ill, and I want him to know love. Drugs, death of his mom, suicide/overdose of heroin of his brother, his homelessness time, his lack of friends and family, his misunderstandings, and the positives (smiling, understanding of some things, love, appreciation, and other things) all assist. It's the guilt associated of bringing him home on my birthday and him making me feel good on that day since 2000. He's had so much abandonment and he's not going to get much better. I don't know. Guilt and a need to make others feel better and "glue humpty" after humpty together. When I fix others, I forget about my own cracks.
from raven72d :
What will you do with your autumn?
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're writing again.
from laura-diane :
feel free to email me at [email protected] -- i do not post often... or ever it seems! but i am still well and very very happy. and i love your kitty's name :)
from raven72d :
Where have you been?
from fightn4life :
I believe in Santa he just stopped believing in me about 30 (or more) years ago. So where is my check, my DVD's? Now I am the one suppose to be buying all this stuff. You are the lucky one. :) All I got last year was an over loaded credit bill. Sandyz
from smashthegas :
Well, you don't have to celebrate Christmas with any religious connotations if it interferes with your own religion. Tell your family (and friends, and anyone who'll listen) that you will be celebrating a new "family-orientated-purchased-gift/exchange-of-cash-scenario" and when they look at you and ask what the fook you're on about, just hand them a wish list with very expensive stuff on it. Best to do it if you get them drunk, and are a bit tipsy yourself. (Is that allowed? Not meaning to offend but I know nothing about religion. I'm not religious and wasn't even christened, LOL) But either way, you know, dude, don't stress about the Christmas thing. Be cool bro, smash \m/
from raven72d :
Happy pre-Hannukah.
from sketch-angel :
Dont stress to much over this. Nearly every male i have come across has forgotten any date that was special, and in some rare cases when they actually remember the date, they forget what special occasion occured on that day.. lol
from xkitix :
Here is the deal... (And I don't mean this directley at you, I mean, in general) Why should God give mercy? What have you done to deserve it? You think that just being a good person is going to make a difference to God? If God really is as almighty as we make him out to be, what makes you think he's going to settle for this, "I am a good person, Have mercy on me." ? Religion was not made to bring peace and moral. It was not made in the first place, other than by man. Any "religion" or "belief" is completley man made. Other than the Bible, which is the foundation of all "religions", laws and what we know as right and wrong, there is nothing. So we can talk about quarreling religions all we want. But you need to remember, God didn't make "religions". Man did. By adding or taking away from the bible, man created "religion", beliefs and right and wrongs. The Lord doesn't want us to fight over our beliefs. The Lord wants us to believe solely in the bible, even referring to it more than to a pastor. Why else would he have taken the time to get the bible written, if he had not wanted us to read it. The Lord doesn't make us fight. We do. And anybody can say, I'm a good person. Even the murderer in prison, "Well deep down I am a good person, I'm nice to my cell mates and I love my parents. God will show me mercy." In believing that God will accept you if you're a good person, you're taking away parts of the bible that clearly state, "being a good person will not get you into heaven". Why bother believing in any portion of the bible - that there is a heaven - if you are going to take out parts, - being a good person doesn't earn you a spot in heaven - and say, Oh God didn't really mean that, I am a good person, I'll go to heaven. Well maybe if God didn't really mean that only those who have repented their sins and asked forgiveness can get into heaven, then maybe he didn't really even mean there is a heaven. Maybe he doesn't mean anything he says in the bible. Once you eliminate any portion of the bible, it defeats the purpose of believing in it. It is like saying, I believe that 1 multiplied by 2 is 2. Except, I don't believe that 2 divided by 2 is 1. Well why believe in multiplication and not division? They go hand in hand, it doesn't make sense believing 1x2=2 if you don't believe 2/2=1. You can't only believe half of something. Because if you can't believe and follow the other half of it, then what makes you think that you should be able to believe and follow the other half? It's much like this analogy; If you don't believe in the rug, then you can't wipe your feet on it. If you don't recognize the rug is there, then how do you think you can just wipe your feet on it, if it's really not even there? Anyways, there is so much more I could say. Hopefully you get my point. And I apologize for comming on rather strongly as you might find it. I did not intend to offend, only to clarify some questions you asked in your entry. If you would like, and are not offended - I hope not - I'd be most happy to talk some more. I'll be praying for you, xkitix
from candoor :
I was on the fringe of a few religions, Jewish included, growing up in NYC... family called themselves one or another faith, but did nothing about it, so it was all quite meaningless to me... except I saw it created a lot of conflict... I say just be true to yourself and try to do as little harm as possible and enjoy the moments, for there is nothing more we can do :)
from evababy777 :
user: tinaturner, pass: rose29bud, happy reading! :) it's not entirely interesting... mostly about law school. yuck. :(
from evababy777 :
sounds like a good answer. but, inevitably deciding who is a good person and who is not is difficult. where is the line drawn? who gets into heaven under the "good person" standard and who doesn't? who decides? god? which god? and what does god consider a "good person"? how do i know if i qualify as a "good person" under this god's standard? maybe this god thinks that only mormons are good people or only hindus are good people. maybe this god thinks that no one is a good person, because every person has done something "immoral" (i.e. lied, cheated, stole, been mean, etc). maybe this god is twisted and thinks that only serial killers are good people.... this is the philosopher in me coming out. what you wrote in yesterday's entry, reminded me of things we talked about over and over again in my philosophy of religion class in college. good luck with your family and your religious (or non-religious) search. :)
from lucretia-21 :
How did you get the courage to delete all of your old entries? I don't think I could ever do it. Years of my life are recorded on those pages. Without it, i'd feel incomplete. You're much braver than I. And I love the layout!
from evababy777 :
what is a "good" person?
from banefulvenus :
LOVE your site. It's absolutely amazing!!!
from candoor :
religion has lead to more arguments (and deaths) than any other subject, and still we do not see it for what it is, a devisive way to control people... man created religion to control people who believe in god by fooling them into following a specific set of rules that make the creators and purveyors of religion rich (or at least give them jobs)... I grew up with a couple of different religions poured into my ears in a hypocritical multi-religious family... so my perspective is skewed, but then, so is the perspective of every religious person I've ever met... at least I accept all of them, even though most of them reject my views... gee, I didn't know I was going to rant today :}
from dax2276 :
well, well... good to hear that you're seeing the world. don't stress it that the places don't "call out" to you. because they would, in due time. and you'll hear them. not in the boring orthodox way. but you'll know when it happens. anyway, that entry of mine is not about my wife. my wife left me two years ago for some other romance. tomorrow i'm seeing my divorce lawyer. wish me luck! =) cheers to love and to peculiar places!
from sweet18-2004 :
Deb Deb Deb... Of course I have already seen the new layout. Loving to see you posting again. It's super good to have you back. xxx
from raven72d :
don't forget your past and old acquaintances.
from laura-diane :
wow you deleted them all? you are such a sweetheart. good luck babe.

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